bummer. and a half. I am offtage right now, as Honestly Sincere, my favorite song in Bye Bye Birdie plays maliciously behind me. Why am I not on, you ask? Well. for starters, it's Kelsey's turn to practice this number. She's filling in for me on opening night, cause I'll be away at the choir show for the first act. Also, my idiot partner Tony Retard-o happens to be sick, and not at the dress rehearsal, which means that we won't get to run the curtain call properly. Urgfh, everybody is irritated at him for being so unprofessional.
I hope nobody that I like goes on opening night, cause that's the day that I'll only be here for half of it. It's kind of creepy to know that tomorrow night, we'll be doing this show with an audience in the auditorium. ack! I hope Megan Russel goesn't yell at me again. She scares me with that rage of hers.
Anyways, I must run for the owner of this computer terminal I am at is here to take her rightful place, and besides which I am on standby in about five minutes. Farewell, bloggeroonies. I do so hope that there is even a purpose in all this blogging that I do. Send me a shout out, all. Should I even continue this notion of keeping others updated with my life?
PS: I love Sean.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Monday, November 29, 2004
You know you need help when
I am so stressed tonight. I am just so depressed, all I wish I could do is just sleep all day long, with no stupid children who scream outside my door at six in the morning, no retard-o family screaming at me, and telling me that I have no motivation (oh the irony), no fucking school hanging over my head depressing and stressing me out before I have even risen from my bed. I wish that just once I could live a day without feeling incompetent, bitchy, or just plain idiotic.
I am sorry, Sean, that you had to hear that between me and my family. I wish that just one day that didn't have to happen. I wish that I wasn't constantly doing something wrong. Nothing is ever good enough for Mrs. Tinnion, or for Brianna, or for Mrs. Sinclair, or even just for my peers, the people I work with. And on the flip side, I wish that for once the recognition that I work for (SHUT UP, SHERAYNA, AND STOP READING OVER MY SHOULDER!) would come about. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!
apologies, Sherayna is yelling at me for "refusing to grow up and use ad aware" because clearly it is ALL MY FAULT that the computers have viruses, even though Mom uses this computer too.
Back to my recognition woes. Honestly, I work to the best of my abilities. I do nothing but work, lately. And I do consider all the theatre and choir that I do to be work, and I treat it as such. It's unpaid, and many people will not consider it work because of that, but those are the people who have never done a show, let alone three at once. I just wish that the experience that I have gained through all the work in theatre that I have done would be respected. But people don't listen to chorus members. There is a reason why people want actors to be invisible off stage. Unfortunately, in musicals, people also want chorus actors to be invisible onstage as well. And working as hard as I have been, I feel a little put out when I am denied even the recognition that being invisible has gained me.
I feel like staying in bed all day and crying until I die. and fuck you if you think I'm too emo. because I don't let this out that often.
I apologize for being so troubled. And I apologize for being so short-tempered. And I apologize for being as retarded as I am. But I assure you guys as much as all you hate me being that way, I gaurantee you I hate it more.
For God's sake, what can possess a HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA TEACHER to threaten to cut a role from a production for missing A PRACTICE? It wasn't even a practice that was specifically devoted to practicing my scene, either! She was just yanking the chain, making sure I jumped far enough. Well fuck manipulative rat demon teachers. I hate this.
You know how a few months ago, I was ranting about my family and how I would stick to concentrating on my boy, and my friends, and my music, and my theatre, because at least I got a LITTLE reward from those things? Well, even that little has now left. So basically the way I am acting comes from a feeling that my work means nothing, and the little it meant to me before has now completely evaporated, and I shall get no reward from anything I do ever. Illogical, but that's the way I feel. And that makes life feel so worthless. I need to know that I am affecting things here, in this world. And no, I am not fishing for bloggy blog comments saying how much my friends love and junk. I need tangible evidence. I need to see something, and feel something that shows me that there is a purpose in me being here. God, I hate how melodramatic this sounds. That is NOT the tone I want to take with this entry. I just want to convey how frustrated and alone I feel right now.
I am sorry, Sean, that you had to hear that between me and my family. I wish that just one day that didn't have to happen. I wish that I wasn't constantly doing something wrong. Nothing is ever good enough for Mrs. Tinnion, or for Brianna, or for Mrs. Sinclair, or even just for my peers, the people I work with. And on the flip side, I wish that for once the recognition that I work for (SHUT UP, SHERAYNA, AND STOP READING OVER MY SHOULDER!) would come about. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!
apologies, Sherayna is yelling at me for "refusing to grow up and use ad aware" because clearly it is ALL MY FAULT that the computers have viruses, even though Mom uses this computer too.
Back to my recognition woes. Honestly, I work to the best of my abilities. I do nothing but work, lately. And I do consider all the theatre and choir that I do to be work, and I treat it as such. It's unpaid, and many people will not consider it work because of that, but those are the people who have never done a show, let alone three at once. I just wish that the experience that I have gained through all the work in theatre that I have done would be respected. But people don't listen to chorus members. There is a reason why people want actors to be invisible off stage. Unfortunately, in musicals, people also want chorus actors to be invisible onstage as well. And working as hard as I have been, I feel a little put out when I am denied even the recognition that being invisible has gained me.
I feel like staying in bed all day and crying until I die. and fuck you if you think I'm too emo. because I don't let this out that often.
I apologize for being so troubled. And I apologize for being so short-tempered. And I apologize for being as retarded as I am. But I assure you guys as much as all you hate me being that way, I gaurantee you I hate it more.
For God's sake, what can possess a HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA TEACHER to threaten to cut a role from a production for missing A PRACTICE? It wasn't even a practice that was specifically devoted to practicing my scene, either! She was just yanking the chain, making sure I jumped far enough. Well fuck manipulative rat demon teachers. I hate this.
You know how a few months ago, I was ranting about my family and how I would stick to concentrating on my boy, and my friends, and my music, and my theatre, because at least I got a LITTLE reward from those things? Well, even that little has now left. So basically the way I am acting comes from a feeling that my work means nothing, and the little it meant to me before has now completely evaporated, and I shall get no reward from anything I do ever. Illogical, but that's the way I feel. And that makes life feel so worthless. I need to know that I am affecting things here, in this world. And no, I am not fishing for bloggy blog comments saying how much my friends love and junk. I need tangible evidence. I need to see something, and feel something that shows me that there is a purpose in me being here. God, I hate how melodramatic this sounds. That is NOT the tone I want to take with this entry. I just want to convey how frustrated and alone I feel right now.
all I want for Christmas is...
you wanna know how fucking poor I am? get this...my Christmas gift from my grandparents? hot water. not fucking kidding.
allow me to explain: when Mom and I first moved into this house, Mom made sure to ask if the water was heated off the oil tank, because if she didn't have to, she would prefer not not use the oil tank, because oil is too expensive, and we cannot afford expensive things. Moni, our infamous bitch-landlord reassured us that, "oh yes, don't worry, the water is heated electrically." ok. wonderful.
seven months later, we seem to run into yet ANOTHER snag with our infamous house of crappiness. One day our heat just TURNS OFF. No specific reason. Mom had saved the oil that was in the tank from before we moved in to use come winter time, and now that wintertime is here, we have been burning the oil. So all of a sudden our heat just cuts out. Now, we're not that worried, to be honest, we just figured that we'd be using the fireplace a lot more now. Then--our HOT WATER goes AWOL. wtf??? So we inquire as to why this might be, seeing as how hot water happens to be, you know, IMPERATIVE TO LIVING, at least if you like to live having bathed once a day. And Moni informs us haughtily of the fact that, "oh the hot water is heated off of the oil tank. You have to buy more oil for the tank before you get hot water back again."
EXCUSE FUCKING ME????
So I get home from school today, and I have had quite the stressful day. The Dentist happens to suck a lot, and I am irked at the way Tinnion is blocking it. I have already blown up at a couple people for just assuming that I'll give them chips, when it happens to be my dinner. In roughly an hour, I have to be at Dover for a five hour dress rehearsal that I didn't know I had, and it means that I have to miss Sean's sister Tuula's school play which I had looked forward to. And what do I find out? That for Christmas, Gramma and Grampa had planned on giving me and my sister a hudnred dollars. A hundred dollars? I have never gotten a hundred dollars for ANYTHING before! Fucking sweet! Then I find out, that because we are poor, it has to go towards oil. For hot water. So that I can shower in the morning.
Happy FUCKING Christmas.
Now, might I remind you all, that this is a woman who runs a retirement home for a living. There are LIVES in her responsibility, and I may point out that she does not take that responsibility into account when dealing with others. In fact, this summer alone there was an ambulance at the lodge almost every single week. Now people dying, or becoming hospitalized at that rate? There is something seriously wrong with that picture.
Now I am truly sick of being owned by a woman who thinks no more of the lives she affects than you would think of the cockroach you just squashed. I am TRULY OFFENDED that my Christmas gift is going to be a necessity of life. Now to be considered poor in this country, you have to spend over half of your monthly income on living expenses and necessities of life. We're spending practically half of my grandparents income and ALL of ours on our living expenses. And the last thing that we need is some lying bitch of a landlord making life even harder for us than it already is.
That shit-face just pissed off the wrong midget.
allow me to explain: when Mom and I first moved into this house, Mom made sure to ask if the water was heated off the oil tank, because if she didn't have to, she would prefer not not use the oil tank, because oil is too expensive, and we cannot afford expensive things. Moni, our infamous bitch-landlord reassured us that, "oh yes, don't worry, the water is heated electrically." ok. wonderful.
seven months later, we seem to run into yet ANOTHER snag with our infamous house of crappiness. One day our heat just TURNS OFF. No specific reason. Mom had saved the oil that was in the tank from before we moved in to use come winter time, and now that wintertime is here, we have been burning the oil. So all of a sudden our heat just cuts out. Now, we're not that worried, to be honest, we just figured that we'd be using the fireplace a lot more now. Then--our HOT WATER goes AWOL. wtf??? So we inquire as to why this might be, seeing as how hot water happens to be, you know, IMPERATIVE TO LIVING, at least if you like to live having bathed once a day. And Moni informs us haughtily of the fact that, "oh the hot water is heated off of the oil tank. You have to buy more oil for the tank before you get hot water back again."
EXCUSE FUCKING ME????
So I get home from school today, and I have had quite the stressful day. The Dentist happens to suck a lot, and I am irked at the way Tinnion is blocking it. I have already blown up at a couple people for just assuming that I'll give them chips, when it happens to be my dinner. In roughly an hour, I have to be at Dover for a five hour dress rehearsal that I didn't know I had, and it means that I have to miss Sean's sister Tuula's school play which I had looked forward to. And what do I find out? That for Christmas, Gramma and Grampa had planned on giving me and my sister a hudnred dollars. A hundred dollars? I have never gotten a hundred dollars for ANYTHING before! Fucking sweet! Then I find out, that because we are poor, it has to go towards oil. For hot water. So that I can shower in the morning.
Happy FUCKING Christmas.
Now, might I remind you all, that this is a woman who runs a retirement home for a living. There are LIVES in her responsibility, and I may point out that she does not take that responsibility into account when dealing with others. In fact, this summer alone there was an ambulance at the lodge almost every single week. Now people dying, or becoming hospitalized at that rate? There is something seriously wrong with that picture.
Now I am truly sick of being owned by a woman who thinks no more of the lives she affects than you would think of the cockroach you just squashed. I am TRULY OFFENDED that my Christmas gift is going to be a necessity of life. Now to be considered poor in this country, you have to spend over half of your monthly income on living expenses and necessities of life. We're spending practically half of my grandparents income and ALL of ours on our living expenses. And the last thing that we need is some lying bitch of a landlord making life even harder for us than it already is.
That shit-face just pissed off the wrong midget.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
fine, Amay, I'll POST! jeex...
sorry about the silence, I was busy taking that prolongued period of time with mah boy that I spoke about last post. And boy was that wonderful! He came over to my house on Saturday morning, and we drank coffee whilst watching children frolicking. I discovered that my clothes were not dry when they were supposed to be, and I was furious. Then we just hung out in my room, and talked and listened to Less Than Jake. I got pissy at my bedding, and flung no less than three pillows across the room. LOL!
Later on, my mum asked me and Sean to walk the dogs with her, so we all put Sensei and Ahrodie on leashes and took them down to the park for a romp. The dogs ran and jumped foolishly and cutely, and then we went home to drop off the dogs. Sean and I waited til his Mom got there to pick us up, and then we all went up town to drop in on a little gathering at his grandparent's room in the old folk's home they live at. That was interesting, I met more extended family of Sean's. After that, we went to DQ's, and then Wendy's. Sean and I ate until we thirsted for Coke, and Sean spent his own money on two Cokes instead of using the five that his mum found in her purse, and that impressed her greatly. Apparently Sean is acting quite mature lately, and all are impressed with it.
After that, we went to Amanda's and hung out in her bedroom. I almost fell asleep on Sean. Actually I think I DID fall asleep on Sean. Which was pleasant in the extreme. Finally though his grandparents came and picked us up and dropped us off at Subway, to walk to his dad's house.
have you ever been on the verge of the greatest moment of your life, and then did something so retarded, so insanely unforgivable that you wanted to die for it?
The next morning, I missed TWO DIFFERENT BUSES to panto, so, being in a frustrated mood, merely went to Tim Horton's and drank yummy cappacino with Sean. I love that boy with all my heart! We hung out until almost three when I had to catch a bus uptown to go practice w/ the girls in preparation for our X-mas concerts coming up. I got there, adn it turned out to be a non-Ross Road bus (BAH!) which meant that I had to walk all the way from Uplands over to Ross, and then up a BIIIIIG hill to Brianna's place which was urgfh-worthy. Only to find out that--I WAS SUPER EARLY, and the girls didn't know that we were practicing at three, and not five. ROAR! Thaaaaaat's NICE. (lol, Sean and Devin!)
So I walked all the way to Gator's place which was about four minutes away from the place that I had gotten off the bus at in the FIRST PLACE. bah. Walked to Gator's house to find that she was with yound Timothy and there was no Collective for Pinto to practice with. CRAZY TALK! So I called Gator at Tim-Tims and played telephone tag w/ her for a while until it was decided that I was to go home, because there was no point if I had to leave so early anyways (because the last bus was at six).
So I came home, and here I am. *sigh* I want Sean, and blogs, and chocolate galore. That spells joy for me.
