feeling guilty

about so many things. firstly how bad a student I am. I get home at night, fully intending on writing one essay, or another, and the minute I sit, my head is on the ground, and I am asleep. some would call that exhausted. I call that lazy! I am going to fail all my classes, and have no right to live. I have not turned in a SINGLE thing in English, OR frickin theatre history. And my big term project is due next Tuesday. oh, lord.

the second thing, which I don't feel quite so guilty about anymore is Sean. I called him yesterday, and invited him out to lunch, or whatever, so that we could talk, as his last comment on my blog quite upset me. I talked it over a long time with Ace, and although I don't want to go anymore, I am going to. All I want to come of it is understanding on both our parts, and I'm so scared that that won't happen. I don't know what I'll do, if he begins to hate me like Geoff did. (if I may digress, Geoff gave me a hug yesterday and said he didn't hate me anymore, and even apologized! w00t!) I read his blog today, and read all about his life since we ended, which made me feel a bit better. Apparently, Tuula has a new kitten, which is SO COOL! Also, he feels closer to his beliefs, which is wonderful. I'll not deny it, I was holding him back from that.

On a happier note, The One Act Festival has begun. Last night was auditions, and I may or may not have found my actors for This is a Play (which I am directing). I have yet to speak to Jess, my director for Philadelphia, which I am stage managing. And I somehow managed to be cast in three different plays, which is two projects over the maximum that we're supposed to be allowed. I am playing Marcy, the dope-smoking slut in Jack's Pants; Mimsey in Plaza Suite (a nice easy one liner); and I have a role in What Colour Animal Are You, though I don't know which yet. The director Ashley is going to get her first choices together for a reading next week and then it'll be cast. I'm hoping for Jill, the lazy hardware store inheritee who loves windsurfing. I have a feeling Ashley might have me in mind for Bonnie though, which is the main character, so that would be cool, too. I was also offered the role of Arboghast in Geoff's play, which I turned down, because it was a trifle too large.

So I am very busy, to the point of neglect, and may I just say, I HATE Voice class. Also on my plate is an arrangement with Collective to learn a bunch of Christmas stuff (maybe with boys, maybe not) and go caroling (maybe for money, maybe not). Ace says he can probably get us the stage at Mal for a full-length performance is we ever want it, and as President of Satyr Players, he has the ability to promise that. I don't think we will though, not for this X-mas. Maybe in the spring, I think that would be sweet!

Anyways, I have actors to accost, and promise sexual favors to if they do my play, so I am off. Happy blogging, faithful readers!