bad vibes

they have been floating around EVERYWHERE infecting all with an odd sense of melancholy! Seriously, Mel noticed them at the p-tay last night, as did Barb, Brianna, and myself! Everyone is still unhappy, and/or on edge! Our party did NOTHING to alleviate that, as I had hoped...that makes me sad. :(

hmm, let's analyse the world:

Barb: has total reason to be melancholy. She is fighting with her best friend, and she has been forced to back off of (*) because of Laura who has dibs. However, she did have at least some fun last night. I have a strong feeling that she is not suicidal, nor is she an incredibly powerful girl witch with great talents at earth majik. Though I could be wrong...

Mel: also good reason. caught between two relationships, one that has died, and one that is struggling to live. Extraordinarily busy ALL the time, giving her reason to be pissy automatically. I strongly doubt bad vibes are coming from solely her, as she is very very good at setting her own personal feelings aside for things. Partly because she's a performer and the stage demands someone who can bottle their emotions. And partly because I don't think she likes to accept help from people; she is extremely independent. not the source of bad vibeage.

Brianna: slightly perterbed by current stalling and sputtering of the Aden-train. She DOES admittedly have the sheer force of personality necessary to be able to fill a party with bad vibes, however, I don't think she feels that strongly about it. She's disappointed, and sad, but not to that extent.

Laura: a little bugged cause of the (*) thing not going her way. and she also has bad self-esteem, and so she thinks that the (*) thing will never ever happen simply because it's her, and we all know that that is erroneous, but you know Gator. I do not think that she caused any extreme bad vibes, or even really contributed to them...she was too busy being determined to have fun last night.

The sky looks so pretty right now! There's this one big cloud above my house, and it is stained orange from the setting sun, and where the big cloud isn't, there's slate blue sky, and right above our house is a RAINBOW! how beautiful! and not only that, it is starting to rain! today is pretty but still very strange. The sky behind the house is like someone took sapphire blue, slate blue, and fiery orange, and just swiped them onto a canvas. It's absolutely gorgeous! It seems the weather is still reflecting everybody's moods...

I'm going to go download some mellow music.

All in all, a typical party, with the addition of Zed

So, last night was Gator's party of goodbye-summer-ness. *sob* I have to go school supply shopping today. How distasteful.

The party was pretty fun, when you factor out random bad feelings. Barbara was feeling bad aboutt he fight she'd had with one of her Barsby friends, Trish (whom I wish so badly would hang out with us more, because I do so enjoy her presence). I feel so horrid about that whole situation, because part of it is about how Barbara is constantly so wonderful to her Wellington friends, and yet is a total witch oftentimes to her Barsby friends. Now I understand Barb, because I have a habit of doing that as well. And understanding her behavior as I do, I am inclined to defend her, and say that in some ways her behavior is a very strange compliment because if Barb is anything like me, than her semi-bitch behavior is indicitive of the fact that she is comfortable with them in a closer way than with us (yes I realize I said the word "behavior three times in that sentence!). The behavior that Barb describes to me is very much like behavior between sisters, and in that way, I am inclined to advise Trish to attempt to view it as a compliment. I know this because I do the same thing with my girls. When I get stressed out, the people who suffer are my family (my mom especially), and my girls. A while ago, it was also Geoff, but not anymore. Now Laura, I think is understanding of this (lucky for me), but Brianna doesn't really think of it that way I don't think and when I become a witch, well she retaliates right back. This creates battles of epic proportions! But back to the subject...I understand Trish's point as well, and hopefully there is something I can do to help Barabar (crap) to get out of the witch habit. I don't want Trish, and Barb's other Barsby friends to be threatened by the Welly crowd. In fact, there have actually been parties at Barb's house that involve Barsy people + Welly people, and oftentimes, they just don't work out! The Barsby people are in one room, and the Welly people are i another. And poor Barb is caught in the middle! I feel kind of intimidated by them, because it feels like they are always thinking how strange we are in a bad way. I mean, I am no stranger to being thought bad of, but when I am attempting to be friends with new people so that my good friend doesn't have to split her friend groups in two, well being thought strange in a bad way is kind of debilitating. And I think they feel threatened by us because we are SO DIFFERENT from them, just being theatre people. It's kind of like we are "the other woman", and the Barsby crowd is Barbara's wife. And I feel so bad aboutt hat! I wish we could all get along!

Anyways! Back to the party! I was feeling odd, and wistful all night. I had assumed it was because of unsavory singledom, but it may have had other, unrecognized components. In any case, I do not feel the need to analyse my own feelings today...just everyone else's! Brianna apparently was also feeling like she was missing something. She doesn't know what it is, either...life is very odd for Collective right now. I don't know what to do with it! Maybe with the imminent return of school, and order, and schedule, things will calm down.

So, it was a normal party, with going to Uplands, and Spin the Bottle, and Truth or Dare, and the usual people coming with the addition of Zed, Lisa, and Nicole. I have never hung out with Nicole before, and the first time I met her, I dunno if she was in a bad mood, or whatever, but she didn't really acknowledge me the first time, so I had this preconceived notion of her that she didn't like me. But then I was very pleasantly surprised last night, when she showed up unexpectedly, and jumped right in with the Spin The Bottle fun! It's a good thing she's a theatre person cause she walked in right in the middle of Brad and Zed making out! (yes because of Spin the Bottle!) And in Truth or Dare, me and her talked a couple times. Oh yeah, and I made out with her. lol! What an introduction, huh? Oh well, those are the occupational hazards of being a Lower Branch of the Collective Tree! *the boys need not apply!* But anyways, my point is, she's just this beautiful person, a ton of fun to be around! She has this huge enthusiastic laugh that just enamoured me of her. I understand Geoff's interest in her now! I also found out all these interesting tidbits of information, as well... Such as Zed's awesome sexual experience, which I am not allowed to divulge. And the fact that Sasja Towe had a crush on me a couple years ago. That made me feel so good about myself! I dunno why other people are creeped out by that, but in my opinion you have not experienced life until you have been the crush of a bisexual/homosexual person. Ok, so maybe that was a little creepy. But w/e! I defy you all! Ok, back to the tidits of information, I also found out that Lisa likes Geoff and apparently, according to Geoff's blog, he reciprocates. I hold my reservations though, knowing the pitfalls of Scorpio/Gemini relationships. If Geoff bucks up, and comes to me, I can give him a few heads up, but I am not going to volunteer anything especially if he's all "eerm, I want distance..." Also--crud. What was that other thing? oh yeah, Kelsey and Jesse smoke. Jesse also told me that "l" names are sexy. Giving Laura, Llowyn, Lauren and Lisa MUCH sexier names than mine, even though mine has TWO l's! I knew my mom should have named me Leah. I just knew it!

So the party was fun, but not as much fun as is possible to have at a Collective party. Anyways, I drove Zed, and Babbara home, and because have a three seater truck (including driver, which I was NOT!), Barb had to sit on Zed's lap! hahaha! Whatever, they made jokes about it the whole way home, so I don't think there was any problem with it on either side.

When I got home, Llowyn was on msn! He was supposed to hopefully be at the party last night, but he didn't make it, for reasons understandable to me when he told me. His radiator cap blew up in his face, and now he has second degree burns over HALF HIS FACE!! isn't that awful? Well, anyway, other than the horrible news, we talked for anout an hour and a hlaf, andwe discussed such important things such as whom in Nanaimo he would ask out, given the chance (he lives in Vancouver). He was stubborn stubborn, and refused to tell me. Must have a Tuarus Ascendant or something silly like that. But I did finally narrow the group of individuals down. He is interested in the important ones (you know who you are), but I doubt that he is going to make a move himself, you two, so you're going to have to buck up, and take the initiative. Good thing though, he is SO adorable, and sweet! He said all these things that made me squeal like a silly little school girl! Like for instance, he was all like, "thank you for being patient with my insanity" or something like that, and I was like, "no problem, I could say the same for you," cause I'd been grilling him about the girl situation for like an hour at that point. And he was all like, "It's not a matter of patience, but of pleasure," and I was like, !!!!!!!!! awwww! yay! He also said other things that were sweet. Like at the beginning of the Great Inquisition, I was like, "but I am cute, and you want to tell me things! *sweet smile*" and he just said, "under other circumstances such as you being present, that oh-so-sweet smile might melt my resolve, but as it stands, your curiosity shall not be relieved!" So yes, let it rest at, he was extremely adorable all night long!

heh heh, I told interested parties about said conversation with Llowyn, and now she is interrogating me about it! haha!

Anyways, that is when I went to bed, which brings us to now. Hopefully I am going school supply shopping today, maybe with the Gator-Bator. I am off now. Goodbye, bloggers!

jeez

does anybody know what I've done to make Geoff so freaking hostile to me? I mean, come on, today I called him because Zed needed a ride to the party tonight, and he was entirely frigid to me. He asked me where Zed lived, and I said Prideaux Street, and he's like, "Anywhere specifically?!" in this really really mean voice. Like if I were writing a book, he would have "snarled" that. And I'm just like, "Well, I don't know his address..." and Geoff just attacks me, like, "Well, how do you expect me to pick him up then?" I was like, "I dunno!" I mean come on, all I'm doing is asking for a favor for SOMEONE else, it is not MY job to set up all the freaking details. So I look up Zed's address in the phone book for Geoff The Whiny Baby, just to placate him, because I want to make sure Zed actually can get to the party. I give it to Geoff, and he's all like, "Ok, I'll see what I can do."

Now I am actually worried that Geoff will blow Zed off just because I asked him for a ride! Now, I know that calling Geoff up, and asking him for a favor for a MUTUAL FRIEND is just oh-so-offensive, and I should never have been so bold as to ask someone that I have wronged so harshly, but you would think he could contain his bile long enough to have a simple conversation, but I guess not. I mean, I should have known that someone SO DEEP, who knows SO MUCH about everything could never ever be wrong. Silly me.

I dunno, as far as I am concerned if Geof is going to act the way he is acting he should take me out of his msn profile as his "pint sized best friend" because apparently I am the pint-sized bane of his existence.

yeah yeah, I know, NOW who's spewing out the bile?

Today is a freeway-driving kinda day.

I just wanna go go go go go.

Anyways, INTENSELY fun sleepover last night at the Gator's! It was our Princess Party! It was so great! Laura, me, Brianna, Spencer, Barbara, Mel, Lauren, Rose, Kourtenay, and Nicola all dressed up as Princesses, and when Gareth came, he got to be Prince Charming cause he was the only guy who had the confidence in his sexuality to attend! It was so much fun! Laura was Jasmine from Aladdin, Brianna was Glinda the Good Witch from, of course, The Wizard of Oz, Spencer was The Princess Bride, Mel was Snow White, and then Barb came later and she was Snow White, Rose was Ariel from The Little Mermaid, Lauren was Aurora from Sleeping Beauty, Nicola was Pocahontas (!), and Kourtenay was simply Queen Kourtenay because she wasn't really wearing anything but a tiara.

