I JUST GOT BACK FROM VANCOUVER AND I HAD THE BEST TIME EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I went to Vancouver on Tuesday night, had dinner at Congee noodle house, then slept in my buddy's dorm at UBC, then the next day, I went to Stanley Park, and climbed up a gigantic tree, and then met my friend from Van whom I've never met before, and we went adventuring in downtown Van, and stole three ten-dollar elevator rides up this elevator that has glass walls so that you can see all of Vancouver, and then I went back to said dorm room, and then the next day, we went back to Stanley Park, and me and Brianna went to the aquarium, where we got pictures taken, and then we went to Tinseltown, where we explored a gigantic mall, and had dinner at this cute cafe off of Water Street where there's a Steam Clock, which is sweet, and then we went to see American Dreamz at Tinseltown, which frickin hilarious! And then we went to this UBC party at Rec beach where we sat around this bonfire, and sang songs with this cute boy from Montreal named Connely, and I sang Lord I Know I Been Changed by myself, and everybody who was around cheered a lot for me! Which was superduper! And then I went back to my friend Llowyn's house where I slept and the next morning, we got up and picked up Brianna who almost got laid, but didn't, and then me and Llowyn went to Science World, where I fit into this tiny foot and a half square box, and then we went on this ferry ride for free (because Llowyn works for them) and went to Granville Island, where we explored this Kid's Market, and then caught a bus all by ourselves to the PACIFIC COLISEUM WHERE WE SAW FRANZ FERDINAND LIVE IN CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL MARRY THEM ALL!!!!!
This was my Vancouver trip. It was small, and emo, but still good. Ya. Still good. (lol, Brianna!)
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
T-minus eighteen hours, fifty-four minutes and counting...
is it slightly odd, that tomorrow at seven I start an unspecified-long, completely spontaneous, random-til-hell-wouldn't-have-it adventure in Vancouver, and I'm most excited about Brianna's Mom cooking me chicken dinner before we leave tomorrow?
I need to learn how to cook.
I need to learn how to cook.
Monday, April 24, 2006
bah and a half; I'm hormonal and crampy
my life is utterly boring right now. The most exciting thing that's happened since I talked to you last is, Brianna was stayuing ovwer one weekend, and we ended up the last ones awake with my bro's friends Donnie, and Ryan. They werr going to go four-bying, and they wanted to know if we wanted to come along. I was like, "I dunno," and looked at Brianna, and she was luike, "why the hell not?" I was like, holy crap! Brianna, more adventurous than me? What the duece??? So we went four-bying with two strange boys at one'o'clock in the morning!
Ryan goes and picks up his Explorer, and we head out. He explains that the transmission is pretty much shot, but it'll still go forward when pursuaded, so we start four-bying. We go over one mud pit, and it's so much freakin fun! Then we go farther and farther up the mountain, when all of a sudden--the truck won't go forward! *cringe* So Ryan's like, "Well, she's probably just over-heated, so we'll just turn her off, and wait for her to cool down." So we do. Ten minutes later, he turns the ignition--nothing happens! Donnie, adn Ryan are just like, "fuck"!!! They get out, and look under the hood, and apparently the starter has frozen itself in engaged! So what do we do? We build a brush fire!
Donnie and Ryan are both drunk, plus they don't know what the hell they're doing! Donnie would put a bunch of tinder on the flame, and it would catch a little bit--and than he would step on it, and the whole fucking thing would go out, lol! So finally, I take some of the fir they brought with them, and say "get away from the fire Donnie! If you want the fire to get going, you let the tinder catch," here I paused, and let the tinder catch, "and then you place wood on top!" And lo and behold within fifteen minutes we had urselves a respectable blaze! Stupid drunk rednecks!
A little while later, Donnie, in his drunken wisdom, tells Ryan to go bang the starter with a rock, cause it might disengage it. So he does! He tries to start it again, and VROOOM!!! Me and Brianna just start laughing, and we all pile in, and continue living dangerously! Finally, we get back to the mud pit we went through the first time, and Donnie and Ryan get out to lock in the four-wheel drive. They get back in--and nothing. She won't go! Ryan starts revving the engine, and BANG! Uh-oh. They get out and look under the hood again, and the tranny is totally shot. Smoking, and dying!
So Ryan called his friend Curtis out and he towed us back to Timberlands Pub. We caught a ride with him to Donnie's place, and Donnie gave us a ride back to my place. By this time, it's like four in the morning! I put on a pot of coffee, and we start to watch Zoolander. By the time my coffee is steaming in front of me, I'm passed out in an armchair. Brianna goes to bed at fivethirty. We wake up the next morning, and my brother never even knew we were gone! lol!
Donnie stops by the next morning, and him, Quinn, Courtney, Brianna, and I are all chillin in my living room,. Donnie confesses to Quinn that he knocked down Quinn's tarp set-up, and gouged some of our driveway. Me and Brianna look and each other, and are just like, "You know what else Donnie 'didn't do'? took us four-bying at one in the morning last night!!!" Quinn just gave Donnie a look that could kill! It was excellent, haha!
So yeah, that's about the extent of it. Today I am medicated intensely, and gross. :P I have nothing else to blog about--I am uninteresting. ttyl, toots!
Ryan goes and picks up his Explorer, and we head out. He explains that the transmission is pretty much shot, but it'll still go forward when pursuaded, so we start four-bying. We go over one mud pit, and it's so much freakin fun! Then we go farther and farther up the mountain, when all of a sudden--the truck won't go forward! *cringe* So Ryan's like, "Well, she's probably just over-heated, so we'll just turn her off, and wait for her to cool down." So we do. Ten minutes later, he turns the ignition--nothing happens! Donnie, adn Ryan are just like, "fuck"!!! They get out, and look under the hood, and apparently the starter has frozen itself in engaged! So what do we do? We build a brush fire!
Donnie and Ryan are both drunk, plus they don't know what the hell they're doing! Donnie would put a bunch of tinder on the flame, and it would catch a little bit--and than he would step on it, and the whole fucking thing would go out, lol! So finally, I take some of the fir they brought with them, and say "get away from the fire Donnie! If you want the fire to get going, you let the tinder catch," here I paused, and let the tinder catch, "and then you place wood on top!" And lo and behold within fifteen minutes we had urselves a respectable blaze! Stupid drunk rednecks!
A little while later, Donnie, in his drunken wisdom, tells Ryan to go bang the starter with a rock, cause it might disengage it. So he does! He tries to start it again, and VROOOM!!! Me and Brianna just start laughing, and we all pile in, and continue living dangerously! Finally, we get back to the mud pit we went through the first time, and Donnie and Ryan get out to lock in the four-wheel drive. They get back in--and nothing. She won't go! Ryan starts revving the engine, and BANG! Uh-oh. They get out and look under the hood again, and the tranny is totally shot. Smoking, and dying!
So Ryan called his friend Curtis out and he towed us back to Timberlands Pub. We caught a ride with him to Donnie's place, and Donnie gave us a ride back to my place. By this time, it's like four in the morning! I put on a pot of coffee, and we start to watch Zoolander. By the time my coffee is steaming in front of me, I'm passed out in an armchair. Brianna goes to bed at fivethirty. We wake up the next morning, and my brother never even knew we were gone! lol!
Donnie stops by the next morning, and him, Quinn, Courtney, Brianna, and I are all chillin in my living room,. Donnie confesses to Quinn that he knocked down Quinn's tarp set-up, and gouged some of our driveway. Me and Brianna look and each other, and are just like, "You know what else Donnie 'didn't do'? took us four-bying at one in the morning last night!!!" Quinn just gave Donnie a look that could kill! It was excellent, haha!
So yeah, that's about the extent of it. Today I am medicated intensely, and gross. :P I have nothing else to blog about--I am uninteresting. ttyl, toots!
Friday, April 21, 2006
astro babble
FUCKING internet window just closed the post I was writing, so now I have to rewrite it. RAWR
Courtney brought over a book called Love Signs, and just for shits and giggles, I read the section about Leo, and Capricorn. I seem to have this thing with Leos. I've been involved with four of em. Ace, Sean, Pumpkin Face, and my first bf, Brett, and the book actually had information that applied to both my meaningful relationships. One thing it said was that Leo would try to change Capricorn, and Sean was a perfect example. He was always declaring (from upon high) just how he thought I just be. Like for instance, he wanted me to drop acting, and become a veterinarian, just because I enjoyed biology. You guys can guess how that went over! Ace did the same thing; he was never particularly sensitive about how he thought my wearing pj pnats to school was gross. And it hurt a lot. But I dealt with it, the same way the book supposed Capricorn women would deal with it. I said nothing at first so as to keep the peace, because a little part of me could see his point. But eventually, it developed into this huge issue, that we had our biggest fight over, and ultimately we pretty much ended up breaking up over.
For another thing, the book described Leos as having these grand ambitions, and every confidence that these ambitions would be realized. For Ace, there was never any question that he would become a sound designer. And he did.
One thing, it talked about was how Capricorns and Leos fought most often over money, and how to deal with it effectively. One thing that was never a problem between Sean and I was money and looking back, I realize that we had the same attitude towards it that the book said would be ideal for Leo and Capricorn.
Ironically, the very first thing the chapter says is, "The Leo male believes that he is, by far, the most practical person he knows" which is exactly the view Ace had. And he had some credence to that; he has a Virgo ascendant which is the essence of practicality. But I could never pretend that I didn't think Ace's opinion of his own practicality was greater than what it actually was. Giving advice to Ace was like sitting on the ground and telling the Earth to remold itself into a cube, just for my pleasure.
One thing that always fascinated me about Ace was how much time he spent in front of the mirror each morning, and there it was in the book!
One thing, I wasn't sure about was the way the book described Leo's inner reactions to dealing with Capricorns. It accused me of seeing Leo as being wasteful, careless, egotistical, and vain, all of which I think about one Leo ex-boyfriend, or another. And it said Leo finds Capricorn cold, selfish, unfeeling, and stuffy. I would be interested to find out if thats true about Sean and Ace.
Another thing I wasn't sure about was how Leos sense this "teaching" vibe from Capricorns, and that throws them off-balance, and makes them feel awkward, impractical, and foolish. I never thought Ace ever felt this way, but I have to admit, if he ever did, I would be the last person he'd ever admit it to.
The thing that was amazing though, was one of the paragraphs said, "Leo represents to Capricorn, the eighth house of sexual mystery, death, rebirth, reincarnation, and regeneration. This often takes unusual forms in their relationship, one them being that the association brings to Capricorn, through Leo some experience of death..." What the duece???? I'd been with Ace only three months when Mom died! And if I hadn't been with Ace, I would have been with Sean! Fuckin-A-weird!
So if Ace or Sean read this, you two should give me feedback on the things I wasn't sure about. And please don't be mad at me for anything! Everyone else, isn't that cool? Whether you believe in astrology or not, any objective critic has to admit that there are similarities to real life to be found within astrology.
Courtney brought over a book called Love Signs, and just for shits and giggles, I read the section about Leo, and Capricorn. I seem to have this thing with Leos. I've been involved with four of em. Ace, Sean, Pumpkin Face, and my first bf, Brett, and the book actually had information that applied to both my meaningful relationships. One thing it said was that Leo would try to change Capricorn, and Sean was a perfect example. He was always declaring (from upon high) just how he thought I just be. Like for instance, he wanted me to drop acting, and become a veterinarian, just because I enjoyed biology. You guys can guess how that went over! Ace did the same thing; he was never particularly sensitive about how he thought my wearing pj pnats to school was gross. And it hurt a lot. But I dealt with it, the same way the book supposed Capricorn women would deal with it. I said nothing at first so as to keep the peace, because a little part of me could see his point. But eventually, it developed into this huge issue, that we had our biggest fight over, and ultimately we pretty much ended up breaking up over.
For another thing, the book described Leos as having these grand ambitions, and every confidence that these ambitions would be realized. For Ace, there was never any question that he would become a sound designer. And he did.
One thing, it talked about was how Capricorns and Leos fought most often over money, and how to deal with it effectively. One thing that was never a problem between Sean and I was money and looking back, I realize that we had the same attitude towards it that the book said would be ideal for Leo and Capricorn.
Ironically, the very first thing the chapter says is, "The Leo male believes that he is, by far, the most practical person he knows" which is exactly the view Ace had. And he had some credence to that; he has a Virgo ascendant which is the essence of practicality. But I could never pretend that I didn't think Ace's opinion of his own practicality was greater than what it actually was. Giving advice to Ace was like sitting on the ground and telling the Earth to remold itself into a cube, just for my pleasure.
One thing that always fascinated me about Ace was how much time he spent in front of the mirror each morning, and there it was in the book!
One thing, I wasn't sure about was the way the book described Leo's inner reactions to dealing with Capricorns. It accused me of seeing Leo as being wasteful, careless, egotistical, and vain, all of which I think about one Leo ex-boyfriend, or another. And it said Leo finds Capricorn cold, selfish, unfeeling, and stuffy. I would be interested to find out if thats true about Sean and Ace.
