*thinking thinking thinking thinking*
Ok, so here's my question. We all know that I am a Pinto, and we all know that I have been so named for the extraordinary Pinto-ness that my hair takes on when I have dyed it blond, and then not dyed it again for many months. We all know this.
But, Bloggers--am I a Pinto Horse, or a Pinto Bean???
Both have the two-toned qualities of Pinto for which I have been named. And I cannot think of any other qualities to link me to one, or the other...am I fat and lazy, just waiting to be eaten, content with it's lot on life, like a Pinto Bean? Or am I--well, horsey?
I cannot decide. One consideration is that, if I am to be named a Pinto Bean, I may be infringing on the realm of the green bean, and snap pea we all know and love, Amay and Bethany. I should hope not. The last time that happened, there was blood and pain and suffering as you cannot imagine.
Anyways, I want chocolate for breakfast. I am supposed to go to Sean's this morning, but I prolly won't. I need to walk my doggy dog. hmmm, I wonder if he would like to come?
I dunno, ttyl...comment your feedback on my dilemma.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
dry wall, and no heat for me
Yesterday was interesting and fun! I left school after one block. Went home, changed clothes into dirty-getting stuff, so I could go drywall with Sean and his Uncle Gene.
I didn't end up doing much. I'm small and weak, so mostly, I tried to stay out of the way, and I helped when I was needed. Basically, I played wifey and got them water and sandwiches. I also helped them hold up a sheet of drywall, cause the gyproc had broken, and they needed another person. I helped Gene measure a few times. And while they were putting up the last peice, I swept like a crazy mofo, and then vacuumed obsessive compulsively until the basement looked like there had never been drywall in there. Except for a couple white cloudy areas that I couldn't vacuum very well, cause the dust had congregated.
So now, Sean's basement needs to be taped and puttied, and then--WE GET TO PAINT!!! mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! I am looking forward to that, because it means then I get to start going interior design crazy-like, and that excites.
In other news, HAPPY TWO-YEAR COLLECTIVERSARY, Gator and Beebur!!! You get your gifts today--probably. I was supposed to run around and get all my gift stuff yesterday, but Sean took three hours longer than he said he would drywalling, and by the time they were finished, the stores would have been closed. Bully for me. I was a little perturbed at that, but it's not like it would have mattered. And Gator, I shall talk to you today, I can't call you, cause my phone sucks, remember? Actually, my life in general sucks. So, I shall talk to you in person. I assume this is about the dinner w/ your family and my family?
My only other peice of news is, my oldest friend, Amanda Taft is going through a really hard time right now. Her older stepbrother, Fred had been missing for over a month, and presumed dead. She didn't know who to talk to about it, so she emailed me, even though we haven't hung out almost at all for the past two years. His body was found last Thursday. He had jumped into the Cedar River to escape the police, who him and his friend were apparently running from. His friend survived. He didn't. It is terribly sad, because he left behind a baby boy, Cody, whom Amanda says is adorable. The funeral is on Monday, and if I don't have a exam, I'll be attending. I am completely unable to comprehend the reality of this. I mean, I was never particularly close to Fred, and neither was Amanda. I'm not grief-stricken, or anything, but--I don't know, he's DEAD. like, really completely, irrevocably dead. Everytime, I think too hard about it, and try to imagine his body, I just can't. I have to shake my head and think of something else. It's just so hard to understand. I mean, I'm not a stranger to this, or anything, I've had people close to me die before. But it's never been so hard to get straight in my head like this is. It's just so weird.
Anyways, I'm late for school, again, and I still don't know exactly what I'm giving the girls. I shall get right on that. goodbye.
I didn't end up doing much. I'm small and weak, so mostly, I tried to stay out of the way, and I helped when I was needed. Basically, I played wifey and got them water and sandwiches. I also helped them hold up a sheet of drywall, cause the gyproc had broken, and they needed another person. I helped Gene measure a few times. And while they were putting up the last peice, I swept like a crazy mofo, and then vacuumed obsessive compulsively until the basement looked like there had never been drywall in there. Except for a couple white cloudy areas that I couldn't vacuum very well, cause the dust had congregated.
So now, Sean's basement needs to be taped and puttied, and then--WE GET TO PAINT!!! mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! I am looking forward to that, because it means then I get to start going interior design crazy-like, and that excites.
In other news, HAPPY TWO-YEAR COLLECTIVERSARY, Gator and Beebur!!! You get your gifts today--probably. I was supposed to run around and get all my gift stuff yesterday, but Sean took three hours longer than he said he would drywalling, and by the time they were finished, the stores would have been closed. Bully for me. I was a little perturbed at that, but it's not like it would have mattered. And Gator, I shall talk to you today, I can't call you, cause my phone sucks, remember? Actually, my life in general sucks. So, I shall talk to you in person. I assume this is about the dinner w/ your family and my family?
My only other peice of news is, my oldest friend, Amanda Taft is going through a really hard time right now. Her older stepbrother, Fred had been missing for over a month, and presumed dead. She didn't know who to talk to about it, so she emailed me, even though we haven't hung out almost at all for the past two years. His body was found last Thursday. He had jumped into the Cedar River to escape the police, who him and his friend were apparently running from. His friend survived. He didn't. It is terribly sad, because he left behind a baby boy, Cody, whom Amanda says is adorable. The funeral is on Monday, and if I don't have a exam, I'll be attending. I am completely unable to comprehend the reality of this. I mean, I was never particularly close to Fred, and neither was Amanda. I'm not grief-stricken, or anything, but--I don't know, he's DEAD. like, really completely, irrevocably dead. Everytime, I think too hard about it, and try to imagine his body, I just can't. I have to shake my head and think of something else. It's just so hard to understand. I mean, I'm not a stranger to this, or anything, I've had people close to me die before. But it's never been so hard to get straight in my head like this is. It's just so weird.
Anyways, I'm late for school, again, and I still don't know exactly what I'm giving the girls. I shall get right on that. goodbye.
Monday, January 24, 2005
WHAT???
ok, so I know I have been neglecting blog duties of late, but is that any excuse to ignore recent posts??? I mean really people! Read! Comment! Let me know you're still there! rawr.
my coffee is extraordinarily yummy. which is weird cause I thought I put too much sugar in, but I didn't. So now it tastes like awesome!
Last night, the weirdest thing happened. I guess I had just started to fall asleep, when all of a sudden, my brain kind of SLAMMED into nightmare mode. What happened in my brain was almost like I kind of opened my eyes just a little bit, and I saw AN ENORMOUS SPIDER like half a foot from my head, dangling from a thread. And I freaked out, and jumped out of my bed, and ran out of my room, and turned the light on. Now, I only woke up by the time I was out my door, but I remembered the half-nightmare, so I wasn't sure if it was real or not. I was absolutely freaking out, like sweating, trembling, looking around in my room (even though I was blind cause my glasses weren't on), but, of course, there was no spider...
So, long story shport, I came downstairs, cause Mom heard me freaking out, and asked me what was wrong, and I was shaking so hard, that I couldn't even get the words out! I had to literally concentrate on every single word to get it out. It was pathetic.