Anyways so we took a whole bunch of pictures with all of us dressed up, and then we watched The Prince and Me, and Ella Enchanted. The idea was to watch The Princess Diaries, and The Princess Bride as well, but we didn't have the movie-watching stamina to watch all of them.

Oh yeah! Who was I you ask? Well. I had forgotten that we were dressing up, so I arrived in my normal clothes. The first thing I thought of when I got in the door, and everybody was dressed up, was: "Give me a paper bag!" So, Laura-Gator's Mom made me up a paperbag dress, and a tin foil crown, and I was the Paper Bag Princess! It was funny, cause all the other "Princesses" had to had manners and such all night long, and I was all like *elbows on the table.* *chew with my mouth open* hahahaha.

So we watched our movies, and in between, we would have these question games. We played this oh-so-girly secret game where on person tells a secret that they know about another person, but as if the secret was about themselves. And whoever's secret it is, gets to go next. For instance, if I wanted to pass the turn onto Brianna, I would say, "I have a crush on one of my friend's brothers" and since it is her secret, she gets to go. It was so funny and girly!

After the second movie, we just sat around and talked for hours and hours and hours. We made this photo story of "The Birth of Collective". Basically the story goes that Barbara got hungry one day so she ate me. Then Laura and Brianna CONJOINED randomly, and out of their meld, birthed me. And Collective was born. If I can find a computer nerd who has favorable interactions with myself, I'll get him/her to scan it onto a disk so I can post it. It was the funniest thing in the world!

We just sat around talking until (I heard later) six'o'clock in the morning. I actually fell asleep at four thirty for which I felt like a wuss. I had strange dreams all night long...they involved me breaking glass windows, and floors, and then going to a subterranean theme park, and going on this slide that was supposed to last for an hour, but didn't. And then other random things happened. It was a very strange dream.

This morning, I woke up to Barbara throwing a pillow on my face. Joy! Then when she got me up, we went and jumped on Laura and sang annoying songs to make her get up, even though she actually never did. By the time I got up, almost everybody had left, and I hadn't even woken up! What a wuss I am!

Anyways, so that was my Princess Party Sleepover! I mean--I'm not four years old...*cringe*

Swam like a fish tonight...

Did some serious hanging out with 'lexis and the Foo tonight. We went swimming down at NDSS. Big mix up about the time and place, I ended up waiting about an hour and a half for them to show. Didn't know it, but they got off at the wrong school! They got off at Barsby! Silly hobbitses. Anyway, I called Mom in a rage asking for a ride home, and just as we're pulling out of the parking lot, who do I see approaching on foot? None other than my esteemed offendees, Foo, and Alexis. So I jumped out of the car, and ran to catch up with them. Luckily I caught up, and to make up for it, Foo paid my way into the pool. Very gentlemanly, I thought!

So we go in, and we decide to get right down to this business of diving. Serious stuff, this "fun". We met Ryan Litke again (Australian boy from Bio 11; has twin named Nicole). Ryan taught Foo how to do a backflip. They tried to teach me, and 'lexis, but 'lexis couldn't do it, and I was too chicken shit. We had contests to see who could reach the end of the pool after diving off the diving board without coming up for air. Me and Ryan were the ony two who could make it the whole way. I even dove off the high dive! Adventurous me! It didn't hurt half as much as I thought it was going to!

We also got quite offended by these irritating little ten year olds who had obviously taken diving lessons who would do a fancy dive off the boards to show off, then as anyone else dove off screa, "You suck!" or something to that effect. We took extreme exception to that, and 'lexis issued annoying girl a small challenge, and it was not met. Being the victors, and having made our point, we moved on. Ryan met this girl that he kept hitting on. I thought it was cute!

Afterwards, me, 'lexis, and Foo waited for his mom to pick us up for quite a long time while mocking these stupid twink-ass preteens who were sitting in front of the pool getting drunk. The cops came, and we laughed meanly. This random group of rowdy guys also came and loitered around while we were waiting discussing important issues such as fire bomb whisky, and such. One of them singled me out: they had just arrived, and one of the boys asked another of the boys what time it was, and that boy said, "I dunno what time it is, but that girl," (pointing to me), "has been here for hours!" I just burst into laughter, looked at Foo, and was like, "OH! There is your proof! Waited and waited for an HOUR AND A HALF!" and he was just laughing. They also told Foo to cut his hair, and called him a hippie. However, they were harmless, and rather entertaining, so we just took it in stride.

Finally we just gave up on his Mom, and began walking to my house where Foo and Alexis would call their Moms. However, his Mom finally tracked us down, wehn we were about five minutes away. She dropped me off, which brings me to now.

Fun fun night, and about as granola-y as Foo gets. So all of you who think Foo is bad for me (*cough cough* Geoff *cough*), boo on you, because tonight was fun-filled, and substance-free! Oh how CAPP!

Off to wet my hair and begin my deep-conditioning treatment, cause my hair is beyond fried. ttyl!

I need more coffee...brb

k, back, with a full supply of coffee. In the past roughly twentyfour hours, I have discovered something interesting...

my girls, who you all know refers to the Collective, both have comments on their blogs by people who I have never heard before. Interesting. In fact, Gator even has one who CRITIQUES her blog!!! I was so excited! I thought to myself, now that, that is exactly what you need, Alleah Poirier. You need a blog critic. Someone who DOESN'T know me. So I think this Matthew Vant person...He ought to be PERFECT for the job (have you noticed a slight tendency towards capitalization here?). Then I thought, it is possible that he may have found my blog through one of the links that Laura has put on her blog from hers to mine, in which case that would be perfect except for the fact that I haven't heard from him yet. So...here is my plea. Matthew Vant! If you are out there. If you are indeed a real person, and not a silicon-based alien from a different galaxy masquerading as a human... If you are out there, give me a shout! Even if for no other reason other than that you said Laura-Gator had a "classy" tone and I totally agree with you!

Does anyone else detect a slightly frenzied tone in the previous paragraph? Great. Next thing you know I'll be tearing my hair and having convulsions.

In other news, I have poisoned my mother's vocabulary! Hahaha. She now talks like me like a crazy mofo! Seriously, I have never once heard her call Monkey, Michael, or Foo, Colin, even though those are their real names, and she knows their real names. Also, this morning when I discovered a dreadfully missed Celine Dion album in her possession and inquired as to why she had not given it to me, she replied, "Pure spite and bile," and gave me a *because-I'm-cute-and-you-want-to-feed-me* grin! Shock! Shock, and pride! That's MY look of unparalleled cuteness! Is this really MY mother who prides herself on grammatically correct speech talking like oh-so-grammatically-incorrect me? I mean, come on, I am the only one in my house who uses the word bile anymore. My influence is spreading! Today, my mother--tomorrow, THE WORLD! mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!

Again, slight leanings towards insane babbling in the last paragraph.

Great, thanks a lot, Matthew Vant, now you've got me critiqueing my own blog. It's a mad house! A MAD HOUSE!!!

Anyways, I am endeavoring to cut down on my crazy run-on posts of elongated doom, so I shall run off now to rock in a corner repeating the word banana plant over and over now, ok? Have a fun day!

all important results of the dating test!

so yeah, like I just did this test, like this dating test, and it, like, told me that if I sent it on, and, like, did it, I would have, like, be, like lucky in love, and stuff, and if I didn't, I'd be, like, unlucky in love, and stuff. Like isn't that crazy? I totally think I should do it, like RIGHT NOW, because you know how important, like, these chain letters are! *giggle giggle*

yes, I know, shoot you now. *bam!*

ok, in all seriousness, here are my results:

1)That I like pink and green means that I am sexy AND brainy!
2) that I like pizza means that I am wild.
3) that I would live in New York means that I am busy.
4) that I like dogs means that I am loveable.
5) that I like to drink Coca-Cola means that I am hot.
6) Brad (?) is going to ask me out after I send this (serious serious confuzzlement there...)
7) Brianna and Laura will hate me if I don't send this.
8) EMMA LOVE will be my friend if I send this (...um ok)
9) I have to send that letter to sixteen people
10) I am not telling you my wish!

so there you have it. me in chain letter form. gotta start sending those forwards. we all know that the balance of the world is in my hands. GOD FORBID THAT I DON'T SEND THE CHAIN LETTER!!!!

Now I have to put on some glasses and start nerding.

oh, Foo...

so yesterday rocked the socks of all involved! hung out with Foo ALL DAY, hopefully much to the consternation to my ex. How juvenile, now I am trying to piss him off. Silly me.

woke up at a bleary SEVEN TEN in the am. Day basically consisted of bus, Foo's house, Tim Horton's, Mac's, more bus, EFAD'S, I, Robot, Spencer's Gift Shop, more bus, calling personages, more Foo's house, the crappiest/best movie in the entire world, Xena and Hercules (the cartoon one; seriously worth every single bit of cheese that they spew at you from all angles JUST for the song that the Titans sing!), hanging out in a tot lot with Foo + 'lexis-girl, more bus, some exposing Foo to the toxic waste that is my family and the intense cuteness that is my dogs, and then a whole bunch of swimming. Met a guy there (much too young, and much too irritating to be of any value romantically) that we had diving competitions with all night.

Anyway, that was my day in a can. I tried to tell you about it in intense detail, but I just had no patience for it. There was one noteworthy moment, though, at Woodgrove. Foo was on the phone, calling Cam to see if he wanted to hang out with us, and I noticed Geoffrey walking out of the mall a couple of feet away. I kept my mouth shut, and Geoff didn't notice me. After he was gone, I started pounding Foo's arm, and pointing at Geoff. He just looked at me, and grinned this grin that was all like, "oh, he'd be so mad if he saw us!" Geoff hates the fact that I hang out with Foo. He actually refers to Foo as stoner-jerk Foo. How infantile. However, upon looking back at it, it may be that he did in fact notice us before I noticed him, and simply ignored us with the contempt we deserved as he walked by, but knowing our thick Moddle boys, it isn't very likely. And even if that is what happened, then he is even more bastardly than I had previously judged him. I think now he is absolutely furious at me because of the fight we had the other night. He wanted to know all the sordid details of my personal PERSONAL life since the breakup, and I refused to tell him, and he got pissy and made assumptions. Therein I started ripping his face off in true Alleah-fashion. Scary me. *sigh*

well that's it for today. I am off to check my email. My, my am I certainly sick and boring. yikes. (my my that boy has certainly ga-row-an-ah! oh Brianna...)

