Today was my gig with theatre one! :D bestest most crazy sweet day EVER! I started at ten thirty, and we all just sort of sat around the board room table talking before we started the read through. It was me, Lee, Burt, the writer Kim, and the other actors were Yvonne (playing Jocelyn), Adrian (playing Frank; whom I now have a little school girl crush on), Russell (playing one of the three male actors) and Michael (playing the other male actor). It was a pretty frickin awesome read through I think. I did pretty well, and I just fell in love with Adrian's voice! He's just an amazing actor! Great energy. He wasn't just reading, he was really getting into it, right up to making his water bottle into props, and whatnot. He even left the room a couple of times because of what the scene had his character doing! It was great. Anyways, when we finally broke for lunch, we all headed to Tina's behind the Arts Centre on Commercial. (Ace, you and I have been there before) and I sat with Lee, Yvonne and Adrian, talking shop. It was so great. I learned so much about the reality of being a working Canadian actor from today. We talked all about various theatre experiences, about the show, about what else we did. Adrian teaches at Spotlight! The adult on-camera classes. It might be a good idea...
Anyways, when we came back from lunch it was discussion time. I'm not actually doing the show. It won't get into production until April of next year. But the playwright was workshopping it and that's what Burt called me for. So we started just kind of complaining about it! lol! And there were some really really excellent ideas thrown out. I think the best one came from Michael. The scene in question was where Frank was just kind of standing on stage, and it kind of molds from party to party...one's a wedding, a funeral, a retirement party, and they're all for this mysterious "Bill"! The idea behind it was that Frank Ney went to so many functions that he never really knew the people who's big day it was. And I've always loved the scene, but the other experienced actors were all unsatisfied with it. Then Michael throws out the idea to make each transition a little shorter, and build the momentum that way and then finally Frank ends up back at home with his daughter Michele and there's a profound moment in the play. I won't spoil it for you, cause I want every single one of you to come see it. But I thought that his idea was the best thing I'd heard ever!
So that was le super awesome! And the writer Kim adored me, cause I was the only one who appreciated the "Bill" metaphor. :P And the best thing about the whole thing is that---I GET TO DO IT TOMORROW TOO!!! :D
In other news, work sucks, I'm buying a Bronco, and moving has been put on hold. And the Canadian government are ass-bastards. Guess who DIDN'T get to take her L test today because she's an orphan? YEAH! that's right! ME! I either have to wait six months until I'm nineteen (OUT of the question); wait two months for Sherayna to get full guardianship papers which is NOT going to happen, cause it'll royally fuck with my life and the things that I can and can't do; OR pay sixty fucking dollars to get a letter of support from my fucking optometrist! I HATE LIFE! Whatever. Fuck the world. I'm buying my truck, and I am driving to work.
I miss you guys. I no longer have a social life, and it saddens me. But I keep telling myself, it's only until September, and I get my Student Loan. It's enough to tide me for the last three months until December when I get my settlement money! :D Plus I'll have saved up a fucking shitload from right now. I've been working sixty plus hours a week for the past four weeks. This week, I'm working ninety-six hours between my two jobs and my gig. o_O
So yeah, things are a little hard right now. But mostly things are pretty frickin sweet ass!!!!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
I have exchanged my life of giddiness and joy for one of endless profitable drudgery.
BAH. Ok, I'm over this whole goody-I'm-working-again thing. I'm tired. very very tired. Yesterday, I pulled another double and this week is going to be brutal!
For the next three days, I'm working six-to-two at Tim Horton's. The next two days after that, I'm working four-thirty-to-nine-thirty at the deli. Then over the weekend, I'm working doubles each day! :( And I'm MOVING next week, too!!! :( I have to do it on Thursday and Friday, cause I don't have any time the other days. my life is wasted.
At least they LOVE me at Timmies. even if they do take out their stress on me when it gets busy. today...every single person in Nanaimo bought an Ice Cappacino. every single one. if YOU didn't....that means you have defied the Space Time Continuum, and Karma now has YOU on it's hitlist. and I'd be willing to bet money on more than half of Nanaimo having bought those Ice Capps at MY Timmies.
Anyways, my point was, because so many people were buying Ice Capps, and the Ice Capp machine can't handle more than thirty every two hours or something super lame like that, it meant that the Ice Capp machines were being big whores all day, which meant that customers were getting substandard Ice Capps which meant that customers were also being big whores all day. Which in turn, meant that my supervisors and trainers were ALSO being big whores all day. And guess who got it taken out on them? yeah. that's correct. me.
However, Jackie said that our boss gave her a bonus for having recommended me! :) They LOVE me! They're putting me on drive thru shifts all next week, and according to Jackie, that's crazy awesome. Apparently it took most people there months to get on drive thru. The new girl before me, Desiree (big whore, but she's one all the time) has been there three weeks longer than I have, and she JUST got on drive thru. And they haven't given her the six-to-two shift yet. Apparently that's a really really awesome shift to have. I'm not exactly sure why, because I'll have to get up at FIVE IN THE FRICKIN MORNING! but, if they say it's awesome, I'm willing to believe them! :P
And Food Country is plain old Food Country. it's nice and relaxing, cause it's dead most of the time when I'm working there, and I have no supervisors or managers there EVER while I'm working, so I can basically do whatever I want. :) And I do. For instance, if I don't feel like scrubbing the grease catcher quite as well one night--I won't! It'll blow, though because the next night when I close again, I'll have to scrub it TWICE as hard to make up for it. But it's kinda nice because I can make my own decisions about things. And no one's gonna take it out on me when it gets busy, either.
Ok. That's all. No seriously, I actually have no other news. I am moving out of my house and may have found a place. That's all I can tell you right now. I'm going to look at it with Sean tomorrow after work. It's a one bedroom basement in a four-plex. It's close to bad areas but the actual neighborhood is nice and respectable, and it's close to two different bus routes, so I can get to school, AND to work. :)
I'm going to book off some time in August. I want a vacation. I kinda wanna go on a roadtrip. To Tofino. Who's coming? (more importantly, who's going to drive me??? :P)
OH! I know what's awesome! I had my meeting with Burton Lancaster from TheatreOne on Friday and I got the job!!!! So July 5th and 6th, I'm reading for a workshop of the Frank J Ney play! eighty bucks a day! I am now officially working! Now I just need ANOTHER acting gig, and I'll be a working actress. lol! :D :P
w00t w00t, go me.
For the next three days, I'm working six-to-two at Tim Horton's. The next two days after that, I'm working four-thirty-to-nine-thirty at the deli. Then over the weekend, I'm working doubles each day! :( And I'm MOVING next week, too!!! :( I have to do it on Thursday and Friday, cause I don't have any time the other days. my life is wasted.
At least they LOVE me at Timmies. even if they do take out their stress on me when it gets busy. today...every single person in Nanaimo bought an Ice Cappacino. every single one. if YOU didn't....that means you have defied the Space Time Continuum, and Karma now has YOU on it's hitlist. and I'd be willing to bet money on more than half of Nanaimo having bought those Ice Capps at MY Timmies.
Anyways, my point was, because so many people were buying Ice Capps, and the Ice Capp machine can't handle more than thirty every two hours or something super lame like that, it meant that the Ice Capp machines were being big whores all day, which meant that customers were getting substandard Ice Capps which meant that customers were also being big whores all day. Which in turn, meant that my supervisors and trainers were ALSO being big whores all day. And guess who got it taken out on them? yeah. that's correct. me.
However, Jackie said that our boss gave her a bonus for having recommended me! :) They LOVE me! They're putting me on drive thru shifts all next week, and according to Jackie, that's crazy awesome. Apparently it took most people there months to get on drive thru. The new girl before me, Desiree (big whore, but she's one all the time) has been there three weeks longer than I have, and she JUST got on drive thru. And they haven't given her the six-to-two shift yet. Apparently that's a really really awesome shift to have. I'm not exactly sure why, because I'll have to get up at FIVE IN THE FRICKIN MORNING! but, if they say it's awesome, I'm willing to believe them! :P
And Food Country is plain old Food Country. it's nice and relaxing, cause it's dead most of the time when I'm working there, and I have no supervisors or managers there EVER while I'm working, so I can basically do whatever I want. :) And I do. For instance, if I don't feel like scrubbing the grease catcher quite as well one night--I won't! It'll blow, though because the next night when I close again, I'll have to scrub it TWICE as hard to make up for it. But it's kinda nice because I can make my own decisions about things. And no one's gonna take it out on me when it gets busy, either.
Ok. That's all. No seriously, I actually have no other news. I am moving out of my house and may have found a place. That's all I can tell you right now. I'm going to look at it with Sean tomorrow after work. It's a one bedroom basement in a four-plex. It's close to bad areas but the actual neighborhood is nice and respectable, and it's close to two different bus routes, so I can get to school, AND to work. :)
I'm going to book off some time in August. I want a vacation. I kinda wanna go on a roadtrip. To Tofino. Who's coming? (more importantly, who's going to drive me??? :P)
OH! I know what's awesome! I had my meeting with Burton Lancaster from TheatreOne on Friday and I got the job!!!! So July 5th and 6th, I'm reading for a workshop of the Frank J Ney play! eighty bucks a day! I am now officially working! Now I just need ANOTHER acting gig, and I'll be a working actress. lol! :D :P
w00t w00t, go me.
I have exchanged my life of giddiness and joy for one of endless profitable drudgery.
BAH. Ok, I'm over this whole goody-I'm-working-again thing. I'm tired. very very tired. Yesterday, I pulled another double and this week is going to be brutal!
For the next three days, I'm working six-to-two at Tim Horton's. The next two days after that, I'm working four-thirty-to-nine-thirty at the deli. Then over the weekend, I'm working doubles each day! :( And I'm MOVING next week, too!!! :( I have to do it on Thursday and Friday, cause I don't have any time the other days. my life is wasted.
At least they LOVE me at Timmies. even if they do take out their stress on me when it gets busy. today...every single person in Nanaimo bought an Ice Cappacino. every single one. if YOU didn't....that means you have defied the Space Time Continuum, and Karma now has YOU on it's hitlist. and I'd be willing to bet money on more than half of Nanaimo having bought those Ice Capps at MY Timmies.
Anyways, my point was, because so many people were buying Ice Capps, and the Ice Capp machine can't handle more than thirty every two hours or something super lame like that, it meant that the Ice Capp machines were being big whores all day, which meant that customers were getting substandard Ice Capps which meant that customers were also being big whores all day. Which in turn, meant that my supervisors and trainers were ALSO being big whores all day. And guess who got it taken out on them? yeah. that's correct. me.
However, Jackie said that our boss gave her a bonus for having recommended me! :) They LOVE me! They're putting me on drive thru shifts all next week, and according to Jackie, that's crazy awesome. Apparently it took most people there months to get on drive thru. The new girl before me, Desiree (big whore, but she's one all the time) has been there three weeks longer than I have, and she JUST got on drive thru. And they haven't given her the six-to-two shift yet. Apparently that's a really really awesome shift to have. I'm not exactly sure why, because I'll have to get up at FIVE IN THE FRICKIN MORNING! but, if they say it's awesome, I'm willing to believe them! :P
And Food Country is plain old Food Country. it's nice and relaxing, cause it's dead most of the time when I'm working there, and I have no supervisors or managers there EVER while I'm working, so I can basically do whatever I want. :) And I do. For instance, if I don't feel like scrubbing the grease catcher quite as well one night--I won't! It'll blow, though because the next night when I close again, I'll have to scrub it TWICE as hard to make up for it. But it's kinda nice because I can make my own decisions about things. And no one's gonna take it out on me when it gets busy, either.
Ok. That's all. No seriously, I actually have no other news. I am moving out of my house and may have found a place. That's all I can tell you right now. I'm going to look at it with Sean tomorrow after work. It's a one bedroom basement in a four-plex. It's close to bad areas but the actual neighborhood is nice and respectable, and it's close to two different bus routes, so I can get to school, AND to work. :)
I'm going to book off some time in August. I want a vacation. I kinda wanna go on a roadtrip. To Tofino. Who's coming? (more importantly, who's going to drive me??? :P)
OH! I know what's awesome! I had my meeting with Burton Lancaster from TheatreOne on Friday and I got the job!!!! So July 5th and 6th, I'm reading for a workshop of the Frank J Ney play! eighty bucks a day! I am now officially working! Now I just need ANOTHER acting gig, and I'll be a working actress. lol! :D :P
w00t w00t, go me.
For the next three days, I'm working six-to-two at Tim Horton's. The next two days after that, I'm working four-thirty-to-nine-thirty at the deli. Then over the weekend, I'm working doubles each day! :( And I'm MOVING next week, too!!! :( I have to do it on Thursday and Friday, cause I don't have any time the other days. my life is wasted.
At least they LOVE me at Timmies. even if they do take out their stress on me when it gets busy. today...every single person in Nanaimo bought an Ice Cappacino. every single one. if YOU didn't....that means you have defied the Space Time Continuum, and Karma now has YOU on it's hitlist. and I'd be willing to bet money on more than half of Nanaimo having bought those Ice Capps at MY Timmies.
Anyways, my point was, because so many people were buying Ice Capps, and the Ice Capp machine can't handle more than thirty every two hours or something super lame like that, it meant that the Ice Capp machines were being big whores all day, which meant that customers were getting substandard Ice Capps which meant that customers were also being big whores all day. Which in turn, meant that my supervisors and trainers were ALSO being big whores all day. And guess who got it taken out on them? yeah. that's correct. me.
However, Jackie said that our boss gave her a bonus for having recommended me! :) They LOVE me! They're putting me on drive thru shifts all next week, and according to Jackie, that's crazy awesome. Apparently it took most people there months to get on drive thru. The new girl before me, Desiree (big whore, but she's one all the time) has been there three weeks longer than I have, and she JUST got on drive thru. And they haven't given her the six-to-two shift yet. Apparently that's a really really awesome shift to have. I'm not exactly sure why, because I'll have to get up at FIVE IN THE FRICKIN MORNING! but, if they say it's awesome, I'm willing to believe them! :P
And Food Country is plain old Food Country. it's nice and relaxing, cause it's dead most of the time when I'm working there, and I have no supervisors or managers there EVER while I'm working, so I can basically do whatever I want. :) And I do. For instance, if I don't feel like scrubbing the grease catcher quite as well one night--I won't! It'll blow, though because the next night when I close again, I'll have to scrub it TWICE as hard to make up for it. But it's kinda nice because I can make my own decisions about things. And no one's gonna take it out on me when it gets busy, either.
Ok. That's all. No seriously, I actually have no other news. I am moving out of my house and may have found a place. That's all I can tell you right now. I'm going to look at it with Sean tomorrow after work. It's a one bedroom basement in a four-plex. It's close to bad areas but the actual neighborhood is nice and respectable, and it's close to two different bus routes, so I can get to school, AND to work. :)
I'm going to book off some time in August. I want a vacation. I kinda wanna go on a roadtrip. To Tofino. Who's coming? (more importantly, who's going to drive me??? :P)
OH! I know what's awesome! I had my meeting with Burton Lancaster from TheatreOne on Friday and I got the job!!!! So July 5th and 6th, I'm reading for a workshop of the Frank J Ney play! eighty bucks a day! I am now officially working! Now I just need ANOTHER acting gig, and I'll be a working actress. lol! :D :P
w00t w00t, go me.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
A produce boy said the funniest thing today. :)
"sorry, i must be boring you, I'm just really tired."
"no,. I'm just enjoying watching you handle your meat."
*eyebrow raised*
"well it's nice for someone else to do it!"
ba dum CHSHHHHH!
in other news:
awww! I miss you guys too!!
Kaitlyn, you're a Timmies Ho???? WHAT? Aw, sweetie!!! the terrible uniforms, and hovering supervisors, and "would y7ou like a donut to makle that a combo?"! I feel a sisterhood with you, the likes of which have never been witnessed before!!!!!
um...jk. but that's still; cool.
and my cell is dead. I can't find the charger. That's why no one can get ahold of me. Once again, I invite myself to be stalked, and shall post my home number on the internet: 741 0176.
Speaking of phone calls!!! Ace and I hung out the other day and he mentioned talkingto the artistic director of Theatre One who's looking for readers for his workshop in July! Ace gave him my name and #, and he gave me a ring!!! (you know, on the tele?; re reading it, it kinda reads like he proposed or something! lol) I'm meeting with him on Friday!!! :D
And finally, today was the dreaded hell day of work from eight in the morning to nine thirty at night. I. Am. Exhausted. However, my syupervisors at Timmies LOVE me! Seriously, they think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread, to get down wit ma Brianna self for a minute. And work at the deli is...fun. There's a hovering produce boy there who gives me smokes and rides home. :) I enjoy him! However, I've decided that if any of you ever enter a grocery store after eight pm ever again for ANYTHING other than to pick me or Barbara up...I'll Kill You. Capiche?
after-eights (as I've begun to call them) are the worst of the worst. They're the cranky customers who are there after work because they couldn't gfet there any earlier, and missed all the bakery staff so they can't order their cake, and what do they do? take it out on the freaking over worked, working alone, BRAND-SPANKING NEW deli girl. BAH. I mean, come on! I sat there from seven, until eight thirty with nothing to do. No customers, no jobs that UI could finish yet, cause they were all closing tasks. not even any meat to fill. I swept and sang opera in a Hindu accent under my breath because there was NOTHING to do. Then I sat there from eight-thirty-two until freaking quarter to doing all the jobs I had to do, until, at fifteen minutes to closing, we had our daily rush of stupid last minute shoppers. I HATE them so much. I always try to start the slicer at eight fifty, JUST to foil their stupid plans! Cause if I clean the slicer...I can't serve any more meat! BO-URNS!
Anyways, I shall take myself and my evil plans elsewhere, and YOU shall comment. ya. that would be fun.
"no,. I'm just enjoying watching you handle your meat."
*eyebrow raised*
"well it's nice for someone else to do it!"
ba dum CHSHHHHH!
in other news:
awww! I miss you guys too!!
Kaitlyn, you're a Timmies Ho???? WHAT? Aw, sweetie!!! the terrible uniforms, and hovering supervisors, and "would y7ou like a donut to makle that a combo?"! I feel a sisterhood with you, the likes of which have never been witnessed before!!!!!
um...jk. but that's still; cool.
and my cell is dead. I can't find the charger. That's why no one can get ahold of me. Once again, I invite myself to be stalked, and shall post my home number on the internet: 741 0176.
