So heres how it works: Open your choice of music player [iTunes, Limewire, Kazaa, ect.] and put it on shuffle. Press play. For every question type the song thats on. And when you go to a new question press the next button. No cheating. Ready?GO!
Opening credit: Combat Bay- Metric
Waking up: Uptown Girl - Billy Joel
Average day: Beat It - Micheal Jackson
First Date: Pink - Aerosmith
Falling in love: Motivation - Sum 41 (lol, now what is THAT supposed to mean!)
Fight scene: Magic Carpet Ride - Steppenwolf
Breaking up: Now We Are Free - Enya
Getting back together: Feuer Frei - Rammstein
Secret love: Modern Love - David Bowie
Life's okay: Life - Our Lady Peace (how true)
Mental breakdown: True Blue - Bright Eyes (???)
Driving: Do You Want To - Franz Ferdinand (YES, I wanna drive! lol)
Learning a lesson: Queen Bitch - David Bowie (hahaha...I think it's telling me I AM one)
Deep thought: Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve (again, so true "cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life/ tryin to make ends meet, you're a slave to money then you die/"
Flashback: My Vagina - NOFX (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! that was seriously stuck in my head all morning at work "my vagina has a set of lips/ but I don't get monthly blood drips/")
Partying: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor! - Drowning Pool (once they've passed out, lol)
Happy dance: ok, at first it was Hash Pipe by Weezer, but then my player couldn't play it, so now it's Little Black Backpack by Stroke 9. I think the first one fits better!
Regretting: Thoughts of a Dying Atheist - Muse
Long night alone: No One Knows - Queens of the Stonge Age (aww, I feel sorry for me... :( )
Death scene: It's So Quiet - Bjork (hmmm...)
Belated Media Player/ iTunes survey
ok, I use both, so the first # will be Media Player, and the second will be iTunes
how many songs: 170 / 51
sort by artisit
first artist: Aerosmith / 3 Doors Down
last artist: The Verve / Weezer
sort by song title
first song: Alone in the Universe - David Usher / 99 Red Ballons - Goldfinger
last song: The Zephyr Song - RHCP / Young Americans - David Bowie
Sort by time
Shortest Song: Bam Margera on Helium 0:41 / Cool People Suck - Perfect Chaos 1:10
Longest Song: Glosoli - Sigur Ros 6:16 / Staralfur - Sigur Ros 6:47
Sort by album
First Album: 10 Things I Hate ABout You Soundtrack / 16 Greatest Hits Steppenwolf
Last Album: Young Americans David Bowie / Whatever and Ever Amen Ben Folds
How many songs come up when you search for "sex" - 0 / 1
How many songs come up when you search for "death"? - 3 / 0
How many songs come up when you search for "love"? - 10 / 0
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
2nd Gregless day in a row! w00t!
It was *sigh* sublime.
However, it was a stressful day, as Steve, the general manager who's way more of a hardass than Greg was there today during the morning, and just beofre morning shift ended he was like, "Alleah, you're on drive thru until two." And I was like, WTF??? I've barely learned how the drive thru til works!
But he was all hardassy and, "then you'll learn the hard way" so I bumbled my way through two orders before I got the hang of it.
Then, it got SUPER SUPER busy. Well, for me anyway, and I was panicking and Geoff, who was also on headset had to take over for me...it was nutz.
The thing about fast food as opposed to Concession, that consession rushes get so crazy busy, (up to like two hundred people at least wanting food all at the same time on some nights) that you MUST have two or three, or preferably more tills open. In fast food, there's one, maybe two front counter tills, and drive thru and your biggest rushes (at that particular A&W, anyways) will be around twenty people. So you have point ppl, getting food for you. And for me, that's kind of weird. I;m used to having to get everything for my own customers because every other person working that night had their own till. But there, you're either on a til, or not. And it's weird to me...I never know what's been taken care of, what I still need to worry about. But whatever, it's still my second week. oh...well, actually beginning of my third. but fuck everybody! I think I'll do fine.
Anyways enough shop talk. I'm hungry. I want food. Gotta enjoy it while it lasts before I start The Cleanse!!!
However, it was a stressful day, as Steve, the general manager who's way more of a hardass than Greg was there today during the morning, and just beofre morning shift ended he was like, "Alleah, you're on drive thru until two." And I was like, WTF??? I've barely learned how the drive thru til works!
But he was all hardassy and, "then you'll learn the hard way" so I bumbled my way through two orders before I got the hang of it.
Then, it got SUPER SUPER busy. Well, for me anyway, and I was panicking and Geoff, who was also on headset had to take over for me...it was nutz.
The thing about fast food as opposed to Concession, that consession rushes get so crazy busy, (up to like two hundred people at least wanting food all at the same time on some nights) that you MUST have two or three, or preferably more tills open. In fast food, there's one, maybe two front counter tills, and drive thru and your biggest rushes (at that particular A&W, anyways) will be around twenty people. So you have point ppl, getting food for you. And for me, that's kind of weird. I;m used to having to get everything for my own customers because every other person working that night had their own till. But there, you're either on a til, or not. And it's weird to me...I never know what's been taken care of, what I still need to worry about. But whatever, it's still my second week. oh...well, actually beginning of my third. but fuck everybody! I think I'll do fine.
Anyways enough shop talk. I'm hungry. I want food. Gotta enjoy it while it lasts before I start The Cleanse!!!
"And I listen to that kind of BULLshit...cause it's good"
^^^ Bam Margera on Helium.
I.
Love.
Music.
I love it love it love it! I just downloaded a bunch of tuneage that I used to listen to when I was younger, (bad BAD music, but I still love it so) and then I burnt two CD's, and now I'm moving certain songs from my iTunes to my Media Player, and I've just been listening and listening and listening, and for a while, I was just zoning out and watching my battery and listening to music thinking about how AWESOME it is! I love music! All kinds of music!
Right now I'm listening to the Moffatts. Yeah, I bet you hate them. But the song I'm listening to is super super great. "You're so miserable/and I'm invisible/this love's predictable/and you're so TYPICAL" AWESOME! And I downloaded some new Hanson that just came out, and I love them more than ever. Oh how I adore music.
And, Geoff, shut up! Hanson released their last album (acoustic) on their own independent record label, and are now considered (by the entire known world, not just me, fucker) to be a new INDIE band. So fuck you.
:) *lurves*, Geoff! (lol, I think I can hear you retching as I type!)
But don't despair! My taste isn't ALL in my feet! The CD I just burnt also has some sweet Sum 41, and some Killers, and some Muse, and an awesome song by Turbonegro that Brianna, I think you would actually like. A song by Roger Alan Wade to give it a little depth...well kind of. I put If You're Gonna Be Dumb from the Jackass soundtrack on it! A little Tanric, and Everclear, some Ben Folds, and OF COURSE, a bit of Franz. And to top it all off, O Fortuna at the end! WOO-HOO!
It is of course, aptly titled, my ROCK YOUR FUCKIN SOCKS OFF cd. :)
I LOVE music.
I.
Love.
Music.
I love it love it love it! I just downloaded a bunch of tuneage that I used to listen to when I was younger, (bad BAD music, but I still love it so) and then I burnt two CD's, and now I'm moving certain songs from my iTunes to my Media Player, and I've just been listening and listening and listening, and for a while, I was just zoning out and watching my battery and listening to music thinking about how AWESOME it is! I love music! All kinds of music!
Right now I'm listening to the Moffatts. Yeah, I bet you hate them. But the song I'm listening to is super super great. "You're so miserable/and I'm invisible/this love's predictable/and you're so TYPICAL" AWESOME! And I downloaded some new Hanson that just came out, and I love them more than ever. Oh how I adore music.
And, Geoff, shut up! Hanson released their last album (acoustic) on their own independent record label, and are now considered (by the entire known world, not just me, fucker) to be a new INDIE band. So fuck you.
:) *lurves*, Geoff! (lol, I think I can hear you retching as I type!)
But don't despair! My taste isn't ALL in my feet! The CD I just burnt also has some sweet Sum 41, and some Killers, and some Muse, and an awesome song by Turbonegro that Brianna, I think you would actually like. A song by Roger Alan Wade to give it a little depth...well kind of. I put If You're Gonna Be Dumb from the Jackass soundtrack on it! A little Tanric, and Everclear, some Ben Folds, and OF COURSE, a bit of Franz. And to top it all off, O Fortuna at the end! WOO-HOO!
It is of course, aptly titled, my ROCK YOUR FUCKIN SOCKS OFF cd. :)
I LOVE music.
Monday, May 29, 2006
feeling so much better yesterday and today
I do believe the "boil has been lanced" as mum would have said. Ever since that vent, I've felt so much better. Even work hasn't been nearly as bad (despite Greg the Ass Bastard making me scrub the concrete outside with bleach two days in a row).
Yesterday was actually a lot of fun. I spent like an hour slicing onions in the kitchen, with the cooks, Jack and Jake. It was so funny; a couple of days ago, they asked how told I was, and I told them that I was an offia-midget, adnt ehy've been obsessed over that ever since, lol. Yesterday, they were asking me all sorts of retarded things like, "can you climb walls?" "can you fly?" It was so funny, Jack was like, "can you read minds?" and I was like, "*sigh* ...yes." and he looked at Jake and was like, "we need to start wearing lead helmets." I laughed so hard for like five minutes, it was great! I told them I'd pay them to wear them to work.
Another time, Jack was like, "I'm a little disappointed in you Alleah. Every midget I've ever seen walked like this:" and he waddled over to the back sink. The he was like, "I wanted to bring my parents in to see you waddle" and I was like, "oh, I'll waddle for your parents...five bucks per parental visit" and he was like, "ok" it was so funny. I love my kitchen boys! :)
Greg's still a jerk face, though. I hate how instead of asking me to do something straight out, he'll take me to whatever it is, and waste so much time by going over how dirty he thinks it is, or exactly why we put napkins in the bag before ketchup, or whatever else he feels like saying, before he actually tells me to do anything. He phrases any request in a "look how *random adjective basically referring to undesireable* this is," and expects me to just assume he wants me to do it. He'll actually take me away from other jobs that are more important to have me do these. Yesterday he tried to tell me that scrubbing the concrete was more important than slicing the onions until Jack was finally like, "Greg, there's four orders on the screen. I'm going to need you to do something, or get out of my kitchen." I was like, go Jack! That's the thing about Greg, he's such a dogfucker. (construction term for those who sit around and do nothing while others work; Quinn used to call me a dogfucker all the time) His service times suck; seriously, I've been there a week, and my service times pwn his, and I don't know what the fuck I'm even doing! He'd rather sit around and complain about something that isn't JUST exactly how he wants it, then help when there's orders to be filled. He'll actually complain to me about the way I do something AS I'm doing it, and make me stop and watch exactly how he thinks I'm supposed to do it, when there's customers waiting for their fucking food. He's such a retard, it's unbelievable. Yesterday he started to train me on drive thru, and he was like, "come here." I came there. He's like, "no come here" and points to an exact spot on the counter beside him. I seriously have never wanted to punch someone so hard in my life. I'm working with a giganticly tall, even stupider version of Tinnion again! RAWR. I think what I hate the most is that he's so patronizing, but when it comes right down to it, a girl who's been there a week is a better worker than him.
What. A. Tool.
other than that, though, I'm doing much better. I had coffee with Courtney this morning and we just talked and talked and talked. About Quinn, about the wedding and her moving in, about April and Lily, and her nephew Jace, about Mom. She read me a poem she wrote for Mom and I read her my huge vent. We both had a good cry. It was really nice.
Even Dream a Little Dream of Me is coming along. We've learnt the whole thing, it just needs refining and dynamics. I have to say, I'm frustrated with the pacing, though. We change time on our own like three times throughout, and I actually like it, except for our hesitant pauses just before we change time. I tried fixing it yesterday during rehearsal, but I still didnt like it. That's probably the thing that I'm going to hate about this song, because I doubt we'll ever get it the way I'll feel good about it. And if we do, it'll be with a lot more practice than what we have available before the show next week. Oh well...the song on the whole is sounding great. I'm missing singing the way we used to. The Collective hasn't done anything for so long, I miss it a lot. But this August, Sharon's new choir will start and I'll have my fix of harmonic goodness, woo! Y'all better come to our shows, and see how awesome we are! That's one great thing about starting a new choir. Collective will get a ton of chances for individual sets, because Sharon loves us and will want us to sing our own stuff at every opportunity, lol! And knowing Sharon, we'll have the opportunity for accompaniment a LOT more, which will make my year! A couple of weeks ago, I had a minor tussle with Collective because Geoff and I wanted to start doing more things with accompaniment (cause it would feel more professional) and Laura and Brianna wanted to stay a cappella. There's room for compromise there, I think. I adore a cappella stuff, and there will always be purely a cappella arrangements to do, but I do feel as often as possible we should sing with accompaniment. I mean, you guys know me...if it isn't good enough to get paid for, I don't wanna do it at all, lol!