Later on, my mum asked me and Sean to walk the dogs with her, so we all put Sensei and Ahrodie on leashes and took them down to the park for a romp. The dogs ran and jumped foolishly and cutely, and then we went home to drop off the dogs. Sean and I waited til his Mom got there to pick us up, and then we all went up town to drop in on a little gathering at his grandparent's room in the old folk's home they live at. That was interesting, I met more extended family of Sean's. After that, we went to DQ's, and then Wendy's. Sean and I ate until we thirsted for Coke, and Sean spent his own money on two Cokes instead of using the five that his mum found in her purse, and that impressed her greatly. Apparently Sean is acting quite mature lately, and all are impressed with it.
After that, we went to Amanda's and hung out in her bedroom. I almost fell asleep on Sean. Actually I think I DID fall asleep on Sean. Which was pleasant in the extreme. Finally though his grandparents came and picked us up and dropped us off at Subway, to walk to his dad's house.
have you ever been on the verge of the greatest moment of your life, and then did something so retarded, so insanely unforgivable that you wanted to die for it?
The next morning, I missed TWO DIFFERENT BUSES to panto, so, being in a frustrated mood, merely went to Tim Horton's and drank yummy cappacino with Sean. I love that boy with all my heart! We hung out until almost three when I had to catch a bus uptown to go practice w/ the girls in preparation for our X-mas concerts coming up. I got there, adn it turned out to be a non-Ross Road bus (BAH!) which meant that I had to walk all the way from Uplands over to Ross, and then up a BIIIIIG hill to Brianna's place which was urgfh-worthy. Only to find out that--I WAS SUPER EARLY, and the girls didn't know that we were practicing at three, and not five. ROAR! Thaaaaaat's NICE. (lol, Sean and Devin!)
So I walked all the way to Gator's place which was about four minutes away from the place that I had gotten off the bus at in the FIRST PLACE. bah. Walked to Gator's house to find that she was with yound Timothy and there was no Collective for Pinto to practice with. CRAZY TALK! So I called Gator at Tim-Tims and played telephone tag w/ her for a while until it was decided that I was to go home, because there was no point if I had to leave so early anyways (because the last bus was at six).
So I came home, and here I am. *sigh* I want Sean, and blogs, and chocolate galore. That spells joy for me.
Friday, November 26, 2004
Sean, I want you!!!
I miss miss miss miss miss my wonderful boy! I want him so bad!! I need need need to be with him, right now, for a PROLONGED period of time, instead of merely five rushed minutes like during MuTh tech rehearsal today.
I was backstage munching subway that Mr. A had thoughtfully gifted me with, when Tim comes rushing in telling me that "my boy wants me" and I was thinking, "what? Sean here now? And my boy radar is not shrieking signals at me? curious!" So I ran out to see him, but I was on standby so I couldn't talk with him for very long...and I felt VERY sad. I was onstage, and I kept looking out, and covering my eyes against the stage lights with my hands to see if he was still there, but he was not.
He was wearing some form of TURTLENECK! I was like, WHAT? This is not like my baseball-shirt, and womens pants wearing man. It felt all covering, and soft, and smooth, and it looked so black in the darkened auditorium. I couldn't really see his face, and for that I was saddened.
he gave me the barest little peck on the lips as I rushed backstage again. I feel so sad that those five rushed minutes were the most time we've spent with each other in the past two days. We talked on msn yesterday, but that doesn't count! Nothing is the same as seeing Sean.
Well, I really have nothing else to say other than that Glenn rocks for allowing me to fall asleep upon him, and tech rehearsals are death. Death in a slut basket. I love my boy so much! Call me, please, Sean!!!
I was backstage munching subway that Mr. A had thoughtfully gifted me with, when Tim comes rushing in telling me that "my boy wants me" and I was thinking, "what? Sean here now? And my boy radar is not shrieking signals at me? curious!" So I ran out to see him, but I was on standby so I couldn't talk with him for very long...and I felt VERY sad. I was onstage, and I kept looking out, and covering my eyes against the stage lights with my hands to see if he was still there, but he was not.
He was wearing some form of TURTLENECK! I was like, WHAT? This is not like my baseball-shirt, and womens pants wearing man. It felt all covering, and soft, and smooth, and it looked so black in the darkened auditorium. I couldn't really see his face, and for that I was saddened.
he gave me the barest little peck on the lips as I rushed backstage again. I feel so sad that those five rushed minutes were the most time we've spent with each other in the past two days. We talked on msn yesterday, but that doesn't count! Nothing is the same as seeing Sean.
Well, I really have nothing else to say other than that Glenn rocks for allowing me to fall asleep upon him, and tech rehearsals are death. Death in a slut basket. I love my boy so much! Call me, please, Sean!!!
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
What have YOU done??? *dirty eye brow waggle*
Highlight the things youve done.
Climbed a mountain
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
Held a tarantula.
Taken a candlelit bath with someone<-- I wish!!!
Said 'I love you' and meant it
Hugged a tree
Done a striptease
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightning storm at sea
Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game
Grown and eaten your own vegetables
Slept under the stars
Changed a baby's diaper
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
Had a food fight
Taken a sick day when you're not ill
Had a snowball fight
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
Held a lamb
Organized and planned a surprise party for a loved one
Taken a midnight skinny dip
Taken an ice cold bath
Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
Seen a total eclipse
Ridden a roller coaster
Hit a home run
Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
Adopted an accent for an entire day
Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
Had two hard drives for your computer
Visited all 50 states
Loved your job for all accounts
Taken care of someone who was really sick
Had enough money to be truly satisfied
Had amazing friends
Stolen a sign
Taken a road-trip
Rock climbing
Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
Bench pressed your own weight
Milked a cow
Alphabetized your records
pretended to be a superhero
Sung karaoke
Lounged around in bed all day
Protested something you feel strongly against
Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Played in the rain
Gone to a drive-in theater
Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
Dropped Windows in favor of something better
Taken a martial arts class
Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
Crashed a party
Loved someone you shouldn't have
Gone without food for 5 days
Made cookies from scratch
Won first prize in a costume contest
Gotten a tattoo
Got flowers for no reason
Made out in a public place
Got so drunk you don't remember anything
Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
Performed on stage
Been to Las Vegas
Drank an entire 6 pack by yourself
Buried one/both of your parents
Shaved all of your hair off
Been on a cruise ship
Spoken more than one language fluently
Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
Bounced a check
Performed in theatre
Found out something significant that your ancestors did
Called or written your MP
Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
Wrote articles for a large publication
Lost over 100 pounds
Held someone while they were having a flashback
Broken someone's heart
Helped an animal give birth
Been fired or laid off from a job
Broken a bone
Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
Ridden a horse
Had major surgery
Ridden on a passenger train
Had a snake as a pet
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
Been a sperm or egg donor
Eaten sushi
Had your picture in the newspaper
Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
Gotten someone fired for their actions
Changed your name
Eaten fried green tomatoes
Read The Iliad
Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read their works
Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
Taught yourself an art from scratch
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
Written your own computer language
Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
Had to put someone you love into hospice care
Built your own PC from parts
Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
Had a booth at a street fair
Dyed your hair Blue
Been a DJ
Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
Written your own role playing game
Been arrested
(stories of these things I have done are forthcoming should any of you choose to ask about them)
Climbed a mountain
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
Held a tarantula.
Taken a candlelit bath with someone<-- I wish!!!
Said 'I love you' and meant it
Hugged a tree
Done a striptease
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightning storm at sea
Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game
Grown and eaten your own vegetables
Slept under the stars
Changed a baby's diaper
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
Had a food fight
Taken a sick day when you're not ill
Had a snowball fight
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
Held a lamb
Organized and planned a surprise party for a loved one
Taken a midnight skinny dip
Taken an ice cold bath
Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
Seen a total eclipse
Ridden a roller coaster
Hit a home run
Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
Adopted an accent for an entire day
Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
Had two hard drives for your computer
Visited all 50 states
Loved your job for all accounts
Taken care of someone who was really sick
Had enough money to be truly satisfied
Had amazing friends
Stolen a sign
Taken a road-trip
Rock climbing
Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
Bench pressed your own weight
Milked a cow
Alphabetized your records
pretended to be a superhero
Sung karaoke
Lounged around in bed all day
Protested something you feel strongly against
Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Played in the rain
Gone to a drive-in theater
Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
Dropped Windows in favor of something better
Taken a martial arts class
Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
Crashed a party
Loved someone you shouldn't have
Gone without food for 5 days
Made cookies from scratch
Won first prize in a costume contest
Gotten a tattoo
Got flowers for no reason
Made out in a public place
Got so drunk you don't remember anything
Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
Performed on stage
Been to Las Vegas
Drank an entire 6 pack by yourself
Buried one/both of your parents
Shaved all of your hair off
Been on a cruise ship
Spoken more than one language fluently
Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
Bounced a check
Performed in theatre
Found out something significant that your ancestors did
Called or written your MP
Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
Wrote articles for a large publication
Lost over 100 pounds
Held someone while they were having a flashback
Broken someone's heart
Helped an animal give birth
Been fired or laid off from a job
Broken a bone
Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
Ridden a horse
Had major surgery
Ridden on a passenger train
Had a snake as a pet
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
Been a sperm or egg donor
Eaten sushi
Had your picture in the newspaper
Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
Gotten someone fired for their actions
Changed your name
Eaten fried green tomatoes
Read The Iliad
Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read their works
Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
Taught yourself an art from scratch
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
Written your own computer language
Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
Had to put someone you love into hospice care
Built your own PC from parts
Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
Had a booth at a street fair
Dyed your hair Blue
Been a DJ
Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
Written your own role playing game
Been arrested
(stories of these things I have done are forthcoming should any of you choose to ask about them)
I am your WIFE, I am the greatest good you've got!
Tonight, Sean surprised me by being at my locker when the bell rang! I was so happy to see him! I missed my bus which was crappy, but then, Sean and I took a bus by ourselves which was enjoyable. When we got to Dover, I stuck a slice of processed cheese on a teacher's car at Sean's behest! We laughed many many times!
As I thought, I was needed onstage as soon as I walked in the door, and we began our run. Things are getting better. There are quite a few things that need polishing, but as soon as that happens we'll be ready for opening night. I am not worried about Bye Bye Birdie. Ack! We open next week!!! It's almost done! I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
After the run, Sean and I walked to Woodgrove where we looked at furniture in the Bay, and in other stores. I also dragged him into Mariposa, and Bryan's, cause I am a goob. I love dresses!!! with a passion. At Mariposa, someone Sean knew from high school was working there, so they talked while I drooled on the merchandise. Eventually I made my way over there, and I met her. Don't remember her name though, unfortunately.
After that we went to see the Incredibles and saw the twins working at the concession. I became Sean's pack donkey while he spoke with Amay and Bethany and bought Sour Patch Kids at Amay's urging. Jeez, Amay! Shameless plug! You'd think she was paid with commission the way she pushed those candies on that poor boy. Or maybe I'm biased!!! lol! anyways, the movie was awesome, I laughed like a fool especially at the end when (*blah blah blah, can't ruin the moment for all y'all who haven't seen it*)! That was hysterical! Plus the music was sweet. Always a bonus.
After that, I whined until Sean bought me dinner at McDonald's, because he had neglected to feed me earlier. For shame! I scarfed a McChicken burger, large fries, and a large coke until I felt stuffed with grease and gross. ARGLE-BART-FWUB. I have the most tension in the world right now. There is one gigantic lump of tension knot right in between my spine and my right shoulder blade and it is causing me so much trouble. Plus my left shoulder tendon thing is being strangled by malicious tension chords of doom, and it pains me so. Pity me. Pity me greatly. I need a massage-therapist. That would be heaven. Two years ago, during panto, Nick Murphy was once giving me a massage, and he told em that I was the tensest person he'd ever met. And that was just with panto, and school. Slacktron, easy-ass grade ten classes, no less. This year, it's no surprise that I am wound up. I actually think that I'm doing really well this year, considering the sheer volume of all the stuff I've been doing. I suppose to some extent I have slightly less stress at home than other years (yes Sean, unbelievably, I am LESS stressed about my family life than I usually am! how pathetic), which is prolly contributing to my overall relaxedness compared to other years. BAH! I hate stress.
Ok, I am tired. Goodnight.
As I thought, I was needed onstage as soon as I walked in the door, and we began our run. Things are getting better. There are quite a few things that need polishing, but as soon as that happens we'll be ready for opening night. I am not worried about Bye Bye Birdie. Ack! We open next week!!! It's almost done! I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
After the run, Sean and I walked to Woodgrove where we looked at furniture in the Bay, and in other stores. I also dragged him into Mariposa, and Bryan's, cause I am a goob. I love dresses!!! with a passion. At Mariposa, someone Sean knew from high school was working there, so they talked while I drooled on the merchandise. Eventually I made my way over there, and I met her. Don't remember her name though, unfortunately.
After that we went to see the Incredibles and saw the twins working at the concession. I became Sean's pack donkey while he spoke with Amay and Bethany and bought Sour Patch Kids at Amay's urging. Jeez, Amay! Shameless plug! You'd think she was paid with commission the way she pushed those candies on that poor boy. Or maybe I'm biased!!! lol! anyways, the movie was awesome, I laughed like a fool especially at the end when (*blah blah blah, can't ruin the moment for all y'all who haven't seen it*)! That was hysterical! Plus the music was sweet. Always a bonus.
After that, I whined until Sean bought me dinner at McDonald's, because he had neglected to feed me earlier. For shame! I scarfed a McChicken burger, large fries, and a large coke until I felt stuffed with grease and gross. ARGLE-BART-FWUB. I have the most tension in the world right now. There is one gigantic lump of tension knot right in between my spine and my right shoulder blade and it is causing me so much trouble. Plus my left shoulder tendon thing is being strangled by malicious tension chords of doom, and it pains me so. Pity me. Pity me greatly. I need a massage-therapist. That would be heaven. Two years ago, during panto, Nick Murphy was once giving me a massage, and he told em that I was the tensest person he'd ever met. And that was just with panto, and school. Slacktron, easy-ass grade ten classes, no less. This year, it's no surprise that I am wound up. I actually think that I'm doing really well this year, considering the sheer volume of all the stuff I've been doing. I suppose to some extent I have slightly less stress at home than other years (yes Sean, unbelievably, I am LESS stressed about my family life than I usually am! how pathetic), which is prolly contributing to my overall relaxedness compared to other years. BAH! I hate stress.
Ok, I am tired. Goodnight.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Moppet. Poppet. FOOL! Shall we dance?