Speaking of phone calls!!! Ace and I hung out the other day and he mentioned talkingto the artistic director of Theatre One who's looking for readers for his workshop in July! Ace gave him my name and #, and he gave me a ring!!! (you know, on the tele?; re reading it, it kinda reads like he proposed or something! lol) I'm meeting with him on Friday!!! :D
And finally, today was the dreaded hell day of work from eight in the morning to nine thirty at night. I. Am. Exhausted. However, my syupervisors at Timmies LOVE me! Seriously, they think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread, to get down wit ma Brianna self for a minute. And work at the deli is...fun. There's a hovering produce boy there who gives me smokes and rides home. :) I enjoy him! However, I've decided that if any of you ever enter a grocery store after eight pm ever again for ANYTHING other than to pick me or Barbara up...I'll Kill You. Capiche?
after-eights (as I've begun to call them) are the worst of the worst. They're the cranky customers who are there after work because they couldn't gfet there any earlier, and missed all the bakery staff so they can't order their cake, and what do they do? take it out on the freaking over worked, working alone, BRAND-SPANKING NEW deli girl. BAH. I mean, come on! I sat there from seven, until eight thirty with nothing to do. No customers, no jobs that UI could finish yet, cause they were all closing tasks. not even any meat to fill. I swept and sang opera in a Hindu accent under my breath because there was NOTHING to do. Then I sat there from eight-thirty-two until freaking quarter to doing all the jobs I had to do, until, at fifteen minutes to closing, we had our daily rush of stupid last minute shoppers. I HATE them so much. I always try to start the slicer at eight fifty, JUST to foil their stupid plans! Cause if I clean the slicer...I can't serve any more meat! BO-URNS!
Anyways, I shall take myself and my evil plans elsewhere, and YOU shall comment. ya. that would be fun.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
*spy music* covert blogging! shhh!
hokay, so. I am without internet for now. my bro is a big shitsucking biotch. So I won't be able to check my nex as regularly for a while. I'll go on as regular as possible, though.
In other news, I am now working at Tim Horton's as well as the deli. CRAZY! tomorrow I work at Tim's from 8-4, and then at the deli from 4:30 to 9:30. :( bummer. I'm going to be a rage case for the next two and a half months. Just so everyone knows. :)
In other news, I am now working at Tim Horton's as well as the deli. CRAZY! tomorrow I work at Tim's from 8-4, and then at the deli from 4:30 to 9:30. :( bummer. I'm going to be a rage case for the next two and a half months. Just so everyone knows. :)
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
I'm a bitch
I don't know why I do this whole nexopia thing. All I do is obsess over my presentation to the world, and how the world takes it. OMG, do I have a message today? How many more hits do I have? How does my profile look?
Who the fuck even gives a shit. goddamnit.
So I told Dave that I wasn't interested. He swore a lot at me, and tried to guilt me by saying he was worthless. I hate guys.
And of course I still do it. I still check my profile every minute or so, seeing if somebody messaged me back, investigating those who messaged me, seeing if I WANT to message them back. Why? Because I'm a gross, revolting attention whore. Sure, I like to excuse it by saying, I like to meet new people.
I just wish more of these people who I find, and talk to would become REAL friends. Then maybe it would seem a little more worthwhile.
BAH.
Who the fuck even gives a shit. goddamnit.
So I told Dave that I wasn't interested. He swore a lot at me, and tried to guilt me by saying he was worthless. I hate guys.
And of course I still do it. I still check my profile every minute or so, seeing if somebody messaged me back, investigating those who messaged me, seeing if I WANT to message them back. Why? Because I'm a gross, revolting attention whore. Sure, I like to excuse it by saying, I like to meet new people.
I just wish more of these people who I find, and talk to would become REAL friends. Then maybe it would seem a little more worthwhile.
BAH.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
can anybody find me somebody to love
above title had nothing to do with intended post. Actually, I just watched Bruce Almighty and kinda feel like busting out the faith shiz-nit. :)
You know what I adore about that movie? I mean, besides the Steve Carrel scene where he makes funny faces and sounds while on live television...I love how humanely the writers dealt with the whole issue. They dealt with the concept of God, as a being in relation to us, His creations. Not God in the Christian/Jewish/Catholic/Muslim/Buddhist/WTFEVER point of view. It was a very frank, matter of fact portrayal of God, and I loved that.
I personally don't believe in distinctions between the God I worshiped as an Anglican and the God I could worship as a Mormon. I do believe in Him, and I do believe that He made each and every one of us fundamentally the way we were supposed to be.
One of the best scenes in the movie is one that I see happening in my own life. In the beginning when Bruce is driving down the road going "talk to me, what's going on, give me a sign," and all of a sudden there's caution signals, and a truck full of caution SIGNS ahead of him and whatnot, and he's not noticing at all...it really reflects my own view of the way I believe divine interaction or whatever you want to call it is supposed to happen. A God smart enough to create life as complicated and minute and delicate as it is, doesn't allow things to just happen...well things that matter anyways. That's why I hate it when people are like, 'why did you let this happen, God?' I profoundly believe that there is a lesson in everything of importance that we experience in our lives. And the point of our tiny, miniscule, humbling little existences is for each and every one of us to find those lessons.
Aside: I refuse to call human existence 'insignificant'. I think that is a very belittling way of putting it. Look at how amazing we all are, how incredible just one person can be. How can THAT be insignificant? I refuse to even consider it.
As odd, as it may seem, I love my life. I love being who I am, and having experienced what I have. I love it. I miss my mom so much. But I know that it was supposed to happen, and as hard as it is to even comprehend, I'm sure it was the right thing in the context of her life, as well. I like to think that she was happy when she went. For one obvious reason, it's easier to cope...especially with the things I said to her the night before she died. But for another reason, it makes it easier to believe in the idea that it was the right thing for all parties involved.
I'm sure a lot of people don;t think I'm particularly religious, or even religious at all. And I may not go to church all the time, and what have you...or even follow those tenets of my favorite religion, tenets I admire and want to uphold. But I believe so strongly in a higher being, and purpose in life, and that there are reasons for everything that happens in life.
I dunno, maybe that's what makes me so happy. I'm pretty sure other people like being happy. So if I could give the whole world one peice of advice: try that belief out. It might make you happy too. And what's wrong with that?
PS: I wish Morgan Freeman really was God. I'd talk to Him everyday! :)
You know what I adore about that movie? I mean, besides the Steve Carrel scene where he makes funny faces and sounds while on live television...I love how humanely the writers dealt with the whole issue. They dealt with the concept of God, as a being in relation to us, His creations. Not God in the Christian/Jewish/Catholic/Muslim/Buddhist/WTFEVER point of view. It was a very frank, matter of fact portrayal of God, and I loved that.
I personally don't believe in distinctions between the God I worshiped as an Anglican and the God I could worship as a Mormon. I do believe in Him, and I do believe that He made each and every one of us fundamentally the way we were supposed to be.
One of the best scenes in the movie is one that I see happening in my own life. In the beginning when Bruce is driving down the road going "talk to me, what's going on, give me a sign," and all of a sudden there's caution signals, and a truck full of caution SIGNS ahead of him and whatnot, and he's not noticing at all...it really reflects my own view of the way I believe divine interaction or whatever you want to call it is supposed to happen. A God smart enough to create life as complicated and minute and delicate as it is, doesn't allow things to just happen...well things that matter anyways. That's why I hate it when people are like, 'why did you let this happen, God?' I profoundly believe that there is a lesson in everything of importance that we experience in our lives. And the point of our tiny, miniscule, humbling little existences is for each and every one of us to find those lessons.
Aside: I refuse to call human existence 'insignificant'. I think that is a very belittling way of putting it. Look at how amazing we all are, how incredible just one person can be. How can THAT be insignificant? I refuse to even consider it.
As odd, as it may seem, I love my life. I love being who I am, and having experienced what I have. I love it. I miss my mom so much. But I know that it was supposed to happen, and as hard as it is to even comprehend, I'm sure it was the right thing in the context of her life, as well. I like to think that she was happy when she went. For one obvious reason, it's easier to cope...especially with the things I said to her the night before she died. But for another reason, it makes it easier to believe in the idea that it was the right thing for all parties involved.
I'm sure a lot of people don;t think I'm particularly religious, or even religious at all. And I may not go to church all the time, and what have you...or even follow those tenets of my favorite religion, tenets I admire and want to uphold. But I believe so strongly in a higher being, and purpose in life, and that there are reasons for everything that happens in life.
I dunno, maybe that's what makes me so happy. I'm pretty sure other people like being happy. So if I could give the whole world one peice of advice: try that belief out. It might make you happy too. And what's wrong with that?
PS: I wish Morgan Freeman really was God. I'd talk to Him everyday! :)
Saturday, June 10, 2006
geoff let me drive and i crashed his car
...
JUST KIDDING!!!!! lol! Actually he met me drive and I totally rocked his world!!! k, that sounded sexual. it wasn't that at all. I just kicked some serious ass! Although I did run his car a little teeny bit off the road! :P A couple of bunnies were scared! :)
We went and saw Arrivals and Departures at the Bailey tonight. Everyone did so great! Especially Jen Schaper. My respect for her went up as ton tonight. I really thought she was the best actor onstage. Oh and she did the funniest thing ever! She had this stewardess monologue (which I SO wanna steal) and she was totally psycho, and she looked right at me ( I was in te front row) and was like "Can the lady with the nice designer boots PLEASE take them off? Everybody lean to left!" Shane took off his sandals and started leaning like crazy, it was so funny!
Later tonight me and him are gonna drop in on the cast party. I wanna talk to the guy who did the cell phone skit. Boy was he ever amazing. I just wanted to jump up onstage and give him a hug! :D
Anyways, that's all I wanted to say. ;)
JUST KIDDING!!!!! lol! Actually he met me drive and I totally rocked his world!!! k, that sounded sexual. it wasn't that at all. I just kicked some serious ass! Although I did run his car a little teeny bit off the road! :P A couple of bunnies were scared! :)
We went and saw Arrivals and Departures at the Bailey tonight. Everyone did so great! Especially Jen Schaper. My respect for her went up as ton tonight. I really thought she was the best actor onstage. Oh and she did the funniest thing ever! She had this stewardess monologue (which I SO wanna steal) and she was totally psycho, and she looked right at me ( I was in te front row) and was like "Can the lady with the nice designer boots PLEASE take them off? Everybody lean to left!" Shane took off his sandals and started leaning like crazy, it was so funny!
Later tonight me and him are gonna drop in on the cast party. I wanna talk to the guy who did the cell phone skit. Boy was he ever amazing. I just wanted to jump up onstage and give him a hug! :D
Anyways, that's all I wanted to say. ;)
Friday, June 09, 2006
stolen from mel... *EDITED!*
Name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head..Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people.
1. Brianna
2. Laura
3. Ace
4. Sean
5. Geoff
6. Michelle
7. Biff
8. Becky
9. Kaitlyn
10. Laura McNaught
11. Barbara
12. Mel
13. Kevin Dobson
14. Amber
15. Ted Littlemore
16. Olives
17. Alex
18. Jordan Gregoire
19. Brad Neilsen
20. Jordan Davies
21. Trish
Q: How did you meet 14? the first day of Mal Theatre, she was sitting with the only girl I knew, so we started talking! :)
Q: What would you have to do to see 10? invite her to a party or girls night..I hope we get close enough for me to just call her the heck up, though! :)
Q: What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? give them a love fern, and then...
wet myself...
Q: Would 21 and 12 make a good couple? haha! ...maybe. Though Mel's insecurity might drive Trish up the wall...the way I see it, Trish would be the insecure one, and wouldn';t be able to handle another's insecurity, and vice versa with Mel.
Q: Describe 6:oh man...um. well, talented beyond belief. probably the kindest person I've met in my life...sweet and cute as a button...I am determined to adore her as much as she deserves. Which is a whole heck of a lot!
Q: Do you think 19 is attractive? HELLS yes! I would SO do him! mmm...
Q: Tell me something humiliating about 17: are you joking? Alex has nothing humiliating about him. He is smooth embodied.
Q: Do you know any of 4's family members? I almost married the guy, if I didn't what kind of a person would that make me?
Q: When's the last time you talked to 13? he called me, super drunk at Brianna and Barbara's moving out party...it was humourous.
Q: What is 2's favorite band? Honestly... I couldn't tell you. She likes lots of different music. I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say Leonard Cohen.
Q: Would you ever date 5? not again! lol...I have though, so I guess I have EVER dated him.
Q: Is 11 single? indeed she is! unless you count her fake-y marraige, but I don't cauzse they haven't even consummated it yet! :P
Q: Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 16? haha, I know he's going to read this, AWKWARD! yeah, sure...I don't wanna freak him out or anything, or make him think he has a stalker, but I could see dating Kyle. he's Rosie's though. :)
Q: Where does 15 live?HAHAHAHA! How the deuce am I supposed to know? I just want to own the guy as a pet, I don't actually know where the poor guy lives! Contrary to popular belief, I am not a stalker.
Q: Are number 7 & 8 best friends? I do believe so...even after the shiz that went down with Beckies roommate (s)
Q: Do you like 1? quite a lot, though sometimes I wonder if she feels the same. :(
Q: Thoughts on 3? one of the closest friends I'll ever have. I never want to lose touch.
Q. Did you ever have a crush on 5? in the beginning for two straight fucking months! he was oblivious, as usual, though. :P
Q. Do you think 13 is attractive?um...not my type. *shrug*
Q. What's 21's favorite colour? stab in the dark: red?
Q. What would you do if 19 just confessed they liked you? do him. do him SO hard.
Q. What language does 20 speak? I'm pretty sure just the one, unless he's keeping something from me. Matt Damon....!
Q. Who is 15 going out with?beats me...better be no one, cause I don't allow my pets to have girlfriends. :P
Q. Would you ever date 7? would I ever...that opportunity is slipping away from him quickly though if he doesn't stop being such a flake with plans. it's so not cool, anmd is hurting his friendships, and work relationships.
Q. Would you ever date 1? :O NEVER!!! lol! A) WAY too fuckin weird. B) She'd hate me even more after a month, lol! C) I AM STRAIGHT! lol
Q. Do you hate 21?no, for sure not...in fact I see her way too infrequently.
Q. What is 9's last name? O'Neill. she's an Irish Princess. BITCH!
Q. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 2? hahah, NEVER! She's my girl, my Gator!!! And once again, I'M STRAIGHT!
Q. What school does 3 go to? The Ace Martens Academy of Being Cooler Than Thou.
AWW, dude!!! I understand now why eighteen is a pointless number! SUCKS to be eighteen on ANYONE'S list! :P ok, here we go, I shall remedy that with the pure force of my awesemity:
Q: Is eighteen happen to be THE MOST HILARIOUS, FUCKIN AWESOME PERSON YOU'VE EVER KNOWN???? why yes I believe he does. ;D
AMBER!!! write me that fuckin email, whore! (level 6)
1. Brianna
2. Laura
3. Ace
4. Sean
5. Geoff
6. Michelle
7. Biff
8. Becky
9. Kaitlyn
10. Laura McNaught
11. Barbara
12. Mel
13. Kevin Dobson
14. Amber
15. Ted Littlemore
16. Olives
17. Alex
18. Jordan Gregoire
19. Brad Neilsen
20. Jordan Davies
21. Trish
Q: How did you meet 14? the first day of Mal Theatre, she was sitting with the only girl I knew, so we started talking! :)
Q: What would you have to do to see 10? invite her to a party or girls night..I hope we get close enough for me to just call her the heck up, though! :)
Q: What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? give them a love fern, and then...
wet myself...
Q: Would 21 and 12 make a good couple? haha! ...maybe. Though Mel's insecurity might drive Trish up the wall...the way I see it, Trish would be the insecure one, and wouldn';t be able to handle another's insecurity, and vice versa with Mel.
Q: Describe 6:oh man...um. well, talented beyond belief. probably the kindest person I've met in my life...sweet and cute as a button...I am determined to adore her as much as she deserves. Which is a whole heck of a lot!
Q: Do you think 19 is attractive? HELLS yes! I would SO do him! mmm...
Q: Tell me something humiliating about 17: are you joking? Alex has nothing humiliating about him. He is smooth embodied.
Q: Do you know any of 4's family members? I almost married the guy, if I didn't what kind of a person would that make me?
Q: When's the last time you talked to 13? he called me, super drunk at Brianna and Barbara's moving out party...it was humourous.
Q: What is 2's favorite band? Honestly... I couldn't tell you. She likes lots of different music. I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say Leonard Cohen.
Q: Would you ever date 5? not again! lol...I have though, so I guess I have EVER dated him.
Q: Is 11 single? indeed she is! unless you count her fake-y marraige, but I don't cauzse they haven't even consummated it yet! :P
Q: Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 16? haha, I know he's going to read this, AWKWARD! yeah, sure...I don't wanna freak him out or anything, or make him think he has a stalker, but I could see dating Kyle. he's Rosie's though. :)
Q: Where does 15 live?HAHAHAHA! How the deuce am I supposed to know? I just want to own the guy as a pet, I don't actually know where the poor guy lives! Contrary to popular belief, I am not a stalker.
Q: Are number 7 & 8 best friends? I do believe so...even after the shiz that went down with Beckies roommate (s)
Q: Do you like 1? quite a lot, though sometimes I wonder if she feels the same. :(
Q: Thoughts on 3? one of the closest friends I'll ever have. I never want to lose touch.
Q. Did you ever have a crush on 5? in the beginning for two straight fucking months! he was oblivious, as usual, though. :P
Q. Do you think 13 is attractive?um...not my type. *shrug*
Q. What's 21's favorite colour? stab in the dark: red?
Q. What would you do if 19 just confessed they liked you? do him. do him SO hard.
Q. What language does 20 speak? I'm pretty sure just the one, unless he's keeping something from me. Matt Damon....!
Q. Who is 15 going out with?beats me...better be no one, cause I don't allow my pets to have girlfriends. :P
Q. Would you ever date 7? would I ever...that opportunity is slipping away from him quickly though if he doesn't stop being such a flake with plans. it's so not cool, anmd is hurting his friendships, and work relationships.
Q. Would you ever date 1? :O NEVER!!! lol! A) WAY too fuckin weird. B) She'd hate me even more after a month, lol! C) I AM STRAIGHT! lol
Q. Do you hate 21?no, for sure not...in fact I see her way too infrequently.
Q. What is 9's last name? O'Neill. she's an Irish Princess. BITCH!
Q. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 2? hahah, NEVER! She's my girl, my Gator!!! And once again, I'M STRAIGHT!
Q. What school does 3 go to? The Ace Martens Academy of Being Cooler Than Thou.
AWW, dude!!! I understand now why eighteen is a pointless number! SUCKS to be eighteen on ANYONE'S list! :P ok, here we go, I shall remedy that with the pure force of my awesemity:
Q: Is eighteen happen to be THE MOST HILARIOUS, FUCKIN AWESOME PERSON YOU'VE EVER KNOWN???? why yes I believe he does. ;D
AMBER!!! write me that fuckin email, whore! (level 6)
Thursday, June 08, 2006
CHORDGASM!
well, my internet's been being a skanky ho bag for the past couple of days, but it has been restored, so my posting can conitinue. :)
wow, there are a LOT of skeezes out there. CREEEPY. Guys, take note: if you want a girl to take off her clothes....DON'T do a Tom Green impression. *shrug* it's just common sense.