I'm hoping with more shows, and more opportunity for PAYING shows under my belt, I'll have enough extra dollars to get myself some singing lessons. If I start studying under Sharon, then she'll want me to sing at the choir shows, and that's just more opportunity to get my own name well known in Nanaimo, right?
Life is going pretty darn good right now, I think. Singing onstage, despite my not being as good at it as acting, has always made me happier than anything, so I think I should make that a necessary thing. I love performance!
Wednesday, June 7th, Wellington Choir Year End Performance, feat. The Collective! Be there,
or be square! By donation.
Yesterday was actually a lot of fun. I spent like an hour slicing onions in the kitchen, with the cooks, Jack and Jake. It was so funny; a couple of days ago, they asked how told I was, and I told them that I was an offia-midget, adnt ehy've been obsessed over that ever since, lol. Yesterday, they were asking me all sorts of retarded things like, "can you climb walls?" "can you fly?" It was so funny, Jack was like, "can you read minds?" and I was like, "*sigh* ...yes." and he looked at Jake and was like, "we need to start wearing lead helmets." I laughed so hard for like five minutes, it was great! I told them I'd pay them to wear them to work.
Another time, Jack was like, "I'm a little disappointed in you Alleah. Every midget I've ever seen walked like this:" and he waddled over to the back sink. The he was like, "I wanted to bring my parents in to see you waddle" and I was like, "oh, I'll waddle for your parents...five bucks per parental visit" and he was like, "ok" it was so funny. I love my kitchen boys! :)
Greg's still a jerk face, though. I hate how instead of asking me to do something straight out, he'll take me to whatever it is, and waste so much time by going over how dirty he thinks it is, or exactly why we put napkins in the bag before ketchup, or whatever else he feels like saying, before he actually tells me to do anything. He phrases any request in a "look how *random adjective basically referring to undesireable* this is," and expects me to just assume he wants me to do it. He'll actually take me away from other jobs that are more important to have me do these. Yesterday he tried to tell me that scrubbing the concrete was more important than slicing the onions until Jack was finally like, "Greg, there's four orders on the screen. I'm going to need you to do something, or get out of my kitchen." I was like, go Jack! That's the thing about Greg, he's such a dogfucker. (construction term for those who sit around and do nothing while others work; Quinn used to call me a dogfucker all the time) His service times suck; seriously, I've been there a week, and my service times pwn his, and I don't know what the fuck I'm even doing! He'd rather sit around and complain about something that isn't JUST exactly how he wants it, then help when there's orders to be filled. He'll actually complain to me about the way I do something AS I'm doing it, and make me stop and watch exactly how he thinks I'm supposed to do it, when there's customers waiting for their fucking food. He's such a retard, it's unbelievable. Yesterday he started to train me on drive thru, and he was like, "come here." I came there. He's like, "no come here" and points to an exact spot on the counter beside him. I seriously have never wanted to punch someone so hard in my life. I'm working with a giganticly tall, even stupider version of Tinnion again! RAWR. I think what I hate the most is that he's so patronizing, but when it comes right down to it, a girl who's been there a week is a better worker than him.
What. A. Tool.
other than that, though, I'm doing much better. I had coffee with Courtney this morning and we just talked and talked and talked. About Quinn, about the wedding and her moving in, about April and Lily, and her nephew Jace, about Mom. She read me a poem she wrote for Mom and I read her my huge vent. We both had a good cry. It was really nice.
Even Dream a Little Dream of Me is coming along. We've learnt the whole thing, it just needs refining and dynamics. I have to say, I'm frustrated with the pacing, though. We change time on our own like three times throughout, and I actually like it, except for our hesitant pauses just before we change time. I tried fixing it yesterday during rehearsal, but I still didnt like it. That's probably the thing that I'm going to hate about this song, because I doubt we'll ever get it the way I'll feel good about it. And if we do, it'll be with a lot more practice than what we have available before the show next week. Oh well...the song on the whole is sounding great. I'm missing singing the way we used to. The Collective hasn't done anything for so long, I miss it a lot. But this August, Sharon's new choir will start and I'll have my fix of harmonic goodness, woo! Y'all better come to our shows, and see how awesome we are! That's one great thing about starting a new choir. Collective will get a ton of chances for individual sets, because Sharon loves us and will want us to sing our own stuff at every opportunity, lol! And knowing Sharon, we'll have the opportunity for accompaniment a LOT more, which will make my year! A couple of weeks ago, I had a minor tussle with Collective because Geoff and I wanted to start doing more things with accompaniment (cause it would feel more professional) and Laura and Brianna wanted to stay a cappella. There's room for compromise there, I think. I adore a cappella stuff, and there will always be purely a cappella arrangements to do, but I do feel as often as possible we should sing with accompaniment. I mean, you guys know me...if it isn't good enough to get paid for, I don't wanna do it at all, lol!
I'm hoping with more shows, and more opportunity for PAYING shows under my belt, I'll have enough extra dollars to get myself some singing lessons. If I start studying under Sharon, then she'll want me to sing at the choir shows, and that's just more opportunity to get my own name well known in Nanaimo, right?
Life is going pretty darn good right now, I think. Singing onstage, despite my not being as good at it as acting, has always made me happier than anything, so I think I should make that a necessary thing. I love performance!
Wednesday, June 7th, Wellington Choir Year End Performance, feat. The Collective! Be there,
or be square! By donation.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
holy shit
someone just totally hacked my nex...like changed fucking everything around. I'm apparently thirty, have no pics, no friends and am from New Westminster.
How can people be that cruel? How can people just fuck things up for other people? I guess now I discovered who the fuck sent that message to my nex boy.
I'm crying so hard right now. This is just what I needed. Fuck.
How can people be that cruel? How can people just fuck things up for other people? I guess now I discovered who the fuck sent that message to my nex boy.
I'm crying so hard right now. This is just what I needed. Fuck.
pressure vent
ok...I need to go off for a bit. I'm warning you now so that if you don't need more depression and unhappy in your lives you can just go to the next blogs. No one has to read this, but I do have to get it off my chest.
I HATE life. I despise everything about adulthood. This game of, "oh well, look on the brightside, I now have my own house to party with" is long since over.
I miss the way things were when no matter how bad they got, the foundations of my world were still intact. I went through so much shit in my younger years, and learned to deal with it and get through it, because I knew that there would always be this core group of human beings who still wanted me around no matter how much they yelled at me for forgetting to feed my rabbit, no matter how many salt-shakers they threw at me in anger, no matter how many times someone accidentally dumped a pot of boiling water over my wrist. My world was alright because even though it often wasn't the way I wanted it, fundamentally, everything was ok. There was food in my cupboards, enough money to do some fun things, and one person who would never ever stop loving me, no matter what I did. (and the crap my siblings got into proved that fact to me without my ever having to soil my hands with mischeif)
In the months since her death, I've begun to realize what a treasure to was to have a mother who, despite no money in her wallet and a half a tank of gas in her truck would drive me to school when it was raining. That realization has come through months of walking home in the freezing cold, biking to work in the rain, getting muddy and uncomfortable and knowing that less than six months ago, I wouldn't have had to feel this way. She couldn't give me very much at all. Raising a teenage daughter on $800 dollars a month doesn't give you much leeway. But the things she could do, like drive me to work when she could, and buy me a coffee when I was half awake on the way to work or school, she did without any complaint, and happily.
I miss knowing that however much crap I got into, she would always love me. It didn't matter if I called the cops on my sister, or got pregnant at eighteen, or stole a truck and led the cops on a freeway chase ending in probation for months on end and the loss of my license (all of which my siblings have done at one time or another), she was always going to be there for us to help however she could, and do everything possible while she was at it. She was always there for us, when our life experiences gave us the need to talk to somebody for hours on end, sometimes all night, sometimes at the cost of long distance phone charges that were so debilitating, we had to cut off our phone for years after that.
The greatest joy she took from us was in our accomplishments, things that we did for ourselves. We never could do things for her like buy her a house, or give her a vacation, things that would give any parent pride and happiness from their offspring. The best we could offer her was, an acceptence to SFU from Sherayna and yet another standing ovation from me, and a truck with a LOUD stereo system entirely built from scratch from Quinn. And that was all she needed. Even when those accomplishments meant discomfort for her; getting up at four in the morning to take Sherayna to her new dorm room; dealing with the crush of people and the genuine but unwelcome affection from other parents at my shows; the sheer irritation of listening to Quinn test his speakers until he could hear them from the other side of the forest by our house; she never complained and all she needed was to watch how proud of ourselves we were to take joy from it.
Absolutely nothing I've gone through in the past six months, means anything to the enormity of losing this wonderful person whom I took for granted every day of my existence. I was so sure of her continued presence in everything I would ever experience, that it was always ok for me to yell at her, and throw everything she had given me in her face, for want of things she COULDN'T and never would be able to give to me. It was always fine to run off and spend a week with Ace, knowing she wanted me at home to help put up Christmas decorations. All she wanted from me was a day of my company. One single day to take the dogs up the mountain, and find ourselves a good Christmas tree and teach me how to use the chainsaw so that if I ever needed to cut wood for myself for a fire so I wouldn't have to live in a cold house, I would know how to operate it without cutting a limb off.
But one single day of my life was too much for me to give. and that's what hurts the most.
she gave the best of the most priceless of gifts as much as she possibly could, and all she ever asked was the same. She taught me to feel joy in the simple act of having coffee to drink in the morning. She taught me how much more wonderful it was to spend a day in the mountains with coffee and chocolate bars, walking the dogs, watching them enjoy themselves, than it was to spend a day at the mall pretending to be cool like all the other moneyed kids I longed to be like. She taught me how to give the most simple but powerful gift and to take joy in return from the smallest things. She showed me how much more a little puppy who trusts you and would take a star from the sky for you if it could is worth so much more than any kind of possession. And yes it takes time and effort and expense and work. But the love and trust in that dog's eyes and how it just comes when you call it, and joyfully, is worth so much more than anything else. She taught me that.
And I just gave it away.
And I'm still giving it away. Every single day, I move more and more stuff out of the home she was so proud of. I box away, and cover up more of the garage sale treasures she was so proud of. This home, this "party place" that I wouldn't have if it wasn't for her, is losing more and more of her influence. Nothing about it reflects my life with her here. I feel like by scrubbing the walls, I'm washing away her presence. I can barely remember what it was like to sit in the same room with her. When I look at my home now, the walls that she wanted in the first place hold no feeling of her. It's like after all this time, the mere act of moving her possessions out is helping remove her as well.
I look at the yard, and it's May and there are still no flowers growing. By now, you wouldn't have been able to see the grass for the colour. All the dogs are gone and their area swept clean. Even Moth is never around, sitting on some pile of books as if she owned the world. Instead she hides in the basement, and we only ever see her when she's hungry. Her truck is no longer parked in the front, comforting and familiar. Instead it's some huge ugly black beast who never belonged to her and will never remind me of her.
I don't want to move on, I don't want to get over it. I'm forgetting the sound of her voice, and I HATE it. It's like I'm losing her twice. I miss her more than anything. Any of my stupid dramas this past year just don't matter compared to how much I miss her. I don't know why I've been this emotional lately except maybe now that I'm realizing it's never going to ease up. Life is never going to get any easier, and that's just the human condition.
Anyways, that's my big long vent. If you read it, thank you. If you didn't, that's fine too. It's just--I needed to talk about her for a while. I did this yesterday too, with Quinn. I'll probably do it again tomorrow with whoever will listen.
I think maybe it's time for that therapy to begin.
I HATE life. I despise everything about adulthood. This game of, "oh well, look on the brightside, I now have my own house to party with" is long since over.
I miss the way things were when no matter how bad they got, the foundations of my world were still intact. I went through so much shit in my younger years, and learned to deal with it and get through it, because I knew that there would always be this core group of human beings who still wanted me around no matter how much they yelled at me for forgetting to feed my rabbit, no matter how many salt-shakers they threw at me in anger, no matter how many times someone accidentally dumped a pot of boiling water over my wrist. My world was alright because even though it often wasn't the way I wanted it, fundamentally, everything was ok. There was food in my cupboards, enough money to do some fun things, and one person who would never ever stop loving me, no matter what I did. (and the crap my siblings got into proved that fact to me without my ever having to soil my hands with mischeif)
In the months since her death, I've begun to realize what a treasure to was to have a mother who, despite no money in her wallet and a half a tank of gas in her truck would drive me to school when it was raining. That realization has come through months of walking home in the freezing cold, biking to work in the rain, getting muddy and uncomfortable and knowing that less than six months ago, I wouldn't have had to feel this way. She couldn't give me very much at all. Raising a teenage daughter on $800 dollars a month doesn't give you much leeway. But the things she could do, like drive me to work when she could, and buy me a coffee when I was half awake on the way to work or school, she did without any complaint, and happily.
I miss knowing that however much crap I got into, she would always love me. It didn't matter if I called the cops on my sister, or got pregnant at eighteen, or stole a truck and led the cops on a freeway chase ending in probation for months on end and the loss of my license (all of which my siblings have done at one time or another), she was always going to be there for us to help however she could, and do everything possible while she was at it. She was always there for us, when our life experiences gave us the need to talk to somebody for hours on end, sometimes all night, sometimes at the cost of long distance phone charges that were so debilitating, we had to cut off our phone for years after that.
