O. M. G.

ok, sometimes I like to reread way old posts of mine to see how ridiculously different I am now. So I was just doing that (specifically trying to find the exact amount of time I went without sex the longest; I know I blogged about it. I blog about everything), and I came upon the funniest thing I think I have ever ever seen! A post that I wrote when I was baked out of my mind! This was from two summers ago. Remember my weekend of badness, with Foo Dobson, Brianna, and Laura, and Kevin? Well, the first night, I shared a 2-6 of gin with Foo, and got high with him and his friend Rod, and ended up making out with Foo (embarrassing). The second night, I was at Kevin's, and Paddy Barry gave me a ride home, but not before stopping at his place to smoke a few bowls of weed. This post is from that night. (I can't remember exactly when but a little while after this weekend I had my very first fling ever, with Pumpkin Face!) It has been edited with expalanations of what I think I must have meant in green.


gotta finish this post before this stuff wears off

I regret to inform you, that I am currently stoned. Silly Kevin and Foo, you should have known better than to send me off with Paddy! and his ohh-so-West Coast, pot-smoking ways... (take that, Mr. Lt. David of the I don't know where British Columbia is kind Chin!) this is a guy I met in Virginia at my big bro's wedding. he didn't know where BC was. Silly Americans. second time in two days. I'm a pathetic human being with no will power, and a desire to get away from my horrid expectations of myself. *But is weed the answer children? survey says: yes.* I take no responsibility for this post, I thought it was funny when I wrote it. I want all who read this blog to be happy and laughing while they read my blog so that they like, it and keep coming back for more. (wow that sentence got forgotten, and it took me like a full minute to retrieve it from the depths of my brain; it's kind of liking losing luggage to the airports (Nazis), and then having to wait a year or more, and give up on it, and then get it mailed to you, after you've bought your men's shaving cream, and Braun face razor, and new pairs of jocky shorts, which is the same amount of annoyance on the annoyance scale.) (wow, that mosquito was enormous! made it easy to swat, though. Their getting ginormous in Canada! (*putting on astonished rancher-girl voice*) quick Cletis, get the gun, the parasitic aliens have already taken the mosquitos, and are ready to start their transfer to the human race through the cardio vascular system!) (that was a muscle, not a system) (yikes, that entire previous paragraph was read in my mind in a horrified Aunt-May-from-Spiderman-but thirty-five years earlier, offended voice) look at all the parentheses! lol! All this stuff is nothing but excerpts from all the thoughts I'm making, except for the editorial, boring ones (you know like that's missing a pee, (P) that's supposed to have a cue, (Q) this is a better word. (shiz-nitch) you don't need to knw about that.) However, obviously I am babbling, and as such a babbler, I am physically obligated (by my sever lack of control, or judgment systems as made inebriated by the substance I have been smoking) to tell anyone anything about me...like Paddy asked if I was good at blow jobs (though in not so many words), and I was like fuck you (i don't think I said that, but I was sober enough then (a little) to be able to kind of mutter it away). but that's a rare case, usually, I'm like, I blab all. stupid pot. Every few seconds, I just keep going off on tangents then losing my thought train (plenty good room on the glory train, there's a ...) (choir song; talk of trains made me start singing it aloud, and then type it down) and it's frusterating. hmmm. deep breaths. I wonder if the neighbors next door can tap into my computer screen using secret government hack softwear for spying? that would suck, cause they might be able to pull up my recieved files folder or something and--ooh--know what I've been talking about. tricksy hobbits. you think ghosts or spirits can move the physical elemental molocules around in a way similar to the god-like capacity to create to create something like a birth of a monster? what if he (the ghost in question) hated pot smokers, and burned 'em all up with his super-mollecular powers cause he was a ghost and could? he'd be so antisocial! (that cracked me up!) (cracked me up hardcore! both then in my inebriated state, and now!)I hope you all laugh when you read this. cause maybe if you're laughing and having fun you won't be so condemning of me having the same fun you are having. That = no getting hurt. I miss my Capricorn bracelet. wait, that was a necklace. w/e. he (Geoff) hates me, I suppose I hate him now. Although I would hate to have to hate the memories. There'r some good ones. I wonder how embarrassed I'm going to betomorroow? cause this is pretty uncensored, basically all that's going into my head is poo-fing right out of my mouth and onto paper. (but I'm not talking! ooh! talented!) does that make me honest or does that make me cheap? you tell me. cause then I won't have to be the one who has to intuit what every one has said for everyone else. (yeah...I don't even know what I meant by that...)I'm making some major psychological breakthroughs here in my head, but everytime I formulate my plan to put it down on paper, it eludes me! Like for instance: what was I just thinking about? something about me--NO! me getting psychologically less--dependent? no. guilty? no...what was that? nope, can't remember by rereading the text. if I were speaking I would probably be slurring. The problem is I keep making thoughts to fast for fingers to write, then I lose them cause I'm onto another thought, and my hands are screaming "mayday, mayday, we have to make sure all this info is getting out to all your readers out there in blogland! they need to know! (Brianna-like wail) They need to KNOOOOOWWWW!" (this must be said in a Charleton Heston-like manner--because I say so) their the captains of the ship, and they're going dooooooo oooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooown... I hope you appreciate the effort, cause my BACK is achin! *limps off to Electric Lettuce* what's that? electric lettuce you say? why there? because that's where I should go cause I SMOKE POT! AND IT'S A FRIENDLY ENVIROMENT! I love stoners. It's like a jail for stoners, albeit an amusing one. --**referring to the previous topic** back is on fire. Sherayna is gone to bed. ok, wtf? what is she planning? shit, I'm going to die in my bed tonight. I should go to bed, but I DON'T wanna. I can't wait to have comments. Though everyone is going to be disappointed in me. Jeepers. What do I have, a posse ful of parents? shitty end of the stick here, who's taking? (I can't believe I laughed at that--even stoned, that's pathetic) my laughs smell like pot. I'm such a pot head. Foo might not think so, but he knows I haven't done pot much. Shit man, I need AA. and the one for marijuana. I thought I heard the sound of a police radio announcer talking on my way home w/ Paddy, but really it was his car stereo. it freaked me out. I thought I was psychic, and there were cops on our tail cause we were fucking stoners. But it wqas just my influenced influenced imagination, which could be a message from my subconcious about the psychological breakthroughs (hey! this is what I was thinking earlier!) I'm having in my high. My psychological breakthroughs are that-fuckk where'd it go. I was trying to retrieve that thought for a full ahlf an hour! I'm a fucking blond dog! (I'm referring to Golden labrador retrievers here; obscure reference, I know) --my psychological breakthroughs are: that I am...wait, it's coming...