Tonight, was the year end choir concert, which went beautifully. I was still fucking up this ONE interval between the bridge, and the third verse right up until yesterday when I finally I was singing, and I just went "FUCK you! Whatever I start singing, it's probably gonna be wrong...so sing something else! ANYthing else!" And it worked! I now can sing the interval between that skanky ass whore of a bridge (but a beuatiful BEAUTIFUL bridge) and the rest of the song! Go me!
Ace and Michelle came. Ace was drunk. I don't care what HE says, he was drunk. I could smell it on his breath. :P but he told me we should start singing more jazz, which was really surprising, cause I thought he'd like Somebody to Love a LOT more. *shrug* whatev, I don't have any problems, as long as we don't ever do ANYTHIGN Brianna suggests ever again! :P jk, but seriously! She wanted us to do My Guy, too...and me and Laura were reminiscing today about My Guy, and...wow. I don't think we've ever sunk lower. lol! I'm just kididng, it was a fun day. BGut I still hate that song. :P
In other news, Sharon got me to fill in everywhere during the concert. So I was turning pages for the Teds, and I played them their note at the beginning of the concert. And of course The Collective (formerly known as Chordgasm) sang their set and ROCKED the house! lol. I think the audience was getting a little sick of hearing Sasja and The Choir. :P God, I hate her lack of blending. In fact, pretty much everything about her annoys the hell out of me. *shrug* what can you do.
OMG, one of the Teds, was so cute in an I-want-to-take-you-home-on-a-leash kind of way. The other one I've known since he was in elementary so that was just weird. It was like...what are you DOING accompanying MY choir! Where's Brad??? But the other was so cute. I felt bad, yesterday during dress, I fucked up and turned the page too far ahead during Remember Me and he slowed tempo cause he didn;t know where he was, and Sharon kinda gave him the what-for about it. And I'm sitting there going *cringe* that was so my fault. :( oh, well, I think he forgave me. must have been the satsuma body butter I wore yesterday! :P
And then tonight got hit on by a nex boy because my tube dress made it look like I was naked. oh god. seriously will someone shoot me? RIGHT in the face? (I'm gonna punch you in the ovaries. Right in the baby maker. How do ya like that?)
I dyed my hair. It looks pretty great. A LOT redder than I wanted, but that's ok.
wow, there are a LOT of skeezes out there. CREEEPY. Guys, take note: if you want a girl to take off her clothes....DON'T do a Tom Green impression. *shrug* it's just common sense.
Tonight, was the year end choir concert, which went beautifully. I was still fucking up this ONE interval between the bridge, and the third verse right up until yesterday when I finally I was singing, and I just went "FUCK you! Whatever I start singing, it's probably gonna be wrong...so sing something else! ANYthing else!" And it worked! I now can sing the interval between that skanky ass whore of a bridge (but a beuatiful BEAUTIFUL bridge) and the rest of the song! Go me!
Ace and Michelle came. Ace was drunk. I don't care what HE says, he was drunk. I could smell it on his breath. :P but he told me we should start singing more jazz, which was really surprising, cause I thought he'd like Somebody to Love a LOT more. *shrug* whatev, I don't have any problems, as long as we don't ever do ANYTHIGN Brianna suggests ever again! :P jk, but seriously! She wanted us to do My Guy, too...and me and Laura were reminiscing today about My Guy, and...wow. I don't think we've ever sunk lower. lol! I'm just kididng, it was a fun day. BGut I still hate that song. :P
In other news, Sharon got me to fill in everywhere during the concert. So I was turning pages for the Teds, and I played them their note at the beginning of the concert. And of course The Collective (formerly known as Chordgasm) sang their set and ROCKED the house! lol. I think the audience was getting a little sick of hearing Sasja and The Choir. :P God, I hate her lack of blending. In fact, pretty much everything about her annoys the hell out of me. *shrug* what can you do.
OMG, one of the Teds, was so cute in an I-want-to-take-you-home-on-a-leash kind of way. The other one I've known since he was in elementary so that was just weird. It was like...what are you DOING accompanying MY choir! Where's Brad??? But the other was so cute. I felt bad, yesterday during dress, I fucked up and turned the page too far ahead during Remember Me and he slowed tempo cause he didn;t know where he was, and Sharon kinda gave him the what-for about it. And I'm sitting there going *cringe* that was so my fault. :( oh, well, I think he forgave me. must have been the satsuma body butter I wore yesterday! :P
And then tonight got hit on by a nex boy because my tube dress made it look like I was naked. oh god. seriously will someone shoot me? RIGHT in the face? (I'm gonna punch you in the ovaries. Right in the baby maker. How do ya like that?)
I dyed my hair. It looks pretty great. A LOT redder than I wanted, but that's ok.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
PintoDate: I murdered a fork because I hate myself.
snicker! Remember that birthday surney? I ran over a permanent marker because I'm sexy and do what I want? well ^^^ is today's date.
Anyways, had my first shift at Food Country! I am now a meat-slicing, wage-haggling so-cool-you-wanna-hire-her-on-the spot Pinto! yes, I work in the deli. LOTS of meat-slicing, and some salad-serving, and a bunch of cleaning. Highlight of the night? Shoving skewers up raw chicken bums.
No. Seriously.
Lol! It was the grossest/funnest/funniest thing I've ever done at a job, lol! And the weirdest thing is, raw chiken bum looks like a real bum. Like a person bum. So you look at the chicken bum, imagine it with the head of the person you hate the most (at that point, it was Steve, cause he was being a bastard about my shifts), and then you SHOVE the skewer up the bum, and then it doesn't always go on all the way the first time, so you put your hand at the top of the skewer, and the you BANG the skewer down on the counter, and the chicken goes SQUIRT and slides down the skewer.
mwa-ha-ha-ha...this Pinto is now officially licensed to torture by skewer. :)
The girl who trained me is AWESOME! So much fun! She showed me everything and explained really well, and helped me when I didn't know something, and I was serving customers like an old pro by the end of a half an hour! :) It was awesome! And I saw the CUTEST boy there! He looked at me much longer than necessary, which gave me a thrill, but it was probably either curiosity at a random new face, or gas. That's what I've decided. And others there are cool, too. Most of them are quiet and don;t talk to you, but on my smoke break, I talked with a cashier who seemed a little scary, but mostly nice, and a guy named Joe from the meat department. woo-hoo! I also met a guy who has been banned from the store for sexual harrassment. He leered at me. Like ten minutes later, I saw him being escorted from the store. lol!
It just makes me happy, cause I ENJOY working there! I work with nice girls, and Laura, who trained me, says that she loves working there, cause all the people are so great, and the job is pretty easy and relaxing.
She kept being like, practically astonished at everything I did, lol. Like, I cleaned something, and I held it up for her, and asked it it could get any cleaner, and she was like, "No! That's perfect!" And then just burst out laughing, which made me feel GREAT, lol! And she was telling me I was doing really really well with learning everything. The whole thing seems really easy, though. Figure out which chunk of meat the customer is talking about, slice that fucker up, and weigh it until it's around what the customer asked for, enter the code, print the reciept, bag the meaty goodness, and give it to them. SO easy.
I need to stop typing lol after everything I say, lol. NBVJKLCXZBVZ.KSDJBV;> fuck. I'm NOT erasing it.
In other news, my uniform is too big. Like always.
Anyways, had my first shift at Food Country! I am now a meat-slicing, wage-haggling so-cool-you-wanna-hire-her-on-the spot Pinto! yes, I work in the deli. LOTS of meat-slicing, and some salad-serving, and a bunch of cleaning. Highlight of the night? Shoving skewers up raw chicken bums.
No. Seriously.
Lol! It was the grossest/funnest/funniest thing I've ever done at a job, lol! And the weirdest thing is, raw chiken bum looks like a real bum. Like a person bum. So you look at the chicken bum, imagine it with the head of the person you hate the most (at that point, it was Steve, cause he was being a bastard about my shifts), and then you SHOVE the skewer up the bum, and then it doesn't always go on all the way the first time, so you put your hand at the top of the skewer, and the you BANG the skewer down on the counter, and the chicken goes SQUIRT and slides down the skewer.
mwa-ha-ha-ha...this Pinto is now officially licensed to torture by skewer. :)
The girl who trained me is AWESOME! So much fun! She showed me everything and explained really well, and helped me when I didn't know something, and I was serving customers like an old pro by the end of a half an hour! :) It was awesome! And I saw the CUTEST boy there! He looked at me much longer than necessary, which gave me a thrill, but it was probably either curiosity at a random new face, or gas. That's what I've decided. And others there are cool, too. Most of them are quiet and don;t talk to you, but on my smoke break, I talked with a cashier who seemed a little scary, but mostly nice, and a guy named Joe from the meat department. woo-hoo! I also met a guy who has been banned from the store for sexual harrassment. He leered at me. Like ten minutes later, I saw him being escorted from the store. lol!
It just makes me happy, cause I ENJOY working there! I work with nice girls, and Laura, who trained me, says that she loves working there, cause all the people are so great, and the job is pretty easy and relaxing.
She kept being like, practically astonished at everything I did, lol. Like, I cleaned something, and I held it up for her, and asked it it could get any cleaner, and she was like, "No! That's perfect!" And then just burst out laughing, which made me feel GREAT, lol! And she was telling me I was doing really really well with learning everything. The whole thing seems really easy, though. Figure out which chunk of meat the customer is talking about, slice that fucker up, and weigh it until it's around what the customer asked for, enter the code, print the reciept, bag the meaty goodness, and give it to them. SO easy.
I need to stop typing lol after everything I say, lol. NBVJKLCXZBVZ.KSDJBV;> fuck. I'm NOT erasing it.
In other news, my uniform is too big. Like always.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
oh so very confused
so...I don';t have a lotta time, but I want to post before I go to work today at my NEW JOB!
I hung out with Sean last night and we went to see Over the Hedge. AWESOME movie! lol *I found my nuts!* I also got to see all the AWESOME people I used to work with and it made me so sad...I miss them all so much! I miss the Avalon in a weird way. I miss working with people who I really enjoy being around, and only dealing with mean supervisors once in a while. I got to see MATT!!!! He was so happy to see me, lol! He gave me a big hug and picked me up, and my little Pinto heart filled with joy! lol!
Anyways...Sean and I went home, and he stayed the night. *shrug*...
This morning, we were lying in bed, cause we were lazy and didn't wanna get up yet. And the ohone rings, and I was like, "I bet that's for me" and a second later there was a knock on my door, lol! And it was this dude from Food Country, at Southgate, and he was like "come in for an interview! today!" so I did. :)
Needless to say I rocked the socks off him, and he hired me on the spot. (:D that's twice in a row! lol!) So I start today at four thirty! woo-hoo! A&W is being a whore about my shifts though, cause I already have a conflict. BAH. Well, they're paying me eight fifty, and if I can squish my schedule around, NCO will pay me nine, so I can KICK fucking Assholes & Whores right out the fuckin window. :) woohoo!
My other news, pertaining to my title, is a certian proposition from a certain male who I've certainly been involved with before, lol. I'm very confused, I dunno what to do. I mean, one part of me is like, "whoo, boy!" And the other part of me is like, "you've been down that road before, though," and the third part of me is like, (Amber you'll be so proud, lol!) "I kinda...LIKE being single??? weird." I just don't know what to do. I;'m jsut gonna give it some time. I guess. That's all I really can do. I have enough on my plate with mys tupid schedule. How will I fit in boy in there, too?
I hung out with Sean last night and we went to see Over the Hedge. AWESOME movie! lol *I found my nuts!* I also got to see all the AWESOME people I used to work with and it made me so sad...I miss them all so much! I miss the Avalon in a weird way. I miss working with people who I really enjoy being around, and only dealing with mean supervisors once in a while. I got to see MATT!!!! He was so happy to see me, lol! He gave me a big hug and picked me up, and my little Pinto heart filled with joy! lol!
Anyways...Sean and I went home, and he stayed the night. *shrug*...
This morning, we were lying in bed, cause we were lazy and didn't wanna get up yet. And the ohone rings, and I was like, "I bet that's for me" and a second later there was a knock on my door, lol! And it was this dude from Food Country, at Southgate, and he was like "come in for an interview! today!" so I did. :)
Needless to say I rocked the socks off him, and he hired me on the spot. (:D that's twice in a row! lol!) So I start today at four thirty! woo-hoo! A&W is being a whore about my shifts though, cause I already have a conflict. BAH. Well, they're paying me eight fifty, and if I can squish my schedule around, NCO will pay me nine, so I can KICK fucking Assholes & Whores right out the fuckin window. :) woohoo!
My other news, pertaining to my title, is a certian proposition from a certain male who I've certainly been involved with before, lol. I'm very confused, I dunno what to do. I mean, one part of me is like, "whoo, boy!" And the other part of me is like, "you've been down that road before, though," and the third part of me is like, (Amber you'll be so proud, lol!) "I kinda...LIKE being single??? weird." I just don't know what to do. I;'m jsut gonna give it some time. I guess. That's all I really can do. I have enough on my plate with mys tupid schedule. How will I fit in boy in there, too?
Friday, June 02, 2006
I. AM. SO. SICK. OF. GUYS. AND. THEIR. BULLSHIT.
when a girl says NO,
SHE FUCKING MEANS NO!
Don't try to fucking convince her, don't try to tell her that it just wasn't being done right before, just take her FUCKING WORD FOR IT
FUCKBHLSDAHFVBAZKSDHVBLSdkjvb;a>DMnbvl.jkszdrg;
NO, I'm not going to have sex with you the very first time I meet you.
NO, I won't like anal just because YOU'RE the one who's doing it.
NO, it's not ok, to make me feel something I shouldn't for someone there's no chance of happiness with.
NO, I AM NOT YOUR OBJECT! I am not your toy, I am NOT your playboy bunny! I am not ANYTHING you dream about in your wildest fantaisies. I am who I am, and if you don't like it, go shove it.
I am pretty fucking awesome. And it takes EFFORT to find that. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEADS, boys. Not I HAVE A PENIS AND A WEBCAM SO SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING TITTIES!
FUCK OFF, YOU!
I am MORE than a walking vagina.
I am MORE than a good fuck.
I am MORE than you'll ever have again if you're too stupid to not be able to see past my breasts.
And if you boys don't start figuring that out, you'll never get any from me.
SHE FUCKING MEANS NO!
Don't try to fucking convince her, don't try to tell her that it just wasn't being done right before, just take her FUCKING WORD FOR IT
FUCKBHLSDAHFVBAZKSDHVBLSdkjvb;a>DMnbvl.jkszdrg;
NO, I'm not going to have sex with you the very first time I meet you.
NO, I won't like anal just because YOU'RE the one who's doing it.
NO, it's not ok, to make me feel something I shouldn't for someone there's no chance of happiness with.
NO, I AM NOT YOUR OBJECT! I am not your toy, I am NOT your playboy bunny! I am not ANYTHING you dream about in your wildest fantaisies. I am who I am, and if you don't like it, go shove it.
I am pretty fucking awesome. And it takes EFFORT to find that. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEADS, boys. Not I HAVE A PENIS AND A WEBCAM SO SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING TITTIES!
FUCK OFF, YOU!
I am MORE than a walking vagina.
I am MORE than a good fuck.
I am MORE than you'll ever have again if you're too stupid to not be able to see past my breasts.
And if you boys don't start figuring that out, you'll never get any from me.
Amber had a dream!!!
and it shall be analysed, post-haste. This is her dream and once you read it, I shall analyse it as best I can! :) (erm, and I posted below, so don't forget to check that one out too...HOT DONNA!)
My book says that being an audience member in a creative display (in a dream) can represent the need to draw inspiration from others. In that case, it doesn't surprise me that me Geoff and Kaitlyn were in your dream. We're all in the theatre program, we're probably the closest Mals to you, and it makes sense that we're the ones you draw insiration from. My book also said that the artistic nature of performance dreams can sometimes yeild good ideas; exactly why we should TOTALLY make a short of your dream!!!! With a dummy dressed as me that morphs into Kaitlyn! lol!
Nothing really jumped out at me when I read Successes and Failures, but it strikes me that when I forgot my line in your dream, I was failing and when no one else could help me, you came through and SUCCEEDED at helping me succeed with my line. It didn't say what that represented though.
Also in successes and failures, it said that hurdles may stand in your way, which represent a particular challenge facing the dreamer in real life. In your dream, you were pushing through the audience to make your way to the stage, ostensibly to congratulate us, but I have a feeling there was a deeper meanign there as well. I suppose, in your case, it would represent your fighting the desire to be pushed along with the "audience" and forget about being onstage and just ahve yourself a normal life, but you push your way against them--I would say because you want to be onstage so much. Eventually you get to the stage in you dream, but you come up from underground, and nobody's there...that's a pretty specific sequence, and I'll research that further before I publish this post. What it says to me (and this is purely my opinion, mind you) is that, you WANT to be an actress, and you're fighting your way there, but...well I don't know what the underground part is...maybe it's a warning against choosing unconventional "*underground*" routes to make it in acting. It's a warning ebcause when you get there, you're alone. I suppose going underground represents ways of getting there in your profession that are less than honest...or something. I would categorize (and I'm not saying you would or WILL do this, it's just what is suggested to me) sleeping your way to the top, backstabbing, lying, basically getting what you want decietfully under "sinking underground." And then eventually, you GET to the stage, so your dream is saying, even if you do make it with this underground method, you'll still be alone. Which would obviously represent, having no friends to enjoy it with. Someone who makes their way in life by lying and cheating, probably has lost their true friends long before they actually got where they wanted to be. So maybe this part of the dream is a warning against that. Maybe instead of sinking underground, you should keep fighting your way through the audience, or even JUMP way over their heads (cause in a dream everything is possible) to make it to the stage. :) You can do it Amber. I believe in your audience-fighting capabilities!!! lol
OH DUDE! Tripping and falling (like how you did when you tried to save me/Donna, "emerges as a reminder of failure to take care of the most basic aspects of life." The book also says that dreamers rarely find hitting the ground distressing; they either don't hit it, or it doesn't bother them. I'm assuming it didn't hurt you in your dream when you fell, so that would be a reminder that disasters don't always lead to long-term harm. Now the fact, that someone else was falling in your dream probably represents the failure or fall of a friendship...and you ran to save it, and tripped and fell. It's a reminder that friendships take work I guess, and that you have to remember the basic aspects of friendships, so that you can make it there in time to save me or Donna the next time. That's just MY interpretation, I dunno if anyone agrees with me. The whole of this part of the dream suggests to me, the whole nexopia situation we had on our hands a little while ago. My and your friendship was failing becausde of somethign that I thought, and you tried to save it. Now you tripping and falling I would say represents either your failure to do so (but I don't think so, cause we're still friends) or the reminder that unless you take care of more basic details (making sure you have rides home after parties; not getting so upset :P) you COULD fail to do so. But it's ok, your dreams says, because even if you do fail, it may seem like your life is ending now, but in the long-term, you'll be ok. And look what happened! You're ok, now.