The greatest joy she took from us was in our accomplishments, things that we did for ourselves. We never could do things for her like buy her a house, or give her a vacation, things that would give any parent pride and happiness from their offspring. The best we could offer her was, an acceptence to SFU from Sherayna and yet another standing ovation from me, and a truck with a LOUD stereo system entirely built from scratch from Quinn. And that was all she needed. Even when those accomplishments meant discomfort for her; getting up at four in the morning to take Sherayna to her new dorm room; dealing with the crush of people and the genuine but unwelcome affection from other parents at my shows; the sheer irritation of listening to Quinn test his speakers until he could hear them from the other side of the forest by our house; she never complained and all she needed was to watch how proud of ourselves we were to take joy from it.
Absolutely nothing I've gone through in the past six months, means anything to the enormity of losing this wonderful person whom I took for granted every day of my existence. I was so sure of her continued presence in everything I would ever experience, that it was always ok for me to yell at her, and throw everything she had given me in her face, for want of things she COULDN'T and never would be able to give to me. It was always fine to run off and spend a week with Ace, knowing she wanted me at home to help put up Christmas decorations. All she wanted from me was a day of my company. One single day to take the dogs up the mountain, and find ourselves a good Christmas tree and teach me how to use the chainsaw so that if I ever needed to cut wood for myself for a fire so I wouldn't have to live in a cold house, I would know how to operate it without cutting a limb off.
But one single day of my life was too much for me to give. and that's what hurts the most.
she gave the best of the most priceless of gifts as much as she possibly could, and all she ever asked was the same. She taught me to feel joy in the simple act of having coffee to drink in the morning. She taught me how much more wonderful it was to spend a day in the mountains with coffee and chocolate bars, walking the dogs, watching them enjoy themselves, than it was to spend a day at the mall pretending to be cool like all the other moneyed kids I longed to be like. She taught me how to give the most simple but powerful gift and to take joy in return from the smallest things. She showed me how much more a little puppy who trusts you and would take a star from the sky for you if it could is worth so much more than any kind of possession. And yes it takes time and effort and expense and work. But the love and trust in that dog's eyes and how it just comes when you call it, and joyfully, is worth so much more than anything else. She taught me that.
And I just gave it away.
And I'm still giving it away. Every single day, I move more and more stuff out of the home she was so proud of. I box away, and cover up more of the garage sale treasures she was so proud of. This home, this "party place" that I wouldn't have if it wasn't for her, is losing more and more of her influence. Nothing about it reflects my life with her here. I feel like by scrubbing the walls, I'm washing away her presence. I can barely remember what it was like to sit in the same room with her. When I look at my home now, the walls that she wanted in the first place hold no feeling of her. It's like after all this time, the mere act of moving her possessions out is helping remove her as well.
I look at the yard, and it's May and there are still no flowers growing. By now, you wouldn't have been able to see the grass for the colour. All the dogs are gone and their area swept clean. Even Moth is never around, sitting on some pile of books as if she owned the world. Instead she hides in the basement, and we only ever see her when she's hungry. Her truck is no longer parked in the front, comforting and familiar. Instead it's some huge ugly black beast who never belonged to her and will never remind me of her.
I don't want to move on, I don't want to get over it. I'm forgetting the sound of her voice, and I HATE it. It's like I'm losing her twice. I miss her more than anything. Any of my stupid dramas this past year just don't matter compared to how much I miss her. I don't know why I've been this emotional lately except maybe now that I'm realizing it's never going to ease up. Life is never going to get any easier, and that's just the human condition.
Anyways, that's my big long vent. If you read it, thank you. If you didn't, that's fine too. It's just--I needed to talk about her for a while. I did this yesterday too, with Quinn. I'll probably do it again tomorrow with whoever will listen.
I think maybe it's time for that therapy to begin.
Friday, May 26, 2006
no longer broke!
or the owner of Tika the Dog. yes, I finally did it. We finally gave her to the SPCA. I cried. A lot. I don't know why, she wasn't mine, I didn;t raise her, although somehow I managed ending up with the care of her. So not cool, it's just not cool.
Then we went to Timmies, and Quinn bought me a coffee. Without even complaining that it was a cappacino! :) That made me feel better. Hung out with Court's sister and a ridiculously cute child. (no young small human being has the right to look that cute, when they're all devil spawn)
Then we went to Crazy Eights, while I checked my account, and lo and behold for the first time since late March, TWENTY FUCKING DOLLARS CAME OUT! fuck yeah! I am no longer broke. I bought blank cd's, a cd wallet and a couple of wooden light switch framer thingies which me and Brianna are going to paint. Because I say so. w00t w00t!
Ace called me this morning, and told me I was Kenny from South Park. His reason for this being, he's been watching an unhealthy amount of that show lately, and he watched the commentary on the seasons he just bought, and someone asked the creators why they always killed Kenny, and the answer was: "because he's poor" So, according to Ace, God is the creators of South Park, and I am Kenny. *sigh* that boy needs less caffeine.
He also told me he missed feeling good about himself because compared to how shitty my life is, his is excellent. Does anybody else want to kick him a little?
jk, jk! I *heart* you and your evil evil ways, Ace. *punch*
Then we went to Timmies, and Quinn bought me a coffee. Without even complaining that it was a cappacino! :) That made me feel better. Hung out with Court's sister and a ridiculously cute child. (no young small human being has the right to look that cute, when they're all devil spawn)
Then we went to Crazy Eights, while I checked my account, and lo and behold for the first time since late March, TWENTY FUCKING DOLLARS CAME OUT! fuck yeah! I am no longer broke. I bought blank cd's, a cd wallet and a couple of wooden light switch framer thingies which me and Brianna are going to paint. Because I say so. w00t w00t!
Ace called me this morning, and told me I was Kenny from South Park. His reason for this being, he's been watching an unhealthy amount of that show lately, and he watched the commentary on the seasons he just bought, and someone asked the creators why they always killed Kenny, and the answer was: "because he's poor" So, according to Ace, God is the creators of South Park, and I am Kenny. *sigh* that boy needs less caffeine.
He also told me he missed feeling good about himself because compared to how shitty my life is, his is excellent. Does anybody else want to kick him a little?
jk, jk! I *heart* you and your evil evil ways, Ace. *punch*
Thursday, May 25, 2006
can't disappoint Barb
Two Names You Go By:
1. Alleah
2. Pinto
Two Parts of Your Heritage:
1. Russian
2. Iroquois
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. gray sweater
2. pink t-shirt
Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. fun/laughter
2. good conversation/sex
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Dancing
2. dogs
Two Things You Want Really Badly At The Moment:
1. happiness (current, or lasting)
2. money
Two pets you had/have:
1. Ahrodie the dog
2. Sensei the dog
Two people who will fill this out:
1. Amber
2. Donna
Two things you did last night:
1. Slept
2. smoked a cigarette
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Mozzarella's
2. The Dinghy Dock Pub
Two People that live in your house:
1. my bro
2. his dog
Two things you ate today:
1. cereal
2. um...a freezie?
Two people you Last Talked To:
1. Geoff
2. Monkey
Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. sleeping
2. smoking a cigarette
(yes my life really is that boring lately.)
Two things you should be doin right now:
1. not thinking about it
2. not feeling bad about it
And now, because I'm bored...
(in case you couldn't tell from the bold, that was meant to be read in a wrestling announcer voice)
9 lasts.
last place you were: Gator's house
last cigarette: a few minutes ago
last beverage: Water
last kiss: er...Dean :(
last movie seen: um...something with Sean...I was excited about it..I think...I can't remember, I hate movie theatres.
last phone call: Geoff
last cd played: My amazingly awesome Not-Mellow CD, with Journey, and Bright Eyes on it.
last bubble bath: yesterday, before work. it was lovely!
last time you cried: this morning. :(
8 have you evers. (apparently there are only 7... weird)
-have you ever dated someone twice: :( yes
-have you ever been cheated on: no :(
-have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: am I a terrible person because I don't regret the actual kissing? :(
(how come EVERY QUESTION makes me unhappy?)
-have you ever fallen in love: absolutely
-have you ever made out in the woods: haha, yep!
-have you ever been depressed: I'm depressed now.
-have you ever been drunk and thrown up: many many times
8 states you've been to:
1. Washington
2. Oregon
3. California
4. Arizona
5. Virginia
6. D.C. (yes, it's a state, fuckers)
7. Maryland
8. Alaska
6 things you've done today.
1. Sang Seasons of Love
2. sang Frobisher Bay
3. sang Somebody to Love
4. learned part of Dream a Little Dream of Me.
5. threw myself on Laura's couch and wailed because Dream a Little Dream of Me was hard in a terrible discordant jazzy kind of way. :(
6. took some Tylenol
5 favorite things.
1. Laughter
2. Friends
3. Partying
4. Dogs
5. being on stage
4 people you can tell pretty much anything to.(in no particular order)
1. Brianna
2. Laura
3. Ace
4. Geoff
3 favorite colors.
1. Green
2. Pink
3. Black
2 things you want to do before you die.
1. walk on the moon
2. raise over twenty various animals.
1. I regret: only one??? only one? fine. I regret having regrets.
1. Alleah
2. Pinto
Two Parts of Your Heritage:
1. Russian
2. Iroquois
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. gray sweater
2. pink t-shirt
Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. fun/laughter
2. good conversation/sex
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Dancing
2. dogs
Two Things You Want Really Badly At The Moment:
1. happiness (current, or lasting)
2. money
Two pets you had/have:
1. Ahrodie the dog
2. Sensei the dog
Two people who will fill this out:
1. Amber
2. Donna
Two things you did last night:
1. Slept
2. smoked a cigarette
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Mozzarella's
2. The Dinghy Dock Pub
Two People that live in your house:
1. my bro
2. his dog
Two things you ate today:
1. cereal
2. um...a freezie?
Two people you Last Talked To:
1. Geoff
2. Monkey
Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. sleeping
2. smoking a cigarette
(yes my life really is that boring lately.)
Two things you should be doin right now:
1. not thinking about it
2. not feeling bad about it
And now, because I'm bored...
(in case you couldn't tell from the bold, that was meant to be read in a wrestling announcer voice)
9 lasts.
last place you were: Gator's house
last cigarette: a few minutes ago
last beverage: Water
last kiss: er...Dean :(
last movie seen: um...something with Sean...I was excited about it..I think...I can't remember, I hate movie theatres.
last phone call: Geoff
last cd played: My amazingly awesome Not-Mellow CD, with Journey, and Bright Eyes on it.
last bubble bath: yesterday, before work. it was lovely!
last time you cried: this morning. :(
8 have you evers. (apparently there are only 7... weird)
-have you ever dated someone twice: :( yes
-have you ever been cheated on: no :(
-have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: am I a terrible person because I don't regret the actual kissing? :(
(how come EVERY QUESTION makes me unhappy?)
-have you ever fallen in love: absolutely
-have you ever made out in the woods: haha, yep!
-have you ever been depressed: I'm depressed now.
-have you ever been drunk and thrown up: many many times
8 states you've been to:
1. Washington
2. Oregon
3. California
4. Arizona
5. Virginia
6. D.C. (yes, it's a state, fuckers)
7. Maryland
8. Alaska
6 things you've done today.
1. Sang Seasons of Love
2. sang Frobisher Bay
3. sang Somebody to Love
4. learned part of Dream a Little Dream of Me.
5. threw myself on Laura's couch and wailed because Dream a Little Dream of Me was hard in a terrible discordant jazzy kind of way. :(
6. took some Tylenol
5 favorite things.
1. Laughter
2. Friends
3. Partying
4. Dogs
5. being on stage
4 people you can tell pretty much anything to.(in no particular order)
1. Brianna
2. Laura
3. Ace
4. Geoff
3 favorite colors.
1. Green
2. Pink
3. Black
2 things you want to do before you die.
1. walk on the moon
2. raise over twenty various animals.
1. I regret: only one??? only one? fine. I regret having regrets.
marginally better mood today
but not by much. still a little sick, but very medicated, so not too bad. And today I spent sleeping, going to choir, rocking socks off, and then practicing Somebody to Love and learning Dream a Little Dream of Me with Original Collective. FUCK jazz. fuck it. right up the fuck hole. It seriously took us two and a half hours to learn a verse and a half of SSATB jazz harmony. FUCK YOU, jazz. I blame Brianna. she wanted to learn it for her boyee, and then tried to ruin the surprise by texting him about it. oh jeez.
someone show me how to make voodoo dolls. so I can killate my manager. Kill him so dead.
someone show me how to make voodoo dolls. so I can killate my manager. Kill him so dead.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
GREG MY ASSISTANT MANAGER IS THE BIGGEST ASS EVER
I will kill him and eat his soul.