I'll be your bottlecap over troubled plasma

wow, I just found out that Collective would both rather kiss me than each other! strange. Barbara found that out at Geoff's today.

have you ever noticed that Barbara is the most difficult name in the world to type? I always end up typing Brabarbar, or something ridiculous like that. It is so defiant of my poor typing skills, with its mere three letters, and it's deceptive simplicity to vocalize. grr... That's it, I vow to just call her Babar for the rest of her life. Or Barbarwa. Or Babrabar. Or however the hell else I happen to mis-type her name. I defy you all.

Hopefully, there shall be a p-tay coming up soon in time for Llowyn's passing through town on his way back home. It should be really fun, although I have a notion that scandalosity may be brewing between a couple of my closest friends. I hope it does not come to a head at the p-tay. That would suck big time.

After all, this p-tay is partially to relieve the extreme suckiness of life experienced by all lately. I mean, think about it: Laura is sad because of Kevin/(*). Brianna is sad because of Aden. Aden is sad because of not wanting a relationship, but wanting Brianna. Geoff is sad/mad, cause I'm a douche. I'm sad/mad cause Geoff's a douche. Foo is being exiled to evil private school of shittiness. Babrabar is sad cause of (*). Life just generally sucks a whole lot! And the evil evil gloomy dismal weather of unhappiness is not helping matters any, so a p-tay shall hopefully lighten moods! It's what we all need, I say!

grr... nobody goes to the Foo + Alleah blog. No comments! None at all! Meh, whatever, it's not that interesting a read. Except for possibly the whole stoned post part. That has some amusing parts...

Why does Geoff have to be so tunnelvisioned? I'm having yet ANOTHER argument with him, and he's all like, I am right, you are wrong, there is nothing in the world that can ever make sense other than what I SAY can make sense! He has no basis in reality! Not to mention the fact that not a thing I have said to him all night has actualy sunk in, and all my attempting to get him to understand my point of view has been completely in vain because he's like, I'm right. End of question. He won't pause to even consider that I may even have a POINT!

grrr. anyways, I have to finish up this ridiculous fight with Geoff so I can get to bed, and maybe get up on time tomorrow. What a thought, hey? ttyl, bloggers.

Let the Dysfunction Begin

I hate the world.

I am sorry for this bile-ridden, rage post of doom, but I have not had a very spectacular morning at all.

This day started out craptastic, and when I say craptastic, I mean absolutely horrendously, vicously, death-in-a-pretty-wrapped-basket crappy. I woke up this morning to my sister screaming at me because she could not find this "modem" thing that she was supposed to give to some technician guy for some stupid reason. She asked me if I knew where it was, and I was like, "mrrgh, no I don't, go away so I can sleep." pretty reasonable, right? I mean, she freaking woke me up!

So she's all like, "it was in the front hallway, and you said that you cleaned the hallway up, so you must have seen it, sometime, didn't you?" I was like, "no, I didn't see the modem, and I didn't clean up the hallway. get out so I can sleep!" so she finally left, and I was like, ok, whatever, sleeping now. I wasn't terribly upset about anything at that point just tired.

Well she continues to search for her AWOL modem, and I can hear her downstairs, freaking out and screaming at nothing because she cannot find her stupid modem. Finally I hear her clomping back up the stairs, and I'm like, goddamn, you better not come in this room, and what does she do? Burst in, freaking out at the top of her lungs, screaming, "I can't find my modem, and I have to give it to the guy," (?), "and it was in the hallway, which you said that YOU cleaned up, so you must have moved it, or touched it or seen it or something! Tell me where the modem is!"

!!! I was just like, wtf, you bitch! What gives YOU the right to come storming into MY room, where I am doing nothing but SLEEPING, and accuse ME of taking YOUR goddamn modem for SOMETHING TO DO???!!! So I screamed, "get the fuck out of my room if you are going to be such a stupid bitch! You have no right to come in here, freaking out at me like that!" and she scrramed something back at me, and I scrramed something back at her, and finally I just stand up, walk to the door, grab it, she's standing at the door screeching like insane succubus whore from the depths of hell, and I try to shut it, saying simply, "goodbye."

well she grabs the door, wrenches it out of my hands, walks up to my face, screams somthing in my face, and pushes me backwards onto the bed.

...

I flipped. I jumped off the bed, leapt on her, and started punching her as hard as I could, screaming at her to never touch me like that again. She starts punching me back, and we're fistfighting in the hall, and finally I'm like, where the hell is Mom? So I go downstairs, and try to find her so that someone can mediate this ridiculous thing, and she's nowhere to be found. What the hell? So now I have to deal with this crazy bitch all by myself? So she comes downstairs, still shrieking obscenities at me, she grabs my arm again. I freak out again, and start swinging.

I finally get entirely sick of this bullshit, and walk into the den to call 911. I was not dealing with this crap! How can she justify walking into my room, accusing me of taking something, and then attacking me? I stand by my decision to call the cops on her, btw. I made the decision in my head, and no sooner than thinking it, was on my way to do it. There was no hesitation, and I am not sorry for it. I feel I was in the right.

So I pick up the phone, dial 911, and as soon as my sister realizes what I'm doing, leaps on me, and tries to wrestle the phone out of my hand. Now come on, what do you think a dispatcher is going to think with a girl screaming, "I need help, my sister's attacking me, 908 Hecate!" and someone obviously pushing her around from the way her voice sounds? Well, needless to say, the police were there within five minutes. I thought the dispatcher hadn't heard anything, so I had gone over to the neighbor's house to use their phone. The whole time, Sherayna is hanging out the dining room window with Nicky, shrieking things at me, like, "look what you went and did, you stupid little bitch, now the cops are coming," and other things not printable in this blog. All I did was finger her.

Well, when they got there, I was waiting for them out front. The cop gets out of his car, and is just like, "so what's going on here?" Of course, what does Sherayna do? She leaps into her side of the story. She doesn't bother telling him what happened, only, "I'm sorry, my little sister happens to have a big mouth, and she doesn't know when to shut it She's sixteen, and a little theatrical," (no shit that's what she said!), "and she unfortunately she seems to think she has the right to let the entire neighborhood know when we are having a fight withthe volume of her carrying on."

That is very close to exactly what she said. No explanation as to what happened, just blame. It's all her fault, officer, look how innocent I am, I'm carrying a baby.

He didn't say anything, just looked at me, and said what happened? I had just stood there through her entire tirade silently, so already she looked a bit like a fool for accusing me of something that I was not presently doing. I think the fact that I was standing there in my pjs, no shoes or socks on my feet, no glasses, and shaking like a leaf helped my credibility a little.

So i told him my story. Exactly what I just told you. Well, the ending was a little anticlimactic. Because niether of us had any obvious marks on us, he didn't offer to allow me to press charges. He asked us what our plans were now, and I said, "I want to get the hell out of here for a little while, I cannot be in this house anymore." So he told me to go and get dressed, and go somewhere else for a couple of hours to cool off.

So I did. God only knows what Sherayna told him while I went and got dressed. For that matter, God only knows what she told Mom when Mom got home!

I walked downtown, got onto a bus, and somehow ended up at Geoff's house. I don't remember anything. I don't remember which bus I took, although I'm pretty sure it was the number two, cause I ended up at the bottom of Nottingham Rd, and I didn't change buses at all. I started walking up the road, and I only woke up when I saw a blue minivan go by, looked in, and saw Geoff at the wheel. Then i realized where I was, and decided to go home. The next bus didn't come for a full hour, so I just sat on the bus stop, thinking. It was unpleasant to say the least. Unfortunately, about five minutes before my bus came, Geoff showed up, asking why I had come to his house, and acting all distant, and hate-like. All I could tell him was, "I dunno." over and over again, and "I came here cause I was sad." that's all I could say cause my brain just would not process his questions. My bus came, and I got on it, and all he did was just stare quizzically at me through the window until I pulled away. I felt bad.

On the bus ride home, I started to feel human again. When I got off at City Centre, I saw quite a few people I knew, but whom I didn't want to tell about my morning. Talking to them actually helped my brain start functioning again, cause I had to at least attempt to act normal. I saw Barb just before I got onto my bus, and she knew there was something wrong with me right away. Friend of the week? Barb, for sure. I mean, she doesn't know anything about my shitty morning, but she knows I had one.

I got home, and Mom was in the den with Sherayna. I don't know what my sister told Mum, but, like I said to Mom, whatever it was was either incomplete at best, or an outright lie at worst. The first thing Mom said to me, was, "whatever you do, Alleah, keep family sqaubbles in the family,"

I was so shocked! I was like, "don't you dare try to put the blame on me. I was in the right."

Eventually, I just walked out of the house, and hung out with the dogs. I was not going to listen to anything Mom has to say WITH Sherayna in the room, because whatever it will be will be biased against me. That's always the way it's been with fights between me and Sherayna. Mom has never, not ONCE taken my side against Sherayna in an argument. Even though, well come on, complaints against her cleanliness are pretty open-close, right? Diapers, baby food jars, kid's clothing are pretty easily traceable back to her. And yet, for asking her (note, asking, NOT complaining) to clean them up is somehow my fault. Well, back to the point, I figured if Mom wanted to talk to me, she could talk to me on my own ground without Sherayna interfering with what I was saying.

So I told her my story, and frankly, I believe she agrees with me on a lot of it. I don't think Sherayna told her the whole truth about anything that happened.

So anyways, that has been my horrible horrible morning. I am sorry for the change of tone. Fun With Pinto has become Oh God, Now I Have to Listen to Pinto Whine Blog of Crappiness.

life sucks. I'll be funny tomorrow.

do do doo, boredom sucks big time.

today is a nothing day. the sky is nothing, the ground is nothing, the chair I think I might be sitting on is nothing. boring boring boring. I am bored. bored bored bored. derob. that's bored backwards.

I keep thinking about certain people. Rather curious to know the opinion of recent events from one person. Hoping that another person finds out nothing about me ever from anybody.

cleaning (kind of) the den today, and found (ooh, cheery day) a newspaper clipping from when my house burnt down. how happy-making. *happy talkin talkin happy talk, talk about things you like to do.*

watched a cool movie last night. The Shipping News. involved nightmares, and ghosts, and pirates, and incest, and curses. woo-hoo. and journalsim. clap clap clap.

explained rudiments of astrology to Barbara today. also finally got a shelf into the back room so that we can organize it. Foo just told me that if someone had told him about someone named Alleah, the person that he would imagine would be me. great. I am an Alleah.

