My patience with you is GONE.
You are immature. You are spoiled. You are rude. You are a control freak. You are mean, and self-centred, and I am FUCKING SICK OF DEALING WITH IT!!!!!!
You think you can just DELETE what we say that you don't like? Grow some fucking balls and own up to what you do that is wrong! How dare you censor me with your super-wonderful MOD powers!!! Just because I said something that you don't want to hear, you cover it up as if it never happened. Well, guess what? You can't censor me here! And everyone who reads this is going to read your attitude towards me today. Which I cannot handle any more.
Me, Kaitlyn, Jill and Davies were in a CAR ACCIDENT today! No, no one was hurt, thank god, but when the hell did blood and guts make for the only car accident that means anything? And for that matter when was the last time you gave a shit about me being hurt? You make jokes about me, and everything I have done/gone through everyday all day long and you can't even fucking tell when it actually HURTS! You insensitive prick.
And then you have the balls to be pissed off when Kaitlyn and I won't do what you want us do on your command? You know what, if you want Barbie dolls, we'll get you some, because I sure as hell am not your play toy to be ordered about by you!
And because you thought I was rude to your family (when it wasn't even me for god sakes) you come home, insult everything me and Kaitlyn have done and then go hide in your room! WHAT THE HELL!
I called you first when we were in that accident, because I thought that you might be able to stop thinking about yourself long enough to give a shit about your roommates safety. Obviously I was wrong. I just never knew you were that selfish and pigheaded as to come home and completely ignore us.
WHAT THE FUCK DID WE DO???? NOTHING!!!!!!
NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING!!!!!!!!! WE WERE ALWAYS YOUR FRIEND!~!!!! WE DID WHAT YOU WANTED WHETHER OR NOT WE WANTED TO!!! WE LET YOU HAVE YOUR WAY WITH EVERYTHING !!!!! AND THE MINUTE SOMETHING HAPPENS THAT DOESN'T DIRECTLY INVOLVE YOU, you fucking let us down.
I cannot believe you.
Monday, November 27, 2006
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13 comments:
alleah,.. i didnt know all the details about the accident because you didnt tell me... all i knew was you wanted to talk to geoff when i tried to talk to you
so as far as I knew... no one was hurt... nothing went wrong... someone was rude to my cousin
THATS ALL I KNEW
when i came home I was tired... see what happens when someone goes out all day and tries to be active.. they get tired and sore and want to go to bed.
As for the forum... personal fights of AKA house doesnt need to be posted for all those people to see... they dont know us... and i dont want them sticking their nose into our business... i dont know about you but i like to keep controversy behond closed doors.
thank you for finally telling me off... i can tell you it didnt come to much shock. I already knew exactly how you thought of me because I am not stupid...
and for someone who didnt care... well then i guess you dont pay attention enough to the things i have done...
but one thing to clear up alleah... since i had no details about the accident since you were too concerend about geoff than to let me know what happened... can you recall my first words after you told me what happened? "IS ANYONE HURT?"
but i got offended once you didnt want to tell me what was going on... I screamed on the phone because I snow fell on me then i fell out into the snow...and as far as i knew... IT WASNT A HUGE ACCIDENT!!!! So what did i do after that? I went to my family... because i hadnt seen them in a LONG TIME and I had made promises to my aunt to be there.
Sorry that for once I was there for my family instead of you.
Don't you even DARE make a catty remark about being out all day. Alleah and I have shows and we hang out with other people all the time. You're the only one who complains about not doing enough. just because we wont walk to 7/11 with you doesn't mean we a relazy and don't ever do anything. I am plenty busy, thank you very much.
And we never once said we expected you to come hold our hand. It was the coming home and being an instant bitch that pissed us off! For christ's sake! And on top of that, you bitch to us about cleaning (which by the way, I'm the only one who takes out the garbage and I've been picking up YOUR slurpee cups for weeks now) and when we spend our ENTIRE afternoon cleaning the house you don't say a word about it! Then you turn around and start being catty, and storm around the house in a huff for GOD KNOWS whatever reason and then go hide in your room.
And the reason she wanted to talk to Geoff was because she was TRYING to find us a ride into town, or at least back to Kylan's so the four of us didn't have to stand in the freezing cold snow in the middle of the road.
I didn't need you to run to my side and hold my hand, I needed you to understand what I was feeling. Car accidents = shock. I was in it. Kaitlyn was in it. I said things before thinking about it, because all I could think of was the task at hand, and that was getting a ride for me and Kaitlyn and some help for Jordan.
Amber I've been trying to be a friend to you. But I haven't been feeling like I get it back. I feel really walked on. Pretty much all the time. I think you need to understand how I feel. I just hope you can look at what I wrote from my point of view and understand. That;s all I want to come out of this post.
i dont know anything...
i have been picking up my own slurpee cups too kaitlyn
who cleaned the living room and the bathroom the other day
then gave in and did dishes... something i DESPISE doing.
dont start saying I do not pull my own weight around.
and oh yes i forgot... im not as busy as you two are i?
what's that kaitlyn? you havent got any time? but you have plenty of time to be on your computer...
DONT BRING UP THE FRIGGIN SLURPEES BECAUSE ITS NOT ABOUT THE TRIPS TO SEVVIE!!!
This is about something completely different... but whatever ignore me... just please.. pretend i am not here for like... the week... please
and kaitlyn... why are you thinking that everything i say is CATTY
CANT YOU THINK OF ME TALKING IN ANY OTHER TONE
because nothing I am saying is being catty except for the computer remark
Oh for christ sake Amber, I never said you didn't clean at all. Fuck, why do you ALWAYS take everything out of context and make yourself a victim?