He was driving everybody so crazy today, that one of my favorite people quit on the spot. He was OBSESSED with getting three large salads ready for the dinner rush, and EVERY SINGLE PERSON THERE was like, "no we don't need anymore" finally everyone who had been argueing with him was gone; Lynn had quit and stormed out, Cindy was out having a smoke cause he wouldn't stop bitchign at her, and Lisa was on her break/ talking to Cindy. So what does he do? Take me away from the job I was right in the middle of, and FORCES me to make the salads, so I do, and then Lisa comes back in, and yells at me!!! RAWR! I was SO pissed.
So she's finally liek whatever, Greg do what you want, so I'm in the middle of making coleslaw, and Greg gets his lazy ass called front from the managment booth where he's sitting with his thumb up his ass bitching at Lisa so he can help Cindy who's on drive thru, front counter, AND kitchen. Now ten mintues before this he yelled at me for hekping her, and told me to get back to the salad. Now, as SOON, as he got up to drive thru, he fucked up the order a lot, and had two unpaid for orders at the same time (how the FUCK you do that in drive thru, I'll never know), so he made me take their money (whilst explaining every little detail to me as if I have the brain of a maggot). Then because the service time was above five minutes, Lisa came in and yelled at me, because it looked like it was my fault! And then she was like, "what;s this coleslaw stuff doing out?" and cleaned up everythign I was IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING. I explained, and she just walked away, totally pissed at me. At ME!!!!
So the customers are pissed because they've been sitting in their car for over ten minutes waiting for a FUCKING burger, I'm trying to figure out simultaneous cash, and debit transactions, while Greg rattles on and on, explaining shit I DON';T NEED EXPLAINED. He even showed me how to open the FUCKING BAG. They eventually havcing to come to the counter because not only is Greg such a douche he can't take an order in under ten fucking minutes, he also forgot to put in items of their order! So I had to take their additional order, and THEY got pissed at me, and stormed off!
I FINALLY get back to my coleslaw (which I've been yelled at for, like three times by now), and have to take ALL the crap out again, and start ALL OVER AGAIN. So then I'm finishing up the coleslaw salads, and what does Greg do? COMES OVER AND YELLS AT ME FOR NOT HELPING CINDY IN THE FIRST PLACE
.kjxdfbvl;SKZbv/LsdkhfA/,ams.DNfv.KJW, MSD/VLWJREM VD/,bmd cv/ BJFKJSZGALHGBA;SLJGBal;sdkjg;agjubvha;sbvuhz;dskjrghpSAIuefbakwjsfgbval;kjsr
g;JWGFKJHDXF;JKSFHG;ZSFRGJH;SD RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING CUNT LICKING COCK SUCKING ASS BASTARD PENIS CLOWNING FUCKING ASS MASTER OF STUPID ANGRY SHIT FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!~!!!!
and it is NOT over...
*sigh* so finally at two thirty, he's like, "I'm sending Alleah home early. there's nothing to do." Lisa, meanwhile is in the middle of training me on something, and she's like, all new people have to stay their full shift so they can learn everything. And he's like there's no point, there' nothing to train her on. And Lisa's like I'm in the MIDDLE of training her on soemthing, and he';s like, "well, i ahve to get my labour costs down" so, as you can see I DON'T get payed for the next half hour of AGGRAVATION which I am going to tell you about now.
So then they begin arguing about whether or not I can/should/will count my own till, and finally Cindy (god bless her smart ass mouth; it'll get her fired, but I love her for it) yells over both of them, "How about you ask her; she's RIGHT HERE" So Greg asks me, and I of course got trained in cashing out on Monday with Steve, the manager. So I say yes.
So I go to count my own til, and just before I go back their, lisa's like ask Greg if he should do it, or you should. So I ask. OF FUCKING COURSE he says, you should do it. SO I go back there and start doing it. Apparently, Lisa bitched at him for it, and slammed the rule book at him; LITERALLY slammed it into his chest.
So he goes back there, and I'm already done, but then he starts asking me all these questions, like, "what's this? why'd you do it that way? how much change do you have? how much is there in bills? are you sure? there'e nine twenties? there's nine? THERE'S NINE????????" panicing the fuck out of me, cause I'm just WTF did I do wrong? So finally, he interrupts one time more than I can take, and I';m like, "GREG...please, I need to count this all again, and extra numbers floating around in my brain don't help" so he fucks off in a snit, and then I have a problem: I don't know which number on the cashier receipt I'm suppsed to check the cash against...so I ask Greg.
...
BIG MISTAKE
He goes fucking off, making me recheck all my numbers, asking me, are you sure, are you sure, OVER AND FUCKING OVER again. So I'm going fucking craszy, thinking, if he's this worried oiver my til, wtf did I do WRONG? Then he shows me which number and my amount is exactly one hundred dollars over what I'm supposed to have. I'm PANICING at this point, thinkig if I could just shoot him in the face, I could figure this all out, and it would be fine. And then he starts being like, what are you talking about? You;re ninety cents over. Not a hundred dollars, and I;m like WHAT THE FUCK??? And he's like, I just did your numbers again, and at this point I'm surprised I didn't actually implode, and he shows me the nu mber, it's nintey cents off. I'm like, that isn't right, and in any case, I;m going ith MY numbers. I am PISSED right off by now. I finally figure out, that because I'm supposed to leave a $100 float for the next cashier, I added that onto my total, and that was what was making it a hundred dollars over. He starts explaing (stuttering, and talking with his hands, and making no sense whatsoever), and it takes him ten full minutes to explain...: that the number on the register is PROFITS ONLY.
HOW
THE
FUCK
DOES
IT
TAKE
TEN
MINUTES
TO
SAY
PROFITS. ONLY.
At that point, I put the money in a bag, shoved in his face, and left wihtout saying a word to anybody. Oh yeah, and did I mention, that for HALF of that, the owner was standing there alternately watching me panic, and listening to Greg whine about how nobody listened to him, and they were all insubordinate, and how he had a mutiny on his hands.
Seriously shoot me now.
He was driving everybody so crazy today, that one of my favorite people quit on the spot. He was OBSESSED with getting three large salads ready for the dinner rush, and EVERY SINGLE PERSON THERE was like, "no we don't need anymore" finally everyone who had been argueing with him was gone; Lynn had quit and stormed out, Cindy was out having a smoke cause he wouldn't stop bitchign at her, and Lisa was on her break/ talking to Cindy. So what does he do? Take me away from the job I was right in the middle of, and FORCES me to make the salads, so I do, and then Lisa comes back in, and yells at me!!! RAWR! I was SO pissed.
So she's finally liek whatever, Greg do what you want, so I'm in the middle of making coleslaw, and Greg gets his lazy ass called front from the managment booth where he's sitting with his thumb up his ass bitching at Lisa so he can help Cindy who's on drive thru, front counter, AND kitchen. Now ten mintues before this he yelled at me for hekping her, and told me to get back to the salad. Now, as SOON, as he got up to drive thru, he fucked up the order a lot, and had two unpaid for orders at the same time (how the FUCK you do that in drive thru, I'll never know), so he made me take their money (whilst explaining every little detail to me as if I have the brain of a maggot). Then because the service time was above five minutes, Lisa came in and yelled at me, because it looked like it was my fault! And then she was like, "what;s this coleslaw stuff doing out?" and cleaned up everythign I was IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING. I explained, and she just walked away, totally pissed at me. At ME!!!!
So the customers are pissed because they've been sitting in their car for over ten minutes waiting for a FUCKING burger, I'm trying to figure out simultaneous cash, and debit transactions, while Greg rattles on and on, explaining shit I DON';T NEED EXPLAINED. He even showed me how to open the FUCKING BAG. They eventually havcing to come to the counter because not only is Greg such a douche he can't take an order in under ten fucking minutes, he also forgot to put in items of their order! So I had to take their additional order, and THEY got pissed at me, and stormed off!
I FINALLY get back to my coleslaw (which I've been yelled at for, like three times by now), and have to take ALL the crap out again, and start ALL OVER AGAIN. So then I'm finishing up the coleslaw salads, and what does Greg do? COMES OVER AND YELLS AT ME FOR NOT HELPING CINDY IN THE FIRST PLACE
.kjxdfbvl;SKZbv/LsdkhfA/,ams.DNfv.KJW, MSD/VLWJREM VD/,bmd cv/ BJFKJSZGALHGBA;SLJGBal;sdkjg;agjubvha;sbvuhz;dskjrghpSAIuefbakwjsfgbval;kjsr
g;JWGFKJHDXF;JKSFHG;ZSFRGJH;SD RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING CUNT LICKING COCK SUCKING ASS BASTARD PENIS CLOWNING FUCKING ASS MASTER OF STUPID ANGRY SHIT FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!~!!!!
and it is NOT over...
*sigh* so finally at two thirty, he's like, "I'm sending Alleah home early. there's nothing to do." Lisa, meanwhile is in the middle of training me on something, and she's like, all new people have to stay their full shift so they can learn everything. And he's like there's no point, there' nothing to train her on. And Lisa's like I'm in the MIDDLE of training her on soemthing, and he';s like, "well, i ahve to get my labour costs down" so, as you can see I DON'T get payed for the next half hour of AGGRAVATION which I am going to tell you about now.
So then they begin arguing about whether or not I can/should/will count my own till, and finally Cindy (god bless her smart ass mouth; it'll get her fired, but I love her for it) yells over both of them, "How about you ask her; she's RIGHT HERE" So Greg asks me, and I of course got trained in cashing out on Monday with Steve, the manager. So I say yes.
So I go to count my own til, and just before I go back their, lisa's like ask Greg if he should do it, or you should. So I ask. OF FUCKING COURSE he says, you should do it. SO I go back there and start doing it. Apparently, Lisa bitched at him for it, and slammed the rule book at him; LITERALLY slammed it into his chest.
So he goes back there, and I'm already done, but then he starts asking me all these questions, like, "what's this? why'd you do it that way? how much change do you have? how much is there in bills? are you sure? there'e nine twenties? there's nine? THERE'S NINE????????" panicing the fuck out of me, cause I'm just WTF did I do wrong? So finally, he interrupts one time more than I can take, and I';m like, "GREG...please, I need to count this all again, and extra numbers floating around in my brain don't help" so he fucks off in a snit, and then I have a problem: I don't know which number on the cashier receipt I'm suppsed to check the cash against...so I ask Greg.
...
BIG MISTAKE
He goes fucking off, making me recheck all my numbers, asking me, are you sure, are you sure, OVER AND FUCKING OVER again. So I'm going fucking craszy, thinking, if he's this worried oiver my til, wtf did I do WRONG? Then he shows me which number and my amount is exactly one hundred dollars over what I'm supposed to have. I'm PANICING at this point, thinkig if I could just shoot him in the face, I could figure this all out, and it would be fine. And then he starts being like, what are you talking about? You;re ninety cents over. Not a hundred dollars, and I;m like WHAT THE FUCK??? And he's like, I just did your numbers again, and at this point I'm surprised I didn't actually implode, and he shows me the nu mber, it's nintey cents off. I'm like, that isn't right, and in any case, I;m going ith MY numbers. I am PISSED right off by now. I finally figure out, that because I'm supposed to leave a $100 float for the next cashier, I added that onto my total, and that was what was making it a hundred dollars over. He starts explaing (stuttering, and talking with his hands, and making no sense whatsoever), and it takes him ten full minutes to explain...: that the number on the register is PROFITS ONLY.
HOW
THE
FUCK
DOES
IT
TAKE
TEN
MINUTES
TO
SAY
PROFITS. ONLY.
At that point, I put the money in a bag, shoved in his face, and left wihtout saying a word to anybody. Oh yeah, and did I mention, that for HALF of that, the owner was standing there alternately watching me panic, and listening to Greg whine about how nobody listened to him, and they were all insubordinate, and how he had a mutiny on his hands.
Seriously shoot me now.
Monday, May 22, 2006
meaty goodness
I cooked dinner today! go me! And by dinner I mean real live dinner! Steak and rice. There were no veggies in the freezer, but I was planning on cooking some o' those, as well. But there wasn't. So...streak. And rice. w00t.
that is all. :D
that is all. :D
Sunday, May 21, 2006
party pics!
me and my bitches!!!
bowlers bring out Barb's predatory side.
look who's getting some action!!!
what a cute pouty face. Spencer!
who needs a microphone when you have a bottle'o'booze?
I said NO to the Krispy Cremes, boy!
yet another pretty party Pinto!
Saturday, May 20, 2006
good bye
our friendship is over. you betrayed my trust and friendship beyond anything I've ever experienced before.
don't ever talk to me again.
don't ever talk to me again.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
can of geeks
I am a geek. I shall be canned in a cannery, and sold as a non-perishable fun item on a grocery store shelf.
I had my first shift at A&W, and my inner retard became apparent. The first half was mostly bookwork. bah. boring. Then I got to go in the back, and help everyone else. Basically, I looked at a til, tried to figure out what the CRAZY abbreviations meant, and put the shiz into the bag, or onto the tray. I put stuff into a bag, when it was for there, twice, and put stuff on a tray when it was to go once. I forgot to put napkins, and straws in the bags like five times, and got in everybody's way the whole shift. I cleaned the DIRTIEST boys bathroom I've ever seen in my life, while this girl told me and the other new girl stories about finding a crackhead in there bleeding all over once. All I could think for the rest of the day was CRACK HEAD. it was disturbing.
