hmmm...

*thinking thinking thinking thinking*



Ok, so here's my question. We all know that I am a Pinto, and we all know that I have been so named for the extraordinary Pinto-ness that my hair takes on when I have dyed it blond, and then not dyed it again for many months. We all know this.

But, Bloggers--am I a Pinto Horse, or a Pinto Bean???

Both have the two-toned qualities of Pinto for which I have been named. And I cannot think of any other qualities to link me to one, or the other...am I fat and lazy, just waiting to be eaten, content with it's lot on life, like a Pinto Bean? Or am I--well, horsey?

I cannot decide. One consideration is that, if I am to be named a Pinto Bean, I may be infringing on the realm of the green bean, and snap pea we all know and love, Amay and Bethany. I should hope not. The last time that happened, there was blood and pain and suffering as you cannot imagine.

Anyways, I want chocolate for breakfast. I am supposed to go to Sean's this morning, but I prolly won't. I need to walk my doggy dog. hmmm, I wonder if he would like to come?

I dunno, ttyl...comment your feedback on my dilemma.

dry wall, and no heat for me

Yesterday was interesting and fun! I left school after one block. Went home, changed clothes into dirty-getting stuff, so I could go drywall with Sean and his Uncle Gene.

I didn't end up doing much. I'm small and weak, so mostly, I tried to stay out of the way, and I helped when I was needed. Basically, I played wifey and got them water and sandwiches. I also helped them hold up a sheet of drywall, cause the gyproc had broken, and they needed another person. I helped Gene measure a few times. And while they were putting up the last peice, I swept like a crazy mofo, and then vacuumed obsessive compulsively until the basement looked like there had never been drywall in there. Except for a couple white cloudy areas that I couldn't vacuum very well, cause the dust had congregated.

So now, Sean's basement needs to be taped and puttied, and then--WE GET TO PAINT!!! mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! I am looking forward to that, because it means then I get to start going interior design crazy-like, and that excites.

In other news, HAPPY TWO-YEAR COLLECTIVERSARY, Gator and Beebur!!! You get your gifts today--probably. I was supposed to run around and get all my gift stuff yesterday, but Sean took three hours longer than he said he would drywalling, and by the time they were finished, the stores would have been closed. Bully for me. I was a little perturbed at that, but it's not like it would have mattered. And Gator, I shall talk to you today, I can't call you, cause my phone sucks, remember? Actually, my life in general sucks. So, I shall talk to you in person. I assume this is about the dinner w/ your family and my family?

My only other peice of news is, my oldest friend, Amanda Taft is going through a really hard time right now. Her older stepbrother, Fred had been missing for over a month, and presumed dead. She didn't know who to talk to about it, so she emailed me, even though we haven't hung out almost at all for the past two years. His body was found last Thursday. He had jumped into the Cedar River to escape the police, who him and his friend were apparently running from. His friend survived. He didn't. It is terribly sad, because he left behind a baby boy, Cody, whom Amanda says is adorable. The funeral is on Monday, and if I don't have a exam, I'll be attending. I am completely unable to comprehend the reality of this. I mean, I was never particularly close to Fred, and neither was Amanda. I'm not grief-stricken, or anything, but--I don't know, he's DEAD. like, really completely, irrevocably dead. Everytime, I think too hard about it, and try to imagine his body, I just can't. I have to shake my head and think of something else. It's just so hard to understand. I mean, I'm not a stranger to this, or anything, I've had people close to me die before. But it's never been so hard to get straight in my head like this is. It's just so weird.

Anyways, I'm late for school, again, and I still don't know exactly what I'm giving the girls. I shall get right on that. goodbye.

WHAT???

ok, so I know I have been neglecting blog duties of late, but is that any excuse to ignore recent posts??? I mean really people! Read! Comment! Let me know you're still there! rawr.

my coffee is extraordinarily yummy. which is weird cause I thought I put too much sugar in, but I didn't. So now it tastes like awesome!

Last night, the weirdest thing happened. I guess I had just started to fall asleep, when all of a sudden, my brain kind of SLAMMED into nightmare mode. What happened in my brain was almost like I kind of opened my eyes just a little bit, and I saw AN ENORMOUS SPIDER like half a foot from my head, dangling from a thread. And I freaked out, and jumped out of my bed, and ran out of my room, and turned the light on. Now, I only woke up by the time I was out my door, but I remembered the half-nightmare, so I wasn't sure if it was real or not. I was absolutely freaking out, like sweating, trembling, looking around in my room (even though I was blind cause my glasses weren't on), but, of course, there was no spider...

So, long story shport, I came downstairs, cause Mom heard me freaking out, and asked me what was wrong, and I was shaking so hard, that I couldn't even get the words out! I had to literally concentrate on every single word to get it out. It was pathetic.

Afterwards, Sherayna came up to my room, and searched it together for humongous spiders, and found none. I was still creeped out, so I took S.A.M. to bed with me. Who is S.A.M. you ask? Well, his initials are ment to represent the initials Sean Alexander Mantta! He is the teddy bear that Bonnie gave me for X-mas that is supposed to be be my Sean when the real Sean isn't there! Isn't that sweet?! So he did his duty and protected me all night long from bogeymen. However, his adorable shoes, and backpack, and PANTALOONS were just too awkward to sleep around, so I took them off. Yes that's right!!! I slept ALL NIGHT LONG with Sean's BEAR BUM right beside me!!! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! *shock and scandal* I left his hat on though. The modesty of the top of his head was protected.

oh! did I tell you??? Sean's dad finds things left behind in the motel all the time, and a little while ago he found this awesome pink fuzzy jacket! now given the fact that they live in a motel, and there are scandalous items found there often, such as pictures of girls who are topless, and the fact that prostitues and their johns rent rooms there sometimes, there is a very high probability that the jacket used to belong to a whore...that greatly amused Brianna and Laura when I told them! But w/e, I don't care, assumably, it's been washed, and de-liced, and un-grossed, so I think it's cool. However, now I get nervous when passing small prostitutes, thinking they may demand their jacket back...



(for all those people who DON'T know me, and have NO idea why I am talking about prostitutes and jackets...well lets just say, I live sandwiched between a good part of town, and a bad part of town. therefore, the livestock can swing to either persuasion: the good kind--or the bad kind)

anyways, this post is kind of incoherent, and I have to get dressed for school. I am sitting arouind in my scibbies and my whore jacket from Sean, with my coffee in one hand, and pretty ucky morning breath. I am, going to go employ the tongue brushing techniques, Sean told me about last night (oh how geeky!), and them sit around and contemplate just how nerdy I am. Sucks to be you guys reading my retarded morning posts of unintelligible doom. w/e, you forced me to do so, with your outrageous LACK OF COMMENTAGE! So lets remedy that situation, shall we?

goodbye

sean, go read the blog!

you know..THE blog. *wink wink*

painting and reading and lazing--oh my!

Today was spent esthetically ignoring every single bit of agenda I may have had. I was to do laundry--I painted a box, and one of the trays I got for X-mas. I was to practice for my audition tomorrow--I read a book about Titanic, and ate inordinate amounts of cheese. I was to clean my room--I...well, cleaned my room. And, if I may, it was fabulous!

I must say, though I adore my Sean more than he'll ever know, there are days that I just need to spend by myself. And I feel bad for saying that, knowing that he missed me today, but it's true. Above all, I DO NOT want this relationship to turn out like Geoff and have him hate me cause we never leave each other alone. I mean, look how well my family likes me and they're convinced that I'm never around! If I were constantly here, the way I am with Sean, or the way I was with Geoff...well the WORLD would hate me! You all have to admit, too much me is pretty difficult to handle.

In other news, I have been reading such blogs as Brianna's and have decided to prove my trend-whore-ness once again by ripping her off. These are the things I want out of life:

-to live out my life from now to death with one person. (even if that one "person" is a cat, and I talk to it, and feed it cheese gravy)

-to have a career that I love to do, which makes me a substantial amount of money.

-to have a home I can be proud of, at least in it's comfortability and beauty if not in it's magnificence.

-to do a good job of raising my children. I don't know how many, and I don't care if they end up filthy stinking rich, or working class, as long as they have a sense of humanity, morality, and empathy.

-to do something good for humanity. even if it's only as miniscule as sending money to reputable charities, I don't want to leave this world, having given nothing back.

-to be loved.


I think that that list is long enough. any longer, and fate might be tempted to slap me back down where I belong, because of my presumptions.

me = geekburger

for starters, I am eating macaroni salad, and pickles. which I am sure are acceptable singularily. But together? This is a level of dorkability that I had never thought to attain.