Foo really needs to get out of his house really badly. He just worked out the number of years between every palindrome year. Apparently there are 110 years between 1991--OH!! his plan is foiled! Cause the next palindrome year after 1991 is 2002! hahaha! twenty years! not 110! burn on Foo.

ok, maybe I need to get out of my house, too.

in other news, we have now established that Llowyn is the coolest Collective newbie on the PLANET! Anybody who can hang out with a roomful of Collective for the first time and still be able to act out a tip from the Kama Sutra in front of a houseful of total strangers is AWESOME.

crap. it's raining just to spite me. it isn't raining where Foo is. that is NOT fair.

wow, am I ever bored. I am even too bored for coherency.

urgfh.

I don't remember the purpose for this post.

goddamn, I hate my stupid family. I mean, really, is it that hard to just clean up once in a while?

they are stupid. oh yeah! I remember the purpose now!

I have decided to make another link post, because I have many more links now. here I go. link away, peeps.

PEOPLE I KNOW:
Laura
Brianna
Barbara
Foo
Kevin (except he doesn't post too much anymore cause he's in Taiwan)
Ty
Brad
Amanda
Amay
Bethany
Sean
Geoff

FUN PLACES TO GO:
the blog of funny
the blog of not posting much
the site of LMFAO

there you are. now you have entertainment for hours, surfing the curl of blog. that made no sense.

my armpits are desensitized!

sorry, Gator-Bator, you are too late to recorrupt me with granola! tonight I hung at Barb's house with her, Gareth (my little rutebega!), Geoff, LLOWEYN!!!! and other random Barb friends. Oh, Laura-Gator, I am SO sad you were unable to attend!

so the day started out pretty normally with the Mom accosting my comfortable foot under its warm covers, and forcing me to get up, because her and Sherayna were "going out". It still defies my understanding how one separate entity's geographical placement on this earth can affect the physical and psychological needs of another separate entity. In other words, goddamn, I wanted to sleep.

But I love my mom, and she didn't get mad at me for being an irresponsible jerk of a teenager, so I obliged her. I made my way downstairs, and promptly bitched, and moaned and dripped at every single thing in sight, but at least I made an attempt to do it in a charming manner! That makes me...kind of cool, doesn't it?

That day I really did nothing but blog all day, talk to Foo a couple times on the tele (poor Foo who has been extraordinarily grounded with punishments equalling those of the Apocalypse to come), blog some more, walk the annoying dog of irritating death, blog some more, clean the dining room floor, and vacuum the whole house. I had intended to get to the dishes eventually, and I did put one load in, but in this house...one load of dishes is never enough. So kitchen is still revolting pit of grossness.

...when suddenly there came a ring of the phone! It was Geoff! And Lloweyn screaming random obcenities in the background! no, just kidding, all the embarrassing first impressions are my forte, thank you very much. All he screamed in the background was, "wow I can hear you from all the way over here!" not much of an obcenity, is it?

anyways, there had been a tad bit of a scheduling conflict, with myself overbooking myself. I had agreed to Barbara to come over to her house for this random party-type thing she was having, but I had also agreed to Geoff to come over and hang out with him and Lloweyn. So, having a small conendrum, I made some calls, and typed on some Messenger, and eventually worked it out so that Geoff and Lloweyn could come over to Barb's! Everything worked out.

So Lloweyn came and picked me up IN HIS CAR! THAT IS HIS! AND NO ONE ELSE'S! AND THAT HE CAN DRIVE WITHOUT HIS PARENTS PRESENT! sorry. not trying to make a point to Geoff or anything...

I finally met the Lloweyn, and know what I did? urgfh. this was an all-time low. Sherayna had just arrived home, and I was already a tad resentful from having to pick up her children's crap all day. And she arrived with a friend in tow, who had another enormous load of children with HER!!! I mean, she brought this poor woman to a house that is festering with ill feeling, all the kids have colds, Sherayna hasn't done a single dish since we got home from Virginia, (it's been entirely myself, or Mom doing everything) and they're supposed to interact there? so, suffice it to say, my patience was a tad strained at that point. I mean, gimme a break. I did spend that afternoon cleaning the house, and with roughly--eight kids I think there was--storming the house? Well, the last thing I said to her on my way outt he door, was "don't mess up my house!" what a first impression for Lloweyn, hey?

however, it seemed not to matter, as we arrived at Barbara's (after some tad bit convoluted directions from yours truly) in the middle of a heated game of asshole. the energy having already been raised, I of course jumped right in, and Lloweyn got to see all of us right away at our best--worst?--but all was good, because he was amused and entertained by us at our best--worst?

there were some serious hijinks that night...among the best were Llowyn and Gareth acting out advice from the Kama Sutra, Trish dressing Gareth up in Barbara's clothes, and us taking pictures of said events. Also, Llowyn exposed me to the wonders of twentieth century classical violin. lovely lovely lovely. I've been listening to some classical guitar lately, but that's pretty much because of Paddy. I forgot just how much I love violins. Bach's Concerto in D Minor for Two Violins is one of my favorite concertos. To be honest, I just love the entire string family. My old frined Wilson Pascoe should be releasing a CD soon compiled entriely of songs performed by himself, and a cellist...should be orgasmic in it's awesemity.

Anyways, I started this post like two days ago, but I am going to finish it now. I have been blog surfing for a while. I always enjoy reading the blogs of the twins, Amay, and Bethany. I dunno what it is, the way they write is so unique to them...it's something in the delicate touch of the language that is so relaxing to read...or I'm a freak. That's possible, too. Sorry, if that creeped you out, Twins!

Silly silly Geoff says I am being weird because I have been hanging out with Foo lately. Admittedly, I am reacquiring habits which I thought I had surpassed...but I don't particularly consider it a danger. I personally think that Geoff is being a little psychotic about the whole deal. And he's blaming a lot of it on Foo, which is entirely not fair. I mean, Gator hung out with me and him the other day, and she's not hard core against him! And at this point, I'd trust her judgment a lot quicker than I'd trust Geoff's...

I'm totally jonesing over classical music right now. All I want to do is go out and buy some Bach. And some Mozart. And others...if I could just walk into Sound Heritage Music downtown, pick up a bunch of CD's and listen to them, and decide if I want to buy them or not, I would be in heaven. Actually, I'd also like to find some good barbershop that I've never heard before. Maybe some jazz, but not as urgent a priority as classical, or barbershop. I dunno. I just really really want to start filling my CD collection out again. It's been almost six months since the fire, and I still only own two CD's to my name. And I'm sorry, the Arrogant Worms, and local band Last to Leave (gotta love 'em) are just not enough to listen to every single day.

Anyways, I am done ranting about music. Actually maybe I'm not. I really wish I had a CD burner. Actually, if I knew how to use one, I could probably just ask Laura to use hers all the time, provided I supply the CD's. I have this huge list of songs that I want to burn. I mean, hey, I am not going to go and buy an entire CD for one or two songs, now am I? There are only a few bands whom I can lusten to from start to finish. It's part of the criteria for something to be one of my favorite bands...:) I *heart* music. I also need to find a really FANTASTIC choir to find some CD's of. For instance, if I could ever listen to Wellington Choir without pointing out all our flaws, I would probably buy a CD of us. But I am in Wellington Choir so I am required to be le perfectionist du annoying. But...I really love harmony. Other than certain barbershop groups, and A cappella + (who do not have any CD's out), I have never been able to find a good vocal group that I could just listen to. It makes me a little neurotic. Actually, that's a lie. Almost any true Southern Gospel Choir is up for dibs in my book. Gospel is pure orgasm in glorious glorious harmonic form (is that sacriligious?).

So, really what has this outpouring of desires accomplished? What have I learned? Well, for one thing...I like...music. Apparently of every kind imagineable. And for another thing, I would like to own...a lotta music. A lotta lotta music.

My mom is sulking cause I won't let her have the computer. meh. She'd probably fall asleep on the keyboard anyway. Yes, that's me, I am an Internet Tyrant.

ok, I'm really just nattering about nothing now, so I'm going to go play a couple web games, and then slink off to bed. goodnight, bored bloggers.

(good god, I'm spreading the bored disease!)

furry anarchy pain!

oh, man, the utter inability of today's youth to do something as simple as spell...we found that phrase written on a bridge in Sharpie sometime two days ago.

so yes, the past two days may come to equal painful painful death in the weeks to come. yesterday, I went out to the lake for Lake Day. Pathetic turn out, by the way. Shame on all you lamers who were probably too lazy to come! however, Brianna, Barbara, Gareth, Mel (for a little bit), Spencer, Aden, Foo, and Foo's friend Pat. (not Paddy Barry) did show up. Small group for us, but still enjoyable. Tons and TONS of interesting teenage fun in the form of pushing each other off the dock many times.
Plus, threatening the group of irritating preteen simian subspecies, with whom we were forced to coexist, with prostate cancer if they swam under the dock. Quite enjoyable to be a modern dock tyrant.

Foo got the munchies, and me, him, Aden, and Pat all walked to the Chevron by the highway. Sucks to Parks and Rec's ass-mar, not having yummier food closer. Foo bought copious amounts of food to generously share with the group. Coming back, we saw this ridiculously dilapidated house that Foo wanted to break into and vandalize. Oh, the values of youth! We didn't then, but Foo vowed to do so in the near future.

After returning to the lake, swimming some more, and eating food, we all decided to head out. By that time, the group had dwindled to Brianna, myself, Spencer, Aden, Foo, and Pat. We moseyed on over to run-down shack of grossness, and Foo, Pat, and I went exploring. It was yucky inside, and we found an icky bathtub that Foo wanted to carry out into the middle of the street in the middle of the night, for some random fun. Spencer, Aden, and Brianna chose to shun us by standing in the street and singing Rocky Horror Picture Show songs.

So, details are not necessary, but suffice it to say that Foo, and Pat, and to some extent, myself took out some teenage angst on pitied house of disrepair. Finally, we parted ways, with Spence and Brianna returning to the lake to await Spencer's mom's pickup, and Aden going with me, Foo, and Pat to become corrupted in our nefarious presences.

We all decided to go to Foo's house to hang out, and somewhere along the line, we picked up Talissa (girl I knew from Music Man (what a retarded name for a musical), and that Aden knew from Copa Cabana). So with Talissa, we all made our way to Foo's house, stopping along the way to see if a random dude named Allen wanted to hang out with us. He didn't. So we got to the Dobson residence, and drank lemonade, and ate burgers while being molested by wasps out on the porch. Foo, and Kevin's Dad, Grant, showed us his rather morbid side by murdering a poor wasp with an electrical-death tennis racket, while clad in nothing but a housecoat. How performance arti-ish.