Fun people, one cute boy, who seemed kind of awkward and tongue-tied, however, he was amusing. The fellow new girl is pretty awesome. She gave me hope, because today was her second shift, and she wasn't nearly as reatrded as I was, so there's hope for me for Monday.
Totally awkward, they didn't have a uniform for me, so I had to work the whole shift in my street clothes: jeans, sandals, and a black button up over a tube top! The customers were looking at me like I was an alien! omg
The apex of my stupid however came when I twirled a bag of straws after filling the dispenser, and discovered there was a hole in the bag--when STRAWS FLEW EVERYWHERE!!!!! The girl who was training me, just said nothing. It was worse than anything she could have possibly said at that point. wow. I am a spaz.
I ask you all, just how undeveloped must a person's brain be to fuck up their first shift at A&FUCKINGW??? However, the manager seemed to like me. He was nice to me all day. Must have been the tube top. ;D I'm a loser.
So I've got shifts all next week, and I managed to get Greg (the manager) to let me have tomorrow night off, so I will be PARTYING DOWN, w00t! Party on, Garth. (party on Wayne!) I get trained on til next week starting Monday, and then by the end of the week I get to be on til by myself! woo-hoo! I'm ridiculously excited about the drive thru. It's the funner of the three tils, I think.
Everybody has to come visit me. I demand it. Fuck what the stupid training book said. Oh and Ace, tell Michelle that apparently Amanda used to work there. i saw her during my shift today, and she was happy to see I was working at that A&W.
Anyways, enough boring Alleah's-excited-about-her-new-dumbass-job post. I'm going on nex. To prove my loser-dom. woo-freakin-hoo, baby!
I had my first shift at A&W, and my inner retard became apparent. The first half was mostly bookwork. bah. boring. Then I got to go in the back, and help everyone else. Basically, I looked at a til, tried to figure out what the CRAZY abbreviations meant, and put the shiz into the bag, or onto the tray. I put stuff into a bag, when it was for there, twice, and put stuff on a tray when it was to go once. I forgot to put napkins, and straws in the bags like five times, and got in everybody's way the whole shift. I cleaned the DIRTIEST boys bathroom I've ever seen in my life, while this girl told me and the other new girl stories about finding a crackhead in there bleeding all over once. All I could think for the rest of the day was CRACK HEAD. it was disturbing.
Fun people, one cute boy, who seemed kind of awkward and tongue-tied, however, he was amusing. The fellow new girl is pretty awesome. She gave me hope, because today was her second shift, and she wasn't nearly as reatrded as I was, so there's hope for me for Monday.
Totally awkward, they didn't have a uniform for me, so I had to work the whole shift in my street clothes: jeans, sandals, and a black button up over a tube top! The customers were looking at me like I was an alien! omg
The apex of my stupid however came when I twirled a bag of straws after filling the dispenser, and discovered there was a hole in the bag--when STRAWS FLEW EVERYWHERE!!!!! The girl who was training me, just said nothing. It was worse than anything she could have possibly said at that point. wow. I am a spaz.
I ask you all, just how undeveloped must a person's brain be to fuck up their first shift at A&FUCKINGW??? However, the manager seemed to like me. He was nice to me all day. Must have been the tube top. ;D I'm a loser.
So I've got shifts all next week, and I managed to get Greg (the manager) to let me have tomorrow night off, so I will be PARTYING DOWN, w00t! Party on, Garth. (party on Wayne!) I get trained on til next week starting Monday, and then by the end of the week I get to be on til by myself! woo-hoo! I'm ridiculously excited about the drive thru. It's the funner of the three tils, I think.
Everybody has to come visit me. I demand it. Fuck what the stupid training book said. Oh and Ace, tell Michelle that apparently Amanda used to work there. i saw her during my shift today, and she was happy to see I was working at that A&W.
Anyways, enough boring Alleah's-excited-about-her-new-dumbass-job post. I'm going on nex. To prove my loser-dom. woo-freakin-hoo, baby!
ice cream, and beach sunsets
my shirt is on backwards, and I just don't care. take that.
So yesterday, I was on msn, with Chris, and he somehow interpreted directions to my house (for the party) as "come over now" and showed up at my house around three thirty. He had just bought a new bong, and was obsessed with breaking it in, so we left my place, and headed up to Lantzville to find people to hang out with, so Chris could smoke his bong.
We got to his place, (which is GORGEOUS, btw! pool, deck, hot tub, nice yard; I say next party is at his place!) and called Olives, who decided to meet us at a school in Lantzville. We were on msn with a bunch of peeps, like Glenn, and Brianna, and Chris' ex, Leah. We tried getting them to come with us, but only Leah decided to come. It was funny, when she got there, and we hung out, I kept making jokes that Chris was building an army of ex-girlfriends. We walked by Mel's house, and I wanted to invite her to be part of the army. It would have been funny!
Later, after a Brown Cow shared between the three of us, and some me putting a mousie down my shirt, and then letting it poop on Chris, we headed off to the park, and met Olives. We made our way to the log pit, and smoked some pot. It took me no time at all to get stoned. I had two hits, and was giggly all ready! tsk. lol! (btw, I have a mosquito bite, and I have a feeling it was from the foresty log pit; unimpressed!)
We walked to the Lantzville Store, where Chris bought us candies, and ice cream. Then we walked to a beach and ate the ice cream. That was very yummy ice cream. It was so pretty there, but there were these kayakers...annoying kayakers. ick. and annoying old people talking to the annoying kayakers. ick. The sun started setting and it was so pretty. Like totally gorgeous. I had wanted to go skinny-dipping, but by that time, I probably would drowned, stoned and filled with ice cream as I was.
Instead, we walked back to the log pit, where we smoked more weed. After that, Olives took Leah home, and then we returned to Chris' to play some Super Smash Bros! Awesome!! I guess I was zoning out in the car, cause Chris and Olives kept making fun of me. *shrug* We played Super Smash Bros until about tenthirty. Chris and Olives kept beating me soooo bad except for ONE time, when I prevailed. W00T!!!! However, it was only once. Shiz. Nitch.
After that, Olives drove me the whole way home, which was sooooo nice of him! I put a movie on, and ended up falling asleep REALLY uncomfortably on the couch. I woke up at some point in the night, and drank like a quarter of a two litre of ice tea. I was SO THIRSTY. Quinn woke me up to bitch at me for drinking his ice tea. (big surprise)
Lately it seems like all Quinn ever does is bitch at me. Twenty-four seven. It is getting EXEPTIONALLY irritating. He thinks that because he payed rent last month, it makes the house ALL HIS. Completely forgetting the fact that for the previous three months he's lived here, I payed all the rent every single month, AND gave him a two thousand dollar loan. Mother fucker. Yes, he's REALLY getting on my nerves.
Last night I had a dream that my sister Sherayna got married--to another woman. that is all.
So yesterday, I was on msn, with Chris, and he somehow interpreted directions to my house (for the party) as "come over now" and showed up at my house around three thirty. He had just bought a new bong, and was obsessed with breaking it in, so we left my place, and headed up to Lantzville to find people to hang out with, so Chris could smoke his bong.
We got to his place, (which is GORGEOUS, btw! pool, deck, hot tub, nice yard; I say next party is at his place!) and called Olives, who decided to meet us at a school in Lantzville. We were on msn with a bunch of peeps, like Glenn, and Brianna, and Chris' ex, Leah. We tried getting them to come with us, but only Leah decided to come. It was funny, when she got there, and we hung out, I kept making jokes that Chris was building an army of ex-girlfriends. We walked by Mel's house, and I wanted to invite her to be part of the army. It would have been funny!
Later, after a Brown Cow shared between the three of us, and some me putting a mousie down my shirt, and then letting it poop on Chris, we headed off to the park, and met Olives. We made our way to the log pit, and smoked some pot. It took me no time at all to get stoned. I had two hits, and was giggly all ready! tsk. lol! (btw, I have a mosquito bite, and I have a feeling it was from the foresty log pit; unimpressed!)
We walked to the Lantzville Store, where Chris bought us candies, and ice cream. Then we walked to a beach and ate the ice cream. That was very yummy ice cream. It was so pretty there, but there were these kayakers...annoying kayakers. ick. and annoying old people talking to the annoying kayakers. ick. The sun started setting and it was so pretty. Like totally gorgeous. I had wanted to go skinny-dipping, but by that time, I probably would drowned, stoned and filled with ice cream as I was.
Instead, we walked back to the log pit, where we smoked more weed. After that, Olives took Leah home, and then we returned to Chris' to play some Super Smash Bros! Awesome!! I guess I was zoning out in the car, cause Chris and Olives kept making fun of me. *shrug* We played Super Smash Bros until about tenthirty. Chris and Olives kept beating me soooo bad except for ONE time, when I prevailed. W00T!!!! However, it was only once. Shiz. Nitch.
After that, Olives drove me the whole way home, which was sooooo nice of him! I put a movie on, and ended up falling asleep REALLY uncomfortably on the couch. I woke up at some point in the night, and drank like a quarter of a two litre of ice tea. I was SO THIRSTY. Quinn woke me up to bitch at me for drinking his ice tea. (big surprise)
Lately it seems like all Quinn ever does is bitch at me. Twenty-four seven. It is getting EXEPTIONALLY irritating. He thinks that because he payed rent last month, it makes the house ALL HIS. Completely forgetting the fact that for the previous three months he's lived here, I payed all the rent every single month, AND gave him a two thousand dollar loan. Mother fucker. Yes, he's REALLY getting on my nerves.
Last night I had a dream that my sister Sherayna got married--to another woman. that is all.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
sometimes I feel like a walking vagina
yeah, that's right. I am merely a sexual organ. Sometimes it bugs me, sometimes it doesn't, but it feels like all guys fall in love with me because of sex. I sometimes feel as if, the only reason guys I date miss me is because of the sex, and the only reason they occasionally return is for the sex. I wish I knew what kind of girl a guy would stay with because of the person. I wish I'd spent more time developing my person skills, instead of my sex skills.
ick. me = gross
ick. me = gross
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
I ran over a permanent marker because I'm sexy and do what I want
Above title shall be explained at the bottom of this post. So I had my interview at A&W today, and got hired on the spot. W00T sounds fine to me. I start tomorrow at an unspecified time, *gulp*. not much else to say, except my naked suntanning this morning left me unevenly cooked. Lets say if I was a steak, most of me would be welldone, but my stomach is medium rare. ick!
So below is a fun game. I think when I'm bored and need a post title--or maybe even in my TEMPLATE! hahahahaha!--I shall write one of those. Good times.
Pick the month you were born in:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I did the macarena with
April--I played with
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I sang to
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I smoked
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a paperclip
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a gangster
6-------the pizza delivery guy
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friend's boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------an ipod
12-------a banana
13-------Chuck Norris
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19-------myself
20-------a football player
21-------a ninja
22-------a fireman
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a baseball bat
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------my science teacher
29-------a permanent marker
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White------because I was high.
Black-------because that's how I roll.
Pink--------because I'm NOT homosexual.
Red---------because the voices told me to.
Blue--------because I'm sexy and do what I want.
Green------because I hate myself.
Purple------because I'm cool.
Gray--------because I was drunk.
Yellow------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange----because I hate my family.
Other-------because that's how I roll.
none------because I can't control myself.
So below is a fun game. I think when I'm bored and need a post title--or maybe even in my TEMPLATE! hahahahaha!--I shall write one of those. Good times.
Pick the month you were born in:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I did the macarena with
April--I played with
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I sang to
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I smoked
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a paperclip
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a gangster
6-------the pizza delivery guy
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friend's boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------an ipod
12-------a banana
13-------Chuck Norris
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19-------myself
20-------a football player
21-------a ninja
22-------a fireman
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a baseball bat
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------my science teacher
29-------a permanent marker
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White------because I was high.
Black-------because that's how I roll.
Pink--------because I'm NOT homosexual.
Red---------because the voices told me to.
Blue--------because I'm sexy and do what I want.
Green------because I hate myself.
Purple------because I'm cool.
Gray--------because I was drunk.
Yellow------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange----because I hate my family.
Other-------because that's how I roll.
none------because I can't control myself.
sunbathing half naked/ Ace's 10 Honest Statements
so the girls night was super awesome! Meghan, Lisa, Laura McNaught, Mel, Barbara, Amber and Michelle all came, and we had a sweet night. Laura made martinis, and we played I Never, and then we gave ourselves MAC makeovers. (sorry, Mel!) Mel and I slept i9n my bed and talked about aliens until five in the morning! lol
--but if there WERE a race of sentient rogue dinosaur aliens, how would we make contact???
--what was I saying about brontasauri?
The next morning, Amber woke me up at seven AM (urg) to help her catch her bus. Everyone laughed when I walked into the living room, because apparently, I looked tousled, and grumpy. Michelle gave Amber a ride to the bus, and I came with, earning a breakfast sandwich from Brianna's favorite workplace. :) Then everybody left, except for Michelle, who chilled at my place until she had to leave at eleven for work. Courtney discovered her sketchbook, and found a drawing she loved which Michelle gave to her. w00t.