But that's not all. no no. not all at all at all....! I am wearing yet another of Sean's sweaters which is so comfy and joyous inside, and you know how sometimes when you miss a person so badly, and you have something of there, and you wonder if maybe just maybe the fact that you can hold and touch that item of theirs, it kind of connects you on some kind of cosmic level...? yeah well, it's true. I am just that much of a loser.

But I have an excuse! I miss Sean. Which is truely sad, cause I saw him last night. But we are not to see each other until Thursday. We are taking off-days to avoid seeing too much of each other and getting sick of each other. We were going to have them on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, but then he changed Thursday to Wednesday. So there is this enormous, malicious, cruel chunk of time in which I am denied my Sean. Which brings me back to the food issue.

As I am clingy and needy and pathetic, I am eating insane combinations of food (such as macaroni salad and pickles) to give me comfort, in my time of need. *sigh* I wish I had my boy.

Yeah, in other news, my life is pretty boring. My house is literally colder than outside, which is crazy. However, we have recently acquired a spaceheater, compliments of Sean's Mom, and so it has been bouncing around the house warming people. Last night, I went to bed with it on, and this morning, I poked my little arm out of my covers...AND LEFT IT THERE!!!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!

However, unfortunately, there is one measly space heater and seven people it needs to warm, plus a slothful cat. (oh, my hot water...hang on.)

ok, make that pickles, macaroni salad, and instant Turtles cappacino. I bet Sean wishes he was here now!!!

Also, a couple days ago, on Friday, me and Sean went bowling, which was fun. Afterwards, we walked to his house, but not before I broke a three inch plate of ice with my face. Well, to be accurate, my forehead, and I have the lumps to prove it! Sean and I found all these huge flat chunks of ice that were like three inches think, and Sean picked one up and made some kind of Conan the Barbarian noise and broke it on the ground. This inspired me! Then he discovered a slick of ice on the ground and went off to slide on it. Meanwhile, I hatched an evil plan in my noggin. I picked a peice of ice up when Sean was ready to pay attention again, and mimiced his Conan noise, and then (I really have no idea why I did this, it wasn't thought out, or anything, I just thought of it--and did it. that quick!) and then I broke it over my head. Karate-style. Oh yeah, I'm h-core baby!!! Sean just stood there and laughed at me! And then...my head started to hurt! And I realized the error of my ways. *sigh* but it makes a good story now! lol!

Other than that, the only exciting thing of lately is, I learnt that I could write an email without a keyboard yesterday. It's called copy and past like a mad fool, and it BLOWS MONKEY INNARDS. It took me a half an hour to write an email that was two and a half lines long to Sean. Soemtimes I could copy and paste whole words, but more often than not, it was one, or two letters at a time. Tedious McCrappy.

So yeah, that's how exciting my life has been lately. And you guys wondered why I wasn't posting. Maybe cause the only thing interesting in my life right now is Sean, spoons and butter.

boy do I enjoy spoons. and butter.

yes, you heard me correctly. spoons and butter. so much more convenient than a knife and butter! Knives leave nasty ridges in the poor butter's self-esteem, aka appearance (oh how universal) which ugly toast grit gets into and and creates disgusting butter-pimples of mold. and the poor butter's dignity is destroyed. destroyed I say.

but with spoons...! Oh spoons! Spoons are like the savior of depressed ugly butter syndrome! you let a spunky, individualistic spoon slip and slide through hot water, and then allow it to SINK IT'S CREATIVE TEETH into that poor abused butter, and the butter says, "Ahhh! relief! I shall part cleanly for you, spoon" and you have a nice clean dip of space where butter has gone before and no ughy toast grit clogs it's pores, and the butter is once more your friend. this is the advantage of spoons and butter.

Jen Schaper was entirely correct. Life is a pickle. A big fat juicy warty Polski pickle. Of the crunchy variety.

ode to the booty pajamas

forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I succumbed to the unthinkable. I embraced anarchy, and godlessness, and celebrated in my own misdeeds. I relinquished the last vestiges of dignity, any semblance of what's good and right.

Last night, I wore--the Booty Pajamas.

Now, for those of you who do not know of the booty pajamas, well, let me just say that they were the cliche, Aunt-Fanny gift that everybody dreads each holiday season. Only they were from my mother.

Yes, a true betrayal of trust from the one who created me. She KNOWS what I like. She KNOWS what I would wear. She KNEW I was asking for jeans this X-mas. What did she get me? booty pajamas.

Not even kidding. They are a white and red, fleecy, typical early child-hood garment, what with the zipper up the tummy, and the cute little collar, and of course--the booties. When I opened this demon garment on Christmas Day, I could not speak, only gaze at my Mom in perplexedness, and a little fear.

I mean honestly--who buys their teenager BOOTY PAJAMAS???

Now this evil peice of apparel made by Satan himself is a true example of my Mom's sense of humour. I caught her eye, and when she saw what I was holding up, she burst into spontaneous, wide-grinned laughter, mirth twinkling in her eyes, and a joke in her demeanor. She looked at me, all wide-eyed and innocent, and said, "Well, you're the one who always complains about being so cold!"

I regarded her, soberly (well, maybe not soberly, perhaps a better word might be...'incredulously') and wailed, "So you bought me BOOTY PAJAMAS???"

Alas, it was true. Alas, and alack. They did not simply disappear as time went buy. Each day I would awake, and there they were, lying maliciously obvious upon my bedroom floor, along with the rest of my Christmas gifts. Each day, it became clearer and clearer that it had not all been a bad dram, that my mom really had, indeed, bought me booty pajamas.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. The enormous snowfall everyone had been expecting had finally arrived. The air was chilly, and even more chilly inside the great box of a refrigerator my house had become after our oil decided to run out once again. Yes, indeed. No showers. No heat. Only a pitifully miniscule little fire, fighting valiantly inside the damper for life.

I hadn't been getting enough sleep since the snow had come, because I would go to bed at night, fully clothed to battle the cold, and shiver for an hour or more, waiting to sleep. Then I would wake early, again because of the cold, but I could not get out of bed. I couldn't. The air outside my semi-warm covers was frigid, and even poking my fingers out turned them red and swollen within minutes.

One night, I was a'searchin my closet, in hope I might find something warmer to sleep in. I had taken to bringing a hot water bottle to bed with me, which sped the descent into slumber, but did nothing for the wake-up process. I was still terrified of geting out of my covers in the morning and found that I was being late for school quite often because of it.

And what did my eye light upon, but--the dreaded booty pajamas.

How I deliberated! How I worried! How I mulled over the consequences of my actions! If I were to give in...if I were to submit...Mother would forever have the upper hand! Before you knew it, she'd be buying me overalls, and belly shirts! A back to the nineteen eighties I'd slide! Back into the humiliations of elementary school, when I actually trusted my mom enough to allow her to dress me! Could I do it? Should I do it???

Ok, so that's a lie, I put the booty pajamas on over long knee socks, and a tee shirt, and crawled into bed with my water bottle.

My dignity was shattered. How could I return to civilized society? But--the glorious warmness of my body plus the hot water bottle, plus fleecy, long-legged booty pajamas of DOOM! DOOM I SAY! My downfall was complete. I fell asleep wondrously, and dreamt of sugar plum fairies, and imaginary boyfriends of my mother's who had been burned severely and had no eyes. What a wonderful sleep.

And in the morning, I awoke to...

...

...

.........

cold.



*BRAIN ANURISM!*

I shivered! And tossed and turned! And clutched my useless, impotent water bottle! And poked my fingers out only to the merciless cold! The booty pajamas had BETRAYED ME! BETRAYED ME I SAY!!!!!!!!!!

And now I am late for school. Again.

interesting...

1. Take your blogger username and replace each letter with the corresponding number (A=1, B=2, etc...(underscore = 27): 16-9-14-20-15-6-21-14

2. Add all of the numbers together to create a kind of super number: 115.

3. Add the digits of the number together: 7.

4. Find the post of this number in your xanga (if you dont have this many posts add the numbers together again): Random

5. Take the digit you noted in step 3, and count that many words into the post: to

6. Use the resulting word in a google image search, and select a picture from the first page and post the results

http://www.snowhawk.com/graphics/villains.jpg



I am SO confused!!!! lol!

yummeh, yummeh, Danish butter cookies! Rasmus is a danish butter cookie. bend over!

So, if anybody can tell me why Blogger is being a piss-shit peice of whore to NOBODY BUT ME, give me a shout.

I finally got my keyboard back, but only because I whined at my sister because I couldn't sign into hotmail on this computer. Oh shat. I was supposed to call Sean sometime this morning until one to four (he's got church) but it's twelve thirty, and I just got up. Why I got up so late, I really don't know. Yesterday was a day of playing in snow whilst being videotaped (especially when I fell) and watching movie upon movie upon movie at Sean's. We got snowed in up at his Mom's place (which is up by Westwood) so I ended up staying the night, where I was plagued by nightmares caused by the LOUD furnace in his room, and those were interrupted by Sean tickling my feet, and me giggling loudly in my dream, and simultaneously in real life and then waking up. According to Sean, it was cute, however, never having seen myself giggling whilst dreaming, I am inclined to object.

