spring fever

Feeling unsatisfied with ourselves, and life in general seems to be a theme among my friends as of late. Brianna wants to begin doing all the things she's been PLANNING to do. Mel wants to change the things she dislikes about herself, as do I. So many of us are looking at ourselves in a new light this spring, and trying to take action. This is so great, I think! No matter how experienced we feel, the fact is, we are still SO YOUNG. That's a little weird for me to realize, but it's true. I love the fact that we're all gung-ho about renovating the old me's, and improving ourselves, especially at this time in our lives. It's basically the beginning of our lives as real people, and what a great time to start being the person you want to be.

The following is my plan to becoming a better Pinto.



1) recover from my mom's death

this is SUCH a huge issue with me. I have NOT dealt with my mom's death very well. I've been locking the emotions down, and ignoring them rather than dealing with it, and coming to terms with it, and it shows. From being depressed and not being able to get out of bed and to school, right up to feeling so off-balance I end up doing things I abhor (bonfire party). These are all things that stem from how fucked up my emotional world is from losing my Mom.

To fix this, I am going into therapy, for starters. I am also going to try and recognize when my problems are stemming from my emotional stability (or lack thereof) and when they are actually problems. And I'm going to find some time to devote to just me. This will help with pretty much everything, my boy trouble, my mom trouble, and plain old simple feeling overwhelmed, which happens almost every show.

This part is going to be really hard, but I'm going to try my best. I'm going to try and cry about it. That may seem really weird to those of you who know me, and know how easily I cry at a lot of things. But honestly, every time I get choked up about Mom's passing, I lock it down. I haven't let it out unless I was alone, and even then, I wouldn't EVER sob. That is SO unhealthy, and I must change that.

2) feel happier while single

this is such an important one for me. I don't want to think that all I am is a complement to someone else. That's the kind of thinking that will ruin any chances of a career in acting. The camera/stage doesn't give a shit about how good a girlfriend I am. And the boyfriends I have/have had/will have don't mean a thing to my future; at least not the way my career will. Boys are all well and good, but I want to make such an awesome life for myself without having a boy in the picture, and THEN I can start thinking about relationships again.

To fix this one, I am going to do everything I always wanted to do, but didn't cause I was focusing on boys instead. I'm going to find the money to go into dance again. I miss dance so much. Mrs. Sinclair is starting a community choir next year which I will be involved in. I am going to get better at all my little hobbies that I never spend much time on between school, shows, friends and Boyfriend.

I am going to go absolutely NUTS on friends. I mean, fuck, I have so freakin many of them, why the hell haven't I made good on that before? I don't spend nearly enough time with the people I like that I should, and there are enough people I like a lot that I won't go overboard on any one friend. And this isn't to say just parties, either! I know I'm an excellent person when NOT inebriated, so why is it, I only see most of my friends when I'm drunk? Screw that, I am going to have some awsome, non-alchoholic, hooligan fun with all those people I blew off, or didn't pay as much attention to because I was bf-ing. For starters, me and Barb and Brianna are having a "facilitated sex talk" with the big bro tonight. Also, I wanna have a spa night for all of us girls who are interested in fixing what's broken in our lives. There's some nice picnic-y fun being planned, and who doesn't like picnics??? And I also want to host an anniversary party for all the Nanaimo Failures! How much fun would that be? Semi-formal, come to my place, and drink cocktails, and talk about--what else--SEX! That would be SO MUCH FUN! And it wouldn't be a crazy drunken romp, either. For one thing none of us girls would want to ruin our dresses. And another thing, there aren't enough people on the blog to be able to have a big crazy party! Just a small, tasteful get-together, islander-style! And that's not the end of it, either. I have so many people I would call friends! Where are they??? I want to make better relationships, with all my Mals, especially the second years who I won't be seeing next year. I have Llowyn and Matt the Wh4tev3r (I will spend time with you, if I have to stalk you myself!) in Vancouver, and the Libratorbs who will be my friends whether they like it or not! For that matter, I haven't seen Nicole and Megan, or the rest of the Awesome Squad in forever! Where'd they disappear to??? All the Dovers, who I only see at the mall. Courtney and Quinn and I hang all the time, but only because she comes to our house! Courtney and I have known each other for over a decade! Why don't we chill together more? And Amanda Taft, my old best friend from way back in primary! Every time we get together, we can still talk the way we did back then. There's no awkward between us whatsoever! Why haven't I hung out with her lately. And Brad, and Devin, and Emily, and Ruiz, and April. I feel like I'm in the mood for a video shoot, Devin! Let's get crackin! Foo, I haven't seen in forever, Monkey, I haven't seen in forever. Kevin Dobson, for shit's sake! Paddy Barry, and Jess! Shit, I remember drinking wine, and playing video games with them! It was sweet! Where the duece are they now? And Jordan Skeeles, we haven't hung out in at least a month! We gotta change that, man! Sean, and Amay, and Bethany, we should DEFINITELY hang out and have some good clean Mormon fun! I haven't seen any of you in WAY too long!

HEY! ...maybe I should get baptized. now there's an idea! A little God in my life could help fix a LOT of things!

Ok, my point is, I need to get over the boy issue. I am way too excellent to be tied to a ball and chain at this point in my life. ON to the next thing!

3) work out

I know a bunch of you are going, shut up, Alleah, you look great, but I DON'T CARE. I want to lose five to ten pounds by the end of the Mal
program, OR BUST. I want actual muscles!!! It can only help. With everything. Think of the benefits: I'll have more strength with which to dance, which will ultimately make me a better dancer, and hone a very marketable skill of mine. I'll be so much healthier, and have so much energy and goodness floating around in me! And I'll have soemthing I can do by myself, and just think about whatever while I'm doing it. It is perfect me-time. It's so relaxing, and therapeutic to have something to do with your body that requires no thought whatsoever. And don't worry about the losing weight part of it. I'm small enough that going down to ninety-five pounds or so won't hurt me a bit. Hell, I'm 108 right now!

To make this happen, I am going to brainwash someone with a credit card so I can buy the Gunnar Peterson core-strength video. I don't know why, I just want it. Yoga is not my style, I despise running, and gyms are distasteful, and stinky. Exercise ball is where it's at!

4) focus on my career

I am a good actress. I will succeed. End of story.

But to do that, of course, I need a plan. I am at Mal until April next year. (2007) During that time, I am focusing on my body; working out, using my accident settlement cash to get nicer teeth. I want them bleached and straightened a little. They're kind of gross right now. And of course auditioning for everything humanly possible. EVERYTHING. It doesn't matter where I am in my schooling, if I'm right for a part, I'll get it, and then I'm working. And working as an actress is my goal isn't it?

Next stop on Pinto's Roadmap to Acting would be another school. The year I finish Mal, I'm auditioning for every school I'm interested in. Studio 58, CCPA, UBC, U of A, and Red Deer. If I really want to go all out, I may even audition for the National Theatre School or some such. I'm going to go crazy. Many places won't accept an applicant the first audition around, like Studio 58, but if I go nuts, somebody will be willing to accept me.

At some point, if I can get into a few professional shows, I'm going to go for my Equity apprenticeship. I have to pay a deposit to the union, then be in at least three Equity shows as an apprentice before I get the membership.

After that, I'm just going to keep going to school, and getting farther and farther into student debt until I get working. I just WON'T give up. I can't. It's just not in me. I will never say, "well, I gave it my best shot, and it just wasn't meant to be." I don't care what's 'meant to be.' I WILL act. period.



And that's my plan to becoming an awesome Pinto. Excellence, or bust! VIVA LA PINTO!!!!

I wanna give you up/ but I'm addicted

yeah, I know, I broke my own rule, and posted a song lyric as the title of this post. But seriously, the other options were '*blank stare*', 'drool' and 'nothing eventful happened this weekend' I think the one I went for works best. ;)

I just came back for Easter weekend with the folks. It was...well, it was Easter weekend with the folks. *shrug* Played a lot of cards, ate some real meals (you kn0w, cooked. in a real live oven! I was livin in the lap of luxury this weekend!), and went to the beach. I collected lots of pretty stones at the beach and slipped on a rock, and gashed my palm on a barnacle. Quinn got a lovely shot of my ass covered in sea slime! *eye rolling*

I bought Quinn Easter goodies, cause I figured he probably hadn't gotten a basket in a long time, being you know-- a PARENT-- way out in Ontario all these years. He enjoyed that. I think my grandparents figure I'm too old for a basket now, cause come Easter morning there were no choclates for me. bummer. What a gip! I could have been at Brianna's, and gotten chocolate,m and a f***in good time for Easter instead of being at that stultifying family function, being driven nutters by those devilspawn of children my sister grew. Yeah that's right. They werre GROWN. Like weeds. :P

Other than that, I did a whole lot of nuthin. On the way out, Quinn and I visited Mom's grave. There's a pretty headstone, with her name, and dates carved on a releif of a book! You guys know how much Mom read...I'm sure she would have loved that.

ok, so what else...ummmm...Ace called me on the way home...the reception cut out...yeah, that's pretty much it. bah! le boring. Ok, well, my fingers are frozen solid, and there's coffee, and Courtney waiting for me upstairs, so I shall be off. I bid you adieu! VIVA LA PINTO!!!