(hey it's like an orgasm, but wait if that's true, then it means the thought will never come, because I never...you get the idea) (I hoope Laura laughs at this)...ok. that I am...stoned for sure (that's sounds so badly simpleton). there are more things that I am that aren't positive...something that is related to: SHIT! I totally had it, too! fucking thoughts. paranoid!!! for one thing! that was part of it, I am paranoid. For what? well cause I'm ego centric for one thing, but that wasn't the important thing....what was te important thing (you know if I do this much soul-searchin while I'm supposed to be out getting stoned (read: having illegal illegal fun with drugs and alchohol) (hey, I just ried to spell stoned and got the middle three letters wrong!) fuck, another one got forgotten. and I really wanted to tell you that one too, cause it was cool, you would ahve liked it--OH YEAH! fuck it's gone again. OH YEAH! that I...should live along(I think I may have meant 'alone' by 'along'), I think? no, no it was something else related to you guys enjoying my blog or soemthing. not too sure, wow am I needy, it had something to do with that do, wow this sentence is turning into a big old witches brew for concepts. I'm probably lying about a few of these things to you cause I'm stoned. I am going to PASS OUT at this computer, I'm so fucked u[p. OH YEAH! cause it's good to have you guys, (read: my blog of lonliness) so that I can have a private place to make me feel like I'm safe and that nobody is reading this, but am really not so I can express my self, and only feel a little mortified about it that usual. I don't like telling epopelt (people) hingsa (things) bout (about) me cause I'm...paranoid. and stoned... I keep thinkiing my desk is wider than it--oh yeahh! SHIT! gone again--OH YEAH! FUCK IT KEEPS GETTING LOST INT THE AMOUNT OF TIME IT TAKES TO TYPE OH YEAH! SOMETHING...ME WHINING AND YOU NOT CARE? NO..UM...YOU NOT REAL?(L. O. Fucking L.!!!) MAYBE THAT WAS IT. THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR! fuckin caps lock. owie back... \sooooooooo random, radnom blog of random blogness. random random random, Angie, should likeit she's always saying how she likes random stuff. But she probably disapproves, cause everybody disapproves but Foo and Paddy. Even "Rod" disapproved I think cause it was me, and maybe he's heard something from asshole Chris Read. asshole asshole. wish I had Laura and Gareth here to carry me around like the cast party (cast party of mime and commedia dell'arte; my second time getting drunk ever, and Gator, and Ty had to carry me around--hey Laura! "Gravity goes that way!" lol!!!) . even though I know it was Ty carrying me around then. but right now I want Gareth. and Laura. they're going to disapprove... i like this post...it's even more honest that I usually am, and I'm sure some of you would like that...and some of you will hate me. I really hope the religious ones don't start to hate me. cause I'm just mistaking by sinning, both are fixeable. An anyway, no babies yet, (and I digress into the realm of pregnancy; *shrugs*) and no unprotected sex =ing STD yucky yucky herpes. play the D note, Giles. her-pes her-pes her-res her-pes her-pes. (this was something me and Collective used to do when we learned songs, just cause it was childishly amusing; sing 'herpes' over and over on a D above middle C) I really hope Laura laughs at this stuff, cause she's the only what about whom I'm positive that they'll laugh when they read this and not be angry. My foot is cold. Still taste like pot. or maybe that coldness is a bite from a parasitic alien-ridden mosquito, and that's just my DNA breaking down in my foot, and becoming the aliens??? fuck I'm wasted. (I spent quite a bit of time right here just staring at the computer screen, I think...)weaRING OFF NOW. I can hear country music in my head. stuff my grampa listens to. I'm fucking basted. haha! mixed too synonyms with stoned into a new word! I need an urban dictionary. wow I am obnoxiously unsober. thank good ness MoM strong sleeper. wearing off more. slightly more coherent. maybe I've finally gone insane. (I began to sing this song aloud; it's In The Still of the Night, a song from choir) In the still of the night. I held you. Held you tight. Oh I love. Love you so. Promise I'll never let you go. In the still of the night. (and now I randomly meld it into Sincerely, a song I sang with the Collective) ooooh-ooooh-oooooooh, woop woopwwooooo oooh, bee oooh, Sincerely. oh I know how you love me (haha) cause I love you so dearly. oh whoa whoa please say....you'll be mine like a freaky oldies record playing out to the rest of my life. good records that I like. I can hear Sincerely, but as me and Brianna and Laura singing it but recorded in nineteen forty four. I can't fall asleep other wise I'll die./ If I fall asleep, either the al;iens will steal my body and take it over like Prom Night 2, Hello Mary Lou, oooorrr the drugs will cause me to have a heart attack and die, thus fucking shit up. for the past like three hours, my attention has been superglued to this key board, not even to the screen. it's like the keyboard is my life line, my key to all thigs physical and this life, giving me glorious words of creation. (ok, so that was funny) fuckin shitty deal! I have to sign out of Sherayna's msn,a nd then LOG into my own, adn she's already online, and she's an internet slob,(I must say, I quite enjoy the phrase, 'internet slob'; go stoned me!) and it's a big hassle to have to dot hat everytime you change computer users. too much work. I wonder if this post is as long yet as my (Virginia) trip post? can find character counts in fULL pERSONALLITY PROFILE, I BELIEVE. fuck, caps lock rememeber this: http://www.ratemyteachers.ca/ it's a link Amanda sent me and I should look at it, adn she's talking to me. rememeber it. too baked to do it noooooowww. I can't spell. fucking stoned. no longer positive of immentent possession and or takeover. (so paranoid, when baked; *shakes head*)yeah fuck, now I'm afraid that this is being cause d by the aliens. cause that presents an element of the unknown, and ghosts pose more of a similiar, I-can-read-about-your-kind-in-a-textbook-somewherw kinda way, and Aliens are entirely unknown, making them scarier. I wanna post now, buh bye. beebur. brianna. banana. bbebur bananabriannablack. goodnight night.



hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I adore myself sometimes! That was a fun night, and I love that I have this ridiculous post to remind myself of it! I didn't know I could get that introsepctive when I was stoned...? And fuck--LOL!--"[my thought] keeps getting forgotten in the time it takes to type OH YEAH!!!!"--that is SO FREAKIN FUNNY!!! Like I said, sometimes, I really do love myself!







'...but then I started dating Ace'

(lol, jk!)

today...
i wore: khaki jeans, a blue t-shirt, and a blue hoodie. and GRANNY PANTIES! Operation Keep Alleah Celibate, proceeding as planned.
i ate: LOTS of coffee, a glorious hot dog man jumbo smokie, a quiche that Danielle made, and Sidekicks. Very very badly made Sidekicks.
i did: go to school (for once) and watched the opening matinee of Woyzeck. Good job, all! Then had my year-end meeting with the program directors at Mal. They suggested therapy so I can get the fuck over my mummy dying (my words, not their's). I agree. Then some hanging of the out with my bro, and all his friends. I have a feeling one of his newer friends may have a thing for me...weird.
i like: feeling hopeful again
i dislike: notalot. the discouraging empty calendar space of the upcoming summer
brag moment: when the big bro's new friend Ryan totally ignored Quinn, AND Donnie, who he'd ostensibly come to see, just to talk to me about Fords compared to Chevy's!
cringe moment: everything I felt leading up to my interview. I felt for sure that they were going to kick me out for being such a bad student! :(
granola moment: wiping the counter clean of coffee-y muck. I felt like such a housewife, in a partly fascinating, partly icky way.
i plan to: go to bed. REAL soon.