*sigh* what a super-tiring day. Got to school late. oops. Jazz choir was jazzily jazz-aliscious. We had almost everybody today, which is a change. Trickle Trickle was great, and What a Wonderful World would have worked (what alliteration!!) had I not wallowed in walrus willies. (sorry, had to milk it for all it was worth!!!)
urgfh, everybody is talking to me. this is insane. as soon as I signed in about four people started talking to me. then after a while five other people started talking to me, and then a couple of people left so I could close their boxes, and then Barba called me, and then my sweetie signed in, and I HAD to talk to him...too many people. too many.
this post is taking me a retarded amount of time to complete. I blame it on my friends. Many many many of them are talking to me. Too many of them to handle.
I was going to talk about my day in this post, but I am so irked at this post by now that I have decided to make a quick exit, sign off of msn, and just leave. Goodnight. (what a pointless post)
urgfh, everybody is talking to me. this is insane. as soon as I signed in about four people started talking to me. then after a while five other people started talking to me, and then a couple of people left so I could close their boxes, and then Barba called me, and then my sweetie signed in, and I HAD to talk to him...too many people. too many.
this post is taking me a retarded amount of time to complete. I blame it on my friends. Many many many of them are talking to me. Too many of them to handle.
I was going to talk about my day in this post, but I am so irked at this post by now that I have decided to make a quick exit, sign off of msn, and just leave. Goodnight. (what a pointless post)
Sunday, November 21, 2004
me, I'm like SUPER hunt-and-peck!
*sigh* boy, am I tuckered. So much has happened this weekend, I just don't even remember it all! yikes!
Friday night was Brianna's kick-ass b-day p-tay at Boston Pizza. BP is absolutely the best place to have ginormous parties. Brianna got tons of presents (not mine until tomorrow cause I forgot to wrap it, or get her a card), and everybody ate yummy BP food. We sang Happy Birthday to her at the top of her lungs, and then "We Love You, Brianna" to the tune of "We Love You Conrad" from Bye Bye Birdie! and basically were just a loud obnoxious bunch of rowdy teenagers. We played the sexy cake game, which I am proud to say, I am the QUEEN of! I got a perfect ten for kissing Rosie with tongue with cake in my mouth. Of course, Glenn was the one judging, so I suppose we must take my victory with a grain of salt... (*lets have an OR-gy!*) After that, a select few of us went back to Brianna's house and most of them watched Shrek 2, while Spencer and Will cuddled on the couch even though Spencer is supposedly dating, or interested in Jordan or some such. And Spencer and Jordan looked pretty cosy at BP, too. So the fact that Spence was cuddling with Will (pretty hardcore, too, according to Barba) was kind of interesting. Me and Sean went and cuddled very PG-13 like up in the attic, and Gareth came to hang out with us. We had to leave pretty early however to catch the last bus home. That was unpleasant.
The next morning, Sean rode his bike to my house, and we went exploring through my neighborhood on his bike until it started to rain, at which time, we took his bike back to my place to keep it from getting wet. My family had left to do whatever it is they do at eleven'o'clock on a Saturday morning, so we hung out drinking coffee, and I showed him my room at long last (I did a fifteen minute clean-up on it first, lol!), and then we talked to some people on the computer for a little while. It was then that we found out that there was a get-together at Amanda Stephens that night that was previously unknown. So we headed up to the bowl where Sean biked a little, and injured his lake HORRIBLY. it's going to scare. And it bled quite grossly. But he seems to be alright now. However, I kept touching it all night by accident, and he would wince in extreme pain and I would feel like such a klutz. klutzy me.
So we went to Amanda's, and they were watching Radio, which both Sean and I have seen. So it was a pretty relaxing night, of not doing a whole lot. Chris Ruiz, and April and Emily were all there, as well as Devin of course. After the movie, we went and hng out in Amanda's room which was tons of fun. Except I started having cravings for a certain something which is NOT a good thing. Foo knows what I am talking about, lol!!! That stupid night. bah! so regretful.
That night was quite lovely for reasons un-knowable by many many people. If you are super super special I may tell you why that night was fantastic, but otherwise you must wonder in ignorance. The next morning I slept in super super late, cause I'd been up til five thirty the night before. I felt for poor Sean, having to get up at eight for church. Anyways, I thought I was going to be late for pantomime but luckily buses worked out perfectly for me. (which is quite rare on a Sunday.)
Pantomime was--well, pretty meh, actually. Mel kept giving me these crazy baking choclotates that were amazingly yummy, and I had like three cups of coffee. Onstage work was really low energy. A lot of people kept forgetting their lines crazily, adn for some reason, Elina was pissing me off a lot, but ONLY while we were working. On break, and out in the lobby when I saw her, I felt totaly normal about her and I was talking with her, and singing with her, and she gave me a couple of hugs. But when she was onstage, every little thing she did bugged me professionally. It bothered me that she would never get behind the blacks when she was supposed to, her characterization bugged me. I dunno, just everything she did onstage I did not agree with. It was quite curious actually. Changing topics now, during break, me Niki and Jen sang a bunch of quartet music from the Music Man. Boy do I love barbershop. Admittedly not when we are a quarter short of a quartet, but whatever. It's strange the way that works out! No matter where we are, it almost always works out that we have three quarters of barbershop. Weird.
Anyways, after that, I went home to change and pick up some makeup and junk for the *activities* of this afternoon (which didn't end up working out, btw). I tried to eat some dinner, but as usual, an argument broke out, and I ended up flinging a spare rib across the kitchen and storming out of the house in tears. Then I missed my bus. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed. I was pretty much crying the entire way to Devin's. I feel a little perturbed at the way I just bottled it when Devin opened the door. He pretty much just let me in, and jumped into joke-mode, and I kind of just swallowed everything that I was feeling and fell into the routine. I wish I didn't do that all the time. If I let things out, it might be a little easier for me to deal with things. But I guess that's not going to happen anytime soon, is it?
Anyways, we hung out all night, and ordered pizza. Devi paid up on that bet he made with us!!! (yessssssssss! lol, Napolean Dynamite!) Amanda got there eventually, and apparently she hadn't had the greatest day either. She had to work outside even though she's sick. And apparently Constable Stone is stalking her. lol! She's paranoid. What a schitzo, jeex! Anyways, we watched Taking Lives, which is pretty crappy, but Angelina Jolie is HOT. Seriously the sex scene is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE SEX SCENE EVER. It was amazing.
...anyways!
YUCK!!! I HATE neo citron! It makes me feel like barfing all over the place!
again, anyways...
I am at Sean's Dad's place right now. Sitting on my studly man-slave of a computer chair. yes, the one named Sean. I am so in love with him!!! Little does he know...HE'S TRAPPED!!! He'll never escape my evil emotional clutches. He's mine forever and ever and ever, and I'll never let him go. (ironic, because right now, he's the one with his arms around ME!)
you know I just realized, Shauna is going to eat me because I wasn't at the dance at Sean's church on Saturday. But I dunno, I just didn't want to go, and Sean wasn't feeling too great anyways. And then there was Amanda's to go to, which was much more relaxing, and pleasant than going to a big crowded dance would have been. Plus I wouldn't have known much of anybody their, whereas I knew everyone at Amanda's. So I figure my weekend was a success.
Except for the fact that I have to go home now. *pout* I would much rather stay here and just be with my wonderful boy...but alas that has to wait. Until SUMMERTIME, *snicker.* ttyl, bloggers!
Friday night was Brianna's kick-ass b-day p-tay at Boston Pizza. BP is absolutely the best place to have ginormous parties. Brianna got tons of presents (not mine until tomorrow cause I forgot to wrap it, or get her a card), and everybody ate yummy BP food. We sang Happy Birthday to her at the top of her lungs, and then "We Love You, Brianna" to the tune of "We Love You Conrad" from Bye Bye Birdie! and basically were just a loud obnoxious bunch of rowdy teenagers. We played the sexy cake game, which I am proud to say, I am the QUEEN of! I got a perfect ten for kissing Rosie with tongue with cake in my mouth. Of course, Glenn was the one judging, so I suppose we must take my victory with a grain of salt... (*lets have an OR-gy!*) After that, a select few of us went back to Brianna's house and most of them watched Shrek 2, while Spencer and Will cuddled on the couch even though Spencer is supposedly dating, or interested in Jordan or some such. And Spencer and Jordan looked pretty cosy at BP, too. So the fact that Spence was cuddling with Will (pretty hardcore, too, according to Barba) was kind of interesting. Me and Sean went and cuddled very PG-13 like up in the attic, and Gareth came to hang out with us. We had to leave pretty early however to catch the last bus home. That was unpleasant.
The next morning, Sean rode his bike to my house, and we went exploring through my neighborhood on his bike until it started to rain, at which time, we took his bike back to my place to keep it from getting wet. My family had left to do whatever it is they do at eleven'o'clock on a Saturday morning, so we hung out drinking coffee, and I showed him my room at long last (I did a fifteen minute clean-up on it first, lol!), and then we talked to some people on the computer for a little while. It was then that we found out that there was a get-together at Amanda Stephens that night that was previously unknown. So we headed up to the bowl where Sean biked a little, and injured his lake HORRIBLY. it's going to scare. And it bled quite grossly. But he seems to be alright now. However, I kept touching it all night by accident, and he would wince in extreme pain and I would feel like such a klutz. klutzy me.
So we went to Amanda's, and they were watching Radio, which both Sean and I have seen. So it was a pretty relaxing night, of not doing a whole lot. Chris Ruiz, and April and Emily were all there, as well as Devin of course. After the movie, we went and hng out in Amanda's room which was tons of fun. Except I started having cravings for a certain something which is NOT a good thing. Foo knows what I am talking about, lol!!! That stupid night. bah! so regretful.
That night was quite lovely for reasons un-knowable by many many people. If you are super super special I may tell you why that night was fantastic, but otherwise you must wonder in ignorance. The next morning I slept in super super late, cause I'd been up til five thirty the night before. I felt for poor Sean, having to get up at eight for church. Anyways, I thought I was going to be late for pantomime but luckily buses worked out perfectly for me. (which is quite rare on a Sunday.)
Pantomime was--well, pretty meh, actually. Mel kept giving me these crazy baking choclotates that were amazingly yummy, and I had like three cups of coffee. Onstage work was really low energy. A lot of people kept forgetting their lines crazily, adn for some reason, Elina was pissing me off a lot, but ONLY while we were working. On break, and out in the lobby when I saw her, I felt totaly normal about her and I was talking with her, and singing with her, and she gave me a couple of hugs. But when she was onstage, every little thing she did bugged me professionally. It bothered me that she would never get behind the blacks when she was supposed to, her characterization bugged me. I dunno, just everything she did onstage I did not agree with. It was quite curious actually. Changing topics now, during break, me Niki and Jen sang a bunch of quartet music from the Music Man. Boy do I love barbershop. Admittedly not when we are a quarter short of a quartet, but whatever. It's strange the way that works out! No matter where we are, it almost always works out that we have three quarters of barbershop. Weird.
Anyways, after that, I went home to change and pick up some makeup and junk for the *activities* of this afternoon (which didn't end up working out, btw). I tried to eat some dinner, but as usual, an argument broke out, and I ended up flinging a spare rib across the kitchen and storming out of the house in tears. Then I missed my bus. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed. I was pretty much crying the entire way to Devin's. I feel a little perturbed at the way I just bottled it when Devin opened the door. He pretty much just let me in, and jumped into joke-mode, and I kind of just swallowed everything that I was feeling and fell into the routine. I wish I didn't do that all the time. If I let things out, it might be a little easier for me to deal with things. But I guess that's not going to happen anytime soon, is it?
Anyways, we hung out all night, and ordered pizza. Devi paid up on that bet he made with us!!! (yessssssssss! lol, Napolean Dynamite!) Amanda got there eventually, and apparently she hadn't had the greatest day either. She had to work outside even though she's sick. And apparently Constable Stone is stalking her. lol! She's paranoid. What a schitzo, jeex! Anyways, we watched Taking Lives, which is pretty crappy, but Angelina Jolie is HOT. Seriously the sex scene is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE SEX SCENE EVER. It was amazing.
...anyways!
YUCK!!! I HATE neo citron! It makes me feel like barfing all over the place!
again, anyways...
I am at Sean's Dad's place right now. Sitting on my studly man-slave of a computer chair. yes, the one named Sean. I am so in love with him!!! Little does he know...HE'S TRAPPED!!! He'll never escape my evil emotional clutches. He's mine forever and ever and ever, and I'll never let him go. (ironic, because right now, he's the one with his arms around ME!)
you know I just realized, Shauna is going to eat me because I wasn't at the dance at Sean's church on Saturday. But I dunno, I just didn't want to go, and Sean wasn't feeling too great anyways. And then there was Amanda's to go to, which was much more relaxing, and pleasant than going to a big crowded dance would have been. Plus I wouldn't have known much of anybody their, whereas I knew everyone at Amanda's. So I figure my weekend was a success.
Except for the fact that I have to go home now. *pout* I would much rather stay here and just be with my wonderful boy...but alas that has to wait. Until SUMMERTIME, *snicker.* ttyl, bloggers!
Friday, November 19, 2004
there are times when being female blows squirrel testicles.
this is one of those times. I am medicating myself heavily in hopes that I will make it to school by lunchtime. I hurt so badly! The Collective prolly knows what I am talking about, for they have seen me in this condition many times. And watch out, for I am snarling at people like a growly bear. Today I yelled at my Mom for forty minutes until she gave me thirty dollars instead of twenty. I am a bitch. Bitch bitch bitch. I apologize to all in advance of this crabby day.
ack! I feel very tense and pain-filled. I wish I had money more often. In fact, it doesn't even have to be very often at all. Just...enough to get certain things that are usually very cheap. Like off-season Halloween makeup, and candy. That stuff is ALWAYS super-cheap after that holiday has passed. Oh no, I am becoming like my mother. Just a tad more organized.