Another thing I wasn't sure about was how Leos sense this "teaching" vibe from Capricorns, and that throws them off-balance, and makes them feel awkward, impractical, and foolish. I never thought Ace ever felt this way, but I have to admit, if he ever did, I would be the last person he'd ever admit it to.
The thing that was amazing though, was one of the paragraphs said, "Leo represents to Capricorn, the eighth house of sexual mystery, death, rebirth, reincarnation, and regeneration. This often takes unusual forms in their relationship, one them being that the association brings to Capricorn, through Leo some experience of death..." What the duece???? I'd been with Ace only three months when Mom died! And if I hadn't been with Ace, I would have been with Sean! Fuckin-A-weird!
So if Ace or Sean read this, you two should give me feedback on the things I wasn't sure about. And please don't be mad at me for anything! Everyone else, isn't that cool? Whether you believe in astrology or not, any objective critic has to admit that there are similarities to real life to be found within astrology.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
i hate surveys!
then why am I doing one, you ask? because I'm contrary. *raspberry*
1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING? not per se...I was proposed to, but the ring hadn't arrived yet, he said.
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? a year, and...I dunno a week?
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? I--actually can't remember. How dismal.
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? I think a better question would be how many times have I NOT dropped my cell phone, lol!
5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? well, if you can't warmup before shows, a little over a month ago. If you don't, well...I don't think I've ever worked out. Ever.
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? I have a philosophy: the most important things about your image is what you should spend the most money on. No one can tell expensive designer jeans from WalMart specials. However, you can tell a bad dye job, or hair cut, as opposed to an excellent one. My big bucks are spent on panties, bathing suits, and haircuts. They're important.
Oh yeah, and rent.
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? coffee. an orange, last night
8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE SAME SEX? body
9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? at the moment, that would be All These Things That I've Done by the Killers. Or possible We Want Fun, by Andrew W.K.
10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? an acreage in south nanaimo. it's ALL MINE!
11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED: Welly! (what? Welly! What?)
12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: Rogers
13. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON WHO YOU COPIED THIS: I think Mel is fantastic, and I'm super glad she's trying to get back on the right track.
14.LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: 10 months. A long, hellish ten months.
15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? I would think so.
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: oddly enough, no. That's something that must be remedied!
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED: My cousin,. Tracey's. We had a pig roast, and my sister got so drunk, she went cross-eyed!
18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: hmmm... probably Brianna. And then Ace. And then everybody, cause I'd be having a motherfucker of a party. Open bar, anyone?!!!
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND: when me, and Geoff, and Barbara, and Amber were dropping Brianna off at her place after our two day hang out marathon.
20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: mozarella's! I adore mozza stix!
21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE HEARD? We're going into Iraq to find Osama bin Laden.
(where did 22 go???)
23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? MGM after a kickin party.
24. CAN YOU COOK? well...you could say that...
25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: hopefully a Honda.
26. BEST KISSER? ok, Ace is good at everything sexual.
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: the night before last while listening to some stupid country song about mamas lookin down through holes in the floor of heaven. I hate country. Especially when it pertains to my life. fuckers.
28. MOST DISLIKED FOOD: MUSHROOMS!!!!! ew!
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: my pure excellence.
30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: my funny weird underneath-tummy-roll; it's fucked up.
31. LONGEST SHIFT YOU H AVE WORKED AT A JOB? I dunno, nine hours. Avalon was ass, and didn't pay overtime if they could help it, so they literally kicked you the hell out once you hit eight hours, no matter how busy it was.
33. FAVORITE MOVIE(S)? We Were Soldiers, The Iron Giant, Galaxy Quest, and Jackass the Movie
34. CAN YOU SING? abso-damn-lutely! I couldn't be as slammin as I am, if I couldn't.
35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? haha! like..the Moffatts! In 2001! lol!
36. LAST KISS?: um...Geoff on girl's night...WAIT! nope, Barbara, on girl's night.
37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: King Kong, and Just Friends, I do believe.
38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT: my purse.
39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?: At the moment, the coolest place I've been was Los Angeles, but I wanna go to Laguna Beach. (NOT because of the tv show, you fuckin tards! because a friend of mine got really excellent jeans there like three years ago)
43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: both.
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN? robin williams
45. DO YOU SMOKE? yeppers
46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? usually with
47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?: My doggie used to. *tear* ...NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!!
48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?: NO! I need sex.
49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? once, driving with the Mom in Washington. stupid yank cops. (no, I'm jk! lol! he was very nice)
50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? french toast, always.
51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: more like, I NEED coffee.
52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? over medium (Ace taught me the intricacies of egg ordering at Smitty's one morning)
53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: pretty much. just in compatibility and personality profiles, though. My mom was a hardcore astrologer; she loved it, adn taught me a lot about it, and I've found too many similarities to the way astro-nerding says someone will jump when you push their buttons, and the way way they jump when you push their buttons for me not to believe in it.
54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: ummm, Brianna to tell her Biff, adn James might come with us to Vancouver next week!
55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: haha! Courtney called me six times at Geoff's the other night, lol!
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?: I dunno, my test messaging doesn't really work. :P
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS? um...four? I dunno.
59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: jeans, and my Wellington grad shirt. RAWR! Wildcats!
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC OR SONG? "don't be embarrassed by your trouble with livin/ Cause it's the ones with the sorest throats who've done the most singin" That's my quote. Yeah, that's right. It's MINE.
61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J SANDWICH? I don't like jelly. Or PB&J sandwichesl. GIVE ME MEAT!
62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL? kinda. I can beat Kevin some days, but only when Grant is helping me.
63. CAN YOU SWIM? yes
64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: rainbow
65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?: Yes. I'm super at navigation. My mom used to let me do all the map reading on our roadtrips, and most of the time, when we got into a tussle, I was right!
66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I fell asleep in an armchair last night watching JackAss.
68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: HAHAHA! What a question! let's see...Bonfire party, I was SUPPOSED to go to the Willenium party, St. Paddy's Day party, Oresteia closing toga party, 80's Party, Pirate Party 1 &2, the Princess Party, and I'm planning many MANY more.
69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?: summer
70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID? the first thing that popped into my head was when I was listening to my messages and found a voicemail from Brianna that was like, "I'm waiting in the dorms for you--oh, wait, is that you?...no no, it isn't. ...ok" and I laughed hysterically, rolling around on the floor for like three minutes.
71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ? um, I think Quinnn woke me up at around ten thirty, or eleven.
72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: MY BIRTHDAY!
73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: I got a warning for not wearing my seatbelt, one day when I was rushing from Zellers to my call for a fashion show I was modeling in...this was like three or four years ago. Back when I was a badass, and not such a weinie like now. (lol!)
75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET? Banjo was the name of the dog we had when I was born, but he loved me the m,ost, so that made him mine. My actual first pet who was my responsibility was a bunny named Shavanoo.
76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: SUPER ANNOYINGLY OVER-RATED, kind of like RENT. However, I won't deny that Johnny Depp is the sexiest thing to have ever walked this planet.
77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?? um. nothing. *shame*
78. BIRTHDATE: December 29th, 1987
79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE: an actress. I want the Oscar, baby!
80. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: nopers
81. ARE YOU SMILING?: NO, I wigggling, cause I have to piss like a drunken uncle cause this FUCKING survey is TAKING TOO FUCKING LONG!
88. DO YOU HAVE ON EYELINER?: no, fucktard, I just got out of bed!
89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW? I'll never stop missing her.
90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO? the bathroom
92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: nope. I';m a super-fancy College Pinto!
93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: I always have a crush. Bam Margera is hot in a really REALLy immature kind of way.
94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Arianna for a girl, and I haven't thought of boys names.
95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: white, and pink, and green.
96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?: WHAT? no! fool!
97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: yes I did! To Vancouver, and it was dope!
98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: no sir
99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER? three of 'em
100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: NO. downstairs in the den part of the basement
101. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? yes, I was born there. retard.
103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? yeah
104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?: two rings, and a cunt ring!
jk.
105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? pee, Chuck Norris style.
ok, bye. fuckin survey
1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING? not per se...I was proposed to, but the ring hadn't arrived yet, he said.
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? a year, and...I dunno a week?
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? I--actually can't remember. How dismal.
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? I think a better question would be how many times have I NOT dropped my cell phone, lol!
5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? well, if you can't warmup before shows, a little over a month ago. If you don't, well...I don't think I've ever worked out. Ever.
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? I have a philosophy: the most important things about your image is what you should spend the most money on. No one can tell expensive designer jeans from WalMart specials. However, you can tell a bad dye job, or hair cut, as opposed to an excellent one. My big bucks are spent on panties, bathing suits, and haircuts. They're important.
Oh yeah, and rent.
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? coffee. an orange, last night
8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE SAME SEX? body
9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? at the moment, that would be All These Things That I've Done by the Killers. Or possible We Want Fun, by Andrew W.K.
10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? an acreage in south nanaimo. it's ALL MINE!
11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED: Welly! (what? Welly! What?)
12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: Rogers
13. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON WHO YOU COPIED THIS: I think Mel is fantastic, and I'm super glad she's trying to get back on the right track.
14.LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: 10 months. A long, hellish ten months.
15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? I would think so.
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: oddly enough, no. That's something that must be remedied!
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED: My cousin,. Tracey's. We had a pig roast, and my sister got so drunk, she went cross-eyed!
18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: hmmm... probably Brianna. And then Ace. And then everybody, cause I'd be having a motherfucker of a party. Open bar, anyone?!!!
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND: when me, and Geoff, and Barbara, and Amber were dropping Brianna off at her place after our two day hang out marathon.
20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: mozarella's! I adore mozza stix!
21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE HEARD? We're going into Iraq to find Osama bin Laden.
(where did 22 go???)
23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? MGM after a kickin party.
24. CAN YOU COOK? well...you could say that...
25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: hopefully a Honda.
26. BEST KISSER? ok, Ace is good at everything sexual.
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: the night before last while listening to some stupid country song about mamas lookin down through holes in the floor of heaven. I hate country. Especially when it pertains to my life. fuckers.
28. MOST DISLIKED FOOD: MUSHROOMS!!!!! ew!
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: my pure excellence.
30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: my funny weird underneath-tummy-roll; it's fucked up.
31. LONGEST SHIFT YOU H AVE WORKED AT A JOB? I dunno, nine hours. Avalon was ass, and didn't pay overtime if they could help it, so they literally kicked you the hell out once you hit eight hours, no matter how busy it was.
33. FAVORITE MOVIE(S)? We Were Soldiers, The Iron Giant, Galaxy Quest, and Jackass the Movie
34. CAN YOU SING? abso-damn-lutely! I couldn't be as slammin as I am, if I couldn't.
35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? haha! like..the Moffatts! In 2001! lol!
36. LAST KISS?: um...Geoff on girl's night...WAIT! nope, Barbara, on girl's night.
37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: King Kong, and Just Friends, I do believe.
38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT: my purse.
39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?: At the moment, the coolest place I've been was Los Angeles, but I wanna go to Laguna Beach. (NOT because of the tv show, you fuckin tards! because a friend of mine got really excellent jeans there like three years ago)
43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: both.
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN? robin williams
45. DO YOU SMOKE? yeppers
46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? usually with
47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?: My doggie used to. *tear* ...NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!!
48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?: NO! I need sex.
49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? once, driving with the Mom in Washington. stupid yank cops. (no, I'm jk! lol! he was very nice)
50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? french toast, always.
51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: more like, I NEED coffee.
52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? over medium (Ace taught me the intricacies of egg ordering at Smitty's one morning)
53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: pretty much. just in compatibility and personality profiles, though. My mom was a hardcore astrologer; she loved it, adn taught me a lot about it, and I've found too many similarities to the way astro-nerding says someone will jump when you push their buttons, and the way way they jump when you push their buttons for me not to believe in it.
54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: ummm, Brianna to tell her Biff, adn James might come with us to Vancouver next week!
55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: haha! Courtney called me six times at Geoff's the other night, lol!
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?: I dunno, my test messaging doesn't really work. :P
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS? um...four? I dunno.
59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: jeans, and my Wellington grad shirt. RAWR! Wildcats!
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC OR SONG? "don't be embarrassed by your trouble with livin/ Cause it's the ones with the sorest throats who've done the most singin" That's my quote. Yeah, that's right. It's MINE.
61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J SANDWICH? I don't like jelly. Or PB&J sandwichesl. GIVE ME MEAT!
62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL? kinda. I can beat Kevin some days, but only when Grant is helping me.
63. CAN YOU SWIM? yes
64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: rainbow
65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?: Yes. I'm super at navigation. My mom used to let me do all the map reading on our roadtrips, and most of the time, when we got into a tussle, I was right!
66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I fell asleep in an armchair last night watching JackAss.
68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: HAHAHA! What a question! let's see...Bonfire party, I was SUPPOSED to go to the Willenium party, St. Paddy's Day party, Oresteia closing toga party, 80's Party, Pirate Party 1 &2, the Princess Party, and I'm planning many MANY more.
69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?: summer
70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID? the first thing that popped into my head was when I was listening to my messages and found a voicemail from Brianna that was like, "I'm waiting in the dorms for you--oh, wait, is that you?...no no, it isn't. ...ok" and I laughed hysterically, rolling around on the floor for like three minutes.
