ok, so I really want feedback from you guys on this. and by "you guys" I mean Laura, Brianna, Mel, Tim, and all the people they hang out with regularly who happen to read this blog.
WHY ARE YOU SHUTTING ME OUT?
it didn't seem that bad for a while. I wasn't too upset about the whole Awesome Squad thing, mainly because I didn't have the energy to. I was a little irked that Collective wasn't asked to be in it, simply because (I thought) Collective was Collective, and Collective NEVER shut each other out of anything. At least, that's the theory, right? But I wasn't about to start a fight about it, right at the height of stress and busyness for me; I just didn't need that much more stress in my life.
Then it started to feel a little bit worse, what with the entire not being invited to Brianna's because "me and Sean didn't want to be there if all we did was run off together." Now I am sorry to all of you who think that Brianna is justified with that because of how small her house is, but I DON'T think it is fair, or appropriate. She never even talked to me about it before she did that! She didn't bother giving me a second chance, which again, is what I thought best friends did for each other. But yes, there is the numbers thing, and that is rational, and I understand that. So I figured, it's just another thing that I have to put up with.
Now I am reading Laura's blog, because I am CONCERNED about how she is feeling, what with the entire fight happening on her blog, and I find references to TWO DIFFERENT GET-TOGETHERS that NOBODY told me about! No one mentioned them to me at all! What, do you all think that I am so attached to Sean that I can't spare one or two nights away from him to be with the people I care about the most? Or did that big happy thing I wrote two posts down mean absolutely NOTHING to you guys? In case you hadn't noticed, I care about each and every one of you, and when no one makes any effort at ALL to tell me about things, do you know how that makes me feel? Also, I MISS you guys! a lot!
So tell me the truth RIGHT NOW. Am I still your friend at all, or should I just leave you all alone? Because I have NO idea what to think any more! And if you think I am being dramatic, well TOO FREAKING BAD! Because you haven't exactly done anything to prove me wrong lately!
and by the way, I am sick and tired of making a spectacle of myself at school by confronting people about what I feel strongly about, and clearly I don't see any of you anywhere else. So my concerns have been put out there on this blog. After that, never again. I will not mention this to any of you, unless you specifically bring it up. So either tell me here, or just don't bother, and I'll know to leave you guys alone. I won't go where I am not wanted.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
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8 comments:
Its not like these were our plans or anything, we were just invited to them. Mels house is just the two of us, and you arent even FRIENDS with Stefanie!
Brianna, I asked you a question that you didn't answer.
Holy devil alleah, 3 posts on one day. I sincerely hope that you work out these quarrels. :(
Alleah, I want to still hang out with you! I want to be your friend. Question answered! as pertaining to my house, I made plans! With laura, and than Brianna and the two pland ended up getting combined. you weren't "left off the invite" list or anything, you know I would invite you! yeah we're simply watching movies. I'm sorry that you feel left out.... :( I seem to somehow manage to get on everyones bad side these days.... unintentionaly for the most part! But to conclude, though people are mad that I "started a fight" I simply tried to express my feelingings in a different venue, that seemed to be a bad idea, cuz everyone latched onto the idea and commented on my comments!!! I'm not in the awesome squad either, and I really love yah, and am sorry you are saddened by people.... who might include me..... :S
I want to hang out with you! If I had a house in Nanaimo, I'd invite you to it. As it stands, you're invited to my house in Vancouver :D:D
As to this whole... police action between all of you (I refuse to call it a war, as fisticuffs have not been resorted to yet)... Don't let petty disagreements come between you all. Just... let it roll off the back. And before any of you start saying that this is all very very serious etc., ask yourself if it's really all that serious. Friendships by nature are absurd.
You're still my friend, Alleah :)
Alleah, your links have been updated as per your request, I believe. Did you want Scott (張禾力) on there or not? Please make sure they all work as desired & I will endeavour to fix any errors promptly.
Merry christmas
P.S. I find myself singing Latin sacred cantatas & gospel while I'm not paying attention... nyar
I love you Plebea. Not quite the way I love Laura (at all), but still I value you as a friend.
I would hang out with you. I feel the distinction I can draw between my running off with Laura at Jen's and your running off from Brianna's with Sean is only one of scale and numbers.
While I will not condemn you for doing this by any means, we all have to let it be a lesson.
I think everyone is learning what is and is not okay. You cannot expect to invite a couple to a party and have them never snuggle or kiss a little, but it is possibly too much for them to take off by themselves. I think we are all--both couples and friends of--learning what is and is not okay.
Someone should make a list.
I don't think anyone is excluding you, but I can see how it might seem that way. That is my, humble, opinion.
Thank you, Mel and Tim, for your reassurances. I find it distinctly interesting that other than Brianna defending herself at first, two thirds of Collective have declined to comment on this post. I sincerely hope that this is because you are saving it for talking about in person. I would be sorely disappointed to see that you both just avoided the subject.
and, PS, I have not fallen off the planet as it might seem by my non-posting.
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