It makes me sad that although I don't ask for that much (materially-speaking) I still have to take care of myself for everything. I literally might as well just move out. It would probably be easier than living with my family, in spite of having to pay rent, and damage deposit, and bills and junk. It makes me MAD that I ask for A REALLY LOT un-materially-speaking (referring to stuff like dedication, and hard-work, especially in the arts) and still the only one I feel I can count on for that is myself most of the time. And even with that, I let myself down all the time. Something is seriously wrong with this picture. I know what it is. It is the absence of monetary supplements. I really really really am NOT asking for very much!!! I promise! Just enough to get what I want SOME of the time. And what I want is almost always VERY cheap. My family seriously does not understand that about me. I am not out to break their bank! Although I might like to, I don't constantly want money to go buy some high-priced item of clothing, or an exhorbitant peice of jewelry, or superfluous makeup items. Most of the time, I am planning on heading to the dollar store and picking up a new tea light holder for a buck and a half, or cheap Halloween makeup for my theatre makeup supply. And maybe a bag of chips and a Coke for my troubles. More often than not I am buying things for other people. I really really really don't undertand the problem with financing these five, ten dollar endeavors. Understandably most of the time, my family JUST DOESN'T HAVE IT, which is pathetic, but that's life when you're poor. I can understand that. But there are too many times when Mom does have it, and she chooses to spend it on wasteful lottery tickets that she never wins anything on, or TRULY superfluous, cheap-ass, generally ugly statues, and trinkets from second-hand stores that nobody needs or wants really, or EVEN WORSE, on her habit. Her disgusting smelly expensive life-ruining habit. I find it EXTREMELY PATHETIC when her daughter comes absolutely last, even after her smoking. That is when you know that something has gone too far. But honestly, try explaining that to her.
So what solution is left to me? It's not like I have any skills I can make money off of, like jewelry making, or DVD editing (DEVIN! lol!). I already try to make sure that I spend as little as humanly possible on things, but that is turning me into MY MOTHER! this is a very bad thing. My mother is exceedingly cheap, and while she is very talented at running a household on (literally) five hundred and thirty dollars a month, that is NOT a talent I wish to have!!!!
you know what? I could blame Social Services, and say they aren't doing enough. Which to some extent is true enough. When they take a family, and take the youngest daughter's FREAKING ORPHAN PENSION off the top of what they give that family, that is not helpful. I have absolutely no idea why they would ever do that. How is THAT going to help a family? It is a very good thing that I get an orphan pension from the States as well (my father had dual citizenship) and that Welfare doesn't know about it, because if they did, Mom would get around a hundred and fifty bucks from Welfare. To live on. That's right. A hundred and fifty bucks. For rent, food, clothing, school fees. Not to mention our poor dogs. How can one woman raise a family of three on a hundred and fifty dollars? That is cruelty. I would LOVE to see any of those social working shitheads (except Sharon, Gator's Mom, cause she is a good person) living on a hundred and fifty dollars a month. but I digress. I could blame Welfare for our poverty. And I could blame Mom for being disabled, and unable to find work in her field. (and you know what? even though she IS disabled, and no one will hire her because of it, Welfare still won't give her disability benefits? and she doesn't have the skills with computers to be able to take the autocad course at MalU, and get hired as an architect and Welfare won't give her student aid, either because she can't afford schooling anyways. I am of the firm belief that Welfare is the devil.) But really, my discontent all comes down to me. I need to get a job. And I mean RIGHT NOW. If I am not working by the middle of January, then I am honestly going to need to hurt something. I need money, I need stability, I need a schedule. A kinder schedule than the one I have right now. I feel so motivated right now. It's too bad my clothes are finished drying and I HAVE to go to school now (sick or otherwise) because I really want to tweak my resume around. I have many things to add to it. But alas, evil schedule of exhaustion dictates that school is NOW. (actually school was two hours ago, but I am babbling)
goodbye. I want to work.
ack! I feel very tense and pain-filled. I wish I had money more often. In fact, it doesn't even have to be very often at all. Just...enough to get certain things that are usually very cheap. Like off-season Halloween makeup, and candy. That stuff is ALWAYS super-cheap after that holiday has passed. Oh no, I am becoming like my mother. Just a tad more organized.
It makes me sad that although I don't ask for that much (materially-speaking) I still have to take care of myself for everything. I literally might as well just move out. It would probably be easier than living with my family, in spite of having to pay rent, and damage deposit, and bills and junk. It makes me MAD that I ask for A REALLY LOT un-materially-speaking (referring to stuff like dedication, and hard-work, especially in the arts) and still the only one I feel I can count on for that is myself most of the time. And even with that, I let myself down all the time. Something is seriously wrong with this picture. I know what it is. It is the absence of monetary supplements. I really really really am NOT asking for very much!!! I promise! Just enough to get what I want SOME of the time. And what I want is almost always VERY cheap. My family seriously does not understand that about me. I am not out to break their bank! Although I might like to, I don't constantly want money to go buy some high-priced item of clothing, or an exhorbitant peice of jewelry, or superfluous makeup items. Most of the time, I am planning on heading to the dollar store and picking up a new tea light holder for a buck and a half, or cheap Halloween makeup for my theatre makeup supply. And maybe a bag of chips and a Coke for my troubles. More often than not I am buying things for other people. I really really really don't undertand the problem with financing these five, ten dollar endeavors. Understandably most of the time, my family JUST DOESN'T HAVE IT, which is pathetic, but that's life when you're poor. I can understand that. But there are too many times when Mom does have it, and she chooses to spend it on wasteful lottery tickets that she never wins anything on, or TRULY superfluous, cheap-ass, generally ugly statues, and trinkets from second-hand stores that nobody needs or wants really, or EVEN WORSE, on her habit. Her disgusting smelly expensive life-ruining habit. I find it EXTREMELY PATHETIC when her daughter comes absolutely last, even after her smoking. That is when you know that something has gone too far. But honestly, try explaining that to her.
So what solution is left to me? It's not like I have any skills I can make money off of, like jewelry making, or DVD editing (DEVIN! lol!). I already try to make sure that I spend as little as humanly possible on things, but that is turning me into MY MOTHER! this is a very bad thing. My mother is exceedingly cheap, and while she is very talented at running a household on (literally) five hundred and thirty dollars a month, that is NOT a talent I wish to have!!!!
you know what? I could blame Social Services, and say they aren't doing enough. Which to some extent is true enough. When they take a family, and take the youngest daughter's FREAKING ORPHAN PENSION off the top of what they give that family, that is not helpful. I have absolutely no idea why they would ever do that. How is THAT going to help a family? It is a very good thing that I get an orphan pension from the States as well (my father had dual citizenship) and that Welfare doesn't know about it, because if they did, Mom would get around a hundred and fifty bucks from Welfare. To live on. That's right. A hundred and fifty bucks. For rent, food, clothing, school fees. Not to mention our poor dogs. How can one woman raise a family of three on a hundred and fifty dollars? That is cruelty. I would LOVE to see any of those social working shitheads (except Sharon, Gator's Mom, cause she is a good person) living on a hundred and fifty dollars a month. but I digress. I could blame Welfare for our poverty. And I could blame Mom for being disabled, and unable to find work in her field. (and you know what? even though she IS disabled, and no one will hire her because of it, Welfare still won't give her disability benefits? and she doesn't have the skills with computers to be able to take the autocad course at MalU, and get hired as an architect and Welfare won't give her student aid, either because she can't afford schooling anyways. I am of the firm belief that Welfare is the devil.) But really, my discontent all comes down to me. I need to get a job. And I mean RIGHT NOW. If I am not working by the middle of January, then I am honestly going to need to hurt something. I need money, I need stability, I need a schedule. A kinder schedule than the one I have right now. I feel so motivated right now. It's too bad my clothes are finished drying and I HAVE to go to school now (sick or otherwise) because I really want to tweak my resume around. I have many things to add to it. But alas, evil schedule of exhaustion dictates that school is NOW. (actually school was two hours ago, but I am babbling)
goodbye. I want to work.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
gotta gotta gotta
gotta send template to Brad. what a lazy Pinto.
PEOPLE I LOVE LOVE LOVE
Sean
Brianna
Laura
Barba
Devin (he'll get pissy if he's not in the top five! lol!)
Kevin
Brad
Tim-Tim
Amay-----
for a second there, I forgot which blog belonged to which twin
Bethany--
Llowyn
PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPER-COOL
Mel
Nicole
Megan
Tasha-Splash
Amanda (NOT Devin's Amanda)
Matt+Steph
April-Katherine
Geoff
Niki
Little Brad
Homeslice Kid (Colin Gillespie)
THE EIGHTS
Sarah
Carly
Khrystyne
(yes, there will be more...JUST YOU WAIT!)
COOL POETRY BLOGS!
Sasja
April
UNCOOL PEOPLE WHO DON'T POST AS OFTEN AS THEY SHOULD!
Chip
Laura McNought
Will
Ted
Spencer
Ty
Alexis
Foo
Sherayna
FUN PLACES TO GO AND THING TO DO
Quizzies:
What Collective Member Are You?--find out if you are me, Brianna, or Laura!!! woo-hoo! written by Barbara
What Dr. Smooth Comic Are You?--discover which comic that Brianna drew is most liek YOU! written by Brianna
The Randomest Quiz You'll Ever Take--written by me. prepare to discover the extent of my inner NERD.
Sites of Awesemity:
DWProductionz--Devin's KICKASS site of video production. check out friends section, it's ME!
Dr. Smooth Comics--warning: only for the TRULY random.
Amay + Bethany's Tuna site--something smells a little fishy around here...
Tasha-Splashly's Site--I neglected her last time *blush!* Tasha, does this mean I get recognition on your friends list???
k, I'm entirely done. bed for me.
PEOPLE I LOVE LOVE LOVE
Sean
Brianna
Laura
Barba
Devin (he'll get pissy if he's not in the top five! lol!)
Kevin
Brad
Tim-Tim
Amay-----
for a second there, I forgot which blog belonged to which twin
Bethany--
Llowyn
PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPER-COOL
Mel
Nicole
Megan
Tasha-Splash
Amanda (NOT Devin's Amanda)
Matt+Steph
April-Katherine
Geoff
Niki
Little Brad
Homeslice Kid (Colin Gillespie)
THE EIGHTS
Sarah
Carly
Khrystyne
(yes, there will be more...JUST YOU WAIT!)
COOL POETRY BLOGS!
Sasja
April
UNCOOL PEOPLE WHO DON'T POST AS OFTEN AS THEY SHOULD!
Chip
Laura McNought
Will
Ted
Spencer
Ty
Alexis
Foo
Sherayna
FUN PLACES TO GO AND THING TO DO
Quizzies:
What Collective Member Are You?--find out if you are me, Brianna, or Laura!!! woo-hoo! written by Barbara
What Dr. Smooth Comic Are You?--discover which comic that Brianna drew is most liek YOU! written by Brianna
The Randomest Quiz You'll Ever Take--written by me. prepare to discover the extent of my inner NERD.
Sites of Awesemity:
DWProductionz--Devin's KICKASS site of video production. check out friends section, it's ME!
Dr. Smooth Comics--warning: only for the TRULY random.
Amay + Bethany's Tuna site--something smells a little fishy around here...
Tasha-Splashly's Site--I neglected her last time *blush!* Tasha, does this mean I get recognition on your friends list???
k, I'm entirely done. bed for me.
Jock McThick and Big Mama Square ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!
I suppose it must be time for another post. *sigh.* I wish I had my boy. He said any number of wonderfuly sweet things to me on msn today. sweet, and...a LITTLE spicy! ;D boy oh boy oh boy do I ever love him.
in other news I have added a great many people today. like five. and there will prolly be more tomorrow. I am curious exactly how many people I have on my contact list now. I know it is close to a hundred, if not more.
speaking of a hundred, that's how many will be coming to my b-day bash in December, as long as super-bitch Moni doesn't evict us by then. yes, she's trying again. she says that the "dogs are too noisy." I'll show her a dog that is too noisy. look in the fucking mirror, bitch. so at this point, I could either have a KICKASS b-day with tons of friends, food and presents times a million, and Chasing Chester playing LIVE; or I could be homeless. I think it's time to cry. Renting sucks.
Grad Survey just came back, and I got shortest grad, AND most likely to become an actress!!! go me! But Mr. Mandziuk is a dickhead so I was only allowed to pick one, so I picked actress. Everybody already knows that I am LITERALLY the shortest grad, and like the fifth youngest, too, so I didn't feel the need to put in that. Devin got totally bitchy because he got best dressed AND most likely to become an actor, and he wanted both but could only pick one. What a PMSer he is. jeez. (jk, love ya babe!)
my fingers are COLD. I miss my boy. and I just wish everything was OVER. I want free time again. OH FUCK. I just realized, I promised my guy that I'd come over tomorrow, but I forgot I have panto tomorrow night. FUCK ASS DICKLICKER SHITZOID BITCH HOLE! I get no love or joy or dignity. just a poke in the bum. *sigh*
and I knew just what I was going to wear, too. fuckTARD.
in other news I have added a great many people today. like five. and there will prolly be more tomorrow. I am curious exactly how many people I have on my contact list now. I know it is close to a hundred, if not more.
speaking of a hundred, that's how many will be coming to my b-day bash in December, as long as super-bitch Moni doesn't evict us by then. yes, she's trying again. she says that the "dogs are too noisy." I'll show her a dog that is too noisy. look in the fucking mirror, bitch. so at this point, I could either have a KICKASS b-day with tons of friends, food and presents times a million, and Chasing Chester playing LIVE; or I could be homeless. I think it's time to cry. Renting sucks.
Grad Survey just came back, and I got shortest grad, AND most likely to become an actress!!! go me! But Mr. Mandziuk is a dickhead so I was only allowed to pick one, so I picked actress. Everybody already knows that I am LITERALLY the shortest grad, and like the fifth youngest, too, so I didn't feel the need to put in that. Devin got totally bitchy because he got best dressed AND most likely to become an actor, and he wanted both but could only pick one. What a PMSer he is. jeez. (jk, love ya babe!)
my fingers are COLD. I miss my boy. and I just wish everything was OVER. I want free time again. OH FUCK. I just realized, I promised my guy that I'd come over tomorrow, but I forgot I have panto tomorrow night. FUCK ASS DICKLICKER SHITZOID BITCH HOLE! I get no love or joy or dignity. just a poke in the bum. *sigh*
and I knew just what I was going to wear, too. fuckTARD.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
"You are my life; for now, forever."
*happy contented love*
i feel bad for being so lucky in love, when poor Bethany's Chip is moving so far away. She has been pretty upset about it, as well she should be, as close as they seemed to be. My heart goes out to her.
today was a pretty good day. Mum woke me up by yelling mean things at me. She told asked if I was up, and I said yes (even though I wasn't) but she didn't hear me, so she asked again, and I replied again in the affirmative (even though it was still a lie), and again, she didn't hear me, and she ended up screaming at me to get up, and I felt bad, and screamed back that I WAS up (even though, it was most definitely a bitter lie) and then had to explain that my voice was sore-throat-stricken, and could not be heard very well across a closed bedroom door. That was unpleasant.