O. M. G.

ok, sometimes I like to reread way old posts of mine to see how ridiculously different I am now. So I was just doing that (specifically trying to find the exact amount of time I went without sex the longest; I know I blogged about it. I blog about everything), and I came upon the funniest thing I think I have ever ever seen! A post that I wrote when I was baked out of my mind! This was from two summers ago. Remember my weekend of badness, with Foo Dobson, Brianna, and Laura, and Kevin? Well, the first night, I shared a 2-6 of gin with Foo, and got high with him and his friend Rod, and ended up making out with Foo (embarrassing). The second night, I was at Kevin's, and Paddy Barry gave me a ride home, but not before stopping at his place to smoke a few bowls of weed. This post is from that night. (I can't remember exactly when but a little while after this weekend I had my very first fling ever, with Pumpkin Face!) It has been edited with expalanations of what I think I must have meant in green.


gotta finish this post before this stuff wears off

I regret to inform you, that I am currently stoned. Silly Kevin and Foo, you should have known better than to send me off with Paddy! and his ohh-so-West Coast, pot-smoking ways... (take that, Mr. Lt. David of the I don't know where British Columbia is kind Chin!) this is a guy I met in Virginia at my big bro's wedding. he didn't know where BC was. Silly Americans. second time in two days. I'm a pathetic human being with no will power, and a desire to get away from my horrid expectations of myself. *But is weed the answer children? survey says: yes.* I take no responsibility for this post, I thought it was funny when I wrote it. I want all who read this blog to be happy and laughing while they read my blog so that they like, it and keep coming back for more. (wow that sentence got forgotten, and it took me like a full minute to retrieve it from the depths of my brain; it's kind of liking losing luggage to the airports (Nazis), and then having to wait a year or more, and give up on it, and then get it mailed to you, after you've bought your men's shaving cream, and Braun face razor, and new pairs of jocky shorts, which is the same amount of annoyance on the annoyance scale.) (wow, that mosquito was enormous! made it easy to swat, though. Their getting ginormous in Canada! (*putting on astonished rancher-girl voice*) quick Cletis, get the gun, the parasitic aliens have already taken the mosquitos, and are ready to start their transfer to the human race through the cardio vascular system!) (that was a muscle, not a system) (yikes, that entire previous paragraph was read in my mind in a horrified Aunt-May-from-Spiderman-but thirty-five years earlier, offended voice) look at all the parentheses! lol! All this stuff is nothing but excerpts from all the thoughts I'm making, except for the editorial, boring ones (you know like that's missing a pee, (P) that's supposed to have a cue, (Q) this is a better word. (shiz-nitch) you don't need to knw about that.) However, obviously I am babbling, and as such a babbler, I am physically obligated (by my sever lack of control, or judgment systems as made inebriated by the substance I have been smoking) to tell anyone anything about me...like Paddy asked if I was good at blow jobs (though in not so many words), and I was like fuck you (i don't think I said that, but I was sober enough then (a little) to be able to kind of mutter it away). but that's a rare case, usually, I'm like, I blab all. stupid pot. Every few seconds, I just keep going off on tangents then losing my thought train (plenty good room on the glory train, there's a ...) (choir song; talk of trains made me start singing it aloud, and then type it down) and it's frusterating. hmmm. deep breaths. I wonder if the neighbors next door can tap into my computer screen using secret government hack softwear for spying? that would suck, cause they might be able to pull up my recieved files folder or something and--ooh--know what I've been talking about. tricksy hobbits. you think ghosts or spirits can move the physical elemental molocules around in a way similar to the god-like capacity to create to create something like a birth of a monster? what if he (the ghost in question) hated pot smokers, and burned 'em all up with his super-mollecular powers cause he was a ghost and could? he'd be so antisocial! (that cracked me up!) (cracked me up hardcore! both then in my inebriated state, and now!)I hope you all laugh when you read this. cause maybe if you're laughing and having fun you won't be so condemning of me having the same fun you are having. That = no getting hurt. I miss my Capricorn bracelet. wait, that was a necklace. w/e. he (Geoff) hates me, I suppose I hate him now. Although I would hate to have to hate the memories. There'r some good ones. I wonder how embarrassed I'm going to betomorroow? cause this is pretty uncensored, basically all that's going into my head is poo-fing right out of my mouth and onto paper. (but I'm not talking! ooh! talented!) does that make me honest or does that make me cheap? you tell me. cause then I won't have to be the one who has to intuit what every one has said for everyone else. (yeah...I don't even know what I meant by that...)I'm making some major psychological breakthroughs here in my head, but everytime I formulate my plan to put it down on paper, it eludes me! Like for instance: what was I just thinking about? something about me--NO! me getting psychologically less--dependent? no. guilty? no...what was that? nope, can't remember by rereading the text. if I were speaking I would probably be slurring. The problem is I keep making thoughts to fast for fingers to write, then I lose them cause I'm onto another thought, and my hands are screaming "mayday, mayday, we have to make sure all this info is getting out to all your readers out there in blogland! they need to know! (Brianna-like wail) They need to KNOOOOOWWWW!" (this must be said in a Charleton Heston-like manner--because I say so) their the captains of the ship, and they're going dooooooo oooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooown... I hope you appreciate the effort, cause my BACK is achin! *limps off to Electric Lettuce* what's that? electric lettuce you say? why there? because that's where I should go cause I SMOKE POT! AND IT'S A FRIENDLY ENVIROMENT! I love stoners. It's like a jail for stoners, albeit an amusing one. --**referring to the previous topic** back is on fire. Sherayna is gone to bed. ok, wtf? what is she planning? shit, I'm going to die in my bed tonight. I should go to bed, but I DON'T wanna. I can't wait to have comments. Though everyone is going to be disappointed in me. Jeepers. What do I have, a posse ful of parents? shitty end of the stick here, who's taking? (I can't believe I laughed at that--even stoned, that's pathetic) my laughs smell like pot. I'm such a pot head. Foo might not think so, but he knows I haven't done pot much. Shit man, I need AA. and the one for marijuana. I thought I heard the sound of a police radio announcer talking on my way home w/ Paddy, but really it was his car stereo. it freaked me out. I thought I was psychic, and there were cops on our tail cause we were fucking stoners. But it wqas just my influenced influenced imagination, which could be a message from my subconcious about the psychological breakthroughs (hey! this is what I was thinking earlier!) I'm having in my high. My psychological breakthroughs are that-fuckk where'd it go. I was trying to retrieve that thought for a full ahlf an hour! I'm a fucking blond dog! (I'm referring to Golden labrador retrievers here; obscure reference, I know) --my psychological breakthroughs are: that I am...wait, it's coming...(hey it's like an orgasm, but wait if that's true, then it means the thought will never come, because I never...you get the idea) (I hoope Laura laughs at this)...ok. that I am...stoned for sure (that's sounds so badly simpleton). there are more things that I am that aren't positive...something that is related to: SHIT! I totally had it, too! fucking thoughts. paranoid!!! for one thing! that was part of it, I am paranoid. For what? well cause I'm ego centric for one thing, but that wasn't the important thing....what was te important thing (you know if I do this much soul-searchin while I'm supposed to be out getting stoned (read: having illegal illegal fun with drugs and alchohol) (hey, I just ried to spell stoned and got the middle three letters wrong!) fuck, another one got forgotten. and I really wanted to tell you that one too, cause it was cool, you would ahve liked it--OH YEAH! fuck it's gone again. OH YEAH! that I...should live along(I think I may have meant 'alone' by 'along'), I think? no, no it was something else related to you guys enjoying my blog or soemthing. not too sure, wow am I needy, it had something to do with that do, wow this sentence is turning into a big old witches brew for concepts. I'm probably lying about a few of these things to you cause I'm stoned. I am going to PASS OUT at this computer, I'm so fucked u[p. OH YEAH! cause it's good to have you guys, (read: my blog of lonliness) so that I can have a private place to make me feel like I'm safe and that nobody is reading this, but am really not so I can express my self, and only feel a little mortified about it that usual. I don't like telling epopelt (people) hingsa (things) bout (about) me cause I'm...paranoid. and stoned... I keep thinkiing my desk is wider than it--oh yeahh! SHIT! gone again--OH YEAH! FUCK IT KEEPS GETTING LOST INT THE AMOUNT OF TIME IT TAKES TO TYPE OH YEAH! SOMETHING...ME WHINING AND YOU NOT CARE? NO..UM...YOU NOT REAL?(L. O. Fucking L.!!!) MAYBE THAT WAS IT. THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR! fuckin caps lock. owie back... \sooooooooo random, radnom blog of random blogness. random random random, Angie, should likeit she's always saying how she likes random stuff. But she probably disapproves, cause everybody disapproves but Foo and Paddy. Even "Rod" disapproved I think cause it was me, and maybe he's heard something from asshole Chris Read. asshole asshole. wish I had Laura and Gareth here to carry me around like the cast party (cast party of mime and commedia dell'arte; my second time getting drunk ever, and Gator, and Ty had to carry me around--hey Laura! "Gravity goes that way!" lol!!!) . even though I know it was Ty carrying me around then. but right now I want Gareth. and Laura. they're going to disapprove... i like this post...it's even more honest that I usually am, and I'm sure some of you would like that...and some of you will hate me. I really hope the religious ones don't start to hate me. cause I'm just mistaking by sinning, both are fixeable. An anyway, no babies yet, (and I digress into the realm of pregnancy; *shrugs*) and no unprotected sex =ing STD yucky yucky herpes. play the D note, Giles. her-pes her-pes her-res her-pes her-pes. (this was something me and Collective used to do when we learned songs, just cause it was childishly amusing; sing 'herpes' over and over on a D above middle C) I really hope Laura laughs at this stuff, cause she's the only what about whom I'm positive that they'll laugh when they read this and not be angry. My foot is cold. Still taste like pot. or maybe that coldness is a bite from a parasitic alien-ridden mosquito, and that's just my DNA breaking down in my foot, and becoming the aliens??? fuck I'm wasted. (I spent quite a bit of time right here just staring at the computer screen, I think...)weaRING OFF NOW. I can hear country music in my head. stuff my grampa listens to. I'm fucking basted. haha! mixed too synonyms with stoned into a new word! I need an urban dictionary. wow I am obnoxiously unsober. thank good ness MoM strong sleeper. wearing off more. slightly more coherent. maybe I've finally gone insane. (I began to sing this song aloud; it's In The Still of the Night, a song from choir) In the still of the night. I held you. Held you tight. Oh I love. Love you so. Promise I'll never let you go. In the still of the night. (and now I randomly meld it into Sincerely, a song I sang with the Collective) ooooh-ooooh-oooooooh, woop woopwwooooo oooh, bee oooh, Sincerely. oh I know how you love me (haha) cause I love you so dearly. oh whoa whoa please say....you'll be mine like a freaky oldies record playing out to the rest of my life. good records that I like. I can hear Sincerely, but as me and Brianna and Laura singing it but recorded in nineteen forty four. I can't fall asleep other wise I'll die./ If I fall asleep, either the al;iens will steal my body and take it over like Prom Night 2, Hello Mary Lou, oooorrr the drugs will cause me to have a heart attack and die, thus fucking shit up. for the past like three hours, my attention has been superglued to this key board, not even to the screen. it's like the keyboard is my life line, my key to all thigs physical and this life, giving me glorious words of creation. (ok, so that was funny) fuckin shitty deal! I have to sign out of Sherayna's msn,a nd then LOG into my own, adn she's already online, and she's an internet slob,(I must say, I quite enjoy the phrase, 'internet slob'; go stoned me!) and it's a big hassle to have to dot hat everytime you change computer users. too much work. I wonder if this post is as long yet as my (Virginia) trip post? can find character counts in fULL pERSONALLITY PROFILE, I BELIEVE. fuck, caps lock rememeber this: http://www.ratemyteachers.ca/ it's a link Amanda sent me and I should look at it, adn she's talking to me. rememeber it. too baked to do it noooooowww. I can't spell. fucking stoned. no longer positive of immentent possession and or takeover. (so paranoid, when baked; *shakes head*)yeah fuck, now I'm afraid that this is being cause d by the aliens. cause that presents an element of the unknown, and ghosts pose more of a similiar, I-can-read-about-your-kind-in-a-textbook-somewherw kinda way, and Aliens are entirely unknown, making them scarier. I wanna post now, buh bye. beebur. brianna. banana. bbebur bananabriannablack. goodnight night.



hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I adore myself sometimes! That was a fun night, and I love that I have this ridiculous post to remind myself of it! I didn't know I could get that introsepctive when I was stoned...? And fuck--LOL!--"[my thought] keeps getting forgotten in the time it takes to type OH YEAH!!!!"--that is SO FREAKIN FUNNY!!! Like I said, sometimes, I really do love myself!