71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ? um, I think Quinnn woke me up at around ten thirty, or eleven.
72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: MY BIRTHDAY!
73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: I got a warning for not wearing my seatbelt, one day when I was rushing from Zellers to my call for a fashion show I was modeling in...this was like three or four years ago. Back when I was a badass, and not such a weinie like now. (lol!)
75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET? Banjo was the name of the dog we had when I was born, but he loved me the m,ost, so that made him mine. My actual first pet who was my responsibility was a bunny named Shavanoo.
76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: SUPER ANNOYINGLY OVER-RATED, kind of like RENT. However, I won't deny that Johnny Depp is the sexiest thing to have ever walked this planet.
77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?? um. nothing. *shame*
78. BIRTHDATE: December 29th, 1987
79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE: an actress. I want the Oscar, baby!
80. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: nopers
81. ARE YOU SMILING?: NO, I wigggling, cause I have to piss like a drunken uncle cause this FUCKING survey is TAKING TOO FUCKING LONG!
88. DO YOU HAVE ON EYELINER?: no, fucktard, I just got out of bed!
89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW? I'll never stop missing her.
90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO? the bathroom
92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: nope. I';m a super-fancy College Pinto!
93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: I always have a crush. Bam Margera is hot in a really REALLy immature kind of way.
94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Arianna for a girl, and I haven't thought of boys names.
95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: white, and pink, and green.
96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?: WHAT? no! fool!
97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: yes I did! To Vancouver, and it was dope!
98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: no sir
99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER? three of 'em
100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: NO. downstairs in the den part of the basement
101. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? yes, I was born there. retard.
103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? yeah
104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?: two rings, and a cunt ring!
jk.
105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? pee, Chuck Norris style.
ok, bye. fuckin survey
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
"awww...Alleah has the best naked"
"I don't wanna have the best naked..."
lol! The day before yesterday, me and Barbara, and Brianna, and later Geoff had our big facilitated sex talk with the big bro, with ended up being a full-blown drunken strip poker bonanza! Brianna got to my house around six, andwe had some girl talk. Barbara called us at eight or so, and we ended up walking down Bruce to meet her. When we got back to my house we decided how to solve our alchohol issues for the night (no boot). I had some Galiano left from a couple weeks ago, so we started with a shot of my big bro's Ballantine's scotch whisky (shhh!), and then made ourselves a Galiano-coke mix. Tastes like Vanilla Coke! mmmmm.
However, we WANTED margaritas, as this was a bit of a girl's night, so we called around until we got a hold of Geoff (I'd invited Biff, but he couldn't come), and he drove down. We were already a little flushed, so Barbara gave him some money, and I went with him to go buy tequila. The place we went only had the good, EXPENSIVE kind so we only had enough to buy a mickey. We bought our hooch, and returned home to find Barbara had broken out her blender, and then we discovered we had no ICE! So Geoff and Barbara went out to go get ice, and me and Brianna chilled while the bro arrived home from wherever he was at. They got back, and we began making margaritas!
They were le YUMMY! So at first, we were all hanging out, dancing like crazies to music, and talking about sex (facilitated sex talk). Then, I was all like, "I wanna get naked" so we busted out the card deck, and Quinn taught us how to play poker!
"I have two pair"
"Yeah well, I have three of a kind biz-nitch!"
"two pair beats three of a kind"
"awww"
"I want two--FUCK! I mean--I'm wearing my poker face"
lol! Anyways, I kept losing hardcore, and Quinn went to bed when it came time for the first bit of underwear to come off, lol! Geoff kept his clothes on, like a prude, so we kept having to give him dares. Brianna walked down the street with nothing but panties on!
After strip poker, us girls were down to nothing but panties, so what do we do? Take barely-there pics! cause we just can't get enough of being naked! They were so excellent, and then me like a dumbass, tried to delete one picture, and ended up erasing the whole memory! Quinn was le pissed at me. *cringe*
It was getting late-ish, so after a couple of heavenly massages, we all went to bed. Brianna slept with Quinn (I think she likes that more than sleeping with me! does anyone else find that a little odd...?)/ Barbara volunteered for the couch, and Geoff and I slept in my bed. Cuddly, and warm, with random me talking in my sleep, but no sex! go, me! I must be getting over my gross! w00t.
The next morning,w e all got up, and showered, and whatnot, and then we had a plan to go to choir, so we headed up to Geoff's, so he could have a shower too. (mine isn't good enough for him.) :P Me and Brianna ate samosa, and zoodles, and checked horoscopes, and I straightened my hair with a clothes iron, while Geoff was takin care of business.
Then, because I was supposed to hang out with Biff that day, but hadn't been able to get ahold of him (I blame Brianna for drying her hair, and making me miss the call), we headed to his house, to find him. When we got there, Carolyn was knocking on his door with no success! We walked around back, and found Biff weedwacking his back yard. Therein we had a conendrum, because me and Biff were supposed to chill together, but Carolyn wanted to hang out with him too. So I just said, we'd go to choir,a dn pick him up afterwards, and he seemd cool with that.
So we went to Brianna's bank, and me and Geoff pretended to be secret service men. lol, "ten-four, Charlie-Alpha, Bravo!" "I just said, I understand, CAB!" Then we went to chjoir, and rocked the socks off of everyone present that day! We learned a bunch of awesome stuff, and got to sing Seasons of Love agauin (I only like it cause I'm an alto; I still hate RENT!). I think Mrs. Sinclair is happy having us again, cause with us there, the choir picks stuff up way quicker. That was her main beef, as I heard it. We ran into Devin while we were there, and had some nice flamer hang out time, lol!
After choir we headed back to Biff's, and he needed time to get ready and wait for his bro to come home, so we went and picked up Gator, and dropped off Monkey while he got ready. Then we met them at Departure Bay Beach. We stood around, talking, and throwing rocks into the water, which was fun. They decided my camping name (if I'd been there) would have been Slick Chipmunk. *eye rolling* Then we made plans to meet at the gay bar, later that night, and since me and Brianna and Gaotr were starving, we headed to Gator's for din-dins.
Geoff cooked Thai Kitchen, and I dunno what Gator, and Beebur ate, but I ravaged a broccoli salad (broccoli casualties were high) and devoured some curried rice, and shrimp. I *heart* Gator's house, lol! I was lying on the counters (I'm not sure why), but when her mom got home, I was afriad of getting in trouble so I jumped off, and as soon as Sharon walked in the room, Laura finked on me! Sharon just laughed.
After that we picked up Amber, and went to the gay bar. And for the FIRST TIME EVER, we got IDed! Of course Geoff was the only legal one, and ironically, he actually did forget his ID in the car! So we gracefully left, and then went rollin to Geoff's place where we ate grilled cheese sandwiches and played Tekken 5. I HATE VIDEO GAMES, but at least I discovered a grab that made me pwn like three people hardcore. Barbara came and hung out with us at Geoff's, and then at eleven thirty (cause it's Geoff's) we had to go home. We never did end up getting ahold of Biff or Carolyn. :(
Courtney was at my place when I got home, and apparently, she'd left like six messages on my phone. It was upstairs charging, while we were downstairs in the den, so I hadn't gotten any of her calls. So I chilled with her and Quinn for a bit. One of the songs that was played at Mom's funeral came on the radio, and me and Quinn both just broke down. We had a bit of a cry on Courtney's shoulder, and then went to bed.
And now it's now. *shrug* I am happy to report progress on the crying more, and no random drunken sex parts of Operation Grow-Up, Pinto. Other than that, *french accent* 'smoke up, darling; life is shit, you will get to know this!' I *heart* Robin Williams Live on Broadway!
lol! The day before yesterday, me and Barbara, and Brianna, and later Geoff had our big facilitated sex talk with the big bro, with ended up being a full-blown drunken strip poker bonanza! Brianna got to my house around six, andwe had some girl talk. Barbara called us at eight or so, and we ended up walking down Bruce to meet her. When we got back to my house we decided how to solve our alchohol issues for the night (no boot). I had some Galiano left from a couple weeks ago, so we started with a shot of my big bro's Ballantine's scotch whisky (shhh!), and then made ourselves a Galiano-coke mix. Tastes like Vanilla Coke! mmmmm.
However, we WANTED margaritas, as this was a bit of a girl's night, so we called around until we got a hold of Geoff (I'd invited Biff, but he couldn't come), and he drove down. We were already a little flushed, so Barbara gave him some money, and I went with him to go buy tequila. The place we went only had the good, EXPENSIVE kind so we only had enough to buy a mickey. We bought our hooch, and returned home to find Barbara had broken out her blender, and then we discovered we had no ICE! So Geoff and Barbara went out to go get ice, and me and Brianna chilled while the bro arrived home from wherever he was at. They got back, and we began making margaritas!
They were le YUMMY! So at first, we were all hanging out, dancing like crazies to music, and talking about sex (facilitated sex talk). Then, I was all like, "I wanna get naked" so we busted out the card deck, and Quinn taught us how to play poker!
"I have two pair"
"Yeah well, I have three of a kind biz-nitch!"
"two pair beats three of a kind"
"awww"
"I want two--FUCK! I mean--I'm wearing my poker face"
lol! Anyways, I kept losing hardcore, and Quinn went to bed when it came time for the first bit of underwear to come off, lol! Geoff kept his clothes on, like a prude, so we kept having to give him dares. Brianna walked down the street with nothing but panties on!
After strip poker, us girls were down to nothing but panties, so what do we do? Take barely-there pics! cause we just can't get enough of being naked! They were so excellent, and then me like a dumbass, tried to delete one picture, and ended up erasing the whole memory! Quinn was le pissed at me. *cringe*
It was getting late-ish, so after a couple of heavenly massages, we all went to bed. Brianna slept with Quinn (I think she likes that more than sleeping with me! does anyone else find that a little odd...?)/ Barbara volunteered for the couch, and Geoff and I slept in my bed. Cuddly, and warm, with random me talking in my sleep, but no sex! go, me! I must be getting over my gross! w00t.
The next morning,w e all got up, and showered, and whatnot, and then we had a plan to go to choir, so we headed up to Geoff's, so he could have a shower too. (mine isn't good enough for him.) :P Me and Brianna ate samosa, and zoodles, and checked horoscopes, and I straightened my hair with a clothes iron, while Geoff was takin care of business.
Then, because I was supposed to hang out with Biff that day, but hadn't been able to get ahold of him (I blame Brianna for drying her hair, and making me miss the call), we headed to his house, to find him. When we got there, Carolyn was knocking on his door with no success! We walked around back, and found Biff weedwacking his back yard. Therein we had a conendrum, because me and Biff were supposed to chill together, but Carolyn wanted to hang out with him too. So I just said, we'd go to choir,a dn pick him up afterwards, and he seemd cool with that.
So we went to Brianna's bank, and me and Geoff pretended to be secret service men. lol, "ten-four, Charlie-Alpha, Bravo!" "I just said, I understand, CAB!" Then we went to chjoir, and rocked the socks off of everyone present that day! We learned a bunch of awesome stuff, and got to sing Seasons of Love agauin (I only like it cause I'm an alto; I still hate RENT!). I think Mrs. Sinclair is happy having us again, cause with us there, the choir picks stuff up way quicker. That was her main beef, as I heard it. We ran into Devin while we were there, and had some nice flamer hang out time, lol!
After choir we headed back to Biff's, and he needed time to get ready and wait for his bro to come home, so we went and picked up Gator, and dropped off Monkey while he got ready. Then we met them at Departure Bay Beach. We stood around, talking, and throwing rocks into the water, which was fun. They decided my camping name (if I'd been there) would have been Slick Chipmunk. *eye rolling* Then we made plans to meet at the gay bar, later that night, and since me and Brianna and Gaotr were starving, we headed to Gator's for din-dins.
Geoff cooked Thai Kitchen, and I dunno what Gator, and Beebur ate, but I ravaged a broccoli salad (broccoli casualties were high) and devoured some curried rice, and shrimp. I *heart* Gator's house, lol! I was lying on the counters (I'm not sure why), but when her mom got home, I was afriad of getting in trouble so I jumped off, and as soon as Sharon walked in the room, Laura finked on me! Sharon just laughed.
After that we picked up Amber, and went to the gay bar. And for the FIRST TIME EVER, we got IDed! Of course Geoff was the only legal one, and ironically, he actually did forget his ID in the car! So we gracefully left, and then went rollin to Geoff's place where we ate grilled cheese sandwiches and played Tekken 5. I HATE VIDEO GAMES, but at least I discovered a grab that made me pwn like three people hardcore. Barbara came and hung out with us at Geoff's, and then at eleven thirty (cause it's Geoff's) we had to go home. We never did end up getting ahold of Biff or Carolyn. :(
Courtney was at my place when I got home, and apparently, she'd left like six messages on my phone. It was upstairs charging, while we were downstairs in the den, so I hadn't gotten any of her calls. So I chilled with her and Quinn for a bit. One of the songs that was played at Mom's funeral came on the radio, and me and Quinn both just broke down. We had a bit of a cry on Courtney's shoulder, and then went to bed.