Afterwards, Sherayna came up to my room, and searched it together for humongous spiders, and found none. I was still creeped out, so I took S.A.M. to bed with me. Who is S.A.M. you ask? Well, his initials are ment to represent the initials Sean Alexander Mantta! He is the teddy bear that Bonnie gave me for X-mas that is supposed to be be my Sean when the real Sean isn't there! Isn't that sweet?! So he did his duty and protected me all night long from bogeymen. However, his adorable shoes, and backpack, and PANTALOONS were just too awkward to sleep around, so I took them off. Yes that's right!!! I slept ALL NIGHT LONG with Sean's BEAR BUM right beside me!!! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! *shock and scandal* I left his hat on though. The modesty of the top of his head was protected.
oh! did I tell you??? Sean's dad finds things left behind in the motel all the time, and a little while ago he found this awesome pink fuzzy jacket! now given the fact that they live in a motel, and there are scandalous items found there often, such as pictures of girls who are topless, and the fact that prostitues and their johns rent rooms there sometimes, there is a very high probability that the jacket used to belong to a whore...that greatly amused Brianna and Laura when I told them! But w/e, I don't care, assumably, it's been washed, and de-liced, and un-grossed, so I think it's cool. However, now I get nervous when passing small prostitutes, thinking they may demand their jacket back...
(for all those people who DON'T know me, and have NO idea why I am talking about prostitutes and jackets...well lets just say, I live sandwiched between a good part of town, and a bad part of town. therefore, the livestock can swing to either persuasion: the good kind--or the bad kind)
anyways, this post is kind of incoherent, and I have to get dressed for school. I am sitting arouind in my scibbies and my whore jacket from Sean, with my coffee in one hand, and pretty ucky morning breath. I am, going to go employ the tongue brushing techniques, Sean told me about last night (oh how geeky!), and them sit around and contemplate just how nerdy I am. Sucks to be you guys reading my retarded morning posts of unintelligible doom. w/e, you forced me to do so, with your outrageous LACK OF COMMENTAGE! So lets remedy that situation, shall we?
goodbye
my coffee is extraordinarily yummy. which is weird cause I thought I put too much sugar in, but I didn't. So now it tastes like awesome!
Last night, the weirdest thing happened. I guess I had just started to fall asleep, when all of a sudden, my brain kind of SLAMMED into nightmare mode. What happened in my brain was almost like I kind of opened my eyes just a little bit, and I saw AN ENORMOUS SPIDER like half a foot from my head, dangling from a thread. And I freaked out, and jumped out of my bed, and ran out of my room, and turned the light on. Now, I only woke up by the time I was out my door, but I remembered the half-nightmare, so I wasn't sure if it was real or not. I was absolutely freaking out, like sweating, trembling, looking around in my room (even though I was blind cause my glasses weren't on), but, of course, there was no spider...
So, long story shport, I came downstairs, cause Mom heard me freaking out, and asked me what was wrong, and I was shaking so hard, that I couldn't even get the words out! I had to literally concentrate on every single word to get it out. It was pathetic.
Afterwards, Sherayna came up to my room, and searched it together for humongous spiders, and found none. I was still creeped out, so I took S.A.M. to bed with me. Who is S.A.M. you ask? Well, his initials are ment to represent the initials Sean Alexander Mantta! He is the teddy bear that Bonnie gave me for X-mas that is supposed to be be my Sean when the real Sean isn't there! Isn't that sweet?! So he did his duty and protected me all night long from bogeymen. However, his adorable shoes, and backpack, and PANTALOONS were just too awkward to sleep around, so I took them off. Yes that's right!!! I slept ALL NIGHT LONG with Sean's BEAR BUM right beside me!!! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! *shock and scandal* I left his hat on though. The modesty of the top of his head was protected.
oh! did I tell you??? Sean's dad finds things left behind in the motel all the time, and a little while ago he found this awesome pink fuzzy jacket! now given the fact that they live in a motel, and there are scandalous items found there often, such as pictures of girls who are topless, and the fact that prostitues and their johns rent rooms there sometimes, there is a very high probability that the jacket used to belong to a whore...that greatly amused Brianna and Laura when I told them! But w/e, I don't care, assumably, it's been washed, and de-liced, and un-grossed, so I think it's cool. However, now I get nervous when passing small prostitutes, thinking they may demand their jacket back...
(for all those people who DON'T know me, and have NO idea why I am talking about prostitutes and jackets...well lets just say, I live sandwiched between a good part of town, and a bad part of town. therefore, the livestock can swing to either persuasion: the good kind--or the bad kind)
anyways, this post is kind of incoherent, and I have to get dressed for school. I am sitting arouind in my scibbies and my whore jacket from Sean, with my coffee in one hand, and pretty ucky morning breath. I am, going to go employ the tongue brushing techniques, Sean told me about last night (oh how geeky!), and them sit around and contemplate just how nerdy I am. Sucks to be you guys reading my retarded morning posts of unintelligible doom. w/e, you forced me to do so, with your outrageous LACK OF COMMENTAGE! So lets remedy that situation, shall we?
goodbye
Saturday, January 22, 2005
painting and reading and lazing--oh my!
Today was spent esthetically ignoring every single bit of agenda I may have had. I was to do laundry--I painted a box, and one of the trays I got for X-mas. I was to practice for my audition tomorrow--I read a book about Titanic, and ate inordinate amounts of cheese. I was to clean my room--I...well, cleaned my room. And, if I may, it was fabulous!
I must say, though I adore my Sean more than he'll ever know, there are days that I just need to spend by myself. And I feel bad for saying that, knowing that he missed me today, but it's true. Above all, I DO NOT want this relationship to turn out like Geoff and have him hate me cause we never leave each other alone. I mean, look how well my family likes me and they're convinced that I'm never around! If I were constantly here, the way I am with Sean, or the way I was with Geoff...well the WORLD would hate me! You all have to admit, too much me is pretty difficult to handle.
In other news, I have been reading such blogs as Brianna's and have decided to prove my trend-whore-ness once again by ripping her off. These are the things I want out of life:
-to live out my life from now to death with one person. (even if that one "person" is a cat, and I talk to it, and feed it cheese gravy)
-to have a career that I love to do, which makes me a substantial amount of money.
-to have a home I can be proud of, at least in it's comfortability and beauty if not in it's magnificence.
-to do a good job of raising my children. I don't know how many, and I don't care if they end up filthy stinking rich, or working class, as long as they have a sense of humanity, morality, and empathy.
-to do something good for humanity. even if it's only as miniscule as sending money to reputable charities, I don't want to leave this world, having given nothing back.
-to be loved.
I think that that list is long enough. any longer, and fate might be tempted to slap me back down where I belong, because of my presumptions.
I must say, though I adore my Sean more than he'll ever know, there are days that I just need to spend by myself. And I feel bad for saying that, knowing that he missed me today, but it's true. Above all, I DO NOT want this relationship to turn out like Geoff and have him hate me cause we never leave each other alone. I mean, look how well my family likes me and they're convinced that I'm never around! If I were constantly here, the way I am with Sean, or the way I was with Geoff...well the WORLD would hate me! You all have to admit, too much me is pretty difficult to handle.
In other news, I have been reading such blogs as Brianna's and have decided to prove my trend-whore-ness once again by ripping her off. These are the things I want out of life:
-to live out my life from now to death with one person. (even if that one "person" is a cat, and I talk to it, and feed it cheese gravy)
-to have a career that I love to do, which makes me a substantial amount of money.
-to have a home I can be proud of, at least in it's comfortability and beauty if not in it's magnificence.
-to do a good job of raising my children. I don't know how many, and I don't care if they end up filthy stinking rich, or working class, as long as they have a sense of humanity, morality, and empathy.
-to do something good for humanity. even if it's only as miniscule as sending money to reputable charities, I don't want to leave this world, having given nothing back.
-to be loved.
I think that that list is long enough. any longer, and fate might be tempted to slap me back down where I belong, because of my presumptions.
Monday, January 17, 2005
me = geekburger
for starters, I am eating macaroni salad, and pickles. which I am sure are acceptable singularily. But together? This is a level of dorkability that I had never thought to attain.