I have been having nightmares a lot lately! Last night, I had this dream that went on, literally all night, AND all morning, about how, my Mom, and I planned to detonate a nuclear bomb in our old backyard (somehow the house was still there, and we still lived in it, but with all our possessions we have now). We were going to do it, because it would prevent some enormous earthquake from going off between the seismic plates that Vancouver Island is on, but unfortunately, it would kill everybody in Nanaimo and radiate everybody else on the Lower Mainland into mutatedness, even though it would save the entire Canadian coastline from this huge earthquake. I felt really guilty about killing everybody I knew, so I rationalized it to myself as, the bl;ast wouldn't actually kill everybody in Nanaimo, just the people within a two-block radius, because the nuclear bomb was so small, it was hidden in a tool box. But then, I asked my mum about it, to reassure myself, and she said that the bomb we were using was only a little bit less powerful than the one used at Hiroshima in the Second World War. And then I got really guilty, and asked to save a bunch of people. Mom agreed, but said, only four because we didn't have the room in our truck for our possessions, our dogs, our family, and lots of other people. So eventually, I decided to save Sean and his family, after going through so many choices, such as the Collective, and Sean, Devin, Geoff, and Sean (I have NO idea where THAT one came from! lol!) and Laura, Kevin Mantta, and Sean. As well as Sean, Bonnie, Ian, and Tuula, we also had me, Mom, Sherayna and her kids. The truck bed was too small for all those people to lay down under a tarp, so as not to be seen (people in truck beds is illegal) so my mom and I stole a canopy so everybody could sit up, just before leaving town. We had set the bomb for fifty minutes, so that we'd have time to get out of the blast range. But then after fifty minutes had passed, the bomb hadn't gone off, so for some idiot reason, my mom and I went back to check it. When we went back, I looked across the street to Beban Park (my old house was across from the forested part of Beban Park) and sitting on a bench was Geoff and Laura. And I felt so incredibly guilty that even though I knew they'd be killed anyways, they'd be killed first, and I couldn't bring them with me, and I couldn't save them, so I just hid when my mom started looking for me after she'd reset the bomb, and figured out why it didn't go off. So she had to leave without me, and then I died w/ Laura and Geoff.

This dream literally took all night to happen, because parts of it just happened over and over and over again, as if it was a tape, and parts of the tape had gotten stuck. It was the scariest dream ever, and I woke up crying. It was literally like a movie. You know what, I should write the screenplay to that, cause it was a freaky dream.

I am really hormonal lately, and it sucks. Plus that shot I got a little while ago is giving me acne. I am le pissed about that. And my foot is asleep, and I don't know what to do about it. I hate that feeling.

The kids are driving me nuts. This morning, they kept interrupting my psycho dream with completely SHRIEKING outside my door, literally as loud as they possibly could. I wanted to scream at them, but I wasn't really that awake, plus it was freezing outside my covers. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. My stupid oil is all gone again, so no more showers for Alleah. If I start to smell bad, I apologizeprofusely, but there's nothing I can do unless you want to buy me oil. I hate my life sometimes. Actually most times.

But at least I have Danish butter cookies.

diagnosis: desire!

I feel the need to write a romance novel at this very moment!!! Fortunately for you...I shall supress that urge!

So I have finally gotten my keyboard back, but only for as long as it takes Sherayna to feed her youngest child. URGFH! I really don't see how it makes sense for Sherayna to be a slob, and spill stuff all over her keyboard, and I get punished for it by not being able to blog on this computer. Absolutely unfair! I take care of this computer.

But enough of that. Today is a snow day so tere is no school for Pinto! yay! I find it veray amusing that the rest of Canada is like, "oh, there's eight feet of snow outside! I think it would be prudent to close the schools, so that nobody freezes to death on their way to school..." (*yay, my boy is here!!!*) whereas Nanaimo is like, "oh, woe! tragedy, and terrible disaster! How can our poor students go to school in--oh my goodness-- SEVEN INCHES OF SNOW??? Think of the children! WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!"

Yes, Rest of Canada, that is how pathetic Nanaimo is. Sure, we spawned Diana Krall, and just south of us, on the 49th Parallel, Ladysmith gave the world Pamela Anderson...but all of us are WUSSIES when it comes to deep snow. And I am not condescending here, at all...I hate snow. Despise it w/ a passion. It is fun for two and a half hours in the morning when I get up, and grab some coffee, and then play with my dogs and the kids for a while. But after that, what is there in it for me? It freezes me ridiculously. It makes me sick. It stops the buses so I am stuck w/ my family wether I like it or not. No, I'll admit, I adore Nanaimo's seven inches of snow annually. And I love it that our beaurocracy is too wimpy to send us to school in not even a foot of snow.

Anyways, I'm done with that subject now. In other news, I totally pwn math and socials. In socials, my mark is up from thirty percent to something like sixty nine percent. Which isn't fabulous, but it is impressive. In math, I dunno what I have, but I got eighty nine percent on my last test, plus I've been getting awesome marks on everything I've turned in! Plus, Mr. Gordon adores me, even though I ignored his class so bad before X-mas! w00t for me.

I think there was something else I wanted to talk about but I don't remember what it was. Oh yes, I think Sean is the sexiest, sweetest, hottest, most kind, generous boy in the whole entire universe. I adore him so.

the day the Pinto died

Alleah Marie Poirier
December 29th, 1987-Saturday, March 12, 2067

according to www.deathclock.com


woot, how cheery!

rawr

so unsatisfied. my stupid idiot sister spilled coffee all over her keyboard, so being the spiteful wench that she is, took MY keyboard, and of course, since she is ALWAYS on this computer, I can NEVER blog anymore, because she is a fucking dyke. actually that's not true, it just seemd the only crude enough word to convey my dissatisfaction at the moment. I want my fucking keyboard back.

In other news, I have come home sick today, because I dunno, but at school, I was totally useless times a million. I think I slept every single class except for jazz choir. So really there was no point in me being there. And to be honest, I'm kind of tired of this right now, too. I have nothing interesting to say today. blah.

I love Sean, though. Oh and btw, I am the worst person in the world. And not just because I practically gave Sean a concussion last night by slamming his face into a door by accident. NO, that's not the only reason, there is MUCH more. But lets not think about that now. I am going to go eat soup, and straighten my hair. goodbye.

to party or not to party; THAT is the question.

FIRST POST OF THE NEW YEAR! wakka wakka do do yeah. so I didn't post at all yesterday, but that is because I was somewhat hungover, and I didn't particularly feel like using my brain. Sean and I came home from Barba's at about ten, I think. Vanessa drove us home, and we spoke with Gramma and Grampa briefly as they had just arrived to bring the kids home. Which is a very bad thing, because I had planned my big p-tay of awesemity that you all know about (Alana, you are the only one who doesn't I think, because I couldn't find your email anywhere...normally I like to think I'm a pretty good stalker, but you're good at NOT being stalked! lol!) for the second, when no bothersome children would be home to either mess up my clean house, or bug the people who came to have a good rowdy time. Now they're home, and my decision to cancel the party has been vindicated by the fact that in less than twentyfour hours, they have trashed the semi-cleanliness of this domecile. And you all know their mother: *anything they can mess, she will not clean it (she won't clean anything they will mess up...!* hey! that was the coolest song ever!!! in case you couldn't tell, it was to the tune of "anything you can do I can do better")

ANYWAYS...the effect is, yesterday I was uselessness personified, and so, I cannot clean up an entire house of ridiculousness in less than a day. (oh I just remembered, I have to return jackass today...) So I decided to cancel the party. well, apparently there were a number of people who were actually looking forward to that party, so Laura decided to have it at her house instead! Now the problem for me is, I do want to go, but another of the reasons why I didn't have the party was because during the last show, I completely hit burnout. Like, I was going strong one minute, and then the next...it was like I couldn't move. And I got up to go on standby, and I could hardly control my movement. It was almost like being drunk. So one of the ladies doing front-of-house had this herbal spray that she sprayed under my tongue. It's supposed to help shock victims, and people who are overtired. I guess it did, because I performed ok, but for all I know, that could have been just me. As soon as I got offstage, it was hard for me to get excited again. And then, being the retarded animal that I am, I went to Barb's cast party and got drunk and even more retarded. The next morning, I had one of the worst headaches I have ever experienced in my entire life. But interestingly enough, no barf. curious. It was way too bad to have come from just the alchohol, or I would definately have been vomiting as well. I know my general hang over behavior. So I think the crazyness came from being overtired, then hitting burnout, and then keeping going anyways. The headache was part alchohol, and part exhaustion as well.