'...but then I started dating Ace'

(lol, jk!)

today...
i wore: khaki jeans, a blue t-shirt, and a blue hoodie. and GRANNY PANTIES! Operation Keep Alleah Celibate, proceeding as planned.
i ate: LOTS of coffee, a glorious hot dog man jumbo smokie, a quiche that Danielle made, and Sidekicks. Very very badly made Sidekicks.
i did: go to school (for once) and watched the opening matinee of Woyzeck. Good job, all! Then had my year-end meeting with the program directors at Mal. They suggested therapy so I can get the fuck over my mummy dying (my words, not their's). I agree. Then some hanging of the out with my bro, and all his friends. I have a feeling one of his newer friends may have a thing for me...weird.
i like: feeling hopeful again
i dislike: notalot. the discouraging empty calendar space of the upcoming summer
brag moment: when the big bro's new friend Ryan totally ignored Quinn, AND Donnie, who he'd ostensibly come to see, just to talk to me about Fords compared to Chevy's!
cringe moment: everything I felt leading up to my interview. I felt for sure that they were going to kick me out for being such a bad student! :(
granola moment: wiping the counter clean of coffee-y muck. I felt like such a housewife, in a partly fascinating, partly icky way.
i plan to: go to bed. REAL soon.

what a la-a-a-a-azy day

the only thing of any importance that has happened today is that one of the places where I dropped off a resume at called me for an interview!!! It's with Sushi Eh, a Japanese restaurant on Tuesday! w00t!

dog-washing, sword-fighting, wood-splitting adventure!

So, this is my weekend of NOT drinking with Mals and doing stupid things I regret. Instead I went to a lame-ass philosophy/sophistry party (anyone see a pattern developing?), then got drunk with my bro, sis, and Courtney + Brianna, which involved lots of shout-singing, and crazy drunk mosh-dancing, and kind of getting shunned from my bro's room, cause they all wanted to go to bed, and me and Brianna were still partying hardy.

This morning, when me and Beebur finally woke up, nobody was around so we sat in my livving room bullshitting, and then found our sword-fighting sticks (I've been teaching Brianna how to fence so she'll have a head-start next year, during stage fighting class!) And then we sword-fought! Brianna picked it up quickly and by the end of our fun today, we were drilling ourselves on made-up sequences repetitively. It was awse!

Quinn came home, and started a fire, and wanted to have a cook-out. So we thought that was cool, until he buggered off with his friend Donnie under the guise of "getting hot dogs, and buns" to go to an autowreckers and search for a stupid part! Stupid boys, and their toys.

So me and Brianna had to keep the fire going until he and his stupid friend got back, which was THREE HOURS LATER, but we entertained ourselves by therapeutically chopping wood, and feeding the fire until it was a massive manly-man type blaze. We were proud of ourselves! :)

Finally they came back, and we gorged ourselves on hot dogs, and marshmallows. That was pretty cool. Then me and Beebur had to catch a bus, cause she had to be home by six. She has plans tonight. Instead, her mom called her on the way to the bus, so we just satby the side of the road, and made daisy chains until her mom came to pick us up. And then we went to go eat pizza. So me and Brianna and her mom sat and ate pizza and breadsticks, and discussed lots of important right-now topics, and had a blast.

Then I went home, where, Quinn was (surprise surprise) going out again, and asked me to tend the fire. So I chopped some more wood, and made a big ole blaze, and Quinn came home with Courtney. We were sitting around the fire bullshitting until Courtney had the bright idea of washing Tika (*eyes rolling*). So me and her went inside, and I changed into grubby clothes, and we washed the dog, and now everybody's upstairs chillaxin.

So that was my adventurous weekend thus far. I have nthing else to say unless you want me to go emo. Nobody does, so I won't. :D see how big my smile is? I have NO PROBLEMS whatsoever. Just don't get me drunk, cause I'll get all melancholy. :P That's no fun. And I'd rather be having adventures. Soo I just won't think about my problems until they go away. Sounds like a good plan.

but I am le tired

except I am le bored. Life is so blah rght now. No excitement. No short term goals. No boy, and a few friends who are excellent. Nothing to do. Nothing to immediately work towards. I hate it when life is like that. This summer is going to be soooooo boring. Nothing to do but work. I have to get a job. Blech.

Blech

Blech

Blech.

Alleah's bloggeroonies

so I've been rediscovering excellent blogs of the past. Did you know that I am on no less than six different blogs? no kidding, folks. There's this one of course, the beloved Fun with Pinto.

Then there's this one, that I started for the Collective that we never ended up posting on. suck-ass! We should start that again...Laura! Where are you?

There is of course, The Failing Blog, our sex-ellent sexcapades (ha! just made that up!)

I used to have a secret blog of love with Sean, but I deleted that long ago. I have my boring work journal which I haven't posted on for years. And my super lame-ass Crucible journal which was aboutan english assignment, not the show we did at Mal. :P And last but certainly not least, I have the last one I just started whch is excellent, bt none of you get to see it yet. You have to wait until May. :)

So, AS THIS POST JUST DEMONSTRATED Y OBVIOUS BOREDOM, (oops, caps lock) I think I need to go to bed now.


VIVA LA PINTO!!!!

remember when?

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you!

I concur with you, brethren!

I want to have a Bunny Rumble. We'll capture bunnies either from MalU (easier) or from my place (homegrown) and wait until a female is in heat, and then take two males and let them in a cage with her! We'll film all this shit, and send it to Ross for Art Wank '07!!! Come on dudes! We have a lot to learn as actors, and as HUMAN BEINGS from the status issues of mating rabbits. And you fucking know it!

Plus we can have a big ole party afterwards, and get wasted.









Bunny Rumble '06, FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

it's motherfuckin BOOZE time!

or futher-mockin, as the case may be. so, I toyed with entitling this post, Pit of Despair, because that happens to be where Homie P is chillin' right now, butI figured it would kind of be weird to be surfin, and find a page with the phrases Fun With Pinto, and Pit of Despair in quick succession.

Last night was the bonfire party of TERRIBLE DOOM. And I mean that in the most sincere way possible. I bought a mickey of Fireball which turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. Even sharing it with Ace, I somehow managed to down nine or ten (can't remember which) shots, two girly drinks, and a mixer and got more hamm3red than I've ever been. Like think crawling around on the ground wasted, with titties popping out and everything. The party itself was freakin awse, though. It was raining when everybody showed up, so we partied in the house for a bit, and cooked marshmallows on the stovetop. SalmonMan Rick made fondue (can't remember who hecame with, but I just met him last night) for me, and Brianna seriously beat the shit out of me for the entire first part of the night! First I flashed my elbows at her (she has this pycho hatred of elbows), and the punched me in the stomach so hard I fell on SaLMONmAN Rick, and couldn't breathe for a while. Then later, I was trying to switch the song on the CD player AWAY from Grease, and she wanted to switch it BACK to Grease, and finally she took me, and just chucked me against the wall, as hard as she could! I kind of ricoche-d, and somehow managed to save myself from falling on the floor, after tripping on shoes, and whatnot in the doorway! lol!

Finally the rain stopped and Quinn got the fire going! They all cooked weinies, and marshmallows, while me and Geoff and Cora went to go pick up Llowyn. So, I was wasted by then, had had two girly drinks and four shots. Spent sometime being obnoxious on the phone, which was sweet. So I totally kept injuring myself h-core the whole night! I am so COVERED in bruises. I fell down the stairs like seriously three or four times, and gouged two of my fingertips horriby on my ghetto-ass railing. They hurt superbad right now, cause I'm typing! I tripped in the driveway, and road-burned my hand pretty badly. I somehow managed NOT to fall in the fire, though I did break a chair that was right there by falling on it. This morning, when I was still drunk, I was jumping on Aden, and went to step off the bed, but I landed on his shoes (fucker) and I was still wearing heels, and my ankle twisted, and I fell right on my face/knee, and now my ankle and knee hurt like a bitch whenever I go down stairs! I am so fucked this morning.

Later in the night after the Fireball was gone and I was super super shitfaced, I started hanging out in the bathtub. Now I only have one bathroom in my house, so that kind of sucked for everyone else. I was in there at first, and Ace who was almost passing out came in to throw up. We started co-throwing up in the toilet, which was funny, and yet revolting. Then I went somewhere else, and came back, and fell into the tub, and took Jordan (I'm so sorry) with me. So we were chillaxin in the tub, and Brianna (who is also drunk by now after swearing to just hang out and watch everybody else get drunk;go fig!) comes in, and has to pee! So she's bitching away, and finally I just shut the shower curtain, and she's just drunk enough to pee! So now there's a post-it on my door that says PEE ANYWAYS! I'm leaving it up forever. Then like ten minutes later, Curtney comes in, and vetoes that ass, and I swear, if Jordan hadn't been there I would have passed out in the tub! There was no way I could have gotten myself outta there!