But that's not all. no no. not all at all at all....! I am wearing yet another of Sean's sweaters which is so comfy and joyous inside, and you know how sometimes when you miss a person so badly, and you have something of there, and you wonder if maybe just maybe the fact that you can hold and touch that item of theirs, it kind of connects you on some kind of cosmic level...? yeah well, it's true. I am just that much of a loser.
But I have an excuse! I miss Sean. Which is truely sad, cause I saw him last night. But we are not to see each other until Thursday. We are taking off-days to avoid seeing too much of each other and getting sick of each other. We were going to have them on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, but then he changed Thursday to Wednesday. So there is this enormous, malicious, cruel chunk of time in which I am denied my Sean. Which brings me back to the food issue.
As I am clingy and needy and pathetic, I am eating insane combinations of food (such as macaroni salad and pickles) to give me comfort, in my time of need. *sigh* I wish I had my boy.
Yeah, in other news, my life is pretty boring. My house is literally colder than outside, which is crazy. However, we have recently acquired a spaceheater, compliments of Sean's Mom, and so it has been bouncing around the house warming people. Last night, I went to bed with it on, and this morning, I poked my little arm out of my covers...AND LEFT IT THERE!!!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!
However, unfortunately, there is one measly space heater and seven people it needs to warm, plus a slothful cat. (oh, my hot water...hang on.)
ok, make that pickles, macaroni salad, and instant Turtles cappacino. I bet Sean wishes he was here now!!!
Also, a couple days ago, on Friday, me and Sean went bowling, which was fun. Afterwards, we walked to his house, but not before I broke a three inch plate of ice with my face. Well, to be accurate, my forehead, and I have the lumps to prove it! Sean and I found all these huge flat chunks of ice that were like three inches think, and Sean picked one up and made some kind of Conan the Barbarian noise and broke it on the ground. This inspired me! Then he discovered a slick of ice on the ground and went off to slide on it. Meanwhile, I hatched an evil plan in my noggin. I picked a peice of ice up when Sean was ready to pay attention again, and mimiced his Conan noise, and then (I really have no idea why I did this, it wasn't thought out, or anything, I just thought of it--and did it. that quick!) and then I broke it over my head. Karate-style. Oh yeah, I'm h-core baby!!! Sean just stood there and laughed at me! And then...my head started to hurt! And I realized the error of my ways. *sigh* but it makes a good story now! lol!
Other than that, the only exciting thing of lately is, I learnt that I could write an email without a keyboard yesterday. It's called copy and past like a mad fool, and it BLOWS MONKEY INNARDS. It took me a half an hour to write an email that was two and a half lines long to Sean. Soemtimes I could copy and paste whole words, but more often than not, it was one, or two letters at a time. Tedious McCrappy.
So yeah, that's how exciting my life has been lately. And you guys wondered why I wasn't posting. Maybe cause the only thing interesting in my life right now is Sean, spoons and butter.
But that's not all. no no. not all at all at all....! I am wearing yet another of Sean's sweaters which is so comfy and joyous inside, and you know how sometimes when you miss a person so badly, and you have something of there, and you wonder if maybe just maybe the fact that you can hold and touch that item of theirs, it kind of connects you on some kind of cosmic level...? yeah well, it's true. I am just that much of a loser.
But I have an excuse! I miss Sean. Which is truely sad, cause I saw him last night. But we are not to see each other until Thursday. We are taking off-days to avoid seeing too much of each other and getting sick of each other. We were going to have them on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, but then he changed Thursday to Wednesday. So there is this enormous, malicious, cruel chunk of time in which I am denied my Sean. Which brings me back to the food issue.
As I am clingy and needy and pathetic, I am eating insane combinations of food (such as macaroni salad and pickles) to give me comfort, in my time of need. *sigh* I wish I had my boy.
Yeah, in other news, my life is pretty boring. My house is literally colder than outside, which is crazy. However, we have recently acquired a spaceheater, compliments of Sean's Mom, and so it has been bouncing around the house warming people. Last night, I went to bed with it on, and this morning, I poked my little arm out of my covers...AND LEFT IT THERE!!!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!
However, unfortunately, there is one measly space heater and seven people it needs to warm, plus a slothful cat. (oh, my hot water...hang on.)
ok, make that pickles, macaroni salad, and instant Turtles cappacino. I bet Sean wishes he was here now!!!
Also, a couple days ago, on Friday, me and Sean went bowling, which was fun. Afterwards, we walked to his house, but not before I broke a three inch plate of ice with my face. Well, to be accurate, my forehead, and I have the lumps to prove it! Sean and I found all these huge flat chunks of ice that were like three inches think, and Sean picked one up and made some kind of Conan the Barbarian noise and broke it on the ground. This inspired me! Then he discovered a slick of ice on the ground and went off to slide on it. Meanwhile, I hatched an evil plan in my noggin. I picked a peice of ice up when Sean was ready to pay attention again, and mimiced his Conan noise, and then (I really have no idea why I did this, it wasn't thought out, or anything, I just thought of it--and did it. that quick!) and then I broke it over my head. Karate-style. Oh yeah, I'm h-core baby!!! Sean just stood there and laughed at me! And then...my head started to hurt! And I realized the error of my ways. *sigh* but it makes a good story now! lol!
Other than that, the only exciting thing of lately is, I learnt that I could write an email without a keyboard yesterday. It's called copy and past like a mad fool, and it BLOWS MONKEY INNARDS. It took me a half an hour to write an email that was two and a half lines long to Sean. Soemtimes I could copy and paste whole words, but more often than not, it was one, or two letters at a time. Tedious McCrappy.
So yeah, that's how exciting my life has been lately. And you guys wondered why I wasn't posting. Maybe cause the only thing interesting in my life right now is Sean, spoons and butter.
Friday, January 14, 2005
boy do I enjoy spoons. and butter.
yes, you heard me correctly. spoons and butter. so much more convenient than a knife and butter! Knives leave nasty ridges in the poor butter's self-esteem, aka appearance (oh how universal) which ugly toast grit gets into and and creates disgusting butter-pimples of mold. and the poor butter's dignity is destroyed. destroyed I say.
but with spoons...! Oh spoons! Spoons are like the savior of depressed ugly butter syndrome! you let a spunky, individualistic spoon slip and slide through hot water, and then allow it to SINK IT'S CREATIVE TEETH into that poor abused butter, and the butter says, "Ahhh! relief! I shall part cleanly for you, spoon" and you have a nice clean dip of space where butter has gone before and no ughy toast grit clogs it's pores, and the butter is once more your friend. this is the advantage of spoons and butter.
Jen Schaper was entirely correct. Life is a pickle. A big fat juicy warty Polski pickle. Of the crunchy variety.
but with spoons...! Oh spoons! Spoons are like the savior of depressed ugly butter syndrome! you let a spunky, individualistic spoon slip and slide through hot water, and then allow it to SINK IT'S CREATIVE TEETH into that poor abused butter, and the butter says, "Ahhh! relief! I shall part cleanly for you, spoon" and you have a nice clean dip of space where butter has gone before and no ughy toast grit clogs it's pores, and the butter is once more your friend. this is the advantage of spoons and butter.
Jen Schaper was entirely correct. Life is a pickle. A big fat juicy warty Polski pickle. Of the crunchy variety.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
ode to the booty pajamas
forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I succumbed to the unthinkable. I embraced anarchy, and godlessness, and celebrated in my own misdeeds. I relinquished the last vestiges of dignity, any semblance of what's good and right.
Last night, I wore--the Booty Pajamas.