So the next morning, the thought of having a party, and having to clean up the house, then host a crazy party with many many people, then having to clean it up all over again just felt like no. So I sent out an email to that effect. So now Gator is having my p-tay for me, but with slightly less people, but unfortunately, I still don't think I'm going to go because of the exhaustion thing that I just told you about. Frankly, right now, I am so tired, and so peopled out that I don't even particularly want to see Sean right now. All I want is to clean my room, put away my X-mas presents (speaking of which remind me to tell you of Sean's INSANELY AWESOME BIRTHDAY GIFT TO ME!!!!!), shower, and maybe style my hair to perfect my technique. lol! I'll be running around in dirty socks, pj pants, and styled hair! I love me sometimes!

So I think my plans for today are to complete the above desired list, maybe make an appearance at Gator's party for a half an hour or so, because she is having my party. But it won't be more than the time it takes another bus to get there to take me home. Sean is coming over at four, (or I am going to his house, I can't remember) because he is going away for an entire week to work. This is gonna suck rhino testicles! His next job will last like three weeks, and he has to go away and camp on some retarded island during the week, and come home only on the weekends. That's pretty much the only reason why I am seeing him today even though I want to be alone. Because I know I won't see him again for forever, and that's gonna suck. Besides, he's not the one who has stupidly exhausted himself, so he doesn't deserve to be punished by my stupid lonerness. So I'll see him tonight, and then during the next week (urgfh!) I'll have all the alone time I want. Which will BLOW.

Does anybody else notice how rambly this post is? Again, because I am overtired. I babble when I'm overtired.

ok, now I HAVE to tell you about the AMAZING birthday gifts from Sean and his family!!! WHEEEEE! They are so fabulous, it's not even funny! Those who were at panto know about the b-day gift from his family. Ok, the story goes like this: everybody has been going out to buy new dresses for New Year's Eve, right? Because that's the spiffy show! We work our asses off for over eight hours, and then we get all dressed up and shmooze with the audience and then we head off to the cast aprty, right? This is the way it goes. So I was pissy one day because I had no dress to wear for New Year's Eve. Why, might you ask, do I not have a dress? Well, this is my indulgent, prideful, Capricorn materialistic side coming out: I haven't bought a new dress since the summer, and so all I have are summer dresses. I am SICK AND TIRED of recyling my summer dresses for winter events. My dignity (and I cringe as I say this, cause I know how bad it sound) is actually offended by having to recycle my old dresses constantly. So, being obstinate, and stubborn as Capricorn is, I refused to wear another summer dress to a winter event, so I decided to just wear jeans and a low cut t-shirt. You know, casual dressy, but it works for the intended purpose. Well, I'm pretty sure you've figured out by now what his family got me, but I'll tell you anyways! I was standing with Sean just before the preshow before the New Year's Eve performance, and he pulls out a bag from Mariposa, and tells me that it's my birthday gift from his family. So I open it up, and there is this beautiful black and red dress that I had tried on with him a coupel weeks back!!!! At his suggestion, they had bought me a new dress for New Years!!!! I was so happy, and dressed right up in that very moment! btw, I was backstage with the cast when I did this, so I WASN'T taking my top off in front of the audience at this point! lol! However, I WAS taking my top off with my boyfriend, and the entire cast in the room, but that's all good.

Then my awesome-possum, incredibly wonderful, proves-that-my-boyfriend-is-literally-the-best-boyfriend-in-the-world gift from Sean...there is this mirror from Jysk that I have been jonesing over ever since I moved into this house...in fact probably from before! It has East indian designed carvings all around the edge of the mirror, and voer top the mirror itself, it has these little doors with bars down them. When I first saw this mirror, it was ninetynine dollars, and I instantly fell in love. I vowed to myself that I WOULD have that mirror one day! I even extracted a promise from my mom that with all the extra relief money that people were sending us because of the fire, there would be a hundred set aside for that mirror! Now my momma really loved it, as well, so she kind of hemmed and hawed about it, in a positive-ish fashion. I was convinced I was getting that mirror! I think she feels guilty that she can't just do that sort of thing when she wants to, because we are so poor. So I had hoped that that guilt would work to my advantage, seeing as how it was the only big thing I had asked for and we had the extra money. Well time went by, and she didn't buy the mirror and one day I inquired about it, and she told me--"Alleah, we don't have the extra money." My jaw dropped. We had HAD the extra money for over two months, and she had made me think that she was going to buy it, even factoring it into expenses that we would be tallying up for the month. And all of a sudden, she's giving me the same excuse she's been giving me for my entire life???!!! I was so furious. I actually didn't speak to her for like two days.

But anyways, I had told Sean about that mirror one day when we were in Jysk and I saw it. He thought it was kinda creepy-looking, and bad-quality. He wanted to build one himself. Which I would totally condone! In fact, I'd probably like it better, because I adore my boy, and if he made something like that, I would love it. But I suppose, come my birthday, he must have decided that it was worth it, because yesterday, when I came home from Barbara's, all my family urged me to go up to my room. I was really kind of weirded out, but I did so. I thought it was another peice of furniture like the bedside table from my mom for my birthday. She did the same thing with it, put in my room where it was supposed to be, and then put soem ribbon that stretched from it to downstairs. But I got up there, and looked around, and there was my beloved mirror, asitting on my desk!!!!! My jaw (again) just dropped, and I was totally speechless. Sean snapped a picture of my face with his camera phone! All I could do was just jump on him, and kiss him with all my love! I was so shocked.

Now THAT is why my boyfriend is truly the absolute best in the whole world! I feel so...just completely and utterly spoiled. I don't deserve that kind of spoiling at all! Seriously, this Christmas, and birthday have been like the Christmases and birthdays that I had always wanted to have cause I'm evil and materialistic, but never seriously thought I'd ever have. In fact, it's been better than those Christmases that I dreamt of...! I just don't know what to think about it! I'm not used to this at all. When you think about it, this Christmas, and birthday, hundreds of dollars have been spent on--me. That is too insane to think about. If Christmases and birthdays keep being this crazy, I don't think my heart will be able to handle it! I already feel guilty that so much has been spent on me...I dunno. I don't deserve this. I certainly don't deserve the sheer incredible-ness of Sean Mantta, that is for sure! I love him so much...

k, I gtg. This post is getting weird.

super dictionarian

today's gonna suck...I have to be up at Brianna's by one to practice for tonight's pre show. then I have call for the first show at four, showtime is at fivethirty, and it ends at eight. we have a half an hour until call at eight thirty for the next show, show time is at nine, we have the preshow, which Collective is on first for, and we are singing two songs. The show goes after that until about midnight, we'll do the countdown to the New Year onstage. Then the banquet-shmoozie-thing at the Bailey goes until about twelve thirty or one. After that is Barbara's drunken cast party of awesemity. And prolly about five or six a clock that morning is when I will die. As in completely cease the living. Beathing, heart rate, all systems failure. I am gonna be SO tired!

But yesterday was a success! At two, a small number of my close friends showed up to Fast Eddies, and we ordered and ate. Laura, Tim, Devin, and Sean were there. I ordered a frickin three course meal cause I felt like splurging. (hey, it was only seventeen dollars with tax! I could afford it!) I ate most of it, and then started throwing the remainder at panto people who showed up after Phantom of the Opera at four. AAt four, Vanessa, Will, Jen Smythe, Nicole, Sasja, Brianna, Rosie, Mel, Niki, and Jen Schaper showed up, and we occupied this little corner of Fast Eddies that was filled with rowdy theatre kids singing, and throwing comestibles at each other! A grand ole time was had by all!

In other news I totally kicked Sean into the ground at Boggle! I think yhe ended up with something like twelve points after four games, and I had thirty! It was awesome-possum!!! He was embarrassed and tried to keep me from showing Mom his score...but I stil;l told her about it! lol!

After Fast Eddies, the people with cars went up to Woodgrove to go underwear shopping. I didn't buy anything, although I was tempted. Hey, I only had five dollars left!

After that, we drove to Panto, and we had a really awesome warm-up. The show started on time, and it was......... o k. It was NOT fabulous, although the audience started to give us a standing o at the end. The audience was really weird! They were a completely dead audience, just sitting in their seats, expressionless, while a few in front did the audience participation parts, and yet the worst expressionless ones were the ones that gave us the standing o at the end! It was carazay! Dean said, at intermission, they were just standing around as if they were at a wake! It was wierd. But Chapel of Love (the curtain call number) went really well, and Dancing in the Streets (the finale) went the best we've ever done it! In my opinion. We all had fabulous energy, and I dunno about anyone else (possibly with the exception of Nicole; her voice died halfway through that song) but I just belted that song out with all I had! It was TRES fabou, in the words of Mel.