Anyways, long story short the party was really great. The badness starts when I went to bed. They kept trying to put me to bed, so that I wouldn't drink anymore, and I kept hassling them, by running away, and making them catch me! It was really great fun in my drunken stupor! Anyways, finally I decided on my on that I needed to crash. This was prolly about one thirty (*blush*). So Jordan tucks me in (sweetheart). Ace crashed a long time ago and has taken over my bed. Me being me, I don't give a crap who's IN my bed, it's my bed, and I'm going to sleep in it wether they like it or not! So I just tell Ace to move the fuck over and I go to bed. Cue badness.

I don't wanna talk about it, so Brianna is going to type this section.

So basically what went down was, its around five in the morning and a very drunk Alleah ( and Im talking smashed beyon recognition) and what im hoping was a very drunk Ace, ended up together in a bed. And you know how it is kids, one thing leads to another,and sooner or later....

So anyways, round sixish Alleah was getting up to see Llowyn off to the ferry (except he wasnt there) and said a good morning toJordan... who then ( oh it hurts to type) hit her away and said, I HEARD you! So.... generally not a good situation. Awkwardness abounds. Needless to say, no more Jordan and Alleah relationship. Poor poor Alleah is taking it all on her shoulders though, and while she WAS a terrible girlfriend :P does not need to be entirely to blameme. (Alleah: I'm leving this be! but it's supposed to be "blamed") And ALLEAH DONT BLAME YOURSELF FOR ANY PROBLEMS IN ACE AND MICHELLES RELATIONSHIP EITHER!!!

okay, im done here

Alleah: so that sucked. is still sucking. I have never done somethingI regretted so much. I can no long say I am a regretless Pinto, and I am so ashamed of that fact. Words seriously cannot describe how unbelievably ashamed and sorry I am. I seriously just lost three valued relationships in one fell swoop. All I can say to all three of you, is I am so sorry.

(I swear shall murder my neices and nephews! I hope they enjoyed their young lives, because they just stuck something in the microwave and set it on fire, and retribution shall be swift and merciless!)

So I called Ace after Jordan and I took a car ride and broke up extremely painfully, and him and Michelle are still together. So (surprise surprise), as if my life doesn't suck enough I have to shoulder the shame of this burden all by my little self. I've never hated myself more than right now. I had to get off the phone because I was crying so hard, and I spent an hour in my bedroom, with Brianna and Courtney talking about how I'm going to try to pick up the peices of my life.

I guess ths sounds kind of melodramatic considering all the actually bad stuff I've survived, but it IS actually the worst thing that's ever happened to me/I've ever done. I HATE hurting people, and I just hurt two of the people I care about the most, plus doing collateral damage on somebody I respect, like, and admire. That is so much worse than anything that could ever happen ever. My friends and boyfriend are the people I value the most in the world, and the fact that I did something that horrendous to them is s something I'll never forgive myself for.

So what me and Brianna and Courtney decided is that I need to be single for a really long time. I need to relearn how to be Alleah, not Alleah-and-so-and-so, the way I've been for the past three years. I've decided to really jump into my career. I don't know why I'm still at Mal, because it's not the place a serious actor really needs to be, so I'm going to look into transfer programs. Maybe to UBC, or Capilano, or UVic. I need to get out fo Nanaimo, and away from who I used to be, and I need to start getting serious about my career. I need an agent. I need to know about auditions and go to them. I need to stop smoking, and get a super-fab bod. (yes I did really just say that!) So instead of being in love with a boy, I'm going to focus on becoming the kind of person that boys will be in love with. And STAY in love with.

That is my goal for the next year. I am so sorry to all the people I've fucked over the years. If it makes you feel any better, karma's a bitch, and I'm now lying in the pit I dug for myself.

the fun never stops @ Mal-Freakin-U!

Theatre Quotes Prt III (these are from today's drafting class; somehow the best ones always come out of these classes!)

Amber: "but my box must be beautiful!" (that girl can never stop talking bout her vagina, I swear to goodness! ;))

Alex: "I feel surrounded by G-isms." (pronounced 'jism', of course. We were discussing Geoff-isms, and what to call them)

Geoff: "if you eat a doo-doo brain dead [stutter stutter], s't st'll c'nnb'lah blah blah blah [stutter, etc]"
Alleah: "k--learn how to talk, THEN tell jokes!"
(Geoff was trying to say, 'if you eat a brain-dead dude, is it still cannibalism?')


Other exciting events from this class included me taping a random butter knife we found to the chalkboard, then to the door (we were in the music building), kicking Geoff, and having an us-them war with the right side of the class. Tensions ran high, but I still enoyed myself.

Somebody gonna get hurt real bad

I dunno, I'm a white kid, and my mom beat the stuffing out of me a couple of times...go here.

party planner extrordinaire!

ok, so my next few weeks are packed to the max, and me being me, of course thats nowhere near enough! this Friday, there's a tea party of Carolyn's @ noon and then after that is my Bonfire party of excellent doom. The weekend after that, the MalU theatre department is having their annual year end camping trip at Nanaimo Lakes, which will be sweet. The weekend after that on the Saturday, the famed MattyRob of Whatever blog will be in nanaimo, and I promised a kickin' p-tay, so I gotta put my brain powers to work. If anybody has any ideas, give me a shout out, cause I gotta fix up something super cool just for him!

now this is more like it!

You scored as Exciting. You are exciting, people want to fuck your brains out and you know it. Whether it's in an airplane or on the back of the bus, sex with you is always exciting. Exciting 94% Hot 88% Wet 75% Violent 44% Sweet 38% Soft 31% Awkward 19% Shy 0% What is your sexual style? created with QuizFarm.com

stupid shit times a million!

So I'm doing some super duper productive and interesting quizzes, and I just got voted Popular Bitch! Never thought that day would come!!!

aren't you glad you AREN'T helping me with my Vancouver pics right now, and get to read all about my interesting life?

voicemail hijinks

today I listened to an old voicemail from Brianna in Vancouver when she thought she saw me, and went, "oh, maybe that's you--oh--oh wait, no it's not" and it made me laugh hysterically for like a full minute.

i hope I've grown up a little

after having spent the last litte while reading old posts I have to say I am disgusted with the human race. I just read the whole comment war back from last year, and it's disgusting. Not just the tards with no life displaying their low IQ all over the internet, because they just don't know any better, but because of how their hijinks made members of no less than three circles of friends turn on each other, and start making wild accusations, and painful incorrect assumptions without even talking to the person they had a beef with. I don't know about anybody else, and I don't want to mention names, but rereading those old posts, all I remember was how hurt I was that nobody it seemed who was my friend, except for those who barely knew me were willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. It's such a sad observation of the world that pathetic losers can make such good friends turn on each other like that. It wasn't even about the perceived injustices and insults that we flung at each other. It was all because we had been targeted by some mean-spirited people with no sense of humanity, and it smarted. So what do we do? Instead of weather the storm, and come out on top, we took it out on each other. Looking back (hindsight is 20/20, of course) it makes me hope that we've all grown up enough to be able to step back when we're offended, identify the main problem, and deal with it in a civilized manner.











(of course this is slightly hypocritical, considering the immature conversation I just had with Ace on msn...tee-hee! Cyber-five, Ace! We're going to hell!)

In other news, I've decided to not blog about anything important until somebody helps me get my Vancouver pics on the old blogeroo. So prepare to hear about anything and everything from my shower routine, tohow many scars I have until those pics are posted!!!!

The Incredible MisAdventures of Brianna and Alleah in Vancouver--NOT!!!

I've decided that instead of one big mega-death post of trip story doom, I am simply going to wait until someone with a scanner gets all my pics on a computer before posting about me and Brianna's excellent Vancouver trip. So no details for you, biz-nitch, until someone helps me scan my pics!

And in Soviet Russia, SHIRT WEARS YOU!

I'm gonna bend you over and make you see rainbows!

Ok, I have to pontificate, for the benefit of certain Libratorbs, about the rules inherent with fucking around with theatres. Yes. There are rules.

You see, when a normal first attends a theatre party, most likely they will be surprised at the apparent amount of promiscuity that we indulge in. But, woe on the poor uncool sap who thinks that that means we are easy lays. Because with certain exceptions, we aren't. We have rules, and they are understood by all, and shall be learned by those who want to tap that. Rule number one, there is such a thing as party monogamy. Seems silly, but once you dick around with somebody at a party, there can be NO ONE ELSE. They are yours for the night, and that's all there is to it. Even if you never see them again after that night, it is still acceptAble, as long as the rule of party monogamy is observed. You start fucking around, they're your party spouse, and that's that. Rule number two: gossip is bad, but unless you intend to be a bad friend, pay attention to what your friends do at parties. This also happens to be part of the Girls' Code, so the fact that I have to repeat it is just sad. (Barbara, this isn't aimed at you, I *heart* you) It's like stealing a bag of oranges from somebody's grocery cart. Or being adulterous with a party spouse. youhave to ask yourself, "who is this person affiliated with? have I already seen them going at it with somebody else?" and never ever EVER, under absolutely NO circumstances is one friend allowed to tap that which has already been tapped by another.

Now I feel impelled to point out (ha! impelled by Laura) that all of this pertains to Second base and beyond. What makes a theatre party a theatre party, as opposed to a particularly slutty normal party, is the fact that we allow our people to make out with as many of each other as they wish. But the minute the bikini rule is broken, party monogamy is in effect, bitch. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, touching above clothes is classified as second base.

This is kind of like rule number oneA: don't fucking hit on everyone, you big sluts out there. Theatre people are randy, we are not loose. Or at least we shouldn't be. Ok, as much as theatres adore their sexual intercourse, we understand that emotion is involved. And nobody wants to feel like a peice of meat. We at least, if nothing else, want to know that you want us for our particular awesemity, NOT because we are the first person, or drunkest person you see. Nobody will will tap that for you, if you just macked on the BFF. (I am the grandest of grand; sorry, had to insert that in there.)

Certain Collective feels the need to add to the list not having sex while the BFF is asleep beside you on the bed. But she has been overruled two to one, so we are going to ignore her.




Collectively Written,
Yours Collectively


The Collective

Theatre Quotes Part 2

These were too good to wait to post them!


"Can I pet your fuck fuck?" -Alleah (on the Apollo Code; one fuck means fuck, two fucks means dog, three fucks means cat)

"*clap* whoops!" -Amber (she's a retard)

Alleah- "You look like a bag lady!"
Amber- "It's like...the Princess...bag...."