After copious amounts of massage by Aden, and talking about the Evil Dead movies, eventually Talissa left, and Foo, Pat, Aden, and myself were left at odds.

Foo's mom decided to be death by wanting Foo to stay home that night, so we decided that we needed to do some sneaking around. He told her that we were going down to Departure Bay Beach (which we actually did do), and he would be back by ten. She allowed this small concession to Foo's freedom, and we were off. Along the way, we went to mini-Paddy, Cam Ferguson's house, and picked him up. Actually, looking back, through my sleep-fogged memory, I believe the initial reason for stopping there was to convince Paddy to boot for us, but the Cam was an added bonus. (especially for me...you don't get to know what i mean by that!)

We went down to the beach through the ravine. Foo and Cam broke a lot of sticks, mostly on park signs, and trees, but I believe a couple sticks were broken upon people's appendages. Although, maybe not. Stupid inferior memory from two days ago!

When we emerged from the ravine/park thing, we came upon a disgruntled citizen, who had heard us screaming, and breaking things in the forest, and inquired as to the state of Foo's mental health. That was amusing, however, we got the message, and obliged said disgruntled citizen by leaving as soon as possible.

We stopped in 7Eleven (why, oh why, when that name is basically made up of numbers, must it be spelled with a mixture of numbers, and letters? does that make the founders of 7Eleven cool? I think not) to get some random candy. Aden shared his watermelon candies with us. How sweet. I like him. He didn't really do a lot of stuff that I noticed other than have a sword fight with Foo with sticks, and give me an orgasmic massage, but still, hanging out with him was nice. I like him, I think, he'll make a good friend. I approve, Brianna.

Then we made our way along the beach front to go out to Smoker's Point. Stupid tide was up, so our travel was marked with rock climbing, cement-wall scaling, wading, and some random running through people's yards thrown in just for good measure. Why couldn't we have just gone through the path by the road? Silly boys who enjoy seeing wussy girls injure themselves to keep up.

Hanging out there was quite enjoyable, and not ONLY for the reason all my granola-packed responsible friends are thinking of. We saw a heron, which was magical. I love wild life! However, my esteemed offendees did not appreciate nature's work of art, and demonstrated lack of intelligience by screaming at it. Except for Pat. He was the one who saw it first, and pointed it out. Good Pat. Want a biscuit? Sit, boy, sit! We also did a ton of wading in really nice-feeling water. Sitting on rocks, and dangling tootsies in water was really nice in a non-pot-smoking kind of way. Anyways, Pat was totally raring to get high, so as soon as we were there, he started rolling. He lit up, and passed it around. It was kind of pathetically rolled, if you ask me, but hey, wtf do I know about the subject?

There's a random swing there, and Foo, and Cam were playing on it. Aden had to be home by eight thirty, I think, and when we got there, it was already nine'o'clock, so he had to go after a tiny amount of hanging out, for which I was saddened. Also Cam perched on a rock and announced to us all that he was a flamingo, and that we should all pose on the rocks, and hold hands. So we did. He was a flamingo, I was a bush, Foo was a tree, and Pat was a rock. Which was very telling of his mental state at that point. We all held hands until silly Foo broke the circle of nature. Cam was pissed. Then we all sat on a rock, and hung out until it got dark.

Getting back was problematical, and we went the easy way! If we had gone back the way we had come, I would have died. Or simply lost a sandal. But as it went, we took the path back to Hammond Bay Rd., which happens to go through someone's driveway. Anyways, it was already dark, and the only illumination we had was someone's lighter, so we made Foo, and/or Cam lead with the lighter so that we'd be able to find our way through irritable bramble-laden pathway. I think I acquired a new record of scratches, and injuries just in that small amount of time, alone. Anyways, we made it out, but unfortunately were way too loud for our own good, and we made disgruntled citizen #2 (the one who's driveway is part of the path) angry at us, and tell us to go somewhere else. We tried to, but in the dark, and general sense of disorientedness, we ended up in a compost heap, after which disgruntled citizen #2 took pity on us, and allowed us to traverse his driveway to get to the road.

Once on the road, luck had befallen us! Paddy was coming back from dropping Jessi off at her house, and picked us all up! Joy, and happiness. He drove us all back to Cam/Paddy's house, where Pat managed to convince Paddy to go boot for us. Maybe it was just Paddy trying to get Pat to shut the hell up. The kid had been whining about wanting to get drunk all night. Way uncool.

As it was now roughly ten'o'clock (maybe later, I didn't check) Foo was obligated to make his way home. Understandably, he didn't want to go, and attempted to call his mom, and ask to stay later, but she shut that down quicker than you can say juvenile delinquent. He ran home, to get back in good graces with his mom (don't be too impressed, he had ulterior motives for gaining her good favor).

Silly addicted Pat rolled another joint, and was generally a lamer, so Cam and I hung out on the trampoline. I love trampolines! Seriously, every child who grows up without one is deprived. And malnutritioned in the fun department. That's right, Mom! You neglected me by not buying me a trampoline. Feel the pain! Dance with me, Lois! (oh, family guy. *sigh*) Anyways, back to the point, trampoline was major major fun. Cam wanted me to take out my rage on the tree that hangs above the tramp. That was also amusing in a destructive kind of way. And so, if you somehow come across me barraging something with inprobable insults, and then screaming 'take out your rage on the tree', well that's where it came from, ok?

Eventually Paddy returned, bearing vodka, and gin. It was a strange kind of vodka, one I've never had before, but whatever. They didn't have much in the way of mixers, so I satisfied myself with a White Russian (vodka + milk. can also have Kahlua added, but it's not necessary). However, they had icky 1% milk, so I had to keep topping it up with milk to avoid grossness. Paddy had me take a shot of straight new kind of vodka. It burned. Oh how pleasant that burning was!

Also, Paddy shared the use of his pipe with us, and life was much better. Paddy is better than Pat at everything concerning weed. (don't be surprised at the lack of description form hereonforth, I don't remember much) We all just hung out after that. I don't remember a whole lot, other than that for a while the four of us hung out on the tramp, looking at the stars, and discussing alien space ships. Paddy told us about a couple experiences he had. He tried to make a point to me, but I don't remember what it was, nor did I really understand it at the point he made it, cause I remember him being like, "WTF, are you talking about?" I don't really remember what happened after that until Cam helped Pat into the hammock where he slept for a long time, and Cam retired to the tramp, armed with blanket, and..pillow? I don't remember.

After that, Paddy and I stayed up talking about classical music, and smoking up. Dear god, I love listening to classical music. We listened to a lot of Bach, played by this classical guitarist that Paddy loves. As well, Paddy played me a peice he had written himself. Very beautiful, and I am not kidding. Parts that are entirely unexpected, and some interesting transitions from movement to movement. I was seriously impressed. Also Paddy just sat down at the piano, and just played whatever came to mind which was insanely wonderful because the music was so coherent, and rarely did he make a mistake. I mean, seriously, now that is admirable. I love Paddy for that. That he can just sit there, and let this emotional, meaningful music just flow right form his fingertips into the instrument...and he's never taken lessons, except for trumpet...or trombone, I can't remember which.

Anyways, that entire part of the night was nothing but absolute bliss. I adore talking music with Paddy. Although, I'm a little sad, because I learned some valuable information about the technicalities of classical music that are now lost to the annals of drug-induced stupor.

Hey, I remember...these really yummy candies that Paddy gave me. He told me not to tell Cam about them...I don't think I did.

So, the plan of the night was, that Foo (being as rebellious, and angst-ridden as he is) would sneak out at roughly one-thirty, and we would go raise some hell. However, Paddy, and myself were the only ones still up at one thirty in the morning. So I vaguely remember Cam, making his way into his room to sleep sometime during classical-music-appreciating time. So, in order to fulfill said plan, I explored Pddy's house until I discovered Cam's room. It was kind of retarded, if I had just opened the first door I came to, I would have found him, but I had to try all the other doors on that level of the house first...cause I'm stupid. But anyways, I found him, and tried tearing off his covers, while talking loudly in his ear about how it was time to go get Foo. He kept asking me if he could just get, "like a minute more of sleep? please?" and I was like, no. I am stoned, drunk, AND a wakeup tyrant, so you're screwed; get your ass out of bed. I'm pretty sure I didn't actually say that. But it would have been awesome if I did! Every time he said that, he would just roll over, and I knew there was no chance he would ever get up if I left him alone, so I threatened to go get a glass of water and throw it on him. That notion sent Paddy into giggling peroxyms of the kind you would expect from an immature school girl. I really don't think Cam expected me to do it. I mean, hey, I suppose in other, "normal" families, they don't do that...well lucky Cam, he had to hang out with the one girl whose family DOES do that! Cam refused to get up, so I told him, "ok, I'm getting a glass of water now," and made my way out to the kitchen to do exactly that. I got my glass, and found my way back into Cam's room. By this time, Paddy was just hysterical with giggles. He kept asking me, "are you actually gonna do it?" and I was like, "of course I am. he has to get up, and help me go get Foo!" so i went in there, armed with my water, and started to pour, but lucky Cam either opened his eyes, and saw impending doom of the damp variety, or got splashed with a little bit (my hand was very unsteady), and got up in a hurry. Either way, it was intense amusement. However, there was a bit of a cringe moment in that, I tripped over Cam's guitar, and I didn't even notice until horrendus, gut-wrenching guitar-injury noise penetrated my determined fog. I tell ya, that got Cam up pretty quick! Anyways, he was all saying that he had to get dressed, and that we had to get out of his room. We did, but we didn't trust hm at all, so Paddy and I just waited outside his room. We kept asking if he was up, and he kept answering us, so we assumed he was actually up. However, after roughly--I dunno, a minute?--we barged right back in, and HE WAS NOT UP!!! surprising? not really. infuriating to an inebriated Capricorn? absolutely! now, I don't actually know what we did after that to get him out of his bed, but somehow, we did, cause I remember barging in another time, and catching Cam standing there confused in the middle of dressing. also, unbeknownst (that's not a word, but w/e) to me, someone went and woke Pat up. dunno who it was, but I know it happened cause he was with us the rest of the night.

Finally, we were on our way to our true mission. Find Foo, get him up, and go terrorize the vulnerably sleeping city. Now we did a hell of a lot of walking that night, that much I remember. I can vaguely remember our routes, but not enough to tell you about them. Not that you care. "Give us more drunken escapades" you scream. So I shall. Maybe.

