so...I know a bunch of people are going to Phantom in Vancouver. Brianna's going at some point from the thirteenth to the fifteenth...I'm not going to the actual show, btu I am going with her to Vancouver...so......
I'm thinking fun Vancouver trip for all the Phantom ppl!!! That is IF our schedules coincide.
SO: all y'all who are going, leave your trip details here on my comments, and I'll see if I can figure something out....
Monday, July 31, 2006
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
nothing turns me on like a good thought process.... *EDITED*
Alleah's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole damn world!
^^^ my theme song. Ace *stole it from South Park* for me! So supportive, don't you think?
I am tired. And sore. And itchy. And slightly depressed. And by slightly, I mean very, but I'm not going to get into that because no one wants to hear about it.
Instead...JULY 28TH! ...is HOT DONNA DAY!!!! We are going to go to the river! Whee!!!! I work a double that day, but I am going to try and switch both shifts around so I work tomorrow at Timmies, and Thursday at the deli, instead. Basically, I shall pull doubles Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. I make too much money. It's stupid. Even my supervisors at Timmies are like, WHy do you work so much? What's the point? All you're doing is making yourself sick. And I'm kinda like...You're right. But when it comes right down to it, I like Timmies cause it's better hours, and the shifts are so chock full of work, like there's NEVER any standing around time. But I like the deli, cause I'd have more time for a life if I worked there, plus I'm paid more there.
That paragraph totally morphed it's way around to bitching which is what I was trying to avoid, so here goes again...!
I'm SO excited to see Kaitlyn again! We talked for a long time the other day on the phone...just bitching about how much it sucks to work for a Tim Horton's. I can't wait for the shindig at the river! I'm trying to convince Ace to come, and I'm going to kick Biff in the ass until he promises me he's gonna come. Oh and all y'all in-towners, I'm DEFINITELY going to need a ride, so if someone could call me in the next little while, that would be STUPENDOUS! Not really, I just wanted to say stupendous, and then felt that it must be capitalized. But it would be pretty sweet. :)
Anyways, my tattoo is all raised and puffy...you can't see the scabs yet, but it's just beginning to itch, so it's healing very nicely. :) It means I won't be able to swim on Friday, but I shall come and wear a bathing suit to show it off anyway...:) I'll just have to sit in the shade. I know I promised you all a pic, before but my bro's camera is a whoreface. It's batteries won't recharge. And Quinn won't try to fix it.
OH! Sunday was THE shittiest day EVER! I was supposed to work a double that day, but I was totally sick the day before...like throwing up CRAZY ill, so I went home from work. The next day I got up for work, but then I was like, no...can't do it. Gotta stay home. So I called in, both places, and just vegged all day.
However a nice relaxing day of movies and eats was not was in store for me! Around eleven-ish, my brother's buddies Donnie and Ryan come stumbling in, in Ryan's crunched-up truck (you may remember them from the midnight 4-bying expedition--you know--back when my life was fun), and Donnie's all banged up, and Ryan's stumbling around and holding his head. Apparently they got into a car accident up in the mountains after drinking and 4-bying all night! *eyes rolling* Donnie was speeding ahead at seventy miles an hour, and Ryan was backing up at thirty clicks an hour, and they were stupid and ploughed RIGHT into one another!!!! Ryan had a concussion, and Donnie needed twenty stitches in his knee. So my bro took them to the hospital. And I went with to keep Ryan from falling asleep.
Afterwards, we all went back to our palce and sat around in the sun (except for me :( bummer) talking. Quinn ended up getting heatstroke like a fucker, so Jackie and Courtney nursed him while I made him food. They ran out to the Food Country to buy popsickles and shit, so I had to go in there. I didn't even know what I was supposed to do! I mean, you get heat stroke, you get headaches and nausea...They already covered him in cold wet towels and frozen veggies, so all that was left for me to do was force him to drink water every couple of minutes. It was so pointless.
Then he starts feeling better around nine-ishm, so we all head to the river. Quinn, of course, like a frickin retard keeps cliff diving, giving me and Court and Jackie heart attacks...and what happens?
He fuckin dives wrong, and practically sprains his neck! I was so irritated at him. We were only there for a half hour! I hadn't even finished one beer! I was like, you JUST got heat stroke, you KNOW you should pace yourself with diving because of your stupid bad back, OF COURSE you're gonna get hurt, you tard! SO we go home. *eye rolling AGAIN*
Lamest day ever. So the next day I got up and went to work. Halfway through my shift Marty fuckin calls and asks me to work that night at the deli, so I ended up doing another doubkle yesterday. Jesus Christ. I mean really. Hopwever the good thing about it was, I got a ride home with Tom, and didn't have to call a cab, or walk in the sun in a sweater or anything. :)
So I think that's all I have to babble about. I'm off to wash clothes and myself, and then go get Ace a tattoo, too! :)
^^^ my theme song. Ace *stole it from South Park* for me! So supportive, don't you think?
