If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.
When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you!
Monday, April 03, 2006
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11 comments:
I remeber sitting on the lawn of the Whitehouse with you, and you turned to me and said - " George don't you think beastiality is a victimless crime, I mean, its much cruler to kill something and eat it than it is to have sex with it" and I said " You're pushing boundaries there Alleah I never want to hear that kind of filth again, lets have another root beer and sasperella - what ever the heck that is".
George W.
remember when we got really drunk and then flew to australia and then lived with the kangaroos and started a revolution and then tried to take over the koala forests.....i still have those scars! thats right i have posted now alleah!
good times, George W! good times...
I remeber the time we made up our own country and called it Jordalleahpalooza we made a flag that was equal parts of each of us, that's right one half was an over-zealous actress, and the other was a know-it-all techie. And then we had sex with all the wrong people and you pulled a Quebec and voted and seperated yourself from me. But you kept my currency, which turned out to be a bad idea because I got sued by Jordan for copyright infringement on my own country name so now everyone wnats to live in Damonpalooza...
Och! Me thinks I recall a time when me beard was short a time of the ancients! We dwarfs were mining in karak Drurnin Zaz. It 'wuz fine Minin'!!
We went in derr and there wuz gold, mithril, adamantine and even Grundi Fungi for distilling Brunir's finest fungi Ale!
Aye they were prosperous times...
but like all good times they'd com to an' end...
Tha dirtay drow attacked the bottom layers firs' I tell ye we musta struck underdark...
Us dwarfs hadda collaps thu shaft as we retreated...
Many a good dwarf fell.. BUT not without takin' at least twice there number on thu retreat! hark!
Thun bellow dah great halls of karak Drurnin Zaz we held our final stance!
That foul day comes back tah me as clearly as a mountain stream...
Me axe tore through many drow but before long even I exhausted and wounded faltered...
And right before a bluddy drow sword took me beard something glinted past me eye and damn near struck me!
Furst I though I was gettin shot in dah back then I noticed a arrow shaft stickin outta the filthy drows eyesocket before he hit the ground!
Fines' shootin' i'd ever seen!
An' when i turned aroun' i saw itwas you, Alleah Quick-Quiver!
Never before was I happay to see a surface elf!
Yah actually came to our distress call and acted on our oathes ancient!
You and your band swept in and shocked the drow with your ferocity!
Ahhh Yes the tide turned, I got up, adjusted me gromnil armour and began afresh!
Me blade clove heaves of drow in twine!
Your arrows flew true and steady and before long it was there leader the drow witch and her lapdog captain!
I drove headlong shoutin' praise to Moradin!
My rune axe's edge sharp it swung down with eagerness for drow flesh...
He was quick and nearly 'ad me But I brought the butt of me trusted axe into his gut and right and reversed my swinging takin' his ugly mug clear of his shoulders!
Aye...I was caught in the battle I forgot the witch but I recalled quickly as I fealt burning in my side! The bitch stabbed me in the back!
But before I blanked i saw you leap in and exchange blows with the black witch before running her through your blade...
When i awoke it was your face i first saw... You saved me with your blasted forest herbs! ( agood mead is all I needed! )
But i thanked ye anyway...
We managed to push the drow back and they've been silent ever since...
And we won't forget your asistance...rarely does a dwarf forget...
[Thorgrim Fellhammer]
I love you more than anything, Rick the SalmonMan!
My favorite memory is that time we decided to build ourselves a rocket ship out of a fridge box, and we spent all day and night in it eating only ritz crackers and juice boxes, determined to make it fly with willpower alone! And then after we fell asleep your brother but us in thte back of your truck and drove to the nearest park, and we thought we actually HAD gone into space!
can we ACTUALLY do that, Brianna?
*puppy dog eyes*
I remember the time that you and I fought over Geoff. I was so jealous that you had slept with him, being my husband and all that I hit you in the stomache repeadedly. We fought and were coverd in blood untill we passed out from sheer exhaustion. Then we made cookies!
yeah Ange! everybody thught we were so rich, cause we had the latest eighties fashion, but really it was the most hideous prom dress on the rack at Value Village for eight bucks! lol!
First of all, let it be said that without you there wouldn't have been a story to tell.
You couldn't catch a break, working non-stop in that restaurant, knee-deep in cigarette butts and filthy tips.
The first gleam in your eye when we came through that door was all I needed to see.
Your manager's head blew full off about four feet from your own. Surprised as ever I'd say.
No sooner had his overzealous carcass hit the floor (such a satisfying thump you'd later told me) had you slightly cocked your head to the side and hinted an undeniably terrifying smirk.
I'd never seen a reaction like that before, and rightly so. Every truck stop waitress so far had turned her back and run. Never made it further than five steps neither. But you.... you were different.
My lady to the left, Jennifer, she nearly popped you right there. But like I said, there was something different about you.
Then, if this morning was mundane, something really crazy happened.
A customer, a fucking American with a big stupid hat, whipped out none other than a desert eagle .44
Surprise.
Jennifer never had a chance. And I wouldn't have either, my shotgun empty from the slug to your boss' face and then the bonus one to his groin I neglected to mention, were it not for you.
I don't know why. I know think you know why. I don't think this whole fucking world knows why. The only clue I can think of is in that look. That dead, bored look in your eyes.
Lickity-split, Jenn's blown full backwards back through the door we'd just marched through, and you, little, innocent, you, grabbed a knife, and cut his throat.
After that there isn't much to say. I grabbed the cash, you grabbed the eagle. I smiled, and you did too. I think I saw a tear. But then, that could have been blood. My blood-covered angel.
It must have been that look in your eyes.
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