it's motherfuckin BOOZE time!

or futher-mockin, as the case may be. so, I toyed with entitling this post, Pit of Despair, because that happens to be where Homie P is chillin' right now, butI figured it would kind of be weird to be surfin, and find a page with the phrases Fun With Pinto, and Pit of Despair in quick succession.

Last night was the bonfire party of TERRIBLE DOOM. And I mean that in the most sincere way possible. I bought a mickey of Fireball which turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. Even sharing it with Ace, I somehow managed to down nine or ten (can't remember which) shots, two girly drinks, and a mixer and got more hamm3red than I've ever been. Like think crawling around on the ground wasted, with titties popping out and everything. The party itself was freakin awse, though. It was raining when everybody showed up, so we partied in the house for a bit, and cooked marshmallows on the stovetop. SalmonMan Rick made fondue (can't remember who hecame with, but I just met him last night) for me, and Brianna seriously beat the shit out of me for the entire first part of the night! First I flashed my elbows at her (she has this pycho hatred of elbows), and the punched me in the stomach so hard I fell on SaLMONmAN Rick, and couldn't breathe for a while. Then later, I was trying to switch the song on the CD player AWAY from Grease, and she wanted to switch it BACK to Grease, and finally she took me, and just chucked me against the wall, as hard as she could! I kind of ricoche-d, and somehow managed to save myself from falling on the floor, after tripping on shoes, and whatnot in the doorway! lol!

Finally the rain stopped and Quinn got the fire going! They all cooked weinies, and marshmallows, while me and Geoff and Cora went to go pick up Llowyn. So, I was wasted by then, had had two girly drinks and four shots. Spent sometime being obnoxious on the phone, which was sweet. So I totally kept injuring myself h-core the whole night! I am so COVERED in bruises. I fell down the stairs like seriously three or four times, and gouged two of my fingertips horriby on my ghetto-ass railing. They hurt superbad right now, cause I'm typing! I tripped in the driveway, and road-burned my hand pretty badly. I somehow managed NOT to fall in the fire, though I did break a chair that was right there by falling on it. This morning, when I was still drunk, I was jumping on Aden, and went to step off the bed, but I landed on his shoes (fucker) and I was still wearing heels, and my ankle twisted, and I fell right on my face/knee, and now my ankle and knee hurt like a bitch whenever I go down stairs! I am so fucked this morning.

Later in the night after the Fireball was gone and I was super super shitfaced, I started hanging out in the bathtub. Now I only have one bathroom in my house, so that kind of sucked for everyone else. I was in there at first, and Ace who was almost passing out came in to throw up. We started co-throwing up in the toilet, which was funny, and yet revolting. Then I went somewhere else, and came back, and fell into the tub, and took Jordan (I'm so sorry) with me. So we were chillaxin in the tub, and Brianna (who is also drunk by now after swearing to just hang out and watch everybody else get drunk;go fig!) comes in, and has to pee! So she's bitching away, and finally I just shut the shower curtain, and she's just drunk enough to pee! So now there's a post-it on my door that says PEE ANYWAYS! I'm leaving it up forever. Then like ten minutes later, Curtney comes in, and vetoes that ass, and I swear, if Jordan hadn't been there I would have passed out in the tub! There was no way I could have gotten myself outta there!

Anyways, long story short the party was really great. The badness starts when I went to bed. They kept trying to put me to bed, so that I wouldn't drink anymore, and I kept hassling them, by running away, and making them catch me! It was really great fun in my drunken stupor! Anyways, finally I decided on my on that I needed to crash. This was prolly about one thirty (*blush*). So Jordan tucks me in (sweetheart). Ace crashed a long time ago and has taken over my bed. Me being me, I don't give a crap who's IN my bed, it's my bed, and I'm going to sleep in it wether they like it or not! So I just tell Ace to move the fuck over and I go to bed. Cue badness.

I don't wanna talk about it, so Brianna is going to type this section.

So basically what went down was, its around five in the morning and a very drunk Alleah ( and Im talking smashed beyon recognition) and what im hoping was a very drunk Ace, ended up together in a bed. And you know how it is kids, one thing leads to another,and sooner or later....

So anyways, round sixish Alleah was getting up to see Llowyn off to the ferry (except he wasnt there) and said a good morning toJordan... who then ( oh it hurts to type) hit her away and said, I HEARD you! So.... generally not a good situation. Awkwardness abounds. Needless to say, no more Jordan and Alleah relationship. Poor poor Alleah is taking it all on her shoulders though, and while she WAS a terrible girlfriend :P does not need to be entirely to blameme. (Alleah: I'm leving this be! but it's supposed to be "blamed") And ALLEAH DONT BLAME YOURSELF FOR ANY PROBLEMS IN ACE AND MICHELLES RELATIONSHIP EITHER!!!

okay, im done here

Alleah: so that sucked. is still sucking. I have never done somethingI regretted so much. I can no long say I am a regretless Pinto, and I am so ashamed of that fact. Words seriously cannot describe how unbelievably ashamed and sorry I am. I seriously just lost three valued relationships in one fell swoop. All I can say to all three of you, is I am so sorry.

(I swear shall murder my neices and nephews! I hope they enjoyed their young lives, because they just stuck something in the microwave and set it on fire, and retribution shall be swift and merciless!)

So I called Ace after Jordan and I took a car ride and broke up extremely painfully, and him and Michelle are still together. So (surprise surprise), as if my life doesn't suck enough I have to shoulder the shame of this burden all by my little self. I've never hated myself more than right now. I had to get off the phone because I was crying so hard, and I spent an hour in my bedroom, with Brianna and Courtney talking about how I'm going to try to pick up the peices of my life.

I guess ths sounds kind of melodramatic considering all the actually bad stuff I've survived, but it IS actually the worst thing that's ever happened to me/I've ever done. I HATE hurting people, and I just hurt two of the people I care about the most, plus doing collateral damage on somebody I respect, like, and admire. That is so much worse than anything that could ever happen ever. My friends and boyfriend are the people I value the most in the world, and the fact that I did something that horrendous to them is s something I'll never forgive myself for.

So what me and Brianna and Courtney decided is that I need to be single for a really long time. I need to relearn how to be Alleah, not Alleah-and-so-and-so, the way I've been for the past three years. I've decided to really jump into my career. I don't know why I'm still at Mal, because it's not the place a serious actor really needs to be, so I'm going to look into transfer programs. Maybe to UBC, or Capilano, or UVic. I need to get out fo Nanaimo, and away from who I used to be, and I need to start getting serious about my career. I need an agent. I need to know about auditions and go to them. I need to stop smoking, and get a super-fab bod. (yes I did really just say that!) So instead of being in love with a boy, I'm going to focus on becoming the kind of person that boys will be in love with. And STAY in love with.

That is my goal for the next year. I am so sorry to all the people I've fucked over the years. If it makes you feel any better, karma's a bitch, and I'm now lying in the pit I dug for myself.