And now it's now. *shrug* I am happy to report progress on the crying more, and no random drunken sex parts of Operation Grow-Up, Pinto. Other than that, *french accent* 'smoke up, darling; life is shit, you will get to know this!' I *heart* Robin Williams Live on Broadway!
Monday, April 17, 2006
spring fever
Feeling unsatisfied with ourselves, and life in general seems to be a theme among my friends as of late. Brianna wants to begin doing all the things she's been PLANNING to do. Mel wants to change the things she dislikes about herself, as do I. So many of us are looking at ourselves in a new light this spring, and trying to take action. This is so great, I think! No matter how experienced we feel, the fact is, we are still SO YOUNG. That's a little weird for me to realize, but it's true. I love the fact that we're all gung-ho about renovating the old me's, and improving ourselves, especially at this time in our lives. It's basically the beginning of our lives as real people, and what a great time to start being the person you want to be.
The following is my plan to becoming a better Pinto.
1) recover from my mom's death
this is SUCH a huge issue with me. I have NOT dealt with my mom's death very well. I've been locking the emotions down, and ignoring them rather than dealing with it, and coming to terms with it, and it shows. From being depressed and not being able to get out of bed and to school, right up to feeling so off-balance I end up doing things I abhor (bonfire party). These are all things that stem from how fucked up my emotional world is from losing my Mom.
To fix this, I am going into therapy, for starters. I am also going to try and recognize when my problems are stemming from my emotional stability (or lack thereof) and when they are actually problems. And I'm going to find some time to devote to just me. This will help with pretty much everything, my boy trouble, my mom trouble, and plain old simple feeling overwhelmed, which happens almost every show.
This part is going to be really hard, but I'm going to try my best. I'm going to try and cry about it. That may seem really weird to those of you who know me, and know how easily I cry at a lot of things. But honestly, every time I get choked up about Mom's passing, I lock it down. I haven't let it out unless I was alone, and even then, I wouldn't EVER sob. That is SO unhealthy, and I must change that.
2) feel happier while single
this is such an important one for me. I don't want to think that all I am is a complement to someone else. That's the kind of thinking that will ruin any chances of a career in acting. The camera/stage doesn't give a shit about how good a girlfriend I am. And the boyfriends I have/have had/will have don't mean a thing to my future; at least not the way my career will. Boys are all well and good, but I want to make such an awesome life for myself without having a boy in the picture, and THEN I can start thinking about relationships again.
To fix this one, I am going to do everything I always wanted to do, but didn't cause I was focusing on boys instead. I'm going to find the money to go into dance again. I miss dance so much. Mrs. Sinclair is starting a community choir next year which I will be involved in. I am going to get better at all my little hobbies that I never spend much time on between school, shows, friends and Boyfriend.
I am going to go absolutely NUTS on friends. I mean, fuck, I have so freakin many of them, why the hell haven't I made good on that before? I don't spend nearly enough time with the people I like that I should, and there are enough people I like a lot that I won't go overboard on any one friend. And this isn't to say just parties, either! I know I'm an excellent person when NOT inebriated, so why is it, I only see most of my friends when I'm drunk? Screw that, I am going to have some awsome, non-alchoholic, hooligan fun with all those people I blew off, or didn't pay as much attention to because I was bf-ing. For starters, me and Barb and Brianna are having a "facilitated sex talk" with the big bro tonight. Also, I wanna have a spa night for all of us girls who are interested in fixing what's broken in our lives. There's some nice picnic-y fun being planned, and who doesn't like picnics??? And I also want to host an anniversary party for all the Nanaimo Failures! How much fun would that be? Semi-formal, come to my place, and drink cocktails, and talk about--what else--SEX! That would be SO MUCH FUN! And it wouldn't be a crazy drunken romp, either. For one thing none of us girls would want to ruin our dresses. And another thing, there aren't enough people on the blog to be able to have a big crazy party! Just a small, tasteful get-together, islander-style! And that's not the end of it, either. I have so many people I would call friends! Where are they??? I want to make better relationships, with all my Mals, especially the second years who I won't be seeing next year. I have Llowyn and Matt the Wh4tev3r (I will spend time with you, if I have to stalk you myself!) in Vancouver, and the Libratorbs who will be my friends whether they like it or not! For that matter, I haven't seen Nicole and Megan, or the rest of the Awesome Squad in forever! Where'd they disappear to??? All the Dovers, who I only see at the mall. Courtney and Quinn and I hang all the time, but only because she comes to our house! Courtney and I have known each other for over a decade! Why don't we chill together more? And Amanda Taft, my old best friend from way back in primary! Every time we get together, we can still talk the way we did back then. There's no awkward between us whatsoever! Why haven't I hung out with her lately. And Brad, and Devin, and Emily, and Ruiz, and April. I feel like I'm in the mood for a video shoot, Devin! Let's get crackin! Foo, I haven't seen in forever, Monkey, I haven't seen in forever. Kevin Dobson, for shit's sake! Paddy Barry, and Jess! Shit, I remember drinking wine, and playing video games with them! It was sweet! Where the duece are they now? And Jordan Skeeles, we haven't hung out in at least a month! We gotta change that, man! Sean, and Amay, and Bethany, we should DEFINITELY hang out and have some good clean Mormon fun! I haven't seen any of you in WAY too long!
HEY! ...maybe I should get baptized. now there's an idea! A little God in my life could help fix a LOT of things!
Ok, my point is, I need to get over the boy issue. I am way too excellent to be tied to a ball and chain at this point in my life. ON to the next thing!
3) work out
I know a bunch of you are going, shut up, Alleah, you look great, but I DON'T CARE. I want to lose five to ten pounds by the end of the Mal
program, OR BUST. I want actual muscles!!! It can only help. With everything. Think of the benefits: I'll have more strength with which to dance, which will ultimately make me a better dancer, and hone a very marketable skill of mine. I'll be so much healthier, and have so much energy and goodness floating around in me! And I'll have soemthing I can do by myself, and just think about whatever while I'm doing it. It is perfect me-time. It's so relaxing, and therapeutic to have something to do with your body that requires no thought whatsoever. And don't worry about the losing weight part of it. I'm small enough that going down to ninety-five pounds or so won't hurt me a bit. Hell, I'm 108 right now!
To make this happen, I am going to brainwash someone with a credit card so I can buy the Gunnar Peterson core-strength video. I don't know why, I just want it. Yoga is not my style, I despise running, and gyms are distasteful, and stinky. Exercise ball is where it's at!
4) focus on my career
I am a good actress. I will succeed. End of story.
But to do that, of course, I need a plan. I am at Mal until April next year. (2007) During that time, I am focusing on my body; working out, using my accident settlement cash to get nicer teeth. I want them bleached and straightened a little. They're kind of gross right now. And of course auditioning for everything humanly possible. EVERYTHING. It doesn't matter where I am in my schooling, if I'm right for a part, I'll get it, and then I'm working. And working as an actress is my goal isn't it?
Next stop on Pinto's Roadmap to Acting would be another school. The year I finish Mal, I'm auditioning for every school I'm interested in. Studio 58, CCPA, UBC, U of A, and Red Deer. If I really want to go all out, I may even audition for the National Theatre School or some such. I'm going to go crazy. Many places won't accept an applicant the first audition around, like Studio 58, but if I go nuts, somebody will be willing to accept me.
At some point, if I can get into a few professional shows, I'm going to go for my Equity apprenticeship. I have to pay a deposit to the union, then be in at least three Equity shows as an apprentice before I get the membership.
After that, I'm just going to keep going to school, and getting farther and farther into student debt until I get working. I just WON'T give up. I can't. It's just not in me. I will never say, "well, I gave it my best shot, and it just wasn't meant to be." I don't care what's 'meant to be.' I WILL act. period.
And that's my plan to becoming an awesome Pinto. Excellence, or bust! VIVA LA PINTO!!!!
The following is my plan to becoming a better Pinto.
1) recover from my mom's death
this is SUCH a huge issue with me. I have NOT dealt with my mom's death very well. I've been locking the emotions down, and ignoring them rather than dealing with it, and coming to terms with it, and it shows. From being depressed and not being able to get out of bed and to school, right up to feeling so off-balance I end up doing things I abhor (bonfire party). These are all things that stem from how fucked up my emotional world is from losing my Mom.
To fix this, I am going into therapy, for starters. I am also going to try and recognize when my problems are stemming from my emotional stability (or lack thereof) and when they are actually problems. And I'm going to find some time to devote to just me. This will help with pretty much everything, my boy trouble, my mom trouble, and plain old simple feeling overwhelmed, which happens almost every show.
This part is going to be really hard, but I'm going to try my best. I'm going to try and cry about it. That may seem really weird to those of you who know me, and know how easily I cry at a lot of things. But honestly, every time I get choked up about Mom's passing, I lock it down. I haven't let it out unless I was alone, and even then, I wouldn't EVER sob. That is SO unhealthy, and I must change that.
2) feel happier while single
this is such an important one for me. I don't want to think that all I am is a complement to someone else. That's the kind of thinking that will ruin any chances of a career in acting. The camera/stage doesn't give a shit about how good a girlfriend I am. And the boyfriends I have/have had/will have don't mean a thing to my future; at least not the way my career will. Boys are all well and good, but I want to make such an awesome life for myself without having a boy in the picture, and THEN I can start thinking about relationships again.
To fix this one, I am going to do everything I always wanted to do, but didn't cause I was focusing on boys instead. I'm going to find the money to go into dance again. I miss dance so much. Mrs. Sinclair is starting a community choir next year which I will be involved in. I am going to get better at all my little hobbies that I never spend much time on between school, shows, friends and Boyfriend.
I am going to go absolutely NUTS on friends. I mean, fuck, I have so freakin many of them, why the hell haven't I made good on that before? I don't spend nearly enough time with the people I like that I should, and there are enough people I like a lot that I won't go overboard on any one friend. And this isn't to say just parties, either! I know I'm an excellent person when NOT inebriated, so why is it, I only see most of my friends when I'm drunk? Screw that, I am going to have some awsome, non-alchoholic, hooligan fun with all those people I blew off, or didn't pay as much attention to because I was bf-ing. For starters, me and Barb and Brianna are having a "facilitated sex talk" with the big bro tonight. Also, I wanna have a spa night for all of us girls who are interested in fixing what's broken in our lives. There's some nice picnic-y fun being planned, and who doesn't like picnics??? And I also want to host an anniversary party for all the Nanaimo Failures! How much fun would that be? Semi-formal, come to my place, and drink cocktails, and talk about--what else--SEX! That would be SO MUCH FUN! And it wouldn't be a crazy drunken romp, either. For one thing none of us girls would want to ruin our dresses. And another thing, there aren't enough people on the blog to be able to have a big crazy party! Just a small, tasteful get-together, islander-style! And that's not the end of it, either. I have so many people I would call friends! Where are they??? I want to make better relationships, with all my Mals, especially the second years who I won't be seeing next year. I have Llowyn and Matt the Wh4tev3r (I will spend time with you, if I have to stalk you myself!) in Vancouver, and the Libratorbs who will be my friends whether they like it or not! For that matter, I haven't seen Nicole and Megan, or the rest of the Awesome Squad in forever! Where'd they disappear to??? All the Dovers, who I only see at the mall. Courtney and Quinn and I hang all the time, but only because she comes to our house! Courtney and I have known each other for over a decade! Why don't we chill together more? And Amanda Taft, my old best friend from way back in primary! Every time we get together, we can still talk the way we did back then. There's no awkward between us whatsoever! Why haven't I hung out with her lately. And Brad, and Devin, and Emily, and Ruiz, and April. I feel like I'm in the mood for a video shoot, Devin! Let's get crackin! Foo, I haven't seen in forever, Monkey, I haven't seen in forever. Kevin Dobson, for shit's sake! Paddy Barry, and Jess! Shit, I remember drinking wine, and playing video games with them! It was sweet! Where the duece are they now? And Jordan Skeeles, we haven't hung out in at least a month! We gotta change that, man! Sean, and Amay, and Bethany, we should DEFINITELY hang out and have some good clean Mormon fun! I haven't seen any of you in WAY too long!
HEY! ...maybe I should get baptized. now there's an idea! A little God in my life could help fix a LOT of things!
Ok, my point is, I need to get over the boy issue. I am way too excellent to be tied to a ball and chain at this point in my life. ON to the next thing!
3) work out
I know a bunch of you are going, shut up, Alleah, you look great, but I DON'T CARE. I want to lose five to ten pounds by the end of the Mal
program, OR BUST. I want actual muscles!!! It can only help. With everything. Think of the benefits: I'll have more strength with which to dance, which will ultimately make me a better dancer, and hone a very marketable skill of mine. I'll be so much healthier, and have so much energy and goodness floating around in me! And I'll have soemthing I can do by myself, and just think about whatever while I'm doing it. It is perfect me-time. It's so relaxing, and therapeutic to have something to do with your body that requires no thought whatsoever. And don't worry about the losing weight part of it. I'm small enough that going down to ninety-five pounds or so won't hurt me a bit. Hell, I'm 108 right now!
To make this happen, I am going to brainwash someone with a credit card so I can buy the Gunnar Peterson core-strength video. I don't know why, I just want it. Yoga is not my style, I despise running, and gyms are distasteful, and stinky. Exercise ball is where it's at!