We found Foo's house, and snuck around to the back where his light was on. I assume he was asleep, cause his "alarm didn't go off". We whispered his name, and threw things at his window. We were all influenced by substances, so I don't think any of us realized that there was a screen impeding the path of our projectiles until I knocked it into the room with an overly forceful pitch of a stick. Well, that turned out to be a good thing, because sharp metal objects falling on sleeping Foos tend to induce wakefulness. His groogy face finally appeared in that square of light we were all staring at, and he made his way downstairs to emerge through the side door.

I believe after that, we just went wandering. At least, I don't remember doing anything of any significance. The next thing I remember was arriving at Tim Hortons, where Pat bought a huge thing of donuts, Foo, and Cam both got...something. And I begged water, cause I'm poor. We just sat there quietly, doing not much of anything, I'm pretty sure. Bastardly Foo stole my water after one mere guzzle of it, and drank the entire thing. Stupid dehydration. It sucks.

After that, we meandered some more. We went somewhere...a gas station I think. I don't remember what we did there. It might have been Mac's. Then we did...even MORE travelling of the on-foot variety! I'm pretty sure after that, we just went back to Cam's house, where Foo finally got drunk, and high. Paddy had gone to bed, so we all hung out on the tramp by ourselves. The rest of the night passed in a blur of sensations...that I won't describe.

Eventually, Foo, and Pat decided to absent themselves. I think they went inside to play videogames, but I cannot be sure. There was also some passage of time inserted in there somewhere, because after the sky had lightened a bit, Foo came outside, and me and him hung out a bit. We pissed Paddy off by talking loudly outside his room. Whoops. Actually...I'm pretty sure he was talking loudly, and I was scarfing Raisin Bran, because I remember feeling slightly superior in an I-am-innocent-of-this-nonsense kind of way.

At roughly seven thirty, Foo returned to his domicile, we heard later, only to be accosted by an enraged mother who has since grounded him into obscurity. He called me about ten minutes ago, because his parents had left to see Kevin off, and he was alone to use the phone which has also been denied him. His mom is threatening him with private school. He was raging about that the whole time we were on the phone.

Anyways...there was a little bit more to my night of disapproved-upon mischeif. Pat left at like nine...maybe eight...or possibly ten. I dunno. He left, that's all I can say for sure. Cam and I hung out until I finally left at three. That's right! 3 pm! Over sixteen hours late! and no that's not a new record!

And you know why my mom rocks way more than yours does??? cause I got home with the afore-mentioned amount of lateness already hanging over my head, AND random evidence of wrong-doing on my person, and she STILL DIDN'T FREAK!!!!! I love my family!!! But not my sister when she's lazy and messy.

Anyways, Cam saw me off at a ridiculously perfect time to catch the bus (it appeared at the exact second I arrived at a stop), and I gave him my email. I suppose this is going to turn out like the cliche, *"give-me-your-number-and-I'll-call-you"-and-then-NEVER-DOES* scenario...but whatever. I have a bad feeling that my reputation has been ruined forever, but you know what? I have lost too many brain cells to really give much of a rusty fuck.

I arrived home and fell into bed and slept to around ten pm. Mom forced me to get up, and eat some stuff. I was much more interested in drinking all the milk in the house. After I couldn't sleep so I hung out with Sherayna here in the den, and called Geoff back, cause apperently he had called while I was asleep. He tried to pull some kind of intervention crap. ("what's with you? you're not eating, and you've gained weight, and you're hanging out with stoner jerk Foo all the time?" more random whining. sounds of me bashing things with sticks at the mention of my weight gain.) After that, I went and watched some TV with the fantastic Mom of awesemity. Finally at roughly twelve I was tired enough to fall back asleep. And that was the end of my two-day run of irresponsibility.

Bad news is, 'lexis-girl seems to have taken a disliking to me, ever since hanging out with Cam all night. apparently she had something of a thing going with him, that somehow I fucked up. If stupid Foo would ever GIVE ME HER DAMN EMAIL, I would send a heartfelt letter of contrition, and reconciliation. I really like her, and nobody ever mentioned anything to me about her + Cam =ing hands off-ness. She has apparently cut up my sex bracelet and burnt it in malicious rage against me, and I do feel horribly. I would like to fix things, becuase I do find her to be an entertaining individual to hang out with.

And in other news, I also feel very guilty about the whole not contributing to any of the substance-acquiring that I have nonetheless been partaking of lately. I have vowed to finance any future expeditions so as to redeem myself in my own eyes.

at any rate, after sleeping a ridiculous amount of time, I have finally gained some kind of equilibrium with the world. goody for me. I hope you had fun reading this vocabularizing-your-ass-off, morning-after entry, cause I sure had fun writing it!




PS: ring ring goes the bell...

stupid school. I hate it for having the audacity to come back. Nobody likes you! You're short, and ugly, and your parents should have aborted you. Take out your rage on the tree! (*haha, Cam!*)

tonight's starring guest...Brad's Vein!

wow. am I ever fucked.

I am so interested. totally totally under the spell, I've been thinking about him this entire night. concerned friend #1 is going to kill me. but seriously. I am so totally up for anything that *may happen*. (read: mother-freaking WILL happen if I have anything to say about it!) In fact, not only am I up for it, but boy oh boy, do I ever WANT it to happen!

I have not been this--well, I have to say it--attracted to someone other than Geoff since Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean! I dunno what came over me...just I found him totally irresistable! What an pathetic girl I am. I mean seriously, he IS the most unsuitable creature this side of mutant goat pigs from Jupiter, but somehow, that just means nothing to me. Too young, different interests, different maturity levels...survey says: MISMATCH. Libido says: something else!

not to mention Concerned Friend #2, who is intensely disapproving of any potential...well...fling, simply because it isn't with him! I mean, jeez! I don't even want to go there anymore. I did it, we did it, that is that, thank you very much. Let's both experience some other stuff, grow a little bit, find out a little more about who we are before trying something again that we already KNOW won't work. make sense, right?

I dunno. I don't know what I need. I don't know what I should do. I definitely know what I WANT. but it is totally possible that those three things may be one and the same. or maybe that's just me being irrational, and silly because of some interfering hormones. silly hormones.

but oh--with the hair, and the muscles...*sigh*. not quite smitten, but definitely...interested!

;)

In other news, Kevin's farewell p-tay was tonight. Tons of videogames, jamming in Brad's room, food, mad orgies...the usual. Foo thought he broke his finger, playing drums, cause he was playing them with his hands, and not the actual sticks, but really he probably just had a bone bruise. poor Foo. Devin got some seriously awesome footage, and is going to finish Kev's goodbye video hopefully by the end of the week. I am SO raring to see it! I cannot wait! At the end of the night, I gave Kevin mad hugs (he probably won't be at Lake Day) and we took tons and tons and tons of pics with his digital camera. I expect to see a bunch of those up on blogs and websites, people! I demand it!

Geoff and I reached--an accord. So to speak. He is only allowed to mention stupid things that I do once, after which the topic becomes off-limits, or any argument that ensues is his fault. Also he has to tell me everything about his relationships, and he is required to tell me I look like a million bucks WHENEVER I see him, even if I am wearing seaweed, and dog crap. (which he forgot to do tonight, even though I looked pretty good! bastard! this demands retribution!) as for rules for me...no drugs or sex or alchohol. or sex while drinking alchohol or doing drugs. yeah right like that'll happen. maybe the no drugs, but don't hold your breath on the other two, sweets.

anyways, Bradley! (even though your name isn't really Bradley!) are you happy with the new format? ooh! paragraph breaks! special! I dunno, readers...does it make it easier to read? or maybe nothing makes it easier to read. maybe my writing is so convoluted and un-understandable that to all people ever, it just looks like Martian babble. do I talk alien speak? report back at once! beam me up Scotty.

off to bed, now. I am aroused. muscles...and hair. mmm.

Nerd Love

today was an awesome day! hung out with girl Collective + Kevin. it was a ton of fun!

Brianna called me almost as soon as I got up (though how she knew I was up, I have no idea; maybe cause it was quarter to twelve...*blush*), and asked me when we were supposed to be coming over to Gator's that afternoon, I said I didn't know, but that I would call her in a little while. She said ok, and we hung up. A little while later...I called Gator, and she was (urgfh) in the shower. I mean, come on, I'm bad enough, getting up at quarter to twelve, but she doesn't get up until roughly around then anyways, AND she takes hour showers! She's the slothiest sloth in the whole sloth world. So I called back about twenty minutes later (yikes, running up the phone bill!) and she finally answered. I asked her when her preferred time would be for myself and Brianna to make an appearance, and she said just come over now. She also told me to call Barbara and invite her, but Barbara had to clean in preparation for her mother's imminent return of today or tomorrow.

So I convinced Ken (my mom's random friend who randomly gives me money in return for me allowing him to delude himself that I'm his daughter. Seriously. He gives me ten bucks, hugs me, and says "I'm like a father figure to you," every time I see him. Whatever. I get the better deal!) to give me a ride down to City Center bus stop, or I would miss my bus. I made it up to Gator's, and Brianna and Kevin were already there. We hung out for a while just talking about *ahem* Aden, and other things.

Eventually, we decided we were restless, and that a trip to the mall was in order. Why the mall you say? I dunno, I suppose the endless barrage of stimuli marketing thousands of useless items could be an excuse to wear down our energy. First we headed to Mac's where we all bought huge Slurpees with strange flavours. Nobody finished theirs, except for possibly Kevin, but I am not sure... Kevin bought gas, and me and Gator and Beebur checked out the magazines. (Hey, Mr. Tanlines!) Then we were off, like a herd of turtles, to Woodgrove.