I am tired. And sore. And itchy. And slightly depressed. And by slightly, I mean very, but I'm not going to get into that because no one wants to hear about it.
Instead...JULY 28TH! ...is HOT DONNA DAY!!!! We are going to go to the river! Whee!!!! I work a double that day, but I am going to try and switch both shifts around so I work tomorrow at Timmies, and Thursday at the deli, instead. Basically, I shall pull doubles Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. I make too much money. It's stupid. Even my supervisors at Timmies are like, WHy do you work so much? What's the point? All you're doing is making yourself sick. And I'm kinda like...You're right. But when it comes right down to it, I like Timmies cause it's better hours, and the shifts are so chock full of work, like there's NEVER any standing around time. But I like the deli, cause I'd have more time for a life if I worked there, plus I'm paid more there.
That paragraph totally morphed it's way around to bitching which is what I was trying to avoid, so here goes again...!
I'm SO excited to see Kaitlyn again! We talked for a long time the other day on the phone...just bitching about how much it sucks to work for a Tim Horton's. I can't wait for the shindig at the river! I'm trying to convince Ace to come, and I'm going to kick Biff in the ass until he promises me he's gonna come. Oh and all y'all in-towners, I'm DEFINITELY going to need a ride, so if someone could call me in the next little while, that would be STUPENDOUS! Not really, I just wanted to say stupendous, and then felt that it must be capitalized. But it would be pretty sweet. :)
Anyways, my tattoo is all raised and puffy...you can't see the scabs yet, but it's just beginning to itch, so it's healing very nicely. :) It means I won't be able to swim on Friday, but I shall come and wear a bathing suit to show it off anyway...:) I'll just have to sit in the shade. I know I promised you all a pic, before but my bro's camera is a whoreface. It's batteries won't recharge. And Quinn won't try to fix it.
OH! Sunday was THE shittiest day EVER! I was supposed to work a double that day, but I was totally sick the day before...like throwing up CRAZY ill, so I went home from work. The next day I got up for work, but then I was like, no...can't do it. Gotta stay home. So I called in, both places, and just vegged all day.
However a nice relaxing day of movies and eats was not was in store for me! Around eleven-ish, my brother's buddies Donnie and Ryan come stumbling in, in Ryan's crunched-up truck (you may remember them from the midnight 4-bying expedition--you know--back when my life was fun), and Donnie's all banged up, and Ryan's stumbling around and holding his head. Apparently they got into a car accident up in the mountains after drinking and 4-bying all night! *eyes rolling* Donnie was speeding ahead at seventy miles an hour, and Ryan was backing up at thirty clicks an hour, and they were stupid and ploughed RIGHT into one another!!!! Ryan had a concussion, and Donnie needed twenty stitches in his knee. So my bro took them to the hospital. And I went with to keep Ryan from falling asleep.
Afterwards, we all went back to our palce and sat around in the sun (except for me :( bummer) talking. Quinn ended up getting heatstroke like a fucker, so Jackie and Courtney nursed him while I made him food. They ran out to the Food Country to buy popsickles and shit, so I had to go in there. I didn't even know what I was supposed to do! I mean, you get heat stroke, you get headaches and nausea...They already covered him in cold wet towels and frozen veggies, so all that was left for me to do was force him to drink water every couple of minutes. It was so pointless.
Then he starts feeling better around nine-ishm, so we all head to the river. Quinn, of course, like a frickin retard keeps cliff diving, giving me and Court and Jackie heart attacks...and what happens?
He fuckin dives wrong, and practically sprains his neck! I was so irritated at him. We were only there for a half hour! I hadn't even finished one beer! I was like, you JUST got heat stroke, you KNOW you should pace yourself with diving because of your stupid bad back, OF COURSE you're gonna get hurt, you tard! SO we go home. *eye rolling AGAIN*
Lamest day ever. So the next day I got up and went to work. Halfway through my shift Marty fuckin calls and asks me to work that night at the deli, so I ended up doing another doubkle yesterday. Jesus Christ. I mean really. Hopwever the good thing about it was, I got a ride home with Tom, and didn't have to call a cab, or walk in the sun in a sweater or anything. :)
So I think that's all I have to babble about. I'm off to wash clothes and myself, and then go get Ace a tattoo, too! :)
Sunday, July 23, 2006
I am Jack's tender inky skin
Guess who is NO LONGER a tattoo virgin? Guess who has broken their body modification cherry? Guess who will have a glorious stargazer lily on their should for the rest of their life??!!!