Ok, so...this is again, my interpretation of what the book said. I'm reading about relationships in dreams, and a friend that morphs into a stranger subbests ambivilance on the dreamer's part towards the retlationship. In your case, I ( a pretty good friend) turned into Donna (your best friend) after I fell from the catwalk. I think this is a representation of real life, of what has already happened. You adn I were good friends at the start of the year, and then halfway through, we kind of grew apart--our friendship "fell" a little. But out of that, you got to be better friends with Donna and Geoff. So me turning into Donna is that although I fell, our friendship petering off, cleared the way for a better one with Donna! That is totally my interpretation and has only the SLIGHTEST relationship to what I was reading. just a little disclaimer there! lol!
The book also say that dreams about friends and people you know in real life are just representations and not portrayals of the actual friends, although there are exceptions. In my opinion, I think this is one of the exceptions, where we as characters in your dreams are playing ourselves, but representing situations and ideas that involve us in your waking life. However, I may find more in the second book abotu that, so there may be more about that before I publish this post.
Teeny tiny little note, something I found that may apply: when you wanted to (but couldn't) call 911, that's a hospital reference, therefore probably a representation of a desire to relinquish control when things get too hairy for you to handle. Now, if I'm right about this, then this has a great deal of significance in relationship to the rest of the dream. 1st things 1st: I had fallen from the catwalk (and then morphed into Donna, but I don't think that part has much relevance) and you'd tried to save me, but tripped. Ok, so obviously your dream has told you that our relationship could (has/will) fall, and unless you work at the little things that make all the difference, you won't be able to save it. Then you try to call 911, no one's around. Your dream is telling you that even though you WANT to relinquish control, and feel overwhelmed by the situation and want someone to take care of it for you, YOU CAN'T. you can't you can't you can't. I think that this is your subconscious' way of giving you a strong kick in the ass. Which is good! You know what you have to do, then. So now, all that's left is to do it! :) And it won't be so hard. You have me and Geoff and Donna and others to help you!
Ok, the leash thing intrigued me and amde me want to analyse this right from the start so I'm going to give it my all right now. First thing I read was the Captivity section in my dream book. It had nothing that jumped out at me, so I'm just going to make some connections on my own. So--Freud says that dreams of being tied up represent repressed sexual fantasies dating back to childhood, and while I think dreams have many themes in them, I also think Freud's a douche. So we won't listen to him. One thing that I noticed about your being on the leash was that you made no mention of wanting to break free...this says to me that whatever your subconscious is associating in real life to being captive, it's not something that you're particularly scared of, or bothered by. The fact that me and Geoff were leading you, is one of those examples I think where the character represents aspects of life, NOT the actual person. Let's think about this for a sec: At first you're being lead by Geoff. Now I know you two are pretty good friends, and you also have this weird thing where you insult each other all the time. I'm sure this is all fun and games, but I'm also sure that on some level, (just like my mom always used to tell me, lol!) both of you are hurt by it. I think that in this section of the dream, the figure of Geoff represents something about your own personality, or psyche (as does the figure of me) and you feel bound by it...but strangely this is ok, to you. I dunno about Geoff, but the representation of me leading you could represent your own ambition, and your feeling tied to it. It makes sense to me, because I'm such an overtly ambitious person, that your subconscious ties me to the idea. Geoff...well I just don't know. Maybe creativity...maybe social graces...actually I'm full of shit when it comes to you on Geoff's leash. I have no idea. lol. yeah, neither book had anything particularly great on leashes, or captivity or imprisoned...I'll search it on the internet and see what I find...I'll edit this post when I do.
So hopefully that helped! I found a lot of conflicting stuff, in relation to your dream. For instance theatre was dealt with as a total symbol in one book, and I just didn't see it applying to you. The stage is our life, so there's no symbolism there other than in the smaller details. The fact that a stage was the stage of your dream just says that the stage is the common backdrop of your waking life. For this dream, the goodies were all in the details. :) Give me feedback, everybody, wether you think I'm pretty much right, or full of shit! woo!
My book says that being an audience member in a creative display (in a dream) can represent the need to draw inspiration from others. In that case, it doesn't surprise me that me Geoff and Kaitlyn were in your dream. We're all in the theatre program, we're probably the closest Mals to you, and it makes sense that we're the ones you draw insiration from. My book also said that the artistic nature of performance dreams can sometimes yeild good ideas; exactly why we should TOTALLY make a short of your dream!!!! With a dummy dressed as me that morphs into Kaitlyn! lol!
Nothing really jumped out at me when I read Successes and Failures, but it strikes me that when I forgot my line in your dream, I was failing and when no one else could help me, you came through and SUCCEEDED at helping me succeed with my line. It didn't say what that represented though.
:O OMG! My book says that dancing in a dream can represent sexual courtship or intercourse....!!!! ACK! Amber, take a look at how you were feeling when you saw me and Geoff dancing...if you were unhappy, maybe in real life you're jealous of a percieved relationship or bond between me and him. Me and Geoff are really good friends...btu we are CERTAINLY not doing it! lol!!!
OH DUDE! Tripping and falling (like how you did when you tried to save me/Donna, "emerges as a reminder of failure to take care of the most basic aspects of life." The book also says that dreamers rarely find hitting the ground distressing; they either don't hit it, or it doesn't bother them. I'm assuming it didn't hurt you in your dream when you fell, so that would be a reminder that disasters don't always lead to long-term harm. Now the fact, that someone else was falling in your dream probably represents the failure or fall of a friendship...and you ran to save it, and tripped and fell. It's a reminder that friendships take work I guess, and that you have to remember the basic aspects of friendships, so that you can make it there in time to save me or Donna the next time. That's just MY interpretation, I dunno if anyone agrees with me. The whole of this part of the dream suggests to me, the whole nexopia situation we had on our hands a little while ago. My and your friendship was failing becausde of somethign that I thought, and you tried to save it. Now you tripping and falling I would say represents either your failure to do so (but I don't think so, cause we're still friends) or the reminder that unless you take care of more basic details (making sure you have rides home after parties; not getting so upset :P) you COULD fail to do so. But it's ok, your dreams says, because even if you do fail, it may seem like your life is ending now, but in the long-term, you'll be ok. And look what happened! You're ok, now.
Ok, so...this is again, my interpretation of what the book said. I'm reading about relationships in dreams, and a friend that morphs into a stranger subbests ambivilance on the dreamer's part towards the retlationship. In your case, I ( a pretty good friend) turned into Donna (your best friend) after I fell from the catwalk. I think this is a representation of real life, of what has already happened. You adn I were good friends at the start of the year, and then halfway through, we kind of grew apart--our friendship "fell" a little. But out of that, you got to be better friends with Donna and Geoff. So me turning into Donna is that although I fell, our friendship petering off, cleared the way for a better one with Donna! That is totally my interpretation and has only the SLIGHTEST relationship to what I was reading. just a little disclaimer there! lol!
The book also say that dreams about friends and people you know in real life are just representations and not portrayals of the actual friends, although there are exceptions. In my opinion, I think this is one of the exceptions, where we as characters in your dreams are playing ourselves, but representing situations and ideas that involve us in your waking life. However, I may find more in the second book abotu that, so there may be more about that before I publish this post.
Teeny tiny little note, something I found that may apply: when you wanted to (but couldn't) call 911, that's a hospital reference, therefore probably a representation of a desire to relinquish control when things get too hairy for you to handle. Now, if I'm right about this, then this has a great deal of significance in relationship to the rest of the dream. 1st things 1st: I had fallen from the catwalk (and then morphed into Donna, but I don't think that part has much relevance) and you'd tried to save me, but tripped. Ok, so obviously your dream has told you that our relationship could (has/will) fall, and unless you work at the little things that make all the difference, you won't be able to save it. Then you try to call 911, no one's around. Your dream is telling you that even though you WANT to relinquish control, and feel overwhelmed by the situation and want someone to take care of it for you, YOU CAN'T. you can't you can't you can't. I think that this is your subconscious' way of giving you a strong kick in the ass. Which is good! You know what you have to do, then. So now, all that's left is to do it! :) And it won't be so hard. You have me and Geoff and Donna and others to help you!
Ok, the leash thing intrigued me and amde me want to analyse this right from the start so I'm going to give it my all right now. First thing I read was the Captivity section in my dream book. It had nothing that jumped out at me, so I'm just going to make some connections on my own. So--Freud says that dreams of being tied up represent repressed sexual fantasies dating back to childhood, and while I think dreams have many themes in them, I also think Freud's a douche. So we won't listen to him. One thing that I noticed about your being on the leash was that you made no mention of wanting to break free...this says to me that whatever your subconscious is associating in real life to being captive, it's not something that you're particularly scared of, or bothered by. The fact that me and Geoff were leading you, is one of those examples I think where the character represents aspects of life, NOT the actual person. Let's think about this for a sec: At first you're being lead by Geoff. Now I know you two are pretty good friends, and you also have this weird thing where you insult each other all the time. I'm sure this is all fun and games, but I'm also sure that on some level, (just like my mom always used to tell me, lol!) both of you are hurt by it. I think that in this section of the dream, the figure of Geoff represents something about your own personality, or psyche (as does the figure of me) and you feel bound by it...but strangely this is ok, to you. I dunno about Geoff, but the representation of me leading you could represent your own ambition, and your feeling tied to it. It makes sense to me, because I'm such an overtly ambitious person, that your subconscious ties me to the idea. Geoff...well I just don't know. Maybe creativity...maybe social graces...actually I'm full of shit when it comes to you on Geoff's leash. I have no idea. lol. yeah, neither book had anything particularly great on leashes, or captivity or imprisoned...I'll search it on the internet and see what I find...I'll edit this post when I do.
So hopefully that helped! I found a lot of conflicting stuff, in relation to your dream. For instance theatre was dealt with as a total symbol in one book, and I just didn't see it applying to you. The stage is our life, so there's no symbolism there other than in the smaller details. The fact that a stage was the stage of your dream just says that the stage is the common backdrop of your waking life. For this dream, the goodies were all in the details. :) Give me feedback, everybody, wether you think I'm pretty much right, or full of shit! woo!
I feel like an ass
I accidentally double booked myself last night and when I tried to fit both things in, Brianna and Barbara's get-together at their new place unfortunately got cut...I just didn't want to want from Ace's to their place in the rain! :( I feel really bad. When Brianna hung up after she called me, I was just like, "yep. she's mad."
in other news, last night was fun. I met Ace at Harewood and we went on a bus adventure! :) I saw African Daisies on my way their and was obsessed with making a chain of them, so before we caught the bus, I made him wait until I was done. I wanted to make a lei, but I didn't have enough. :( So I made him a crown. He of course thought it made him look like gay so I put it on his purse instead (does anyone see a slight dichotomoy here??? :P)
He is apparently doing quite quite well. He got a promotion at the Port and has lots of work lined up. Ace is easily the most successful of last year's class of Mal theatres. He gave me this pep talk last night about how I had to stop working so hard for stuff that I didn't love, and go "screw it; I'd rather put this energy towards working hard towards doing what I love--acting" So, with this in mind, as soon as I get my paycheck I'm going to fuck off to Vancouver for a weekend, and go on some auditions. I mean, it's not like it'll screw with my bills-last time I went to Vancouver with 8 bucks in my pocket and that was for a week! If I go while I'm on the cleanse, I WON'T need food, and I WON'T need smokes, and Llowyn will probably let me stay with him. I'll be totally cool. And I'll get used to going to Vancouver and using the scary buses all by myself.
I have to say, out of all the people who have told me "fuck your fright--you're gonna make it", Ace's tends to stick with me, because he IS doing it. I would say Laura McNaught and Ace are the two people in my varied groups of friends who are already on their way to making a living in this industry and I admire them both a lot.
Oddly enough, does anyone else notice how weird it is that is costs a lot LESS to go to Vancouver, then it does to go to Victoria...which is ON the island with us??? weird.
hmmm...I had something I wanted to say, what was it...Oh yeah, the reason I wanted to post in the first place! lol! I've decided that "hot donna" should be a term that describes any female, like "sheila" in Australia. why? because I stole a HAWT picture of Kaitlin off her myspace, and I named it Hot Donna...and the phrase stuck with me. Yet another example of genius from your old reliable Pinto! :D hahahaha! (makes me sound like a Chevy! lol)
So. As soon as I shower, and get out of my pajamas, I am going to be one HOT DONNA!!! lol!
PS: kids cramp my hot-donna style. That they do.
in other news, last night was fun. I met Ace at Harewood and we went on a bus adventure! :) I saw African Daisies on my way their and was obsessed with making a chain of them, so before we caught the bus, I made him wait until I was done. I wanted to make a lei, but I didn't have enough. :( So I made him a crown. He of course thought it made him look like gay so I put it on his purse instead (does anyone see a slight dichotomoy here??? :P)
He is apparently doing quite quite well. He got a promotion at the Port and has lots of work lined up. Ace is easily the most successful of last year's class of Mal theatres. He gave me this pep talk last night about how I had to stop working so hard for stuff that I didn't love, and go "screw it; I'd rather put this energy towards working hard towards doing what I love--acting" So, with this in mind, as soon as I get my paycheck I'm going to fuck off to Vancouver for a weekend, and go on some auditions. I mean, it's not like it'll screw with my bills-last time I went to Vancouver with 8 bucks in my pocket and that was for a week! If I go while I'm on the cleanse, I WON'T need food, and I WON'T need smokes, and Llowyn will probably let me stay with him. I'll be totally cool. And I'll get used to going to Vancouver and using the scary buses all by myself.
I have to say, out of all the people who have told me "fuck your fright--you're gonna make it", Ace's tends to stick with me, because he IS doing it. I would say Laura McNaught and Ace are the two people in my varied groups of friends who are already on their way to making a living in this industry and I admire them both a lot.
Oddly enough, does anyone else notice how weird it is that is costs a lot LESS to go to Vancouver, then it does to go to Victoria...which is ON the island with us??? weird.
hmmm...I had something I wanted to say, what was it...Oh yeah, the reason I wanted to post in the first place! lol! I've decided that "hot donna" should be a term that describes any female, like "sheila" in Australia. why? because I stole a HAWT picture of Kaitlin off her myspace, and I named it Hot Donna...and the phrase stuck with me. Yet another example of genius from your old reliable Pinto! :D hahahaha! (makes me sound like a Chevy! lol)
So. As soon as I shower, and get out of my pajamas, I am going to be one HOT DONNA!!! lol!
PS: kids cramp my hot-donna style. That they do.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
WOO-FREAKIN-HOO, baby!
so, ok. last year when I was dating Ace, we went on a date just after I got off work, and somehow during the course of my evening, I lost my purse! :S I have no idea how I lost it, but I thought someone had stolen it. It bummed me out, so bad! Ace, I bet you remember that.
Anyhoo, I got a call today from Constable Somebody telling me that my purse had been found!!!! WITH all the money, ID and everything still in it!!!!!! FUCKIN AWESOME!!!!!!
So, my day just got a whole lot better! In other news, I have an interview with NCO next week. The choir show is coming up fast and hard!!! EVERYBODY better come! lol...it's by donation, so take an hour out of your important schedules and come listen to some harmonic goodness! As well, tonight I'm chillin with Ace and Michelle, and then after wards, I'm going to spend the night at Brianna and Barb's new place. Sounds dope!
Fun fun fun, and purses for me. :)
Anyhoo, I got a call today from Constable Somebody telling me that my purse had been found!!!! WITH all the money, ID and everything still in it!!!!!! FUCKIN AWESOME!!!!!!
So, my day just got a whole lot better! In other news, I have an interview with NCO next week. The choir show is coming up fast and hard!!! EVERYBODY better come! lol...it's by donation, so take an hour out of your important schedules and come listen to some harmonic goodness! As well, tonight I'm chillin with Ace and Michelle, and then after wards, I'm going to spend the night at Brianna and Barb's new place. Sounds dope!
Fun fun fun, and purses for me. :)
uh-oh
I think I may be getting a little desperate...eep. Signs: reading way too far into random conversatios with random people; re-obsessing over Taylor Hanson for an afternoon and feeling shitty that he has his own family; some *ahem* creative use of my imagination...various characters.
BAH
life sucks.
BAH
life sucks.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
survey time
So heres how it works: Open your choice of music player [iTunes, Limewire, Kazaa, ect.] and put it on shuffle. Press play. For every question type the song thats on. And when you go to a new question press the next button. No cheating. Ready?GO!
Opening credit: Combat Bay- Metric
Waking up: Uptown Girl - Billy Joel
Average day: Beat It - Micheal Jackson
First Date: Pink - Aerosmith
Falling in love: Motivation - Sum 41 (lol, now what is THAT supposed to mean!)
Fight scene: Magic Carpet Ride - Steppenwolf
Breaking up: Now We Are Free - Enya
Getting back together: Feuer Frei - Rammstein
Secret love: Modern Love - David Bowie
Life's okay: Life - Our Lady Peace (how true)
Mental breakdown: True Blue - Bright Eyes (???)
Driving: Do You Want To - Franz Ferdinand (YES, I wanna drive! lol)
Learning a lesson: Queen Bitch - David Bowie (hahaha...I think it's telling me I AM one)
Deep thought: Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve (again, so true "cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life/ tryin to make ends meet, you're a slave to money then you die/"
Flashback: My Vagina - NOFX (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! that was seriously stuck in my head all morning at work "my vagina has a set of lips/ but I don't get monthly blood drips/")
Partying: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor! - Drowning Pool (once they've passed out, lol)
Happy dance: ok, at first it was Hash Pipe by Weezer, but then my player couldn't play it, so now it's Little Black Backpack by Stroke 9. I think the first one fits better!
Regretting: Thoughts of a Dying Atheist - Muse
Long night alone: No One Knows - Queens of the Stonge Age (aww, I feel sorry for me... :( )
Death scene: It's So Quiet - Bjork (hmmm...)
Belated Media Player/ iTunes survey
ok, I use both, so the first # will be Media Player, and the second will be iTunes
how many songs: 170 / 51
sort by artisit
first artist: Aerosmith / 3 Doors Down
last artist: The Verve / Weezer
sort by song title
first song: Alone in the Universe - David Usher / 99 Red Ballons - Goldfinger
last song: The Zephyr Song - RHCP / Young Americans - David Bowie
Sort by time
Shortest Song: Bam Margera on Helium 0:41 / Cool People Suck - Perfect Chaos 1:10
Longest Song: Glosoli - Sigur Ros 6:16 / Staralfur - Sigur Ros 6:47
Sort by album
First Album: 10 Things I Hate ABout You Soundtrack / 16 Greatest Hits Steppenwolf
Last Album: Young Americans David Bowie / Whatever and Ever Amen Ben Folds
How many songs come up when you search for "sex" - 0 / 1
How many songs come up when you search for "death"? - 3 / 0
How many songs come up when you search for "love"? - 10 / 0
Opening credit: Combat Bay- Metric
Waking up: Uptown Girl - Billy Joel
Average day: Beat It - Micheal Jackson
First Date: Pink - Aerosmith
Falling in love: Motivation - Sum 41 (lol, now what is THAT supposed to mean!)