Then I went to school. luckily I caught my bus, and got to school on time, which is to say about five minutes late. Better five, than FORTY-five, I say. Math was ok, I understand some concepts now that I didn't before, however he did not have coffee abrewed for us, and I was entirely sad and neglected. I think he felt bad for me because I was trying to answer questions in my pathetic, high voice of squeaky sickness. Socials was super boring, I worked like a shoe elf for an hour and a half, and as a result have NO homework! woo-hoo!
just before jazz choir, Sean found me at my locker fending off Jake and Ashley who were drunk at school. Jake more so than Ashley. Ashley wasn't even flushed, and her eyes were only a little red. But Jake...oh, Jake. Jake was almost passed out in front of my locker, reeking of alchohol, and had drunken himself stupid. As well he should be, because according to Ashley, he drank an entire forty of Colt 45 to himself. Poor Jake. I actually bonked him on the head with my locker twice, plus I dropped tape on his head! I felt bad about that, but he was drunk and didn't notice, so I saw no harm in it.
anyways, back to the important stuff, Sean was there, and very sweetly and thoughtfully he brought me my VERY OWN XTRA LARGE CAFE MOCCHA from Tim Hortons! Apparently he didn't have work, and decided to spend his time being unbearabley sweet to me! Oh how I don't deserve that boy!
jazz choir, unfortunately was brutal. I wasn't going to sing, but then, no other sopranos even showed up, so I had to sing. It blew monkey chunks. After jazz choir was peer tutoring, which was accompanied by the usual disorder of Sean being in class. Mrs. Tinnion even gave us a stern rat-headed talking to about being professional. All I could think while she was doing that was how good his laundry smelled! I am a goob.
Oh, yeah, i almost forgot. I have to talk some smack about the kids in my peer tutoring class, cause...I told them I was going to. HOO-HAW! um, Jordan...smells like...crabs. Sarah and Melissa--um---ah...*RUNS AWAY!*
k, so that doesn't work when you're trying. whatever, my bile will come out one day. be prepared, little grade eights! (oh man, how ironic is THAT statement?)
after peer tutoring was drama, in which I nazi-ized after a very enjoyable un-silent reading, because there are seventeen days in which Rat-Demon expects us to create a production. stupid retard rodent lady. I hate her so.
after school, instead of MuTh, I went to the mall with Sean and read interior design magazines, and talked about what we want our future to be like. Stop making fun of me, Brianna and Laura, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!!!! cause I have boy. and he loves me so. oh-whoa-whoa-whoa-oh.... later we scraped our pathetic bits of change together, and bought a couple of meatball subs, and felt embarrassed cause we were five cents short. So we ran away with our tails tucked btween our legs, and ate our subs in the mall. There was an enormous spider which Sean squashed for me, but not nearly at the level of enthusiasm and keen-ness I would expect from a handsome prince protecting his princess. but that's ok. it is one dead spidey-widey and that's all that matters.
After that, we caught a bus at an enormously convenient time to his house, and ate more food. And I half watched The Perfect Storm while Sean fell asleep beside me. I love having boys asleep with you. It gives me so much joy! Eventually I had to go home, wherein, my computer decided to be a fucktard of magnificent proportions and have over 800 virus-ridden files on it. fucking bitch shit-ass fuck nut cock hole.
BY THE WAY!!!! SOMEONE PLEASE TELL MY RETARD SISTER THAT...
BLOGS DO...
NOT
GIVE COMPUTERS VIRUSES!!!!!!!!
honestly, unless somebody does something soon, she's going to block blogger, and I won't be able to post AT ALL!!! please, readers! your futures as faithful Fun With Pinto readers is at stake unless you flood my sisters email with protest mail telling her exactly why blogs do NOT give computers viruses, and that Pintoisfun.blogspot.com CANNOT go offline under any circumstances! this is her email: goddess_of_the_seas_4@hotmail.com
now if you are a faithful reader, a newcomer to Fun With Pinto, or a passing internet expert, please tell my sister that blogs don't give computers viruses, and that to take Alleah away from her blogging is like disowning her completely. now beware, family. I am already close to being lost to you. This computer, and it's ability to blog, and blog-surf are one of the main reasons I come home. why else would I bother coming home to a big messy hassle, when all my friends, all of my business is uptown, and my boy isn't even here? think about what cutting me out from blogging would do! just you think about it. *steely glare*
...wow, it's like the Winnipeg general strike of 1919. except with one lonely Pinto.
i feel bad for being so lucky in love, when poor Bethany's Chip is moving so far away. She has been pretty upset about it, as well she should be, as close as they seemed to be. My heart goes out to her.
today was a pretty good day. Mum woke me up by yelling mean things at me. She told asked if I was up, and I said yes (even though I wasn't) but she didn't hear me, so she asked again, and I replied again in the affirmative (even though it was still a lie), and again, she didn't hear me, and she ended up screaming at me to get up, and I felt bad, and screamed back that I WAS up (even though, it was most definitely a bitter lie) and then had to explain that my voice was sore-throat-stricken, and could not be heard very well across a closed bedroom door. That was unpleasant.
Then I went to school. luckily I caught my bus, and got to school on time, which is to say about five minutes late. Better five, than FORTY-five, I say. Math was ok, I understand some concepts now that I didn't before, however he did not have coffee abrewed for us, and I was entirely sad and neglected. I think he felt bad for me because I was trying to answer questions in my pathetic, high voice of squeaky sickness. Socials was super boring, I worked like a shoe elf for an hour and a half, and as a result have NO homework! woo-hoo!
just before jazz choir, Sean found me at my locker fending off Jake and Ashley who were drunk at school. Jake more so than Ashley. Ashley wasn't even flushed, and her eyes were only a little red. But Jake...oh, Jake. Jake was almost passed out in front of my locker, reeking of alchohol, and had drunken himself stupid. As well he should be, because according to Ashley, he drank an entire forty of Colt 45 to himself. Poor Jake. I actually bonked him on the head with my locker twice, plus I dropped tape on his head! I felt bad about that, but he was drunk and didn't notice, so I saw no harm in it.
anyways, back to the important stuff, Sean was there, and very sweetly and thoughtfully he brought me my VERY OWN XTRA LARGE CAFE MOCCHA from Tim Hortons! Apparently he didn't have work, and decided to spend his time being unbearabley sweet to me! Oh how I don't deserve that boy!
jazz choir, unfortunately was brutal. I wasn't going to sing, but then, no other sopranos even showed up, so I had to sing. It blew monkey chunks. After jazz choir was peer tutoring, which was accompanied by the usual disorder of Sean being in class. Mrs. Tinnion even gave us a stern rat-headed talking to about being professional. All I could think while she was doing that was how good his laundry smelled! I am a goob.
Oh, yeah, i almost forgot. I have to talk some smack about the kids in my peer tutoring class, cause...I told them I was going to. HOO-HAW! um, Jordan...smells like...crabs. Sarah and Melissa--um---ah...*RUNS AWAY!*
k, so that doesn't work when you're trying. whatever, my bile will come out one day. be prepared, little grade eights! (oh man, how ironic is THAT statement?)
after peer tutoring was drama, in which I nazi-ized after a very enjoyable un-silent reading, because there are seventeen days in which Rat-Demon expects us to create a production. stupid retard rodent lady. I hate her so.
after school, instead of MuTh, I went to the mall with Sean and read interior design magazines, and talked about what we want our future to be like. Stop making fun of me, Brianna and Laura, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!!!! cause I have boy. and he loves me so. oh-whoa-whoa-whoa-oh.... later we scraped our pathetic bits of change together, and bought a couple of meatball subs, and felt embarrassed cause we were five cents short. So we ran away with our tails tucked btween our legs, and ate our subs in the mall. There was an enormous spider which Sean squashed for me, but not nearly at the level of enthusiasm and keen-ness I would expect from a handsome prince protecting his princess. but that's ok. it is one dead spidey-widey and that's all that matters.
After that, we caught a bus at an enormously convenient time to his house, and ate more food. And I half watched The Perfect Storm while Sean fell asleep beside me. I love having boys asleep with you. It gives me so much joy! Eventually I had to go home, wherein, my computer decided to be a fucktard of magnificent proportions and have over 800 virus-ridden files on it. fucking bitch shit-ass fuck nut cock hole.
BY THE WAY!!!! SOMEONE PLEASE TELL MY RETARD SISTER THAT...
BLOGS DO...
NOT
GIVE COMPUTERS VIRUSES!!!!!!!!
honestly, unless somebody does something soon, she's going to block blogger, and I won't be able to post AT ALL!!! please, readers! your futures as faithful Fun With Pinto readers is at stake unless you flood my sisters email with protest mail telling her exactly why blogs do NOT give computers viruses, and that Pintoisfun.blogspot.com CANNOT go offline under any circumstances! this is her email: goddess_of_the_seas_4@hotmail.com
now if you are a faithful reader, a newcomer to Fun With Pinto, or a passing internet expert, please tell my sister that blogs don't give computers viruses, and that to take Alleah away from her blogging is like disowning her completely. now beware, family. I am already close to being lost to you. This computer, and it's ability to blog, and blog-surf are one of the main reasons I come home. why else would I bother coming home to a big messy hassle, when all my friends, all of my business is uptown, and my boy isn't even here? think about what cutting me out from blogging would do! just you think about it. *steely glare*
...wow, it's like the Winnipeg general strike of 1919. except with one lonely Pinto.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
storytime!
"It has been said through out the ages that mammoths have been extinct for thousands of yearsor so i was led to belive from an early age. So you could imagine my suprise when i awoketo a mammoth eating all of my oatmeal out of my swimming pool. Whilst said mammoth was feasting on the bounty of my swimming pool i ran to my room, unsheathed my mighty sword and charged the mammoth still partaking in the glorious breakfast in my pool. So it began the battle to end all battles, i continued charging and as i did i cried "onward to battle, to glory"That is when the mighty mammoth raised its giant trunk and struck. I was hurtled six hundred and sixty two miles from my home. As i lay defeted, and in agonizing pain i decided to make a quick phone call to my house to see if anyone would answer. Much to my disappointment the mammoth answered and proclaimed himself king/emperor of my house. There he built an army, gathering troops from every directon"
written by a guy named Nate in a place Far Far Away. yay, Nate!
written by a guy named Nate in a place Far Far Away. yay, Nate!
things Alleah loves
I have been updating my blogger profile times a million today, and I was tweaking my interests. I just started listing all the things I loved, and realized that there were far too many for me to list, and half of them weren't actually interests, per se, they were just things that are dear to me. So I have decided to devote a post to the things that I love more than anything, be they interest, ideological idea, animal, mineral or vegetable. I may arrange them from the most loved to the not most loved, or maybe not.
-laughing
-cuddling
-being inside by the fireplace on a rainy day with a blanket, a book, my dogs, and no responsibilities.
-traveling to new places
-navigating on road trips
-organizing something that is pulled off really well
-buying makeup
-applying makeup
-creating new looks with makeup
-removing great amounts of theatre makeup with one swipe using petroleum jelly and baby wipes (oh so satisfying!)
-watching a really great movie that made me laugh, cry, squirm, and sigh.
-hearing my boy tell me he loves me.
-telling my boy I love him.
-loving in general.
-eating something I love.
-getting out of the bath and into clothes fresh from the dryer.
-running and playing with my dogs.
-watching my dogs do funny things.
-living with puppies.
-watching puppies do funny things.
-cleaning of the thorough variety.
-reading about architecture, and interior design.
-discussing religions
-alone time
-getting rides places so I don't have to get myself somewhere
-finding emails from people I like that aren't just forwards.
-wishing
-sleeping
-giving people gifts that you KNOW they are going to LOVE.
-Collective sleepovers where we talk about everything that we don't talk about elsewhere, and eat chips and pop all night, and ice cream for breakfast, and lie all over each other, and tickle each other, and fall asleep while laughing.
-laughing hysterically.
-singing harmony
-arranging songs
-hitting a chord by accident that works better than anything you could have come up with on your own.
-comfortable silences.
-saying the same thing at the same time.
-yelling at someone who has REALLY REALLY REALLY been pissing you off, and having them recognize what they did wrong.
-a really really good performance.
-enthusiastic applause
-a full house
-individual recognition for an un-individual role.
-meeting new people who aren't freaked out by my forward-ness.
-gaining new friends
-feeling loved, feeling needed, and feeling valued.
-feeling useful.
-feeling rested.
-having good conversations with people that don't turn one-sided, or into fights.
-showers.
-bath products that smell good.
-knowing you look good.
-having other people recognize that you look good.
-sun
-fire
-warmth
-contentedness
-waking up to find a cat curled up on you
-waking up to find a boy gazing at you with love in his eyes.
-having someone to cling to after a nightmare.
-having an animal who trusts, and loves you
-people laughing at your jokes
-memories
-pictures
-items that have nostalgic value
-being able to return to your past.
on that cryptic note, I have to go catch a bus that heads out to the neighborhood of my past. it's time for me to go to pantomime now. see you tonight...
-laughing
-cuddling
-being inside by the fireplace on a rainy day with a blanket, a book, my dogs, and no responsibilities.
-traveling to new places
-navigating on road trips
-organizing something that is pulled off really well
-buying makeup
-applying makeup
-creating new looks with makeup
-removing great amounts of theatre makeup with one swipe using petroleum jelly and baby wipes (oh so satisfying!)
-watching a really great movie that made me laugh, cry, squirm, and sigh.
-hearing my boy tell me he loves me.
-telling my boy I love him.
-loving in general.
-eating something I love.
-getting out of the bath and into clothes fresh from the dryer.
-running and playing with my dogs.
-watching my dogs do funny things.
-living with puppies.
-watching puppies do funny things.
-cleaning of the thorough variety.
-reading about architecture, and interior design.
-discussing religions
-alone time
-getting rides places so I don't have to get myself somewhere
-finding emails from people I like that aren't just forwards.
-wishing
-sleeping
-giving people gifts that you KNOW they are going to LOVE.
-Collective sleepovers where we talk about everything that we don't talk about elsewhere, and eat chips and pop all night, and ice cream for breakfast, and lie all over each other, and tickle each other, and fall asleep while laughing.
-laughing hysterically.
-singing harmony
-arranging songs
-hitting a chord by accident that works better than anything you could have come up with on your own.
-comfortable silences.
-saying the same thing at the same time.
-yelling at someone who has REALLY REALLY REALLY been pissing you off, and having them recognize what they did wrong.