Now, for those of you who do not know of the booty pajamas, well, let me just say that they were the cliche, Aunt-Fanny gift that everybody dreads each holiday season. Only they were from my mother.
Yes, a true betrayal of trust from the one who created me. She KNOWS what I like. She KNOWS what I would wear. She KNEW I was asking for jeans this X-mas. What did she get me? booty pajamas.
Not even kidding. They are a white and red, fleecy, typical early child-hood garment, what with the zipper up the tummy, and the cute little collar, and of course--the booties. When I opened this demon garment on Christmas Day, I could not speak, only gaze at my Mom in perplexedness, and a little fear.
I mean honestly--who buys their teenager BOOTY PAJAMAS???
Now this evil peice of apparel made by Satan himself is a true example of my Mom's sense of humour. I caught her eye, and when she saw what I was holding up, she burst into spontaneous, wide-grinned laughter, mirth twinkling in her eyes, and a joke in her demeanor. She looked at me, all wide-eyed and innocent, and said, "Well, you're the one who always complains about being so cold!"
I regarded her, soberly (well, maybe not soberly, perhaps a better word might be...'incredulously') and wailed, "So you bought me BOOTY PAJAMAS???"
Alas, it was true. Alas, and alack. They did not simply disappear as time went buy. Each day I would awake, and there they were, lying maliciously obvious upon my bedroom floor, along with the rest of my Christmas gifts. Each day, it became clearer and clearer that it had not all been a bad dram, that my mom really had, indeed, bought me booty pajamas.
Fast forward a couple of weeks. The enormous snowfall everyone had been expecting had finally arrived. The air was chilly, and even more chilly inside the great box of a refrigerator my house had become after our oil decided to run out once again. Yes, indeed. No showers. No heat. Only a pitifully miniscule little fire, fighting valiantly inside the damper for life.
I hadn't been getting enough sleep since the snow had come, because I would go to bed at night, fully clothed to battle the cold, and shiver for an hour or more, waiting to sleep. Then I would wake early, again because of the cold, but I could not get out of bed. I couldn't. The air outside my semi-warm covers was frigid, and even poking my fingers out turned them red and swollen within minutes.
One night, I was a'searchin my closet, in hope I might find something warmer to sleep in. I had taken to bringing a hot water bottle to bed with me, which sped the descent into slumber, but did nothing for the wake-up process. I was still terrified of geting out of my covers in the morning and found that I was being late for school quite often because of it.
And what did my eye light upon, but--the dreaded booty pajamas.
How I deliberated! How I worried! How I mulled over the consequences of my actions! If I were to give in...if I were to submit...Mother would forever have the upper hand! Before you knew it, she'd be buying me overalls, and belly shirts! A back to the nineteen eighties I'd slide! Back into the humiliations of elementary school, when I actually trusted my mom enough to allow her to dress me! Could I do it? Should I do it???
Ok, so that's a lie, I put the booty pajamas on over long knee socks, and a tee shirt, and crawled into bed with my water bottle.
My dignity was shattered. How could I return to civilized society? But--the glorious warmness of my body plus the hot water bottle, plus fleecy, long-legged booty pajamas of DOOM! DOOM I SAY! My downfall was complete. I fell asleep wondrously, and dreamt of sugar plum fairies, and imaginary boyfriends of my mother's who had been burned severely and had no eyes. What a wonderful sleep.
And in the morning, I awoke to...
...
...
.........
cold.
*BRAIN ANURISM!*
I shivered! And tossed and turned! And clutched my useless, impotent water bottle! And poked my fingers out only to the merciless cold! The booty pajamas had BETRAYED ME! BETRAYED ME I SAY!!!!!!!!!!
And now I am late for school. Again.
Last night, I wore--the Booty Pajamas.
Now, for those of you who do not know of the booty pajamas, well, let me just say that they were the cliche, Aunt-Fanny gift that everybody dreads each holiday season. Only they were from my mother.
Yes, a true betrayal of trust from the one who created me. She KNOWS what I like. She KNOWS what I would wear. She KNEW I was asking for jeans this X-mas. What did she get me? booty pajamas.
Not even kidding. They are a white and red, fleecy, typical early child-hood garment, what with the zipper up the tummy, and the cute little collar, and of course--the booties. When I opened this demon garment on Christmas Day, I could not speak, only gaze at my Mom in perplexedness, and a little fear.
I mean honestly--who buys their teenager BOOTY PAJAMAS???
Now this evil peice of apparel made by Satan himself is a true example of my Mom's sense of humour. I caught her eye, and when she saw what I was holding up, she burst into spontaneous, wide-grinned laughter, mirth twinkling in her eyes, and a joke in her demeanor. She looked at me, all wide-eyed and innocent, and said, "Well, you're the one who always complains about being so cold!"
I regarded her, soberly (well, maybe not soberly, perhaps a better word might be...'incredulously') and wailed, "So you bought me BOOTY PAJAMAS???"
Alas, it was true. Alas, and alack. They did not simply disappear as time went buy. Each day I would awake, and there they were, lying maliciously obvious upon my bedroom floor, along with the rest of my Christmas gifts. Each day, it became clearer and clearer that it had not all been a bad dram, that my mom really had, indeed, bought me booty pajamas.
Fast forward a couple of weeks. The enormous snowfall everyone had been expecting had finally arrived. The air was chilly, and even more chilly inside the great box of a refrigerator my house had become after our oil decided to run out once again. Yes, indeed. No showers. No heat. Only a pitifully miniscule little fire, fighting valiantly inside the damper for life.
I hadn't been getting enough sleep since the snow had come, because I would go to bed at night, fully clothed to battle the cold, and shiver for an hour or more, waiting to sleep. Then I would wake early, again because of the cold, but I could not get out of bed. I couldn't. The air outside my semi-warm covers was frigid, and even poking my fingers out turned them red and swollen within minutes.
One night, I was a'searchin my closet, in hope I might find something warmer to sleep in. I had taken to bringing a hot water bottle to bed with me, which sped the descent into slumber, but did nothing for the wake-up process. I was still terrified of geting out of my covers in the morning and found that I was being late for school quite often because of it.
And what did my eye light upon, but--the dreaded booty pajamas.
How I deliberated! How I worried! How I mulled over the consequences of my actions! If I were to give in...if I were to submit...Mother would forever have the upper hand! Before you knew it, she'd be buying me overalls, and belly shirts! A back to the nineteen eighties I'd slide! Back into the humiliations of elementary school, when I actually trusted my mom enough to allow her to dress me! Could I do it? Should I do it???
Ok, so that's a lie, I put the booty pajamas on over long knee socks, and a tee shirt, and crawled into bed with my water bottle.
My dignity was shattered. How could I return to civilized society? But--the glorious warmness of my body plus the hot water bottle, plus fleecy, long-legged booty pajamas of DOOM! DOOM I SAY! My downfall was complete. I fell asleep wondrously, and dreamt of sugar plum fairies, and imaginary boyfriends of my mother's who had been burned severely and had no eyes. What a wonderful sleep.
And in the morning, I awoke to...
...
...
.........
cold.
*BRAIN ANURISM!*
I shivered! And tossed and turned! And clutched my useless, impotent water bottle! And poked my fingers out only to the merciless cold! The booty pajamas had BETRAYED ME! BETRAYED ME I SAY!!!!!!!!!!
And now I am late for school. Again.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
interesting...
1. Take your blogger username and replace each letter with the corresponding number (A=1, B=2, etc...(underscore = 27): 16-9-14-20-15-6-21-14
2. Add all of the numbers together to create a kind of super number: 115.
3. Add the digits of the number together: 7.
4. Find the post of this number in your xanga (if you dont have this many posts add the numbers together again): Random
5. Take the digit you noted in step 3, and count that many words into the post: to
6. Use the resulting word in a google image search, and select a picture from the first page and post the results
http://www.snowhawk.com/graphics/villains.jpg
I am SO confused!!!! lol!