Now it's ten, and Sean is coming at eleven, I think...*sigh*, that boy. I need to shower, and blow dry my hair, and hopefully straighten it. bigger, I don't wanna do that right now! I wish I had more time in between now and practice/show time...this is gonna suck times a lot.

well, anyways, off to the showers I go. Goodbye all. Oh yeah, and if I added you on msn, and you think that's creepy, it was only for the purposes of telling the entirety of Nanaimo about my b-day p-tay. most of you may delete me if you want, cause I'm really not on very much anyways. ttyl!

it's mah birthday!!!!

what's that rap with 'something something something, it's your birthday' in it...? on second thought, never mind. in fact, forget I ever said that.

so it's my b-day, and I am spending it w/ Sean and my family. also known as...my family. I am wearing a pretty red t-shirt that is sadly NOT birthday new, and skanky summertime shorts, cause everything I own is dirty, plus my pink frog slippers. I'm also cooking Sean food, while burping, so suffice it to say today is a strange day. but it's gotta be! it's the anniversary of the day I was born!!!

this morning, I got up later than I should have and walked to Tim Horton's where Sean met me after running to my house and back looking for me cause he'd had a dream I was getting beaten up by random males...what a crazy ninja. we drank coffee, and talked, and then ran for a bus, while I snippily asked Sean to take his coffee...*blush*

we got to my house, and spent some time on the computer while Mom and Sherayna were wrapping my b-day gifts upstairs. then Ken arrived, and him, Mom, Sherayna, and Sean watched me open my birthday gifts. I got five bucks from Ken, twenty bucks from Gramma and Grampa, shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner and a chocolate orange from Sherayna, a makeup bag, socks, pink fishnets, gray leg warmers, a purse (w/ a loonie in it for good luck!), a SpongeBob SquarePants calendar, two belts, and the game Boggle from my Mom. Oh yeah, plus a BEDSIDE TABLE! I was so happy, I've been needing one. But now I need an extension cord, and some trimming for the inside of my room that I can hide this extension cord in, that is removable so Moni won't refuse us our damage deposit if I put it in...or I could just leave my alarm clock where it is.

It's been a pretty good birthday so far. For those who want to know, my first birthday p-tay is tomorrow at 2pm to 6pm at Fast Eddies on Bowen Rd. Any who want to come are invited, gifts optional cause it was just X-mas, and the rest of Panto will be there, too, so if you don't really like me, but you like others who are in the pantomime, you should come anyways...but if that's your reason, then you HAVE to give me a gift! lol... Then my other one will be on the second of January at my house, which is pretty easy to get to. Email me if you want directions, ad I shall oblige. That is from seven to pretty much all night for those who want to stay all night because of travel troubles. It is non-alchoholic, but I will not turn you away if you show up inebriated. But my mom WILL yell at me, so try not to. Oh yeah, and if anybody has an air hockey table they want to bring for the night, I would very possibly be your slave for the rest of my life! Now, I don't have time to make specific invitations, so, pretty much if you were in Bye Bye Birdie, and want to come, sure, if you are in Panto, and want to come, sure, if you go to my school, and want to come, sure, if you randomly read my blog and live in Nanaimo and want to come, sure, but you may not bring your drugs, prostitutes, porn, or any other form of contraband. And you may not come if you are Emma Love. Other than that, p-tay at my house on the second! Again, gifts are optional, unless you are Sean, Laura, or Brianna! lol, jk...

k, mah boy wants to go watch jackass, so I'm gonna go do that! ttyl! Happy Birthday to me!

much to post about!!!

*sigh*

What a FABULOUS past few days!!!! I am entirely contented and happy. I hope you guys are settled in and ready for a marathon read, for there is much to blog about!!!

On Christmas Eve, I was supposed to be with my family all night, but things ended up being wonky with time. The past couple days before X-mas, I had been fitting amazing amounts of stuff into my days, for I had Christmas presents to wrap/make/buy, as well as spend time with Sean, as well as spend time with both of our families. Very busy time, very very busy. Also kind of satisfying, given the amount of work I got done. Christmas Eve, I spent most of the day shopping in Port Place for Sean's family and his dad and the two younger kids, and at my house w/ Sean making gifts (I made a bunch of the gifts I gave this year. I either made pillows, or painted wooden things like birdhouses, or jewelery drawers). Unfortunately, his mom was very late picking us up to go to Sean's house so I could finish sewing my pillows, and whatnot, so I ended up missing dinner at my house, which I had intended on being home for. Instead I went to Sean's and took all night sewing a pillow, which I justify because it's quilted in a crazy fashion, plus the sewing machine kept messing up. If you want to see it, go see Sean Mantta, the best guy in the whole world, because I gave it to him. mostly because the rest of my gift for him sucked so bad! lol! I gave him The pillow, and a picture frame that is made like an easel, with a picture of me during the summer holding one of the puppies in it. My mummy gave him a measurement set for his house design which he is obsessed with now, and a picture frame (whose glass she ended up stepping on and breaking by accident!), and a book about being a Leo. Also, in his stocking from our house, I gave him one of the stockings that I had made. *Man, those things gave me so much grief! I sewed the two sides together before I remembered that I hadn't sewed the top white fuzzy part onto them! URGFH! So, I had to rip the seams at the top apart about two inches, and ended up sewing them on like that. As a result, all my stockings are the gimpiest things you've ever seen! AND YOU ALL BETTER LIKE THEM, CAUSE I BROKE MY BACK OVER THEM!!!* He also got a little stuffed lion, cause he's a Leo. He named it Gunther! He also got a pink lei, a marionette poodle (oh my gifts are so stupid!), um, and other stuff that I cannot remember...wait! He got a pen, I remember that!!! lol!

Anyways...ok, I don't remember what I was saying. Something about X-mas eve, I think! Man, now you know why I blog so much! If I don't, then everything gets muddled in my brain, and I can't think!!! Christmas Eve, I spent most of it sewing Sean's pillow. I ended up staying for Sean's family's X-mas dinner, which was Mexican food. They had missionaries over for dinner, which was fun! I learned that missionaries aren't allowed to refuse food, pretty much, and they're not allowed to hug (within reason), which is crazy!!! Apparently, it's something about temptation, the hugging thing. So that they can concentrate on their mission. Anyways, that was funny, because whether or not me and Sean went caroling with them afterwards pretty much depended on me! So they went on this huge campaign trying to get me to come with them, but unfortunately, I was really behind on my pillow, because the machine kept screwing up. So I stayed home. Bonnie and Ian gave the missionaries gifts, which were scarfs that Ian sewed himself!! lol! It seems everyone is creative this X-mas season! I know Mel, and Devin both made their gifts, as did I.

So eventually, I ended up going home at about one in the morning! We watched Mean Girls, as well, because Sean insisted on watching a movie on Christmas Eve with me, which is why I was so late getting home. After that before I went home, Sean let me open one of the gifts he bought me. It was this beautiful porceline egg that opens up, and according to Gramma, you put your jewelry in it when you're doing the dishes, or showering or whatever. It was so beautiful. Then I went home; it was late. But then I was so sad, because I still wasn't finished my gifts, so I stayed up until THREE IN THE MORNING, painting, wrapping, and placing gifts under the tree. I was so exhausted. It was so funny, cause when I was gathering supplies, I couldn't find any bows, so finally was like, "You know what, fine! No one will even GET bows! URGFH" and slunk up to my room to do my wrapping. It was amusing...

So finally I went to bed in the clothes that I was wearing except for I took off my pants and put on shorts, and with paint on my bedspread. I was tired that I just didn't care. There could have been camel poop on my bed, and I just would have slept around it, cause I just wanted to sleep! The next morning, I was shocked because KEN got up before the kids!!! It was so weird! He came into my room at about eight in the morning with a cup of coffee, urging me out of my nice comfy bed. I dunnok, it was so crazy! Have YOU ever had a Christmas where you opened gifts AFTER daylight??? I know!!! Especially not with little children around! You always get up at three thirty or something ridiculous like that...but not with these kids. That's weird.

Anyways, we got up, and opened our stockings, because Gramma was not up yet, just like every year! The first thing I opened was a package nof toe rings, which is crazy cause my entire family *cough* I mean Santa knows that I don't liek toe rings, and they drive me crazy if I try to wear them. Methinks that SOMEONE didn't read the fine print, and thought they were normal rings. Which is still nice, because, likewise, Santa aka my family also know that I LOVE rings, with a passion. I also got a candle, a pen, candy, a figurine, a porceline head that is a magnet, perfume, an incense burner and incense, and these crazy weird garden things that are glass flowers. I'm not crazy into that, but when Sean saw them, he thought they were pretty, so I may yet use them in my domicile...