-a really really good performance.
-enthusiastic applause
-a full house
-individual recognition for an un-individual role.
-meeting new people who aren't freaked out by my forward-ness.
-gaining new friends
-feeling loved, feeling needed, and feeling valued.
-feeling useful.
-feeling rested.
-having good conversations with people that don't turn one-sided, or into fights.
-showers.
-bath products that smell good.
-knowing you look good.
-having other people recognize that you look good.
-sun
-fire
-warmth
-contentedness
-waking up to find a cat curled up on you
-waking up to find a boy gazing at you with love in his eyes.
-having someone to cling to after a nightmare.
-having an animal who trusts, and loves you
-people laughing at your jokes
-memories
-pictures
-items that have nostalgic value
-being able to return to your past.
on that cryptic note, I have to go catch a bus that heads out to the neighborhood of my past. it's time for me to go to pantomime now. see you tonight...
my face is...uck
I am SO incredibly sick right now!!! I hate it! And it's all Brianna's fault, too. Lump of coal is all she's getting in her Christmas stocking. gee whisikers, I mean really.
So this post is pretty pointless, I'm really just posting it to cover up that crapdammit link post below. I tried to delete that P.O.S. but would it listen to me? I think not. At any rate, I have been blogsurfing, and harassing people I may or may not know with shameless plugs to visit Fun With Pinto, so I am really doing a little light cleanup in preparation for their visits. Kind of like housecleaning in preparation for actual visitors. Wow, do I ever need a life.
Panto rehearsal today at one. I have to leave in a bit. Do not do not do NOT want to go. I am having a lazy day, and in fact, a lazy long weekend as well. That is a relief. I have not had one in ever so long, what with panto rehearsal, and MuTh rehearsal, and Mime rehearsal, and choir, and Sean and what little Collective rehearsing we've been doing of late. The evil gods of sickness seem to have struck down Collective and our attempts at making music lately. First, Gator was sick, and we could practice, but only a little. She got Brianna sick, and then practice was ENTIRELY off because Brianna couldn't get a note out of a tin bucket, let alone practice soem good serious harmony. Now I'm sick, and I've even missed crazy singing day practice for MuTh, so it is unlikely that I'll be doing much Collective practicing.
oh, remind me. toda I have to speak to the panto producers to secure The Collective's spot on the preshow bill. remind remind remind.
k, I am done with this blogging business now. I shall go harass some more hapless victims. bwa-ha-ha.
way too sick for this shit. blech.
So this post is pretty pointless, I'm really just posting it to cover up that crapdammit link post below. I tried to delete that P.O.S. but would it listen to me? I think not. At any rate, I have been blogsurfing, and harassing people I may or may not know with shameless plugs to visit Fun With Pinto, so I am really doing a little light cleanup in preparation for their visits. Kind of like housecleaning in preparation for actual visitors. Wow, do I ever need a life.
Panto rehearsal today at one. I have to leave in a bit. Do not do not do NOT want to go. I am having a lazy day, and in fact, a lazy long weekend as well. That is a relief. I have not had one in ever so long, what with panto rehearsal, and MuTh rehearsal, and Mime rehearsal, and choir, and Sean and what little Collective rehearsing we've been doing of late. The evil gods of sickness seem to have struck down Collective and our attempts at making music lately. First, Gator was sick, and we could practice, but only a little. She got Brianna sick, and then practice was ENTIRELY off because Brianna couldn't get a note out of a tin bucket, let alone practice soem good serious harmony. Now I'm sick, and I've even missed crazy singing day practice for MuTh, so it is unlikely that I'll be doing much Collective practicing.
oh, remind me. toda I have to speak to the panto producers to secure The Collective's spot on the preshow bill. remind remind remind.
k, I am done with this blogging business now. I shall go harass some more hapless victims. bwa-ha-ha.
way too sick for this shit. blech.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Friday, November 12, 2004
"so long as propinquity does not get in the way of mutual virtue, on this endeavor, I will condone"
well, that's where I get my vocabulary skills! that is a choice quote from my mother, on the subject of the possible Disneyland trip! Sean, talk to me quick, I seriously have to talk to you about that!
oyh, and Kevin, it turns out that I actually did recieve your postcard, but my family had "put it up" until I got home, because apparently I was out somewhere, and promptly forgot about it. Good news is, when I mentioned it today, my mummy remembered it, and went and found it for me. I enjoyed reading it IMMENSELY! And btw, your theory about the Collective, and their boyfriends may have something to it! My mum was astonished at the amount of writing you got on there! She actually thought that you and written it normal size, then scanned it, and reduced the size, to be able to get it on there, but I defended you, and your mad tiny print skills. Anyways, it is going up in my locker ASAP.
In other news, after I finish this, I am going to maybe write an email to Sean describing what I found while researching Disney vacations, OR go take a super long shower because I am evily dirty after taking the dogs for a walk. That was tons of fun! Mum and I walked down to a baseball field, while discussing the Disney trip, and then let the dogs off, and ran around with them for a good fifteen minutes. Ahrodie and Sensei absolutely loved it! They haven't had a really super good walk for such a long time.
hey, Sean, another thing I wanted to ask you was: my mum is an astrologer, and she offered to do a wheel on you. So, if you want to, give me your date, time and place of birth and Mum will draw up your chart, discover what she can of it, and then we can go over it over dinner sometime. If you want to. She's really super good at it, and it is a ton of fun, plus you're getting it for free which is a huge bonus when it comes to stuff like astrology!
anyways, I am off to get clean. I am seeing Sean tonight, woo-hoo!! can't wait!
oyh, and Kevin, it turns out that I actually did recieve your postcard, but my family had "put it up" until I got home, because apparently I was out somewhere, and promptly forgot about it. Good news is, when I mentioned it today, my mummy remembered it, and went and found it for me. I enjoyed reading it IMMENSELY! And btw, your theory about the Collective, and their boyfriends may have something to it! My mum was astonished at the amount of writing you got on there! She actually thought that you and written it normal size, then scanned it, and reduced the size, to be able to get it on there, but I defended you, and your mad tiny print skills. Anyways, it is going up in my locker ASAP.
In other news, after I finish this, I am going to maybe write an email to Sean describing what I found while researching Disney vacations, OR go take a super long shower because I am evily dirty after taking the dogs for a walk. That was tons of fun! Mum and I walked down to a baseball field, while discussing the Disney trip, and then let the dogs off, and ran around with them for a good fifteen minutes. Ahrodie and Sensei absolutely loved it! They haven't had a really super good walk for such a long time.
hey, Sean, another thing I wanted to ask you was: my mum is an astrologer, and she offered to do a wheel on you. So, if you want to, give me your date, time and place of birth and Mum will draw up your chart, discover what she can of it, and then we can go over it over dinner sometime. If you want to. She's really super good at it, and it is a ton of fun, plus you're getting it for free which is a huge bonus when it comes to stuff like astrology!
anyways, I am off to get clean. I am seeing Sean tonight, woo-hoo!! can't wait!
hoo-HAW, boy!
I love Robin Williams. Mrs. Doubtfire was excellent.
So I have exciting news! I was speaking with Sean yesterday, and there is the smallest possibility that we could go to Disneyland for Spring Break!!! I don't want to say any more about it for fear of jinxing it, but let it be known that I have absolutely the best, coolest, awesomest, sweetest, most generous, hottest boy in the world! I love him so much!
yesterday, me and him hung out all day. I walked to his house around eleven (ugh!), and we hung out and cuddled for a while. I gave him a massage that he enjoyed, apparently. After that, we went on the computer, and Microsoft Paint-ed a picture from the set of Brand New Day into awesemity! Details soon...unless you're Lorenz. ;)
(oh, ack! I had the worst dream ever this morning! It started weird, and ended horrifying. At first, I dreamt I was some kind of wraith thing, and that I haunted Dover, which was kind of shaped like a castle. So I went around, minding my own wraith-like business, until one day, I discovered a lecture hall full of unsupervised students. So I played with the lighting system until they were good and terrified, and then ran around them shrieking banshee-like things at them. but unfortunately, THAT ploy back fired, because then they just thought it was one of the drama students putting on an impromptu show for them, and they started cheering. For some reason, all the happiness banished me, and I ran to the back of the room, and jumped down these ducts that were super super wide, and stone-walled. I landed on dirt floor, and then it was the first day of school. Apparently I had to take a couple classes up at Dover for some reason, so me and Gator went to an English class. And the teacher was Mrs. Tinnion!!! argle-BARF! then while she tried to start the lesson, a dog barking was interrupting her. And I recognized the bark as Ahrodie's. I was very confused as to why she was at my school, but in dreams everything is supposed to make sense, even if you are confused. so I walked over to the window, because she started barking harder when she heard me speak, and I discovered her, and about a dozen other doggies, including little Tika, in this chainlink fence cage thing. And they were huddled, and scared, and looked dirty and underfed. So I crawled into it, and gave my two doggies lots of pets, and lovins, and cuddled them, because they were both really frightened. Then I got really uncomfortable in the cage thing, so I took Ahrodie and Tika into the classroom with me. Tinnion tried to tell me that I couldn't have the dogs in the classroom with me, and I told her to shove it up her ass. Later, after the class was finished, I was standing outside with Gator, and the dogs by the chain link cage thing, and suddenly it transformed, and started folding up at the edges WITH the other doggies inside! And me and Gator were screaming "no" but we couldn't tell where the movement of the cage was controlled from, so we didn't know who to scream "no" at. And all the poor doggies that I didn't save got SQUASHED!!! And I started weeping hysterically. And then I woke up.)
I digress... so after making that picture, me and Seand ecided to walk up to Devin's house. There we watched some new footage that we hadn't seen before, and the footage of the Remembrance Day ceremony at my school. There's one part where it's so funny! Me and Devin have just finished "In Flanders Fields," and Devin says thank you into the mike all prima donna-ish, and I ROLLED MY EYES! And it's totally on camera! It was so funny! And we made fun of/picked to technical peices both of the choir songs. I am such a whore when I want to be. I am so hard on th choir, because that is where my perfectionist tendencies come out. And I get irrationally infuriated at anyone who is in choir who doesn't share those perfectionist tendencies. And btw, when I say "perfectionist," I mean I ALWAYS have something we can improve on. We can have just pulled off Loch Lomond, AT FESTIVAL with two cold-stricken soloists (like Grade Nine, when me and Mike both had colds at Festival) and still I literally have to swallow ALL of my perfectionist bile just to be able to compliment the other choir members on their job well done, wether or not I feel they actually did one. I always have to restrain myself from going up to people that I hear off key, or missing cutoffs, or whatever, and raging on them. Actually, with the girls, I don't restrain myself from that. Everytime we get off stage, I start critiqueing the performance we've just done. I am such a bitch. And boy did that ever come out yesterday while watching the choir footage. I raged about the tuning in the boys, and raged about the expression in the girls, I raged about the idiocy of Lee, and Kim to wear pants with white down the sides. I raged at my own stupidity to look so retardedly idiotic while singing. God, I hate what I look like when I sing! I think I'm giving expression, but really what I'm doing is giving the expression of a drooling, mentally-handicapped midget. BAH!
anyways...after watching footage at Devin's, him and his Mom gave us a ride to Tim Horton's cause I NEEDED my cappacino. Times an absolute lot. For some reason, there, I started to feel irrationally sad. I have absolutely no reason. At first, it was because I had to pay with change, and I HATE doing that with a passion. It's my pet peeve. Then, I dunno... It seemed like there was no reason for me to be sad, but I was. But that's kind of typical, for me. In Grade Seven, when I had my big ole depression episodes, I was diagnosed with chronic depression that could turn into bipolar disorder with time, which is kind of screwy, but whatever. So that's the explanation for that.
After that, we went and called Sean's Mom for a ride, maybe up to WalMart, and maybe to get some food. Ian ended up giving us a ride back to the motel. There we ate shrimpy rice, with sausage, and corn. And after, me and Sean watched tv/cuddled/kissed in his room. After a while it got kind of serious, and we were just staring into each other's eyes. For some reason, I felt this compellingly devoted feeling come voer me, and suddenly I felt the need to tell him everything that I felt. Now that was a little odd, because we've done that over msn, and crud, but there, it's a little clinical. Like, I can think about what I'm about to type, and think about the wording on msn. But yesterday, I just started feeling all these things, and had to express them. It was so heartfelt...it brought Sean to tears! :D I love him so much! We exchanged some sentiments of love, and then cuddled until we fell asleep in his bed. And then I had to leave. :( *tear*
this morning, I am supposed to go to Bye Bye Birdie for the singing thing, but I am feeling SO sick. I also have to cancel me and Gator's appointments. Remind me to do that will ya? I think I am going back to bed now.
So I have exciting news! I was speaking with Sean yesterday, and there is the smallest possibility that we could go to Disneyland for Spring Break!!! I don't want to say any more about it for fear of jinxing it, but let it be known that I have absolutely the best, coolest, awesomest, sweetest, most generous, hottest boy in the world! I love him so much!
yesterday, me and him hung out all day. I walked to his house around eleven (ugh!), and we hung out and cuddled for a while. I gave him a massage that he enjoyed, apparently. After that, we went on the computer, and Microsoft Paint-ed a picture from the set of Brand New Day into awesemity! Details soon...unless you're Lorenz. ;)
(oh, ack! I had the worst dream ever this morning! It started weird, and ended horrifying. At first, I dreamt I was some kind of wraith thing, and that I haunted Dover, which was kind of shaped like a castle. So I went around, minding my own wraith-like business, until one day, I discovered a lecture hall full of unsupervised students. So I played with the lighting system until they were good and terrified, and then ran around them shrieking banshee-like things at them. but unfortunately, THAT ploy back fired, because then they just thought it was one of the drama students putting on an impromptu show for them, and they started cheering. For some reason, all the happiness banished me, and I ran to the back of the room, and jumped down these ducts that were super super wide, and stone-walled. I landed on dirt floor, and then it was the first day of school. Apparently I had to take a couple classes up at Dover for some reason, so me and Gator went to an English class. And the teacher was Mrs. Tinnion!!! argle-BARF! then while she tried to start the lesson, a dog barking was interrupting her. And I recognized the bark as Ahrodie's. I was very confused as to why she was at my school, but in dreams everything is supposed to make sense, even if you are confused. so I walked over to the window, because she started barking harder when she heard me speak, and I discovered her, and about a dozen other doggies, including little Tika, in this chainlink fence cage thing. And they were huddled, and scared, and looked dirty and underfed. So I crawled into it, and gave my two doggies lots of pets, and lovins, and cuddled them, because they were both really frightened. Then I got really uncomfortable in the cage thing, so I took Ahrodie and Tika into the classroom with me. Tinnion tried to tell me that I couldn't have the dogs in the classroom with me, and I told her to shove it up her ass. Later, after the class was finished, I was standing outside with Gator, and the dogs by the chain link cage thing, and suddenly it transformed, and started folding up at the edges WITH the other doggies inside! And me and Gator were screaming "no" but we couldn't tell where the movement of the cage was controlled from, so we didn't know who to scream "no" at. And all the poor doggies that I didn't save got SQUASHED!!! And I started weeping hysterically. And then I woke up.)