2. Add all of the numbers together to create a kind of super number: 115.
3. Add the digits of the number together: 7.
4. Find the post of this number in your xanga (if you dont have this many posts add the numbers together again): Random
5. Take the digit you noted in step 3, and count that many words into the post: to
6. Use the resulting word in a google image search, and select a picture from the first page and post the results
http://www.snowhawk.com/graphics/villains.jpg
I am SO confused!!!! lol!
yummeh, yummeh, Danish butter cookies! Rasmus is a danish butter cookie. bend over!
So, if anybody can tell me why Blogger is being a piss-shit peice of whore to NOBODY BUT ME, give me a shout.
I finally got my keyboard back, but only because I whined at my sister because I couldn't sign into hotmail on this computer. Oh shat. I was supposed to call Sean sometime this morning until one to four (he's got church) but it's twelve thirty, and I just got up. Why I got up so late, I really don't know. Yesterday was a day of playing in snow whilst being videotaped (especially when I fell) and watching movie upon movie upon movie at Sean's. We got snowed in up at his Mom's place (which is up by Westwood) so I ended up staying the night, where I was plagued by nightmares caused by the LOUD furnace in his room, and those were interrupted by Sean tickling my feet, and me giggling loudly in my dream, and simultaneously in real life and then waking up. According to Sean, it was cute, however, never having seen myself giggling whilst dreaming, I am inclined to object.
I have been having nightmares a lot lately! Last night, I had this dream that went on, literally all night, AND all morning, about how, my Mom, and I planned to detonate a nuclear bomb in our old backyard (somehow the house was still there, and we still lived in it, but with all our possessions we have now). We were going to do it, because it would prevent some enormous earthquake from going off between the seismic plates that Vancouver Island is on, but unfortunately, it would kill everybody in Nanaimo and radiate everybody else on the Lower Mainland into mutatedness, even though it would save the entire Canadian coastline from this huge earthquake. I felt really guilty about killing everybody I knew, so I rationalized it to myself as, the bl;ast wouldn't actually kill everybody in Nanaimo, just the people within a two-block radius, because the nuclear bomb was so small, it was hidden in a tool box. But then, I asked my mum about it, to reassure myself, and she said that the bomb we were using was only a little bit less powerful than the one used at Hiroshima in the Second World War. And then I got really guilty, and asked to save a bunch of people. Mom agreed, but said, only four because we didn't have the room in our truck for our possessions, our dogs, our family, and lots of other people. So eventually, I decided to save Sean and his family, after going through so many choices, such as the Collective, and Sean, Devin, Geoff, and Sean (I have NO idea where THAT one came from! lol!) and Laura, Kevin Mantta, and Sean. As well as Sean, Bonnie, Ian, and Tuula, we also had me, Mom, Sherayna and her kids. The truck bed was too small for all those people to lay down under a tarp, so as not to be seen (people in truck beds is illegal) so my mom and I stole a canopy so everybody could sit up, just before leaving town. We had set the bomb for fifty minutes, so that we'd have time to get out of the blast range. But then after fifty minutes had passed, the bomb hadn't gone off, so for some idiot reason, my mom and I went back to check it. When we went back, I looked across the street to Beban Park (my old house was across from the forested part of Beban Park) and sitting on a bench was Geoff and Laura. And I felt so incredibly guilty that even though I knew they'd be killed anyways, they'd be killed first, and I couldn't bring them with me, and I couldn't save them, so I just hid when my mom started looking for me after she'd reset the bomb, and figured out why it didn't go off. So she had to leave without me, and then I died w/ Laura and Geoff.
This dream literally took all night to happen, because parts of it just happened over and over and over again, as if it was a tape, and parts of the tape had gotten stuck. It was the scariest dream ever, and I woke up crying. It was literally like a movie. You know what, I should write the screenplay to that, cause it was a freaky dream.
I am really hormonal lately, and it sucks. Plus that shot I got a little while ago is giving me acne. I am le pissed about that. And my foot is asleep, and I don't know what to do about it. I hate that feeling.
The kids are driving me nuts. This morning, they kept interrupting my psycho dream with completely SHRIEKING outside my door, literally as loud as they possibly could. I wanted to scream at them, but I wasn't really that awake, plus it was freezing outside my covers. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. My stupid oil is all gone again, so no more showers for Alleah. If I start to smell bad, I apologizeprofusely, but there's nothing I can do unless you want to buy me oil. I hate my life sometimes. Actually most times.
But at least I have Danish butter cookies.
I finally got my keyboard back, but only because I whined at my sister because I couldn't sign into hotmail on this computer. Oh shat. I was supposed to call Sean sometime this morning until one to four (he's got church) but it's twelve thirty, and I just got up. Why I got up so late, I really don't know. Yesterday was a day of playing in snow whilst being videotaped (especially when I fell) and watching movie upon movie upon movie at Sean's. We got snowed in up at his Mom's place (which is up by Westwood) so I ended up staying the night, where I was plagued by nightmares caused by the LOUD furnace in his room, and those were interrupted by Sean tickling my feet, and me giggling loudly in my dream, and simultaneously in real life and then waking up. According to Sean, it was cute, however, never having seen myself giggling whilst dreaming, I am inclined to object.
I have been having nightmares a lot lately! Last night, I had this dream that went on, literally all night, AND all morning, about how, my Mom, and I planned to detonate a nuclear bomb in our old backyard (somehow the house was still there, and we still lived in it, but with all our possessions we have now). We were going to do it, because it would prevent some enormous earthquake from going off between the seismic plates that Vancouver Island is on, but unfortunately, it would kill everybody in Nanaimo and radiate everybody else on the Lower Mainland into mutatedness, even though it would save the entire Canadian coastline from this huge earthquake. I felt really guilty about killing everybody I knew, so I rationalized it to myself as, the bl;ast wouldn't actually kill everybody in Nanaimo, just the people within a two-block radius, because the nuclear bomb was so small, it was hidden in a tool box. But then, I asked my mum about it, to reassure myself, and she said that the bomb we were using was only a little bit less powerful than the one used at Hiroshima in the Second World War. And then I got really guilty, and asked to save a bunch of people. Mom agreed, but said, only four because we didn't have the room in our truck for our possessions, our dogs, our family, and lots of other people. So eventually, I decided to save Sean and his family, after going through so many choices, such as the Collective, and Sean, Devin, Geoff, and Sean (I have NO idea where THAT one came from! lol!) and Laura, Kevin Mantta, and Sean. As well as Sean, Bonnie, Ian, and Tuula, we also had me, Mom, Sherayna and her kids. The truck bed was too small for all those people to lay down under a tarp, so as not to be seen (people in truck beds is illegal) so my mom and I stole a canopy so everybody could sit up, just before leaving town. We had set the bomb for fifty minutes, so that we'd have time to get out of the blast range. But then after fifty minutes had passed, the bomb hadn't gone off, so for some idiot reason, my mom and I went back to check it. When we went back, I looked across the street to Beban Park (my old house was across from the forested part of Beban Park) and sitting on a bench was Geoff and Laura. And I felt so incredibly guilty that even though I knew they'd be killed anyways, they'd be killed first, and I couldn't bring them with me, and I couldn't save them, so I just hid when my mom started looking for me after she'd reset the bomb, and figured out why it didn't go off. So she had to leave without me, and then I died w/ Laura and Geoff.