We arrived and walked a ridiculous, and pointless distance around to an entrance where I saw (OMG) a guy that I'd met at the M + CdA cast p-tay. yes I know what you're all thinking. That foreign guy that Alleah made out with while she was horridly drunk? The one who's name she didn't even know? yes. That guy. I saw that guy. *cringe* and what made it worse, was going in, me and Brianna-Beebur noticed him at THE EXACT SAME TIME, so we looked at each other, and were like, "is that the guy you--" "Brianna, that's the guy, I--" and then just cracked into hysterics! and we kept turning to look at him, and Laura was like, "what? what are you all laughing about?" and we told her, and she looked at him, and cracked up into the same hyena laughter that we were convulsed in! And by that time, he had turned around and was probably thinking something like, "huh?" or whatever that word is in his language. And we were just cackling the whole way into the mall. That poor guy must have been so confused. Not to mention Kevin! *sigh*

anyways, we got in the mall, and just roamed for a while. the first shop we went to was a shoes store, and we had a ton of fun drooling over awesome Converses, and pretty bags. (that one was mostly me.) or at least the girls, did. Kevin was all like, "I'm a man." Then we headed down to Spencer's. (the store, not to person's house) we checked out fun things there. I coveted all the Happy Bunny stuff they had there. I think the Happy Bunny company came out with more, cause all day, I saw a ton of new slogans. Jay was working there, as was Kat, the accompanist for Robinson Crusoe. Laura and Brianna decided I needed to buy this book that taught you how to have orgasms. (grr!) I decided I needed to buy outt he store of ALL their Happy Bunny merchandise. After that, we meandered some more, and Brianna and I decided we needed to explore the 88 cent store for sex bracelets. We couldn't find any, so we migrated to the EFAD'S (the Everything For a Dollar store), where we found an enormous selection of really good ones! I bought two packages, and Brianna bought one.

However, a bunch of noteworthy stuff happened before that that I ALSO must tell you about that. Before going to EFAD'S we stopped in Claire, the girly store of the universe. I was in heaven! I found jewelry that I wanted, makeup that I wanted, and a huge selection of sex bracelets for incredibly ridiculous prices (which is why we didn't buy those ones). We found all this stuff that we wanted to buy for Caitlin, and Brianna was jonesing over this huge wall of punky jewelry. We decided that our substereotypes were (by sub, I mean, obviously, we're all theatre people, but within our group) Brianna as the punk, me as the twink/girly girl, and Laura as the folk god. Yes, we realize that folk god is not a general stereotype, but we defy you, cultural melting pot.

We also found these ridiculous hats that said Mrs. Timberlake, or Mrs. Kutcher, and I *heart* Ashton, and I *heart* Justin. Each of us girls put one on, and Kevin took a picture of us with his handy dandy digital camera. It was great! Move over Demi, I am now Mrs. Kutcher!

then we went to Toys R Us to look for a surprise cone, but they don't sell them anymore. It wasn't a total bust, though, I climbed into a kiddy car, and Laura accused me of having a growth desease. I asked her to "help me out, Mommy." It was their idea of affordable transportation for me.
after, we made a quick stop into Thrifty's where I discovered more Happy Bunny pins, and even more ridiculously priced sex bracelets. It was then that we made the fated trip to EFAD'S, and after that, we sat on a bench outside WalMart talking and adorning ourselves with sex bracelets. Kevin ran off to pee, and the girls and I fervently got in as much girl talk as we could before he returned.

Then we went into Walmart, and in the photo shop, Kevin ran off prints of the infamous hat pic in Claire's, and also other pics, from the night I got stoned with Paddy. (ie, me wearing Kevin's mom's pants on my head, me getting bondage-ed with an akido belt, me + Foo wearing a plunger. interestingly enough, I was not under any influences when undertaking these random endeavors!) that was a ton of fun, especially as we found a random abandoned pic of some guy with a red mohawk, and patchy spots of fur all over the shaved part of his head. What made it better was that he was wearing leapard print! We decided I would put it up in my locker this fall, and we would tell people that he was my Russian boyfriend named Dexter Valistofski. (I dunno if that name is even Russian at all!)

after moaning Dexter a few times in an extremely sexual fashion, we entered Walmart itself, and I bought bronzer, and Kevin showed me a sale on Wankinators. (two for four dollars! what a deal!) We roamed the store a bit after that, making many many jokes about the values wanking might have if one was, say, *stranded on a deserted island with a jar of peaches to open*. My response was to use some of the multitude of girly jewelry I would be wearing to signal a passing Air Force jet into finding Kevin, and dropping him off on the island with me so he could open the jar of peaches for me with his mighty mighty wanking skills.

Brianna retorted that I should ask for someone bigger so that I could eat him later.

after that, we returned to Kevin's club wagon to go home, but first we stopped at Roger's video to rent a brainless teen comedy. We got 100 Girls, which was surprisingly good for being amazingly sexist, and devolved. *oh sweet leaping jesus!* there were many many glib jokes that I fell in love with, but sadly cannot remember to include in this blog. Go rent it. You'll lose a few braincells for it's utter stupidity, but it's a good time.

following that, Kevin made noodles, and Ragu, and Laura and Kevin wolfed it down cause they were going to be late for their Shae Apland concert. I told them to scream something at him for me. They have a choice between, "Woo!", "I want to have your baby!", and "Take off your clothes!". Anyways, Kevin dropped Brianna off (cruelly, at the bottom of her horrendud horrendus hill), and made me walk from where he parked for the Shae Apland concert all the way up Fitzwilliam, and down Kennedy. I begged for Foo's jecket for modesty (which was in the car), but he refused. *sniff*

However, something good did come of it! The cutest doggy in the whole wide world came bounding up to me, and butted his cute little head against my leg while I petted him, and talked to him. The cute little pooch got excited when I said I had to go home, and jumped at me, and his owner had to come and grab his collar. Owner was not particularly interesting looking, but I did like his dog, which is a must.

now, I am at home, and just hanging out. I have a feeling my blog will not post for a while, so I may have to save this on Word for a couple days before I can post it. crappy ass.

however, I shall try. no lists for today, because it would just be redundant. goodnight, all!

i shall be reincarnated as a maggot-infested turnip

phrase of the day ^^^. also, my special word, fucktard has now been replaced with the oh-so-vocabularly-amusing craptaculosity, compliments of Kevin! (who btw, spent an entire half an hour ranting at me about the dangers of drugs and alchohol.)
In other news, Geoff continues to be *Ye Olde Asshole*, having been unblocked at the behest of Brianna, Laura, and the aforementioned Kevin in the interest of diplomacy during upcoming events such as Llowyn p-tay, and Kevin's farewell p-tay. However, then he proceeded to somehow piss me off in the span of ten minutes, thus resulting in resumed blockage. I don't know, I really think it's better this way. I don't think about him as much anymore, let alone obsess over him like I used to. I can now think about dating other guys, and it's a good thing! I am happier while not talking to him, and while I don't want to be bitter, or spiteful, or look back upon our year and three months as anything other than the wonderful time that it was, I feel that it is past time to let go. And detaching myself from him through lack of contact is, I believe, the way to go. And that shall be that.
went blog-snooping again today. this time searching the database with key words. interestingly enough, the items you type into your favorite books, music, movies sections of your bios, and the interests sections of your bios become links to the profiles of others with the same interests as you. This is also true of your location. So I surfed through all the Nanaimoites on blogger (btw, why the hell are we called that? why not Nanaimers, or Nanaimians, or the Nanaimese? curious.), and found a couple interesting ones! low and behold, hours after commenting on his blog, I find a little popup on my msn, saying that someone who's email address I do not recognize has added me to their email! so this has happened quite a bit lately, the most cringeworthy of times was when I talked to my best friend since Grade One, Amanda Taft for about an hour before ever realizing who she was! (she had changed her email addy lately) so I just went along, and while chatting, looked up their msn profile. And I discovered Nanaimoite(ese) blog boy! woo-hoo! so we've just spent the past several hours talking. He likes old music! (thank goodness. after Lt. David, I got kinda worried) He gradded from Dover, lives in North End, works at the Woodgrove Save on Foods in the bakery. He can bake bread! lol. one might wonder why I am writing this at all, seeing as how we are blog buddies, and it can be assumed that eventually he will come across this entry. and assumably he already knows all this junk about himself, right? but w/e. he used to play drums in band. I didn't know Dover had a band! I suppose Welly is probably the most musical school in the district. But Dover is the most dramatic. (I am so jealous of Mr. A! I want to steal him for Welly's very own! And they took our beloved Mr. Beeston away from us! bastards! now who will discuss the "little shitheads" in his class with me? *tears*) haha! and L + B are stuck in Film and Television without him this year! sucks to THEIR ass-mar! oh, goodness, I just thought of something...who is going to "supervise" the Broadcast club? this is my grad year, I'm supposed to have the coveted Talent spot all to myself and one other! mother frick, everything is changing, and I DON'T like it. w/e, at least I still have choir. wonderful wondeful choir. *sigh*
I know I had a lot more to tell you, but I cannot remember what it is. OH YEAH! Brianna is being stupid. The Collective has had ONE scheduled performance ALL SUMMER, and she KNEW about it, and knew it had been confirmed since before school ended, and she's still flaked out on us! She's going to---well, if I told you I'd have to kill you beofre she killed me because it involves some sensitive information concerning a --gasp-- male that she is interested in. But suffice it to say, that it is NOT a good reason to fuck up the ONE performance we've done all summer! I mean, hey! She had Arts Alive. Laura had Arts Alive AND Naramata. I've had jack shit! I have done NO performing all summer, not even at my big bros wedding, cause my two California bros don't even know I sing! it's NOT FAIR! I mean, with the Rufus fiasco, she had some cause to be a flake. (not a whole lot, but some.) but this is nothing but a guy! as mentioned in a previous post, I thought Collective "stuck together against any mere male". I guess not. I'm sorry, I guess this means that the saying "chicks before dicks" has failed me. I am scarred.
however, I am too tired to be suitably enraged right now. the blinding fury can wait til the morning. home life has been better since horrid freakout two days ago. no fisticuffs, and no moving out so far. blue skies (*smiling at me, nothing but blue skies, do I see*) all the way.
Gator is finally back! I am hanging out with her and Brianna and Kevin tomorrow. Geoff was supposed to attend, but ran off to hide behind Alex and Erin instead. grrr. I'm feirce, and oh so intimidating, can't you see? Big, frightening four foot eleven me! (now THAT was sarcasm, Geoff) anyways, let's not get nasty, Alleah.
oh yeah, the title of this post is totally true for me as well as stolen from Gator-Bator! I went to this dating service that Amanda Rossiter showed me. And I started rating all these people's attractivenesses on a scale of one to ten! I was like, omg! I am seriously going to hell very very soon! I can't remember exactly how I described it to Jesse (Nanaiman blog boy), but it was funnier than this.
anyways, brain wobbling on rickety tracks, and is quite ready to fall into some slumber. must I have energy for lists? urgfh.

today...
i wore: denim shorts, and a white and orange halter top. blue sandals.
i ate: coffee, noodles, pancakes, coffee and hamburger helper. (more than in a really long time!)
i did: a lot of hanging with the kids (Sherayna's) at the water park. Got itchy, irritable and parasite-ridden. refuse to ever return to cursed water park.
i like: my hair cause it looks good for a change!
i dislike: Haliburton yucky Waterpark with it's recycled water, and revolting insectoid wildlife. and big spiders.
brag moment: letting Tika chase me around the field at HyW. she liked that.
cringe moment: having to be the one who strolled the stroller home, thus making it look like I was the one who had a six month baby even though he's my sister's, while icky icky young ice cream boys leered. filthy ice cream boys. I rate them a two on the hotness scale. Hear me?! a two!!!!
granola moment: supervising kids at a waterpark, irritating as it was.
i plan to: sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.


goodnight, all in blogland.

here we go again.

ok, this is the fourth post I've attempted to put a link on.


let's see if this works...