I digress... so after making that picture, me and Seand ecided to walk up to Devin's house. There we watched some new footage that we hadn't seen before, and the footage of the Remembrance Day ceremony at my school. There's one part where it's so funny! Me and Devin have just finished "In Flanders Fields," and Devin says thank you into the mike all prima donna-ish, and I ROLLED MY EYES! And it's totally on camera! It was so funny! And we made fun of/picked to technical peices both of the choir songs. I am such a whore when I want to be. I am so hard on th choir, because that is where my perfectionist tendencies come out. And I get irrationally infuriated at anyone who is in choir who doesn't share those perfectionist tendencies. And btw, when I say "perfectionist," I mean I ALWAYS have something we can improve on. We can have just pulled off Loch Lomond, AT FESTIVAL with two cold-stricken soloists (like Grade Nine, when me and Mike both had colds at Festival) and still I literally have to swallow ALL of my perfectionist bile just to be able to compliment the other choir members on their job well done, wether or not I feel they actually did one. I always have to restrain myself from going up to people that I hear off key, or missing cutoffs, or whatever, and raging on them. Actually, with the girls, I don't restrain myself from that. Everytime we get off stage, I start critiqueing the performance we've just done. I am such a bitch. And boy did that ever come out yesterday while watching the choir footage. I raged about the tuning in the boys, and raged about the expression in the girls, I raged about the idiocy of Lee, and Kim to wear pants with white down the sides. I raged at my own stupidity to look so retardedly idiotic while singing. God, I hate what I look like when I sing! I think I'm giving expression, but really what I'm doing is giving the expression of a drooling, mentally-handicapped midget. BAH!
anyways...after watching footage at Devin's, him and his Mom gave us a ride to Tim Horton's cause I NEEDED my cappacino. Times an absolute lot. For some reason, there, I started to feel irrationally sad. I have absolutely no reason. At first, it was because I had to pay with change, and I HATE doing that with a passion. It's my pet peeve. Then, I dunno... It seemed like there was no reason for me to be sad, but I was. But that's kind of typical, for me. In Grade Seven, when I had my big ole depression episodes, I was diagnosed with chronic depression that could turn into bipolar disorder with time, which is kind of screwy, but whatever. So that's the explanation for that.
After that, we went and called Sean's Mom for a ride, maybe up to WalMart, and maybe to get some food. Ian ended up giving us a ride back to the motel. There we ate shrimpy rice, with sausage, and corn. And after, me and Sean watched tv/cuddled/kissed in his room. After a while it got kind of serious, and we were just staring into each other's eyes. For some reason, I felt this compellingly devoted feeling come voer me, and suddenly I felt the need to tell him everything that I felt. Now that was a little odd, because we've done that over msn, and crud, but there, it's a little clinical. Like, I can think about what I'm about to type, and think about the wording on msn. But yesterday, I just started feeling all these things, and had to express them. It was so heartfelt...it brought Sean to tears! :D I love him so much! We exchanged some sentiments of love, and then cuddled until we fell asleep in his bed. And then I had to leave. :( *tear*
this morning, I am supposed to go to Bye Bye Birdie for the singing thing, but I am feeling SO sick. I also have to cancel me and Gator's appointments. Remind me to do that will ya? I think I am going back to bed now.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
post--continued
so anyways, more of today...
I got home, and my boy was not on msn, nor had he blogged, nor had he sent me an email. he had posted a comment on my bloggy blog, though, and at twenty to six! I take that to mean that he doesn't work full twelve hour days, cause yesterday he blogged, also at quarter to six. However, this means NOTHING if I don't get home until six thirty!!! :( I hope I see him tomorrow. I miss him a lot.
...wait a minute. Haven't we been over this? There was more to my day than just interesting destinations with Gator, and Mel and Tim, and missing my boy. Also, I had a very cordial, very interesting conversation with Chris Read, my ex boyfriend. We discussed among other things, Kevin Dobson, the key of B, and why his current girlfriend hates me irrationally. It was fun! I enjoyed it. Also, I talked to Geoff, and Boy Spencer on webcam with audio for quite a while. That was a lot of fun! We laughed, and joked around, and I listened to "Chasing My Chester" and "the masturbation song", two of the songs their band Chasing Chester has written. That was fun. Then I walked Ahrodie. That was also enjoyable.
I had an okay day, overall. It was not terribly stressful, nor was it incredibly fun-tastic. It was ok. It was brought down by the fact that--you guessed it--I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO MY BOY IN TWO DAYS!!!
I miss him... *pout*
I got home, and my boy was not on msn, nor had he blogged, nor had he sent me an email. he had posted a comment on my bloggy blog, though, and at twenty to six! I take that to mean that he doesn't work full twelve hour days, cause yesterday he blogged, also at quarter to six. However, this means NOTHING if I don't get home until six thirty!!! :( I hope I see him tomorrow. I miss him a lot.
...wait a minute. Haven't we been over this? There was more to my day than just interesting destinations with Gator, and Mel and Tim, and missing my boy. Also, I had a very cordial, very interesting conversation with Chris Read, my ex boyfriend. We discussed among other things, Kevin Dobson, the key of B, and why his current girlfriend hates me irrationally. It was fun! I enjoyed it. Also, I talked to Geoff, and Boy Spencer on webcam with audio for quite a while. That was a lot of fun! We laughed, and joked around, and I listened to "Chasing My Chester" and "the masturbation song", two of the songs their band Chasing Chester has written. That was fun. Then I walked Ahrodie. That was also enjoyable.
I had an okay day, overall. It was not terribly stressful, nor was it incredibly fun-tastic. It was ok. It was brought down by the fact that--you guessed it--I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO MY BOY IN TWO DAYS!!!
I miss him... *pout*
I miss my boy!!!
I didn't talk to him at all yesterday, and I just called him, but he was at the church!!! I want to organize tomorrow with him!!! (I mean, I am assuming we are doing something, it is our two month after all...) anyways, I told his dad to tell him to call me when he gets home, so hopefully I'll talk to him today.
So I made a very interesting trip today. To a very interesting place. And yes, I saw someone I knew and was very cliche-ily embarrassed. However, they wouldn't take anymore walk-ins, so Gator and I had to make appointments! bugger. I hate hassle. but it's ok, cause when it's all over and done with, it'll have been worth it. Unfortunately, though, the appointment is with bastardly place that charges twelve dollars a month, not five dollars a month. I blame Mel. I wanted to take the number three and go to the place by the hospital, but she wanted to take the 44, and go to the one on Fitzwilliam. But whatever. I'll just get next month's at cheap place.
brb, dog walking. I'll continure this post later
So I made a very interesting trip today. To a very interesting place. And yes, I saw someone I knew and was very cliche-ily embarrassed. However, they wouldn't take anymore walk-ins, so Gator and I had to make appointments! bugger. I hate hassle. but it's ok, cause when it's all over and done with, it'll have been worth it. Unfortunately, though, the appointment is with bastardly place that charges twelve dollars a month, not five dollars a month. I blame Mel. I wanted to take the number three and go to the place by the hospital, but she wanted to take the 44, and go to the one on Fitzwilliam. But whatever. I'll just get next month's at cheap place.
brb, dog walking. I'll continure this post later
Monday, November 08, 2004
alerting you to a small bit of administrative suck-ass
I posted today, but it's under "Will says I am shmort--but then Will like to play female roles, so I am not sure how trustworthy his word is." and now, Blogger won't show it on the website at all...but I have it in my files, so don't worry, I shall post it soon under the above title.
just a kind headsup from your friends here at Fun With Pinto. now suck my dick, Blogger.
just a kind headsup from your friends here at Fun With Pinto. now suck my dick, Blogger.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
nostalgia times a million
k, I am the biggest goob ever (and today feels like it's been two separate days...curious). I was an hour early for panto today (ack!) so I decided to walk around a bit. Now panto is at the Bailey Theatre which is smack dab in the middle of my old neighborhood. I grew up alongside the Bailey Theatre. So as I was walking around I kept having all these memories of my childhood. Biking to Dawn or Colleen's houses the summer before Grade Five, walking to school with Amanda in Grade Seven, every Halloween ever since Grade Four. I kept thinking about what I felt back then, what my days were like, the things I thought about. I am so different now. It's astonishing.
Then I walked around in the Back 40 for a bit (and I don't CARE how much you guys make fun of me for calling it that, at one point in time it WAS forty acres, so kiss my bum), and I nearly cried. There are so many memories there from hanging out with Amanda, and Ryan in the first couple years of high school. In Grade Eight, me and her would go to the back 40 at least once every week, and sit on the Plateau and eat chips,a dn drink Slurpee, no matter what season it was. Playing Truth or Dare in the fort, or at the Arbutus Tree. (yes these places are all capitalized, and no I do not care what you think. I defy you all) walking around the track that people used for dirt biking endlessly, just talking about our impressions of high school, which was so new to us at the time. The rock that me and Amanda found, and decided to make our place where we burnt stuff (freaking pyros we were), and the fire pit where all the older kids partied (assumably from all the beer cans, and burnt couches we found there).
Just all these memories of the people I knew, and the things I did ran through my head the whole time. I decided to walk up to Co-op, and get a coffee, just like old times. And I walked past the tot lot where me and Amanda used to hide out, and talk about the guys we liked, and where I smoked pot for the second time in my life with some girl named Sarah. I used to walk to school through that tot lot. And I remember me, and *oh crap who was it...some guy friend of mine--maybe Greg or maybe Josh. can't remember* stole apples from some guys yard. They were the sweetest, yummiest, crispest apples I have ever tasted, and I have literally spent ever since trying to find more of those apples. But no store carries them, and that tree has stopped producing now, so no more yummy apples for me. Anyways, I also walked by the forest-y type area where Quinn spent an entire summer building the biggest bestest tree fort EVER. It was the coolest thing in the world...it was forty feet up between three pine trees, right in the thickest part of the foresty area. You would never have noticed it unless you knew it was there. Then he broke off almost all the branches leading up to it, so unless you knew where to step you couldn't get up to it. And once you knew where the steps were, it was so easy to get up; like I was a fraction of his height, but the branches he left in place were just perfect for even me to get up to the tree fort. Then when you got up there, it was three levels, not including the roof for the top level, and the middle level had a balcony reaching four feet away from the trees. I used to hang out with Quinn, and his friend Donnie, watching them build it. Quinn had the best balance and would always dance on one foot on the outer-most frame of the balcony while it was still half-finished, and I would always have a heart-attack. One day, though, he learnt his lesson because he actually did fall off! He fell forty feet, and landed right on his back, in a huge pile of pine needles. He didn't hurt himself other than knocking the breath out of himself, and knocking himself out cold for a couple seconds, but still he didn't casually dance around the frame again after that! Thankfully I wasn't there when that happened, or I would have shit myself. Yes. Shit myself. He showed me the crater of pine needles later, though, and it was enormous! Also one of them always saved me from spiders, or gave me their sweater if I was cold, or shared their junk food with me. I have the coolest big brother ever! I have so many stories of stuff that happened in that tree fort, it's awesome. Anyways, it was truly the absolute coolest tree fort ever, and my brother got advice from my Mom (who is an architect) about how to improve it, and give it really cool features, but then he went and met April (my sister-in-law) and production on the tree fort stalled into death. By now, city workers have probably torn it down.
Anyways, I went to the Co-op, and thought about how Mom and I used to buy coffee there every single day in the last two years of high school, and how we'd take the dogs for a walk adn leave them on their leashes outside Co-op's doors, while we got our coffee, and maybe a burritto if I pleaded hard enough. Then I went in, and got my typical large French Vanilla cappacino with three French Vanilla creamers unstirred, just poured in, and covered with a white lid, just like always. And I took it up to the counter, and Johnny was working! He wasn't looking at me at first, and I said his name, and he turned around, and his face just softened, and his tone completely changed! He had this huge smile on his face, and we talked about what each of us had been up to lately, and how all of my old neighbors had moved away, and what other Co-op employees were up to, but there were a lot of customers so I couldn't speak to him as much as I wanted to. Then I went to pay, and he waved me off, saying that it was on him, just like old times, and I nearly died with happiness!
So I took my coffee, and jaywalked across Labieux, right at the tricky spot, just because I knew how to do it without getting beaned by a car, and walked back to the Bailey Theatre. It was astonishing. I had my exact old coffee, and life smelled just like my childhood (OMG! Gator! I just realized! I understand what you meant now! *joy!*). I almost cried. As it was, I was so crazy I was talking to myself. Mostly relating things that I remembered about everything I passed.
Anyways, that's why I am a goob. I am sorry I made you sit through that speil about my childhood, I am sure that it was not entirely fun for you. But that was what my today was like, and maybe now you all have a little better idea of the times that made me who I am today. (oh, am a corndog! forgive me!)
Then I walked around in the Back 40 for a bit (and I don't CARE how much you guys make fun of me for calling it that, at one point in time it WAS forty acres, so kiss my bum), and I nearly cried. There are so many memories there from hanging out with Amanda, and Ryan in the first couple years of high school. In Grade Eight, me and her would go to the back 40 at least once every week, and sit on the Plateau and eat chips,a dn drink Slurpee, no matter what season it was. Playing Truth or Dare in the fort, or at the Arbutus Tree. (yes these places are all capitalized, and no I do not care what you think. I defy you all) walking around the track that people used for dirt biking endlessly, just talking about our impressions of high school, which was so new to us at the time. The rock that me and Amanda found, and decided to make our place where we burnt stuff (freaking pyros we were), and the fire pit where all the older kids partied (assumably from all the beer cans, and burnt couches we found there).