Fight scene: Magic Carpet Ride - Steppenwolf
Breaking up: Now We Are Free - Enya
Getting back together: Feuer Frei - Rammstein
Secret love: Modern Love - David Bowie
Life's okay: Life - Our Lady Peace (how true)
Mental breakdown: True Blue - Bright Eyes (???)
Driving: Do You Want To - Franz Ferdinand (YES, I wanna drive! lol)
Learning a lesson: Queen Bitch - David Bowie (hahaha...I think it's telling me I AM one)
Deep thought: Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve (again, so true "cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life/ tryin to make ends meet, you're a slave to money then you die/"
Flashback: My Vagina - NOFX (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! that was seriously stuck in my head all morning at work "my vagina has a set of lips/ but I don't get monthly blood drips/")
Partying: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor! - Drowning Pool (once they've passed out, lol)
Happy dance: ok, at first it was Hash Pipe by Weezer, but then my player couldn't play it, so now it's Little Black Backpack by Stroke 9. I think the first one fits better!
Regretting: Thoughts of a Dying Atheist - Muse
Long night alone: No One Knows - Queens of the Stonge Age (aww, I feel sorry for me... :( )
Death scene: It's So Quiet - Bjork (hmmm...)
Belated Media Player/ iTunes survey
ok, I use both, so the first # will be Media Player, and the second will be iTunes
how many songs: 170 / 51
sort by artisit
first artist: Aerosmith / 3 Doors Down
last artist: The Verve / Weezer
sort by song title
first song: Alone in the Universe - David Usher / 99 Red Ballons - Goldfinger
last song: The Zephyr Song - RHCP / Young Americans - David Bowie
Sort by time
Shortest Song: Bam Margera on Helium 0:41 / Cool People Suck - Perfect Chaos 1:10
Longest Song: Glosoli - Sigur Ros 6:16 / Staralfur - Sigur Ros 6:47
Sort by album
First Album: 10 Things I Hate ABout You Soundtrack / 16 Greatest Hits Steppenwolf
Last Album: Young Americans David Bowie / Whatever and Ever Amen Ben Folds
How many songs come up when you search for "sex" - 0 / 1
How many songs come up when you search for "death"? - 3 / 0
How many songs come up when you search for "love"? - 10 / 0
2nd Gregless day in a row! w00t!
It was *sigh* sublime.
However, it was a stressful day, as Steve, the general manager who's way more of a hardass than Greg was there today during the morning, and just beofre morning shift ended he was like, "Alleah, you're on drive thru until two." And I was like, WTF??? I've barely learned how the drive thru til works!
But he was all hardassy and, "then you'll learn the hard way" so I bumbled my way through two orders before I got the hang of it.
Then, it got SUPER SUPER busy. Well, for me anyway, and I was panicking and Geoff, who was also on headset had to take over for me...it was nutz.
The thing about fast food as opposed to Concession, that consession rushes get so crazy busy, (up to like two hundred people at least wanting food all at the same time on some nights) that you MUST have two or three, or preferably more tills open. In fast food, there's one, maybe two front counter tills, and drive thru and your biggest rushes (at that particular A&W, anyways) will be around twenty people. So you have point ppl, getting food for you. And for me, that's kind of weird. I;m used to having to get everything for my own customers because every other person working that night had their own till. But there, you're either on a til, or not. And it's weird to me...I never know what's been taken care of, what I still need to worry about. But whatever, it's still my second week. oh...well, actually beginning of my third. but fuck everybody! I think I'll do fine.
Anyways enough shop talk. I'm hungry. I want food. Gotta enjoy it while it lasts before I start The Cleanse!!!
However, it was a stressful day, as Steve, the general manager who's way more of a hardass than Greg was there today during the morning, and just beofre morning shift ended he was like, "Alleah, you're on drive thru until two." And I was like, WTF??? I've barely learned how the drive thru til works!
But he was all hardassy and, "then you'll learn the hard way" so I bumbled my way through two orders before I got the hang of it.
Then, it got SUPER SUPER busy. Well, for me anyway, and I was panicking and Geoff, who was also on headset had to take over for me...it was nutz.
The thing about fast food as opposed to Concession, that consession rushes get so crazy busy, (up to like two hundred people at least wanting food all at the same time on some nights) that you MUST have two or three, or preferably more tills open. In fast food, there's one, maybe two front counter tills, and drive thru and your biggest rushes (at that particular A&W, anyways) will be around twenty people. So you have point ppl, getting food for you. And for me, that's kind of weird. I;m used to having to get everything for my own customers because every other person working that night had their own till. But there, you're either on a til, or not. And it's weird to me...I never know what's been taken care of, what I still need to worry about. But whatever, it's still my second week. oh...well, actually beginning of my third. but fuck everybody! I think I'll do fine.
Anyways enough shop talk. I'm hungry. I want food. Gotta enjoy it while it lasts before I start The Cleanse!!!
"And I listen to that kind of BULLshit...cause it's good"
^^^ Bam Margera on Helium.
I.
Love.
Music.
I love it love it love it! I just downloaded a bunch of tuneage that I used to listen to when I was younger, (bad BAD music, but I still love it so) and then I burnt two CD's, and now I'm moving certain songs from my iTunes to my Media Player, and I've just been listening and listening and listening, and for a while, I was just zoning out and watching my battery and listening to music thinking about how AWESOME it is! I love music! All kinds of music!
Right now I'm listening to the Moffatts. Yeah, I bet you hate them. But the song I'm listening to is super super great. "You're so miserable/and I'm invisible/this love's predictable/and you're so TYPICAL" AWESOME! And I downloaded some new Hanson that just came out, and I love them more than ever. Oh how I adore music.
And, Geoff, shut up! Hanson released their last album (acoustic) on their own independent record label, and are now considered (by the entire known world, not just me, fucker) to be a new INDIE band. So fuck you.
:) *lurves*, Geoff! (lol, I think I can hear you retching as I type!)
But don't despair! My taste isn't ALL in my feet! The CD I just burnt also has some sweet Sum 41, and some Killers, and some Muse, and an awesome song by Turbonegro that Brianna, I think you would actually like. A song by Roger Alan Wade to give it a little depth...well kind of. I put If You're Gonna Be Dumb from the Jackass soundtrack on it! A little Tanric, and Everclear, some Ben Folds, and OF COURSE, a bit of Franz. And to top it all off, O Fortuna at the end! WOO-HOO!
It is of course, aptly titled, my ROCK YOUR FUCKIN SOCKS OFF cd. :)
I LOVE music.
I.
Love.
Music.
I love it love it love it! I just downloaded a bunch of tuneage that I used to listen to when I was younger, (bad BAD music, but I still love it so) and then I burnt two CD's, and now I'm moving certain songs from my iTunes to my Media Player, and I've just been listening and listening and listening, and for a while, I was just zoning out and watching my battery and listening to music thinking about how AWESOME it is! I love music! All kinds of music!
Right now I'm listening to the Moffatts. Yeah, I bet you hate them. But the song I'm listening to is super super great. "You're so miserable/and I'm invisible/this love's predictable/and you're so TYPICAL" AWESOME! And I downloaded some new Hanson that just came out, and I love them more than ever. Oh how I adore music.
And, Geoff, shut up! Hanson released their last album (acoustic) on their own independent record label, and are now considered (by the entire known world, not just me, fucker) to be a new INDIE band. So fuck you.
:) *lurves*, Geoff! (lol, I think I can hear you retching as I type!)
But don't despair! My taste isn't ALL in my feet! The CD I just burnt also has some sweet Sum 41, and some Killers, and some Muse, and an awesome song by Turbonegro that Brianna, I think you would actually like. A song by Roger Alan Wade to give it a little depth...well kind of. I put If You're Gonna Be Dumb from the Jackass soundtrack on it! A little Tanric, and Everclear, some Ben Folds, and OF COURSE, a bit of Franz. And to top it all off, O Fortuna at the end! WOO-HOO!
It is of course, aptly titled, my ROCK YOUR FUCKIN SOCKS OFF cd. :)
I LOVE music.
Monday, May 29, 2006
feeling so much better yesterday and today
I do believe the "boil has been lanced" as mum would have said. Ever since that vent, I've felt so much better. Even work hasn't been nearly as bad (despite Greg the Ass Bastard making me scrub the concrete outside with bleach two days in a row).
Yesterday was actually a lot of fun. I spent like an hour slicing onions in the kitchen, with the cooks, Jack and Jake. It was so funny; a couple of days ago, they asked how told I was, and I told them that I was an offia-midget, adnt ehy've been obsessed over that ever since, lol. Yesterday, they were asking me all sorts of retarded things like, "can you climb walls?" "can you fly?" It was so funny, Jack was like, "can you read minds?" and I was like, "*sigh* ...yes." and he looked at Jake and was like, "we need to start wearing lead helmets." I laughed so hard for like five minutes, it was great! I told them I'd pay them to wear them to work.
Another time, Jack was like, "I'm a little disappointed in you Alleah. Every midget I've ever seen walked like this:" and he waddled over to the back sink. The he was like, "I wanted to bring my parents in to see you waddle" and I was like, "oh, I'll waddle for your parents...five bucks per parental visit" and he was like, "ok" it was so funny. I love my kitchen boys! :)
Greg's still a jerk face, though. I hate how instead of asking me to do something straight out, he'll take me to whatever it is, and waste so much time by going over how dirty he thinks it is, or exactly why we put napkins in the bag before ketchup, or whatever else he feels like saying, before he actually tells me to do anything. He phrases any request in a "look how *random adjective basically referring to undesireable* this is," and expects me to just assume he wants me to do it. He'll actually take me away from other jobs that are more important to have me do these. Yesterday he tried to tell me that scrubbing the concrete was more important than slicing the onions until Jack was finally like, "Greg, there's four orders on the screen. I'm going to need you to do something, or get out of my kitchen." I was like, go Jack! That's the thing about Greg, he's such a dogfucker. (construction term for those who sit around and do nothing while others work; Quinn used to call me a dogfucker all the time) His service times suck; seriously, I've been there a week, and my service times pwn his, and I don't know what the fuck I'm even doing! He'd rather sit around and complain about something that isn't JUST exactly how he wants it, then help when there's orders to be filled. He'll actually complain to me about the way I do something AS I'm doing it, and make me stop and watch exactly how he thinks I'm supposed to do it, when there's customers waiting for their fucking food. He's such a retard, it's unbelievable. Yesterday he started to train me on drive thru, and he was like, "come here." I came there. He's like, "no come here" and points to an exact spot on the counter beside him. I seriously have never wanted to punch someone so hard in my life. I'm working with a giganticly tall, even stupider version of Tinnion again! RAWR. I think what I hate the most is that he's so patronizing, but when it comes right down to it, a girl who's been there a week is a better worker than him.
What. A. Tool.
other than that, though, I'm doing much better. I had coffee with Courtney this morning and we just talked and talked and talked. About Quinn, about the wedding and her moving in, about April and Lily, and her nephew Jace, about Mom. She read me a poem she wrote for Mom and I read her my huge vent. We both had a good cry. It was really nice.
Even Dream a Little Dream of Me is coming along. We've learnt the whole thing, it just needs refining and dynamics. I have to say, I'm frustrated with the pacing, though. We change time on our own like three times throughout, and I actually like it, except for our hesitant pauses just before we change time. I tried fixing it yesterday during rehearsal, but I still didnt like it. That's probably the thing that I'm going to hate about this song, because I doubt we'll ever get it the way I'll feel good about it. And if we do, it'll be with a lot more practice than what we have available before the show next week. Oh well...the song on the whole is sounding great. I'm missing singing the way we used to. The Collective hasn't done anything for so long, I miss it a lot. But this August, Sharon's new choir will start and I'll have my fix of harmonic goodness, woo! Y'all better come to our shows, and see how awesome we are! That's one great thing about starting a new choir. Collective will get a ton of chances for individual sets, because Sharon loves us and will want us to sing our own stuff at every opportunity, lol! And knowing Sharon, we'll have the opportunity for accompaniment a LOT more, which will make my year! A couple of weeks ago, I had a minor tussle with Collective because Geoff and I wanted to start doing more things with accompaniment (cause it would feel more professional) and Laura and Brianna wanted to stay a cappella. There's room for compromise there, I think. I adore a cappella stuff, and there will always be purely a cappella arrangements to do, but I do feel as often as possible we should sing with accompaniment. I mean, you guys know me...if it isn't good enough to get paid for, I don't wanna do it at all, lol!
I'm hoping with more shows, and more opportunity for PAYING shows under my belt, I'll have enough extra dollars to get myself some singing lessons. If I start studying under Sharon, then she'll want me to sing at the choir shows, and that's just more opportunity to get my own name well known in Nanaimo, right?
Life is going pretty darn good right now, I think. Singing onstage, despite my not being as good at it as acting, has always made me happier than anything, so I think I should make that a necessary thing. I love performance!
Wednesday, June 7th, Wellington Choir Year End Performance, feat. The Collective! Be there,
or be square! By donation.
Yesterday was actually a lot of fun. I spent like an hour slicing onions in the kitchen, with the cooks, Jack and Jake. It was so funny; a couple of days ago, they asked how told I was, and I told them that I was an offia-midget, adnt ehy've been obsessed over that ever since, lol. Yesterday, they were asking me all sorts of retarded things like, "can you climb walls?" "can you fly?" It was so funny, Jack was like, "can you read minds?" and I was like, "*sigh* ...yes." and he looked at Jake and was like, "we need to start wearing lead helmets." I laughed so hard for like five minutes, it was great! I told them I'd pay them to wear them to work.
Another time, Jack was like, "I'm a little disappointed in you Alleah. Every midget I've ever seen walked like this:" and he waddled over to the back sink. The he was like, "I wanted to bring my parents in to see you waddle" and I was like, "oh, I'll waddle for your parents...five bucks per parental visit" and he was like, "ok" it was so funny. I love my kitchen boys! :)
Greg's still a jerk face, though. I hate how instead of asking me to do something straight out, he'll take me to whatever it is, and waste so much time by going over how dirty he thinks it is, or exactly why we put napkins in the bag before ketchup, or whatever else he feels like saying, before he actually tells me to do anything. He phrases any request in a "look how *random adjective basically referring to undesireable* this is," and expects me to just assume he wants me to do it. He'll actually take me away from other jobs that are more important to have me do these. Yesterday he tried to tell me that scrubbing the concrete was more important than slicing the onions until Jack was finally like, "Greg, there's four orders on the screen. I'm going to need you to do something, or get out of my kitchen." I was like, go Jack! That's the thing about Greg, he's such a dogfucker. (construction term for those who sit around and do nothing while others work; Quinn used to call me a dogfucker all the time) His service times suck; seriously, I've been there a week, and my service times pwn his, and I don't know what the fuck I'm even doing! He'd rather sit around and complain about something that isn't JUST exactly how he wants it, then help when there's orders to be filled. He'll actually complain to me about the way I do something AS I'm doing it, and make me stop and watch exactly how he thinks I'm supposed to do it, when there's customers waiting for their fucking food. He's such a retard, it's unbelievable. Yesterday he started to train me on drive thru, and he was like, "come here." I came there. He's like, "no come here" and points to an exact spot on the counter beside him. I seriously have never wanted to punch someone so hard in my life. I'm working with a giganticly tall, even stupider version of Tinnion again! RAWR. I think what I hate the most is that he's so patronizing, but when it comes right down to it, a girl who's been there a week is a better worker than him.
What. A. Tool.
other than that, though, I'm doing much better. I had coffee with Courtney this morning and we just talked and talked and talked. About Quinn, about the wedding and her moving in, about April and Lily, and her nephew Jace, about Mom. She read me a poem she wrote for Mom and I read her my huge vent. We both had a good cry. It was really nice.
Even Dream a Little Dream of Me is coming along. We've learnt the whole thing, it just needs refining and dynamics. I have to say, I'm frustrated with the pacing, though. We change time on our own like three times throughout, and I actually like it, except for our hesitant pauses just before we change time. I tried fixing it yesterday during rehearsal, but I still didnt like it. That's probably the thing that I'm going to hate about this song, because I doubt we'll ever get it the way I'll feel good about it. And if we do, it'll be with a lot more practice than what we have available before the show next week. Oh well...the song on the whole is sounding great. I'm missing singing the way we used to. The Collective hasn't done anything for so long, I miss it a lot. But this August, Sharon's new choir will start and I'll have my fix of harmonic goodness, woo! Y'all better come to our shows, and see how awesome we are! That's one great thing about starting a new choir. Collective will get a ton of chances for individual sets, because Sharon loves us and will want us to sing our own stuff at every opportunity, lol! And knowing Sharon, we'll have the opportunity for accompaniment a LOT more, which will make my year! A couple of weeks ago, I had a minor tussle with Collective because Geoff and I wanted to start doing more things with accompaniment (cause it would feel more professional) and Laura and Brianna wanted to stay a cappella. There's room for compromise there, I think. I adore a cappella stuff, and there will always be purely a cappella arrangements to do, but I do feel as often as possible we should sing with accompaniment. I mean, you guys know me...if it isn't good enough to get paid for, I don't wanna do it at all, lol!
I'm hoping with more shows, and more opportunity for PAYING shows under my belt, I'll have enough extra dollars to get myself some singing lessons. If I start studying under Sharon, then she'll want me to sing at the choir shows, and that's just more opportunity to get my own name well known in Nanaimo, right?
Life is going pretty darn good right now, I think. Singing onstage, despite my not being as good at it as acting, has always made me happier than anything, so I think I should make that a necessary thing. I love performance!
Wednesday, June 7th, Wellington Choir Year End Performance, feat. The Collective! Be there,
or be square! By donation.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
holy shit
someone just totally hacked my nex...like changed fucking everything around. I'm apparently thirty, have no pics, no friends and am from New Westminster.
How can people be that cruel? How can people just fuck things up for other people? I guess now I discovered who the fuck sent that message to my nex boy.
I'm crying so hard right now. This is just what I needed. Fuck.
How can people be that cruel? How can people just fuck things up for other people? I guess now I discovered who the fuck sent that message to my nex boy.
I'm crying so hard right now. This is just what I needed. Fuck.
pressure vent
ok...I need to go off for a bit. I'm warning you now so that if you don't need more depression and unhappy in your lives you can just go to the next blogs. No one has to read this, but I do have to get it off my chest.
I HATE life. I despise everything about adulthood. This game of, "oh well, look on the brightside, I now have my own house to party with" is long since over.