"You can't hit The Clit." -Becky (on a little dragon fly made out of burlap strings who we named The Clit)

be-ringed Alleah

I bought a new ring a couple days ago. Now I have three. they are so pretty, and make my little Pinto fingers look sooo elegant.

So, my life will never be undramatic. It's just not fair. I got a call from my ex-sister-in-law a few days ago saying that my brother had disappeared with his little daughter, and April thought that he'd just taken off with her. So that was fucking scary. She had the police looking for them, and everything. It was awful. Then that same day, I get a call from Constable Joe Blow from the Waterloo police asking if I knew any relatives in Elliot Lake (in Manitoba) cause that's where they thought Quinn was. I said no, which is true, I dunno who the hell lives in Manitoba. I called Gramma, freaking out, because I didn't know what to do, and long story short, I was told that he was expected in on Tuesday, the 28th. So I guess he'd been in cahoots with the grandparents, or something. Then on Tuesday, I stayed home as long as I could waiting for him, but eventually I had to go to school for my call for the Oresteia. No Quinn. The whole day. At this point I'm pretty worried, which sucked considering that I'm depressed and exhausted as well. This week has not been a good one for me. Finally yesterday, I find out from Sherayna that Quinn had an accident on the freeway outside of Chilliwack, and although he and Lily are ok, Lily's been taken back to her mother, and Quinn is coming home, albeit in a foul mood over his daughter, and his car which has been totalled. I don't know what to think. I'm glad Quinn is coming home. That's all I really know for sure.

Life kinda sucks a little right now.




"Don't be embarrassed by your trouble with livin'/Cause it's the ones with the sorest throats who've done the most singin' "
-Conor Oberst

end of my rope

I have no patience for petty quarrels anymore. If you have something to say to me, call me up. Don't just stop talking to me, with no given reason. I thought our friendship was worth more than that.

Give me a reason to contact you. Although I don't want to lose you as a friend, I just don't have the energy for silliness. Either talk to me, or tell me that it's over. Don't just leave me sitting around, worrying about cryptic phrases that only hint about the very fact that you're angry.

it's so freaking true!

Anybody under the age of 15 should not re-send this. Just because you were born in '91 or '92 doesn't mean you're a 90s kid. It's not like you could remember some of the original Simpsons.

You know you're a 90's kid if...
You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air".
You've worn leggings and felt stylish.
You yearned to be part of the Baby-Sitters club.
You use to love playing with your MY Little Pet Shop.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head and had scrunchies.
You remember reading "Goosebumps".
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off".
You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You remember the craze then the banning of yo-yo's.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together.
You collected pokemon cards.
You wore socks over leggings scrunched down.
You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare".
You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell".
You played and or collected "Pogs". You knew what a "slammer" was
You used to pretend to be a MIGHTY MORPHIN Power Ranger.
You had at least one GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere
You watched the ORIGINAL Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles
Yikes pencils and rubbers were the shit.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.
You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes. You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You thought it would be so cool to be Alex Mack.
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" ... enough said.
You thought Brain from 'Pinkey and the Brain' would finally take over the world.
You were made to wear a pair of leggings with the straps on the bottom.
Your parents made you wear a fanny pack
You collected tazos.
I'LL BE BACK!
You knew all the words to every Spice Girls song ever made
Furby's were totally where its at
You made wishes on trolls with gems on their stomachs
SKip-It was your favorite hobby
When everything was "the bomb"
you KNOW who the chippettes are
You remember when the Olsen Twins were babies on Full House
You know exactly why you shouldnt say Beetlejuice three times
You EVER watched the following shows: Darkwing Duck
Dog City
Muppet Babies
Marsupilami
Dinosaurs!
Saved by the Bell
Animaniacs
Where is Carmen Sandiego



easily the best forward, I've ever recieved!

update-a-rrific!

so I guess I should actually say something a bout my life, hey? even if my life is shitty and terrible, like a minor chord with the wrong third. (sorry, I was arranging yesterday)

Ace and I broke up. A long time ago. That really sucked. I do, and I don't miss him. It's weird how that works, huh? I'm interested in this other guy, but that whole situtation is a tad bit bunk, so I won't even get into that.

too much drama in the theatre program. it seems like there's always someone who's pissy, or has there own little melodramas, and because we're all exhibitionists (come on, everybody, a blog about our collective sex lives?), it all of course ends up coming up at the program.

there was a big party at Kaitlyn's house this past weekend. El Lame-o Extraordinaire. So much bullshit went down at that party, and I'm not just talking about the scary guy who was lurking around us theatre folk, or the normals who kicked us downstairs, because they were being blah, not to mention the big freakos who stole people's alchohol, and jacked twenty bucks, and a bank card out of one of Donna's roommates' purse. There was also the multitude of boy trouble I was having which has resulted in a lasting bad mood for me to enjoy this week.

To make a long sotry short, I was drunk before anyone else. Boy A comes up to me outside, and tells me that {unsuitable unsuitable} Boy B has a thing for me. I tell Boy A to tell Boy B thanks, but no thanks. (this all occurs while I'm waiting for boy that I'm ACTUALLY interested in to show up). Later on, once he's gotten a bit more drunk, Boy A comes up to me, and "whispers" in my ear, "Alleah...at the beginning of the year, all I wanted to do was fuck you. But then you started dating Ace, so I kinda forgot about it."

YIKES! I got outta that situation right quick!

Later on that night, I'm standing with Donna, bitching about my love life, when the aforementioned Boy B comes zooming up to us, holding something in his hand. He looks at Donna. "When's your birthday?" She looks at him. "July 29th." He looks at me. "Whens YOUR birthday?" I look at him. "December 29th."

"Yours is closer," he says, and shoves this little, jewelry-sized box into my hand. YIKES TIMES A-FREAKING-MILLION! I open it, and it's a gold and jade necklace!!!!!!! holy SHIT! I sputtered out something like, "You should NOT have done this.." or something, he says, "Non, no, I bought it for a girl I loved, and now I want to give it to you." and zooms off again. Donna and I are just standing there staring at each other, flabbergasted! I start freaking out, like what do I do, what do I do? I run into the kitchen grab Ace, and drag him somewhere where I can talk to him. I show him what Boy B gave me, and I was just like, "I am too drunk to handle this right now! What do I do?" And he was like, "Ok, first of all calm down, second of all, wait until you're sober, then go up to him, and give it back. just say thanks but no thanks."

ok. I have a plan. good on me, time to party.

I start hanging out again, having a good time, when Boy C (no. no, it's not over) comes over. By this time, he's pretty sloshed. He comes up to me, leans in, and starts H-core making out with me, like shoving his tongue down my throat kind of making out. So this isn't too too bad, because I've actually been interested, on and off, with Boy C for a while. However, Boy C is primarily interested in Girl B, and only interested in me when she isn't around. Kind of a burn. Good for you, Ms. Second Choice! So anyways, he gets done mouth-raping me (quite nicely, I feel impelled to add), and says, "You know, Alleah. In the beginning of the year, I thought you were so fucking hot, I just wanted to do you. But then you started dating Ace. Now that you're not, I still want to have sex with you except I'm going to be going out with {Girl B}."

Well, isn't that just peachy. It seems like every potential for anythin I ever had ended the minute I started dating Ace. Good on me.

So this whole Boy C making out second choice nonsense continues on the entire night, at one point with Boy C asking Girl B if they can have a threesome with me. *eye rolling* I wish I was twelve again. Elementary school crushes were so much easier to deal with. You worship him, he doesn't know you're alive, everybody's happy. Stuff that preteen novels are made of. Gotta love it!

Anyways, finally, BoyFace that I'm interested in finally shows up. We party a little, I get him alone out on the porch. I ask him if he remembered Thursday night (closing night at the one acts; we partied at the college til midnight, then went to the gaybar downtown, then partied at Donna's;me and BoyFace ended up making out), and he says yes, that he's been thinking about it a lot. Well, this is a good sign, cause I've been practically obsessing over it, wondering if he actually wants anything. He says he's still getting over Girl C, who he's had a thing with for a few months now. Not a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but I'm not judging. As long as he doesn't want the same thing from me. So he's still getting over Girl C, and although he's interested in me, he wants to wait until he's emotionally free (my words, not his) to start something because-get this--he thinks that we could have a real relationship, and doesn't want it to be meaningless. Now that's pretty huge coming from someone like BoyFace, because everybody who knows him has this preconcieved notiopn that he's not a relationship kind of a guy, especially because ofGirl C. So anyways, I have my answer: not right now. We kiss a couple times, I step back, and he looks at me, and says, "Oh man, we would be so good together."

!!!! All boys take note: that's the way to crush a girl's heart with flattery!

Then the final insult comes. He says, "You know, in the beginning of the year, I was so interested in you, I thought you were awesome, and I really could see myself having a relationship with you..."


....



.....



.....






"but then you started dating Ace."















My partying mood evaporated right there. All these boys who all have or had things for me, and the one boy I want, wants to wait. Like a gentleman. It's really great that he wants to wait, because he wants to wait for the right reasons. But that didn't stop me from feeling like shit at that point.

So I ended up sobering up, and lurking around in a bad mood. Matt Damon's sister puked in Donna's shower stall so I helped Donna bleach it, and clean it up. Geoff grabbed my boob, and I punched him as hard as I could, which probably hurt his feelings. I was in such a shitty mood all night after that. To make things worse, Ace had pretty much been avoiding me all night, which is understandable, but then, just before he left, he came up to me, and pointed out the fact that he'd been avoiding me. Ostensibly to reassure me that he didn't dislike me, he was just still trying to get over me, but it still sucked. Lots of boys like yopu, but the boy you want to be with doesn't, and the boy you've been with says things like that. It was a pretty crappy night for me.


So that's my melodrama for the week. Hopefully things will get better. The Oresteia has started. Bad vibes all around, but I'm going to try and get over it, and just do my job. I just don't have the emotional energy to deal with all this drama, put on a good show, and still survive. I never realized how hard it would be without my mom. It's funny. Last year, I would have been able to deal with all this relatively ok. Maybe even thrive. I love it when there's gossip to talk about.