Soon, though, Gramma got up, and dressed. Usually she doesn't on X-mas Eve, but it's cold in our house, so it's understandable. So we started passing out gifts. All in all, I got a hair straightener, a blow dryer, a curling iron (goodness, do I seem that shallow to my family??? whatever, I suppose it's an easy gift; everybody knows I needed one), a Faye Kellerman novel that I have already read, but didn't own, crazy random PJ's from my mom (I swear, they're for children...they have BOOTIES for godsakes!!!!) makeup, a magazine that I already have, a matching scarf and gloves, a set of craft trays to paint because I absolutely love painting trays (I think my Mom is trying to foster this whole craft thing that I am getting into; how wholesome!), wonderful-smelling bath products and other stuff that I can't remember right now. I must be maturing...I opened all my gifts before the kids were even halfway through their pile, and in previous years I have been resentful of that, but this year, I was perfectly entertained sitting there playing with bubble wrap and watching the kids, and watching everybody open the gifts that I got them. Gramma and Grampa were delighted with the birdhouse I painted them. It was so expensive to buy (for a craft) but I didn't care, it was so worth it! Sherayna also loved her jewelry box. I was actually really unhappy with it, cause I'd done the detailing at eleven the night before, and it was so uncreative of me. Very disappointing! Mom really liked her planter, and dream catcher, just like I knew she would. You knwo what she bought "The Mattson Family"??? A DVD PLAYER!!!!!! Holy crap! She let me open it, and the noise that came out of my mouth when I saw what it was...it is unparalleled by any other human voice!!! lol! I was so happy with the DVD player.

Afterwards we all ate some food, and watched the kids play with their toys. I took my pile up to my room, and ogled...lol! I took a really wonderful shower, and washed my hair with Fructis that Sean had bought me the day before because he's wonderful! And shaved my legs with pathetically cheap, bad quality man shaving cream, which caused my knees to smell like man-face. uck. And I used my lovely-smelling body wash, and the matching body lotion once I got out. I got all dressed up, adn did my hair with my new blow dryer, and started to straighten it, but I was running late, so I decided not to, and I used the body spray that matches my body wash, and lotion, so I smelled ecstatically wonderful, and I happy about that. I felt very pretty and Christmas-like. Then Sean arrived to pick me up for our Christmas activities, and he was wearing--track pants. and a t-shirt! lol!!! We mismatched terribly, but it's understandable. We went to his dad's house, and opened gifts. I gave his dad his gift from me which was a mug, and Turtles. He seemed to really like it, because he told me how perfect the bottom was for the cup holders on his boat. I told him about how I didn't know which one to get him, so I just got the one that I would have wanted! Sean got his Star Wars thing that he wanted, and apparently he got the ornament he wanted as well! His dad got me the alarm clock that I had whined about wanting! lol! He also got me a DVD of this movie that I hadn't seen but really wanted to because it has adorable tiger cubs in it, and this beautiful tree ornament from copper mines in Salt Lake City. It was gorgeous, and I was so thrilled! Afterwards, we sat and talked for a bit,a dn watched a special on A&E about Santa Claus. Such a geek am I, cause I was totally enraptured by it! I watch WAY too much A&E, I swear...

Sean went to go get dressed, which was amusing cause I was in the room with him, when he went to kick me out. I can't remember what he did, but he said something that I was going to tickle him for, but seeing as how he was kicking me out so he could change, and since he was wearing tear-aways, I decided to aid him in that little endeavor! Or at least, the UNdressing part of that endeavor! I totally ripped his pants off, and ran out into the hall with them, while laughing, and he comes out, all morose in his tighty-whities, and says to his dad, "look what she did to me!" I was laughing so hard by that time!

*stupid gosh-durn sunlight! I can't see my computer screen!!!*

anyways, after that, we got in the car and headed--back to my house! lol! At my house, Sean opened his gift, and seemed really happy with it! Mom was tickled with the fact that he opened up his scarf (it matches mine, except it's white, and mine is red) and put it right on! He seemed really happy with his picture frame(s), and didn't seem very surprised when he opened up the pillow! I didn't think he would be, seeing as how he was there the whole time it was being made, but he liked it, I think which I am happy about.

*HA!! I win! I pwn stupid sunlight of blinding death! I shut a t-shirt into the window, and now I can see my screen again! YAY!*

After that, we hung out in my room a bit, and he saw my ridiculous booties PJ's, and we laughed muchly! We went downstairs after, and Sean fell asleep with his eyes open! lol! it was crazy to watch; he was just not there, and by not there, I mean his mind was somewhere else entirely. It was amusing to watch. He played with the kids a bit, which was adorable, like it always is!

Eventually, we ate dinner, which was so good! I ate tons of mashed potatoes, and great quantities of ENORMOUS black olives, and gulped my wine cause I don't like it very much, and got the tiniest bit of a head from it. I know, I'm such a lightweight!!! Pathetic me! Quinn called after dinner, and I got to introduce him to Sean, which was great! Sean actually handled it really well. If you want my big brothers to respect you, you have to not be afraid of them. ALl my other boyfriends, when they met my big bros, were quiet, and "yessir"-esque, which just doesn't work when you're dealing with my family! But Sean actually responded to him like they were equals, and it comforted me. After that, we called his Mom's house for a ride, and the kids made a mess of the living room floor with paint, which made me crazy. I don't necessarily blame them; they're kids. But I swear their mother can be such an idiot sometimes. You just don't allow a five year old, and a four year old to play with acrylic paints on a hard wood floor with no supervision, and no newspaper, and then put a ten month old baby who is CRAWLING on the floor to get into it as well. That made me foam at the mouth, but w/e.

Afterwards, we headed to Sean's Mom's house where we all opened more gifts! I gave them their gift which was sad, and pathetic, especially compared with how badly they spoiled me (more details later!), but at least it was heartfelt! I got them a family of snowmen, because it's kidn of their Christmas theme! They have tons of snowmen, even though Bonnie says she doesn;t collect them! Sean and I had a gift that Ian wanted us to open at the same time! It turned out to be MATCHING PJ pants that he sewed himself, and matching SpongeBob Squarepnats watches!!! lol!!!!! One of the coolest gifts I have EVER gotten! I am wearing both of them right now! After that, I got to open my gifts from them, which was crazy, and I felt kind of guilty cause there was a ton of them, and I was the only one opening gifts...

They spoiled me so badly!!! In all, I got a fleece blanket with frogs, and pigs, and cows on it, pink slippers with Hip Hop frogs on them, which is so perfect, cause I LOVE dancing hip hop! lol! I also got a SpongeBob nightie, which is somehow crazy sexy! It's off-the-shoulder, and goes to midthigh. With no pants on underneath, it is actually very sexy!!! I adore it a lot, and am wearing it right now! I also got a scarf with froggies on it, a Franz Ferdinand CD, a frog tealight holder which is amazing because I used to have the EXACT one before the house burned down, and I love it SO MUCH!!! When I saw it, I just about had a fit with joy! I also got a three-scent candle in berry scents which is so pretty, I love it to death! His mom bought me this beautiful charm bracelet with my name on it, and a puppy cause I love dogs, and a Princess charm cause Sean calls me his Princess, and my birthstone, and a frog and the drama masks! I love it so much!!! Also, when she went to Vancouver, there's this special kiosk in Port Coquitlam Mall, where you can "Build-a-Bear" and she made a little mini-Sean for me to carry around when I can't have my boy! It's so wonderful!!! I love him so much! His name is SAM, for Sean Alexander Mantta! (literally, he has a birth certificate, and everything! it says, he was stuffed with love by Bonnie!!!) He's such a beautiful bear...Then there were the gifts from Sean! *sigh!* First of all, there was the egg, of course that I opened Christmas Eve. Then, he also bought me a discman!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't deserve him. Not at all. I have been listening to Franz Ferdinand on it all morning! lol! But that's not all. He also bought me a diamond necklace!

......!!!!!!!! That is the hugest reason why I don't deserve that wonderful boy! He said he saw it, and it's mounted on a silver wishbone, and that's why he said it caught his eye, because I wish on EVERYTHING that is possible to wish on! It is absolutely the most wonderful thing I have ever recieved! I can't even bear to take it off for panto, that's how much of a goob I am! lol! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! (oops, didn't mean to Caps lock, but it's true, so I'll leave it! ;D )

I have been running around showing everybody who'll listen! Apparently there was this rumour going around panto that because it was a diamond that it meant I was engaged! LOL! And one of the children's chorus came up to me yesterday, and she's like, "Alleah...don't you think you're a little young to be getting married?" and I just burst out laughing, and was like, "I'm not engaged, you know!" and she was lie, "oh! ok, then!" it was so funny!

