I'm gonna bend you over and make you see rainbows!

Ok, I have to pontificate, for the benefit of certain Libratorbs, about the rules inherent with fucking around with theatres. Yes. There are rules.

You see, when a normal first attends a theatre party, most likely they will be surprised at the apparent amount of promiscuity that we indulge in. But, woe on the poor uncool sap who thinks that that means we are easy lays. Because with certain exceptions, we aren't. We have rules, and they are understood by all, and shall be learned by those who want to tap that. Rule number one, there is such a thing as party monogamy. Seems silly, but once you dick around with somebody at a party, there can be NO ONE ELSE. They are yours for the night, and that's all there is to it. Even if you never see them again after that night, it is still acceptAble, as long as the rule of party monogamy is observed. You start fucking around, they're your party spouse, and that's that. Rule number two: gossip is bad, but unless you intend to be a bad friend, pay attention to what your friends do at parties. This also happens to be part of the Girls' Code, so the fact that I have to repeat it is just sad. (Barbara, this isn't aimed at you, I *heart* you) It's like stealing a bag of oranges from somebody's grocery cart. Or being adulterous with a party spouse. youhave to ask yourself, "who is this person affiliated with? have I already seen them going at it with somebody else?" and never ever EVER, under absolutely NO circumstances is one friend allowed to tap that which has already been tapped by another.

Now I feel impelled to point out (ha! impelled by Laura) that all of this pertains to Second base and beyond. What makes a theatre party a theatre party, as opposed to a particularly slutty normal party, is the fact that we allow our people to make out with as many of each other as they wish. But the minute the bikini rule is broken, party monogamy is in effect, bitch. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, touching above clothes is classified as second base.

This is kind of like rule number oneA: don't fucking hit on everyone, you big sluts out there. Theatre people are randy, we are not loose. Or at least we shouldn't be. Ok, as much as theatres adore their sexual intercourse, we understand that emotion is involved. And nobody wants to feel like a peice of meat. We at least, if nothing else, want to know that you want us for our particular awesemity, NOT because we are the first person, or drunkest person you see. Nobody will will tap that for you, if you just macked on the BFF. (I am the grandest of grand; sorry, had to insert that in there.)

Certain Collective feels the need to add to the list not having sex while the BFF is asleep beside you on the bed. But she has been overruled two to one, so we are going to ignore her.




Collectively Written,
Yours Collectively


The Collective