I hate the world.
I am sorry for this bile-ridden, rage post of doom, but I have not had a very spectacular morning at all.
This day started out craptastic, and when I say craptastic, I mean absolutely horrendously, vicously, death-in-a-pretty-wrapped-basket crappy. I woke up this morning to my sister screaming at me because she could not find this "modem" thing that she was supposed to give to some technician guy for some stupid reason. She asked me if I knew where it was, and I was like, "mrrgh, no I don't, go away so I can sleep." pretty reasonable, right? I mean, she freaking woke me up!
So she's all like, "it was in the front hallway, and you said that you cleaned the hallway up, so you must have seen it, sometime, didn't you?" I was like, "no, I didn't see the modem, and I didn't clean up the hallway. get out so I can sleep!" so she finally left, and I was like, ok, whatever, sleeping now. I wasn't terribly upset about anything at that point just tired.
Well she continues to search for her AWOL modem, and I can hear her downstairs, freaking out and screaming at nothing because she cannot find her stupid modem. Finally I hear her clomping back up the stairs, and I'm like, goddamn, you better not come in this room, and what does she do? Burst in, freaking out at the top of her lungs, screaming, "I can't find my modem, and I have to give it to the guy," (?), "and it was in the hallway, which you said that YOU cleaned up, so you must have moved it, or touched it or seen it or something! Tell me where the modem is!"
!!! I was just like, wtf, you bitch! What gives YOU the right to come storming into MY room, where I am doing nothing but SLEEPING, and accuse ME of taking YOUR goddamn modem for SOMETHING TO DO???!!! So I screamed, "get the fuck out of my room if you are going to be such a stupid bitch! You have no right to come in here, freaking out at me like that!" and she scrramed something back at me, and I scrramed something back at her, and finally I just stand up, walk to the door, grab it, she's standing at the door screeching like insane succubus whore from the depths of hell, and I try to shut it, saying simply, "goodbye."
well she grabs the door, wrenches it out of my hands, walks up to my face, screams somthing in my face, and pushes me backwards onto the bed.
...
I flipped. I jumped off the bed, leapt on her, and started punching her as hard as I could, screaming at her to never touch me like that again. She starts punching me back, and we're fistfighting in the hall, and finally I'm like, where the hell is Mom? So I go downstairs, and try to find her so that someone can mediate this ridiculous thing, and she's nowhere to be found. What the hell? So now I have to deal with this crazy bitch all by myself? So she comes downstairs, still shrieking obscenities at me, she grabs my arm again. I freak out again, and start swinging.
I finally get entirely sick of this bullshit, and walk into the den to call 911. I was not dealing with this crap! How can she justify walking into my room, accusing me of taking something, and then attacking me? I stand by my decision to call the cops on her, btw. I made the decision in my head, and no sooner than thinking it, was on my way to do it. There was no hesitation, and I am not sorry for it. I feel I was in the right.
So I pick up the phone, dial 911, and as soon as my sister realizes what I'm doing, leaps on me, and tries to wrestle the phone out of my hand. Now come on, what do you think a dispatcher is going to think with a girl screaming, "I need help, my sister's attacking me, 908 Hecate!" and someone obviously pushing her around from the way her voice sounds? Well, needless to say, the police were there within five minutes. I thought the dispatcher hadn't heard anything, so I had gone over to the neighbor's house to use their phone. The whole time, Sherayna is hanging out the dining room window with Nicky, shrieking things at me, like, "look what you went and did, you stupid little bitch, now the cops are coming," and other things not printable in this blog. All I did was finger her.
Well, when they got there, I was waiting for them out front. The cop gets out of his car, and is just like, "so what's going on here?" Of course, what does Sherayna do? She leaps into her side of the story. She doesn't bother telling him what happened, only, "I'm sorry, my little sister happens to have a big mouth, and she doesn't know when to shut it She's sixteen, and a little theatrical," (no shit that's what she said!), "and she unfortunately she seems to think she has the right to let the entire neighborhood know when we are having a fight withthe volume of her carrying on."