So that night, I ate a second Christmas dinner at their house, which was extremely yummy! There was a huge Christmas cracker fiasco, cause they were homemade, and no one could find the cracker part! lol! (come to think of it, there was a fiasco at my house too, because Sean cracked his before anyone else, and scared us all! I scolded him.) In my homemade cracker, made by Ian, I got Froggie soap! Oh, how themed and lovely! lol! So we ate, and I worked my way through another huge pile of mashed potatoes, which was again SO yummy!!! I DIDN'T drink wine this time, and I CERTAINLY didn't get any bit of a head from the JUICE that we did drink! lol!

Afterwards, we sat around, and watched Elf, which was funny! Apparently, I was regressing, because the burping scene reduced me to a giggling pile of Pinto on the floor! I couldn't even breathe! After that, Sean put on the third LOTR extended version, which I made it through about an hour and maybe a half of before I konked on Sean's chest! It's a four hour movie, and it was one in the morning, gimme a break! So he put me to bed lovingly, and I slept soundly until he woke me up with a kiss the next morning (oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, Mom let me sleep over at his house!!! I was so happy!), and we cuddled until eleven when I went home to get ready for Panto.

Mom and Sherayna and I (plus Kaelyn; the rest of the kids are in Sooke with their great-grandparents for the rest of X-mas vacation!) had a nice relaxing morning until it was time to drive me to Panto, wherein it got much worse. I was late, so I was yelling for Mom to hurry up, who was lookign for soem important reciept inside the house, and she came out to the truck, and totally picked a fight with me cause she was so pissed off. I was mad. But it doesn't matter. I went to Panto, and our first show was super low energy, although we had a great audience. One of the girls in Children's Chorus apparently has the stomach flu or something, cause she threw up backstageThen Mom was supposed to pick me up, and we'd go Boxing Day shopping, but she NEVER DID! So I called Sean, and Ian came to get me! (I swear, it's super super like they are family now! I even was calling his Mom "Mom" when people asked who was coming to pick me up at the end of the night.) We spent a relaxing hour or two together, doing nothing but telling each other how much we loved each other! It was energizing, and wonderful, and I love Sean Mantta with ALL MY HEART!

After though, I had to go back, and do the evening show, which turned out FABULOUS! Great energy, GREAT audience, everything was bang on! Dean was thrilled, and was profuse with his praise during intermission. It was validating, in spite of the fact that I know darn well the praise is for Jeremy, and Jen, and Elina, and Sarah, and Devin, and everybody who IS doing amazing. Not that Children's Chorus isn't doing well. But, (in my very humble opinion, don't be mad at me Barb) we don't do enough to have earned such effusive praise. We did well, and we added to the overall quality of the show, but the real praise goes to the characters who have made this show a joy to watch. They were the ones who did fabulous last night. There are people, myself being one them, who are just along for the ride at this point.

*runs from computer to Panto, frustrated at inability to continue blogging*


....



*triumphant return!*

sorry, panto was calling, and when panto calls, I must answer. in other words, I just went to the Bailey and did a matinee. now I am back,a dn ready to continue the story of the wonderful X-mas! Where was I?

After the night show, they were quite late picking me up, and I felt very guilty for that. We went to their house, and Sean and I had another very mellow few hours. We just sat and cuddled and talked until one in the morning. He told me a story about a boy who met a girl on the computer of all places, and met her and fell in love with her. At the end of the story the boy asked the girl to marry him. I said yes.....

dill pickles are so yummy!

No one was coming down to take me home, so we pretty much assumed that I was to spend the night again. Sure enough, Bonnie came downstairs, and half asleep, told me I could sleep over again if I wanted to. So Sean again, tucked me in. He's so wonderful, and loving! He takes such amazing care of me; I am so lucky to have him. I really have no idea why he picked me. It makes no sense in my brain. But I am SO GLAD he did!

So I fell asleep, and had strange dreams of performingness. I don't really remember them, only that they were about performing. This morning, I came home amid a beautiful sunrise. The air was so clear, and Sean lives up by Westwood, so coming down the hill, we could see the Rocky Mountains across the Straight of Georgia, and they were breath-taking. I have never seen a lovelier day in Nanaimo. Mom and I and Sherayna drank our morning coffee together when I got home. Kaelyn is very quet without her brothers around.

I blogged until about eleven thirty, wherein I was late for Panto if I took the bus, so I started calling around for a ride. No one could give me one! *sob* But it was ok, I took the bus, and saw Sherayna's new boyfriend-ish type person, who is a bus driver, and looks very respectable, and nice. I approve of him. I found a five dollar bill on the ground at City Centre! SCORE! I got there ten minutes late in time for a very entertaining warm-up. The show was good.

I notice an alarming trend in myself lately, of self-consciousness. I never used to be this self-conscious, ESPECIALLY not around my friends. But now I always feel like soemone is judging me, or like there's someone around who doesn't want me there, or like I'm making a fool of myself with the things I'm saying, but I just can't seem to stop because I get nervous and more stupid things come flying out of my mouth. I also notice an alarming trend in myself to not enjoy theatre as much anymore. Maybe it's just that in Panto, I don't really have that much to do, and Babel Rap and Mime was just a plain old crappy show, because I had lots of fun in Bye Bye Birdie. But I find myself coming down off of shows being like, "meh. That was alright. good audience. good energy. we messed up here and here and here." It's like there's no passion there. I want that passion back. To some extent, I've been trying to regain it by being goofy, and having fun, but I'm not sure if it's working. I hope I don't start to hate theatre.

Anyways, now I'm here, and SUPER sick of typing. goodbye.

There is acid making itself noticeable in my stomach.

arg. I am at Sean's right now. My momma should be picking us up in about twent minutes to go shopping, and then after I am going to go to his Mum's house to make pillows, and stockings. *sigh* oh, to be a crafty Pinto.

My love was in the shower but now he has emerged. There is an elusive pile of gifts under the blankets of the bed beside me, and I have been threatened with painful retribution if I am to look under them. Not that I would. But if he had just not mentioned it, I wold never have even thought to look under the blankets. What a silly Serseph.

Wow, I haven't called him that in many months...weird. Matt is coming over from Vancouver tomorrow morning...I am going to meet his ferry at nine bearing a sgin that says something witty, and engaging. He said he'd bee taking the seven'o'clock ferry from Vancouver, and going to some unknown Dairy Queen, but seeing as how we had less than five minutes to talk last night, I'll just show up at the terminal. It's easier for me, what with buses and whatnot. If whoever he's with knows which Dairy Queen they're going to then I'll be able to meet them there. I'll get someone to come with as well. Who wants to meet Matt of Vancouver tomorrow at nine w/ me???!! Hey, Llowyn, contrive to be on the same ferry, and then I'll have Barba, and probably a ride as a matter of course! lol!

This is a very random post. I think I am going to go fawn over clean and spiffy Sean now. I love him so!

Funny Things Barbara Said Last Night

Ok, so this post isn't going to completely be about that stuff, but I must mention many of them repeatedly, for tonight was a very very good night!

First of all, I'll tell you the whole story. In the morning, I was working on my Christmas gifts for people when Barba came a callin' on the tele-phone and asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her. So, I said yes because I was desperate to get more things to work on for Christmas. So I went and put away my crafts, and got ready to go, and fought a little bit with my family about how retarded our Christmas tree looks. Wow, I am confrontational. bummer.

Barb got there after sadly missing the convenient bus, so she ended up taking the inconvenient bus which passes much farther from my house than the other one, and THEN taking many detours which furthur slowed her down. This was unfortunate. Then my mum gave me and her a ride down to City Centre bus stop, where we went into Port Place Mall, and got her a day pass, and looked for a certain something that a certain someone needs for his gift. It was not in evidence for a suitable price, so we moved on.

We went into Haven House, because I am super poor and need super cheap things to make my gifts out of. I ended up buying many tea light holders for no more than fifty cents. (most of them were actually twentyfive cents.) and I bought part of my mummy's gift, and I also bought a pillow that I had been jonesing over for fifty cents. I was proud of myself! However, it was heavy and awkward. I didn't enjoy carrying it all day long.

After that, we took a looooong bus to Woodgrove. We saw a cute boy. He was attached. Neither of us paid much attention to him, for we had decided to discuss scandal. Scandal is always so much fun to talk about. Then we got to the mall, and our moods pumped up much more. We walked in through the Avalon, and tried to see if the twins were working (we discussed how if she were to see them, she wouldn't say hi, for she couldn't tell which twin was which and besides which, it's not like they know her, so she'd seem all stalker-like, and be embarrassed. Even though all she does is read their blogs! They lead interesting lives, people! Come on! jeex.

