bah humbug

for some reason, today sucks. it may have something to do with my family freaking on me from BEFORE the very moment I woke up. I was up at a nice normal time, ten after eight, which IS normal today because they're on a field trip, and I forgot to get my permission slip in, so I am home right now, and I am going to Math in an hour.

But at any rate, I woke up, and Mom came storming into my room, freaking out about towels of all things, and because I had a pile of them sitting, getting their little towel-y selves ready to be washed, she went postal on me, figuring that I had all the towels in my house hidden in my room, for absolutely NO other purpose than to confound her, and solely her. And maybe Sherayna. A little. But anyways, I freaked out at her right back, and my day was started bad right away.

Then I came downstairs, and I always check blogs, and post a few comments right away after getting up, right? It's normal, it helps me wake up to some extent. And this time, SHERAYNA comes in and freaks on me, saying that I shouldn't be on the computer ALL the time, and saying all these things about my motivation. (now if you know Sherayna, you know how ridiculous THAT statement is; that girl gives me a strong urge to punch things). She also told me that I didn't have my priorities straight, which is retarded. It's not like she's the most industrious cookie, when there's a computer to be on! I'm never home, which is why I haven't been contributing to the cleanliness of my home, but she has no excuse! She takes the kids to school. What else does she have to do that REQUIRES her to be on the computer, and not taking care of business? So she can just shut up.

Then Mom freaked out at me because I refused to use the number that she took down for me off of a phone message, because I couldn't understand it, and I had chosen to use the information April was going to send to me (this is for the ten dollars an hour acting job). So she got steamed at me, and forced me to look at her message, and decipher it with her (because clearly, I am a handicapped three year old, with NO capabilities of making my OWN choices that involve MY life), which turned out to be a message for a DIFFERENT job, which I can't do anyways, cause I CAN'T DRAW! And then she got mad at me because I wasn't going to call them back, and said that me, being interested in business, should "have respect for business etiquette" and all this crap.

By this time, I was in tears, because I had been yelled at all day. Now all I have been trying to do all day is have some alone time before I have to go back to school. God forbid that I should ever have time to myself. Sherayna was like, "you're a part of this family too, you know, you're never home, and when you are, you won't even play cards with us, and be sociable." give me a freaking BREAK already! I am out literally all day everyday, and when I get home, is it such a bad thing to want to relax, and be by myself? Obviously, so! No, I don't get alone time. When I'm home I have to pay attention to my family, because they are incapable of living without a game of cards, REGARDLESS of whether or not I even LIKE playing cards, WHICH I DON'T! And it doesn't even matter anyways, because you all know me, when I detest something, I never hide it, so I always end up ruining cards, anyways! And of course, they're too good to play two-player Brag, or even Crib, so if I don't agree to play cards with them, regardless of homework, sleepiness, or disposition, AND pretend to enjoy it, well I guess that gives them the right to bitch, and whine, and moan and drip and complain to me, because CLEARLY, I am the devil.

I feel angst.

You and me, Barbara, you and me.