ME!!!!!
Last night I got my very first tatto on my shoulder!!!! It is SO pretty! I will post a picture super soon, so all y'all can gaze upon it's splendor.
Is it just me, or do tattoos just up your sexiness level by ten thousand points??? I used to like my shoulders. Now, they are EASILY the bestest most favoritist part of my body! So skinny, and defined, and now permanently adorned with pink and green and black! :D
I am Jack's big cheesy grin.
(can you tell, I watched Fight Club yesterday? :P)
It's all tender and sore now, but in such a good way. The only time I really got nervous last night was JUST before he put the gun in my skin at first. He kept flicking the switch on and off, and I was like, ACK! *cringe*, scared scared scared. But then he started, and I was like...oh. This isn't so bad.
Actually it was kinda funny. He started in a fleshy part, so it didn;'t hurt as much, but then he went onto the bone, and that hurt like a bitch. But then he would go back onto a fleshy part and I would relax so much, and I would practically not even feel it. Once I almost fell asleep before he went back onto a bone, and made me go RAWR.
BTW..."he" refers to the bestest, most New Zealandist, HOTTEST fucking tattoo artist on the face of the planet!!! And he's not bad at what he does either! :P ;D With his sexy accent, and adorable eyes, and talent at cool-ifying my ex-virgin skin, well, I must say, I have a big girly crush on him now!
Ace, there is TOTALLY an ulterior motive to going with you to get yours done next week! :P
Anyways, no real news other than that. I have given up hope on my truck as I just don't have the bucks. Let alone the time, and pocket change to get it fixed up. Knowing Quinn, he'd make me do the work myself, and just help me along. :P
...but at least I have a tattoo! :)
ME!!!!!
Last night I got my very first tatto on my shoulder!!!! It is SO pretty! I will post a picture super soon, so all y'all can gaze upon it's splendor.
Is it just me, or do tattoos just up your sexiness level by ten thousand points??? I used to like my shoulders. Now, they are EASILY the bestest most favoritist part of my body! So skinny, and defined, and now permanently adorned with pink and green and black! :D
I am Jack's big cheesy grin.
(can you tell, I watched Fight Club yesterday? :P)
It's all tender and sore now, but in such a good way. The only time I really got nervous last night was JUST before he put the gun in my skin at first. He kept flicking the switch on and off, and I was like, ACK! *cringe*, scared scared scared. But then he started, and I was like...oh. This isn't so bad.
Actually it was kinda funny. He started in a fleshy part, so it didn;'t hurt as much, but then he went onto the bone, and that hurt like a bitch. But then he would go back onto a fleshy part and I would relax so much, and I would practically not even feel it. Once I almost fell asleep before he went back onto a bone, and made me go RAWR.
BTW..."he" refers to the bestest, most New Zealandist, HOTTEST fucking tattoo artist on the face of the planet!!! And he's not bad at what he does either! :P ;D With his sexy accent, and adorable eyes, and talent at cool-ifying my ex-virgin skin, well, I must say, I have a big girly crush on him now!
Ace, there is TOTALLY an ulterior motive to going with you to get yours done next week! :P
Anyways, no real news other than that. I have given up hope on my truck as I just don't have the bucks. Let alone the time, and pocket change to get it fixed up. Knowing Quinn, he'd make me do the work myself, and just help me along. :P
...but at least I have a tattoo! :)
Saturday, July 15, 2006
survey of Pinto the Emo-est! (emost if you will)
I've decided to take on an alter-ego for this survey. because nothing else will do. :)
Finish the sentence:
1. My ex is: a black exacto knife cutting chunks out of my shriveled heart.
2. I am listening to: the voices
3. Maybe I should: throw myself off a tall building. hopefully I'll land on someone who hates themselves as much as I do.
4. I love: nothing
5. My bestfriend is: the bleakness of my wasted life that is with me always.
6. I don't understand: what's not to understand? life sucks, and I am hellspawn.
7. I lost: everything
8. People say: stuff, but I can't hear it because of the buzzing in my ears from all the emotional torture I go through from the time I open my bloodshot eyes from the time I fall asleep, wishing I wouldn't wake up.