4) focus on my career
I am a good actress. I will succeed. End of story.
But to do that, of course, I need a plan. I am at Mal until April next year. (2007) During that time, I am focusing on my body; working out, using my accident settlement cash to get nicer teeth. I want them bleached and straightened a little. They're kind of gross right now. And of course auditioning for everything humanly possible. EVERYTHING. It doesn't matter where I am in my schooling, if I'm right for a part, I'll get it, and then I'm working. And working as an actress is my goal isn't it?
Next stop on Pinto's Roadmap to Acting would be another school. The year I finish Mal, I'm auditioning for every school I'm interested in. Studio 58, CCPA, UBC, U of A, and Red Deer. If I really want to go all out, I may even audition for the National Theatre School or some such. I'm going to go crazy. Many places won't accept an applicant the first audition around, like Studio 58, but if I go nuts, somebody will be willing to accept me.
At some point, if I can get into a few professional shows, I'm going to go for my Equity apprenticeship. I have to pay a deposit to the union, then be in at least three Equity shows as an apprentice before I get the membership.
After that, I'm just going to keep going to school, and getting farther and farther into student debt until I get working. I just WON'T give up. I can't. It's just not in me. I will never say, "well, I gave it my best shot, and it just wasn't meant to be." I don't care what's 'meant to be.' I WILL act. period.
And that's my plan to becoming an awesome Pinto. Excellence, or bust! VIVA LA PINTO!!!!
Sunday, April 16, 2006
I wanna give you up/ but I'm addicted
yeah, I know, I broke my own rule, and posted a song lyric as the title of this post. But seriously, the other options were '*blank stare*', 'drool' and 'nothing eventful happened this weekend' I think the one I went for works best. ;)
I just came back for Easter weekend with the folks. It was...well, it was Easter weekend with the folks. *shrug* Played a lot of cards, ate some real meals (you kn0w, cooked. in a real live oven! I was livin in the lap of luxury this weekend!), and went to the beach. I collected lots of pretty stones at the beach and slipped on a rock, and gashed my palm on a barnacle. Quinn got a lovely shot of my ass covered in sea slime! *eye rolling*
I bought Quinn Easter goodies, cause I figured he probably hadn't gotten a basket in a long time, being you know-- a PARENT-- way out in Ontario all these years. He enjoyed that. I think my grandparents figure I'm too old for a basket now, cause come Easter morning there were no choclates for me. bummer. What a gip! I could have been at Brianna's, and gotten chocolate,m and a f***in good time for Easter instead of being at that stultifying family function, being driven nutters by those devilspawn of children my sister grew. Yeah that's right. They werre GROWN. Like weeds. :P
Other than that, I did a whole lot of nuthin. On the way out, Quinn and I visited Mom's grave. There's a pretty headstone, with her name, and dates carved on a releif of a book! You guys know how much Mom read...I'm sure she would have loved that.
ok, so what else...ummmm...Ace called me on the way home...the reception cut out...yeah, that's pretty much it. bah! le boring. Ok, well, my fingers are frozen solid, and there's coffee, and Courtney waiting for me upstairs, so I shall be off. I bid you adieu! VIVA LA PINTO!!!
I just came back for Easter weekend with the folks. It was...well, it was Easter weekend with the folks. *shrug* Played a lot of cards, ate some real meals (you kn0w, cooked. in a real live oven! I was livin in the lap of luxury this weekend!), and went to the beach. I collected lots of pretty stones at the beach and slipped on a rock, and gashed my palm on a barnacle. Quinn got a lovely shot of my ass covered in sea slime! *eye rolling*
I bought Quinn Easter goodies, cause I figured he probably hadn't gotten a basket in a long time, being you know-- a PARENT-- way out in Ontario all these years. He enjoyed that. I think my grandparents figure I'm too old for a basket now, cause come Easter morning there were no choclates for me. bummer. What a gip! I could have been at Brianna's, and gotten chocolate,m and a f***in good time for Easter instead of being at that stultifying family function, being driven nutters by those devilspawn of children my sister grew. Yeah that's right. They werre GROWN. Like weeds. :P
Other than that, I did a whole lot of nuthin. On the way out, Quinn and I visited Mom's grave. There's a pretty headstone, with her name, and dates carved on a releif of a book! You guys know how much Mom read...I'm sure she would have loved that.
ok, so what else...ummmm...Ace called me on the way home...the reception cut out...yeah, that's pretty much it. bah! le boring. Ok, well, my fingers are frozen solid, and there's coffee, and Courtney waiting for me upstairs, so I shall be off. I bid you adieu! VIVA LA PINTO!!!
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
O. M. G.
ok, sometimes I like to reread way old posts of mine to see how ridiculously different I am now. So I was just doing that (specifically trying to find the exact amount of time I went without sex the longest; I know I blogged about it. I blog about everything), and I came upon the funniest thing I think I have ever ever seen! A post that I wrote when I was baked out of my mind! This was from two summers ago. Remember my weekend of badness, with Foo Dobson, Brianna, and Laura, and Kevin? Well, the first night, I shared a 2-6 of gin with Foo, and got high with him and his friend Rod, and ended up making out with Foo (embarrassing). The second night, I was at Kevin's, and Paddy Barry gave me a ride home, but not before stopping at his place to smoke a few bowls of weed. This post is from that night. (I can't remember exactly when but a little while after this weekend I had my very first fling ever, with Pumpkin Face!) It has been edited with expalanations of what I think I must have meant in green.
gotta finish this post before this stuff wears off
I regret to inform you, that I am currently stoned. Silly Kevin and Foo, you should have known better than to send me off with Paddy! and his ohh-so-West Coast, pot-smoking ways... (take that, Mr. Lt. David of the I don't know where British Columbia is kind Chin!) this is a guy I met in Virginia at my big bro's wedding. he didn't know where BC was. Silly Americans. second time in two days. I'm a pathetic human being with no will power, and a desire to get away from my horrid expectations of myself. *But is weed the answer children? survey says: yes.* I take no responsibility for this post, I thought it was funny when I wrote it. I want all who read this blog to be happy and laughing while they read my blog so that they like, it and keep coming back for more. (wow that sentence got forgotten, and it took me like a full minute to retrieve it from the depths of my brain; it's kind of liking losing luggage to the airports (Nazis), and then having to wait a year or more, and give up on it, and then get it mailed to you, after you've bought your men's shaving cream, and Braun face razor, and new pairs of jocky shorts, which is the same amount of annoyance on the annoyance scale.) (wow, that mosquito was enormous! made it easy to swat, though. Their getting ginormous in Canada! (*putting on astonished rancher-girl voice*) quick Cletis, get the gun, the parasitic aliens have already taken the mosquitos, and are ready to start their transfer to the human race through the cardio vascular system!) (that was a muscle, not a system) (yikes, that entire previous paragraph was read in my mind in a horrified Aunt-May-from-Spiderman-but thirty-five years earlier, offended voice) look at all the parentheses! lol! All this stuff is nothing but excerpts from all the thoughts I'm making, except for the editorial, boring ones (you know like that's missing a pee, (P) that's supposed to have a cue, (Q) this is a better word. (shiz-nitch) you don't need to knw about that.) However, obviously I am babbling, and as such a babbler, I am physically obligated (by my sever lack of control, or judgment systems as made inebriated by the substance I have been smoking) to tell anyone anything about me...like Paddy asked if I was good at blow jobs (though in not so many words), and I was like fuck you (i don't think I said that, but I was sober enough then (a little) to be able to kind of mutter it away). but that's a rare case, usually, I'm like, I blab all. stupid pot. Every few seconds, I just keep going off on tangents then losing my thought train (plenty good room on the glory train, there's a ...) (choir song; talk of trains made me start singing it aloud, and then type it down) and it's frusterating. hmmm. deep breaths. I wonder if the neighbors next door can tap into my computer screen using secret government hack softwear for spying? that would suck, cause they might be able to pull up my recieved files folder or something and--ooh--know what I've been talking about. tricksy hobbits. you think ghosts or spirits can move the physical elemental molocules around in a way similar to the god-like capacity to create to create something like a birth of a monster? what if he (the ghost in question) hated pot smokers, and burned 'em all up with his super-mollecular powers cause he was a ghost and could? he'd be so antisocial! (that cracked me up!) (cracked me up hardcore! both then in my inebriated state, and now!)I hope you all laugh when you read this. cause maybe if you're laughing and having fun you won't be so condemning of me having the same fun you are having. That = no getting hurt. I miss my Capricorn bracelet. wait, that was a necklace. w/e. he (Geoff) hates me, I suppose I hate him now. Although I would hate to have to hate the memories. There'r some good ones. I wonder how embarrassed I'm going to betomorroow? cause this is pretty uncensored, basically all that's going into my head is poo-fing right out of my mouth and onto paper. (but I'm not talking! ooh! talented!) does that make me honest or does that make me cheap? you tell me. cause then I won't have to be the one who has to intuit what every one has said for everyone else. (yeah...I don't even know what I meant by that...)I'm making some major psychological breakthroughs here in my head, but everytime I formulate my plan to put it down on paper, it eludes me! Like for instance: what was I just thinking about? something about me--NO! me getting psychologically less--dependent? no. guilty? no...what was that? nope, can't remember by rereading the text. if I were speaking I would probably be slurring. The problem is I keep making thoughts to fast for fingers to write, then I lose them cause I'm onto another thought, and my hands are screaming "mayday, mayday, we have to make sure all this info is getting out to all your readers out there in blogland! they need to know! (Brianna-like wail) They need to KNOOOOOWWWW!" (this must be said in a Charleton Heston-like manner--because I say so) their the captains of the ship, and they're going dooooooo oooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooown... I hope you appreciate the effort, cause my BACK is achin! *limps off to Electric Lettuce* what's that? electric lettuce you say? why there? because that's where I should go cause I SMOKE POT! AND IT'S A FRIENDLY ENVIROMENT! I love stoners. It's like a jail for stoners, albeit an amusing one. --**referring to the previous topic** back is on fire. Sherayna is gone to bed. ok, wtf? what is she planning? shit, I'm going to die in my bed tonight. I should go to bed, but I DON'T wanna. I can't wait to have comments. Though everyone is going to be disappointed in me. Jeepers. What do I have, a posse ful of parents? shitty end of the stick here, who's taking? (I can't believe I laughed at that--even stoned, that's pathetic) my laughs smell like pot. I'm such a pot head. Foo might not think so, but he knows I haven't done pot much. Shit man, I need AA. and the one for marijuana. I thought I heard the sound of a police radio announcer talking on my way home w/ Paddy, but really it was his car stereo. it freaked me out. I thought I was psychic, and there were cops on our tail cause we were fucking stoners. But it wqas just my influenced influenced imagination, which could be a message from my subconcious about the psychological breakthroughs (hey! this is what I was thinking earlier!) I'm having in my high. My psychological breakthroughs are that-fuckk where'd it go. I was trying to retrieve that thought for a full ahlf an hour! I'm a fucking blond dog! (I'm referring to Golden labrador retrievers here; obscure reference, I know) --my psychological breakthroughs are: that I am...wait, it's coming...(hey it's like an orgasm, but wait if that's true, then it means the thought will never come, because I never...you get the idea) (I hoope Laura laughs at this)...ok. that I am...stoned for sure (that's sounds so badly simpleton). there are more things that I am that aren't positive...something that is related to: SHIT! I totally had it, too! fucking thoughts. paranoid!!! for one thing! that was part of it, I am paranoid. For what? well cause I'm ego centric for one thing, but that wasn't the important thing....what was te important thing (you know if I do this much soul-searchin while I'm supposed to be out getting stoned (read: having illegal illegal fun with drugs and alchohol) (hey, I just ried to spell stoned and got the middle three letters wrong!) fuck, another one got forgotten. and I really wanted to tell you that one too, cause it was cool, you would ahve liked it--OH YEAH! fuck it's gone again. OH YEAH! that I...should live along(I think I may have meant 'alone' by 'along'), I think? no, no it was something else related to you guys enjoying my blog or soemthing. not too sure, wow am I needy, it had something to do with that do, wow this sentence is turning into a big old witches brew for concepts. I'm probably lying about a few of these things to you cause I'm stoned. I am going to PASS OUT at this computer, I'm so fucked u[p. OH YEAH! cause it's good to have you guys, (read: my blog of lonliness) so that I can have a private place to make me feel like I'm safe and that nobody is reading this, but am really not so I can express my self, and only feel a little mortified about it that usual. I don't like telling epopelt (people) hingsa (things) bout (about) me cause I'm...paranoid. and stoned... I keep thinkiing my desk is wider than it--oh yeahh! SHIT! gone again--OH YEAH! FUCK IT KEEPS GETTING LOST INT THE AMOUNT OF TIME IT TAKES TO TYPE OH YEAH! SOMETHING...ME WHINING AND YOU NOT CARE? NO..UM...YOU NOT REAL?(L. O. Fucking L.!!!) MAYBE THAT WAS IT. THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR! fuckin caps lock. owie back... \sooooooooo random, radnom blog of random blogness. random random random, Angie, should likeit she's always saying how she likes random stuff. But she probably disapproves, cause everybody disapproves but Foo and Paddy. Even "Rod" disapproved I think cause it was me, and maybe he's heard something from asshole Chris Read. asshole asshole. wish I had Laura and Gareth here to carry me around like the cast party (cast party of mime and commedia dell'arte; my second time getting drunk ever, and Gator, and Ty had to carry me around--hey Laura! "Gravity goes that way!" lol!!!) . even though I know it was Ty carrying me around then. but right now I want Gareth. and Laura. they're going to disapprove... i like this post...it's even more honest that I usually am, and I'm sure some of you would like that...and some of you will hate me. I really hope the religious ones don't start to hate me. cause I'm just mistaking by sinning, both are fixeable. An anyway, no babies yet, (and I digress into the realm of pregnancy; *shrugs*) and no unprotected sex =ing STD yucky yucky herpes. play the D note, Giles. her-pes her-pes her-res her-pes her-pes. (this was something me and Collective used to do when we learned songs, just cause it was childishly amusing; sing 'herpes' over and over on a D above middle C) I really hope Laura laughs at this stuff, cause she's the only what about whom I'm positive that they'll laugh when they read this and not be angry. My foot is cold. Still taste like pot. or maybe that coldness is a bite from a parasitic alien-ridden mosquito, and that's just my DNA breaking down in my foot, and becoming the aliens??? fuck I'm wasted. (I spent quite a bit of time right here just staring at the computer screen, I think...)weaRING OFF NOW. I can hear country music in my head. stuff my grampa listens to. I'm fucking basted. haha! mixed too synonyms with stoned into a new word! I need an urban dictionary. wow I am obnoxiously unsober. thank good ness MoM strong sleeper. wearing off more. slightly more coherent. maybe I've finally gone insane. (I began to sing this song aloud; it's In The Still of the Night, a song from choir) In the still of the night. I held you. Held you tight. Oh I love. Love you so. Promise I'll never let you go. In the still of the night. (and now I randomly meld it into Sincerely, a song I sang with the Collective) ooooh-ooooh-oooooooh, woop woopwwooooo oooh, bee oooh, Sincerely. oh I know how you love me (haha) cause I love you so dearly. oh whoa whoa please say....you'll be mine like a freaky oldies record playing out to the rest of my life. good records that I like. I can hear Sincerely, but as me and Brianna and Laura singing it but recorded in nineteen forty four. I can't fall asleep other wise I'll die./ If I fall asleep, either the al;iens will steal my body and take it over like Prom Night 2, Hello Mary Lou, oooorrr the drugs will cause me to have a heart attack and die, thus fucking shit up. for the past like three hours, my attention has been superglued to this key board, not even to the screen. it's like the keyboard is my life line, my key to all thigs physical and this life, giving me glorious words of creation. (ok, so that was funny) fuckin shitty deal! I have to sign out of Sherayna's msn,a nd then LOG into my own, adn she's already online, and she's an internet slob,(I must say, I quite enjoy the phrase, 'internet slob'; go stoned me!) and it's a big hassle to have to dot hat everytime you change computer users. too much work. I wonder if this post is as long yet as my (Virginia) trip post? can find character counts in fULL pERSONALLITY PROFILE, I BELIEVE. fuck, caps lock rememeber this: http://www.ratemyteachers.ca/ it's a link Amanda sent me and I should look at it, adn she's talking to me. rememeber it. too baked to do it noooooowww. I can't spell. fucking stoned. no longer positive of immentent possession and or takeover. (so paranoid, when baked; *shakes head*)yeah fuck, now I'm afraid that this is being cause d by the aliens. cause that presents an element of the unknown, and ghosts pose more of a similiar, I-can-read-about-your-kind-in-a-textbook-somewherw kinda way, and Aliens are entirely unknown, making them scarier. I wanna post now, buh bye. beebur. brianna. banana. bbebur bananabriannablack. goodnight night.