Just all these memories of the people I knew, and the things I did ran through my head the whole time. I decided to walk up to Co-op, and get a coffee, just like old times. And I walked past the tot lot where me and Amanda used to hide out, and talk about the guys we liked, and where I smoked pot for the second time in my life with some girl named Sarah. I used to walk to school through that tot lot. And I remember me, and *oh crap who was it...some guy friend of mine--maybe Greg or maybe Josh. can't remember* stole apples from some guys yard. They were the sweetest, yummiest, crispest apples I have ever tasted, and I have literally spent ever since trying to find more of those apples. But no store carries them, and that tree has stopped producing now, so no more yummy apples for me. Anyways, I also walked by the forest-y type area where Quinn spent an entire summer building the biggest bestest tree fort EVER. It was the coolest thing in the world...it was forty feet up between three pine trees, right in the thickest part of the foresty area. You would never have noticed it unless you knew it was there. Then he broke off almost all the branches leading up to it, so unless you knew where to step you couldn't get up to it. And once you knew where the steps were, it was so easy to get up; like I was a fraction of his height, but the branches he left in place were just perfect for even me to get up to the tree fort. Then when you got up there, it was three levels, not including the roof for the top level, and the middle level had a balcony reaching four feet away from the trees. I used to hang out with Quinn, and his friend Donnie, watching them build it. Quinn had the best balance and would always dance on one foot on the outer-most frame of the balcony while it was still half-finished, and I would always have a heart-attack. One day, though, he learnt his lesson because he actually did fall off! He fell forty feet, and landed right on his back, in a huge pile of pine needles. He didn't hurt himself other than knocking the breath out of himself, and knocking himself out cold for a couple seconds, but still he didn't casually dance around the frame again after that! Thankfully I wasn't there when that happened, or I would have shit myself. Yes. Shit myself. He showed me the crater of pine needles later, though, and it was enormous! Also one of them always saved me from spiders, or gave me their sweater if I was cold, or shared their junk food with me. I have the coolest big brother ever! I have so many stories of stuff that happened in that tree fort, it's awesome. Anyways, it was truly the absolute coolest tree fort ever, and my brother got advice from my Mom (who is an architect) about how to improve it, and give it really cool features, but then he went and met April (my sister-in-law) and production on the tree fort stalled into death. By now, city workers have probably torn it down.
Anyways, I went to the Co-op, and thought about how Mom and I used to buy coffee there every single day in the last two years of high school, and how we'd take the dogs for a walk adn leave them on their leashes outside Co-op's doors, while we got our coffee, and maybe a burritto if I pleaded hard enough. Then I went in, and got my typical large French Vanilla cappacino with three French Vanilla creamers unstirred, just poured in, and covered with a white lid, just like always. And I took it up to the counter, and Johnny was working! He wasn't looking at me at first, and I said his name, and he turned around, and his face just softened, and his tone completely changed! He had this huge smile on his face, and we talked about what each of us had been up to lately, and how all of my old neighbors had moved away, and what other Co-op employees were up to, but there were a lot of customers so I couldn't speak to him as much as I wanted to. Then I went to pay, and he waved me off, saying that it was on him, just like old times, and I nearly died with happiness!
So I took my coffee, and jaywalked across Labieux, right at the tricky spot, just because I knew how to do it without getting beaned by a car, and walked back to the Bailey Theatre. It was astonishing. I had my exact old coffee, and life smelled just like my childhood (OMG! Gator! I just realized! I understand what you meant now! *joy!*). I almost cried. As it was, I was so crazy I was talking to myself. Mostly relating things that I remembered about everything I passed.
Anyways, that's why I am a goob. I am sorry I made you sit through that speil about my childhood, I am sure that it was not entirely fun for you. But that was what my today was like, and maybe now you all have a little better idea of the times that made me who I am today. (oh, am a corndog! forgive me!)
Saturday, November 06, 2004
i feel pretty, oh so pretty...I feel pretty and witty and GAY!
actually, I feel a little funny. because I have been in Laura's house about an hour now awaiting her's and Brianna's return from Tim-Tim's. I have read some blogs, and checked my emil. And read some "Little Book of Insults," and now I am thoroghly tired of these activities. I wish to see my girls. We have much to discuss.
k, I'm bored now. I think I may go upstairs and cook some Thai Kitchen. mmmm....Thai Kitchen. *ZOOM!*
k, I'm bored now. I think I may go upstairs and cook some Thai Kitchen. mmmm....Thai Kitchen. *ZOOM!*
so I didn't post at all yesterday...how disturbing!
Amay is definitely taking my place as Postorb-times-greatness. Not too much has been happening. Sean and I FINALLY went to go see Ladder 49 tonight! I cried. big surprise, I'm such a weepy, hormonal girl. it's kind of sad! In other news, I seem to have been added to Messenger by like four people in the past two days! How cool is that? very cool I say. I seem to be shunning paragraphs in this post. I hope you don't mind. Because I am feeling just bull-headed enough not to care. I cut and dyed my hair yesterday! Now it is shoulder-length and a reddy-blond color. Much darker than my old crazy-blond super-Pinto roots hair color scheme thing... (I'll stop now!) I am reading "In Flanders Fields" for the Remembrance Assembly next Wednesday. I wonder if Collective has nerd-ized Sean enough that he'll want to go? btw, me and him had such an awesome time tonight. Well, we have fantastic tiems together everytime we see each other, but tonight was worth mentioning. We laughed, and joked, and enjoyed each others company times a TRAZILLION, and it made me super-happy! Watching Ladder 49, with all the nostalgic family scenes, and the fact that we've been looking at furniture lately (I dunno why, but we have been. :S) makes me feel so domestic, and settled! I love that, but it also worries me on a small paranoid schizoid level (did I spell that right? I think not). I am having huge urges to settle down lately. I wanna be an adult. And I wanna be independent. And I wanna be a wife. I don't think it's gonna take long before I'm going to wanna be a mom. All you guys are gonna think me stupid for saying this, but if all that happened with Sean, I would be one satisfied Pinto, I tell you! I love him so much! I could spend my life with him.
k, I think I'm done now. Actually, I'm not, but I do feel the need for a second paragraph. Your overloaded eyes probably thank me for it, don't they? In other news, my family apparently doesn't consdier me important enough to cook for anymore. I got home this evening to find the bones, and sorry remnants of a glorious chicken dinner strewn about the kitchen, and do you think I found any for me? Not a single drumstick. The kids had eaten it ALL. Now between two women, and four tiny children, do you think it's possible to eat a full family pack of chicken? honestly, you'd think somebody would say something abotut the fact that, "oh yeah we have another family member...maybe we should keep her alive. yeah, that might be a good idea."
I feel resentment. I had to cook myself perogies. In the microwave. They were truly ucky. I hope you all feel for me, because since it's looking like I'm never eating again, any number of you may be called upon to feed me in the near/not-so-near future. Be warned.
I am being melodramatic. And I don't care. goodnight.
PS: LAURA FINALLY BLOGGED! I am so proud of her. She decided to just get a new password! I can finally take her off the "shun" list on my linkies! woo-freaking-hoo!
k, I think I'm done now. Actually, I'm not, but I do feel the need for a second paragraph. Your overloaded eyes probably thank me for it, don't they? In other news, my family apparently doesn't consdier me important enough to cook for anymore. I got home this evening to find the bones, and sorry remnants of a glorious chicken dinner strewn about the kitchen, and do you think I found any for me? Not a single drumstick. The kids had eaten it ALL. Now between two women, and four tiny children, do you think it's possible to eat a full family pack of chicken? honestly, you'd think somebody would say something abotut the fact that, "oh yeah we have another family member...maybe we should keep her alive. yeah, that might be a good idea."
I feel resentment. I had to cook myself perogies. In the microwave. They were truly ucky. I hope you all feel for me, because since it's looking like I'm never eating again, any number of you may be called upon to feed me in the near/not-so-near future. Be warned.
I am being melodramatic. And I don't care. goodnight.
PS: LAURA FINALLY BLOGGED! I am so proud of her. She decided to just get a new password! I can finally take her off the "shun" list on my linkies! woo-freaking-hoo!
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
morning voice...blech!
oh my god. Why did we ever agree to do this? Collective minus Brianna (due to illness) have a performance at seven thirty this very morning, and I am so gross, it is not even funny. I've just been warming up, and I sound like a damn foghorn on scales! How the freaking hell am I going to pull off What a Wonderful World??? Whatever, Rotary is stupid anyways. They're paying the choir fivehundred dollars for doing the shittiest performance of our entire life from way back two years ago. My grade ten year. Seriously, I had a solo, and I goddamn forgot the melody. And they're paying us five hundred dollars. So if they are retarded enough to do that, then they are silly enough to enjoy me and Laura bleating like seasick goats at them at seven thirty in the morning.
So the plan is this morning is that sometime in the next five minutes, Devin is going to come pick me up, and take me up to the Swiss Chalet where the Rotary Club will feed me a free breakfast, then listen to me and Gator sing a song that we arranged, and learned LAST NIGHT. Then they are going to present Mrs. Sinclair, and the representatives of Wellington Choir (me, Laura, and Devin) with a big ole check for five hundred dollars, and we will all get our picture in the paper. Woo-hoo.
I want to go back to bed.
So the plan is this morning is that sometime in the next five minutes, Devin is going to come pick me up, and take me up to the Swiss Chalet where the Rotary Club will feed me a free breakfast, then listen to me and Gator sing a song that we arranged, and learned LAST NIGHT. Then they are going to present Mrs. Sinclair, and the representatives of Wellington Choir (me, Laura, and Devin) with a big ole check for five hundred dollars, and we will all get our picture in the paper. Woo-hoo.
I want to go back to bed.
Monday, November 01, 2004
hmmm, I wonder if this'll post.
I don't have much to say today. woke up quite late, I couldn't tell what time i was, because it was so dark where I was sleeping. I thought it was like six or seven, but actually it was eight, or nine.
I am wearing Sean's shirt. that gives me ENORMOUS amounts of amusement. and his socks, too, actually. oh, crap, that reminds me, I have laundry to do. crapdammit, fuckshitters. actually, I take that back. the actual problem is not meritous of that amount of profanity. though I refuse to backspace it. so there.
my poor boy! he is so sad about living in his new house! I feel bad about it, because he is just not happy at all. I guess it is really unpleasant going from a nice, ordered house, to a chaotic, just moved-in living space. And it is very different from the way he used to live. His room is ridiculously tiny compared to his old room. There's not enough space for ME to feel comfortable even, and I am a smurf. I feel sorry for my hulk of a boyfriend shut up in that tiny place. Also, he has no piano to play, and no Alleah on the same bus route. sad sad sad serseph. I want to do something really nice for him, but I am not sure exactly what. After all, he was crazy sweet to me today, so he deserves something special. Updates on that project are forthcoming...
So I have nothing else to say. This better post, or I am going to go mental. I am sick of my stupid computer acting like the retarded peice of tin foil and spark plugs that it is. talk to y'all laterz.
I am wearing Sean's shirt. that gives me ENORMOUS amounts of amusement. and his socks, too, actually. oh, crap, that reminds me, I have laundry to do. crapdammit, fuckshitters. actually, I take that back. the actual problem is not meritous of that amount of profanity. though I refuse to backspace it. so there.
my poor boy! he is so sad about living in his new house! I feel bad about it, because he is just not happy at all. I guess it is really unpleasant going from a nice, ordered house, to a chaotic, just moved-in living space. And it is very different from the way he used to live. His room is ridiculously tiny compared to his old room. There's not enough space for ME to feel comfortable even, and I am a smurf. I feel sorry for my hulk of a boyfriend shut up in that tiny place. Also, he has no piano to play, and no Alleah on the same bus route. sad sad sad serseph. I want to do something really nice for him, but I am not sure exactly what. After all, he was crazy sweet to me today, so he deserves something special. Updates on that project are forthcoming...
So I have nothing else to say. This better post, or I am going to go mental. I am sick of my stupid computer acting like the retarded peice of tin foil and spark plugs that it is. talk to y'all laterz.
*snicker wink SEIZE!*
so last night was pretty awesome. Sean and I were hours and hours late for Amanda's Halloween p-tay, because his Mom wanted to take us to a Halloween get-together with her sister Melida, and sister-in-law Penny up in the north end of town. I met about twelve people who are like Sean's cousins, and second cousin, and aunts and uncles. Then we went to Amanda's and got lost-ish looking for the house. Retard Devin and his incorrect directions...Amanda yelled at me the minute I walked in the door. Still feeling the remnants of hangover badness, I just bitched right back at her, and told her that if she yelled at me I was going home. So, having reached an accord, we went upstairs, and watched Napolean Dynamite. Or at least the last half of it. It was hysterical! I really want to watch the whole thing from start to finish with no one around so that I can see the whole thing.
After that, Devin gave me MY copy of The Mantta DVD, and I was thrilled!!! We ended up watching it, with Amanda's Mom, and I was very very proud of my boy, and my Devin. Sean was kind of sick of it, but that's his own fault for watching it a hundred and eight times when he first got it! so there.
Around eleven, everybody left (everybody being Chris Ruiz, and April Wreggit) Devin and Sean and I went to Devin's gramma's place, and we set off fireworks. There was one that was totally faulty, and fell over, and shot flares in all directions. It was scaray. So we set off a bunch of fireworks, and Sean and I ate candy from hs grandparents house. mmm, chiclets.
Then I "went home." Nobody gets to know what I mean by that. hmmm...the only other bit of information I have is, that Mel, Barbara, Gareth, and Tim: we have gained another. If you don't know what I mean by that, well you're gonna have to spend some time with me, aren't you? BURN!
k, bye. I'm wearing Sean's shirt that he gave to me. *snicker*
After that, Devin gave me MY copy of The Mantta DVD, and I was thrilled!!! We ended up watching it, with Amanda's Mom, and I was very very proud of my boy, and my Devin. Sean was kind of sick of it, but that's his own fault for watching it a hundred and eight times when he first got it! so there.
Around eleven, everybody left (everybody being Chris Ruiz, and April Wreggit) Devin and Sean and I went to Devin's gramma's place, and we set off fireworks. There was one that was totally faulty, and fell over, and shot flares in all directions. It was scaray. So we set off a bunch of fireworks, and Sean and I ate candy from hs grandparents house. mmm, chiclets.
Then I "went home." Nobody gets to know what I mean by that. hmmm...the only other bit of information I have is, that Mel, Barbara, Gareth, and Tim: we have gained another. If you don't know what I mean by that, well you're gonna have to spend some time with me, aren't you? BURN!
k, bye. I'm wearing Sean's shirt that he gave to me. *snicker*
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