9. The meaning of my screen name: ****___~~~~*~**~^%#@&*(~~~***^$@#$^&#@%%^$^$^$%^DiEdIeDiE***%^$!~*()(&$@@!!~~~~~~****^&%&------#!~~~~!#%*())())()))(******************** the meaning of my screen name is that I am just too sad to say anything, so I express my emotions in symbol.
10. Love is: something only the priveledged feel. I have nothing but my envy and pain.
11. Somewhere, someone is: cutting out a little doll that looks just like me, with my asymetrical haircut, and all-black attire, and they are sticking needles into that poor little dolls heart over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER....again.
12. I will always try to be: like no one else...all those other little emo kids think they have it so tough, but they don't know what REAL pain looks like!!!! (I take back those exclamation marks)
13. Forever seems: too short a time for my pain to exist...my heartbreak, and misery will last long after my death and the deaths of those who have made me this way.
14. I never want to: understand your happy little world with your money and your friends and your family dinners. You need to watch your blood flowing in the streets to UNDERSTAND!!!! (again, I take back those exclamation marks)
15. My cell phone: is lonely--like my heart.
16. When I wake up in the morning, I: take five pain killers and cut myself so I bleed--like my heart.
17. I get annoyed: when people don't understand that to me, the world is black--like my heart.
18. Parties are: a cruel invention created for the sole purpose of making me feel like even more of a loner freak than I already do. I take the opportunity to take more drugs and cut myself with other people, because they won't remember why they're covered in blood in the morning. I'll tell them they spilt their vodka ceasar.
19. My Dog is: dead--like my heart
20. Kisses are the best when: mixed with my blood and tears
21. Today I might: write an epic poem showing through medieval metaphor and imagery how right my emo philosophy is and how one day all those who oppose me will burn in hell.
23. Tomorrow I will: die a painless death with any luck.
24. I really want: this hurt to stop (but not really)
25. I am: pure pain in human form
*snicker*
Finish the sentence:
1. My ex is: a black exacto knife cutting chunks out of my shriveled heart.
2. I am listening to: the voices
3. Maybe I should: throw myself off a tall building. hopefully I'll land on someone who hates themselves as much as I do.
4. I love: nothing
5. My bestfriend is: the bleakness of my wasted life that is with me always.
6. I don't understand: what's not to understand? life sucks, and I am hellspawn.
7. I lost: everything
8. People say: stuff, but I can't hear it because of the buzzing in my ears from all the emotional torture I go through from the time I open my bloodshot eyes from the time I fall asleep, wishing I wouldn't wake up.
9. The meaning of my screen name: ****___~~~~*~**~^%#@&*(~~~***^$@#$^&#@%%^$^$^$%^DiEdIeDiE***%^$!~*()(&$@@!!~~~~~~****^&%&------#!~~~~!#%*())())()))(******************** the meaning of my screen name is that I am just too sad to say anything, so I express my emotions in symbol.
10. Love is: something only the priveledged feel. I have nothing but my envy and pain.
11. Somewhere, someone is: cutting out a little doll that looks just like me, with my asymetrical haircut, and all-black attire, and they are sticking needles into that poor little dolls heart over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER....again.
12. I will always try to be: like no one else...all those other little emo kids think they have it so tough, but they don't know what REAL pain looks like!!!! (I take back those exclamation marks)
13. Forever seems: too short a time for my pain to exist...my heartbreak, and misery will last long after my death and the deaths of those who have made me this way.
14. I never want to: understand your happy little world with your money and your friends and your family dinners. You need to watch your blood flowing in the streets to UNDERSTAND!!!! (again, I take back those exclamation marks)
15. My cell phone: is lonely--like my heart.
16. When I wake up in the morning, I: take five pain killers and cut myself so I bleed--like my heart.
17. I get annoyed: when people don't understand that to me, the world is black--like my heart.
18. Parties are: a cruel invention created for the sole purpose of making me feel like even more of a loner freak than I already do. I take the opportunity to take more drugs and cut myself with other people, because they won't remember why they're covered in blood in the morning. I'll tell them they spilt their vodka ceasar.
19. My Dog is: dead--like my heart
20. Kisses are the best when: mixed with my blood and tears
21. Today I might: write an epic poem showing through medieval metaphor and imagery how right my emo philosophy is and how one day all those who oppose me will burn in hell.
23. Tomorrow I will: die a painless death with any luck.
24. I really want: this hurt to stop (but not really)
25. I am: pure pain in human form
*snicker*
Friday, July 14, 2006
so is a punch in the face...
so...my title is something I said a little while agotnhat inspired events which led to the mood I'm in which led to me wanting to post.