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I adore myself sometimes! That was a fun night, and I love that I have this ridiculous post to remind myself of it! I didn't know I could get that introsepctive when I was stoned...? And fuck--LOL!--"[my thought] keeps getting forgotten in the time it takes to type OH YEAH!!!!"--that is SO FREAKIN FUNNY!!! Like I said, sometimes, I really do love myself!
'...but then I started dating Ace'
(lol, jk!)
today...
i wore: khaki jeans, a blue t-shirt, and a blue hoodie. and GRANNY PANTIES! Operation Keep Alleah Celibate, proceeding as planned.
i ate: LOTS of coffee, a glorious hot dog man jumbo smokie, a quiche that Danielle made, and Sidekicks. Very very badly made Sidekicks.
i did: go to school (for once) and watched the opening matinee of Woyzeck. Good job, all! Then had my year-end meeting with the program directors at Mal. They suggested therapy so I can get the fuck over my mummy dying (my words, not their's). I agree. Then some hanging of the out with my bro, and all his friends. I have a feeling one of his newer friends may have a thing for me...weird.
i like: feeling hopeful again
i dislike: notalot. the discouraging empty calendar space of the upcoming summer
brag moment: when the big bro's new friend Ryan totally ignored Quinn, AND Donnie, who he'd ostensibly come to see, just to talk to me about Fords compared to Chevy's!
cringe moment: everything I felt leading up to my interview. I felt for sure that they were going to kick me out for being such a bad student! :(
granola moment: wiping the counter clean of coffee-y muck. I felt like such a housewife, in a partly fascinating, partly icky way.
i plan to: go to bed. REAL soon.
gotta finish this post before this stuff wears off
I regret to inform you, that I am currently stoned. Silly Kevin and Foo, you should have known better than to send me off with Paddy! and his ohh-so-West Coast, pot-smoking ways... (take that, Mr. Lt. David of the I don't know where British Columbia is kind Chin!) this is a guy I met in Virginia at my big bro's wedding. he didn't know where BC was. Silly Americans. second time in two days. I'm a pathetic human being with no will power, and a desire to get away from my horrid expectations of myself. *But is weed the answer children? survey says: yes.* I take no responsibility for this post, I thought it was funny when I wrote it. I want all who read this blog to be happy and laughing while they read my blog so that they like, it and keep coming back for more. (wow that sentence got forgotten, and it took me like a full minute to retrieve it from the depths of my brain; it's kind of liking losing luggage to the airports (Nazis), and then having to wait a year or more, and give up on it, and then get it mailed to you, after you've bought your men's shaving cream, and Braun face razor, and new pairs of jocky shorts, which is the same amount of annoyance on the annoyance scale.) (wow, that mosquito was enormous! made it easy to swat, though. Their getting ginormous in Canada! (*putting on astonished rancher-girl voice*) quick Cletis, get the gun, the parasitic aliens have already taken the mosquitos, and are ready to start their transfer to the human race through the cardio vascular system!) (that was a muscle, not a system) (yikes, that entire previous paragraph was read in my mind in a horrified Aunt-May-from-Spiderman-but thirty-five years earlier, offended voice) look at all the parentheses! lol! All this stuff is nothing but excerpts from all the thoughts I'm making, except for the editorial, boring ones (you know like that's missing a pee, (P) that's supposed to have a cue, (Q) this is a better word. (shiz-nitch) you don't need to knw about that.) However, obviously I am babbling, and as such a babbler, I am physically obligated (by my sever lack of control, or judgment systems as made inebriated by the substance I have been smoking) to tell anyone anything about me...like Paddy asked if I was good at blow jobs (though in not so many words), and I was like fuck you (i don't think I said that, but I was sober enough then (a little) to be able to kind of mutter it away). but that's a rare case, usually, I'm like, I blab all. stupid pot. Every few seconds, I just keep going off on tangents then losing my thought train (plenty good room on the glory train, there's a ...) (choir song; talk of trains made me start singing it aloud, and then type it down) and it's frusterating. hmmm. deep breaths. I wonder if the neighbors next door can tap into my computer screen using secret government hack softwear for spying? that would suck, cause they might be able to pull up my recieved files folder or something and--ooh--know what I've been talking about. tricksy hobbits. you think ghosts or spirits can move the physical elemental molocules around in a way similar to the god-like capacity to create to create something like a birth of a monster? what if he (the ghost in question) hated pot smokers, and burned 'em all up with his super-mollecular powers cause he was a ghost and could? he'd be so antisocial! (that cracked me up!) (cracked me up hardcore! both then in my inebriated state, and now!)I hope you all laugh when you read this. cause maybe if you're laughing and having fun you won't be so condemning of me having the same fun you are having. That = no getting hurt. I miss my Capricorn bracelet. wait, that was a necklace. w/e. he (Geoff) hates me, I suppose I hate him now. Although I would hate to have to hate the memories. There'r some good ones. I wonder how embarrassed I'm going to betomorroow? cause this is pretty uncensored, basically all that's going into my head is poo-fing right out of my mouth and onto paper. (but I'm not talking! ooh! talented!) does that make me honest or does that make me cheap? you tell me. cause then I won't have to be the one who has to intuit what every one has said for everyone else. (yeah...I don't even know what I meant by that...)I'm making some major psychological breakthroughs here in my head, but everytime I formulate my plan to put it down on paper, it eludes me! Like for instance: what was I just thinking about? something about me--NO! me getting psychologically less--dependent? no. guilty? no...what was that? nope, can't remember by rereading the text. if I were speaking I would probably be slurring. The problem is I keep making thoughts to fast for fingers to write, then I lose them cause I'm onto another thought, and my hands are screaming "mayday, mayday, we have to make sure all this info is getting out to all your readers out there in blogland! they need to know! (Brianna-like wail) They need to KNOOOOOWWWW!" (this must be said in a Charleton Heston-like manner--because I say so) their the captains of the ship, and they're going dooooooo oooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooown... I hope you appreciate the effort, cause my BACK is achin! *limps off to Electric Lettuce* what's that? electric lettuce you say? why there? because that's where I should go cause I SMOKE POT! AND IT'S A FRIENDLY ENVIROMENT! I love stoners. It's like a jail for stoners, albeit an amusing one. --**referring to the previous topic** back is on fire. Sherayna is gone to bed. ok, wtf? what is she planning? shit, I'm going to die in my bed tonight. I should go to bed, but I DON'T wanna. I can't wait to have comments. Though everyone is going to be disappointed in me. Jeepers. What do I have, a posse ful of parents? shitty end of the stick here, who's taking? (I can't believe I laughed at that--even stoned, that's pathetic) my laughs smell like pot. I'm such a pot head. Foo might not think so, but he knows I haven't done pot much. Shit man, I need AA. and the one for marijuana. I thought I heard the sound of a police radio announcer talking on my way home w/ Paddy, but really it was his car stereo. it freaked me out. I thought I was psychic, and there were cops on our tail cause we were fucking stoners. But it wqas just my influenced influenced imagination, which could be a message from my subconcious about the psychological breakthroughs (hey! this is what I was thinking earlier!) I'm having in my high. My psychological breakthroughs are that-fuckk where'd it go. I was trying to retrieve that thought for a full ahlf an hour! I'm a fucking blond dog! (I'm referring to Golden labrador retrievers here; obscure reference, I know) --my psychological breakthroughs are: that I am...wait, it's coming...(hey it's like an orgasm, but wait if that's true, then it means the thought will never come, because I never...you get the idea) (I hoope Laura laughs at this)...ok. that I am...stoned for sure (that's sounds so badly simpleton). there are more things that I am that aren't positive...something that is related to: SHIT! I totally had it, too! fucking thoughts. paranoid!!! for one thing! that was part of it, I am paranoid. For what? well cause I'm ego centric for one thing, but that wasn't the important thing....what was te important thing (you know if I do this much soul-searchin while I'm supposed to be out getting stoned (read: having illegal illegal fun with drugs and alchohol) (hey, I just ried to spell stoned and got the middle three letters wrong!) fuck, another one got forgotten. and I really wanted to tell you that one too, cause it was cool, you would ahve liked it--OH YEAH! fuck it's gone again. OH YEAH! that I...should live along(I think I may have meant 'alone' by 'along'), I think? no, no it was something else related to you guys enjoying my blog or soemthing. not too sure, wow am I needy, it had something to do with that do, wow this sentence is turning into a big old witches brew for concepts. I'm probably lying about a few of these things to you cause I'm stoned. I am going to PASS OUT at this computer, I'm so fucked u[p. OH YEAH! cause it's good to have you guys, (read: my blog of lonliness) so that I can have a private place to make me feel like I'm safe and that nobody is reading this, but am really not so I can express my self, and only feel a little mortified about it that usual. I don't like telling epopelt (people) hingsa (things) bout (about) me cause I'm...paranoid. and stoned... I keep thinkiing my desk is wider than it--oh yeahh! SHIT! gone again--OH YEAH! FUCK IT KEEPS GETTING LOST INT THE AMOUNT OF TIME IT TAKES TO TYPE OH YEAH! SOMETHING...ME WHINING AND YOU NOT CARE? NO..UM...YOU NOT REAL?(L. O. Fucking L.!!!) MAYBE THAT WAS IT. THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR! fuckin caps lock. owie back... \sooooooooo random, radnom blog of random blogness. random random random, Angie, should likeit she's always saying how she likes random stuff. But she probably disapproves, cause everybody disapproves but Foo and Paddy. Even "Rod" disapproved I think cause it was me, and maybe he's heard something from asshole Chris Read. asshole asshole. wish I had Laura and Gareth here to carry me around like the cast party (cast party of mime and commedia dell'arte; my second time getting drunk ever, and Gator, and Ty had to carry me around--hey Laura! "Gravity goes that way!" lol!!!) . even though I know it was Ty carrying me around then. but right now I want Gareth. and Laura. they're going to disapprove... i like this post...it's even more honest that I usually am, and I'm sure some of you would like that...and some of you will hate me. I really hope the religious ones don't start to hate me. cause I'm just mistaking by sinning, both are fixeable. An anyway, no babies yet, (and I digress into the realm of pregnancy; *shrugs*) and no unprotected sex =ing STD yucky yucky herpes. play the D note, Giles. her-pes her-pes her-res her-pes her-pes. (this was something me and Collective used to do when we learned songs, just cause it was childishly amusing; sing 'herpes' over and over on a D above middle C) I really hope Laura laughs at this stuff, cause she's the only what about whom I'm positive that they'll laugh when they read this and not be angry. My foot is cold. Still taste like pot. or maybe that coldness is a bite from a parasitic alien-ridden mosquito, and that's just my DNA breaking down in my foot, and becoming the aliens??? fuck I'm wasted. (I spent quite a bit of time right here just staring at the computer screen, I think...)weaRING OFF NOW. I can hear country music in my head. stuff my grampa listens to. I'm fucking basted. haha! mixed too synonyms with stoned into a new word! I need an urban dictionary. wow I am obnoxiously unsober. thank good ness MoM strong sleeper. wearing off more. slightly more coherent. maybe I've finally gone insane. (I began to sing this song aloud; it's In The Still of the Night, a song from choir) In the still of the night. I held you. Held you tight. Oh I love. Love you so. Promise I'll never let you go. In the still of the night. (and now I randomly meld it into Sincerely, a song I sang with the Collective) ooooh-ooooh-oooooooh, woop woopwwooooo oooh, bee oooh, Sincerely. oh I know how you love me (haha) cause I love you so dearly. oh whoa whoa please say....you'll be mine like a freaky oldies record playing out to the rest of my life. good records that I like. I can hear Sincerely, but as me and Brianna and Laura singing it but recorded in nineteen forty four. I can't fall asleep other wise I'll die./ If I fall asleep, either the al;iens will steal my body and take it over like Prom Night 2, Hello Mary Lou, oooorrr the drugs will cause me to have a heart attack and die, thus fucking shit up. for the past like three hours, my attention has been superglued to this key board, not even to the screen. it's like the keyboard is my life line, my key to all thigs physical and this life, giving me glorious words of creation. (ok, so that was funny) fuckin shitty deal! I have to sign out of Sherayna's msn,a nd then LOG into my own, adn she's already online, and she's an internet slob,(I must say, I quite enjoy the phrase, 'internet slob'; go stoned me!) and it's a big hassle to have to dot hat everytime you change computer users. too much work. I wonder if this post is as long yet as my (Virginia) trip post? can find character counts in fULL pERSONALLITY PROFILE, I BELIEVE. fuck, caps lock rememeber this: http://www.ratemyteachers.ca/ it's a link Amanda sent me and I should look at it, adn she's talking to me. rememeber it. too baked to do it noooooowww. I can't spell. fucking stoned. no longer positive of immentent possession and or takeover. (so paranoid, when baked; *shakes head*)yeah fuck, now I'm afraid that this is being cause d by the aliens. cause that presents an element of the unknown, and ghosts pose more of a similiar, I-can-read-about-your-kind-in-a-textbook-somewherw kinda way, and Aliens are entirely unknown, making them scarier. I wanna post now, buh bye. beebur. brianna. banana. bbebur bananabriannablack. goodnight night.