Then we went to EFAD's and I looked for cheap candy canes, but couldn't find any. So I bought part of Gator's gift, and a chocolate bar to ease my pain. My candy-cane-less pain.

Then we went into Wal-Mart to again, look for certain things for certain people. But again, there was nothing. *sigh* so we left.

after that, we wandered a little bit. We went into Silk and Satin where Barbara bought reams of festive panties, and was quite excited about that. We saw Geoff, and Lisa and Erin, and it was a little awkward until I decided to tell Erin about the fact that he tried to kiss me in my dream. He laughed. I actually didn't realize until just now that that was special because he has been in Victoria for many months. But apparently Erin was in town today.

After we randomly walked by Bryan's, and you all know me, that store must have like a magnetic pull to it, or something! I showed her the amazing four hundred dollar prom dress, and tried to show her the cheaper one, but alas, it has been sold out. TRAGEDY! alas, and alck, my life is meaningless. *sigh* but that means that there is a MINUTELY greater chance of me somehow getting the astonishingly amazing beautiful expensive one. Which I covet with all my soul. Oh how sinful of me.

After that, we caught the bus to Gator's for we were going to be late for dinner, which Gator had invited us and others to at her house. We got there, and Beebur was already there. Brianna brought the news that Geoff was going to be there that night, and my heart sank a little in dread of awkwardness to come. Which thankfully was mostly avoided all night long, excpet for a couple touchy spots. The only one I take responsibility for was the last one at the end of the night. The others I will nott ake responsibility for. Geoff is still pissy and ignoring around me for no reason. and don't try to pass it off as he is uncomfortable around me with Sean, for he was more pissy and ignoring before Sean arrived than after he arrived.

ANYWAYS... we talked for a while, and then Geoff showed up. Then Sean called because I had forgotten to call him, adn I felt bad. We arranged that he woud come to dinner instead of missing it as had been previously thought. Then Mel arrived just before dinner, and that was enjoyable. Dinner was fun except for when we got on to a touchy subject of Llowyn thinking that he was a sideshow because he's from Vancouver. Which is totally NOT what we think of him, but of course Geoff just contradicted what we had to say, and then Melly, in her zeal to keep things non-confrontational (which is to be applauded, but was a tad smidgeon stifling), totally shut us down when me and Brianna and Laura were trying to defend our view point. We do not treat Llowyn like a freakshow. We crowd around him and make a fuss when he is here because most of the time he is NOT here. That is a fact. And it offended me that we were not allowed to express ourselves in defence. Because in my (OBJECTIVE) opinion, Geoff point blank accused us of treating Llowyn like that. And then I didn't get a chance to defend myself and I felt shut down, which was not pleasant. But that is my view point, others who were there may have other view points.

The dinner was good, and the night was very funny. Sean arrived just after dinner, and I offered the girls their Sean+Alleah gifts, which Brianna figured out right away! They absolutely LOVED them! Somehow, I picked exactly the right one for both of them, for they both totally loved their surprise cones! They squealed and were happy times a lot, and I felt joyful. Then Mel decided to give out her gifts to me and Beebur. Brianna loved her hat SO MUCH!!! I thought she would. It seemed like such a HER hat! And she absolutely went crazy over it, which was great. Then Melly gave me mine, which was a GORGEOUS blue topaz and I think silver ring! It is absolutely beautiful! I went nuts over it! I am so happy someone bought me a ring, because that's all I really hoped for this Christmas! I love rings so much, any kind of ring, and I was afriad that no one was going to buy me one. But then Melly did, and I was SO WONDERFULLY HAPPY! It is absolutely beautiful, I completely adore it! I went nuts with it!

After that, we played the Romance game, my favorite board game, because I HELPED INVENT IT!!! woo-hoo!!! funnest game ever! Sean got so jealous of my Robert, it was great! I felt so good; I am such an awful person, I actually enjoy it when my boyfriend gets jealous of me! It makes me feel secure and loved...oh that is so unhealthy. But I don't care!

After that, people started leaving, and eventually, it was just me and Gator and Sean. We talked a little teensy bit, and then his mom came. As she drove us home, Sean started nagging for some food on the way home, so she stopped and we got burger king which was very generous of her! We talked for such a long time there, which was enjoyable.

Now I am home and I am exhausted. So allow me to leave you with the high lights of the night, which just happened to be pretty much EVERYTHING that came out of Barbara's mouth. here 'tis!

Funny Things Barbara Said Last Night:

-"If I had a Down Syndrome baby--I'd shoot it"

-"But what if you don't like puppies? What if you're a vegetarian?"

-"Look at my panty jewel!"

-Brianna: "...and I'd steal his boat."
Barbara: "But there'd be so much kiddie porn!"

-"I used to sleep naked, but then I'd find I'd get too distracted."


Other Funny Things from Last Night

-using the word "birth" in place of the word "burn"

-"11:02" becoming the new code word for "love note"

-the word "flaccid." especially when you say it at Mel.

-Brianna saying the word, "sucks-a-daisy"

-the word geekhole. all by itself. geekhole. ...well, at least I found it funny.




Ok, bed now. g'night, all!!!!

to be or not to be

Pinto and the Idiot's Guide to Becoming a Pantomime Actor.


-comfortability with...
a) the opposite sex
b) nudity in the vicinity of the opposite sex
c) nudity in the vicinity of the same sex
d) your own sexuality
e) the possibility/probability of being asked to wear makeup, wear women's clothing, wear men's clothing, wear a thong (that applies to men AND women), wear great quantities of spandex and grease paint, show off your body regardless of how comfortable you are with it, act like a total retard and have dignity while doing it.
f) kissing the ass of your director, stage manager, assistant stage manager(s), producer, and/or costume mistress (especially if it's Liz Mowbray of the Bailey Studio! lol!)
g) eating large quantities of popcorn, and gourmet coffee. this is apparently the diet of the professional(ish) stage actor.

-You need to have...
a) a sense of humour. THIS IS IMPERATIVE.
b) the ability to become invisible and visible at times that are convenient for the director and stage manager and producer.
c) the ability to switch from good acting/dancing/singing to crappy acting/singing/dancing in the space of time it takes to change a set and/or costume.
d) the ability to roll with the punches.
e) the ability to see and interact with the audience even though in normal theatre, this is the biggest no-no ever.
f) the ability to take a plot-line that has been recycled constantly since the beginning of time, and make it fresh and funny.
g) the ability to take a JOKE that has been recycled constantly since the beginning of time, and make it fresh and funny.


You must understand that...
a) you WILL be typecast. If you are short, you will play an animal. If you are pretty and have somewhat large breasts, you will play the brainless, two dimensional lead female. If you are tall, imposing, disapproving, and a bit ridiculous, you will play the villain. If you are none of the above, you will play chorus. This is the way it works. Get used to it.
b) traditional rules of theatre DO NOT APPLY. this is a play in THEORY ONLY. you will break almost every single onstage rule of theatre at least once in a pantomime except for the very very very basics and sometimes you will even break those.
c) I had a dream about Sean last night. i dreamt Erin Windross wanted to kiss me after he directed a bunch of school children in a rendition of ome Lion King song in a school production. Then the world was flooded, and Sean saved me by keeping me in his room at his house which was actually not his house in real life, it was completely made up in my brain. btw, I know this has nothing to do with pantomimes, I just wanted to see if you were paying attention!
d) there will be no fabulous dancing. there will be no profound acting. there will be no good songs to sing. you are not there to impress. you are there to entertain in the most meaningless, funny, child-appealing way possible. pantomimes are nothing but fun peices of fluff productions. get used to that, too.
e) and finally, BECAUSE pantomimes are nothing but meaningless fun, and goofiness, you must have a fun and goofy attitude about them. if you are spending hours agonizing over your character, you are going about the pantomime experience incorrectly. if you show up with your lines memorized, and display energy and comedic ingenuity onstage, that is a successful pantomime experience.





hmmm. I think that is a good idiot's guide to panto acting. maybe now everybody who is not a super theatre person who reads my blog will understand what it's like to be a theatre person. oh and btw Barba now undertands what I mean by Dean and the fact that I think he hates me. Now, after what happened w/ her to make her agree w/ me, I am not quite positive that it's just me he hates, I think that it's that he prefers not to spend any energy on scenery. which is essentially what children's chorus is. which comes back to the reason why I pretty much want to quit panto (even though I won't). because it is not fair to be treated like a peice of set work. I still have feelings.

I think the reason why I posted this is because I really don't understand panto acting anymore. I just don't feel in on the fun anymore. I feel like it's something reserved for characters only. And that hurts.