I am very very unhappy. Also very drunk, so bear with me.
I feel like people don;t like me. Especially when I'm drunk. Sometimes I think it's because they';re just joking vause it's funny cause I'm such a cheap drunk./ Other times I think it's because they genuinely don't like me. That may be my paranoid side. Or it may be my uncommonly percfeptive side. Point is, most of the time, I can't decoide which side it really is. And being a cheap drunk, mosty of the time I can't/won't deal with it, as I am--(duh)--drunk.
I hate myself somewtimes. A whole lot.
And then there'd othertimes that I love myself a whole frickjin lot. I've felt bnoth extremes tonight. bah.
Mel's not in a good mood. I must investigate. Good bye.
I am very very unhappy. Also very drunk, so bear with me.
I feel like people don;t like me. Especially when I'm drunk. Sometimes I think it's because they';re just joking vause it's funny cause I'm such a cheap drunk./ Other times I think it's because they genuinely don't like me. That may be my paranoid side. Or it may be my uncommonly percfeptive side. Point is, most of the time, I can't decoide which side it really is. And being a cheap drunk, mosty of the time I can't/won't deal with it, as I am--(duh)--drunk.
I hate myself somewtimes. A whole lot.
And then there'd othertimes that I love myself a whole frickjin lot. I've felt bnoth extremes tonight. bah.
Mel's not in a good mood. I must investigate. Good bye.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
for donna (and a little something for Ace, too)
(Ace)
because my life is the same old work-work-(Ace)-work, I shall now share a story I hinted about enigmatically on donna's blog. :) It's about the three of the most retarded customers in the whole world and how they descend on hapless unsuspecting stores all in a row.
So I'm working at the deli, right. I was probably in a bad (Ace)mood. I was in quite a lot of them last week. Actually I'm pretty sure I was cause that was the day I worked with Nicole the Infamous Ugmo. Anyways, I'm in the middle of wrapping up these sausage rolls that had just come out of the oven. This old man is in the back of the deli, because he had to use the phone, so he's watching everything I'm doing. After he's (Ace) finished, before leaving the back, he comes up to me, and asks if he can have some of the sausage rolls I'm wrapping. I say, there are some out on the shelves. And he gives me a big endearing elderly smile, and says yeah, but these are fresh. And I was just like whatever, if I argue, I'll get in trouble. So I ask how many he wants. He says four. And then proceeds to take five minutes (each) deciding which sausage rolls he wants. Now in between this, I have to pick up the sausage rolls, run to the overwrap, wrap it up, price it individually, and (Ace) put it in a bag. So finally he gets to four, and by this time there's other customers waiting, he's STILL behind the deli, and I'm behind about two sausage rolls, because the pricer is being a whore. SO I have to tell the other customers that they have to wait, which puts instant bitchy looks on all their faces. (Ace)
Finally I have the last one wrapped, and the old man goes, actually I want this one, too. So I pick that one up and run over to overwrap it and price it. When I get back with that one, he says, is it cheaper to get them in packages of six? because maybe then I'll get another one. I'm le PISSED by now, so I (Ace) say, sir, if you want six, you have to go get the ones that are out there, because these are already priced individually, and I won't repackage them for you. So he says ok, in his bumbling silly old man kind of way, and starts to amble out. I go to change my gloves to serve the next customer, when suddenly he stops just before exiting the deli, and say, "can I get a large of this potato salad?" I finish going crazy, and smile calmly (because I'm crazy and crazy people always smile calmly) (Ace) and say sure. So I start to get him his potato salad, and he's still behind the deli, and I want to tell him to get the (Ace) FUCK out, ebcause he shouldn't be back there, and he starts being a whore about his potato salad, too! Like, he started being like don't pack it down too much! (Ace) Oh but that's not enough, try to get some more in there! (Ace) That peice dropped back in and I want it, cause it's an egg peice! (Ace) That spoon scraped the side of the window, please go get a clean one!
*****
(Ace)
HE ACTUALLY FUCKING SAID THAT!
finally, I looked at the bakery girl (because I'm actually working by myself) and there's this huge line, and I say, "can you please finish this man's order, I've got a huge line." So she says ok.
I move on. The next lady has been standing there almost twelve minutes--TO ASK FOR A BARBEQUED CHICKEN!!!!!! I just looked at her, and pretty much snapped, "it's open, get it yourself" and she laughed like a retard suburban housewife and got it herself.
On to Idiot Customer #3. He's hovering in front of the salads. For this story, I shall borrow Kaitlyn's Idiot Customer story format. (Ace) (my thoughts are in italics)
Stupid-(Ace)Whore(Ace)-Man: (Ace) what's the difference between the potato salads?