I miss the way things were when no matter how bad they got, the foundations of my world were still intact. I went through so much shit in my younger years, and learned to deal with it and get through it, because I knew that there would always be this core group of human beings who still wanted me around no matter how much they yelled at me for forgetting to feed my rabbit, no matter how many salt-shakers they threw at me in anger, no matter how many times someone accidentally dumped a pot of boiling water over my wrist. My world was alright because even though it often wasn't the way I wanted it, fundamentally, everything was ok. There was food in my cupboards, enough money to do some fun things, and one person who would never ever stop loving me, no matter what I did. (and the crap my siblings got into proved that fact to me without my ever having to soil my hands with mischeif)
In the months since her death, I've begun to realize what a treasure to was to have a mother who, despite no money in her wallet and a half a tank of gas in her truck would drive me to school when it was raining. That realization has come through months of walking home in the freezing cold, biking to work in the rain, getting muddy and uncomfortable and knowing that less than six months ago, I wouldn't have had to feel this way. She couldn't give me very much at all. Raising a teenage daughter on $800 dollars a month doesn't give you much leeway. But the things she could do, like drive me to work when she could, and buy me a coffee when I was half awake on the way to work or school, she did without any complaint, and happily.
I miss knowing that however much crap I got into, she would always love me. It didn't matter if I called the cops on my sister, or got pregnant at eighteen, or stole a truck and led the cops on a freeway chase ending in probation for months on end and the loss of my license (all of which my siblings have done at one time or another), she was always going to be there for us to help however she could, and do everything possible while she was at it. She was always there for us, when our life experiences gave us the need to talk to somebody for hours on end, sometimes all night, sometimes at the cost of long distance phone charges that were so debilitating, we had to cut off our phone for years after that.
The greatest joy she took from us was in our accomplishments, things that we did for ourselves. We never could do things for her like buy her a house, or give her a vacation, things that would give any parent pride and happiness from their offspring. The best we could offer her was, an acceptence to SFU from Sherayna and yet another standing ovation from me, and a truck with a LOUD stereo system entirely built from scratch from Quinn. And that was all she needed. Even when those accomplishments meant discomfort for her; getting up at four in the morning to take Sherayna to her new dorm room; dealing with the crush of people and the genuine but unwelcome affection from other parents at my shows; the sheer irritation of listening to Quinn test his speakers until he could hear them from the other side of the forest by our house; she never complained and all she needed was to watch how proud of ourselves we were to take joy from it.
Absolutely nothing I've gone through in the past six months, means anything to the enormity of losing this wonderful person whom I took for granted every day of my existence. I was so sure of her continued presence in everything I would ever experience, that it was always ok for me to yell at her, and throw everything she had given me in her face, for want of things she COULDN'T and never would be able to give to me. It was always fine to run off and spend a week with Ace, knowing she wanted me at home to help put up Christmas decorations. All she wanted from me was a day of my company. One single day to take the dogs up the mountain, and find ourselves a good Christmas tree and teach me how to use the chainsaw so that if I ever needed to cut wood for myself for a fire so I wouldn't have to live in a cold house, I would know how to operate it without cutting a limb off.
But one single day of my life was too much for me to give. and that's what hurts the most.
she gave the best of the most priceless of gifts as much as she possibly could, and all she ever asked was the same. She taught me to feel joy in the simple act of having coffee to drink in the morning. She taught me how much more wonderful it was to spend a day in the mountains with coffee and chocolate bars, walking the dogs, watching them enjoy themselves, than it was to spend a day at the mall pretending to be cool like all the other moneyed kids I longed to be like. She taught me how to give the most simple but powerful gift and to take joy in return from the smallest things. She showed me how much more a little puppy who trusts you and would take a star from the sky for you if it could is worth so much more than any kind of possession. And yes it takes time and effort and expense and work. But the love and trust in that dog's eyes and how it just comes when you call it, and joyfully, is worth so much more than anything else. She taught me that.
And I just gave it away.
And I'm still giving it away. Every single day, I move more and more stuff out of the home she was so proud of. I box away, and cover up more of the garage sale treasures she was so proud of. This home, this "party place" that I wouldn't have if it wasn't for her, is losing more and more of her influence. Nothing about it reflects my life with her here. I feel like by scrubbing the walls, I'm washing away her presence. I can barely remember what it was like to sit in the same room with her. When I look at my home now, the walls that she wanted in the first place hold no feeling of her. It's like after all this time, the mere act of moving her possessions out is helping remove her as well.
I look at the yard, and it's May and there are still no flowers growing. By now, you wouldn't have been able to see the grass for the colour. All the dogs are gone and their area swept clean. Even Moth is never around, sitting on some pile of books as if she owned the world. Instead she hides in the basement, and we only ever see her when she's hungry. Her truck is no longer parked in the front, comforting and familiar. Instead it's some huge ugly black beast who never belonged to her and will never remind me of her.
I don't want to move on, I don't want to get over it. I'm forgetting the sound of her voice, and I HATE it. It's like I'm losing her twice. I miss her more than anything. Any of my stupid dramas this past year just don't matter compared to how much I miss her. I don't know why I've been this emotional lately except maybe now that I'm realizing it's never going to ease up. Life is never going to get any easier, and that's just the human condition.
Anyways, that's my big long vent. If you read it, thank you. If you didn't, that's fine too. It's just--I needed to talk about her for a while. I did this yesterday too, with Quinn. I'll probably do it again tomorrow with whoever will listen.
I think maybe it's time for that therapy to begin.
I HATE life. I despise everything about adulthood. This game of, "oh well, look on the brightside, I now have my own house to party with" is long since over.
I miss the way things were when no matter how bad they got, the foundations of my world were still intact. I went through so much shit in my younger years, and learned to deal with it and get through it, because I knew that there would always be this core group of human beings who still wanted me around no matter how much they yelled at me for forgetting to feed my rabbit, no matter how many salt-shakers they threw at me in anger, no matter how many times someone accidentally dumped a pot of boiling water over my wrist. My world was alright because even though it often wasn't the way I wanted it, fundamentally, everything was ok. There was food in my cupboards, enough money to do some fun things, and one person who would never ever stop loving me, no matter what I did. (and the crap my siblings got into proved that fact to me without my ever having to soil my hands with mischeif)
In the months since her death, I've begun to realize what a treasure to was to have a mother who, despite no money in her wallet and a half a tank of gas in her truck would drive me to school when it was raining. That realization has come through months of walking home in the freezing cold, biking to work in the rain, getting muddy and uncomfortable and knowing that less than six months ago, I wouldn't have had to feel this way. She couldn't give me very much at all. Raising a teenage daughter on $800 dollars a month doesn't give you much leeway. But the things she could do, like drive me to work when she could, and buy me a coffee when I was half awake on the way to work or school, she did without any complaint, and happily.
I miss knowing that however much crap I got into, she would always love me. It didn't matter if I called the cops on my sister, or got pregnant at eighteen, or stole a truck and led the cops on a freeway chase ending in probation for months on end and the loss of my license (all of which my siblings have done at one time or another), she was always going to be there for us to help however she could, and do everything possible while she was at it. She was always there for us, when our life experiences gave us the need to talk to somebody for hours on end, sometimes all night, sometimes at the cost of long distance phone charges that were so debilitating, we had to cut off our phone for years after that.
The greatest joy she took from us was in our accomplishments, things that we did for ourselves. We never could do things for her like buy her a house, or give her a vacation, things that would give any parent pride and happiness from their offspring. The best we could offer her was, an acceptence to SFU from Sherayna and yet another standing ovation from me, and a truck with a LOUD stereo system entirely built from scratch from Quinn. And that was all she needed. Even when those accomplishments meant discomfort for her; getting up at four in the morning to take Sherayna to her new dorm room; dealing with the crush of people and the genuine but unwelcome affection from other parents at my shows; the sheer irritation of listening to Quinn test his speakers until he could hear them from the other side of the forest by our house; she never complained and all she needed was to watch how proud of ourselves we were to take joy from it.
Absolutely nothing I've gone through in the past six months, means anything to the enormity of losing this wonderful person whom I took for granted every day of my existence. I was so sure of her continued presence in everything I would ever experience, that it was always ok for me to yell at her, and throw everything she had given me in her face, for want of things she COULDN'T and never would be able to give to me. It was always fine to run off and spend a week with Ace, knowing she wanted me at home to help put up Christmas decorations. All she wanted from me was a day of my company. One single day to take the dogs up the mountain, and find ourselves a good Christmas tree and teach me how to use the chainsaw so that if I ever needed to cut wood for myself for a fire so I wouldn't have to live in a cold house, I would know how to operate it without cutting a limb off.
But one single day of my life was too much for me to give. and that's what hurts the most.
she gave the best of the most priceless of gifts as much as she possibly could, and all she ever asked was the same. She taught me to feel joy in the simple act of having coffee to drink in the morning. She taught me how much more wonderful it was to spend a day in the mountains with coffee and chocolate bars, walking the dogs, watching them enjoy themselves, than it was to spend a day at the mall pretending to be cool like all the other moneyed kids I longed to be like. She taught me how to give the most simple but powerful gift and to take joy in return from the smallest things. She showed me how much more a little puppy who trusts you and would take a star from the sky for you if it could is worth so much more than any kind of possession. And yes it takes time and effort and expense and work. But the love and trust in that dog's eyes and how it just comes when you call it, and joyfully, is worth so much more than anything else. She taught me that.
And I just gave it away.
And I'm still giving it away. Every single day, I move more and more stuff out of the home she was so proud of. I box away, and cover up more of the garage sale treasures she was so proud of. This home, this "party place" that I wouldn't have if it wasn't for her, is losing more and more of her influence. Nothing about it reflects my life with her here. I feel like by scrubbing the walls, I'm washing away her presence. I can barely remember what it was like to sit in the same room with her. When I look at my home now, the walls that she wanted in the first place hold no feeling of her. It's like after all this time, the mere act of moving her possessions out is helping remove her as well.
I look at the yard, and it's May and there are still no flowers growing. By now, you wouldn't have been able to see the grass for the colour. All the dogs are gone and their area swept clean. Even Moth is never around, sitting on some pile of books as if she owned the world. Instead she hides in the basement, and we only ever see her when she's hungry. Her truck is no longer parked in the front, comforting and familiar. Instead it's some huge ugly black beast who never belonged to her and will never remind me of her.
I don't want to move on, I don't want to get over it. I'm forgetting the sound of her voice, and I HATE it. It's like I'm losing her twice. I miss her more than anything. Any of my stupid dramas this past year just don't matter compared to how much I miss her. I don't know why I've been this emotional lately except maybe now that I'm realizing it's never going to ease up. Life is never going to get any easier, and that's just the human condition.
Anyways, that's my big long vent. If you read it, thank you. If you didn't, that's fine too. It's just--I needed to talk about her for a while. I did this yesterday too, with Quinn. I'll probably do it again tomorrow with whoever will listen.
I think maybe it's time for that therapy to begin.
Friday, May 26, 2006
no longer broke!
or the owner of Tika the Dog. yes, I finally did it. We finally gave her to the SPCA. I cried. A lot. I don't know why, she wasn't mine, I didn;t raise her, although somehow I managed ending up with the care of her. So not cool, it's just not cool.
Then we went to Timmies, and Quinn bought me a coffee. Without even complaining that it was a cappacino! :) That made me feel better. Hung out with Court's sister and a ridiculously cute child. (no young small human being has the right to look that cute, when they're all devil spawn)
Then we went to Crazy Eights, while I checked my account, and lo and behold for the first time since late March, TWENTY FUCKING DOLLARS CAME OUT! fuck yeah! I am no longer broke. I bought blank cd's, a cd wallet and a couple of wooden light switch framer thingies which me and Brianna are going to paint. Because I say so. w00t w00t!
Ace called me this morning, and told me I was Kenny from South Park. His reason for this being, he's been watching an unhealthy amount of that show lately, and he watched the commentary on the seasons he just bought, and someone asked the creators why they always killed Kenny, and the answer was: "because he's poor" So, according to Ace, God is the creators of South Park, and I am Kenny. *sigh* that boy needs less caffeine.
He also told me he missed feeling good about himself because compared to how shitty my life is, his is excellent. Does anybody else want to kick him a little?
jk, jk! I *heart* you and your evil evil ways, Ace. *punch*
Then we went to Timmies, and Quinn bought me a coffee. Without even complaining that it was a cappacino! :) That made me feel better. Hung out with Court's sister and a ridiculously cute child. (no young small human being has the right to look that cute, when they're all devil spawn)
Then we went to Crazy Eights, while I checked my account, and lo and behold for the first time since late March, TWENTY FUCKING DOLLARS CAME OUT! fuck yeah! I am no longer broke. I bought blank cd's, a cd wallet and a couple of wooden light switch framer thingies which me and Brianna are going to paint. Because I say so. w00t w00t!
Ace called me this morning, and told me I was Kenny from South Park. His reason for this being, he's been watching an unhealthy amount of that show lately, and he watched the commentary on the seasons he just bought, and someone asked the creators why they always killed Kenny, and the answer was: "because he's poor" So, according to Ace, God is the creators of South Park, and I am Kenny. *sigh* that boy needs less caffeine.
He also told me he missed feeling good about himself because compared to how shitty my life is, his is excellent. Does anybody else want to kick him a little?
jk, jk! I *heart* you and your evil evil ways, Ace. *punch*
Thursday, May 25, 2006
can't disappoint Barb
Two Names You Go By:
1. Alleah
2. Pinto
Two Parts of Your Heritage:
1. Russian
2. Iroquois
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. gray sweater
2. pink t-shirt
Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. fun/laughter
2. good conversation/sex
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Dancing
2. dogs
Two Things You Want Really Badly At The Moment:
1. happiness (current, or lasting)
2. money
Two pets you had/have:
1. Ahrodie the dog
2. Sensei the dog
Two people who will fill this out:
1. Amber
2. Donna
Two things you did last night:
1. Slept
2. smoked a cigarette
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Mozzarella's
2. The Dinghy Dock Pub
Two People that live in your house:
1. my bro
2. his dog
Two things you ate today:
1. cereal
2. um...a freezie?
Two people you Last Talked To:
1. Geoff
2. Monkey
Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. sleeping
2. smoking a cigarette
(yes my life really is that boring lately.)
Two things you should be doin right now:
1. not thinking about it
2. not feeling bad about it
And now, because I'm bored...
(in case you couldn't tell from the bold, that was meant to be read in a wrestling announcer voice)
9 lasts.
last place you were: Gator's house
last cigarette: a few minutes ago
last beverage: Water
last kiss: er...Dean :(
last movie seen: um...something with Sean...I was excited about it..I think...I can't remember, I hate movie theatres.
last phone call: Geoff
last cd played: My amazingly awesome Not-Mellow CD, with Journey, and Bright Eyes on it.
last bubble bath: yesterday, before work. it was lovely!
last time you cried: this morning. :(
8 have you evers. (apparently there are only 7... weird)
-have you ever dated someone twice: :( yes
-have you ever been cheated on: no :(
-have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: am I a terrible person because I don't regret the actual kissing? :(
(how come EVERY QUESTION makes me unhappy?)
-have you ever fallen in love: absolutely
-have you ever made out in the woods: haha, yep!
-have you ever been depressed: I'm depressed now.
-have you ever been drunk and thrown up: many many times
8 states you've been to:
1. Washington
2. Oregon
3. California
4. Arizona
5. Virginia
6. D.C. (yes, it's a state, fuckers)
7. Maryland
8. Alaska
6 things you've done today.
1. Sang Seasons of Love
2. sang Frobisher Bay
3. sang Somebody to Love
4. learned part of Dream a Little Dream of Me.
5. threw myself on Laura's couch and wailed because Dream a Little Dream of Me was hard in a terrible discordant jazzy kind of way. :(
6. took some Tylenol
5 favorite things.
1. Laughter
2. Friends
3. Partying
4. Dogs
5. being on stage
4 people you can tell pretty much anything to.(in no particular order)
1. Brianna
2. Laura
3. Ace
4. Geoff
3 favorite colors.
1. Green
2. Pink
3. Black
2 things you want to do before you die.
1. walk on the moon
2. raise over twenty various animals.
1. I regret: only one??? only one? fine. I regret having regrets.
1. Alleah
2. Pinto
Two Parts of Your Heritage:
1. Russian
2. Iroquois
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. gray sweater
2. pink t-shirt
Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. fun/laughter
2. good conversation/sex
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Dancing
2. dogs
Two Things You Want Really Badly At The Moment:
1. happiness (current, or lasting)
2. money
Two pets you had/have:
1. Ahrodie the dog
2. Sensei the dog
Two people who will fill this out:
1. Amber
2. Donna
Two things you did last night:
1. Slept
2. smoked a cigarette
Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Mozzarella's
2. The Dinghy Dock Pub
Two People that live in your house:
1. my bro
2. his dog
Two things you ate today:
1. cereal
2. um...a freezie?
Two people you Last Talked To:
1. Geoff
2. Monkey
Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. sleeping
2. smoking a cigarette
(yes my life really is that boring lately.)
Two things you should be doin right now:
1. not thinking about it
2. not feeling bad about it
And now, because I'm bored...
(in case you couldn't tell from the bold, that was meant to be read in a wrestling announcer voice)
9 lasts.
last place you were: Gator's house
last cigarette: a few minutes ago
last beverage: Water
last kiss: er...Dean :(
last movie seen: um...something with Sean...I was excited about it..I think...I can't remember, I hate movie theatres.
last phone call: Geoff
last cd played: My amazingly awesome Not-Mellow CD, with Journey, and Bright Eyes on it.
last bubble bath: yesterday, before work. it was lovely!
last time you cried: this morning. :(
8 have you evers. (apparently there are only 7... weird)
-have you ever dated someone twice: :( yes
-have you ever been cheated on: no :(
-have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: am I a terrible person because I don't regret the actual kissing? :(
(how come EVERY QUESTION makes me unhappy?)
-have you ever fallen in love: absolutely
-have you ever made out in the woods: haha, yep!
-have you ever been depressed: I'm depressed now.
-have you ever been drunk and thrown up: many many times
8 states you've been to:
1. Washington
2. Oregon
3. California
4. Arizona
5. Virginia
6. D.C. (yes, it's a state, fuckers)
7. Maryland
8. Alaska
6 things you've done today.
1. Sang Seasons of Love
2. sang Frobisher Bay
3. sang Somebody to Love
4. learned part of Dream a Little Dream of Me.
5. threw myself on Laura's couch and wailed because Dream a Little Dream of Me was hard in a terrible discordant jazzy kind of way. :(
6. took some Tylenol
5 favorite things.
1. Laughter
2. Friends
3. Partying
4. Dogs
5. being on stage
4 people you can tell pretty much anything to.(in no particular order)
1. Brianna
2. Laura
3. Ace
4. Geoff
3 favorite colors.
1. Green
2. Pink
3. Black
2 things you want to do before you die.
1. walk on the moon
2. raise over twenty various animals.