Later, after all had gone home, Courtney and I went to SouthGate Plaza, so she could buy some shiz, and I could look for work. Got an interview today at four, woo-hoo! go me. dropped off resumes at a bunch of places.
At one, I walked home, and gave Ace a call, and we decided to hang out. I made my way to his place, and we walked to Timmies, where he bought me an Ice Cap! awesome! I'd been craving one, h-core. While at Timmies, he bugged me to know who he was on my honest statements, so instead of telling him, I made him write one of his own. He of course had neither the attention span, nor room on the bus schedule to write fifteen, so he only wrote ten.
Here are Ace's Honest Statements:
1) I've never enjoyed being someone's bitch so much. I hope you're right about me.
2) I'll never ever ever stop loving you with all my being.
3) I feel sorry for you, but only because I've been there. You're still pathetic.
4) You are the epitome of striking. It hurts everytime I see you, but I know I'll never be with you. I'm always smiling. (non sequitor much, Ace? jeex)
5)I don't hate you, it's just awkward.
6) You are so awesome, and I know you'll go far. You will forever be a huge part of me and I'll be there for you whenever you need it.
7)Damn you are funny. I've never been more sorry.
8) You truly are amazing. I think you saved me from myself. Thank you, I am forever indebted to you. Why are you so good to me?
9) I wish you didn't drink.
10) You are the biggest influence on me ever. I will be you friend and always comb my hair like yours forever. Thank you.
So, most of the people who wrote honest statements won't get at least half of those. I know them all of course, because I am magnificent. hahahar. The one he wrote for me has a lot of scribble-outs on it, and that bugs me. He said the only honest thing he could say about me was that I'd go far. That bugged me too.
Anyways, we walked around downtown a bit, went to see Michelle at the Sake House. That was super. She offered me lunch, but for some reason I was feeling anorexic, and liked it. Odd. Today I am hella hungry, though, so I guess I'm making up for it. I just gorged myself on Jello, and now feel happy.
So Ace and I went to A&B Sound so he could buy a CD (or two :P) and waited for Michelle to finish her shift. Finally when she was done, we started heading to her van, and along the way we bumped into Alex! w00t and a half! After that, Michelle gave me a ride home, and I forced Ace to see my new rearranged living room.
Last night I fell asleep around seven PM, or some shiz like that. It was stupid. But I slept excellently, and awoke this morning around seven fifteen feeling chipper, and joyous, so I guess it did it's job.
I've been sunbathing naked on my porch all morning, and let me tell you, it is so fucking hot out today. It's May, and I am perfectly happy in my freezing ass den wearing naught but panties and a shirt done up with one button. :P put that in your pipe and smoke it!
So, in other news, party here this Friday night! Bring booze, and good times shall ensue!
--but if there WERE a race of sentient rogue dinosaur aliens, how would we make contact???
--what was I saying about brontasauri?
The next morning, Amber woke me up at seven AM (urg) to help her catch her bus. Everyone laughed when I walked into the living room, because apparently, I looked tousled, and grumpy. Michelle gave Amber a ride to the bus, and I came with, earning a breakfast sandwich from Brianna's favorite workplace. :) Then everybody left, except for Michelle, who chilled at my place until she had to leave at eleven for work. Courtney discovered her sketchbook, and found a drawing she loved which Michelle gave to her. w00t.
Later, after all had gone home, Courtney and I went to SouthGate Plaza, so she could buy some shiz, and I could look for work. Got an interview today at four, woo-hoo! go me. dropped off resumes at a bunch of places.
At one, I walked home, and gave Ace a call, and we decided to hang out. I made my way to his place, and we walked to Timmies, where he bought me an Ice Cap! awesome! I'd been craving one, h-core. While at Timmies, he bugged me to know who he was on my honest statements, so instead of telling him, I made him write one of his own. He of course had neither the attention span, nor room on the bus schedule to write fifteen, so he only wrote ten.
Here are Ace's Honest Statements:
1) I've never enjoyed being someone's bitch so much. I hope you're right about me.
2) I'll never ever ever stop loving you with all my being.
3) I feel sorry for you, but only because I've been there. You're still pathetic.
4) You are the epitome of striking. It hurts everytime I see you, but I know I'll never be with you. I'm always smiling. (non sequitor much, Ace? jeex)
5)I don't hate you, it's just awkward.
6) You are so awesome, and I know you'll go far. You will forever be a huge part of me and I'll be there for you whenever you need it.
7)Damn you are funny. I've never been more sorry.
8) You truly are amazing. I think you saved me from myself. Thank you, I am forever indebted to you. Why are you so good to me?
9) I wish you didn't drink.
10) You are the biggest influence on me ever. I will be you friend and always comb my hair like yours forever. Thank you.
So, most of the people who wrote honest statements won't get at least half of those. I know them all of course, because I am magnificent. hahahar. The one he wrote for me has a lot of scribble-outs on it, and that bugs me. He said the only honest thing he could say about me was that I'd go far. That bugged me too.
Anyways, we walked around downtown a bit, went to see Michelle at the Sake House. That was super. She offered me lunch, but for some reason I was feeling anorexic, and liked it. Odd. Today I am hella hungry, though, so I guess I'm making up for it. I just gorged myself on Jello, and now feel happy.
So Ace and I went to A&B Sound so he could buy a CD (or two :P) and waited for Michelle to finish her shift. Finally when she was done, we started heading to her van, and along the way we bumped into Alex! w00t and a half! After that, Michelle gave me a ride home, and I forced Ace to see my new rearranged living room.
Last night I fell asleep around seven PM, or some shiz like that. It was stupid. But I slept excellently, and awoke this morning around seven fifteen feeling chipper, and joyous, so I guess it did it's job.
I've been sunbathing naked on my porch all morning, and let me tell you, it is so fucking hot out today. It's May, and I am perfectly happy in my freezing ass den wearing naught but panties and a shirt done up with one button. :P put that in your pipe and smoke it!
So, in other news, party here this Friday night! Bring booze, and good times shall ensue!
Friday, May 12, 2006
Quinn looks HOT!
wow, does my bro ever look tasty in this pic! (objectively speaking, of course!) lol! had to post it to embarrass him! ;D
the one on the right is our girls night! DAMN, we have a lotta fun!
OMG, who hasn't posted in a long time, yeah that would be ME!
so, my laptop is so super excellent! I've been downloading a ton of music on it. Well, maybe not a ton. BVut lots of stuff that I haven't heard in a while cause I didn't have it on a CD. And now I can make my OWN cd's!!!
The last few days have been filled with me forgetting that people were coming over, and then being a preoccupied hostess, lol! Amanda, my BF from elementary school came over yesterday, and I had no idea, until the dog started going ape shit upstairs, while I was messing around on my computer! We hung out--on the computers! Then after she left, Sean came over, expecting to chill and watch movies, cause he always comes over on the weekends to waqtch movies. I ended up torturing him with my freezing hands (from being on the computer all day!) He left when Geoff, and Amber and Brianna came over, and sat in my den--while I downloaded musack on my computer. Geoff and Brianna insulted my taste in my music for a while, while Amber tried to figure out how to get back to Quali. lol! I'm such an unbelievable loser!
I'm going to have to try to stay off of it long enough to clean my room for the girls night this weekend. I'm sooooo excited.
In other updates, I'm going absolutely NUTZ about my lack of a credit card! All I wanna do is buy shiz off the internet, and I can't!!!! RAWR! Oh well. Hopefully Laura McNaught will bring her recipe for that drink thing, and I can lose weight by eating nothign but that (and coffee--cause I wanna) for a long time. It will be cheaper, too! Which is good, because I am so broke.
I don't think I'm going to get any money this summer from Student Loans. So that means I have to get a job. NOW. If any of you have an actual surefire job to offer me, I'll take it! I don't care where it is, or what it is! I will scrub toilets for twelve hours a day, every day for the rest of the summer if it means I'll be able to pay my bills! :( I'm actually really scared about funds in a way I haven't been for quite a while... All this financial insecurity is making my Alberta trip not look so good. Not happy. not happy not happy not happy. I don't even have bus money.
Anyways. That is my life right now. Exciting, hey?
current music --> Bowl of Oranges- Bright Eyes
The last few days have been filled with me forgetting that people were coming over, and then being a preoccupied hostess, lol! Amanda, my BF from elementary school came over yesterday, and I had no idea, until the dog started going ape shit upstairs, while I was messing around on my computer! We hung out--on the computers! Then after she left, Sean came over, expecting to chill and watch movies, cause he always comes over on the weekends to waqtch movies. I ended up torturing him with my freezing hands (from being on the computer all day!) He left when Geoff, and Amber and Brianna came over, and sat in my den--while I downloaded musack on my computer. Geoff and Brianna insulted my taste in my music for a while, while Amber tried to figure out how to get back to Quali. lol! I'm such an unbelievable loser!
I'm going to have to try to stay off of it long enough to clean my room for the girls night this weekend. I'm sooooo excited.
In other updates, I'm going absolutely NUTZ about my lack of a credit card! All I wanna do is buy shiz off the internet, and I can't!!!! RAWR! Oh well. Hopefully Laura McNaught will bring her recipe for that drink thing, and I can lose weight by eating nothign but that (and coffee--cause I wanna) for a long time. It will be cheaper, too! Which is good, because I am so broke.
I don't think I'm going to get any money this summer from Student Loans. So that means I have to get a job. NOW. If any of you have an actual surefire job to offer me, I'll take it! I don't care where it is, or what it is! I will scrub toilets for twelve hours a day, every day for the rest of the summer if it means I'll be able to pay my bills! :( I'm actually really scared about funds in a way I haven't been for quite a while... All this financial insecurity is making my Alberta trip not look so good. Not happy. not happy not happy not happy. I don't even have bus money.
Anyways. That is my life right now. Exciting, hey?
current music --> Bowl of Oranges- Bright Eyes
Monday, May 08, 2006
OMG, who has the, bar none, BEST family in the whole wide world????
YEAH!
that would be ME!
My big bro just sent me a LAPTOP! How fucking cool is that?! It's so pretty, and silver, and fancy, and it has a cd, and dvd drive, and Buck installed Office on it, and I can get wirleless internet and it is SO FUCKING DOPE! And it came with this super awse carrying case, and it is just SO FREAKING EXCELLENT!!!!
Now all I need is the college girl uniform (knee-high leather boots, a calf-length skirt, and some form of sweater) and I will be a true College Pinto!!!!
w00t for me!!!!
that would be ME!
My big bro just sent me a LAPTOP! How fucking cool is that?! It's so pretty, and silver, and fancy, and it has a cd, and dvd drive, and Buck installed Office on it, and I can get wirleless internet and it is SO FUCKING DOPE! And it came with this super awse carrying case, and it is just SO FREAKING EXCELLENT!!!!
Now all I need is the college girl uniform (knee-high leather boots, a calf-length skirt, and some form of sweater) and I will be a true College Pinto!!!!
w00t for me!!!!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
progress report
so, I thought I should document how my self-improvement thingie is going, seeing as I have seen some minor (but heartening) changes.
1) recover from mom's death
well, this one is developing. I'm not, as of yet, in therapy. I don't know when that will happen. Someone might have to give me a good kick in the ass to go do it. But lately, I haven't been feeling overly fucked up, so I think I'm going to wait until I have a particularly bad few weeks before I do so.
Crying, well meh. I seem to have this really bad bottling problem. As of yet, I've only had one really good cry about her, since that original post. The problem is, I don't let myself think about it. I'm constantly thinking about my life, not the cessation of hers. I guess I'm a little egocentric. And by a little, I mean A LOT. Even when something (a movie, a song) reminds me of it, I'll actively supress it. Bad bad actor! You're supposed to be using this so that when you think of it, you start crying instantly! I can use this, so why not?
2) feel happier while single (which kind of turned into 'hang out with more people')
this one, I'm having lots of progress on! I still check guys out, and it's not like I'm closed for business, or anything, but I've stopped feeling lonely at night, and I'm actually starting to get over Ace! I really really think I am! He ditched me yesetrday, and I only thought about it for maybe ten minutes! Then it was expunged from my system after I tripped on a curb in front of a cute boy in a car, who then started laughing hysterically at me... :( after that I was too busy being mortified for any mooning! lol! I'm going the kill him by kindness by bringing him a turkey sandwich today (Ace, not the boy in the car) just because I feel like doing something nice for someone, and because it'll get me the shit-fuck out of the house! lol!
What I'm noticing, is the extreme problem of horniness...bad bad news. I did something very undignified in Vancouver because of this, that I don't regret per se, but bothers me a lot. Nothing scandalous, or terrible, it just bugs me. My standards are hurting. (not that (*) is beneath my standards! I *heart* you a lot!) By standards, I mean, I should be holding my head over water even with this, not just trying to seduce people because they're safe. That's what I meant by standards, (*). This is something that is going to have to be fixed. And really, there is only one way to solve being in heat: either do somebody (out, unless the circumstances are good); or learn to live without it (something I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to have to do. :(:(:( lol!) So, as far as item 2, goes, me and my mojo are next on the list for being 'fixed.'