Me: this one is made with red potato, and this one has egg. (btw, the names on the tags are "Red Potato Salad with Dijon" and "Deluxe Potato Salad with Egg")
Stupid-Whore-Man: (Ace) How much would an extra large be of the potato salad?
Me: around eleven dollars. It's a pretty heavy salad.
Stupid-Whore-Man: (Ace) what about the other one?
Me: about the same.
Stupid-Whore-Man: (Ace) what's in this one? (pointing at something)
Me: which one?
Stupid-Whore-Man: this one (still pointing)
Me: I can't see what you're pointing at.
Stupid-Whore-Man: the dollar-forty-nine one.
Me: 'do you really think I can see the price you fucking idiot shit head????' you mean the deluxe?
Stupid-Whore-Man: yeah. (Ace)
Me: egg. 'EGG EGG EGG EGG EGG EGG YOU STUPID DUMB SHIT MOTHER FUCKING BRAINLESS PEICE OF EXCREMENT!!!!!! READ THE FRICKIN SIGN!!!!!!!'
Stupid-Whore-Man: oh. I'll get an extra large of both.
Me: 'FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKFDHGBASDyuigvagoyuidhgzsod
HBFVLAHSDFGVOASHDGVAOSEHFDBVLASHJDBVLASUDGFPASUIDJBV;sjkDBV;sujDPjfs
hjdvbshjdfbvlsdhfjbvlzdjkbsodjfb;sdfojkbn'df;kbnz'sdfkbnz'dkfnb'zdkfnb'zsdkfnb'zsdklnf'baK
bfdhbaolwrhuigLHJ;JGH;SDJFGS;EDUJGHAP;JRGBA;SDFJKGA;SDHJKGGAWDHJIODFH
BSDFDFHSDGFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK' (Ace) ...ok.
FINALLY, finally when the customers were all gone, I go over to Sarah the poor girl who the elderly shithead got foisted off, and told her about the retarded housewife shithead, and the shithead with ADD. She told me about how the elderly shithead made her get two more salads, and did the same thing with those two, too, before leaving deli. We sat there venting to anyone who would listen, until the senior bakery girl cae over and said, "next time just tell them they can't be back here, and to wait for their food out with the other customers."
After that I prayed for the elderly shithead to come back! (Ace)
(And if you're wondering why you so many "Ace"'s in here, it's because he only scans my blog to find his name and what I wrote about him, so I decided to punish him for not paying proper attention to my riveting work of art. ;D)
because my life is the same old work-work-(Ace)-work, I shall now share a story I hinted about enigmatically on donna's blog. :) It's about the three of the most retarded customers in the whole world and how they descend on hapless unsuspecting stores all in a row.
So I'm working at the deli, right. I was probably in a bad (Ace)mood. I was in quite a lot of them last week. Actually I'm pretty sure I was cause that was the day I worked with Nicole the Infamous Ugmo. Anyways, I'm in the middle of wrapping up these sausage rolls that had just come out of the oven. This old man is in the back of the deli, because he had to use the phone, so he's watching everything I'm doing. After he's (Ace) finished, before leaving the back, he comes up to me, and asks if he can have some of the sausage rolls I'm wrapping. I say, there are some out on the shelves. And he gives me a big endearing elderly smile, and says yeah, but these are fresh. And I was just like whatever, if I argue, I'll get in trouble. So I ask how many he wants. He says four. And then proceeds to take five minutes (each) deciding which sausage rolls he wants. Now in between this, I have to pick up the sausage rolls, run to the overwrap, wrap it up, price it individually, and (Ace) put it in a bag. So finally he gets to four, and by this time there's other customers waiting, he's STILL behind the deli, and I'm behind about two sausage rolls, because the pricer is being a whore. SO I have to tell the other customers that they have to wait, which puts instant bitchy looks on all their faces. (Ace)
Finally I have the last one wrapped, and the old man goes, actually I want this one, too. So I pick that one up and run over to overwrap it and price it. When I get back with that one, he says, is it cheaper to get them in packages of six? because maybe then I'll get another one. I'm le PISSED by now, so I (Ace) say, sir, if you want six, you have to go get the ones that are out there, because these are already priced individually, and I won't repackage them for you. So he says ok, in his bumbling silly old man kind of way, and starts to amble out. I go to change my gloves to serve the next customer, when suddenly he stops just before exiting the deli, and say, "can I get a large of this potato salad?" I finish going crazy, and smile calmly (because I'm crazy and crazy people always smile calmly) (Ace) and say sure. So I start to get him his potato salad, and he's still behind the deli, and I want to tell him to get the (Ace) FUCK out, ebcause he shouldn't be back there, and he starts being a whore about his potato salad, too! Like, he started being like don't pack it down too much! (Ace) Oh but that's not enough, try to get some more in there! (Ace) That peice dropped back in and I want it, cause it's an egg peice! (Ace) That spoon scraped the side of the window, please go get a clean one!