That is very close to exactly what she said. No explanation as to what happened, just blame. It's all her fault, officer, look how innocent I am, I'm carrying a baby.
He didn't say anything, just looked at me, and said what happened? I had just stood there through her entire tirade silently, so already she looked a bit like a fool for accusing me of something that I was not presently doing. I think the fact that I was standing there in my pjs, no shoes or socks on my feet, no glasses, and shaking like a leaf helped my credibility a little.
So i told him my story. Exactly what I just told you. Well, the ending was a little anticlimactic. Because niether of us had any obvious marks on us, he didn't offer to allow me to press charges. He asked us what our plans were now, and I said, "I want to get the hell out of here for a little while, I cannot be in this house anymore." So he told me to go and get dressed, and go somewhere else for a couple of hours to cool off.
So I did. God only knows what Sherayna told him while I went and got dressed. For that matter, God only knows what she told Mom when Mom got home!
I walked downtown, got onto a bus, and somehow ended up at Geoff's house. I don't remember anything. I don't remember which bus I took, although I'm pretty sure it was the number two, cause I ended up at the bottom of Nottingham Rd, and I didn't change buses at all. I started walking up the road, and I only woke up when I saw a blue minivan go by, looked in, and saw Geoff at the wheel. Then i realized where I was, and decided to go home. The next bus didn't come for a full hour, so I just sat on the bus stop, thinking. It was unpleasant to say the least. Unfortunately, about five minutes before my bus came, Geoff showed up, asking why I had come to his house, and acting all distant, and hate-like. All I could tell him was, "I dunno." over and over again, and "I came here cause I was sad." that's all I could say cause my brain just would not process his questions. My bus came, and I got on it, and all he did was just stare quizzically at me through the window until I pulled away. I felt bad.
On the bus ride home, I started to feel human again. When I got off at City Centre, I saw quite a few people I knew, but whom I didn't want to tell about my morning. Talking to them actually helped my brain start functioning again, cause I had to at least attempt to act normal. I saw Barb just before I got onto my bus, and she knew there was something wrong with me right away. Friend of the week? Barb, for sure. I mean, she doesn't know anything about my shitty morning, but she knows I had one.
I got home, and Mom was in the den with Sherayna. I don't know what my sister told Mum, but, like I said to Mom, whatever it was was either incomplete at best, or an outright lie at worst. The first thing Mom said to me, was, "whatever you do, Alleah, keep family sqaubbles in the family,"
I was so shocked! I was like, "don't you dare try to put the blame on me. I was in the right."
Eventually, I just walked out of the house, and hung out with the dogs. I was not going to listen to anything Mom has to say WITH Sherayna in the room, because whatever it will be will be biased against me. That's always the way it's been with fights between me and Sherayna. Mom has never, not ONCE taken my side against Sherayna in an argument. Even though, well come on, complaints against her cleanliness are pretty open-close, right? Diapers, baby food jars, kid's clothing are pretty easily traceable back to her. And yet, for asking her (note, asking, NOT complaining) to clean them up is somehow my fault. Well, back to the point, I figured if Mom wanted to talk to me, she could talk to me on my own ground without Sherayna interfering with what I was saying.
So I told her my story, and frankly, I believe she agrees with me on a lot of it. I don't think Sherayna told her the whole truth about anything that happened.
So anyways, that has been my horrible horrible morning. I am sorry for the change of tone. Fun With Pinto has become Oh God, Now I Have to Listen to Pinto Whine Blog of Crappiness.
life sucks. I'll be funny tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
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3 comments:
who cares if you're funny. if you have a crappy day, you have just as much right to write about it then if you had a happy-happy-sunshine day.
Oh sweetie... :( We were all worried about you at Geoff's place... I hope your tomorrow is way better.
I hope your more newer days have been better *thumbs up* I love you and miss you, plz call me!
Mel
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