But coming home to an empty house, and no one to pour out your cares to makes everything so much harder. She was the only one I could be totally honest with. She was my diary, and the person who gave me the strength to deal with all the crap. It's so hard to deal without her.

I gotta stop blogging now, I'm crying in the middle of the library.

Theatre Quotes

-"I'm certainly not eighteen." (Alleah during Misner lessons in Acting.)

-"Sometimes I wish I could put a leash on Leon and take him home to be my pet." (Alleah)

-"Hey! There's a pie in here!" (Lisa V.)

-"A mountain douche?" (Alex, after walking in on a conversation about Mountain Dew)

-"I just want somebody other than my wife to play with my ding-dong." (Biff, on his character's 'wants' in the Crucible.)

-"I have the biggest nipples ever." (Brad)

-"I'm sorry, I thought you were acting." (Meghan; probably one of the only derogatory things she's said in her whole life--and it was unintentional!)

-"Barb has a large penis." (Kaitlyn)

-"(insert name here) sleeps with men!" (Barb)

-"Negative one? How can you get negative one?" (Kaitlyn)

-"Fuck him from six feet away!" (Ross, during a rehearsal of the 'sex scene' in the Crucible.)

-"I AM 15!" (Geoff)

-"China is in China..." (Kylan)

-"It's a gross little wrinkly bag." (Kylan, on the scrotum)

-"How many times am I going to smack you if you keep talking?" (Jordan Davies' theory of probability.)

-"She's having an orgasm because she's doing her box right." (Donna, on Amber in Drafting class)

-"I know you're implying I'm gay somehow, I just can't figure it out." (Brad)

-"A little knot of angry, icky blick!" (Leon, in Shakespearean Acting workshops)

-"If you believe the cheesy corn, they will eat it." (Leon, in more Shakespearean acting class.)

-"Were you being sarcastic, cause I'm really too tired to tell the difference." (Alleah; Ashley thought it was cute...)

-"I don't have balls; I have this big stick! It's a double-decker!" (Brad 2.0, done in a Goblin voice)

-"Why would Marc be upstairs?" (Alleah, on a cheesy horror movie when the next victim goes to look for the last victim (who happens to be in a wheelchair) upstairs)


Quotes from the Second-Years (they aren't as funny as us.)

-"If you bang it hard enough, it will come." (Anthony, on a bottle of ketchup)

-"I'm not drunk, you're drunk! Where are my pants?" (Anthony)

-"It's Romeo and Juliet with vampires and werewolves! It's fucking gopod shit!" (JC on Underworld)

-"Stop eating that! You're not a giraffe!" (Anthony)

-"And then dude fucks off--!!!" (Becky, giving a synopsis of the Crucible to a bunch of high schoolers)

today list

I haven't done one of these for a year and a half. I think I shall now.

Today,
i wore: jeans, my Wellington Grad long-sleeved tee, matching socks (for once), shoes with duct tape on them, and mismatching underwear. And a pretty toque.
i ate: juice in the early morning, coffeee and fruit salad for breakfast before eight thirty rehearsal, Harvest Cheddar sunchips, and Sour cream and cheddar baked ruffles during Theatre History, and a hot dog and a seven up during the directors and SM meeting.
i did: not much of anything. rehearsal for What Colour Animal Are You? which went really well. Jordan Davies called me a diva. Theatre History class in which I made a big deal out of giant penises, a director and stage managers meeting, and then waiting and bitching for Ace. Now I'm in the library, missing my bus, over and over.
i like: making people laugh
i dislike: the fact that Ace is in Vancouver until Saturday night.
brag moment: making Ashley (my director for What Colour) laugh out loud at a schtik, even though she's seen it a million times!
cringe moment: the many times Ace expected me to tell him I loved him over and over again on the phone while I was in the presence of somebody else. I wanted to, but it's embarrassing when there's somebody else there.
i plan to: go home, and buy Gramma gum.


so there! sucks to your ass-mar!

undramatic

so, I just read a whole whack of Barbara-ra-ra-ra's old posts, apparently about this dude named Dave who did a bunch of shit, and then a bunch of more shit, which resulted in shit from accomplice-type person--yada yada yada, the main idea is that poor Barbara has had a few shitty weeks, and I feel for her so. It also made me regret who little time I spend with my old friends. I miss you Collective, and lower branches! Our escapades were invaluable, and have done so much to makle me the person I am. Sure it may sound odd that having wet noodle fights and and singing Sum 41 opera-style have anything to do with growth as a person, but let me tell you as a fourteen year old, I would much rather be having innocent snok fun, than trying to sell hash to people sitting at bus stops (some kid did that to me as I was going home from the grocery store; ew).

I miss all the things we did, and how close we were, and how when we talked we knew everything that was going on in each others lives. I miss when each of us were the barr-none most important people in each others lives, and how you always knew that you could count on them to know exactly what bizarre thing you were talking from only a few mixtures of pronouns and verbs. ("Brianna, where's the--" "Top drawer, beside the stove.")

Thinking back on it, you two were the only people I could be my unadulterated shit-head little self with, because even the boys I dated wouldn't put up with it. It takes so much more than just physical familiarity to make the kind of bond that I had with you guys.

It's changed since those days, and it's still there, but different. I just hope we can still make the most of it and become as close friends now as we were then, even if the people you hang with Brianna, and the people you go to school with, Laura, are different than the people I theatre with.

So on with more mundane subjects, you might be interested to know that Ace and I broke up for about a week a little while ago. I was really depressed after my mom died and it got to the point where he couldn't handle it anymore, and needed some space. I was, of course, dismayed, but I supported him, and didn't get offended or anything, but just let him go. In the space of Monday to Saturday, we ended up getting back together. I was miserable, and from all accounts, so was he. I was really scared to get back together with him, and still am a little. I find myself analysing every littloe gesture, hoping against hope he won't decide it was a mistake.

The way we got back together was actually pretty funny in itself. We were at this party at an ex-theatre students house, and he was my ride home, but on the way he got stopped by a road check. He was carrying two passengers in his car, and although he'd stopped drinking at eleven, and was fine to drive, he blew a .02 on the Breathalyser, and any alchohol is prohibited for the new N. He ended up having his license suspended for twelve hours, so Kylan had to come and drive Sarah Robb home, and me and Ace back to my place. There, of course, we ended up talking about how miserable we both were, and when we went to bed, I didn't want to sleep on my cold messy floor in the living room, so we shared my bed. And the rest, they say, is history. ;D

I love my grand-relatives so, but I'll be really happy when they leave, and I can do my boyfriend in the privacy of my own (my VERY OWN!) home.

So, I have somehow managed to pay two months rent all by my little lonesome, and I have enough in my bank account at this very moment for next month. Little teeny-weeny minimum wage Pinto is paying $750 in rent all by herself! The bad news is, I've had to give my dogs to the SPCA. I miss them SO MUCH! I cried so hard when I did it. I can't think about it for two long, or it depresses me like nothing else. But unfortunately, I just can't afford them. And I'm a theatre student, a slave of the all-encompassing entertainment industry. I just don't have the time to give my babies the attention they need. So adopted they get. And I am stuck in an expensive, gigantic home by myself. The upside is, the theatre department (and all my other friends for that matter) have a permanent p-tay location! I have eleven fucking acres, dude! Party on!

The downside of that bastardly expensive house is that I've learned to subsist on coffee, and what others feed me. Good on me! I'll be skinny enough for the camera in no time!

Oh yeah, back to the title of this post, another thing about reading about poor Barbara's terrible times is that I've realized just how undramatic my own life is right now. I dunno if I like it or not. The only scandal that I'm even remotely associated with isn't even about me. I'm involved only slightly.

Anyways, I wanna go read more blogeroos. Peace out, yo.

I have a lumpy skull

My head is in so much pain right now!!! I want to kill myself. I'm over at Ace's house, and we just got out of bed. While we were still ijn bed, he started tickling me, so I tickled him back, and al of a sudden our heads crashed together with the force of doom itself!!! It hurt worse than anything bI've felt since the car accident. Ace did a whole byunch of whining (he practically cried) and I just sat there in trauma, and pain, and then when we checked, he didn't even have a bump, and I have this gigantic mound of owie on my forehead, right above my right eyebrow. It's freaking visible, it's so huge.

And Ace is now out of the shower, and I have to piss like a drunken race horse, so I bid you adieu.

goodbye depressing post of doom

I decided I really n eed to update so everyone knows that I'm still sane. Although...the way work has been going it might not be that long. The day you open up this page and see DIE DIE AVALON DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE is when you'll know I've finally cracked.

I seriously cannot take work anymore. I have zero patience for stupid fat people who don't bother to read our signs, and then complain that we don't have any. Or fat retards who freak out and shriek obsenitites because I put three squirts per layer onto their popcorn. The other day, as soon as all my customers were gone, I went and hid in the back room until my shift was done. I wanted to sit down and cry so badly.

So other than work, I've been as ok as I can be, considedring. I live by myself now in a big old house with three dogs and a cat. It's lonely. I wirte a lot of emo poetry. it's kind of pathetic. But I get out fronm time to time with Ace.

For the week after my mom died, just aout my entire family (with are various and sundry) flew out for the funeral. Great Auntie Eloise and Auntie Barb flew out the day after, Quinn flew out the day after that (which was wonderful; it's been three years since I saw him.) He stayed with me at the house, and we spent pretty much every night staying up until three in the morning, just shooting the shit, crying, whatnot. Cousins Tracy, Soren, Nicole, and Auntie Pat drove out and arrived the day after she died.I had to work the day Ucre flew in, but I finally got home, and got to see little Tori, who is the sweetest thing in the whole wide world!!! bI just adored her. Buckshot arrived that night, after driving up from SeaTac. I spent many many hours with all these people until the funeral, which was on the nineteenth, exactly a week after she died.

The officiating was a weirdo. For instance, she was talking about Mom's favorite song, Man in Black, but she kept calling it Men in Black, and then she kept saying that the lyrics were about people who had bad things happen to them, which is kind of what it's about, but not really, and by not really, I mean not at all. And then she said, "I've never heard the song--but I think that's what it's about." I couldn't believe my ears! What kind of public speaker would ever say something that makes it so blatantly obvious how unprepared my sister waqs to plan this funeral? Anyways, I just llooked at Ace, completely shocked that she would say something like that, and he looked back at, as if to say, "I dunno" and we both started laughing, and Sherayna thought I was crying, and grabbed my hand to 'comfort me' which onl;y made me laugh harder.