*****
(Ace)
HE ACTUALLY FUCKING SAID THAT!
finally, I looked at the bakery girl (because I'm actually working by myself) and there's this huge line, and I say, "can you please finish this man's order, I've got a huge line." So she says ok.
I move on. The next lady has been standing there almost twelve minutes--TO ASK FOR A BARBEQUED CHICKEN!!!!!! I just looked at her, and pretty much snapped, "it's open, get it yourself" and she laughed like a retard suburban housewife and got it herself.
On to Idiot Customer #3. He's hovering in front of the salads. For this story, I shall borrow Kaitlyn's Idiot Customer story format. (Ace) (my thoughts are in italics)
Stupid-(Ace)Whore(Ace)-Man: (Ace) what's the difference between the potato salads?
Me: this one is made with red potato, and this one has egg. (btw, the names on the tags are "Red Potato Salad with Dijon" and "Deluxe Potato Salad with Egg")
Stupid-Whore-Man: (Ace) How much would an extra large be of the potato salad?
Me: around eleven dollars. It's a pretty heavy salad.
Stupid-Whore-Man: (Ace) what about the other one?
Me: about the same.
Stupid-Whore-Man: (Ace) what's in this one? (pointing at something)
Me: which one?
Stupid-Whore-Man: this one (still pointing)
Me: I can't see what you're pointing at.
Stupid-Whore-Man: the dollar-forty-nine one.
Me: 'do you really think I can see the price you fucking idiot shit head????' you mean the deluxe?
Stupid-Whore-Man: yeah. (Ace)
Me: egg. 'EGG EGG EGG EGG EGG EGG YOU STUPID DUMB SHIT MOTHER FUCKING BRAINLESS PEICE OF EXCREMENT!!!!!! READ THE FRICKIN SIGN!!!!!!!'
Stupid-Whore-Man: oh. I'll get an extra large of both.
Me: 'FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKFDHGBASDyuigvagoyuidhgzsod
HBFVLAHSDFGVOASHDGVAOSEHFDBVLASHJDBVLASUDGFPASUIDJBV;sjkDBV;sujDPjfs
hjdvbshjdfbvlsdhfjbvlzdjkbsodjfb;sdfojkbn'df;kbnz'sdfkbnz'dkfnb'zdkfnb'zsdkfnb'zsdklnf'baK
bfdhbaolwrhuigLHJ;JGH;SDJFGS;EDUJGHAP;JRGBA;SDFJKGA;SDHJKGGAWDHJIODFH
BSDFDFHSDGFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK' (Ace) ...ok.
FINALLY, finally when the customers were all gone, I go over to Sarah the poor girl who the elderly shithead got foisted off, and told her about the retarded housewife shithead, and the shithead with ADD. She told me about how the elderly shithead made her get two more salads, and did the same thing with those two, too, before leaving deli. We sat there venting to anyone who would listen, until the senior bakery girl cae over and said, "next time just tell them they can't be back here, and to wait for their food out with the other customers."
After that I prayed for the elderly shithead to come back! (Ace)
(And if you're wondering why you so many "Ace"'s in here, it's because he only scans my blog to find his name and what I wrote about him, so I decided to punish him for not paying proper attention to my riveting work of art. ;D)
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
I am the most awesomest of awesome!!!
Today was my gig with theatre one! :D bestest most crazy sweet day EVER! I started at ten thirty, and we all just sort of sat around the board room table talking before we started the read through. It was me, Lee, Burt, the writer Kim, and the other actors were Yvonne (playing Jocelyn), Adrian (playing Frank; whom I now have a little school girl crush on), Russell (playing one of the three male actors) and Michael (playing the other male actor). It was a pretty frickin awesome read through I think. I did pretty well, and I just fell in love with Adrian's voice! He's just an amazing actor! Great energy. He wasn't just reading, he was really getting into it, right up to making his water bottle into props, and whatnot. He even left the room a couple of times because of what the scene had his character doing! It was great. Anyways, when we finally broke for lunch, we all headed to Tina's behind the Arts Centre on Commercial. (Ace, you and I have been there before) and I sat with Lee, Yvonne and Adrian, talking shop. It was so great. I learned so much about the reality of being a working Canadian actor from today. We talked all about various theatre experiences, about the show, about what else we did. Adrian teaches at Spotlight! The adult on-camera classes. It might be a good idea...