Kevin


you better publish this time, you bastard.

my hair is looking surprisingly good lately

know what I just realized? in roughly three weeks, our beloved "Grade Nines" will NO LONGER be grade nines! they'll be grade tens!!! oh how frighteningly progressive! and you know what else? if they are in grade ten, that makes myself and female Collective+Gareth GRADE TWELVES!!!!!!!!! as in Grad! yikes!
I don't wanna grad. I vow to regress this entire year. Immaturity, here I come.
oh, god! today is the fourteenth of August. I have roughly twentyfour days plus maybe a month to make two hundred and thirty three dollars. goddamn grad fees. fuckshitters.
hey, yesterday, while surfing Kevin's old website, I found the most intensely amusing link EVER! I laughed so hysterically.
www.whiskerscorner.com
I love this website SO MUCH! it's so so good! The article "Moving Suck II: The Coveted Whiskers Corner Fuck You Award." gave me such an education in creative cursing than I hjad ever imagined possible. Like, take for instance, the best paragraph in the world, as follows:

"This still boggles my mind. As I was talking to Mr. PenisClown, how did he confuse "please don't cash my check" with "I want to donate that check to your multibillion dollar corporation?" How much fecal material must a person's head contain to make this kind of mistake? I realize that I have a SUPER SEXY VOICE, and King Anus must have been playing with himself, but if you can't jack off and do your job at the same time, then as far as I'm concerned, you're an incompetent fucktard."

fucktard is totally my new word. right after fuckshitters. I sometimes *heart* profanity!

I need interaction...Collective, save me!!!

so lazy. I'm such a lamer right now. Have not hung out with Collective in EVER!!! they must save me from my substance-abusing ways. *for shame*
anyways, I have also been neglecting my lists of late, so I shall resolve that conendrum now.

two days ago...
i wore: my black sports tee, and scanty scanty denim shorts. and white sandals.
i ate: I think that info was stored in the brain cells I lost over that past three days.
i did: a hell of a lot of being embarrassed, some more hanging out with Foo, and Kevin, some attempted sleeping-over at their place that was confounded by their suspicious suspicious mother (who has great taste in reading material!), and finally some more dope-smoking with Paddy. thus resulting in more brain damage. me+Paddy Barry=brain death.
i liked: the fact that I was totally irresponisible the night before.
i disliked: the fact that I was totally irresponisble the night before.
brag moment: having a fifteen minute shower. (seriously that's an impressive new time for me)
cringe moment: I swear, all the cringe chi from the previous day maliciously saved itself for this day. goddamn cringe chi.
granola moment: spending all day in front of the computer.
i planned to: not get high with Paddy that night, but look how THAT turned out!!!

yesterday...
i wore: blue adidas shorts, and a black tee. slippers I believe for footwear.
i ate: coffee, popcorn, and a LOT of water.
i did: a whole lotta nothing. slept the day away. oh, and earned ten bucks for babysitting, even though I slept almost the whole time.
i liked: sleeping
i disliked: being disapproved on.
brag moment: patting the sick baby back to sleep WHILE standing, AND sleeping! bitch!
cringe moment: the enormously huge fight with my sister that resulted in our current avoiding of each other. it continued into today.
granola moment: drinking coffee underneath the maple tree.
i planned to: get up and be productive eventually, but failed miserably.

today...
i wore: a housecoat ALL DAY LONG!!! (I am Laze-bot. Fear me.)
i ate: coffee, and a casserole-like thing with noodles, and chicken.
i did: some bouquet-making, some sleeping, some wishlist making, and a lot more fighting with my sister. seriously considering taking Ahrodie, and my pictures, and becoming a hermit on Mt. Benson (note to self: stock up on shampoo). that's teach them!
i like: the idea of music. (I have none of my own since the fire, and the Final Great Geoff Breakup)
i dislike: being the crappiest person in the world.
brag moment: my lovely lovely creation that is sitting on a table in the front hallway right now. roses, cosmos, dahlias, and yarrow fronds. I was proud.
cringe moment: saying a couple things that were entirely cruel to Sherayna.
granola moment: hanging out in my room in my housecoat and slippers. hugging my teddy.
i plan to: maybe go hang out with friends. it'll take some serious motivation on my part however. I seem to have lost some of that lately.

there, happy? my unhappy unhappy last three days in organized list format. my shoulder hurts. off to blogsurf, now.

*random wail*

nobody posts anymore!!!! even Kevin hasn't updated since before last night! intense sadness.
I discovered Spencer's blog today. It's at Live Journals I think the addy is something like www.livejournals.com/users/teary_smile or something. that might be wrong though. no, never mind, that's correct. live journals allows you to have "I'm feeling" icons. that's cool. take a hint, Blogger!!!
I wish I was attracted to someone. I need a male to focus my attentions on. me and my family have been getting into more and more intense fights lately. my sister hit me today, and I punched her back. I fear tensions may indeed be moving toward moving-out-ness. life sucks.

as usual
I love how I never use indents when blogging. I feel so rebellious. *I defy you, modern rules of English!*
tired. need to check comments. hopefully someone still reads my blog.

thank god that psychotic post is gone.

why am I such a dickhead? why whyw hwy why why?
I can't beleive it. I went and got stoned AGAINwith Paddy last night! I'm SOO dumb! And I said I was going to learn. fucking learning.
shit I've lost braincells I can tell.
crap crap crap.

my pores are swollen

and my eyes are swollen, and my face is greasy, and my muscles ache. and my hair is dirty. and I've got scratches and bruises that I don't know how I acquired. and I'm not sure how much I remember from last night...
*big sigh* I'm such a whiny baby.
I'm a really weird person because...I like who I AM, but I don't like my LIFE. isn't that weird? I mean I like being Alleah, and being all the things that Alleah is. But the things that happen to Alleah tend to suck a lot of ass. (except for that hot DJ! haha!) (*refer to mmm...men in uniform--The Virginia Trip for an explanation*)
anyways, HITF Productions meeting tomorrow. I suppose I shall committ to this endeavor. I reserve the right to not be surprised if it doesn't work out, though. I dunno, all the people who are in on it are fabulously talented and all, and there's not a thing wrong with any of them, but alas, I've been in on about three too many "projects" that were going to "work out awesomely" and didn't for me to succumb to the excitement of another. however, I'm impressed with the number of people who are terribly excited about it. good job, all.
my forearms hurt.

link

fun games! the first one at the far left is so mind-numbingly amusing. good music, too!

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/

have fun, Alleah, + friends!

happy days are here again...

I've been sitting and ruminating over that post I just did for about a half an hour now, and I am SO done with moping around and hating myself. I want to have fun. Now I feel rather defiant about last night. I am sixteen years old, and I have at least another school year of going out and getting stupid all I want. So yes, making out w/ Foo all night was idiotic idiotic, but I DON'T CARE!!! well, at least not enough to keep feeling bad about myself.
so let's start with the good news. I have a head for alchohol rather like my big bro's. He gets drunk, passes out as if he's dead. Like we're talking a full brass band could play in his face, you could destroy his hearing with a fog horn in his ear and he wouldn't wake up. But he wakes up the next morning, just POPS out of bed, and goes and takes care of business. He's never missed a day of work after going out to get smashed, he's said. Well, thankfully, I am blessed with the same head. (except for the F of M + CdA cast party. I hadn't eaten anything the night before so I had a yucky hangover the next morning) However this morning, I was up and at 'em at a lovely 8:45 in the morning! I don't get up that early when I'm sober! And aside from a nasty case of dehydration, I have lived the morning with nary a headache, vomiting spasm, or even a nauseous burp of grossness! Life is good.
next happy thing to talk about: dogs! I love my dogs so much! We let all of them in the house today, and Sensei got in insane trouble cause he chewed up a new pair of my mom's sandals. (I was sad, they were nice.) Ahrodie got to stay in the house for a really long time after that, and she was just being a total sweetheart! She was all affectionate, and pet me, and I'll lick your hand! It was so sweet! Eventually, Mom made her go outside, though. Then we were talking to the cute dogs from inside the sliding glass door. And I opened it up to talk to Sensei, and he just jumped right in the house! It was so cute! And then Ahrodie jumped in, and we gave them intense pets. Poor Tika, though is still too small to jump through the windows, so I had to go outside and invite her in through the back door. However, she rolled over when I was petting her, and rolled in some pee, so I had to wash her in the bathroom sink as soon as we got insode the house. Finally she was clean, and I let her run around int he hose, but Ahrodie was being a total bitch and was growling at her, and being all jealous of me, so I had to whack her nose, and send her outside. Once there I put her on her chain, and put the muzzle on her. She was so miserable! I felt bad, but dammit, she's gotta learn! But when I came back inside, what did I find? intense intense adorability, that's what! Sensei was playing with Tika, and he's always SO GOOD at playing with puppies! You wouldn't think so, cause he's such an enormous dog, right? but he's always so gentle, and he lets them fight back just enough to make them have a good time! he's so patient! I mean, it's sweetness times a million because he's so gigantic, and you know that if he tried, he could break her little neck without even thinking about it. But he's gentle, and loving, and patient, and long-suffering with all the ankle-biting that she does. I'm always so proud of his for his wonderful virtues when I see him playing with puppies!
so, one good thing to come out of last night (don't get your hopes up, this is minor minor) was that we ordered pizza. And they brought us the wrong order, cause we'd ordered a medium Hawaiian, and a medium meatlovers, and they brought us a Canadian instead of the Hawaiian, so we got a FREE Canadian pizza out of it! score! and as an added bonus, the pizza boy rated around a nine to nine-and-a-half out of ten! double score! yeah I know I'm shallow, but wtf/e. hahaha!
Anyways, I don't really have much else to be happy about (oh how depressing) other than that judging from Kevin's blog, and Brianna's enjoyable phone call that she just made to me, my friends do not appear to be murderously enraged at me in any way. So thank God for that. And, Kevin, and Brianna, I love you guys tons, and I'm sorry sorry sorry! (repitition makes it more believeable! *wink!*)
So I'm off to check my email. ttyl!