This dream literally took all night to happen, because parts of it just happened over and over and over again, as if it was a tape, and parts of the tape had gotten stuck. It was the scariest dream ever, and I woke up crying. It was literally like a movie. You know what, I should write the screenplay to that, cause it was a freaky dream.
I am really hormonal lately, and it sucks. Plus that shot I got a little while ago is giving me acne. I am le pissed about that. And my foot is asleep, and I don't know what to do about it. I hate that feeling.
The kids are driving me nuts. This morning, they kept interrupting my psycho dream with completely SHRIEKING outside my door, literally as loud as they possibly could. I wanted to scream at them, but I wasn't really that awake, plus it was freezing outside my covers. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. My stupid oil is all gone again, so no more showers for Alleah. If I start to smell bad, I apologizeprofusely, but there's nothing I can do unless you want to buy me oil. I hate my life sometimes. Actually most times.
But at least I have Danish butter cookies.
Friday, January 07, 2005
diagnosis: desire!
I feel the need to write a romance novel at this very moment!!! Fortunately for you...I shall supress that urge!
So I have finally gotten my keyboard back, but only for as long as it takes Sherayna to feed her youngest child. URGFH! I really don't see how it makes sense for Sherayna to be a slob, and spill stuff all over her keyboard, and I get punished for it by not being able to blog on this computer. Absolutely unfair! I take care of this computer.
But enough of that. Today is a snow day so tere is no school for Pinto! yay! I find it veray amusing that the rest of Canada is like, "oh, there's eight feet of snow outside! I think it would be prudent to close the schools, so that nobody freezes to death on their way to school..." (*yay, my boy is here!!!*) whereas Nanaimo is like, "oh, woe! tragedy, and terrible disaster! How can our poor students go to school in--oh my goodness-- SEVEN INCHES OF SNOW??? Think of the children! WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!"
Yes, Rest of Canada, that is how pathetic Nanaimo is. Sure, we spawned Diana Krall, and just south of us, on the 49th Parallel, Ladysmith gave the world Pamela Anderson...but all of us are WUSSIES when it comes to deep snow. And I am not condescending here, at all...I hate snow. Despise it w/ a passion. It is fun for two and a half hours in the morning when I get up, and grab some coffee, and then play with my dogs and the kids for a while. But after that, what is there in it for me? It freezes me ridiculously. It makes me sick. It stops the buses so I am stuck w/ my family wether I like it or not. No, I'll admit, I adore Nanaimo's seven inches of snow annually. And I love it that our beaurocracy is too wimpy to send us to school in not even a foot of snow.
Anyways, I'm done with that subject now. In other news, I totally pwn math and socials. In socials, my mark is up from thirty percent to something like sixty nine percent. Which isn't fabulous, but it is impressive. In math, I dunno what I have, but I got eighty nine percent on my last test, plus I've been getting awesome marks on everything I've turned in! Plus, Mr. Gordon adores me, even though I ignored his class so bad before X-mas! w00t for me.
I think there was something else I wanted to talk about but I don't remember what it was. Oh yes, I think Sean is the sexiest, sweetest, hottest, most kind, generous boy in the whole entire universe. I adore him so.
So I have finally gotten my keyboard back, but only for as long as it takes Sherayna to feed her youngest child. URGFH! I really don't see how it makes sense for Sherayna to be a slob, and spill stuff all over her keyboard, and I get punished for it by not being able to blog on this computer. Absolutely unfair! I take care of this computer.
But enough of that. Today is a snow day so tere is no school for Pinto! yay! I find it veray amusing that the rest of Canada is like, "oh, there's eight feet of snow outside! I think it would be prudent to close the schools, so that nobody freezes to death on their way to school..." (*yay, my boy is here!!!*) whereas Nanaimo is like, "oh, woe! tragedy, and terrible disaster! How can our poor students go to school in--oh my goodness-- SEVEN INCHES OF SNOW??? Think of the children! WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!"
Yes, Rest of Canada, that is how pathetic Nanaimo is. Sure, we spawned Diana Krall, and just south of us, on the 49th Parallel, Ladysmith gave the world Pamela Anderson...but all of us are WUSSIES when it comes to deep snow. And I am not condescending here, at all...I hate snow. Despise it w/ a passion. It is fun for two and a half hours in the morning when I get up, and grab some coffee, and then play with my dogs and the kids for a while. But after that, what is there in it for me? It freezes me ridiculously. It makes me sick. It stops the buses so I am stuck w/ my family wether I like it or not. No, I'll admit, I adore Nanaimo's seven inches of snow annually. And I love it that our beaurocracy is too wimpy to send us to school in not even a foot of snow.
Anyways, I'm done with that subject now. In other news, I totally pwn math and socials. In socials, my mark is up from thirty percent to something like sixty nine percent. Which isn't fabulous, but it is impressive. In math, I dunno what I have, but I got eighty nine percent on my last test, plus I've been getting awesome marks on everything I've turned in! Plus, Mr. Gordon adores me, even though I ignored his class so bad before X-mas! w00t for me.
I think there was something else I wanted to talk about but I don't remember what it was. Oh yes, I think Sean is the sexiest, sweetest, hottest, most kind, generous boy in the whole entire universe. I adore him so.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
the day the Pinto died
Alleah Marie Poirier
December 29th, 1987-Saturday, March 12, 2067
according to www.deathclock.com
woot, how cheery!
December 29th, 1987-Saturday, March 12, 2067
according to www.deathclock.com
woot, how cheery!
rawr
so unsatisfied. my stupid idiot sister spilled coffee all over her keyboard, so being the spiteful wench that she is, took MY keyboard, and of course, since she is ALWAYS on this computer, I can NEVER blog anymore, because she is a fucking dyke. actually that's not true, it just seemd the only crude enough word to convey my dissatisfaction at the moment. I want my fucking keyboard back.
In other news, I have come home sick today, because I dunno, but at school, I was totally useless times a million. I think I slept every single class except for jazz choir. So really there was no point in me being there. And to be honest, I'm kind of tired of this right now, too. I have nothing interesting to say today. blah.
I love Sean, though. Oh and btw, I am the worst person in the world. And not just because I practically gave Sean a concussion last night by slamming his face into a door by accident. NO, that's not the only reason, there is MUCH more. But lets not think about that now. I am going to go eat soup, and straighten my hair. goodbye.
In other news, I have come home sick today, because I dunno, but at school, I was totally useless times a million. I think I slept every single class except for jazz choir. So really there was no point in me being there. And to be honest, I'm kind of tired of this right now, too. I have nothing interesting to say today. blah.
I love Sean, though. Oh and btw, I am the worst person in the world. And not just because I practically gave Sean a concussion last night by slamming his face into a door by accident. NO, that's not the only reason, there is MUCH more. But lets not think about that now. I am going to go eat soup, and straighten my hair. goodbye.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
to party or not to party; THAT is the question.