As for how I'm actually doing, emotionally, well I dunno. I think this is the closest I've ever come to not being able to handle it. I keep doing everything I need to do, dayd to day, b7u8t everytime I get stressed out, like at work, my dealing-with-it skills just evaporate. They're just completely gone. I was so riude to every single customer today, and the worst thing was, I didn't even care. I \find myself getting mad at things that never used to bug me before. And after that three hundred pound psycho bitch yelled at me the other day, I nearly broke down in the bakc room.

Anyways, life sucks, but big surprise right? I'll deal with it. In the meantime what I should be worrying about is how to pay my rent. I have to apply for orphan benefits, and stuff. I might be able to get monthly supplements, which really is the only way I can survive, because I make eight dollars an hour, part time. It isn't exactly easy to pay nine hundred dollars amonth rent making that, let alone dog food. Probably the easiest thing will be paying for college. This semesters tuition is basically paid for by the student loan I already have, and I can apply for more student loan money for living now that I live on my own. Plus there arre grants and bursaries galore for poor little tragedy stirken girls like me. College will be the easy part, what will be hard is finding the money to survive while I'm in college.

It's struck me now, more than ever how responsible I am for myself now. I have plenty of family and all of them are ready to help out at a moments notice, not to mention my incredible friends, but even with all that: if I won't help myself, no one else will. I am truly on my own, and I am sure not a kid any more. scary thought.

i am an orphan

Marilyn Mattson, my mother
September 1, 1950-December 12, 2005

rest in peace

why, oh why did I ever choose the Vagina Monologues

shoot me now. please.

I have two papers to write tonight before the library closes at ten (it's eight) and my brain just isn't working. I've written half of my intro paragraph for the theatre history one, and I just don't know what to say. It's the lamest assignment ever. V-day should die.

I have cramps. They hurt like a bitch. They woke me up this morning, and I ended up missing the first aid course because I medicated myself to fall back asleep, and ended up sleeping through half of it. I threw up all day long, when I was supposed to be finishing research for both my papers. (both of which are late, btw)

I am such a lame college Pinto. I am a bad student. why can't I just work? I seriously wish that there were agents, and talent scouts at every performance ever, cause then I would know that I'm not succeeding because I'm just a bad actress, and I could change my career path. Then I wouldn't have to be sitting in this freakin library right now trying as hard as I am to write a stupid theatre history paper!

my back hurts. I'm hormonal and pissy. I want Ace.

Oresteia auditions are tomorrow. Jordan Gregoire wrote me a monologue to read for it. I'm so excited! Well, not for the auditions, but to read Jordan Gregoire's monologues. Friday, I somehow have to get up early for a This is a Play meeting, and do an English exam, which happens to be during the time when I'm supposed to be working. And I'm pretty sure that all my other exams fall during shifts, too! SUCKY! I don't know what I'm going to do! I have to call the office, and tell them that they'll prbably hyave to get someone else. They're going to fire me, I know it. I also have to sing for the auditions. Not looking forward to that. My voice is extrem-o substandard.

Hey, I made an msn space, and finally found brianna's! go me! I'm gonna go post on it. go procrastination! here's the link:http://spaces.msn.com/members/thegreatestpintoofall/

ok, off to finish my paper. before I wrote this paragraph, I did a bit more researching, and found this fabulous article by Betty Dodson that inspired me to do a whole new thesis! go me! unfortunately, there's this huge picture of a vagina, and a vibrator at the top, and when I opened it up, I thought it was porn, and nearly died, cause I'm in the campus library!

brain melting...

college is eating my gray matter. I canna handle researxch papers, and professors, and college! I just can't deal. I wish I could stay in bed forever, and only get up when I felt like it.


oh lordy lordy lordy.


Sean and I just had a rather volatile msn conversation. he wants all his stuff back. And by all his stuff I mean every photo we ever had taken together. not fair. why does he just want to forget it ever happened? it's not as if he's incapable of moving on. from what he told me, he's already well on the way to forgetting about me. why make me miserable, and give me a massive headache like right now. I almost started crying in thye campus library. the only reason why I didn't is cause Ace is right over there, and I didn't want him to see me crying. especially in a public place.

life sucks

feeling guilty

about so many things. firstly how bad a student I am. I get home at night, fully intending on writing one essay, or another, and the minute I sit, my head is on the ground, and I am asleep. some would call that exhausted. I call that lazy! I am going to fail all my classes, and have no right to live. I have not turned in a SINGLE thing in English, OR frickin theatre history. And my big term project is due next Tuesday. oh, lord.

the second thing, which I don't feel quite so guilty about anymore is Sean. I called him yesterday, and invited him out to lunch, or whatever, so that we could talk, as his last comment on my blog quite upset me. I talked it over a long time with Ace, and although I don't want to go anymore, I am going to. All I want to come of it is understanding on both our parts, and I'm so scared that that won't happen. I don't know what I'll do, if he begins to hate me like Geoff did. (if I may digress, Geoff gave me a hug yesterday and said he didn't hate me anymore, and even apologized! w00t!) I read his blog today, and read all about his life since we ended, which made me feel a bit better. Apparently, Tuula has a new kitten, which is SO COOL! Also, he feels closer to his beliefs, which is wonderful. I'll not deny it, I was holding him back from that.

On a happier note, The One Act Festival has begun. Last night was auditions, and I may or may not have found my actors for This is a Play (which I am directing). I have yet to speak to Jess, my director for Philadelphia, which I am stage managing. And I somehow managed to be cast in three different plays, which is two projects over the maximum that we're supposed to be allowed. I am playing Marcy, the dope-smoking slut in Jack's Pants; Mimsey in Plaza Suite (a nice easy one liner); and I have a role in What Colour Animal Are You, though I don't know which yet. The director Ashley is going to get her first choices together for a reading next week and then it'll be cast. I'm hoping for Jill, the lazy hardware store inheritee who loves windsurfing. I have a feeling Ashley might have me in mind for Bonnie though, which is the main character, so that would be cool, too. I was also offered the role of Arboghast in Geoff's play, which I turned down, because it was a trifle too large.

So I am very busy, to the point of neglect, and may I just say, I HATE Voice class. Also on my plate is an arrangement with Collective to learn a bunch of Christmas stuff (maybe with boys, maybe not) and go caroling (maybe for money, maybe not). Ace says he can probably get us the stage at Mal for a full-length performance is we ever want it, and as President of Satyr Players, he has the ability to promise that. I don't think we will though, not for this X-mas. Maybe in the spring, I think that would be sweet!

Anyways, I have actors to accost, and promise sexual favors to if they do my play, so I am off. Happy blogging, faithful readers!

puke cute

^^^ is me. ok. LOTS of news!

The Crucible was fantasmically orgasmo wonderful! I'll post some pics if Kevin Nearby will help me soon. I played Mary Warren! A lot of people will think, oh, that's not so great compared to Abigail (who I wanted in the first place) but seriously, she's a WAY BETTER role. For one thing, she's dynamic, and goes through a huge journey over the play while Abigail doesn't. Static static Abigail stays mean, and nasty, and doesn't change a bit! For another thing, stage time! When you think about it, Abigail really isn't that great of a character. She has the big Act 1, which is mostly just setting the stage for whats about to happen in Acts 2, and 3. Act 1 is her biggest part, and she only really commands three or four units of action there. In Act 2, she's darkly hinted at, then in Act 3, she has small, but pivotal role in the action, then in Act 4, Arthur Miller does away with her entirely! Mary, on the other hand is in Act 1 breifly, then has a huge peice of exposition in Act 2, which was nice cause it was the only time I got to play not-hysterical. Then she exits, and later in Act 2, she's brought back for a small peice of action, and then again later after everybody else exits, where there's this dramatic peice of theatre where she gets thrown to the floor!!!! Totally climactic, and wonderful! Act 3 is practically all about her. The attention shifts from others to Mary, then back to others, then back to Mary, then back to others, and then back to Mary again, until she gets this huge gigantic mental breakdown on stage, and has ANOTHER climactic moment!!! woo-hoo, theatre-gasm! Thankfully, she's not in Act 4, cause if she was, no sane actress would be able to play her. It is one monster freakin play.

So anyways, I played Mary the Great! And (sucks to your ass-mar, Tinnion), I got great reviews! seriously, the campus paper said I was one of the three performers who stood out the most, Ross gave me all these I-would-trust-you-if-I-ever-had-to-act-with-you compliments, which was super nice, and Ace said some amazing things!

...

yeah there's some stuff to be said about Ace, as well, but I'll get to that later.

So anyways, the run is over now, thankfully. This was seriously some of the craziest work, I've ever done. In addition to having a super-great role, I also helped build the stage (we ripped out the front seats in MalU Theatre, and built a second stage, and then built risers with seats all around the stage like a arena, or boxing ring;The Crucible in the round!), and Ross decided that because it was in the round, instead of having the actors come out from a backstage like normal, we would all sit on the sidelines, and watch the play like the rest of the audience. Now, we're talking about two-and-a-half hours of Arthur Miller naturalist political commentary being watched from an unpadded bench in a ridiculously tight Puritan costume (think bonnets), and doing so every day for two weeks, sometimes twice a day! I think MalU Theatre Program is AMAZING just for having the stamina to get through all that!

Closing was insane. I had to work that day, then go do our last show, and then right after, it is tradition that no one involved in the program leaves until the entire set is stricken. That means that we have to destroy everything we built for the show before leaving the theatre that night. So the show starts at eight pm, we go until ten thirty, and then have to rip apart a stage that be built ourselves, risers we built ourselves with audience seats screwed to them, take down the lighting truss, and remove the giant cross chandelier strapped to it, put all of the lumber and shit away and screw all the seats back in where they belong before leaving. Then we party!

So we were there until two thirty in the morning before we were allowed to leave, and then everybody went to closing p-tay at Carolyn's. I was feeling pretty darn queasy, so I didn't go, instead, I crashed in the green room.

So, the Crucible was amazing. I am no longer dating Sean Mantta. Yes, I know I've been ridiculously bad in posting, because broke up with him over two months ago. He asked me to marry him. I said no.