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I adore myself sometimes! That was a fun night, and I love that I have this ridiculous post to remind myself of it! I didn't know I could get that introsepctive when I was stoned...? And fuck--LOL!--"[my thought] keeps getting forgotten in the time it takes to type OH YEAH!!!!"--that is SO FREAKIN FUNNY!!! Like I said, sometimes, I really do love myself!
'...but then I started dating Ace'
(lol, jk!)
today...
i wore: khaki jeans, a blue t-shirt, and a blue hoodie. and GRANNY PANTIES! Operation Keep Alleah Celibate, proceeding as planned.
i ate: LOTS of coffee, a glorious hot dog man jumbo smokie, a quiche that Danielle made, and Sidekicks. Very very badly made Sidekicks.
i did: go to school (for once) and watched the opening matinee of Woyzeck. Good job, all! Then had my year-end meeting with the program directors at Mal. They suggested therapy so I can get the fuck over my mummy dying (my words, not their's). I agree. Then some hanging of the out with my bro, and all his friends. I have a feeling one of his newer friends may have a thing for me...weird.
i like: feeling hopeful again
i dislike: notalot. the discouraging empty calendar space of the upcoming summer
brag moment: when the big bro's new friend Ryan totally ignored Quinn, AND Donnie, who he'd ostensibly come to see, just to talk to me about Fords compared to Chevy's!
cringe moment: everything I felt leading up to my interview. I felt for sure that they were going to kick me out for being such a bad student! :(
granola moment: wiping the counter clean of coffee-y muck. I felt like such a housewife, in a partly fascinating, partly icky way.
i plan to: go to bed. REAL soon.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
what a la-a-a-a-azy day
the only thing of any importance that has happened today is that one of the places where I dropped off a resume at called me for an interview!!! It's with Sushi Eh, a Japanese restaurant on Tuesday! w00t!
Saturday, April 08, 2006
dog-washing, sword-fighting, wood-splitting adventure!
So, this is my weekend of NOT drinking with Mals and doing stupid things I regret. Instead I went to a lame-ass philosophy/sophistry party (anyone see a pattern developing?), then got drunk with my bro, sis, and Courtney + Brianna, which involved lots of shout-singing, and crazy drunk mosh-dancing, and kind of getting shunned from my bro's room, cause they all wanted to go to bed, and me and Brianna were still partying hardy.
This morning, when me and Beebur finally woke up, nobody was around so we sat in my livving room bullshitting, and then found our sword-fighting sticks (I've been teaching Brianna how to fence so she'll have a head-start next year, during stage fighting class!) And then we sword-fought! Brianna picked it up quickly and by the end of our fun today, we were drilling ourselves on made-up sequences repetitively. It was awse!
Quinn came home, and started a fire, and wanted to have a cook-out. So we thought that was cool, until he buggered off with his friend Donnie under the guise of "getting hot dogs, and buns" to go to an autowreckers and search for a stupid part! Stupid boys, and their toys.
So me and Brianna had to keep the fire going until he and his stupid friend got back, which was THREE HOURS LATER, but we entertained ourselves by therapeutically chopping wood, and feeding the fire until it was a massive manly-man type blaze. We were proud of ourselves! :)
Finally they came back, and we gorged ourselves on hot dogs, and marshmallows. That was pretty cool. Then me and Beebur had to catch a bus, cause she had to be home by six. She has plans tonight. Instead, her mom called her on the way to the bus, so we just satby the side of the road, and made daisy chains until her mom came to pick us up. And then we went to go eat pizza. So me and Brianna and her mom sat and ate pizza and breadsticks, and discussed lots of important right-now topics, and had a blast.
Then I went home, where, Quinn was (surprise surprise) going out again, and asked me to tend the fire. So I chopped some more wood, and made a big ole blaze, and Quinn came home with Courtney. We were sitting around the fire bullshitting until Courtney had the bright idea of washing Tika (*eyes rolling*). So me and her went inside, and I changed into grubby clothes, and we washed the dog, and now everybody's upstairs chillaxin.
So that was my adventurous weekend thus far. I have nthing else to say unless you want me to go emo. Nobody does, so I won't. :D see how big my smile is? I have NO PROBLEMS whatsoever. Just don't get me drunk, cause I'll get all melancholy. :P That's no fun. And I'd rather be having adventures. Soo I just won't think about my problems until they go away. Sounds like a good plan.
This morning, when me and Beebur finally woke up, nobody was around so we sat in my livving room bullshitting, and then found our sword-fighting sticks (I've been teaching Brianna how to fence so she'll have a head-start next year, during stage fighting class!) And then we sword-fought! Brianna picked it up quickly and by the end of our fun today, we were drilling ourselves on made-up sequences repetitively. It was awse!
Quinn came home, and started a fire, and wanted to have a cook-out. So we thought that was cool, until he buggered off with his friend Donnie under the guise of "getting hot dogs, and buns" to go to an autowreckers and search for a stupid part! Stupid boys, and their toys.
So me and Brianna had to keep the fire going until he and his stupid friend got back, which was THREE HOURS LATER, but we entertained ourselves by therapeutically chopping wood, and feeding the fire until it was a massive manly-man type blaze. We were proud of ourselves! :)
Finally they came back, and we gorged ourselves on hot dogs, and marshmallows. That was pretty cool. Then me and Beebur had to catch a bus, cause she had to be home by six. She has plans tonight. Instead, her mom called her on the way to the bus, so we just satby the side of the road, and made daisy chains until her mom came to pick us up. And then we went to go eat pizza. So me and Brianna and her mom sat and ate pizza and breadsticks, and discussed lots of important right-now topics, and had a blast.
Then I went home, where, Quinn was (surprise surprise) going out again, and asked me to tend the fire. So I chopped some more wood, and made a big ole blaze, and Quinn came home with Courtney. We were sitting around the fire bullshitting until Courtney had the bright idea of washing Tika (*eyes rolling*). So me and her went inside, and I changed into grubby clothes, and we washed the dog, and now everybody's upstairs chillaxin.
So that was my adventurous weekend thus far. I have nthing else to say unless you want me to go emo. Nobody does, so I won't. :D see how big my smile is? I have NO PROBLEMS whatsoever. Just don't get me drunk, cause I'll get all melancholy. :P That's no fun. And I'd rather be having adventures. Soo I just won't think about my problems until they go away. Sounds like a good plan.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
but I am le tired
except I am le bored. Life is so blah rght now. No excitement. No short term goals. No boy, and a few friends who are excellent. Nothing to do. Nothing to immediately work towards. I hate it when life is like that. This summer is going to be soooooo boring. Nothing to do but work. I have to get a job. Blech.
Blech
Blech
Blech.
Blech
Blech
Blech.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Alleah's bloggeroonies
so I've been rediscovering excellent blogs of the past. Did you know that I am on no less than six different blogs? no kidding, folks. There's this one of course, the beloved Fun with Pinto.
Then there's this one, that I started for the Collective that we never ended up posting on. suck-ass! We should start that again...Laura! Where are you?
There is of course, The Failing Blog, our sex-ellent sexcapades (ha! just made that up!)
I used to have a secret blog of love with Sean, but I deleted that long ago. I have my boring work journal which I haven't posted on for years. And my super lame-ass Crucible journal which was aboutan english assignment, not the show we did at Mal. :P And last but certainly not least, I have the last one I just started whch is excellent, bt none of you get to see it yet. You have to wait until May. :)
So, AS THIS POST JUST DEMONSTRATED Y OBVIOUS BOREDOM, (oops, caps lock) I think I need to go to bed now.
VIVA LA PINTO!!!!
Then there's this one, that I started for the Collective that we never ended up posting on. suck-ass! We should start that again...Laura! Where are you?
There is of course, The Failing Blog, our sex-ellent sexcapades (ha! just made that up!)
I used to have a secret blog of love with Sean, but I deleted that long ago. I have my boring work journal which I haven't posted on for years. And my super lame-ass Crucible journal which was aboutan english assignment, not the show we did at Mal. :P And last but certainly not least, I have the last one I just started whch is excellent, bt none of you get to see it yet. You have to wait until May. :)
So, AS THIS POST JUST DEMONSTRATED Y OBVIOUS BOREDOM, (oops, caps lock) I think I need to go to bed now.
VIVA LA PINTO!!!!
Monday, April 03, 2006
remember when?
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.
When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you!
When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you!
Sunday, April 02, 2006
I concur with you, brethren!
I want to have a Bunny Rumble. We'll capture bunnies either from MalU (easier) or from my place (homegrown) and wait until a female is in heat, and then take two males and let them in a cage with her! We'll film all this shit, and send it to Ross for Art Wank '07!!! Come on dudes! We have a lot to learn as actors, and as HUMAN BEINGS from the status issues of mating rabbits. And you fucking know it!
Plus we can have a big ole party afterwards, and get wasted.
Bunny Rumble '06, FUCK YEAH!!!!!!
Plus we can have a big ole party afterwards, and get wasted.
Bunny Rumble '06, FUCK YEAH!!!!!!
Saturday, April 01, 2006
it's motherfuckin BOOZE time!
or futher-mockin, as the case may be. so, I toyed with entitling this post, Pit of Despair, because that happens to be where Homie P is chillin' right now, butI figured it would kind of be weird to be surfin, and find a page with the phrases Fun With Pinto, and Pit of Despair in quick succession.