FIRST POST OF THE NEW YEAR! wakka wakka do do yeah. so I didn't post at all yesterday, but that is because I was somewhat hungover, and I didn't particularly feel like using my brain. Sean and I came home from Barba's at about ten, I think. Vanessa drove us home, and we spoke with Gramma and Grampa briefly as they had just arrived to bring the kids home. Which is a very bad thing, because I had planned my big p-tay of awesemity that you all know about (Alana, you are the only one who doesn't I think, because I couldn't find your email anywhere...normally I like to think I'm a pretty good stalker, but you're good at NOT being stalked! lol!) for the second, when no bothersome children would be home to either mess up my clean house, or bug the people who came to have a good rowdy time. Now they're home, and my decision to cancel the party has been vindicated by the fact that in less than twentyfour hours, they have trashed the semi-cleanliness of this domecile. And you all know their mother: *anything they can mess, she will not clean it (she won't clean anything they will mess up...!* hey! that was the coolest song ever!!! in case you couldn't tell, it was to the tune of "anything you can do I can do better")
ANYWAYS...the effect is, yesterday I was uselessness personified, and so, I cannot clean up an entire house of ridiculousness in less than a day. (oh I just remembered, I have to return jackass today...) So I decided to cancel the party. well, apparently there were a number of people who were actually looking forward to that party, so Laura decided to have it at her house instead! Now the problem for me is, I do want to go, but another of the reasons why I didn't have the party was because during the last show, I completely hit burnout. Like, I was going strong one minute, and then the next...it was like I couldn't move. And I got up to go on standby, and I could hardly control my movement. It was almost like being drunk. So one of the ladies doing front-of-house had this herbal spray that she sprayed under my tongue. It's supposed to help shock victims, and people who are overtired. I guess it did, because I performed ok, but for all I know, that could have been just me. As soon as I got offstage, it was hard for me to get excited again. And then, being the retarded animal that I am, I went to Barb's cast party and got drunk and even more retarded. The next morning, I had one of the worst headaches I have ever experienced in my entire life. But interestingly enough, no barf. curious. It was way too bad to have come from just the alchohol, or I would definately have been vomiting as well. I know my general hang over behavior. So I think the crazyness came from being overtired, then hitting burnout, and then keeping going anyways. The headache was part alchohol, and part exhaustion as well.
So the next morning, the thought of having a party, and having to clean up the house, then host a crazy party with many many people, then having to clean it up all over again just felt like no. So I sent out an email to that effect. So now Gator is having my p-tay for me, but with slightly less people, but unfortunately, I still don't think I'm going to go because of the exhaustion thing that I just told you about. Frankly, right now, I am so tired, and so peopled out that I don't even particularly want to see Sean right now. All I want is to clean my room, put away my X-mas presents (speaking of which remind me to tell you of Sean's INSANELY AWESOME BIRTHDAY GIFT TO ME!!!!!), shower, and maybe style my hair to perfect my technique. lol! I'll be running around in dirty socks, pj pants, and styled hair! I love me sometimes!
So I think my plans for today are to complete the above desired list, maybe make an appearance at Gator's party for a half an hour or so, because she is having my party. But it won't be more than the time it takes another bus to get there to take me home. Sean is coming over at four, (or I am going to his house, I can't remember) because he is going away for an entire week to work. This is gonna suck rhino testicles! His next job will last like three weeks, and he has to go away and camp on some retarded island during the week, and come home only on the weekends. That's pretty much the only reason why I am seeing him today even though I want to be alone. Because I know I won't see him again for forever, and that's gonna suck. Besides, he's not the one who has stupidly exhausted himself, so he doesn't deserve to be punished by my stupid lonerness. So I'll see him tonight, and then during the next week (urgfh!) I'll have all the alone time I want. Which will BLOW.
Does anybody else notice how rambly this post is? Again, because I am overtired. I babble when I'm overtired.
ok, now I HAVE to tell you about the AMAZING birthday gifts from Sean and his family!!! WHEEEEE! They are so fabulous, it's not even funny! Those who were at panto know about the b-day gift from his family. Ok, the story goes like this: everybody has been going out to buy new dresses for New Year's Eve, right? Because that's the spiffy show! We work our asses off for over eight hours, and then we get all dressed up and shmooze with the audience and then we head off to the cast aprty, right? This is the way it goes. So I was pissy one day because I had no dress to wear for New Year's Eve. Why, might you ask, do I not have a dress? Well, this is my indulgent, prideful, Capricorn materialistic side coming out: I haven't bought a new dress since the summer, and so all I have are summer dresses. I am SICK AND TIRED of recyling my summer dresses for winter events. My dignity (and I cringe as I say this, cause I know how bad it sound) is actually offended by having to recycle my old dresses constantly. So, being obstinate, and stubborn as Capricorn is, I refused to wear another summer dress to a winter event, so I decided to just wear jeans and a low cut t-shirt. You know, casual dressy, but it works for the intended purpose. Well, I'm pretty sure you've figured out by now what his family got me, but I'll tell you anyways! I was standing with Sean just before the preshow before the New Year's Eve performance, and he pulls out a bag from Mariposa, and tells me that it's my birthday gift from his family. So I open it up, and there is this beautiful black and red dress that I had tried on with him a coupel weeks back!!!! At his suggestion, they had bought me a new dress for New Years!!!! I was so happy, and dressed right up in that very moment! btw, I was backstage with the cast when I did this, so I WASN'T taking my top off in front of the audience at this point! lol! However, I WAS taking my top off with my boyfriend, and the entire cast in the room, but that's all good.
Then my awesome-possum, incredibly wonderful, proves-that-my-boyfriend-is-literally-the-best-boyfriend-in-the-world gift from Sean...there is this mirror from Jysk that I have been jonesing over ever since I moved into this house...in fact probably from before! It has East indian designed carvings all around the edge of the mirror, and voer top the mirror itself, it has these little doors with bars down them. When I first saw this mirror, it was ninetynine dollars, and I instantly fell in love. I vowed to myself that I WOULD have that mirror one day! I even extracted a promise from my mom that with all the extra relief money that people were sending us because of the fire, there would be a hundred set aside for that mirror! Now my momma really loved it, as well, so she kind of hemmed and hawed about it, in a positive-ish fashion. I was convinced I was getting that mirror! I think she feels guilty that she can't just do that sort of thing when she wants to, because we are so poor. So I had hoped that that guilt would work to my advantage, seeing as how it was the only big thing I had asked for and we had the extra money. Well time went by, and she didn't buy the mirror and one day I inquired about it, and she told me--"Alleah, we don't have the extra money." My jaw dropped. We had HAD the extra money for over two months, and she had made me think that she was going to buy it, even factoring it into expenses that we would be tallying up for the month. And all of a sudden, she's giving me the same excuse she's been giving me for my entire life???!!! I was so furious. I actually didn't speak to her for like two days.
But anyways, I had told Sean about that mirror one day when we were in Jysk and I saw it. He thought it was kinda creepy-looking, and bad-quality. He wanted to build one himself. Which I would totally condone! In fact, I'd probably like it better, because I adore my boy, and if he made something like that, I would love it. But I suppose, come my birthday, he must have decided that it was worth it, because yesterday, when I came home from Barbara's, all my family urged me to go up to my room. I was really kind of weirded out, but I did so. I thought it was another peice of furniture like the bedside table from my mom for my birthday. She did the same thing with it, put in my room where it was supposed to be, and then put soem ribbon that stretched from it to downstairs. But I got up there, and looked around, and there was my beloved mirror, asitting on my desk!!!!! My jaw (again) just dropped, and I was totally speechless. Sean snapped a picture of my face with his camera phone! All I could do was just jump on him, and kiss him with all my love! I was so shocked.
Now THAT is why my boyfriend is truly the absolute best in the whole world! I feel so...just completely and utterly spoiled. I don't deserve that kind of spoiling at all! Seriously, this Christmas, and birthday have been like the Christmases and birthdays that I had always wanted to have cause I'm evil and materialistic, but never seriously thought I'd ever have. In fact, it's been better than those Christmases that I dreamt of...! I just don't know what to think about it! I'm not used to this at all. When you think about it, this Christmas, and birthday, hundreds of dollars have been spent on--me. That is too insane to think about. If Christmases and birthdays keep being this crazy, I don't think my heart will be able to handle it! I already feel guilty that so much has been spent on me...I dunno. I don't deserve this. I certainly don't deserve the sheer incredible-ness of Sean Mantta, that is for sure! I love him so much...
k, I gtg. This post is getting weird.