1. I regret: only one??? only one? fine. I regret having regrets.
marginally better mood today
but not by much. still a little sick, but very medicated, so not too bad. And today I spent sleeping, going to choir, rocking socks off, and then practicing Somebody to Love and learning Dream a Little Dream of Me with Original Collective. FUCK jazz. fuck it. right up the fuck hole. It seriously took us two and a half hours to learn a verse and a half of SSATB jazz harmony. FUCK YOU, jazz. I blame Brianna. she wanted to learn it for her boyee, and then tried to ruin the surprise by texting him about it. oh jeez.
someone show me how to make voodoo dolls. so I can killate my manager. Kill him so dead.
someone show me how to make voodoo dolls. so I can killate my manager. Kill him so dead.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
GREG MY ASSISTANT MANAGER IS THE BIGGEST ASS EVER
I will kill him and eat his soul.
He was driving everybody so crazy today, that one of my favorite people quit on the spot. He was OBSESSED with getting three large salads ready for the dinner rush, and EVERY SINGLE PERSON THERE was like, "no we don't need anymore" finally everyone who had been argueing with him was gone; Lynn had quit and stormed out, Cindy was out having a smoke cause he wouldn't stop bitchign at her, and Lisa was on her break/ talking to Cindy. So what does he do? Take me away from the job I was right in the middle of, and FORCES me to make the salads, so I do, and then Lisa comes back in, and yells at me!!! RAWR! I was SO pissed.
So she's finally liek whatever, Greg do what you want, so I'm in the middle of making coleslaw, and Greg gets his lazy ass called front from the managment booth where he's sitting with his thumb up his ass bitching at Lisa so he can help Cindy who's on drive thru, front counter, AND kitchen. Now ten mintues before this he yelled at me for hekping her, and told me to get back to the salad. Now, as SOON, as he got up to drive thru, he fucked up the order a lot, and had two unpaid for orders at the same time (how the FUCK you do that in drive thru, I'll never know), so he made me take their money (whilst explaining every little detail to me as if I have the brain of a maggot). Then because the service time was above five minutes, Lisa came in and yelled at me, because it looked like it was my fault! And then she was like, "what;s this coleslaw stuff doing out?" and cleaned up everythign I was IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING. I explained, and she just walked away, totally pissed at me. At ME!!!!
So the customers are pissed because they've been sitting in their car for over ten minutes waiting for a FUCKING burger, I'm trying to figure out simultaneous cash, and debit transactions, while Greg rattles on and on, explaining shit I DON';T NEED EXPLAINED. He even showed me how to open the FUCKING BAG. They eventually havcing to come to the counter because not only is Greg such a douche he can't take an order in under ten fucking minutes, he also forgot to put in items of their order! So I had to take their additional order, and THEY got pissed at me, and stormed off!
I FINALLY get back to my coleslaw (which I've been yelled at for, like three times by now), and have to take ALL the crap out again, and start ALL OVER AGAIN. So then I'm finishing up the coleslaw salads, and what does Greg do? COMES OVER AND YELLS AT ME FOR NOT HELPING CINDY IN THE FIRST PLACE
.kjxdfbvl;SKZbv/LsdkhfA/,ams.DNfv.KJW, MSD/VLWJREM VD/,bmd cv/ BJFKJSZGALHGBA;SLJGBal;sdkjg;agjubvha;sbvuhz;dskjrghpSAIuefbakwjsfgbval;kjsr
g;JWGFKJHDXF;JKSFHG;ZSFRGJH;SD RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING CUNT LICKING COCK SUCKING ASS BASTARD PENIS CLOWNING FUCKING ASS MASTER OF STUPID ANGRY SHIT FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!~!!!!
and it is NOT over...
*sigh* so finally at two thirty, he's like, "I'm sending Alleah home early. there's nothing to do." Lisa, meanwhile is in the middle of training me on something, and she's like, all new people have to stay their full shift so they can learn everything. And he's like there's no point, there' nothing to train her on. And Lisa's like I'm in the MIDDLE of training her on soemthing, and he';s like, "well, i ahve to get my labour costs down" so, as you can see I DON'T get payed for the next half hour of AGGRAVATION which I am going to tell you about now.
So then they begin arguing about whether or not I can/should/will count my own till, and finally Cindy (god bless her smart ass mouth; it'll get her fired, but I love her for it) yells over both of them, "How about you ask her; she's RIGHT HERE" So Greg asks me, and I of course got trained in cashing out on Monday with Steve, the manager. So I say yes.
So I go to count my own til, and just before I go back their, lisa's like ask Greg if he should do it, or you should. So I ask. OF FUCKING COURSE he says, you should do it. SO I go back there and start doing it. Apparently, Lisa bitched at him for it, and slammed the rule book at him; LITERALLY slammed it into his chest.
So he goes back there, and I'm already done, but then he starts asking me all these questions, like, "what's this? why'd you do it that way? how much change do you have? how much is there in bills? are you sure? there'e nine twenties? there's nine? THERE'S NINE????????" panicing the fuck out of me, cause I'm just WTF did I do wrong? So finally, he interrupts one time more than I can take, and I';m like, "GREG...please, I need to count this all again, and extra numbers floating around in my brain don't help" so he fucks off in a snit, and then I have a problem: I don't know which number on the cashier receipt I'm suppsed to check the cash against...so I ask Greg.
...
BIG MISTAKE
He goes fucking off, making me recheck all my numbers, asking me, are you sure, are you sure, OVER AND FUCKING OVER again. So I'm going fucking craszy, thinking, if he's this worried oiver my til, wtf did I do WRONG? Then he shows me which number and my amount is exactly one hundred dollars over what I'm supposed to have. I'm PANICING at this point, thinkig if I could just shoot him in the face, I could figure this all out, and it would be fine. And then he starts being like, what are you talking about? You;re ninety cents over. Not a hundred dollars, and I;m like WHAT THE FUCK??? And he's like, I just did your numbers again, and at this point I'm surprised I didn't actually implode, and he shows me the nu mber, it's nintey cents off. I'm like, that isn't right, and in any case, I;m going ith MY numbers. I am PISSED right off by now. I finally figure out, that because I'm supposed to leave a $100 float for the next cashier, I added that onto my total, and that was what was making it a hundred dollars over. He starts explaing (stuttering, and talking with his hands, and making no sense whatsoever), and it takes him ten full minutes to explain...: that the number on the register is PROFITS ONLY.
HOW
THE
FUCK
DOES
IT
TAKE
TEN
MINUTES
TO
SAY
PROFITS. ONLY.
At that point, I put the money in a bag, shoved in his face, and left wihtout saying a word to anybody. Oh yeah, and did I mention, that for HALF of that, the owner was standing there alternately watching me panic, and listening to Greg whine about how nobody listened to him, and they were all insubordinate, and how he had a mutiny on his hands.
Seriously shoot me now.
He was driving everybody so crazy today, that one of my favorite people quit on the spot. He was OBSESSED with getting three large salads ready for the dinner rush, and EVERY SINGLE PERSON THERE was like, "no we don't need anymore" finally everyone who had been argueing with him was gone; Lynn had quit and stormed out, Cindy was out having a smoke cause he wouldn't stop bitchign at her, and Lisa was on her break/ talking to Cindy. So what does he do? Take me away from the job I was right in the middle of, and FORCES me to make the salads, so I do, and then Lisa comes back in, and yells at me!!! RAWR! I was SO pissed.
So she's finally liek whatever, Greg do what you want, so I'm in the middle of making coleslaw, and Greg gets his lazy ass called front from the managment booth where he's sitting with his thumb up his ass bitching at Lisa so he can help Cindy who's on drive thru, front counter, AND kitchen. Now ten mintues before this he yelled at me for hekping her, and told me to get back to the salad. Now, as SOON, as he got up to drive thru, he fucked up the order a lot, and had two unpaid for orders at the same time (how the FUCK you do that in drive thru, I'll never know), so he made me take their money (whilst explaining every little detail to me as if I have the brain of a maggot). Then because the service time was above five minutes, Lisa came in and yelled at me, because it looked like it was my fault! And then she was like, "what;s this coleslaw stuff doing out?" and cleaned up everythign I was IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING. I explained, and she just walked away, totally pissed at me. At ME!!!!
So the customers are pissed because they've been sitting in their car for over ten minutes waiting for a FUCKING burger, I'm trying to figure out simultaneous cash, and debit transactions, while Greg rattles on and on, explaining shit I DON';T NEED EXPLAINED. He even showed me how to open the FUCKING BAG. They eventually havcing to come to the counter because not only is Greg such a douche he can't take an order in under ten fucking minutes, he also forgot to put in items of their order! So I had to take their additional order, and THEY got pissed at me, and stormed off!
I FINALLY get back to my coleslaw (which I've been yelled at for, like three times by now), and have to take ALL the crap out again, and start ALL OVER AGAIN. So then I'm finishing up the coleslaw salads, and what does Greg do? COMES OVER AND YELLS AT ME FOR NOT HELPING CINDY IN THE FIRST PLACE
.kjxdfbvl;SKZbv/LsdkhfA/,ams.DNfv.KJW, MSD/VLWJREM VD/,bmd cv/ BJFKJSZGALHGBA;SLJGBal;sdkjg;agjubvha;sbvuhz;dskjrghpSAIuefbakwjsfgbval;kjsr
g;JWGFKJHDXF;JKSFHG;ZSFRGJH;SD RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING CUNT LICKING COCK SUCKING ASS BASTARD PENIS CLOWNING FUCKING ASS MASTER OF STUPID ANGRY SHIT FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!~!!!!
and it is NOT over...
*sigh* so finally at two thirty, he's like, "I'm sending Alleah home early. there's nothing to do." Lisa, meanwhile is in the middle of training me on something, and she's like, all new people have to stay their full shift so they can learn everything. And he's like there's no point, there' nothing to train her on. And Lisa's like I'm in the MIDDLE of training her on soemthing, and he';s like, "well, i ahve to get my labour costs down" so, as you can see I DON'T get payed for the next half hour of AGGRAVATION which I am going to tell you about now.
So then they begin arguing about whether or not I can/should/will count my own till, and finally Cindy (god bless her smart ass mouth; it'll get her fired, but I love her for it) yells over both of them, "How about you ask her; she's RIGHT HERE" So Greg asks me, and I of course got trained in cashing out on Monday with Steve, the manager. So I say yes.
So I go to count my own til, and just before I go back their, lisa's like ask Greg if he should do it, or you should. So I ask. OF FUCKING COURSE he says, you should do it. SO I go back there and start doing it. Apparently, Lisa bitched at him for it, and slammed the rule book at him; LITERALLY slammed it into his chest.
So he goes back there, and I'm already done, but then he starts asking me all these questions, like, "what's this? why'd you do it that way? how much change do you have? how much is there in bills? are you sure? there'e nine twenties? there's nine? THERE'S NINE????????" panicing the fuck out of me, cause I'm just WTF did I do wrong? So finally, he interrupts one time more than I can take, and I';m like, "GREG...please, I need to count this all again, and extra numbers floating around in my brain don't help" so he fucks off in a snit, and then I have a problem: I don't know which number on the cashier receipt I'm suppsed to check the cash against...so I ask Greg.
...
BIG MISTAKE
He goes fucking off, making me recheck all my numbers, asking me, are you sure, are you sure, OVER AND FUCKING OVER again. So I'm going fucking craszy, thinking, if he's this worried oiver my til, wtf did I do WRONG? Then he shows me which number and my amount is exactly one hundred dollars over what I'm supposed to have. I'm PANICING at this point, thinkig if I could just shoot him in the face, I could figure this all out, and it would be fine. And then he starts being like, what are you talking about? You;re ninety cents over. Not a hundred dollars, and I;m like WHAT THE FUCK??? And he's like, I just did your numbers again, and at this point I'm surprised I didn't actually implode, and he shows me the nu mber, it's nintey cents off. I'm like, that isn't right, and in any case, I;m going ith MY numbers. I am PISSED right off by now. I finally figure out, that because I'm supposed to leave a $100 float for the next cashier, I added that onto my total, and that was what was making it a hundred dollars over. He starts explaing (stuttering, and talking with his hands, and making no sense whatsoever), and it takes him ten full minutes to explain...: that the number on the register is PROFITS ONLY.
HOW
THE
FUCK
DOES
IT
TAKE
TEN
MINUTES
TO
SAY
PROFITS. ONLY.
At that point, I put the money in a bag, shoved in his face, and left wihtout saying a word to anybody. Oh yeah, and did I mention, that for HALF of that, the owner was standing there alternately watching me panic, and listening to Greg whine about how nobody listened to him, and they were all insubordinate, and how he had a mutiny on his hands.
Seriously shoot me now.
Monday, May 22, 2006
meaty goodness
I cooked dinner today! go me! And by dinner I mean real live dinner! Steak and rice. There were no veggies in the freezer, but I was planning on cooking some o' those, as well. But there wasn't. So...streak. And rice. w00t.
that is all. :D
that is all. :D
Sunday, May 21, 2006
party pics!
me and my bitches!!!
bowlers bring out Barb's predatory side.
look who's getting some action!!!
what a cute pouty face. Spencer!
who needs a microphone when you have a bottle'o'booze?
I said NO to the Krispy Cremes, boy!
yet another pretty party Pinto!
Saturday, May 20, 2006
good bye
our friendship is over. you betrayed my trust and friendship beyond anything I've ever experienced before.
don't ever talk to me again.
don't ever talk to me again.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
can of geeks
I am a geek. I shall be canned in a cannery, and sold as a non-perishable fun item on a grocery store shelf.
I had my first shift at A&W, and my inner retard became apparent. The first half was mostly bookwork. bah. boring. Then I got to go in the back, and help everyone else. Basically, I looked at a til, tried to figure out what the CRAZY abbreviations meant, and put the shiz into the bag, or onto the tray. I put stuff into a bag, when it was for there, twice, and put stuff on a tray when it was to go once. I forgot to put napkins, and straws in the bags like five times, and got in everybody's way the whole shift. I cleaned the DIRTIEST boys bathroom I've ever seen in my life, while this girl told me and the other new girl stories about finding a crackhead in there bleeding all over once. All I could think for the rest of the day was CRACK HEAD. it was disturbing.
Fun people, one cute boy, who seemed kind of awkward and tongue-tied, however, he was amusing. The fellow new girl is pretty awesome. She gave me hope, because today was her second shift, and she wasn't nearly as reatrded as I was, so there's hope for me for Monday.
Totally awkward, they didn't have a uniform for me, so I had to work the whole shift in my street clothes: jeans, sandals, and a black button up over a tube top! The customers were looking at me like I was an alien! omg
The apex of my stupid however came when I twirled a bag of straws after filling the dispenser, and discovered there was a hole in the bag--when STRAWS FLEW EVERYWHERE!!!!! The girl who was training me, just said nothing. It was worse than anything she could have possibly said at that point. wow. I am a spaz.
I ask you all, just how undeveloped must a person's brain be to fuck up their first shift at A&FUCKINGW??? However, the manager seemed to like me. He was nice to me all day. Must have been the tube top. ;D I'm a loser.
So I've got shifts all next week, and I managed to get Greg (the manager) to let me have tomorrow night off, so I will be PARTYING DOWN, w00t! Party on, Garth. (party on Wayne!) I get trained on til next week starting Monday, and then by the end of the week I get to be on til by myself! woo-hoo! I'm ridiculously excited about the drive thru. It's the funner of the three tils, I think.
Everybody has to come visit me. I demand it. Fuck what the stupid training book said. Oh and Ace, tell Michelle that apparently Amanda used to work there. i saw her during my shift today, and she was happy to see I was working at that A&W.
Anyways, enough boring Alleah's-excited-about-her-new-dumbass-job post. I'm going on nex. To prove my loser-dom. woo-freakin-hoo, baby!
I had my first shift at A&W, and my inner retard became apparent. The first half was mostly bookwork. bah. boring. Then I got to go in the back, and help everyone else. Basically, I looked at a til, tried to figure out what the CRAZY abbreviations meant, and put the shiz into the bag, or onto the tray. I put stuff into a bag, when it was for there, twice, and put stuff on a tray when it was to go once. I forgot to put napkins, and straws in the bags like five times, and got in everybody's way the whole shift. I cleaned the DIRTIEST boys bathroom I've ever seen in my life, while this girl told me and the other new girl stories about finding a crackhead in there bleeding all over once. All I could think for the rest of the day was CRACK HEAD. it was disturbing.
Fun people, one cute boy, who seemed kind of awkward and tongue-tied, however, he was amusing. The fellow new girl is pretty awesome. She gave me hope, because today was her second shift, and she wasn't nearly as reatrded as I was, so there's hope for me for Monday.
Totally awkward, they didn't have a uniform for me, so I had to work the whole shift in my street clothes: jeans, sandals, and a black button up over a tube top! The customers were looking at me like I was an alien! omg
The apex of my stupid however came when I twirled a bag of straws after filling the dispenser, and discovered there was a hole in the bag--when STRAWS FLEW EVERYWHERE!!!!! The girl who was training me, just said nothing. It was worse than anything she could have possibly said at that point. wow. I am a spaz.
I ask you all, just how undeveloped must a person's brain be to fuck up their first shift at A&FUCKINGW??? However, the manager seemed to like me. He was nice to me all day. Must have been the tube top. ;D I'm a loser.
So I've got shifts all next week, and I managed to get Greg (the manager) to let me have tomorrow night off, so I will be PARTYING DOWN, w00t! Party on, Garth. (party on Wayne!) I get trained on til next week starting Monday, and then by the end of the week I get to be on til by myself! woo-hoo! I'm ridiculously excited about the drive thru. It's the funner of the three tils, I think.
Everybody has to come visit me. I demand it. Fuck what the stupid training book said. Oh and Ace, tell Michelle that apparently Amanda used to work there. i saw her during my shift today, and she was happy to see I was working at that A&W.
Anyways, enough boring Alleah's-excited-about-her-new-dumbass-job post. I'm going on nex. To prove my loser-dom. woo-freakin-hoo, baby!
ice cream, and beach sunsets
my shirt is on backwards, and I just don't care. take that.
So yesterday, I was on msn, with Chris, and he somehow interpreted directions to my house (for the party) as "come over now" and showed up at my house around three thirty. He had just bought a new bong, and was obsessed with breaking it in, so we left my place, and headed up to Lantzville to find people to hang out with, so Chris could smoke his bong.
We got to his place, (which is GORGEOUS, btw! pool, deck, hot tub, nice yard; I say next party is at his place!) and called Olives, who decided to meet us at a school in Lantzville. We were on msn with a bunch of peeps, like Glenn, and Brianna, and Chris' ex, Leah. We tried getting them to come with us, but only Leah decided to come. It was funny, when she got there, and we hung out, I kept making jokes that Chris was building an army of ex-girlfriends. We walked by Mel's house, and I wanted to invite her to be part of the army. It would have been funny!
Later, after a Brown Cow shared between the three of us, and some me putting a mousie down my shirt, and then letting it poop on Chris, we headed off to the park, and met Olives. We made our way to the log pit, and smoked some pot. It took me no time at all to get stoned. I had two hits, and was giggly all ready! tsk. lol! (btw, I have a mosquito bite, and I have a feeling it was from the foresty log pit; unimpressed!)