Anyways, when we came back from lunch it was discussion time. I'm not actually doing the show. It won't get into production until April of next year. But the playwright was workshopping it and that's what Burt called me for. So we started just kind of complaining about it! lol! And there were some really really excellent ideas thrown out. I think the best one came from Michael. The scene in question was where Frank was just kind of standing on stage, and it kind of molds from party to party...one's a wedding, a funeral, a retirement party, and they're all for this mysterious "Bill"! The idea behind it was that Frank Ney went to so many functions that he never really knew the people who's big day it was. And I've always loved the scene, but the other experienced actors were all unsatisfied with it. Then Michael throws out the idea to make each transition a little shorter, and build the momentum that way and then finally Frank ends up back at home with his daughter Michele and there's a profound moment in the play. I won't spoil it for you, cause I want every single one of you to come see it. But I thought that his idea was the best thing I'd heard ever!
So that was le super awesome! And the writer Kim adored me, cause I was the only one who appreciated the "Bill" metaphor. :P And the best thing about the whole thing is that---I GET TO DO IT TOMORROW TOO!!! :D
In other news, work sucks, I'm buying a Bronco, and moving has been put on hold. And the Canadian government are ass-bastards. Guess who DIDN'T get to take her L test today because she's an orphan? YEAH! that's right! ME! I either have to wait six months until I'm nineteen (OUT of the question); wait two months for Sherayna to get full guardianship papers which is NOT going to happen, cause it'll royally fuck with my life and the things that I can and can't do; OR pay sixty fucking dollars to get a letter of support from my fucking optometrist! I HATE LIFE! Whatever. Fuck the world. I'm buying my truck, and I am driving to work.
I miss you guys. I no longer have a social life, and it saddens me. But I keep telling myself, it's only until September, and I get my Student Loan. It's enough to tide me for the last three months until December when I get my settlement money! :D Plus I'll have saved up a fucking shitload from right now. I've been working sixty plus hours a week for the past four weeks. This week, I'm working ninety-six hours between my two jobs and my gig. o_O
So yeah, things are a little hard right now. But mostly things are pretty frickin sweet ass!!!!
Anyways, when we came back from lunch it was discussion time. I'm not actually doing the show. It won't get into production until April of next year. But the playwright was workshopping it and that's what Burt called me for. So we started just kind of complaining about it! lol! And there were some really really excellent ideas thrown out. I think the best one came from Michael. The scene in question was where Frank was just kind of standing on stage, and it kind of molds from party to party...one's a wedding, a funeral, a retirement party, and they're all for this mysterious "Bill"! The idea behind it was that Frank Ney went to so many functions that he never really knew the people who's big day it was. And I've always loved the scene, but the other experienced actors were all unsatisfied with it. Then Michael throws out the idea to make each transition a little shorter, and build the momentum that way and then finally Frank ends up back at home with his daughter Michele and there's a profound moment in the play. I won't spoil it for you, cause I want every single one of you to come see it. But I thought that his idea was the best thing I'd heard ever!
So that was le super awesome! And the writer Kim adored me, cause I was the only one who appreciated the "Bill" metaphor. :P And the best thing about the whole thing is that---I GET TO DO IT TOMORROW TOO!!! :D
In other news, work sucks, I'm buying a Bronco, and moving has been put on hold. And the Canadian government are ass-bastards. Guess who DIDN'T get to take her L test today because she's an orphan? YEAH! that's right! ME! I either have to wait six months until I'm nineteen (OUT of the question); wait two months for Sherayna to get full guardianship papers which is NOT going to happen, cause it'll royally fuck with my life and the things that I can and can't do; OR pay sixty fucking dollars to get a letter of support from my fucking optometrist! I HATE LIFE! Whatever. Fuck the world. I'm buying my truck, and I am driving to work.
I miss you guys. I no longer have a social life, and it saddens me. But I keep telling myself, it's only until September, and I get my Student Loan. It's enough to tide me for the last three months until December when I get my settlement money! :D Plus I'll have saved up a fucking shitload from right now. I've been working sixty plus hours a week for the past four weeks. This week, I'm working ninety-six hours between my two jobs and my gig. o_O
So yeah, things are a little hard right now. But mostly things are pretty frickin sweet ass!!!!
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