ANYWAYS...the effect is, yesterday I was uselessness personified, and so, I cannot clean up an entire house of ridiculousness in less than a day. (oh I just remembered, I have to return jackass today...) So I decided to cancel the party. well, apparently there were a number of people who were actually looking forward to that party, so Laura decided to have it at her house instead! Now the problem for me is, I do want to go, but another of the reasons why I didn't have the party was because during the last show, I completely hit burnout. Like, I was going strong one minute, and then the next...it was like I couldn't move. And I got up to go on standby, and I could hardly control my movement. It was almost like being drunk. So one of the ladies doing front-of-house had this herbal spray that she sprayed under my tongue. It's supposed to help shock victims, and people who are overtired. I guess it did, because I performed ok, but for all I know, that could have been just me. As soon as I got offstage, it was hard for me to get excited again. And then, being the retarded animal that I am, I went to Barb's cast party and got drunk and even more retarded. The next morning, I had one of the worst headaches I have ever experienced in my entire life. But interestingly enough, no barf. curious. It was way too bad to have come from just the alchohol, or I would definately have been vomiting as well. I know my general hang over behavior. So I think the crazyness came from being overtired, then hitting burnout, and then keeping going anyways. The headache was part alchohol, and part exhaustion as well.
So the next morning, the thought of having a party, and having to clean up the house, then host a crazy party with many many people, then having to clean it up all over again just felt like no. So I sent out an email to that effect. So now Gator is having my p-tay for me, but with slightly less people, but unfortunately, I still don't think I'm going to go because of the exhaustion thing that I just told you about. Frankly, right now, I am so tired, and so peopled out that I don't even particularly want to see Sean right now. All I want is to clean my room, put away my X-mas presents (speaking of which remind me to tell you of Sean's INSANELY AWESOME BIRTHDAY GIFT TO ME!!!!!), shower, and maybe style my hair to perfect my technique. lol! I'll be running around in dirty socks, pj pants, and styled hair! I love me sometimes!
So I think my plans for today are to complete the above desired list, maybe make an appearance at Gator's party for a half an hour or so, because she is having my party. But it won't be more than the time it takes another bus to get there to take me home. Sean is coming over at four, (or I am going to his house, I can't remember) because he is going away for an entire week to work. This is gonna suck rhino testicles! His next job will last like three weeks, and he has to go away and camp on some retarded island during the week, and come home only on the weekends. That's pretty much the only reason why I am seeing him today even though I want to be alone. Because I know I won't see him again for forever, and that's gonna suck. Besides, he's not the one who has stupidly exhausted himself, so he doesn't deserve to be punished by my stupid lonerness. So I'll see him tonight, and then during the next week (urgfh!) I'll have all the alone time I want. Which will BLOW.
Does anybody else notice how rambly this post is? Again, because I am overtired. I babble when I'm overtired.
ok, now I HAVE to tell you about the AMAZING birthday gifts from Sean and his family!!! WHEEEEE! They are so fabulous, it's not even funny! Those who were at panto know about the b-day gift from his family. Ok, the story goes like this: everybody has been going out to buy new dresses for New Year's Eve, right? Because that's the spiffy show! We work our asses off for over eight hours, and then we get all dressed up and shmooze with the audience and then we head off to the cast aprty, right? This is the way it goes. So I was pissy one day because I had no dress to wear for New Year's Eve. Why, might you ask, do I not have a dress? Well, this is my indulgent, prideful, Capricorn materialistic side coming out: I haven't bought a new dress since the summer, and so all I have are summer dresses. I am SICK AND TIRED of recyling my summer dresses for winter events. My dignity (and I cringe as I say this, cause I know how bad it sound) is actually offended by having to recycle my old dresses constantly. So, being obstinate, and stubborn as Capricorn is, I refused to wear another summer dress to a winter event, so I decided to just wear jeans and a low cut t-shirt. You know, casual dressy, but it works for the intended purpose. Well, I'm pretty sure you've figured out by now what his family got me, but I'll tell you anyways! I was standing with Sean just before the preshow before the New Year's Eve performance, and he pulls out a bag from Mariposa, and tells me that it's my birthday gift from his family. So I open it up, and there is this beautiful black and red dress that I had tried on with him a coupel weeks back!!!! At his suggestion, they had bought me a new dress for New Years!!!! I was so happy, and dressed right up in that very moment! btw, I was backstage with the cast when I did this, so I WASN'T taking my top off in front of the audience at this point! lol! However, I WAS taking my top off with my boyfriend, and the entire cast in the room, but that's all good.
Then my awesome-possum, incredibly wonderful, proves-that-my-boyfriend-is-literally-the-best-boyfriend-in-the-world gift from Sean...there is this mirror from Jysk that I have been jonesing over ever since I moved into this house...in fact probably from before! It has East indian designed carvings all around the edge of the mirror, and voer top the mirror itself, it has these little doors with bars down them. When I first saw this mirror, it was ninetynine dollars, and I instantly fell in love. I vowed to myself that I WOULD have that mirror one day! I even extracted a promise from my mom that with all the extra relief money that people were sending us because of the fire, there would be a hundred set aside for that mirror! Now my momma really loved it, as well, so she kind of hemmed and hawed about it, in a positive-ish fashion. I was convinced I was getting that mirror! I think she feels guilty that she can't just do that sort of thing when she wants to, because we are so poor. So I had hoped that that guilt would work to my advantage, seeing as how it was the only big thing I had asked for and we had the extra money. Well time went by, and she didn't buy the mirror and one day I inquired about it, and she told me--"Alleah, we don't have the extra money." My jaw dropped. We had HAD the extra money for over two months, and she had made me think that she was going to buy it, even factoring it into expenses that we would be tallying up for the month. And all of a sudden, she's giving me the same excuse she's been giving me for my entire life???!!! I was so furious. I actually didn't speak to her for like two days.
But anyways, I had told Sean about that mirror one day when we were in Jysk and I saw it. He thought it was kinda creepy-looking, and bad-quality. He wanted to build one himself. Which I would totally condone! In fact, I'd probably like it better, because I adore my boy, and if he made something like that, I would love it. But I suppose, come my birthday, he must have decided that it was worth it, because yesterday, when I came home from Barbara's, all my family urged me to go up to my room. I was really kind of weirded out, but I did so. I thought it was another peice of furniture like the bedside table from my mom for my birthday. She did the same thing with it, put in my room where it was supposed to be, and then put soem ribbon that stretched from it to downstairs. But I got up there, and looked around, and there was my beloved mirror, asitting on my desk!!!!! My jaw (again) just dropped, and I was totally speechless. Sean snapped a picture of my face with his camera phone! All I could do was just jump on him, and kiss him with all my love! I was so shocked.
Now THAT is why my boyfriend is truly the absolute best in the whole world! I feel so...just completely and utterly spoiled. I don't deserve that kind of spoiling at all! Seriously, this Christmas, and birthday have been like the Christmases and birthdays that I had always wanted to have cause I'm evil and materialistic, but never seriously thought I'd ever have. In fact, it's been better than those Christmases that I dreamt of...! I just don't know what to think about it! I'm not used to this at all. When you think about it, this Christmas, and birthday, hundreds of dollars have been spent on--me. That is too insane to think about. If Christmases and birthdays keep being this crazy, I don't think my heart will be able to handle it! I already feel guilty that so much has been spent on me...I dunno. I don't deserve this. I certainly don't deserve the sheer incredible-ness of Sean Mantta, that is for sure! I love him so much...
k, I gtg. This post is getting weird.
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