We walked to the Lantzville Store, where Chris bought us candies, and ice cream. Then we walked to a beach and ate the ice cream. That was very yummy ice cream. It was so pretty there, but there were these kayakers...annoying kayakers. ick. and annoying old people talking to the annoying kayakers. ick. The sun started setting and it was so pretty. Like totally gorgeous. I had wanted to go skinny-dipping, but by that time, I probably would drowned, stoned and filled with ice cream as I was.
Instead, we walked back to the log pit, where we smoked more weed. After that, Olives took Leah home, and then we returned to Chris' to play some Super Smash Bros! Awesome!! I guess I was zoning out in the car, cause Chris and Olives kept making fun of me. *shrug* We played Super Smash Bros until about tenthirty. Chris and Olives kept beating me soooo bad except for ONE time, when I prevailed. W00T!!!! However, it was only once. Shiz. Nitch.
After that, Olives drove me the whole way home, which was sooooo nice of him! I put a movie on, and ended up falling asleep REALLY uncomfortably on the couch. I woke up at some point in the night, and drank like a quarter of a two litre of ice tea. I was SO THIRSTY. Quinn woke me up to bitch at me for drinking his ice tea. (big surprise)
Lately it seems like all Quinn ever does is bitch at me. Twenty-four seven. It is getting EXEPTIONALLY irritating. He thinks that because he payed rent last month, it makes the house ALL HIS. Completely forgetting the fact that for the previous three months he's lived here, I payed all the rent every single month, AND gave him a two thousand dollar loan. Mother fucker. Yes, he's REALLY getting on my nerves.
Last night I had a dream that my sister Sherayna got married--to another woman. that is all.
So yesterday, I was on msn, with Chris, and he somehow interpreted directions to my house (for the party) as "come over now" and showed up at my house around three thirty. He had just bought a new bong, and was obsessed with breaking it in, so we left my place, and headed up to Lantzville to find people to hang out with, so Chris could smoke his bong.
We got to his place, (which is GORGEOUS, btw! pool, deck, hot tub, nice yard; I say next party is at his place!) and called Olives, who decided to meet us at a school in Lantzville. We were on msn with a bunch of peeps, like Glenn, and Brianna, and Chris' ex, Leah. We tried getting them to come with us, but only Leah decided to come. It was funny, when she got there, and we hung out, I kept making jokes that Chris was building an army of ex-girlfriends. We walked by Mel's house, and I wanted to invite her to be part of the army. It would have been funny!
Later, after a Brown Cow shared between the three of us, and some me putting a mousie down my shirt, and then letting it poop on Chris, we headed off to the park, and met Olives. We made our way to the log pit, and smoked some pot. It took me no time at all to get stoned. I had two hits, and was giggly all ready! tsk. lol! (btw, I have a mosquito bite, and I have a feeling it was from the foresty log pit; unimpressed!)
We walked to the Lantzville Store, where Chris bought us candies, and ice cream. Then we walked to a beach and ate the ice cream. That was very yummy ice cream. It was so pretty there, but there were these kayakers...annoying kayakers. ick. and annoying old people talking to the annoying kayakers. ick. The sun started setting and it was so pretty. Like totally gorgeous. I had wanted to go skinny-dipping, but by that time, I probably would drowned, stoned and filled with ice cream as I was.
Instead, we walked back to the log pit, where we smoked more weed. After that, Olives took Leah home, and then we returned to Chris' to play some Super Smash Bros! Awesome!! I guess I was zoning out in the car, cause Chris and Olives kept making fun of me. *shrug* We played Super Smash Bros until about tenthirty. Chris and Olives kept beating me soooo bad except for ONE time, when I prevailed. W00T!!!! However, it was only once. Shiz. Nitch.
After that, Olives drove me the whole way home, which was sooooo nice of him! I put a movie on, and ended up falling asleep REALLY uncomfortably on the couch. I woke up at some point in the night, and drank like a quarter of a two litre of ice tea. I was SO THIRSTY. Quinn woke me up to bitch at me for drinking his ice tea. (big surprise)
Lately it seems like all Quinn ever does is bitch at me. Twenty-four seven. It is getting EXEPTIONALLY irritating. He thinks that because he payed rent last month, it makes the house ALL HIS. Completely forgetting the fact that for the previous three months he's lived here, I payed all the rent every single month, AND gave him a two thousand dollar loan. Mother fucker. Yes, he's REALLY getting on my nerves.
Last night I had a dream that my sister Sherayna got married--to another woman. that is all.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
sometimes I feel like a walking vagina
yeah, that's right. I am merely a sexual organ. Sometimes it bugs me, sometimes it doesn't, but it feels like all guys fall in love with me because of sex. I sometimes feel as if, the only reason guys I date miss me is because of the sex, and the only reason they occasionally return is for the sex. I wish I knew what kind of girl a guy would stay with because of the person. I wish I'd spent more time developing my person skills, instead of my sex skills.
ick. me = gross
ick. me = gross
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
I ran over a permanent marker because I'm sexy and do what I want
Above title shall be explained at the bottom of this post. So I had my interview at A&W today, and got hired on the spot. W00T sounds fine to me. I start tomorrow at an unspecified time, *gulp*. not much else to say, except my naked suntanning this morning left me unevenly cooked. Lets say if I was a steak, most of me would be welldone, but my stomach is medium rare. ick!
So below is a fun game. I think when I'm bored and need a post title--or maybe even in my TEMPLATE! hahahahaha!--I shall write one of those. Good times.
Pick the month you were born in:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I did the macarena with
April--I played with
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I sang to
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I smoked
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a paperclip
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a gangster
6-------the pizza delivery guy
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friend's boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------an ipod
12-------a banana
13-------Chuck Norris
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19-------myself
20-------a football player
21-------a ninja
22-------a fireman
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a baseball bat
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------my science teacher
29-------a permanent marker
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White------because I was high.
Black-------because that's how I roll.
Pink--------because I'm NOT homosexual.
Red---------because the voices told me to.
Blue--------because I'm sexy and do what I want.
Green------because I hate myself.
Purple------because I'm cool.
Gray--------because I was drunk.
Yellow------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange----because I hate my family.
Other-------because that's how I roll.
none------because I can't control myself.
So below is a fun game. I think when I'm bored and need a post title--or maybe even in my TEMPLATE! hahahahaha!--I shall write one of those. Good times.
Pick the month you were born in:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I did the macarena with
April--I played with
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I sang to
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I smoked
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a paperclip
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a gangster
6-------the pizza delivery guy
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friend's boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------an ipod
12-------a banana
13-------Chuck Norris
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19-------myself
20-------a football player
21-------a ninja
22-------a fireman
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a baseball bat
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------my science teacher
29-------a permanent marker
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White------because I was high.
Black-------because that's how I roll.
Pink--------because I'm NOT homosexual.
Red---------because the voices told me to.
Blue--------because I'm sexy and do what I want.
Green------because I hate myself.
Purple------because I'm cool.
Gray--------because I was drunk.
Yellow------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange----because I hate my family.
Other-------because that's how I roll.
none------because I can't control myself.
sunbathing half naked/ Ace's 10 Honest Statements
so the girls night was super awesome! Meghan, Lisa, Laura McNaught, Mel, Barbara, Amber and Michelle all came, and we had a sweet night. Laura made martinis, and we played I Never, and then we gave ourselves MAC makeovers. (sorry, Mel!) Mel and I slept i9n my bed and talked about aliens until five in the morning! lol
--but if there WERE a race of sentient rogue dinosaur aliens, how would we make contact???
--what was I saying about brontasauri?
The next morning, Amber woke me up at seven AM (urg) to help her catch her bus. Everyone laughed when I walked into the living room, because apparently, I looked tousled, and grumpy. Michelle gave Amber a ride to the bus, and I came with, earning a breakfast sandwich from Brianna's favorite workplace. :) Then everybody left, except for Michelle, who chilled at my place until she had to leave at eleven for work. Courtney discovered her sketchbook, and found a drawing she loved which Michelle gave to her. w00t.
Later, after all had gone home, Courtney and I went to SouthGate Plaza, so she could buy some shiz, and I could look for work. Got an interview today at four, woo-hoo! go me. dropped off resumes at a bunch of places.
At one, I walked home, and gave Ace a call, and we decided to hang out. I made my way to his place, and we walked to Timmies, where he bought me an Ice Cap! awesome! I'd been craving one, h-core. While at Timmies, he bugged me to know who he was on my honest statements, so instead of telling him, I made him write one of his own. He of course had neither the attention span, nor room on the bus schedule to write fifteen, so he only wrote ten.
Here are Ace's Honest Statements:
1) I've never enjoyed being someone's bitch so much. I hope you're right about me.
2) I'll never ever ever stop loving you with all my being.
3) I feel sorry for you, but only because I've been there. You're still pathetic.
4) You are the epitome of striking. It hurts everytime I see you, but I know I'll never be with you. I'm always smiling. (non sequitor much, Ace? jeex)
5)I don't hate you, it's just awkward.
6) You are so awesome, and I know you'll go far. You will forever be a huge part of me and I'll be there for you whenever you need it.
7)Damn you are funny. I've never been more sorry.
8) You truly are amazing. I think you saved me from myself. Thank you, I am forever indebted to you. Why are you so good to me?
9) I wish you didn't drink.
10) You are the biggest influence on me ever. I will be you friend and always comb my hair like yours forever. Thank you.
So, most of the people who wrote honest statements won't get at least half of those. I know them all of course, because I am magnificent. hahahar. The one he wrote for me has a lot of scribble-outs on it, and that bugs me. He said the only honest thing he could say about me was that I'd go far. That bugged me too.
Anyways, we walked around downtown a bit, went to see Michelle at the Sake House. That was super. She offered me lunch, but for some reason I was feeling anorexic, and liked it. Odd. Today I am hella hungry, though, so I guess I'm making up for it. I just gorged myself on Jello, and now feel happy.
So Ace and I went to A&B Sound so he could buy a CD (or two :P) and waited for Michelle to finish her shift. Finally when she was done, we started heading to her van, and along the way we bumped into Alex! w00t and a half! After that, Michelle gave me a ride home, and I forced Ace to see my new rearranged living room.
Last night I fell asleep around seven PM, or some shiz like that. It was stupid. But I slept excellently, and awoke this morning around seven fifteen feeling chipper, and joyous, so I guess it did it's job.
I've been sunbathing naked on my porch all morning, and let me tell you, it is so fucking hot out today. It's May, and I am perfectly happy in my freezing ass den wearing naught but panties and a shirt done up with one button. :P put that in your pipe and smoke it!
So, in other news, party here this Friday night! Bring booze, and good times shall ensue!
--but if there WERE a race of sentient rogue dinosaur aliens, how would we make contact???
--what was I saying about brontasauri?
The next morning, Amber woke me up at seven AM (urg) to help her catch her bus. Everyone laughed when I walked into the living room, because apparently, I looked tousled, and grumpy. Michelle gave Amber a ride to the bus, and I came with, earning a breakfast sandwich from Brianna's favorite workplace. :) Then everybody left, except for Michelle, who chilled at my place until she had to leave at eleven for work. Courtney discovered her sketchbook, and found a drawing she loved which Michelle gave to her. w00t.
Later, after all had gone home, Courtney and I went to SouthGate Plaza, so she could buy some shiz, and I could look for work. Got an interview today at four, woo-hoo! go me. dropped off resumes at a bunch of places.
At one, I walked home, and gave Ace a call, and we decided to hang out. I made my way to his place, and we walked to Timmies, where he bought me an Ice Cap! awesome! I'd been craving one, h-core. While at Timmies, he bugged me to know who he was on my honest statements, so instead of telling him, I made him write one of his own. He of course had neither the attention span, nor room on the bus schedule to write fifteen, so he only wrote ten.
Here are Ace's Honest Statements:
1) I've never enjoyed being someone's bitch so much. I hope you're right about me.
2) I'll never ever ever stop loving you with all my being.
3) I feel sorry for you, but only because I've been there. You're still pathetic.
4) You are the epitome of striking. It hurts everytime I see you, but I know I'll never be with you. I'm always smiling. (non sequitor much, Ace? jeex)
5)I don't hate you, it's just awkward.
6) You are so awesome, and I know you'll go far. You will forever be a huge part of me and I'll be there for you whenever you need it.
7)Damn you are funny. I've never been more sorry.
8) You truly are amazing. I think you saved me from myself. Thank you, I am forever indebted to you. Why are you so good to me?
9) I wish you didn't drink.
10) You are the biggest influence on me ever. I will be you friend and always comb my hair like yours forever. Thank you.
So, most of the people who wrote honest statements won't get at least half of those. I know them all of course, because I am magnificent. hahahar. The one he wrote for me has a lot of scribble-outs on it, and that bugs me. He said the only honest thing he could say about me was that I'd go far. That bugged me too.
Anyways, we walked around downtown a bit, went to see Michelle at the Sake House. That was super. She offered me lunch, but for some reason I was feeling anorexic, and liked it. Odd. Today I am hella hungry, though, so I guess I'm making up for it. I just gorged myself on Jello, and now feel happy.
So Ace and I went to A&B Sound so he could buy a CD (or two :P) and waited for Michelle to finish her shift. Finally when she was done, we started heading to her van, and along the way we bumped into Alex! w00t and a half! After that, Michelle gave me a ride home, and I forced Ace to see my new rearranged living room.
Last night I fell asleep around seven PM, or some shiz like that. It was stupid. But I slept excellently, and awoke this morning around seven fifteen feeling chipper, and joyous, so I guess it did it's job.
I've been sunbathing naked on my porch all morning, and let me tell you, it is so fucking hot out today. It's May, and I am perfectly happy in my freezing ass den wearing naught but panties and a shirt done up with one button. :P put that in your pipe and smoke it!
So, in other news, party here this Friday night! Bring booze, and good times shall ensue!
Friday, May 12, 2006
Quinn looks HOT!
wow, does my bro ever look tasty in this pic! (objectively speaking, of course!) lol! had to post it to embarrass him! ;D
the one on the right is our girls night! DAMN, we have a lotta fun!
OMG, who hasn't posted in a long time, yeah that would be ME!
so, my laptop is so super excellent! I've been downloading a ton of music on it. Well, maybe not a ton. BVut lots of stuff that I haven't heard in a while cause I didn't have it on a CD. And now I can make my OWN cd's!!!
The last few days have been filled with me forgetting that people were coming over, and then being a preoccupied hostess, lol! Amanda, my BF from elementary school came over yesterday, and I had no idea, until the dog started going ape shit upstairs, while I was messing around on my computer! We hung out--on the computers! Then after she left, Sean came over, expecting to chill and watch movies, cause he always comes over on the weekends to waqtch movies. I ended up torturing him with my freezing hands (from being on the computer all day!) He left when Geoff, and Amber and Brianna came over, and sat in my den--while I downloaded musack on my computer. Geoff and Brianna insulted my taste in my music for a while, while Amber tried to figure out how to get back to Quali. lol! I'm such an unbelievable loser!
I'm going to have to try to stay off of it long enough to clean my room for the girls night this weekend. I'm sooooo excited.
In other updates, I'm going absolutely NUTZ about my lack of a credit card! All I wanna do is buy shiz off the internet, and I can't!!!! RAWR! Oh well. Hopefully Laura McNaught will bring her recipe for that drink thing, and I can lose weight by eating nothign but that (and coffee--cause I wanna) for a long time. It will be cheaper, too! Which is good, because I am so broke.
I don't think I'm going to get any money this summer from Student Loans. So that means I have to get a job. NOW. If any of you have an actual surefire job to offer me, I'll take it! I don't care where it is, or what it is! I will scrub toilets for twelve hours a day, every day for the rest of the summer if it means I'll be able to pay my bills! :( I'm actually really scared about funds in a way I haven't been for quite a while... All this financial insecurity is making my Alberta trip not look so good. Not happy. not happy not happy not happy. I don't even have bus money.
Anyways. That is my life right now. Exciting, hey?
current music --> Bowl of Oranges- Bright Eyes
The last few days have been filled with me forgetting that people were coming over, and then being a preoccupied hostess, lol! Amanda, my BF from elementary school came over yesterday, and I had no idea, until the dog started going ape shit upstairs, while I was messing around on my computer! We hung out--on the computers! Then after she left, Sean came over, expecting to chill and watch movies, cause he always comes over on the weekends to waqtch movies. I ended up torturing him with my freezing hands (from being on the computer all day!) He left when Geoff, and Amber and Brianna came over, and sat in my den--while I downloaded musack on my computer. Geoff and Brianna insulted my taste in my music for a while, while Amber tried to figure out how to get back to Quali. lol! I'm such an unbelievable loser!
I'm going to have to try to stay off of it long enough to clean my room for the girls night this weekend. I'm sooooo excited.
In other updates, I'm going absolutely NUTZ about my lack of a credit card! All I wanna do is buy shiz off the internet, and I can't!!!! RAWR! Oh well. Hopefully Laura McNaught will bring her recipe for that drink thing, and I can lose weight by eating nothign but that (and coffee--cause I wanna) for a long time. It will be cheaper, too! Which is good, because I am so broke.
I don't think I'm going to get any money this summer from Student Loans. So that means I have to get a job. NOW. If any of you have an actual surefire job to offer me, I'll take it! I don't care where it is, or what it is! I will scrub toilets for twelve hours a day, every day for the rest of the summer if it means I'll be able to pay my bills! :( I'm actually really scared about funds in a way I haven't been for quite a while... All this financial insecurity is making my Alberta trip not look so good. Not happy. not happy not happy not happy. I don't even have bus money.
Anyways. That is my life right now. Exciting, hey?
current music --> Bowl of Oranges- Bright Eyes
Monday, May 08, 2006
OMG, who has the, bar none, BEST family in the whole wide world????
YEAH!
that would be ME!
My big bro just sent me a LAPTOP! How fucking cool is that?! It's so pretty, and silver, and fancy, and it has a cd, and dvd drive, and Buck installed Office on it, and I can get wirleless internet and it is SO FUCKING DOPE! And it came with this super awse carrying case, and it is just SO FREAKING EXCELLENT!!!!
Now all I need is the college girl uniform (knee-high leather boots, a calf-length skirt, and some form of sweater) and I will be a true College Pinto!!!!
w00t for me!!!!
that would be ME!
My big bro just sent me a LAPTOP! How fucking cool is that?! It's so pretty, and silver, and fancy, and it has a cd, and dvd drive, and Buck installed Office on it, and I can get wirleless internet and it is SO FUCKING DOPE! And it came with this super awse carrying case, and it is just SO FREAKING EXCELLENT!!!!
Now all I need is the college girl uniform (knee-high leather boots, a calf-length skirt, and some form of sweater) and I will be a true College Pinto!!!!
w00t for me!!!!
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