And I am on my computer at night. When I like to sit and relax. I have rehersals and work op all day, and I'll stick around the theatre and hang out with people. I never fucking said I don't have time. I said I don't COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING BORED!
For FUCKS SAKE AMBER!!!! You have completely worn out my patience! I am probably one of the few people who actually take you seriously anymore! I have tried and TRIED to be a good friend to you, but all I get back is bullshit! Everything I say or do you turn into a personal attack and you freak out and scream and make bitchy remarks. I don't deserve to be treated like this! I'm SICK of it! And now, the second you get confronted, you run and hide in your room and act all wounded and innocent, and now again, you're saying you want us to ignore you? Like that will solve anything!!! It's not just going to blow over Amber! For fuck's sake, GROW UP!!!!
I AM NOT HIDING IN MY ROOM
IM RELAXING HERE READING FUCKING HARRY POTTER AND CHATTING TO WAYNE
I WANTED TO LIE DOWN SINCE I HURT MY BACK WHEN I FELL ON THE ICE!!
jesus, if you want me out there right now i will come out there.. heck let's bring our dueling pistols...
geeze...
im not trying to start anything... i am not making myself into the victim... im trying to explain myself and comprehend how you think i dont care about you guys,... well fuck it believe what you want to believe... because i know what is true and what isnt.
and what did you confront me about?
NOTHING!!!
IF YOU WANTED TO TALK YOU WOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING!!!
you never said a word to me except about the lovely face masks guys did when i commented on the weird smell in the house!
and i forgot to mention the thing about being ignored
BECAUSE I NEED TO BE AWAY FROM YOU GUYS FOR ONE WEEK!!
i just... need it... please
i need time to myself... thats why i want to be in my room, its the only place I can think by myself without being self concious of what you guys are thinking..
DO YOU NOT SEE THIS HAS COME ABOUT BECAUSE WE ARE AROUND EACHOTHER ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!
I CANT TAKE IT>!! i just need a break... i need to take a breather and relax and not talk to you guys at home... i will be civil at school... but i just... need to have some solitude... just for a week and gather myself
On a lighter note, SNOW DAY! **Runs in throwing confetti... runs out**
Okay, you came home, I said hi and you COMPLETELY ignored me and proceeded to say the house smelled weird. We asked you what kind of smell it was cuz we did the face masks and you started being a bitch and ranting about whatever the fuck tangent you got off on, bitched at Alleah for sitting on your couch, then stormed into your room.
And for the record, we wanted to wait for you to do the masks, but last time I suggested we do it you freaked at us saying how you don't like them cuz they make your skin all tight. So DON'T EVEN hold that against us. (And yes, you did freak. You raised your voice and talked to us in that condecending, annoyed manner that you so often get when we tell you are freaking)
And why the FUCK are you self-consious around us? Why do you think everything we say or do is an attack or some sort of subtle insult?? We've been over this! IT'S NOT! You told me I'm one of the few people you trust, well I haven't been seeing that! If you don't trust my actions and words, then you don't trust me. And before you bring up your past, I already fucking know what the issue is. And you already know my opinion on it, because sure as hell, I've told you. Alleah has told you. I have no idea if you actually listened, but we've told you.
honestly Amber! Me and Kaitlyn are not trying to gang up on you! We're not trying to take your insecurities and use them to ur advantage.
We're just trying to get you to stop freaking out at us! And before you try and defend yourself, saying that's just how my voice is, try and look at it from somebody else's point of view. No matter what we say, you snap at us! We can't win with you! Not even when we're trying to be nice to you! I ask if you want me to get you some juice while I'm up, or make some dinner for you while I'm up,and you speak to me as if I'm the densest retard in the world and the answer I should have just known from the start is written on your forehead!
Guess what, Amber? IT'S NOT! I don't read your mind, I don't memorize your likes and dislikes, and when I'm trying to be NICE to you, I sure as hell don't deserve to be snapped at!
And maybe you don't think you're snapping. Well, before you automatically defend yourself on this one, STOP, take a step back, and a long hard look at what you were about to say.
I know I've told you to do this before. I'll probably have to tell you this again. And if you think you can overcome your problems without doing this, you are wrong. I have been through this exact thing before, and you DO have to do exactly what I described, think really really hard about what you're about to say.
Can't you see Amber? I'm trying to HELP you! But help isn't always exactly what you want to hear, and it's time you grew up and realized that!
you guys are making assumptions too
kaitlyn m'dear.. I am not at all angry you did the face masks without me... is it because i added the words LOVELY in it that you thought i was being catty and bitchy? is it wrong to say Lovely before somehting without you guys reading it as a sarcstic or catty tone?
what does you guys telling me all the shit that is wrong with me got to do with trusting your words and actions... I KNOW YOU ARE RIGHT
ARE YOU GUYS HAPPY!?
I am a spoiled little brat of an only child... who doesnt give a FUCK about anyone else... at least if that's the part you cast me as... that is the part I will play.
and my SELF CONCIOUSNESS came along a lot stronger after seeing you two naked.
I should have never gone to Ky's party.
I WAS IMPROVING
in case you hadn't fucking noticed.. I thought people were having more fun around me
sorry that it made me snap more at home... but I am becoming my mother... whether that is a good thing or not. And you cannot tell me you can change how your background makes you act completely... I grew up with snapping and raising of the voice... even before mark. My family all has a temper and is not afraid to show it.
Which is why I am never afraid to show my feelings.
and if I see the words GROW UP one more time... I am going to scream... WHo are you two to tell me to grow up? Seriously!! I don't think you have any place to tell me this... I am growing up in my OWN way... I am dealing with mature things and meeting them straight on. So should I tell my mother to grow up whenever she loses her temper?
HELP ALL YOU WANT IN A WEEK... right now... I just need a break from you guys.
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