As for the 'hang out with more people' part of number 2, I am doing well with this one! I haven't gotten to everybody on that really long list from the last post, but I am working my way through! And I keep meeting friedns of these friends I keep hanging out wiht, which is excellent! It expands my options! Good good good.
3) work out
ha! that's a laugh! I feel happy if I get my ass on my feet long enough to walk to Harewood Mall. plus, no progress with that excersize video. PLEASE! Someone help me with that! I just need a credit card! :(
4) focus on my career
not going particularly excellently. I'm supposed to be out looking for work right now (both acting work, and actual work) and I'm doing neither. Get your ASS IN GEAR!
end of progress report. It's not amazing, but I'm working my way through, and that's all I'm supposed to do, right? Also, those guessing games from the past couple weeks have arisen a need in me to take a long strong look at my personality, and try and figure out my gross, and get rid of it. Readfing those statements made me so scared, thinking, is that what these people really think about me? I figure if I make an effort not to be those undesirable things, than those statements will be much less scary! I mean, come on, someone like Meghan would never be scared reading those, because she's very real and down-to-earth, and would know which statements apply to her, and which wouldn't. I mean, no one could ever call Meghan loud and crude! (one of the statements I'm scared is about me) So, the plan is, I get rid of the garbage, and I'll know I've succeeded when I'm not terrified reading those statements anymore.
So. This is the plan. It's doing alright. I hope I make it. :)
1) recover from mom's death
well, this one is developing. I'm not, as of yet, in therapy. I don't know when that will happen. Someone might have to give me a good kick in the ass to go do it. But lately, I haven't been feeling overly fucked up, so I think I'm going to wait until I have a particularly bad few weeks before I do so.
Crying, well meh. I seem to have this really bad bottling problem. As of yet, I've only had one really good cry about her, since that original post. The problem is, I don't let myself think about it. I'm constantly thinking about my life, not the cessation of hers. I guess I'm a little egocentric. And by a little, I mean A LOT. Even when something (a movie, a song) reminds me of it, I'll actively supress it. Bad bad actor! You're supposed to be using this so that when you think of it, you start crying instantly! I can use this, so why not?
2) feel happier while single (which kind of turned into 'hang out with more people')
this one, I'm having lots of progress on! I still check guys out, and it's not like I'm closed for business, or anything, but I've stopped feeling lonely at night, and I'm actually starting to get over Ace! I really really think I am! He ditched me yesetrday, and I only thought about it for maybe ten minutes! Then it was expunged from my system after I tripped on a curb in front of a cute boy in a car, who then started laughing hysterically at me... :( after that I was too busy being mortified for any mooning! lol! I'm going the kill him by kindness by bringing him a turkey sandwich today (Ace, not the boy in the car) just because I feel like doing something nice for someone, and because it'll get me the shit-fuck out of the house! lol!
What I'm noticing, is the extreme problem of horniness...bad bad news. I did something very undignified in Vancouver because of this, that I don't regret per se, but bothers me a lot. Nothing scandalous, or terrible, it just bugs me. My standards are hurting. (not that (*) is beneath my standards! I *heart* you a lot!) By standards, I mean, I should be holding my head over water even with this, not just trying to seduce people because they're safe. That's what I meant by standards, (*). This is something that is going to have to be fixed. And really, there is only one way to solve being in heat: either do somebody (out, unless the circumstances are good); or learn to live without it (something I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to have to do. :(:(:( lol!) So, as far as item 2, goes, me and my mojo are next on the list for being 'fixed.'
As for the 'hang out with more people' part of number 2, I am doing well with this one! I haven't gotten to everybody on that really long list from the last post, but I am working my way through! And I keep meeting friedns of these friends I keep hanging out wiht, which is excellent! It expands my options! Good good good.
3) work out
ha! that's a laugh! I feel happy if I get my ass on my feet long enough to walk to Harewood Mall. plus, no progress with that excersize video. PLEASE! Someone help me with that! I just need a credit card! :(
4) focus on my career
not going particularly excellently. I'm supposed to be out looking for work right now (both acting work, and actual work) and I'm doing neither. Get your ASS IN GEAR!
end of progress report. It's not amazing, but I'm working my way through, and that's all I'm supposed to do, right? Also, those guessing games from the past couple weeks have arisen a need in me to take a long strong look at my personality, and try and figure out my gross, and get rid of it. Readfing those statements made me so scared, thinking, is that what these people really think about me? I figure if I make an effort not to be those undesirable things, than those statements will be much less scary! I mean, come on, someone like Meghan would never be scared reading those, because she's very real and down-to-earth, and would know which statements apply to her, and which wouldn't. I mean, no one could ever call Meghan loud and crude! (one of the statements I'm scared is about me) So, the plan is, I get rid of the garbage, and I'll know I've succeeded when I'm not terrified reading those statements anymore.
So. This is the plan. It's doing alright. I hope I make it. :)
Friday, May 05, 2006
hokay
so, I've chilled with some friends, talked with a bud and sorted some shiz out which makes some things a lot easier, and had a super-great wrestling type time today with ppl I don't ordinarily see very often! That beign said, I'm still bored as hell,a nd don't have all that much to say, so I'm going to continue the guesssing game, and do a few more people who I felt bad about leaving out on the first one. it'll entertain me, and give you something new to read! everyone's happy!
1) I hope you turn out to be all that you seem. I hope you're not getting in too far over your head, considering that it's pretty unorthodox situation you're in. All I have to say is: you're welcome to stay, and if you hurt her, I'll kill you. :) *loves*!
2) I don't seem to have all that much to say to you anymore. Which is a shame, considering I value your friendship very much. You have some serious growing to do as a person, and I want you to know I'm here for you whenever you need me--that is, IF you need me.
3) I think you're great, and I wanna become better friends with you. That being said, you need to mature your actions and behavior a little more to get what you want out of life,a dn to get a little more respect from your peers. Don't worry, I believe in you. I think you'll blow us all away, when you succeed.
4) I have such a great time with you! We have great talks, have stuff in common, and I think you're a wonderful person. I hope next year, we can grow on that. :)
5) wow...you're certainly something else. I don't think I've ever encountered an ego quite so encompassing, or as oblivious as yours. Open your eyes, and you'll do fine. Until that happens, you may be doomed.
6) I don't know if what you feel is genuine, or is coming from some kind of insecurity issue, but you need to stop thinking that way about me. You're great, but you're not the one for me. I'm really sorry, but you're not any one for me.
7) You are fake. You are unoriginal, untalented, and gross to boot. I hate that you were involved with someone so close to me, and I hope to never have to deal with you again. You better watch out, because one of these days you're going to push me past what I'm willing to put up with.
8) I wish I knew how you felt about me. I have no complaints about the way you treat me, I just wish we had a more genuine friendship. I'd love to be close to you.
9) What a great dude! You'll go so far in life, just because of your amazing attitude! Your coolness and positiveness is something I aspire to.
10) No one can say enough great things about you! I think you're excellent! I do kind of wonder what's going on underneath all that wonderful, though. You're an enigma, wrapped in a gorgeous human being.
11) Wow, you're complicated. For you it's not, 'what to say?', but 'how to say it?' I think you are talented, driven, and bound for success. I also think you're anal, self-destructive, and more than a little bit scary. I doubt this will help you in your career, and it's sure not going to win very much love from those around you. Calm down a little. That being said, I really dislike why you hate me. I feel like you've judged me unfairly, and I don't know why. Try not to forget that I didn't make this mess by myself. Or are you just content to place all the blame on me? If that's so, why? Are you scared of losing someone who you KNOW genuinely likes you for who you are? Or are you just that cruel, and tunnelvisioned, and dislike me just that much? If it's the second, and you really have always hated me, why did you pretend to be my friend? You confuse me a lot, and I hate it, because underneath all that scary, I think you're probably a really wonderful person.
12) Sometimes you confuse me, and then you make things all clear again. Then you confuse me all over again. It's infuriating, and yet endearing. You are so cool and nice and talented, I wish you all that life has to offer. And be mean to me all you want. Just don't forget that while I may not need it...everyone likes a little babying once in a while! ;)
13) I just can't pin you. Maybe it's because of who you are, and how great you seem, but I just can't decide what you really think about me. Rumours that have been passed my way don't help matters any, and I'd like to think that you're above the kind of nonesense I've heard you being accused of. But--what do I know? We've never been close. And somehow, I doubt we ever will be. *shrug* And that's ok, with me.
14) You're super-cool! And classy, in a dignified, respectful way. I like that about you. I don't like that I can't pin you either. Maybe that's just my own insecurity talking. whatev.
15) You are crazy. Plain and simple. Missing a few screws. One egg shy of an omelette. Not the most stable top in the toy box. You need to get over your insecurity. Why should I have to deal with it? It's your bag, sweetie. And you've gotta deal with it.
1) I hope you turn out to be all that you seem. I hope you're not getting in too far over your head, considering that it's pretty unorthodox situation you're in. All I have to say is: you're welcome to stay, and if you hurt her, I'll kill you. :) *loves*!
2) I don't seem to have all that much to say to you anymore. Which is a shame, considering I value your friendship very much. You have some serious growing to do as a person, and I want you to know I'm here for you whenever you need me--that is, IF you need me.
3) I think you're great, and I wanna become better friends with you. That being said, you need to mature your actions and behavior a little more to get what you want out of life,a dn to get a little more respect from your peers. Don't worry, I believe in you. I think you'll blow us all away, when you succeed.
4) I have such a great time with you! We have great talks, have stuff in common, and I think you're a wonderful person. I hope next year, we can grow on that. :)
5) wow...you're certainly something else. I don't think I've ever encountered an ego quite so encompassing, or as oblivious as yours. Open your eyes, and you'll do fine. Until that happens, you may be doomed.
6) I don't know if what you feel is genuine, or is coming from some kind of insecurity issue, but you need to stop thinking that way about me. You're great, but you're not the one for me. I'm really sorry, but you're not any one for me.
7) You are fake. You are unoriginal, untalented, and gross to boot. I hate that you were involved with someone so close to me, and I hope to never have to deal with you again. You better watch out, because one of these days you're going to push me past what I'm willing to put up with.
8) I wish I knew how you felt about me. I have no complaints about the way you treat me, I just wish we had a more genuine friendship. I'd love to be close to you.
9) What a great dude! You'll go so far in life, just because of your amazing attitude! Your coolness and positiveness is something I aspire to.
10) No one can say enough great things about you! I think you're excellent! I do kind of wonder what's going on underneath all that wonderful, though. You're an enigma, wrapped in a gorgeous human being.
11) Wow, you're complicated. For you it's not, 'what to say?', but 'how to say it?' I think you are talented, driven, and bound for success. I also think you're anal, self-destructive, and more than a little bit scary. I doubt this will help you in your career, and it's sure not going to win very much love from those around you. Calm down a little. That being said, I really dislike why you hate me. I feel like you've judged me unfairly, and I don't know why. Try not to forget that I didn't make this mess by myself. Or are you just content to place all the blame on me? If that's so, why? Are you scared of losing someone who you KNOW genuinely likes you for who you are? Or are you just that cruel, and tunnelvisioned, and dislike me just that much? If it's the second, and you really have always hated me, why did you pretend to be my friend? You confuse me a lot, and I hate it, because underneath all that scary, I think you're probably a really wonderful person.
12) Sometimes you confuse me, and then you make things all clear again. Then you confuse me all over again. It's infuriating, and yet endearing. You are so cool and nice and talented, I wish you all that life has to offer. And be mean to me all you want. Just don't forget that while I may not need it...everyone likes a little babying once in a while! ;)
13) I just can't pin you. Maybe it's because of who you are, and how great you seem, but I just can't decide what you really think about me. Rumours that have been passed my way don't help matters any, and I'd like to think that you're above the kind of nonesense I've heard you being accused of. But--what do I know? We've never been close. And somehow, I doubt we ever will be. *shrug* And that's ok, with me.
14) You're super-cool! And classy, in a dignified, respectful way. I like that about you. I don't like that I can't pin you either. Maybe that's just my own insecurity talking. whatev.
15) You are crazy. Plain and simple. Missing a few screws. One egg shy of an omelette. Not the most stable top in the toy box. You need to get over your insecurity. Why should I have to deal with it? It's your bag, sweetie. And you've gotta deal with it.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
scared
All these nameless opinion posts that keep popping up make me nervous. I love that we can get those unmentioned feelings and opinions out, but on a personal level, it scares the pee out of me! I love pretty much everyone I hang out with and see everyday, and most of the people who I don't see every day. That being said, of course there's things that bug me about people, and that little game was nice to get it out and off my chest. I think that's true for everyone who did it. But it still scares me a lot. What if all those angry egotistical loud crude comments were about me? I could see it. All I can ask is if those of you who read this blog posted an "unimpressed" comment about me, please email me privately, and tell me what you dislike about me. Cause that's the only way I'll be able to change those unsavory qualities, really.