Last night was the bonfire party of TERRIBLE DOOM. And I mean that in the most sincere way possible. I bought a mickey of Fireball which turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. Even sharing it with Ace, I somehow managed to down nine or ten (can't remember which) shots, two girly drinks, and a mixer and got more hamm3red than I've ever been. Like think crawling around on the ground wasted, with titties popping out and everything. The party itself was freakin awse, though. It was raining when everybody showed up, so we partied in the house for a bit, and cooked marshmallows on the stovetop. SalmonMan Rick made fondue (can't remember who hecame with, but I just met him last night) for me, and Brianna seriously beat the shit out of me for the entire first part of the night! First I flashed my elbows at her (she has this pycho hatred of elbows), and the punched me in the stomach so hard I fell on SaLMONmAN Rick, and couldn't breathe for a while. Then later, I was trying to switch the song on the CD player AWAY from Grease, and she wanted to switch it BACK to Grease, and finally she took me, and just chucked me against the wall, as hard as she could! I kind of ricoche-d, and somehow managed to save myself from falling on the floor, after tripping on shoes, and whatnot in the doorway! lol!
Finally the rain stopped and Quinn got the fire going! They all cooked weinies, and marshmallows, while me and Geoff and Cora went to go pick up Llowyn. So, I was wasted by then, had had two girly drinks and four shots. Spent sometime being obnoxious on the phone, which was sweet. So I totally kept injuring myself h-core the whole night! I am so COVERED in bruises. I fell down the stairs like seriously three or four times, and gouged two of my fingertips horriby on my ghetto-ass railing. They hurt superbad right now, cause I'm typing! I tripped in the driveway, and road-burned my hand pretty badly. I somehow managed NOT to fall in the fire, though I did break a chair that was right there by falling on it. This morning, when I was still drunk, I was jumping on Aden, and went to step off the bed, but I landed on his shoes (fucker) and I was still wearing heels, and my ankle twisted, and I fell right on my face/knee, and now my ankle and knee hurt like a bitch whenever I go down stairs! I am so fucked this morning.
Later in the night after the Fireball was gone and I was super super shitfaced, I started hanging out in the bathtub. Now I only have one bathroom in my house, so that kind of sucked for everyone else. I was in there at first, and Ace who was almost passing out came in to throw up. We started co-throwing up in the toilet, which was funny, and yet revolting. Then I went somewhere else, and came back, and fell into the tub, and took Jordan (I'm so sorry) with me. So we were chillaxin in the tub, and Brianna (who is also drunk by now after swearing to just hang out and watch everybody else get drunk;go fig!) comes in, and has to pee! So she's bitching away, and finally I just shut the shower curtain, and she's just drunk enough to pee! So now there's a post-it on my door that says PEE ANYWAYS! I'm leaving it up forever. Then like ten minutes later, Curtney comes in, and vetoes that ass, and I swear, if Jordan hadn't been there I would have passed out in the tub! There was no way I could have gotten myself outta there!
Anyways, long story short the party was really great. The badness starts when I went to bed. They kept trying to put me to bed, so that I wouldn't drink anymore, and I kept hassling them, by running away, and making them catch me! It was really great fun in my drunken stupor! Anyways, finally I decided on my on that I needed to crash. This was prolly about one thirty (*blush*). So Jordan tucks me in (sweetheart). Ace crashed a long time ago and has taken over my bed. Me being me, I don't give a crap who's IN my bed, it's my bed, and I'm going to sleep in it wether they like it or not! So I just tell Ace to move the fuck over and I go to bed. Cue badness.
I don't wanna talk about it, so Brianna is going to type this section.
So basically what went down was, its around five in the morning and a very drunk Alleah ( and Im talking smashed beyon recognition) and what im hoping was a very drunk Ace, ended up together in a bed. And you know how it is kids, one thing leads to another,and sooner or later....
So anyways, round sixish Alleah was getting up to see Llowyn off to the ferry (except he wasnt there) and said a good morning toJordan... who then ( oh it hurts to type) hit her away and said, I HEARD you! So.... generally not a good situation. Awkwardness abounds. Needless to say, no more Jordan and Alleah relationship. Poor poor Alleah is taking it all on her shoulders though, and while she WAS a terrible girlfriend :P does not need to be entirely to blameme. (Alleah: I'm leving this be! but it's supposed to be "blamed") And ALLEAH DONT BLAME YOURSELF FOR ANY PROBLEMS IN ACE AND MICHELLES RELATIONSHIP EITHER!!!
okay, im done here
Alleah: so that sucked. is still sucking. I have never done somethingI regretted so much. I can no long say I am a regretless Pinto, and I am so ashamed of that fact. Words seriously cannot describe how unbelievably ashamed and sorry I am. I seriously just lost three valued relationships in one fell swoop. All I can say to all three of you, is I am so sorry.
(I swear shall murder my neices and nephews! I hope they enjoyed their young lives, because they just stuck something in the microwave and set it on fire, and retribution shall be swift and merciless!)
So I called Ace after Jordan and I took a car ride and broke up extremely painfully, and him and Michelle are still together. So (surprise surprise), as if my life doesn't suck enough I have to shoulder the shame of this burden all by my little self. I've never hated myself more than right now. I had to get off the phone because I was crying so hard, and I spent an hour in my bedroom, with Brianna and Courtney talking about how I'm going to try to pick up the peices of my life.
I guess ths sounds kind of melodramatic considering all the actually bad stuff I've survived, but it IS actually the worst thing that's ever happened to me/I've ever done. I HATE hurting people, and I just hurt two of the people I care about the most, plus doing collateral damage on somebody I respect, like, and admire. That is so much worse than anything that could ever happen ever. My friends and boyfriend are the people I value the most in the world, and the fact that I did something that horrendous to them is s something I'll never forgive myself for.
So what me and Brianna and Courtney decided is that I need to be single for a really long time. I need to relearn how to be Alleah, not Alleah-and-so-and-so, the way I've been for the past three years. I've decided to really jump into my career. I don't know why I'm still at Mal, because it's not the place a serious actor really needs to be, so I'm going to look into transfer programs. Maybe to UBC, or Capilano, or UVic. I need to get out fo Nanaimo, and away from who I used to be, and I need to start getting serious about my career. I need an agent. I need to know about auditions and go to them. I need to stop smoking, and get a super-fab bod. (yes I did really just say that!) So instead of being in love with a boy, I'm going to focus on becoming the kind of person that boys will be in love with. And STAY in love with.
That is my goal for the next year. I am so sorry to all the people I've fucked over the years. If it makes you feel any better, karma's a bitch, and I'm now lying in the pit I dug for myself.
Last night was the bonfire party of TERRIBLE DOOM. And I mean that in the most sincere way possible. I bought a mickey of Fireball which turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. Even sharing it with Ace, I somehow managed to down nine or ten (can't remember which) shots, two girly drinks, and a mixer and got more hamm3red than I've ever been. Like think crawling around on the ground wasted, with titties popping out and everything. The party itself was freakin awse, though. It was raining when everybody showed up, so we partied in the house for a bit, and cooked marshmallows on the stovetop. SalmonMan Rick made fondue (can't remember who hecame with, but I just met him last night) for me, and Brianna seriously beat the shit out of me for the entire first part of the night! First I flashed my elbows at her (she has this pycho hatred of elbows), and the punched me in the stomach so hard I fell on SaLMONmAN Rick, and couldn't breathe for a while. Then later, I was trying to switch the song on the CD player AWAY from Grease, and she wanted to switch it BACK to Grease, and finally she took me, and just chucked me against the wall, as hard as she could! I kind of ricoche-d, and somehow managed to save myself from falling on the floor, after tripping on shoes, and whatnot in the doorway! lol!
Finally the rain stopped and Quinn got the fire going! They all cooked weinies, and marshmallows, while me and Geoff and Cora went to go pick up Llowyn. So, I was wasted by then, had had two girly drinks and four shots. Spent sometime being obnoxious on the phone, which was sweet. So I totally kept injuring myself h-core the whole night! I am so COVERED in bruises. I fell down the stairs like seriously three or four times, and gouged two of my fingertips horriby on my ghetto-ass railing. They hurt superbad right now, cause I'm typing! I tripped in the driveway, and road-burned my hand pretty badly. I somehow managed NOT to fall in the fire, though I did break a chair that was right there by falling on it. This morning, when I was still drunk, I was jumping on Aden, and went to step off the bed, but I landed on his shoes (fucker) and I was still wearing heels, and my ankle twisted, and I fell right on my face/knee, and now my ankle and knee hurt like a bitch whenever I go down stairs! I am so fucked this morning.
Later in the night after the Fireball was gone and I was super super shitfaced, I started hanging out in the bathtub. Now I only have one bathroom in my house, so that kind of sucked for everyone else. I was in there at first, and Ace who was almost passing out came in to throw up. We started co-throwing up in the toilet, which was funny, and yet revolting. Then I went somewhere else, and came back, and fell into the tub, and took Jordan (I'm so sorry) with me. So we were chillaxin in the tub, and Brianna (who is also drunk by now after swearing to just hang out and watch everybody else get drunk;go fig!) comes in, and has to pee! So she's bitching away, and finally I just shut the shower curtain, and she's just drunk enough to pee! So now there's a post-it on my door that says PEE ANYWAYS! I'm leaving it up forever. Then like ten minutes later, Curtney comes in, and vetoes that ass, and I swear, if Jordan hadn't been there I would have passed out in the tub! There was no way I could have gotten myself outta there!
Anyways, long story short the party was really great. The badness starts when I went to bed. They kept trying to put me to bed, so that I wouldn't drink anymore, and I kept hassling them, by running away, and making them catch me! It was really great fun in my drunken stupor! Anyways, finally I decided on my on that I needed to crash. This was prolly about one thirty (*blush*). So Jordan tucks me in (sweetheart). Ace crashed a long time ago and has taken over my bed. Me being me, I don't give a crap who's IN my bed, it's my bed, and I'm going to sleep in it wether they like it or not! So I just tell Ace to move the fuck over and I go to bed. Cue badness.
I don't wanna talk about it, so Brianna is going to type this section.
So basically what went down was, its around five in the morning and a very drunk Alleah ( and Im talking smashed beyon recognition) and what im hoping was a very drunk Ace, ended up together in a bed. And you know how it is kids, one thing leads to another,and sooner or later....
So anyways, round sixish Alleah was getting up to see Llowyn off to the ferry (except he wasnt there) and said a good morning toJordan... who then ( oh it hurts to type) hit her away and said, I HEARD you! So.... generally not a good situation. Awkwardness abounds. Needless to say, no more Jordan and Alleah relationship. Poor poor Alleah is taking it all on her shoulders though, and while she WAS a terrible girlfriend :P does not need to be entirely to blameme. (Alleah: I'm leving this be! but it's supposed to be "blamed") And ALLEAH DONT BLAME YOURSELF FOR ANY PROBLEMS IN ACE AND MICHELLES RELATIONSHIP EITHER!!!
okay, im done here
Alleah: so that sucked. is still sucking. I have never done somethingI regretted so much. I can no long say I am a regretless Pinto, and I am so ashamed of that fact. Words seriously cannot describe how unbelievably ashamed and sorry I am. I seriously just lost three valued relationships in one fell swoop. All I can say to all three of you, is I am so sorry.
(I swear shall murder my neices and nephews! I hope they enjoyed their young lives, because they just stuck something in the microwave and set it on fire, and retribution shall be swift and merciless!)
So I called Ace after Jordan and I took a car ride and broke up extremely painfully, and him and Michelle are still together. So (surprise surprise), as if my life doesn't suck enough I have to shoulder the shame of this burden all by my little self. I've never hated myself more than right now. I had to get off the phone because I was crying so hard, and I spent an hour in my bedroom, with Brianna and Courtney talking about how I'm going to try to pick up the peices of my life.
I guess ths sounds kind of melodramatic considering all the actually bad stuff I've survived, but it IS actually the worst thing that's ever happened to me/I've ever done. I HATE hurting people, and I just hurt two of the people I care about the most, plus doing collateral damage on somebody I respect, like, and admire. That is so much worse than anything that could ever happen ever. My friends and boyfriend are the people I value the most in the world, and the fact that I did something that horrendous to them is s something I'll never forgive myself for.
So what me and Brianna and Courtney decided is that I need to be single for a really long time. I need to relearn how to be Alleah, not Alleah-and-so-and-so, the way I've been for the past three years. I've decided to really jump into my career. I don't know why I'm still at Mal, because it's not the place a serious actor really needs to be, so I'm going to look into transfer programs. Maybe to UBC, or Capilano, or UVic. I need to get out fo Nanaimo, and away from who I used to be, and I need to start getting serious about my career. I need an agent. I need to know about auditions and go to them. I need to stop smoking, and get a super-fab bod. (yes I did really just say that!) So instead of being in love with a boy, I'm going to focus on becoming the kind of person that boys will be in love with. And STAY in love with.
That is my goal for the next year. I am so sorry to all the people I've fucked over the years. If it makes you feel any better, karma's a bitch, and I'm now lying in the pit I dug for myself.
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