And one big reason why I did it is my next topic of conversation; Ace Martens. I've been dating him for like a month and a half now. Before I broke up with Sean, I felt very attracted to Ace, and I tried to fight it. I even told Sean about my 'little crush' because I thought if I was honest, it would keep me from doing anything terrible. It was a good plan, except then Ace drove me to work and we talked for an hour in his car, and then only a couple of days later, we stayed until 3 in the morning in the green room at the college just talking. I got to know him, and that was my downfall. I realized that what I was feeling was incredibly unfair to Sean, so I made the decision to break up with him.

I felt so terrible for what I put him through. But it was the right decision. Over the past while, with Ace, I've felt so happy. He's so different. What bugs him is different, what he doesn't mind is different, the way he treats me is different. I love being with him. He opens my car door for me, and pouts if I take the tab. And even though we are so happy together, we both understand that this is a time in our lives, and eventually that will change, and we'll be in a different time in our lives when we might not be so great for each other as we are now. I love that. I don't feel the pressure of thinking I am going to be with this ONE person for the rest of my life.

We do so much fun stuff together. I've come to realize that I need a boyfriend who is friends with my friends. I need to be able to party with my boyfriend, not just drag him along, and hope he'll enjoy himself. I love that Ace and I go out and do fun things together. He takes me on dates, and we get dressed up, and go to restaurants, and go for drives, and talk and laugh, and cuddle. I love that he has his own place. He is so independent. I got to meet his parents, and I didn't feel like I HAD to make them like me, because if they didn't like me, my whole life would be miserable! Not coming into contact with your boyfriends parents all the time is a relief (even though I did absolutely love Bonnie, and Ian, and Tuula).

Anyways, I have a class in fifteen, so I'll be going now. I am so happy lately!

lame

no one reads my blog anymore. shame.

Yes, SIR, Commander Safety, SIR!

so college is SUPER FANTABULOUS! It's filled with classes I like with lectures I UNDERSTAND, and people who make me dance with joy! The first week of classes we had this awesome mixer, which up-to-date Barbara has surely filled you in on. My impressions were largely obscured by the abount of alchohol I consumed that night. Yes I'll admit it, I was the obnoxious drunk girl. But I could still read by the end of the night, and got Caitlin (from Vancouver) and myself home safely with help from Leon (the second year Theatre History prof).

The projects coming up are quite daunting, but I'm still happy. For acting, we have to do a movement piece to music that I am terrified of. I had an ideza, but I am going to scrap it, and try and come up with something else. In Theatre History, we have to pick a play to study, then get together with other people who picked the same play and present a virtual production. You don't have to understand what that is, I barely do, and I REALLY REALLY HAVE to! lol. We might get to do the production on the radio here at Mal, which is cool. In Stagecraft, we have to put together an oral, and written presentation after being given five backstage terms to research. In Voice we have to put together a monologue that we'll use throughout the course when we do accents, and stuff. And in English we do a lot of lecture and discussion! No projects as of yet, THANK GOD!

The bad news is, my life outside school, work, and boy is officially over. I have classes Monday through Friday from ten-thirty in the morning to ten at night (three thirty in the afternoon on Thursdays). Starting the twenty sixth of this month, I'll have evening rehearsals for The Crucible on weeknights. Friday, I either set build all day, work, or spend precious time with Sean. On the weekends, I'm usually working. My free time is from eight to ten-thirty in the morning, and 3:30-7 on Tuesdays. Seriously. I thought last fall was bad!

The good news is, the people in my program are SUPER FABULOUS! Out of the second years, there's Pam, JC, Carolyn (sp?), Ace, and Sarah Fee. Some of the cooler first years are Jordan Davies (better known as Trish's Jordan), Biff from B2B, BARBARA, out-of-towners Amber and Caitlin who sing Broadway at every opportunity (Amber gave me an arrangement by George Emerson of Ain't No Mountain High Enough for SSA!), Chris Hewitson who is from Woodlands and sings in Jesse Janzen's band--we did the liquor run for the mixer and had lots of time to talk--, Lisa from Dover, Michelle from Cedar who knows Liz from work, and lots of other super-fun people!

Ok, I have to be done now because I still have to do Stagecraft research, and go eat a burrito with time to digest before Choir. Look at how responsible I am!

a word to the a-holes out there

Advertising within a comment is NOT COOL! I have discovered no less than two in the past half hour. Stop invading our lives with your mealy-mouthed buy-my-product CRAP, and try being a human being for once.

look out world, Pinto is behind the wheel!

and quite illegally, I might add! It all started a couple of weeks ago when I was bitching about how I needed to get my L to my mom. She was driving me to the bus stop, and asked sharply, "How much time tdo you have before your bus comes?" I said, "About five minutes, why?" Of course, she doesn't answer, just pulls sharply onto this little side road that isn't really a road, shuts off the engine, and snaps, "Get out." Well, maybe not snap. But that's what she said, anyway.

So poor bewildered me gets out of my seat, and I see her coming around the back of the truck with this mischeivous expression on her face! I swear I thought she was going to curb stomp me! No, I'm just kidding. That's when I figured out what she was up to. I got all excited, and jumped into the drivers seat.

My first lesson was basically me stalling twice. Not too exciting, hey? But w/e. The next time we went driving, my Mom went down to the Co-op by our house to trade a Crossword (lotto ticket). We sat at the back of the parking lot while she scratched it, and it turned out it was a twenty-five dollar winner! So in celebration, she let me drive around the parking lot! (which is perfectly legal, because a parking lot isn't a real road, so anyone can drive on them, and they can't be charged) Of course I stalled a bunch, but I finally got going! It was tres amusing because as soon as the car started moving, all I wanted to do was STOP! lol! But Mom wouldn't let me, and growled every time my foot got near the brake (*GET your foot off the brake! TURN, dammit! slow down!*) So I did many figure eights around the parking lots, and I maintained 2000 RPMs for almost eight minutes, went over speed bumps, turned sharply, and ran into NOTHING! woo-hoo! I was doing so well, that mom even let me shift up into second gear--and I did it without stalling!!!! (this was my second time driving EVER in a STANDARD no less! I think that's pretty dang good!) So I'm bombing around the parking lot at probably forty miles an hour (all I know about it was about 2500 RPM's. That's all mom would let me look at), and finally we stop and I drive all the way up to the Co-op, and park WITHOUT stalling! hee-hee-hee! All the excitement must have dulled Mother's wits, because she bought me a Caramel Aero bar to celebrate, which is now my favorite chocolate bar EVER!

Yesterday was my third ever driving lesson (still very much illegally), and this time, she took me back to the road I had my first one on, and parked at the bottom of a gentle hill. This time the lesson was, if I didn't maintain RPM's up the hill, I'd stall the car, and gravity would make it roll backwards in a terrifying terrifying way. SO--keep the RPM's up!

Well, the lesson ended up being, let the clutch out gently when starting up. Again, I stalled many many times before Mom took my seat, and made me place my feet over hers to feel how gentle I was supposed to let the clutch out. It didn't do anything right away, but somwething must have clicked, cause the next time I got going, I got going! I went up the hill, and made the car shudder pre-stall-like a couple times, but finally managed to get it up. (HA! get it up...)

ANYWAYS! We were fast approaching an actual legal road, and far be it for my Mom to break the law, so she made me pull into the driveway of the school that is by my house. And this was a real small entrance! Very intimidating, for someone who drives in the very middle of a two lane alley cause she's afraid of the shoulder! But Mom got me on the right side of the road, and when I pulled into the driveway, I made it without hitting anything, and drove through the parking lot very smoothly, going over another speedbump successfully. I pulled out, and went right back down the hill, which also scared me, because of--you know--gravity! But I still haven't hit a single thing! I'm getting good!

So now that I've had many driving escapades, I think I'll go get my L. I got paid today, so I have the cash All I need is the book to cram on, and the Mom to find the place for me! Then post-haste, am I EVER going driving! I'll have my N before you know it!!!!

oy!

tis been far too long! I'm sorry I missed the second annual skinny dipping p-tay @ Barbara's, but I found myself off work early with an hour to wait for the bus. I get home at five after midnight, and to stay on the bus all the way to Barbara's would have put me there at about quarter after. That was too late to drop in, I thought, as you guys could have already went, and stuff. I want to know how it was though!

Anyways, I just submitted most of my British Columbia Student Loan application. My username is the oh-so-witty PintoGoesToCollege. Just thought that needed mentioning. Gotta get my mom to finish her part of it, too. A lot of it was really confusing, and I'm nervous that I'm doing it wrong. However, after you get past the am-I-eligible-or-not junk, it gets pretty straight-forward.

Work has been going really well, lately. We got our privelidges (uh-oh--I forgot how to spell it!!!) suspended for two weeks which sucked beans (not you, Bethany!), but now they're back, and I spent my shift yesterday gorging on Screamers, whilst Amay called me a beast. A big, fat, acne-ridden beast. I am so gross even, that my car-accident scars have started to be covered by zits! EW! Look away! I'm hideous!

If it wasn't two-thirty already, I'd take a trip up to Dover to see the Suessical crew--but it's also Saturday. Bummer. Did you know, once this coming week is over, I'll have worked every day but two in the past two weeks! Isn't that h-core?! It's also really cool, because those two weeks are the two that my July 29th paycheck is going to be based on. This is good, because my paycheck this week was shockingly pitiful. I did the math myself, and I KNOW I made more money than that, so I'll ask for my paystub, and if everything seems normal, I'll interrogate Kelly about it. Cause I know how much I was supposed to have made.

KEVIN'S BACK!!!! I talked to him on the phone last night over my break! We spoke of many thing, though I didn't remember most of them for shock of hearing his voice again. There's a p-tay for him topnight, but unless someone can pick me up at work, I can't go. no buses. I tried hard to switch my shift to matinee, but no one could, and I don't like to call people at home. Other than Jordan. I have to call her today about something slightly work-related, but more BathTub Weekend related. ANYWAYS!

Speaking of BathTub weekend, I'm going to see the Sat evening show of Suessical, and then I'm going to swim to the bridge for the fireworks, with the rest of the crew, just like every year. Hopefully this year, my current significant other, won't be so douchely about things (see here for details and eye-hurtingly unspaced paragraphs). Then I'm going wherever the party is, and--entertaining myself. Uh-oh, I can feel the disapproval already. Not only Amay, but Kevin, too, now that he's back!

Updates on the Brianna-Rob situation, anyone?