When it comes right down to it, I *heart* all of you a whole lot, even when you piss me off sometimes. There are very few people I truly truly hate. And I would hate to think that anyone I respect, admire, like, whatever, thinks I'm a tool. Never forget that the bad about everybody is like garbage. It's meant to be gotten rid of.
Anyways. Sunshine, and rainbows for all. blech. :)
When it comes right down to it, I *heart* all of you a whole lot, even when you piss me off sometimes. There are very few people I truly truly hate. And I would hate to think that anyone I respect, admire, like, whatever, thinks I'm a tool. Never forget that the bad about everybody is like garbage. It's meant to be gotten rid of.
Anyways. Sunshine, and rainbows for all. blech. :)
guess who?
this looks like fun. I shall play too. :)
1) I wish you saw things more the way I do. Then we could probably be happy. I miss you so much.
2) When you grow up, we will do amazing things. Until then, we have some great memories.
3) Where did you go? You helped me discover and become the person I am; you were there for me at all the worst moments in my life, despite any hardships it created for you. And you helped create most of the very best memories I'm blessed to have. Why then have you been sucked out of my life so completely? I miss you more than anyone, possibly including even my mother.
4) GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME! leave, and never come back.
5)I love you so much! We have the best times ever, and I'm so happy that we've grown even closer than we were before. I'm going to enjoy watching you become an amazing woman.
6) I hope we grow closer to each other. I've always admired you and found you to be a great friend. You're one of my favorite people and I want us to be really good friends.
7) I wish I could say that I love you the way you are, but really I only kind of enjoy you the way you are. If I was a person-maker, I would change a lot of things about you. But I still like you. *hugs*
8) I'm glad you don't hate me anymore.
9) I admire you so much. I aspire to become you, except an actress. And even more successful.
10) I wish things had worked out between us. You will make such an incredible partner for someone. I'm sad it wasn't me. But at the same time, I've lost a romantic interest, and gained an amazingly funny, talented, forgiving friend. If I had to classify our relationship in one word, it would be bittersweet.
11) I like you a LOT! I want us to become good friends, because you are funny, and adorable, and a super-good cuddler! ;D
12) I want you to be honest with me. I want us to be more than just friends. If you don't, that's fine, but don't you dare play me. That's the way to ruin our already-valued friendship.
13) Will you five marry me?
14) I think you are talented, but your ego is unbelievably inflated. Get rid of that, realize what your actual talents are, stop stepping on toes, and you will have an amazing career. I will see you at the Oscars, but not for acting, so stop thinking you're better than me.
15) I miss you. No matter what happens, darling, you are always welcome among us, and I will give you anything you need. I would give anything to see you grow up well-adjusted. Never think that any siblings you end up with replace you in our eyes, because it's not true. You will always have a place among this gigantic, ridiculous, dysfunctional family that is us. Your grandmother, your aunts and uncles, your great grandparents, your cousins, and especially your father, and (maybe) step-mother all love you so much, and pray that you will be able to know us as you grow up.
Ya.
Dat was fun. :)
1) I wish you saw things more the way I do. Then we could probably be happy. I miss you so much.
2) When you grow up, we will do amazing things. Until then, we have some great memories.
3) Where did you go? You helped me discover and become the person I am; you were there for me at all the worst moments in my life, despite any hardships it created for you. And you helped create most of the very best memories I'm blessed to have. Why then have you been sucked out of my life so completely? I miss you more than anyone, possibly including even my mother.
4) GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME! leave, and never come back.
5)I love you so much! We have the best times ever, and I'm so happy that we've grown even closer than we were before. I'm going to enjoy watching you become an amazing woman.
6) I hope we grow closer to each other. I've always admired you and found you to be a great friend. You're one of my favorite people and I want us to be really good friends.
7) I wish I could say that I love you the way you are, but really I only kind of enjoy you the way you are. If I was a person-maker, I would change a lot of things about you. But I still like you. *hugs*
8) I'm glad you don't hate me anymore.
9) I admire you so much. I aspire to become you, except an actress. And even more successful.
10) I wish things had worked out between us. You will make such an incredible partner for someone. I'm sad it wasn't me. But at the same time, I've lost a romantic interest, and gained an amazingly funny, talented, forgiving friend. If I had to classify our relationship in one word, it would be bittersweet.
11) I like you a LOT! I want us to become good friends, because you are funny, and adorable, and a super-good cuddler! ;D
12) I want you to be honest with me. I want us to be more than just friends. If you don't, that's fine, but don't you dare play me. That's the way to ruin our already-valued friendship.
13) Will you five marry me?
14) I think you are talented, but your ego is unbelievably inflated. Get rid of that, realize what your actual talents are, stop stepping on toes, and you will have an amazing career. I will see you at the Oscars, but not for acting, so stop thinking you're better than me.
15) I miss you. No matter what happens, darling, you are always welcome among us, and I will give you anything you need. I would give anything to see you grow up well-adjusted. Never think that any siblings you end up with replace you in our eyes, because it's not true. You will always have a place among this gigantic, ridiculous, dysfunctional family that is us. Your grandmother, your aunts and uncles, your great grandparents, your cousins, and especially your father, and (maybe) step-mother all love you so much, and pray that you will be able to know us as you grow up.
Ya.
Dat was fun. :)
OMIGODFranzFerdinandwasAMAZING!!!! (oh, and Vancouver was cool, too)
I JUST GOT BACK FROM VANCOUVER AND I HAD THE BEST TIME EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I went to Vancouver on Tuesday night, had dinner at Congee noodle house, then slept in my buddy's dorm at UBC, then the next day, I went to Stanley Park, and climbed up a gigantic tree, and then met my friend from Van whom I've never met before, and we went adventuring in downtown Van, and stole three ten-dollar elevator rides up this elevator that has glass walls so that you can see all of Vancouver, and then I went back to said dorm room, and then the next day, we went back to Stanley Park, and me and Brianna went to the aquarium, where we got pictures taken, and then we went to Tinseltown, where we explored a gigantic mall, and had dinner at this cute cafe off of Water Street where there's a Steam Clock, which is sweet, and then we went to see American Dreamz at Tinseltown, which frickin hilarious! And then we went to this UBC party at Rec beach where we sat around this bonfire, and sang songs with this cute boy from Montreal named Connely, and I sang Lord I Know I Been Changed by myself, and everybody who was around cheered a lot for me! Which was superduper! And then I went back to my friend Llowyn's house where I slept and the next morning, we got up and picked up Brianna who almost got laid, but didn't, and then me and Llowyn went to Science World, where I fit into this tiny foot and a half square box, and then we went on this ferry ride for free (because Llowyn works for them) and went to Granville Island, where we explored this Kid's Market, and then caught a bus all by ourselves to the PACIFIC COLISEUM WHERE WE SAW FRANZ FERDINAND LIVE IN CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL MARRY THEM ALL!!!!!
This was my Vancouver trip. It was small, and emo, but still good. Ya. Still good. (lol, Brianna!)
I went to Vancouver on Tuesday night, had dinner at Congee noodle house, then slept in my buddy's dorm at UBC, then the next day, I went to Stanley Park, and climbed up a gigantic tree, and then met my friend from Van whom I've never met before, and we went adventuring in downtown Van, and stole three ten-dollar elevator rides up this elevator that has glass walls so that you can see all of Vancouver, and then I went back to said dorm room, and then the next day, we went back to Stanley Park, and me and Brianna went to the aquarium, where we got pictures taken, and then we went to Tinseltown, where we explored a gigantic mall, and had dinner at this cute cafe off of Water Street where there's a Steam Clock, which is sweet, and then we went to see American Dreamz at Tinseltown, which frickin hilarious! And then we went to this UBC party at Rec beach where we sat around this bonfire, and sang songs with this cute boy from Montreal named Connely, and I sang Lord I Know I Been Changed by myself, and everybody who was around cheered a lot for me! Which was superduper! And then I went back to my friend Llowyn's house where I slept and the next morning, we got up and picked up Brianna who almost got laid, but didn't, and then me and Llowyn went to Science World, where I fit into this tiny foot and a half square box, and then we went on this ferry ride for free (because Llowyn works for them) and went to Granville Island, where we explored this Kid's Market, and then caught a bus all by ourselves to the PACIFIC COLISEUM WHERE WE SAW FRANZ FERDINAND LIVE IN CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL MARRY THEM ALL!!!!!
This was my Vancouver trip. It was small, and emo, but still good. Ya. Still good. (lol, Brianna!)
Monday, May 01, 2006
guess who!
this looks like fun. I shall play too. :)
1) I wish you saw things more the way I do. Then we could probably be happy. I miss you so much.
2) When you grow up, we will do amazing things. Until then, we have some great memories.
3) Where did you go? You helped me discover and become the person I am; you were there for me at all the worst moments in my life, despite any hardships it created for you. And you helped create most of the very best memories I'm blessed to have. Why then have you been sucked out of my life so completely? I miss you more than anyone, possibly including even my mother.
4) GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME! leave, and never come back.
5)I love you so much! We have the best times ever, and I'm so happy that we've grown even closer than we were before. I'm going to enjoy watching you become an amazing woman.
6) I hope we grow closer to each other. I've always admired you and found you to be a great friend. You're one of my favorite people and I want us to be really good friends.
7) I wish I could say that I love you the way you are, but really I only kind of enjoy you the way you are. If I was a person-maker, I would change a lot of things about you. But I still like you. *hugs*
8) I'm glad you don't hate me anymore.
9) I admire you so much. I aspire to become you, except an actress. And even more successful.
10) I wish things had worked out between us. You will make such an incredible partner for someone. I'm sad it wasn't me. But at the same time, I've lost a romantic interest, and gained an amazingly funny, talented, forgiving friend. If I had to classify our relationship in one word, it would be bittersweet.
11) I like you a LOT! I want us to become good friends, because you are funny, and adorable, and a super-good cuddler! ;D
12) I want you to be honest with me. I want us to be more than just friends. If you don't, that's fine, but don't you dare play me. That's the way to ruin our already-valued friendship.
13) Will you five marry me?
14) I think you are talented, but your ego is unbelievably inflated. Get rid of that, realize what your actual talents are, stop stepping on toes, and you will have an amazing career. I will see you at the Oscars, but not for acting, so stop thinking you're better than me.
15) I miss you. No matter what happens, darling, you are always welcome among us, and I will give you anything you need. I would give anything to see you grow up well-adjusted. Never think that any siblings you end up with replace you in our eyes, because it's not true. You will always have a place among this gigantic, ridiculous, dysfunctional family that is us. Your grandmother, your aunts and uncles, your great grandparents, your cousins, and especially your father, and (maybe) step-mother all love you so much, and pray that you will be able to know us as you grow up.
Ya.
Dat was fun. :)
1) I wish you saw things more the way I do. Then we could probably be happy. I miss you so much.
2) When you grow up, we will do amazing things. Until then, we have some great memories.
3) Where did you go? You helped me discover and become the person I am; you were there for me at all the worst moments in my life, despite any hardships it created for you. And you helped create most of the very best memories I'm blessed to have. Why then have you been sucked out of my life so completely? I miss you more than anyone, possibly including even my mother.
4) GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME! leave, and never come back.
5)I love you so much! We have the best times ever, and I'm so happy that we've grown even closer than we were before. I'm going to enjoy watching you become an amazing woman.
6) I hope we grow closer to each other. I've always admired you and found you to be a great friend. You're one of my favorite people and I want us to be really good friends.
7) I wish I could say that I love you the way you are, but really I only kind of enjoy you the way you are. If I was a person-maker, I would change a lot of things about you. But I still like you. *hugs*
8) I'm glad you don't hate me anymore.
9) I admire you so much. I aspire to become you, except an actress. And even more successful.
10) I wish things had worked out between us. You will make such an incredible partner for someone. I'm sad it wasn't me. But at the same time, I've lost a romantic interest, and gained an amazingly funny, talented, forgiving friend. If I had to classify our relationship in one word, it would be bittersweet.
11) I like you a LOT! I want us to become good friends, because you are funny, and adorable, and a super-good cuddler! ;D
12) I want you to be honest with me. I want us to be more than just friends. If you don't, that's fine, but don't you dare play me. That's the way to ruin our already-valued friendship.
13) Will you five marry me?
14) I think you are talented, but your ego is unbelievably inflated. Get rid of that, realize what your actual talents are, stop stepping on toes, and you will have an amazing career. I will see you at the Oscars, but not for acting, so stop thinking you're better than me.
15) I miss you. No matter what happens, darling, you are always welcome among us, and I will give you anything you need. I would give anything to see you grow up well-adjusted. Never think that any siblings you end up with replace you in our eyes, because it's not true. You will always have a place among this gigantic, ridiculous, dysfunctional family that is us. Your grandmother, your aunts and uncles, your great grandparents, your cousins, and especially your father, and (maybe) step-mother all love you so much, and pray that you will be able to know us as you grow up.
Ya.
Dat was fun. :)
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